老婆和老板出轨后，我竟然同意了开放式婚姻｜REACTION
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Knowing my wife cheated never confronted her. | 知道我妻子出轨 从未和她对质过 |
| 0:04 | Today we are reading some posts from the surviving infidelity subreddit. | 今天,我们正在阅读一些来自幸存的不忠者附庸的文章。 |
| 0:08 | Let's just jump straight into it. | 我们直接跳进去吧 |
| 0:09 | My wife is 29 and I'm 33. | 我妻子29岁,我33岁 |
| 0:12 | We have been married for five years and together for eight. | 我们结婚5年了 在一起8年了 |
| 0:16 | We have a two year old daughter and moved a year ago to Copenhagen, Denmark, | 我们有一个两岁的女儿 一年前搬到丹麦哥本哈根 |
| 0:20 | from the East Coast of the USA. | 来自美国东海岸 |
| 0:23 | My wife got transferred in her company and effectively got a promotion. | 我妻子被调到她公司 得到了晋升 |
| 0:27 | She's Danish and so it was an opportunity to live near her family here in Denmark. | 她是丹麦人 所以这是在丹麦家附近生活的机会 |
| 0:33 | For me, I had to quit my job and try remote work. | 对我来说,我不得不辞掉工作,尝试远程工作. |
展开字幕全文（566 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Knowing my wife cheated never confronted her. | 知道我妻子出轨 从未和她对质过 |
| 2 | Today we are reading some posts from the surviving infidelity subreddit. | 今天,我们正在阅读一些来自幸存的不忠者附庸的文章。 |
| 3 | Let's just jump straight into it. | 我们直接跳进去吧 |
| 4 | My wife is 29 and I'm 33. | 我妻子29岁,我33岁 |
| 5 | We have been married for five years and together for eight. | 我们结婚5年了 在一起8年了 |
| 6 | We have a two year old daughter and moved a year ago to Copenhagen, Denmark, | 我们有一个两岁的女儿 一年前搬到丹麦哥本哈根 |
| 7 | from the East Coast of the USA. | 来自美国东海岸 |
| 8 | My wife got transferred in her company and effectively got a promotion. | 我妻子被调到她公司 得到了晋升 |
| 9 | She's Danish and so it was an opportunity to live near her family here in Denmark. | 她是丹麦人 所以这是在丹麦家附近生活的机会 |
| 10 | For me, I had to quit my job and try remote work. | 对我来说,我不得不辞掉工作,尝试远程工作. |
| 11 | This hasn't been as successful and I've transitioned to being a stay at home dad. | 这还没有那么成功 而且我已经转而留在家里的父亲。 |
| 12 | The move was a bit rocky as I felt like I was losing some of my friend network, | 动作有点摇晃,因为我觉得我失去了一些朋友网络, |
| 13 | my job and some of my freedom. | 我的工作还有一些自由 |
| 14 | I don't know Danish yet and don't know anyone in Denmark. | 我还不认识丹麦人 不认识丹麦人 |
| 15 | This situation has been isolating but improving as the weather gets better. | 这种情况一直孤立,但随着天气的改善而改善。 |
| 16 | I love spending time with my daughter. | 我喜欢陪我女儿 |
| 17 | I think being able to move and sacrifice that for your partner is one of the most beautiful things you can do. | 我认为能够移动和牺牲 对于你的伴侣,这是你所能做的最美的事情之一。 |
| 18 | It really shows how much you love, care and value your relationship with them | 这真的表明你有多爱,多关心,多珍惜你和他们的关系 |
| 19 | and how you see your whole future ahead with them. | 以及你如何看待你未来的未来 |
| 20 | You're able to leave behind everything, your friends, your work, your family probably, | 你可以抛下一切 你的朋友 工作 家人 |
| 21 | everything for your partner. | 为你搭档做的一切 |
| 22 | I think that's really selfless. | 我认为这是真的无私。 |
| 23 | It just shows how much he loves and cares about his family and his wife. | 这说明他有多爱和关心他的家人和妻子. |
| 24 | I do really like that and it's hard because now he lost his job. | 我真的很喜欢,这很难 因为现在他失业了。 |
| 25 | So I feel like he's also losing like a sense of his purpose maybe. | 所以我觉得他可能也失去了某种目的感 |
| 26 | But he found a new purpose by taking care of his daughter, which is just as fulfilling, I'm sure. | 但是他照顾他的女儿 找到了一个新目的 我敢肯定 这同样是满足的 |
| 27 | About eight months ago, my wife started acting suspiciously and was bringing up her boss a lot. | 大约八个月前,我妻子开始行动可疑,经常提起她的老板. |
| 28 | She did all the hallmark red flags of worrying about her appearance way more. | 她做了所有的标志性 红旗担心她的外表。 |
| 29 | Mood changes, hiding her phone, texting in the middle of the night. | 摩德变身,隐藏手机,半夜发短信. |
| 30 | She doesn't bring up her boss anymore. | 她不再提起她的老板了。 |
| 31 | But I know they have went on work trips together. | 但我知道他们一起出差 |
| 32 | That's honestly really sad. | 这真的太可悲了 |
| 33 | Like when you think about it, he literally left behind his entire life for his wife and his family. | 就像你考虑的时候,他从字面上把一生留给他的妻子和家人. |
| 34 | He left it all behind. | 他把一切都抛在后面了 |
| 35 | And like I was just saying, it's a really selfless thing to do. | 就像我刚才说的,这是件无私的事。 |
| 36 | And then she cheats and then she's sus. | 然后她作弊,然后她就成为了Sus. |
| 37 | Then she's doing all this stuff, being cheating. | 然后她做了所有这些事情, 欺骗。 |
| 38 | Like you do not deserve that man, bro. | 就像你配不上那个人一样 兄弟 |
| 39 | You do not deserve him. | 你配不着他 |
| 40 | Honestly, the boss is probably married to, has kids and everything. | 老实说,老板可能已经结婚了,有孩子和一切。 |
| 41 | It's just so messy. | 这太乱了 |
| 42 | I don't know why people just cheat in general, but most cheating happens like in like an office setting, right? | 我不知道为什么人们只是作弊 一般,但大多数作弊发生 像在办公室环境,对不对? |
| 43 | I don't have hard proof, but I'm almost 99% sure she's cheated or is cheating. | 我没有确凿的证据 但我几乎99%确定她被骗或被骗了 |
| 44 | I've tried to ask her indirectly and she just shuts down the conversation. | 我试图间接问她 她只是关闭了谈话。 |
| 45 | The other huge red flags was when she started talking about her boss more. | 另一个巨大的红旗是她开始更多地谈论她的老板的时候. |
| 46 | She suddenly at the same time decided she was into non-monogamy. | 她忽然决定自己是非亲夫. |
| 47 | I told her I wasn't interested, but she said maybe that's how she is. | 我告诉她我不感兴趣 但她说也许她就是这样 |
| 48 | Yeah, I mean, she probably cheated. | 是啊,我的意思是,她可能欺骗。 |
| 49 | I think obviously people bring up this out of the blue when they've never been into it to feel as guilty about cheating | 我觉得很明显,人们突然提出这个 当他们从来没有参与过 感到内疚 关于欺骗 |
| 50 | because they don't think their partner is going to do it. | 因为他们认为他们的搭档不会这么做 |
| 51 | So they want to open up their relationship to go and then like bang your boss. | 所以他们想打开他们的关系 去,然后喜欢上你的老板。 |
| 52 | Get out of here, bro. | 离开这里,兄弟。 |
| 53 | Low-key stunner piss me off. | 低调的震撼人让我很生气 |
| 54 | So now here we are. | 现在我们到了。 |
| 55 | I feel very stuck as I'm in a foreign country dependent on my wife. | 我感到很受困,因为我身处一个依赖我妻子的外国。 |
| 56 | Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the thing. | 是啊,是啊,是啊,这是事情。 |
| 57 | Now you can't really do anything like you're dependent on her and you also have a daughter and it's a foreign country. | 现在,你不能真的做任何事情 像你依赖她, 你还有一个女儿,这是一个外国。 |
| 58 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 59 | I don't have a job and don't have that much savings. | 我没有工作,也没有那么多积蓄 |
| 60 | She is the main breadwinner. | 她是主要养家糊口的人。 |
| 61 | She would obviously want to keep my daughter here if something happened. | 如果出了什么事 她显然想把我的女儿留在这里 |
| 62 | I don't want to risk that. | 我不想冒这个险 |
| 63 | I also feel humiliated by her cheating and it's made me feel inadequate, isolated and very jealous of him and her. | 我也觉得她作弊很丢脸,这让我觉得自己不够充分,孤立,非常嫉妒他和她. |
| 64 | I feel like such a loser because I actually still love her. | 我觉得自己是个失败者 因为我仍然爱她 |
| 65 | I want to gain her approval and feel like it's my fault that she is doing this in some way. | 我想得到她的认可 觉得她这么做 是我的错 |
| 66 | It's more complicated than just being one person's fault because maybe she wasn't receiving something in a relationship. | 这比一个人的错更复杂 因为也许她没有在感情中接受什么 |
| 67 | She needed, but she did not communicate that and it can go both ways. | 她需要,但她没有 沟通,它可以双向。 |
| 68 | You just need to communicate. | 你只需要沟通 |
| 69 | If there's something you're not receiving and there's something you feel like is missing, | 如果有你不接受的东西 和有你感觉的东西 是缺失, |
| 70 | instead of going and searching for it elsewhere and destroying a family relationship and an eight year relationship, | 而不是去别处寻找 破坏家庭关系和八年关系 |
| 71 | like five years marriage, why not just like talk about it, communicate, understand each other more and then work and fix things. | 像五年的婚姻, 为什么不只是喜欢谈论它, 沟通,了解对方更多 然后工作 和修复的东西。 |
| 72 | So then you can get what you need in your relationship and not have to search elsewhere and then, you know, cheat. | 这样你就可以在恋爱中得到你需要的东西 不需要在别处搜索 然后,你知道,欺骗。 |
| 73 | I want to gain her approval and feel like it's my fault that she is doing this in some way. | 我想得到她的认可 觉得她这么做 是我的错 |
| 74 | The risk of blowing up our marriage and losing my daughter and my lack of self confidence plus trying to win her back | 毁了我们的婚姻 失去我女儿 失去自信 还有试图赢得她归来 |
| 75 | has led me to basically do nothing to confront her with her affair. | 我根本没做什么来对抗她 |
| 76 | Is this a sustainable path? | 这是一条可持续的道路吗? |
| 77 | I guess maybe it's naive, but I think she wouldn't want to break up our family for her fling. | 我想也许这太天真了 但我想她不会因为她挥舞而破坏我们家庭 |
| 78 | Do other people just sort of let it go and hope it goes away? | 别人会放弃它 希望它消失吗? |
| 79 | I think maybe I'm taking the path of least resistance and it will blow up in my face later. | 我想也许我走的路 抵抗最小, 它会爆炸我的脸以后。 |
| 80 | Yeah, I definitely think you need to talk about this and you need to confront it because even if you're okay now | 是的,我敢肯定,你需要谈论 这件事,你需要面对它 因为即使你现在没事 |
| 81 | and you feel inadequate, eventually that's going to build a lot of resentment between your wife and you. | 你感到不足, 最终,这将 建立很多怨恨 你的妻子和你。 |
| 82 | So you need to talk about this stuff. | 所以你得谈谈这件事 |
| 83 | You should not keep this in, especially something like this and especially when you have a daughter. | 你不应该保持这个, 尤其是像这样的东西, 特别是当你有一个女儿。 |
| 84 | Let's read some of the comments. | 我们来读读一些评论吧 |
| 85 | Top comment. | 顶端评论. |
| 86 | I would take the kid on a vacation to see her family and have her served from America. | 我会带孩子去度假 去看她的家人 让她从美国得到服务 |
| 87 | Consult with a lawyer who handles international custody cases. | 与处理国际监护案件的律师协商。 |
| 88 | This is the answer. | 这是答案。 |
| 89 | This, don't forget to report them in their company then. | 这个 别忘了在他们公司报到 |
| 90 | Do not report till divorce is complete. | 离婚前不要报告。 |
| 91 | Find all evidence until then. | 找到所有的证据 |
| 92 | If she has a bad reputation and unemployed, | 如果她有坏名声和失业, |
| 93 | OP will have more advantage for custody once he gets back to the United States. | 一旦他回到美国 OP就更有利于拘留 |
| 94 | Okay, so yeah, people are giving some pretty good advice. | 好吧,所以是的,人们正在提供 一些相当好的建议。 |
| 95 | Go back on a family trip to America with your whole family and have her served there. | 和你全家一起回美国 让她在那里服务 |
| 96 | Orchish Warhammer评论说, | |
| 97 | Have you thought about taking your daughter to the US for a vacation and just staying and restarting your life without your wife? | 你考虑过带你女儿去美国度假吗? 离开你妻子就留下来重新开始生活? |
| 98 | Especially if you have family and friends you can rely on. | 特别是如果你有家人和朋友 你可以依赖。 |
| 99 | I know that's a shitty thing to do, but your wife has put you in an impossible situation. | 我知道这是件烂事 但你妻子让你陷入了不可能的境地 |
| 100 | I don't think just like taking your daughter essentially like running away back to America is the right thing. | 我不认为就像把你女儿带回美国一样 |
| 101 | I think, yeah, it's probably a good idea to start stuff in America from your point of view, | 我认为,是的,这可能是一个好主意 在美国开始的东西 从你的观点, |
| 102 | since you have the advantages there, since that's your country. | 因为你有优势,因为那是你的祖国。 |
| 103 | But have your wife go there, serve divorce papers and just explain to her, | 但让你的妻子去那里, 提供离婚文件 并只是解释给她, |
| 104 | yeah, you know, come clean, you want to understand everything. | 是啊,你知道,说清楚,你想了解一切。 |
| 105 | Once you understand the situation, then work from there. | 一旦你了解情况,然后从那里工作。 |
| 106 | If you think you could fix the relationship and get therapy, okay. | 如果你认为你可以 修复关系和得到治疗,好吗。 |
| 107 | If you think you can't, then don't. | 如果你认为你做不到 那就不要 |
| 108 | And probably you could ask your wife, okay, well, we want to I want to move back to America now and not stay in Denmark, | 也许你可以问你的妻子, 好吧,我们想,我想搬回美国 现在,而不是留在丹麦, |
| 109 | because that's where her affair happened. | 因为那是她出事的地方 |
| 110 | OP replied, not really, because I couldn't do that to my wife, even though she is obviously behaving terribly. | OP回答说, 不是真的,因为我不能这样做 我的妻子,尽管她明显 表现糟糕。 |
| 111 | She is a good mom. | 她是个好妈妈 |
| 112 | So it sounds like she is still a pretty good person, even though she's having an affair. | 听起来她还是个好人 虽然她有外遇 |
| 113 | Like, I guess both things can be true. | 我想这两件事都是真的 |
| 114 | They're not mutually exclusive, but you're still a bad person to your husband. | 他们不是互相排斥的 但你对你丈夫来说还是个坏人 |
| 115 | You might be a good mom, but you're not a good husband because you're a cheater. | 你可能是个好妈妈 但你不是好丈夫 因为你是个骗子 |
| 116 | You should do whatever is in the best interest of your daughter. | 你应该为女儿着想 |
| 117 | Remember that you are modeling for her what relationships look like. | 记得你在为她做模特 感情是什么样子的 |
| 118 | I'm sorry this is happening to you. | 对不起,这是发生在你身上。 |
| 119 | I can't imagine how horrible this is. | 我无法想象这有多可怕 |
| 120 | That's why you have to be you have to be so, so, so careful who you trust in your life and who you let into your life as a partner. | 故得为人,须如此,如此,慎其信命之人,任其为伴侣. |
| 121 | Not even just a girlfriend, but like marriage and everything. | 不仅仅是女朋友,而且喜欢婚姻和一切 |
| 122 | You have to be really careful because they've been together eight years and after eight years, then she cheats. | 你一定要非常小心 因为他们在一起八年了 过了八年,然后她就作弊了 |
| 123 | So it could have been perfect, except for that last year. | 因此,它本来是完美的, 除了去年。 |
| 124 | And then it's like they forget about the whole relationship. | 然后就像他们忘记了整个关系 |
| 125 | It could be both sides, the husband or wife forget about the relationship and seek some sort of external like dopamine hit. | 可能是双方,丈夫或妻子忘记了关系 并寻求某种外在 类似多巴胺击中。 |
| 126 | And once it happens, they want more and more. | 一旦发生,他们想要的越来越多。 |
| 127 | Or once it happens, they feel guilty and then become a better wife or a better husband. | 或者一旦发生,他们就会感到内疚,然后成为更好的妻子或更好的丈夫. |
| 128 | Someone replied, to add to this, please don't forget to talk to your child, to opiate and anyone that thinks to do this, | 有人回答说,加起来,请不要忘记 和你的孩子,阿片剂和任何人 谁想这样做, |
| 129 | as they need to know the truth and have the ability to voice their feelings too. | 他们需要知道真相 并且有能力表达他们的感受 |
| 130 | That's really true. | 这是真的。 |
| 131 | I read a lot of these stories where people don't want to tell their children or they try to hide their children | 我读了很多这些故事 人们不想告诉自己的孩子 或者他们试图隐藏自己的孩子 |
| 132 | or they have the mom and the husband and wife hate each other, but they try to act for the children like the children wouldn't notice. | 或者他们让妈妈和丈夫和妻子互相憎恨 但是他们试图为孩子们做一些事 就像孩子们不会注意到一样 |
| 133 | But everyone in the comments is always like, yeah, this was my parents and we noticed, we knew, we saw the tension. | 但评论中的每一个人总是喜欢,是的,这是我的父母, 我们注意到,我们知道,我们看到了紧张。 |
| 134 | And it's not a good environment for your kids. | 这对你的孩子来说不是一个好环境。 |
| 135 | So do what's best for your kids and talk to them like, yeah, they might be young, but they can still, you know, think and voice what they want. | 做对你孩子最好的事 和他们说话 像,是的,他们可能很年轻, 但他们仍然可以,你知道, 思考和说话 他们想要什么。 |
| 136 | While I understand that OP may want to take the kid with them, if the mother has more, | 虽然我知道OP可能想带孩子去 如果母亲有更多孩子的话 |
| 137 | If the mother has a more stable life and treats the kid right, she could end up resenting OP for taking her away from her mom and friends, | 如果母亲的生活比较稳定,并好好对待孩子,她最终可能会因为带她离开母亲和朋友而怨恨OP, |
| 138 | potentially to a more unstable life. | 有可能让生活更加不稳定 |
| 139 | This is a hard place to be and I'm sorry, OP, but I think your first action is to get solid proof, then go from there. | 这是一个很难的地方,我很抱歉,OP, 但我认为你的第一个行动 是获得确凿的证据,然后从那里去。 |
| 140 | Don't be hasty or rash, find proof, then act accordingly. | 不要草率或鲁莽,找到证据,然后采取相应的行动. |
| 141 | OP replied, it will be figured out the drastic step of taking her away from her mother will be traumatizing. | 执行办公室答复说,如果把她从母亲身边带走,那将会导致创伤。 |
| 142 | She wouldn't know why. | 她不知道为什么 |
| 143 | Finding an off ramp or reconciling seems to me the least of all bad options. | 找到一个坡道或和解 对我来说是最不合适的选择 |
| 144 | Someone replied, sorry, but good moms don't cheat. | 有人回答,对不起,但好妈妈不会作弊。 |
| 145 | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
| 146 | Yeah, good moms don't cheat because they know and they think about how it will impact their family. | 是啊,好妈妈不作弊 因为他们知道,他们思考 它会如何影响他们的家庭。 |
| 147 | So your cheating, if it ever gets exposed, will pretty much destroy your family. | 所以,你的作弊,如果它被曝光, 几乎会摧毁你的家人。 |
| 148 | So a good mom would never risk her family for some like external validation or pleasure, you know? | 所以一个好妈妈绝不会为了一些像外部验证或快乐之类的东西 冒着家庭的风险,你知道吗? |
| 149 | Someone replied to that. | 有人回答说 |
| 150 | A good mom would have considered the impact of an affair on her family, including her daughter. | 一个好妈妈会考虑 外遇对家庭的影响 包括她的女儿 |
| 151 | Cheaters are selfish and self-absorbed. | 骗子自私自利,自以为是。 |
| 152 | Facts, bro. | 事实,兄弟。 |
| 153 | None of this is to say she doesn't have some good qualities, but you're likely overlooking current behaviors | 这些都不是说她没有好品质 但你可能忽略了当前的行为 |
| 154 | because you're still in love with the woman you married before she let her selfishness take over completely. | 因为你仍然爱着那个你结婚的女人 在她让她的自私完全取代她之前 |
| 155 | Someone replied, you're too passive. | 有人回答,你太被动了。 |
| 156 | Passive men get taken advantage of. | 被动的人被利用。 |
| 157 | Through history, passive men never did anything. | 通过历史, 被动的人从来没有做任何事情。 |
| 158 | Time to stop with that California mindset. | 是时候停止加州的思维了 |
| 159 | Bro, what did California do? | 哥,加州怎么办? |
| 160 | The fuck? | 什么他妈的? |
| 161 | California catching strays out here, bro. | 加州抓流浪汉,兄弟 |
| 162 | A good mother wouldn't break her child's heart by cheating. | 一个好母亲不会因为作弊而伤了孩子的心. |
| 163 | Facts. | 事实 |
| 164 | So, yeah, you look, I take back what I said. | 所以,是的,你看, 我收回我说的话。 |
| 165 | A good mom wouldn't cheat. | 好妈妈不会出轨的 |
| 166 | So I guess you can't be a good mom. | 我猜你不可能是个好妈妈 |
| 167 | I guess, yeah, I don't even know what I said, but you can't be a good mom and cheat. | 我猜,是的,我什至不知道我说什么, 但你不能成为一个好妈妈和欺骗。 |
| 168 | If you cheat, you're a bad mom, period. | 如果你作弊,你是一个坏妈妈,期限。 |
| 169 | Unless like you don't have any kids, then you're just a bad wife or a bad girlfriend because you're a cheater, you know? | 除非像你没有孩子, 那么你只是一个坏妻子或坏女友 因为你是一个骗子,你知道吗? |
| 170 | So we have an update. | 所以,我们有一个更新。 |
| 171 | Let's read the update. | 让我们看看最新消息 |
| 172 | Long story short, my wife was most likely cheating with her boss. | 长话短说 我妻子很可能和她的老板作弊 |
| 173 | I don't know for sure now, but I gave her the option to try and open the relationship and she took it. | 我不知道,现在,但我给了她选择 尝试打开关系,她接受了它。 |
| 174 | And eventually she told me she was seeing her boss, the same one I already had suspicions of being with on work trips and texting. | 最后她告诉我,她正在和她老板约会, 那个我已经怀疑在上班和发短信时在一起的人。 |
| 175 | I will say that's not all a plot to catch her. | 我要说这不是所有 阴谋抓住她。 |
| 176 | As mentioned in my past post, I have a visa issue being in Denmark and she controls a lot of the cards. | 正如我过去的文章中提到的,我在丹麦有签证问题,她控制着许多卡片。 |
| 177 | I also will admit I wanted our family to work and just didn't want to believe she was this way. | 我也承认 我希望我们的家人工作 只是不想相信她是这样。 |
| 178 | I loved her even knowing she was most likely seeing someone else. | 我甚至爱她 即使知道她最有可能和别人约会 |
| 179 | I naively thought it was a phase or I could ignore it. | 我天真地认为这是一个阶段 或者我可以忽略它。 |
| 180 | Being in an open relationship was eye opening and really changed my opinion of her on top of being extremely painful and so surreal. | 在开放的关系中是开眼的 真正改变了我对她的看法 在极度痛苦和如此超现实。 |
| 181 | Once she got comfortable, she would openly flaunt her new sex life with me. | 一旦她变得舒适, 她会公开炫耀 她的新性生活与我。 |
| 182 | She would tell me she was going to see him and be gone for hours as I was responsible for babysitting. | 她会告诉我,她要去见他 并离开几个小时 当我负责照看孩子。 |
| 183 | She would prepare for a work trip while packing lingerie meant for him. | 她会准备去上班,同时收拾内衣 |
| 184 | She even would start to compare me to him and stop herself once she realized how ridiculous it was. | 她甚至会开始比较我和他 一旦她意识到这有多荒谬 就停下来 |
| 185 | During this time, she basically stopped initiating sex with me. | 在此期间,她基本上不再和我开始做爱。 |
| 186 | We were like roommates in many ways, but the other weird part was apart from sex, | 我们像室友 在许多方面, 但另一个奇怪的部分 与性不同, |
| 187 | she was always trying to be extremely affectionate towards me and was a better wife in many ways, maybe trying to overcompensate. | 她总是想对我极为亲切 在许多方面是更好的妻子 或许是想过度补偿 |
| 188 | Once she got to Denmark, she got a whole group of friends, some of whom had known before, | 一旦她到了丹麦,她得到了 一整组朋友,其中一些人以前知道, |
| 189 | and I think they had a huge influence on her and prompted this. | 我认为他们对她有很大的影响 并促使了这一切。 |
| 190 | She even found us a therapist who was extremely sympathetic to her and trying to help me deal with jealousy. | 她甚至找到一个治疗师 她非常同情她 并试图帮助我 处理嫉妒。 |
| 191 | Things changed and definitely me being a stay-at-home dad put me in a different hierarchy for her. | 事情变了 我绝对是家里的爸爸 使我处于不同的等级 |
| 192 | Everything seemed like it was telling me to ignore my own feelings and be told it was actually manly to be emasculated by her. | 一切似乎都让我忽视自己的感情 并被别人告诉 被她抹杀其实是人性化的 |
| 193 | Her friends would actively encourage and support her and even make off-handed comments to me about being a good husband. | 她的朋友会积极鼓励和支持她,甚至对我发表关于做一个好丈夫的不言自明的评论. |
| 194 | It was all infuriating in a way. | 有点让人恼火 |
| 195 | Regardless, in December, her relationship with the boss blew up. | 无论如何,在12月,她和老板的关系被炸了. |
| 196 | I won't go into too much specifics, but it was a messy ending. | 我不会说太多细节 但结局很乱 |
| 197 | She obviously had feelings for him, something she swore wasn't the case and that it was just sex. | 她显然对他有感觉, 她发誓的东西不是这种情况, 那只是性。 |
| 198 | Suddenly she was crying and wanting me to comfort her. | 突然她哭着要我安慰她 |
| 199 | This was a breaking point for me. | 这对我来说是一个突破点。 |
| 200 | I couldn't handle hearing her mourn her fuck buddy. | 我听不见她哀悼她他妈的朋友 |
| 201 | I decided to take a break for a reset. | 我决定休息一下重设 |
| 202 | I'm now back in the USA for two weeks trying to figure out what I do. | 我现在回到美国两周 试图找出我在做什么。 |
| 203 | It's complicated due to custody and the visa issues, but I'm assessing my options. | 由于监护和签证问题 情况很复杂 但我在评估我的选择 |
| 204 | There's a high chance I go back to Denmark and just be roommates until I can find a job. | 我很有可能回丹麦 做室友直到找到工作 |
| 205 | I obviously need to get back from my daughter too. | 我显然也需要从我女儿那里回来 |
| 206 | It does feel like I finally got my head out of the sand once I got away from her for a couple days. | 我离开她几天后 终于摆脱了困境 |
| 207 | This is at the same time now where she is freaking out and calling me and wanting to try again | 此时此刻,她惊慌失措,打电话给我,想再试一次 |
| 208 | and admitting she really fucked up and saying everything I wanted to hear six months ago. | 并承认她真的搞砸了 并说的一切 我想听到六个月前。 |
| 209 | I don't think I can go back to being with her after all of what happened. | 发生这么多事后 我不能再和她在一起了 |
| 210 | I lost all my confidence with her, which is something she has a lot of trouble understanding. | 我对她失去了所有的信心,这是她很难理解的。 |
| 211 | Anyway, long story short, would not recommend for anyone. | 总之,长话短说,不会向任何人推荐。 |
| 212 | Don't worry, bro. | 别担心,兄弟。 |
| 213 | I was not. | 我没有 |
| 214 | I was not planning on it. | 我不打算这么做 |
| 215 | Let's read some of the comments. | 我们来读读一些评论吧 |
| 216 | Top comment. | 顶端评论. |
| 217 | I would not trust a single word that comes out of her mouth. | 我绝不会相信她嘴里说的一句话 |
| 218 | Actions show the person. | 动作显示人。 |
| 219 | She's very knowingly destroyed you for her own personal gain a thousand times over. | 她故意为了个人利益 毁了你一千次 |
| 220 | I would plan your exit strategy or you'll be posting here again in another five years | 我会计划你的撤离计划 否则你五年后会再次被派到这里 |
| 221 | when she's done the same thing. | 当她做了同样的事情。 |
| 222 | Maybe next time that fair partner will catch feelings too and then she'll show how little | 也许下次公平伴侣也会抓住感情 然后她就会表现出来 |
| 223 | she loves you when she takes every dollar you have and your kids from you. | 她爱你 当她从你身上夺走你拥有的每一美元 和你的孩子 |
| 224 | I know it's hard, but you need to understand your wife is the enemy. | 我知道这很难 但你得明白你妻子是敌人 |
| 225 | Start planning your exit. | 开始计划你的退出。 |
| 226 | Get a job and see a lawyer. | 找份工作去见律师 |
| 227 | Someone replied, words lie. | 有人回答, 说假话。 |
| 228 | Actions speak truth. | 行动是真实的。 |
| 229 | Facts, dude. | 事实,伙计。 |
| 230 | I always say this. | 我总是这么说 |
| 231 | I'm like, words are important and they matter | 我很喜欢,言语很重要 它们很重要 |
| 232 | and saying words are important to show how you feel if you're being genuine. | 说出话来表达你的真情 |
| 233 | But what's more important is actions, how you act, what you do, not just words, | 但更重要的是行动,你的行为,你做什么,不只是言语, |
| 234 | because people can say anything. | 因为人们可以说什么。 |
| 235 | But actions is what really like sets it apart where are they telling the truth or are they lying? | 但是,行动是真正意义上的 把它分开 他们说的是真话还是撒谎? |
| 236 | Words are important, but actions really show the truth, you know? | 话语很重要,但行动真的显示真相,你知道吗? |
| 237 | Time traveler 50 commented, don't you think it's time to respect yourself | 时光旅行家50号评论,你不觉得该尊重自己吗? |
| 238 | because clearly she doesn't and move on without her. | 因为很明显,她没有她 并继续前进。 |
| 239 | She will never learn her lesson. | 她永远不会吸取教训。 |
| 240 | It's not in her nature. | 这不是她的本性 |
| 241 | Someone replied, he has a daughter to worry about. | 有人回答说 他有个女儿要担心 |
| 242 | It's not that easy. | 这不是那么容易。 |
| 243 | OP replied, yes. | OP回答,是的。 |
| 244 | Biggest lesson for people is having kids changes everything. | 给人们最大的教训是 让孩子改变一切 |
| 245 | It would be very easy to move on without that. | 没有这些就很容易继续前进。 |
| 246 | Yeah, that is true. | 是的,这是真的。 |
| 247 | Once you have a kid, it's not just about you and her. | 一旦你有了孩子 不只是你和她 |
| 248 | It's not just about how you feel. | 不只是你的感觉 |
| 249 | You have to think about how your child feels or your children. | 你必须思考你的孩子和孩子的感受 |
| 250 | And that makes stuff a lot more complicated, especially with like custody | 这让事情变得复杂得多 特别是像监护权一样 |
| 251 | and then like child support and all this stuff. | 然后喜欢孩子的赡养 和所有这些东西。 |
| 252 | And then like living like separate to separately in different houses. | 然后喜欢像分开住 在不同的房子。 |
| 253 | Like, yeah, that's why you got to be careful who you have children with. | 喜欢,是的, 这就是为什么你必须小心 谁有你的孩子。 |
| 254 | Because even if you know them, you've known them for years and years and years, | 因为即使你认识他们 你认识他们很多年了 |
| 255 | they can still turn around on you. | 他们仍然可以转身对你。 |
| 256 | So it's like I think communication is like really the most important part of a relationship | 所以我觉得沟通是关系最重要的部分 |
| 257 | and being able to understand each other, understand if you're not getting enough of something | 和能够理解对方, 理解,如果你没有得到足够的东西 |
| 258 | or you want like you want something to change or you don't like the way things are. | 或者你想改变什么 或者你不喜欢现在的样子 |
| 259 | It's really important to talk about it, communicate it, try to accommodate them and change. | 谈论它,沟通它,尝试适应它们,改变它们,是非常重要的. |
| 260 | Agent K002 commented, let me guess until today, she never told you | K002探员评论说,让我猜猜,直到今天,她从未告诉你 |
| 261 | that she cheated on you with her boss already before you opened up the marriage. | 在你开婚前 她已经和她老板欺骗了你 |
| 262 | When moving on, please always keep in mind that if she wouldn't have the blow up with her boss, | 继续前行时 请记住 如果她不会和老板一起爆炸 |
| 263 | that she would be having sex with him right now. | 她现在和他做爱 |
| 264 | And if her boss would have had feelings for her too, | 如果她老板也对她有感情的话 |
| 265 | she would have left you behind right away. | 她会马上离开你 |
| 266 | The only reason why she is now saying that she fucked up isn't because she regrets what she did, | 她之所以说自己搞砸了 并不是因为她后悔了自己的所作所为 |
| 267 | only because it hasn't worked out with her boss as she wanted to. | 只是因为她和老板没有如愿以偿 |
| 268 | You are worth so much more than to be treated the way she treated you. | 你比她对待你的方式更有价值 |
| 269 | Yeah, that's really true. | 是啊,这是真的。 |
| 270 | You are just like a fallback second option. | 你就像一个落后的第二个选择。 |
| 271 | And as soon as the new boss or the new coworker or the new someone shiny toy comes up, | 一旦新老板、新同事或新人出现 |
| 272 | she's going to go right back into it, right back to cheating. | 她会回到它, 回到欺骗。 |
| 273 | If she catches feelings and the other person also catches feelings, | 如果她抓住了感情 而另一个人也抓住了感情 |
| 274 | then she's leaving your ass in the dust. | 然后她就把你丢在尘土里了 |
| 275 | Like literally. | 就像字面上一样 |
| 276 | Next story. | 下一个故事。 |
| 277 | Having a hard time defending myself in all of this. | 在这一切中很难为自己辩护 |
| 278 | I never imagined I would be posting this, but here I am. | 我从未想过我会张贴这个,但我在这里。 |
| 279 | My wife and I have been together for 13 years, | 我妻子和我在一起已经13年了 |
| 280 | met in high school and have been in love since. | 高中时相遇,从此相爱. |
| 281 | But a few weeks ago, things started to get rough between us. | 但是几周前 我们之间开始变得很不愉快 |
| 282 | She wanted to spend the weekend at a friend's house, which I thought was okay. | 她想在朋友家过周末 我觉得这很好 |
| 283 | Turns out it was someone she worked with who she started an emotional affair with. | 原来是和她合作的人 开始了感情上的恋情 |
| 284 | Yeah, we don't like this. | 是啊,我们不喜欢这样。 |
| 285 | We don't like this. | 我们不喜欢这样 |
| 286 | This is like really like slimy behavior. | 这就像真的 像黏糊糊的行为。 |
| 287 | Even if nothing happened, why are you staying at the house of someone you had an affair with? | 即使什么都没有发生,你为什么 住在你有一个外遇的人的房子? |
| 288 | Emotional or physical? | 情感还是身体? |
| 289 | It doesn't matter. | 没关系 |
| 290 | An affair is an affair. | 外遇即为外遇. |
| 291 | That is a huge violation of trust. | 这是对信任的巨大侵犯。 |
| 292 | If you keep that information from your husband, | 如果你不从你丈夫那里得到信息 |
| 293 | when you ask, oh, could I stay at a friend's house? | 当你问,哦,我可以住在一个朋友的房子? |
| 294 | But you don't mention it's someone you had an affair with. | 但你没说是你有外遇 |
| 295 | Out the door, dude. | 出去,伙计。 |
| 296 | Literally. | 当然 |
| 297 | When confronted, she said that I had been pushing her away for months | 当面对面,她说,我已经 推了她几个月 |
| 298 | and he gave her the attention she needed. | 他给了她必要的关注 |
| 299 | The past few weeks have been a back and forth of I need space followed by me spiraling, | 过去几周,我需要空间,然后螺旋上升, |
| 300 | thinking about her and then catching her with him again after going to extreme measures. | 想想她,然后在采取极端措施之后再次抓住她。 |
| 301 | Air tag in the car, looking through her email, driving to his house. | 车上的空气标签,通过她的电子邮件,开车去他家。 |
| 302 | Last night was our first therapy session. | 昨晚是我们第一次治疗 |
| 303 | I went into it on the understanding that I was giving her one last time | 我这么做是因为我最后一次告诉她 |
| 304 | and needed her to put in the work. | 并需要她投入工作。 |
| 305 | She instead said her goal for this was to handle our separation healthily. | 她却说她的目标是 健康地处理我们的分居 |
| 306 | The day before, she had begged for my forgiveness, | 前一天 她求我原谅 |
| 307 | but then said I was smothering her and pushing her away. | 却说我要掐死她 把她赶走 |
| 308 | Yeah, this is really complicated. | 是啊,这真的很复杂。 |
| 309 | It's like a push and pull. | 如是推而牵之. |
| 310 | That's like a manipulation tactic. | 这就像一个操纵战术。 |
| 311 | Maybe she's doing it unintentionally, | 也许她这样做是无意的, |
| 312 | but pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling, | 但推和拉,推和拉, |
| 313 | giving you affection, saying you want to work things out, | 说你想解决事情 |
| 314 | and then the next day pulling away and going back to her affair partner. | 然后第二天就离开 回到她的情侣身边 |
| 315 | You don't deserve this and just walk away at this point | 你不配这样,就这样走开 |
| 316 | because she's never going to choose you. | 因为她永远不会选择你 |
| 317 | My problem is that I believe her when she says all of what I did wrong. | 我的问题是,我相信她 当她说我所做的一切错误。 |
| 318 | When she first explained how this happened, | 当她第一次解释这件事情时 |
| 319 | everything she laid out that I did, I agree with her. | 我同意她所说的一切 |
| 320 | I had been distant for months and was far more depressed than I thought I was. | 几个月来我一直很疏远 而且比我想象的要沮丧得多 |
| 321 | I thought that since I wasn't actively trying to off myself | 我想,因为我没有 积极尝试关闭自己 |
| 322 | that I didn't need therapy. | 我不需要治疗 |
| 323 | And because of that, I made her miserable for months. | 因此,我让她痛苦了好几个月。 |
| 324 | She tried to talk to me, but I pushed her away at every turn. | 她想跟我说话,但我把她推开 |
| 325 | Yeah, so like that's the thing about relationships. | 是啊,所以喜欢 事情的关系。 |
| 326 | People need an emotional connection | 人需要感情联系 |
| 327 | and you can't push someone away for months and months, | 你不能把别人推开几个月 |
| 328 | even weeks, push someone away and expect them to not change. | 哪怕是几周 推开某人 期望他们不会改变 |
| 329 | People should feel stable and comfortable in relationships. | 人们在交往中应该感到稳定和舒适. |
| 330 | If you're not able to give your partner that, | 如果你不能给你的搭档 |
| 331 | then they might go seek that somewhere else. | 然后他们可能去别的地方找 |
| 332 | And if you think you're unable to give them that, | 如果你觉得自己不能给他们这个 |
| 333 | you should end things with them or say you need like some temporary separation | 你该和他们结束一切 或者说你需要像暂时分居一样 |
| 334 | or realize maybe I should go to therapy and try to fix this | 或者意识到 也许我应该去治疗 并试图修复这一点 |
| 335 | instead of just constantly pushing them away | 而不是不断地把他们推开 |
| 336 | because you might think, okay, nothing will happen. | 因为你可能认为, 好吧, 不会发生任何事情。 |
| 337 | I'm not actively trying to off myself, | 我不是主动想离开自己, |
| 338 | but it affects the other person a lot more. | 但它会影响另一个人更多。 |
| 339 | That's why like really it's important to put yourself in other shoes. | 这就是为什么像真的 这很重要 让自己在其他的鞋子。 |
| 340 | How would you feel if your wife was constantly pushing you away, | 如果你妻子一直把你推开 你会怎么想? |
| 341 | pushing you away for months and months? | 把你推了好几个月? |
| 342 | You'd feel neglected, hated, and not emotionally connected. | 你会觉得被忽略,被憎恨, 也没有感情联系。 |
| 343 | And now even though I technically caught her in these cheating moments, | 而现在,尽管技术上我抓住了她 在这些欺骗的时刻, |
| 344 | I know the way I was going about it was wrong. | 我知道当时我的想法是错误的。 |
| 345 | I just have no idea how to get past this part. | 我只是不知道怎么渡过这一段 |
| 346 | I'm mad that she hasn't actually accepted her fault in these moments. | 我生气她还没有真正接受 她的错在这时刻。 |
| 347 | I know she's just looking for an excuse to not blame herself, | 我知道她只是想找借口不责怪自己 |
| 348 | but I can't stop thinking that this is all my fault. | 但我不能停止认为 这都是我的错。 |
| 349 | It takes two people to do this. | 这需要两个人来做 |
| 350 | So it's your fault, but it's also her fault. | 所以这是你的错,但这也是她的错。 |
| 351 | You neglected her. | 你忽视了她。 |
| 352 | She also went out and found that emotional connection somewhere else. | 她也出去了 在别的地方发现了这种情感联系 |
| 353 | So both people are at fault. | 所以两人都有错 |
| 354 | If I had just listened before, then this wouldn't have happened | 如果我刚才听了,那就不会发生了 |
| 355 | because I know I was miserable to be around and it's something I want to work on. | 因为我知道我在身边很痛苦 我想做点什么 |
| 356 | And it's driving me crazy that I'm acknowledging my fault, | 我承认我的错让我发疯 |
| 357 | but she doesn't even want to give me a chance to fix them. | 但是她甚至不想给我机会去修理它们 |
| 358 | I just have no idea how to accept that and not spend the rest of my life | 我只是不知道如何接受 和不花我的余生 |
| 359 | feeling like I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. | 感觉好像我毁了 发生在我身上的最好的事情 |
| 360 | Yeah, that's one thing. | 是啊,这是一件事。 |
| 361 | If you really feel like you can make it work, bro, | 如果你真的觉得你可以让它工作,兄弟, |
| 362 | never ever stop. | 永远不会停止。 |
| 363 | Never ever stop fighting for what you want. | 永不停止为你想要的而战 |
| 364 | If she's really the best thing that ever happened to you, | 如果她真的是发生在你身上的最好的事情 |
| 365 | show her that by trying to prove, constantly showing that | 告诉她,通过尝试证明,不断显示 |
| 366 | you want to be with her every single day, even when she's not reciprocating, | 你每天都想和她在一起 即使她没有重新来过 |
| 367 | even when she's sad, doesn't want to talk. | 即使她很伤心 也不想说话 |
| 368 | Show her every single day. | 每天都给她看 |
| 369 | You don't have to spam her and overwhelm her. | 你不必把她吐出来 压倒她 |
| 370 | Show through consistency that you want her. | 通过一致性显示你想要她。 |
| 371 | Let's read some of the comments. | 我们来读读一些评论吧 |
| 372 | Whenever WP says they want space, what they are really saying is that | 每当WP说他们想要空间, 他们真正说的是 |
| 373 | they want time to try out their new relationship with AP. | 他们需要时间去尝试他们和AP的新关系. |
| 374 | The only reason they haven't left you for him is because | 他们没把你留给他的唯一原因是 |
| 375 | she is using you as a backup in case things don't work out with him. | 她利用你作为后援 以防事情对他不利 |
| 376 | You can't fix yourself in such a scenario. | 在这样的情景下,你无法修复自己. |
| 377 | If there's things you want to improve about yourself, | 如果你想改善自己 |
| 378 | you need to do so without her so you're a better partner for the next one. | 没有她你就得这么做 这样你就能成为下一个更好的搭档了 |
| 379 | Someone replied, | 有人回答说 |
| 380 | I want space is a hundred percent code for I want to go fuck around | 我要空间是百分之百的密码 我要到处乱搞 |
| 381 | and see if it's better out there and run back if it isn't. | 看看外面是不是更好 跑回来,如果不是。 |
| 382 | Trust me, I don't know much, but this one I'll bet my life on. | 相信我,我不知道多少, 但这个我敢打赌我的生活。 |
| 383 | Yeah, yeah, I can see that. | 是的,是的,我看得出来。 |
| 384 | A lot of the times people say I want space instead of we're done | 很多人说我想要空间 而不是我们玩完了 |
| 385 | because they want like something to fall back on | 因为他们想要的东西 回到 |
| 386 | because they don't know if the new relationship | 因为他们不知道新的关系 |
| 387 | or something else is out there that's better. | 或者别的东西 在那里更好。 |
| 388 | Oftentimes people think the grass is greener on the other side, but it's not. | 人们往往认为另一边的草更绿,但并不绿. |
| 389 | And they want something to fall back on, | 他们想要的东西 回到, |
| 390 | something that they know and are comfortable with before they go out and try again. | 在他们出去再试之前 他们知道并且很舒服的东西 |
| 391 | And you never want to be a backup option. | 你从不想做后备 |
| 392 | That is terrible, terrible. | 这是可怕的,可怕的。 |
| 393 | Happen to me and when your car breaks down or something, | 发生在我身上 当你的车坏了什么的, |
| 394 | they take advantage and do whatever they want. | 他们利用优势 做他们想要的。 |
| 395 | Fuck all that, can't even go to work without wondering what she is doing. | 他妈的,甚至不能去上班 不想知道她在做什么。 |
| 396 | OP replied she used the excuse that she has to work through her emotions | OP回答说,她用一个借口 她必须工作 通过她的情绪 |
| 397 | and can't find the energy to work on us at the time. | 也找不到我们当时的能量 |
| 398 | There was a small moment where it felt like it was getting better because of the space. | 有一小段时间,它觉得由于空间而变得更好。 |
| 399 | She has some family shit happening at the same time, which has contributed to it as well. | 她有一些家庭狗屎 发生在同一时间, 这也作出了贡献。 |
| 400 | But this time away has just been for her to one, completely ignore me and two, still go to him. | 但这次她只差一个,完全忽略我和两个, 仍然去他那里。 |
| 401 | So we have an update. | 所以,我们有一个更新。 |
| 402 | So let's read that. | 故当诵此经. |
| 403 | Update. | 更新。 |
| 404 | I received a lot of helpful messages and comments and wanted to give an update on the situation. | 我收到了许多有益的信息和评论,并想提供最新情况。 |
| 405 | Last time I posted was the day after our first therapy session | 上次我发布是第一次治疗后的第二天 |
| 406 | where she weaponized my reactions as a reason for why she wants to end this. | 她把我的反应武器化 成为她想要结束这一切的原因 |
| 407 | We ended the session with an agreement of no contact until the next session. | 在本届会议结束时,我们直到下届会议才同意进行接触。 |
| 408 | I spent the next day grieving the loss of my relationship. | 第二天我为失去关系而悲伤 |
| 409 | Later that afternoon, she visited our home while I was at work and rehung all of the photos. | 那天下午晚些时候,她在我上班的时候 参观了我们的家 并重新整理了所有的照片 |
| 410 | She then sent a follow up email asking when the next session would be | 然后她发了一封后续邮件 问下届是什么时候 |
| 411 | and she's excited to get to work. | 她很兴奋能上班 |
| 412 | I confronted her and asked her WTF is going on since she said she wanted to end things. | 我面对她,问她WTF正在进行,因为她说她想结束一切。 |
| 413 | She said she spent the day thinking of us and thought the session ended with the agreement | 她说她花了一天时间想我们 以为会议以协议告终 |
| 414 | that things could be fixed. | 事情可以解决。 |
| 415 | I was of course entirely fucked up. | 我当然是完全搞砸了。 |
| 416 | I had just spent the entire day crying and trying to accept that I can't control this. | 我花了一整天哭 试图接受 我不能控制这一点。 |
| 417 | So after we spoke, I was left with a glimmer of hope that maybe she finally saw the light | 我们说话后,我带着一线希望 也许她终于看到了光 |
| 418 | and things would work out. | 事情会解决的 |
| 419 | I'm gonna guess this is another push and pull. | 我想这是另一个推拉。 |
| 420 | She's giving you hope just to take that shit away. | 她给了你希望 只是把那狗屎带走。 |
| 421 | Oh, all capitals. | 哦,所有的首都。 |
| 422 | Well, that was fucking wrong. | 嗯,这是他妈的错误的。 |
| 423 | I spent the weekend listening to everyone and realized that I can't be so blind to her actions. | 我花了一个周末 听每个人 并意识到我不能如此盲目 她的行为。 |
| 424 | While I was planning to go to the next session with the intent to try and work on us, | 我打算去参加下次会议 以尝试和工作我们, |
| 425 | I wasn't able to walk in and do the pick me dance anymore. | 我无法走进来 做我的舞蹈了。 |
| 426 | Well, she showed me this morning that she was full of shit. | 嗯,她给我看今天上午 她充满了狗屎。 |
| 427 | I'm not proud of it, but I decided to camp out one more time this morning | 我并不为此骄傲 但我今早决定再露营一次 |
| 428 | and see how she got to work. | 看看她是怎么工作的 |
| 429 | Low and behold, caught her in his truck once again. | 低头,又在卡车上抓住了她 |
| 430 | Looking through the call records on our cell phone plan, | 看看手机计划中的通话记录 |
| 431 | she probably called him right after hanging all of the pictures back up. | 她大概在把所有的照片都挂起来后就打电话给他 |
| 432 | I'm done. | 我受够了 |
| 433 | Any ounce of hope that this could work is gone. | 任何一盎司的希望 它可以工作,已经消失。 |
| 434 | She's the exact person all of you said she was and I don't deserve to deal with this. | 你们都说她就是她 我不配处理这事 |
| 435 | While I may have been a poor husband at times, | 虽然我有时候是个可怜的丈夫 |
| 436 | I never made the deliberate decision to hurt her. | 我从来没有故意决定伤害她 |
| 437 | Meanwhile, she's done nothing but string me along since she killed our marriage. | 自从她杀了我们的婚姻后 她就一直缠着我 |
| 438 | I'm not gonna say camping out and stalking someone is a good idea, | 我不会说露营跟跟踪是好主意 |
| 439 | but I'm glad that helped him realize that he needs to cut it off, | 但我很高兴这帮助他意识到 他需要切断它, |
| 440 | move on and see that she's a liar. | 继续看她是个骗子 |
| 441 | She's a liar, cheater, manipulator, like. | 她是个骗子 骗子 操纵者 |
| 442 | Okay, last story of the day. | 好吧,最后的故事的一天。 |
| 443 | Wife's AP passed away suddenly. | 妻子的AP突然过世. |
| 444 | It's been a year since Discovery Day and it's been a rocky road since. | 揭秘日落一年,自此成岩路. |
| 445 | However, today a weight was lifted from me. | 然而,今天,我的体重被解除。 |
| 446 | Her AP passed away suddenly. | 她的AP突然过世了. |
| 447 | I know she had feelings for him still, | 我知道她对他还有感情 |
| 448 | but we've been working on things since it all went down. | 但是我们一直在做一些事情 自从这一切结束。 |
| 449 | It's natural to be saddened by it, but I can't help but be upset by her reaction. | 自然感到悲伤,但因她的反应而心烦意乱. |
| 450 | I'm doing my best to be supportive and understanding. | 我尽力支持和理解 |
| 451 | While really I want her to get over it, I'm here, I'm putting in the work for us. | 虽然我真的希望她克服这一切, 我在这里,我把工作 为我们。 |
| 452 | I'm not trying to dismiss her feelings, | 我不是想贬低她的感情 |
| 453 | but I can't help but feel upset by her reaction. | 但我不禁为她的反应而难过 |
| 454 | It's pretty natural because it's probably like jealousy. | 这很自然,因为它可能像嫉妒。 |
| 455 | You're jealous that your wife still cares about her affair partner | 你嫉妒你老婆还在乎她的情侣 |
| 456 | that almost tore your marriage apart and while you're trying to fix it, | 几乎撕裂你的婚姻 当你试图修复它, |
| 457 | suddenly and sadly passed away and now she's grieving him | 突然伤心地去世了 现在她为他难过 |
| 458 | instead of like focusing on repairing your relationship. | 而不是专注于修复你的关系。 |
| 459 | Jealousy and still like resentment that yeah, | 嫉妒和仍然喜欢怨恨 是的, |
| 460 | it's sad that someone died and passed away. | 有人死后去世了,这太可悲了 |
| 461 | I guess he's mad at her reaction for her reaction being so like intense. | 我猜他很生气 她的反应如此强烈。 |
| 462 | And I could understand that. | 我能理解这一点。 |
| 463 | I don't know what to say to her besides a harsh forget that dude. | 我不知道除了一个刻薄的忘了那个家伙外 还能跟她说什么 |
| 464 | I'm the one that's here still through all of this. | 我是一个仍然在这里 通过这一切。 |
| 465 | I guess I'm just venting, but God am I frustrated. | 我想我只是泄气 但上帝让我很沮丧 |
| 466 | Top comment. | 顶端评论. |
| 467 | The AP is deceased and your wife is still penning for him. | AP死了,你的妻子还在为他辩护 |
| 468 | Why are you still with this person? | 你为什么还和这个人在一起? |
| 469 | OP replied because I'm not a smart man. | OP回答是因为我不是聪明人. |
| 470 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 471 | Someone replied. | 有人回答说 |
| 472 | From your previous post and this post, it was multiple men, not just one. | 从你之前的帖子和这个帖子来看,是多个男人,不只是一个人. |
| 473 | It happened multiple times. | 它发生多次。 |
| 474 | She only told you because the wife of the AP found out. | 她告诉你是因为AP的妻子发现了 |
| 475 | She allowed slash made you feel like it was your fault. | 她允许割伤 让你觉得那是你的错 |
| 476 | Her commitment to reconciliation was really rug sweeping. | 她对和解的承诺非常粗略。 |
| 477 | She still has feelings for the AP even if he passed away | 就算他去世了 她还是对AP有感情 |
| 478 | and those feelings will not magically disappear. | 这些感情不会神奇地消失 |
| 479 | There was a chance her affair was still going on. | 她的外遇有可能还在继续 |
| 480 | They were just better at hiding it. | 他们只是更好 隐藏它。 |
| 481 | There is a decent chance her affair with him turned physical. | 很有可能她和他的关系会变成肉体的 |
| 482 | There is no guarantee she isn't having an affair | 不能保证她没有外遇 |
| 483 | with someone else now given her history. | 和别人,现在给她的历史。 |
| 484 | You should not feel relieved. | 你不应该感到宽慰。 |
| 485 | You should feel completely pissed off. | 你应该觉得很生气 |
| 486 | She would have never told you if she wasn't caught. | 如果她没被抓 她就不会告诉你 |
| 487 | She still has feelings for him even in death. | 她仍然对他有感觉 即使死。 |
| 488 | So she could easily left you for him if there weren't logistical barriers, | 所以如果没有后勤障碍 她可以轻易离开你 |
| 489 | i.e. | 即说. |
| 490 | children and both of them being married. | 孩子们和他们都结婚了。 |
| 491 | Finally, her feelings for him may have been | 最后,她对他的感觉可能是 |
| 492 | what discouraged her from finding another AP. | 是什么让她无法找到另一个AP。 |
| 493 | She may have still not wanted to betray him | 她可能还是不想背叛他 |
| 494 | in case things changed and she could be with him. | 以防事情变了 她可能和他在一起 |
| 495 | Someone replied damn OP you need to bounce man. | 有人回应了该死的行动,你需要反弹 |
| 496 | I know that's easy for me to type but ffs man have some self-respect. | 我知道打字很方便 但男人有自尊 |
| 497 | Based on this information there's a 100% chance | 根据这个信息,百分之百的机会 |
| 498 | she will cheat again in the future. | 她将来还会再作弊 |
| 499 | What she did before was not your fault but everything that happens | 她以前所做的不是你的错 而是一切发生的 |
| 500 | from this point forward will be your fault | 从这个角度来说,都是你的错 |
| 501 | because you stayed with someone who doesn't give half a fuck about you. | 因为你和不关心你的人在一起 |
| 502 | Necessary Tap replied to say you forgive someone | 有必要的Tap回答说 你原谅某人 |
| 503 | who cheated and emotionally abused you is easy. | 欺骗和情感虐待你的人很容易 |
| 504 | To actually fully forgive them is nearly impossible. | 完全原谅他们几乎是不可能的。 |
| 505 | To fully trust them again is impossible. | 再次完全信任他们是不可能的。 |
| 506 | Despite feeling safer now that he has passed away | 尽管现在他已经去世了 感觉还是比较安全 |
| 507 | you will still never fully trust her again. | 你永远也不会完全相信她了 |
| 508 | It is not an impossibility that she will cheat again. | 她不可能再出轨了 |
| 509 | She is willing to prioritize the old AP still by having feelings for him | 她愿意通过对他有感情来优先处理旧AP |
| 510 | instead of fully embracing reconciliation. | 而不是完全接受和解。 |
| 511 | She is not 100% remorseful of the affair | 她不是百分之百的悔过自新 |
| 512 | because she wasn't able to be disgusted of her actions | 因为她不能对自己的行为感到厌恶 |
| 513 | every time she thought of him. | 每次她想到他的时候 |
| 514 | Last Reply | 上次回复 |
| 515 | And you should be pissed she wants you to feel bad for her | 你应该生气 她希望你为她难过 |
| 516 | she's hurting over someone dying. | 她因为有人死了而受伤 |
| 517 | I'm not being insensitive here because that someone is a person | 我不是因为某人是人而麻木不仁 |
| 518 | she was giving love and attention and time to | 她给了爱和关注 和时间 |
| 519 | that she was supposed to obligated to vow to promise to give to you. | 她必须发誓答应给你 |
| 520 | I know this intimately. | 我知道这一点。 |
| 521 | The exact same thing happened to me. | 我身上也发生了同样的事情 |
| 522 | My husband's friend died suddenly | 我丈夫的朋友突然间去世了 |
| 523 | and he wanted me to let him grieve and feel bad for him. | 他想我让他为他难过和难过 |
| 524 | Fuck him. | 他妈的他。 |
| 525 | He confided in her. | 他向她坦白过 |
| 526 | He talked to her. | 他和她谈过了 |
| 527 | He spent time, money, love, feeling, emotions with her. | 他花时间,金钱,爱,感觉,情感和她在一起. |
| 528 | All of that belonged to me, to our family. | 所有这一切都属于我,属于我们的家庭。 |
| 529 | How dare he expect me to give that to him? | 他怎么敢指望我把这个给他? |
| 530 | And I don't for one second believe that they were not physically involved. | 我从不认为他们与身体无关 |
| 531 | He denied, denied, denied everything. | 他否认、否认、否认一切。 |
| 532 | Gaslighting was his specialty. | 燃气是他的专长 |
| 533 | I owed him not one second of his feelings for her. | 我欠他一秒钟 他对她的感觉。 |
| 534 | OP, you don't owe your wife anything | OP,你不欠你老婆任何东西 |
| 535 | and she will cheat again and lie again | 她又会骗人又撒谎 |
| 536 | and she will blame you for not trusting her. | 她会责怪你不信任她 |
| 537 | It's what they do. | 这是他们做的。 |
| 538 | They break your trust in the absolute worst way possible. | 他们以最坏的方式打破你的信任 |
| 539 | Then blame you for your feelings. | 那就责怪你的感情 |
| 540 | They can't for one second try and put themselves in your shoes | 他们不能在一秒钟 尝试并把自己在你的鞋子 |
| 541 | because they would have to see what absolute shit people they are to us. | 因为他们会看到什么狗屎人 他们对我们。 |
| 542 | You'll never fully trust me then cry about it and blame you for it | 你永远也不会完全信任我 然后哭着责怪你 |
| 543 | but can't for one second realize it was them that caused it. | 但不能一秒钟 意识到是他们造成的。 |
| 544 | Her AP may have died but her feelings for him never will | 她的AP可能死了 但她对他的感觉永远不会 |
| 545 | and now you will always be second to that. | 现在你永远是第二。 |
| 546 | Yeah, I think they're right. | 是的,我认为他们是对的。 |
| 547 | If a person cheats once, they can cheat again. | 如果一个人作弊一次,他们可以再次作弊. |
| 548 | Just because he passed away in this specific case | 就因为他在这个具体案件中去世了 |
| 549 | doesn't mean she will never cheat again. | 不代表她再也不会出轨了 |
| 550 | Once she's done grieving and all this | 一旦她做了悲伤和这一切 |
| 551 | she's just gonna go find another man, cheat again and follow the same cycle. | 她只是要去寻找另一个男人, 再次欺骗和遵循同样的循环。 |
| 552 | So if someone cheats and really shows you who they are, | 所以,如果有人作弊 并真正显示你 他们是谁, |
| 553 | believe it because they're showing you who they are. | 相信吧,因为他们要告诉你他们是谁 |
| 554 | Don't believe what they tell you or what they say. | 不要相信他们告诉你什么或说什么。 |
| 555 | Look at their actions and if that's what their actions say then just move on. | 看看他们的行为 如果他们的行为是这么说的 那就继续前进 |
| 556 | It's not worth staying and trying to fix this type of relationship. | 这不值得留下来和尝试 修复这种类型的关系。 |
| 557 | Just move on. | 继续前进 |
| 558 | Let me know what you guys thought of these stories | 告诉我你们对这些故事的看法 |
| 559 | and what like topics you prefer. | 以及你喜欢的话题 |
| 560 | Do you prefer like cheating and infidelity | 难道你喜欢欺骗和不忠吗? |
| 561 | or like am I the eight hole stories or like scary stories or something? | 还是我像8个洞的故事 或者像恐怖的故事什么的? |
| 562 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 563 | Whatever topics you want, let me know in the comments | 无论你想要什么话题,请在评论中告诉我 |
| 564 | what you want to see more of in the future. | 将来你想看到的更多 |
| 565 | I'll see you guys in the next video. | 下段录像见 |
| 566 | Bye bye. | 再见 |
该视频共有字幕 566 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格