社死：我竟然把牛排扔到了老板家的窗户上
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Welcome back to new video everyone today we're reading more of the best reddit stories ever posted on reddit today's story | 欢迎回到新录影带 今天大家收看的 更多最优秀的编辑故事 |
| 0:08 | Did I fuck up by throwing my steak out a window? | 我把牛排扔出窗外是不是搞砸了? |
| 0:12 | I've never read this but people said it's hilarious | 我从来没有读过这个 但人们说这很有趣 |
| 0:14 | It's funny and i'm not really sure what to expect, but let's read it find out together | 这很有趣,我不确定该期待什么, 但是让我们一起读一下 |
| 0:19 | So without further ado, let's get started last night | 所以,不做更多, 让我们开始昨晚 |
| 0:22 | My wife's boss from her brand new job invited us over for dinner on the drive over | 我妻子的老板从她的新工作邀请我们过来吃饭 在开车过来。 |
| 0:27 | My wife reiterated many times to me just how important it was to make to make a good impression | 我妻子多次向我重申 要给人留下好印象有多重要 |
| 0:33 | I scoffed and arrogantly informed my silly wife that I always make good impressions. | 我嘲笑并傲慢地告诉我的傻老婆 我总是给人留下好印象 |
| 0:39 | Okay, you sure about that? | 好吧,你确定吗? |
| 0:42 | You sure about that? | 你确定吗? |
展开字幕全文（400 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Welcome back to new video everyone today we're reading more of the best reddit stories ever posted on reddit today's story | 欢迎回到新录影带 今天大家收看的 更多最优秀的编辑故事 |
| 2 | Did I fuck up by throwing my steak out a window? | 我把牛排扔出窗外是不是搞砸了? |
| 3 | I've never read this but people said it's hilarious | 我从来没有读过这个 但人们说这很有趣 |
| 4 | It's funny and i'm not really sure what to expect, but let's read it find out together | 这很有趣,我不确定该期待什么, 但是让我们一起读一下 |
| 5 | So without further ado, let's get started last night | 所以,不做更多, 让我们开始昨晚 |
| 6 | My wife's boss from her brand new job invited us over for dinner on the drive over | 我妻子的老板从她的新工作邀请我们过来吃饭 在开车过来。 |
| 7 | My wife reiterated many times to me just how important it was to make to make a good impression | 我妻子多次向我重申 要给人留下好印象有多重要 |
| 8 | I scoffed and arrogantly informed my silly wife that I always make good impressions. | 我嘲笑并傲慢地告诉我的傻老婆 我总是给人留下好印象 |
| 9 | Okay, you sure about that? | 好吧,你确定吗? |
| 10 | You sure about that? | 你确定吗? |
| 11 | Okay | 还好 |
| 12 | by the title no, because who | 因为谁 |
| 13 | Who throws a steak out a window? | 谁把牛排扔出窗外? |
| 14 | I don't know what happened to the steak me personally | 我不知道我个人的牛排怎么了 |
| 15 | I'm not the biggest fan of steak. | 我不是牛排的最大粉丝。 |
| 16 | I know I know everyone loves steak | 我知道大家都喜欢牛排 |
| 17 | Everyone's like oh steak this steak that like there's literally steak houses steak is so expensive. | 每个人都喜欢哦牛排 这牛排像有 牛排的房子牛排是如此昂贵。 |
| 18 | I don't like steak, dude | 我不喜欢牛排,伙计 |
| 19 | I I I just don't like steak. | 我只是不喜欢牛排 |
| 20 | It's it's not my thing | 这不是我的事 |
| 21 | It just doesn't taste good for me. | 对我不好 |
| 22 | Like really it just has like maybe I just haven't had a good steak | 就像真的 它只是像 也许我只是没有 有一个好牛排 |
| 23 | But i've had good pieces of steak. | 但我吃过牛排 |
| 24 | I've had a5 wagyu and kobe japan. | 我吃过5个瓦吉尤和科贝・雅潘 |
| 25 | That's like where wagyu comes from | 这就像Wagyu来自哪里 |
| 26 | It was okay. | 没事的 |
| 27 | Like it wasn't anything like whoa, everyone hyped it up so much when I had it | 好像它不是像哇, 每个人在有它的时候, 都这么高喊它 |
| 28 | It felt like really like it was underwhelming. | 感觉好像在下沉 |
| 29 | It was like this is overrated. | 简直是高估了 |
| 30 | Uh, | 额... |
| 31 | Don't hate me don't hate me. | 别恨我 别恨我 |
| 32 | That's just my opinion | 这就是我的看法 |
| 33 | Maybe I went to a wrong place | 也许我去错地方了 |
| 34 | But it had really good ratings and it was highly highly rated and it was like everything was super nice | 但是它有非常好的收视率,它被高度评价, 它就像一切都是超级好 |
| 35 | It was for my birthday. | 这是为我的生日。 |
| 36 | My mom brought me there because we were in japan together | 我妈妈把我带到那里,因为我们一起在日本 |
| 37 | We had the meat we took the pictures and everything everything looks super nice | 我们有肉,我们拍了照片, 一切都看起来非常好。 |
| 38 | But uh, I think just steak and that type of meat is not really my thing | 但是,呃,我觉得只是牛排和那种肉 不是我的真正东西 |
| 39 | I mean if you like fatty meat, okay | 如果你喜欢肥肉,好吧 |
| 40 | I think I prefer like stuff with like just a lot of flavor and spices | 我觉得我喜欢喜欢的东西 喜欢很多的口味和香料 |
| 41 | I don't just like eating like meat | 我不喜欢吃肉 |
| 42 | I know steak has like butter and like herbs and all this stuff, but it's not my thing | 我知道牛排有像黄油 和草药之类的东西 但不是我的事 |
| 43 | My wife's boss is a single lady in her 50s | 我老婆的老板是五十多岁的单身女士 |
| 44 | So it was just the three of us | 所以只有我们三个人 |
| 45 | We chit chatted over drinks and salads and seemed to really be hitting it off | 我们聊了一下酒和沙拉 似乎真的很爽 |
| 46 | She laughed at my well-timed perfectly appropriate jokes and my wife seemed pleased | 她嘲笑我时机成熟的笑话 我妻子似乎很高兴 |
| 47 | Soon she brought out the main course a nice big juicy steak for each of us as I began to cut into my steak | 很快她给主菜带了一大块多汁的牛排 给我们每个人 当我开始切进我的牛排时 |
| 48 | I was discouraged to discover how under cooked this steak was if I do ever get steak medium rare | 我很沮丧地发现这牛排的烹饪如何... ... 如果我真的有牛排 中稀有 |
| 49 | I don't like that thing cooked till it's like killed twice man. | 我不喜欢那东西被煮熟 直到它像杀死两次的人。 |
| 50 | It doesn't need to die twice | 不需要死两次 |
| 51 | Once is enough cook it again medium rare, please now i've had my fair share of rare steak | 再煮一次就足够了 中等稀有了 现在我有我那份稀有牛排了 |
| 52 | I prefer medium but I can handle rare this was several minutes on a hawk grill short of rare | 我更喜欢中号 但我能处理稀有 这是在鹰的烤架上几分钟 短短的稀有 |
| 53 | I probably could have resuscitated the cow had I tried and instead I sat there fidgeting with my knife and fork | 我可能已经恢复了牛 如果我尝试了,而我坐在那里... ... |
| 54 | For worrying about how I was going to get away with not eating this steak | 担心自己不吃牛排会怎么逃 |
| 55 | Claim veganism. | 主张素食主义. |
| 56 | No, i'd already feigned great enthusiasm upon seeing the steak | 不,我看到牛排时 已经满腔热情了 |
| 57 | Just then our hostess excused herself to the kitchen to take care of some dessert preparations | 刚才我们的女主人去厨房 准备点甜点 |
| 58 | As I looked across the fancy dining room table at the open window of this third story apartment a cartoon light bulb | 当我在第三层公寓的 开阔的窗户对面的豪华餐厅桌边 看着一个卡通灯泡 |
| 59 | Appeared over my head. | 我头顶上 |
| 60 | I knew I had to be decisive | 我知道我必须果断 |
| 61 | Realizing that she could return at any moment. | 意识到她随时会回来 |
| 62 | I committed I grabbed the steak with my hand | 我承诺用手抓牛排 |
| 63 | Gently shook off the juice and executed a perfect throw right through the center of the open window | 轻轻摇动果汁 并完成了一个完美的 扔在打开的窗户中央 |
| 64 | Bro, this this shit is hilarious, dude. | 兄弟,这太好笑了,伙计 |
| 65 | Here's the big time f up the window wasn't open | 窗子没开着 |
| 66 | Oh my god, dude | 哦,我的上帝,伙计 |
| 67 | Dude, ain't no way dude. | 哥们儿,这不可能 |
| 68 | Ain't no way. | 没办法。 |
| 69 | It was the cleanest freaking window you've ever seen in your life | 这是你这辈子见过的最干净的窗户 |
| 70 | That is until my mostly raw | 直到我生下来 |
| 71 | Slap of steak slammed slammed up against it and slowly sit down slowly slid down | 牛排的一拍就撞上去 慢慢地坐着慢慢地滑下来 |
| 72 | Leaving a trail of bloody juice in its wake | 留下一股血腥的果汁在它的后面 |
| 73 | Oh my god, dude | 哦,我的上帝,伙计 |
| 74 | If I was like the hostess and I came back and I just saw | 如果我像女主人 我回来,我只是看到 |
| 75 | The steak I cooked just sliding down the window. | 我煮的牛排从窗户滑下来 |
| 76 | I would lowkey just find that like kind of funny | 我只会低调地觉得这很有趣 |
| 77 | I would I would look at the guy and I would be like the fuck like you good. | 我会看着他,我会像你一样 |
| 78 | He's like, yeah | 他喜欢,是的 |
| 79 | That shit was like that shit was still alive. | 那狗屎就像那狗屎 还活着。 |
| 80 | My bad, bro. | 我的错,兄弟。 |
| 81 | It was so raw. | 它是如此原始。 |
| 82 | I didn't want to eat it | 我不想吃这个 |
| 83 | I'm like so you decided to just instead of asking to cook it more to a fucking throat | 我就像你决定 而不是要求把它煮到喉咙里 |
| 84 | At my clean window my wife's whose steak was a nice medium rare and was unaware of my predicament turned | 在我干净的窗户上 我妻子的牛排是相当少见的 却不知道我的处境 |
| 85 | Jaw dropped and stared at me like I was an alien | 大Jaw像外星人一样朝我扔下去 |
| 86 | From another planet this looked then slowly morphed into more of a there is no place on this planet | 从另一个星球上看,它慢慢地变成 地球上没有地方了 |
| 87 | You can ever hide from the expression of demonic anger. | 你可以躲过恶魔愤怒的表达 |
| 88 | My wife's boss heard the thought | 我老婆的老板听到了这个想法 |
| 89 | Of the steak on window impact and came quickly | 牛排在窗边撞了一下 很快就来了 |
| 90 | She took in the scene the steak sitting on the windowsill the blood trail my empty plate and then gave me an inquisitive puzzle look | 她把坐在窗台上的牛排 放在血迹上 我空盘子上 然后给我一个好奇的谜题 |
| 91 | I just didn't know what to say. | 我只是不知道该说什么 |
| 92 | It felt like a minute of silence | 感觉就像静默一分钟 |
| 93 | But was probably three or four seconds. | 但大概是三四秒钟 |
| 94 | Finally. | 终于 |
| 95 | The best I could manage was i'm sorry. | 我最好的办法就是对不起 |
| 96 | I'm such a klutz | 我真是个笨蛋 |
| 97 | I didn't know I was just cutting it and it slipped just ask my wife. | 我不知道我只是剪了它, 它滑了只是问我的妻子。 |
| 98 | I really am a klutz right honey | 我真的是个笨蛋,亲爱的 |
| 99 | No help coming from that direction. | 没有帮助从那个方向来。 |
| 100 | I'll clean this up. | 我来收拾 |
| 101 | I can't believe this. | 我简直不敢相信 |
| 102 | I'm so sorry, etc, etc | 对不起,等等,等等 |
| 103 | most women continue to stare at me like I had escaped from the looney bin as I | 大多数女人继续盯着我 就像我从厕所逃出来一样 |
| 104 | As I smeared the blood around the window with my cloth napkin dust it off the steak and continued to mutter my incoherent explanation | 当我用我的布巾把血涂在窗边时 它从牛排上抹掉 继续轻声地说出我前后不一的解释 |
| 105 | I knew no one was behind this | 我知道没人在幕后操纵 |
| 106 | Dude, it's so funny | 伙计,这太好笑了 |
| 107 | I knew what I had to do or sheepishly returned to my seat | 我知道我该做什么 或者羊群回到我的座位上 |
| 108 | And proceeded to eat every bite of that disgusting cold chewy bloody raw steak | 并开始吃每咬 恶心的冷嚼 血腥的生牛排 |
| 109 | I remained pretty quiet the rest of the evening evening | 晚上我一直很安静 |
| 110 | My wife's only two words to me since the incident are | 我妻子对我只说了两句话 |
| 111 | I'm fine. | 我没事 |
| 112 | Honestly, if you had to eat it in the end anyways | 老实说,如果你总要吃的话 |
| 113 | You might as well have just sucked it up and ate it and not embarrass your wife | 你还是把它吸了吃 别让你老婆难堪 |
| 114 | TLDR tried distinctly throw my undercooked steak through an open window only to find out it wasn't open | TLDR试图把我煮熟的牛排 扔进一个开着的窗户里 只为了发现它不开 |
| 115 | Thanks kind redditors update just got the first post on find communication from my wife via text | 谢天谢地 最新消息刚收到我妻子通过短信 发来的第一篇文章 |
| 116 | Who is at work good news boss's name and I just had a good laugh over how much of a fucking idiot you are | 谁在工作 好消息老板的名字, 我只是有一个很好笑 你有多少他妈的白痴 |
| 117 | I hope you know, you will never live this down. | 我希望你知道, 你永远不会活下来。 |
| 118 | Love you. | 我爱你 |
| 119 | You moron. | 你这个白痴 |
| 120 | Honestly, I feel like I would just find that hilarious, dude | 老实说,我觉得我会找到 好笑的,伙计 |
| 121 | I would just find it hilarious and you're right. | 我会觉得这很有趣 而你是对的 |
| 122 | I would never let him live it down | 我不会让他活下来的 |
| 123 | I guess it's a good way for the your wife and boss to bond over like your stupidity | 我想这是你老婆和老板的好办法 就像你的愚蠢一样 |
| 124 | Oh fuck this is really giving me similar vibes to a previous story | 哦,他妈的这真的给我 类似的气氛之前的故事 |
| 125 | I read this guy that tried to impress his interviewers by chugging a bottle of hot sauce. | 我读到一个家伙试图通过灌一瓶热酱来打动他的采访者. |
| 126 | Oh | 瓳 |
| 127 | Dude, I love funny stories, dude | 伙计,我喜欢搞笑故事,伙计 |
| 128 | If you guys have any funny reddit stories or your own personal stories put them in the comments or | 如果你们有任何有趣的故事 或你自己的个人故事 把它们在评论或 |
| 129 | I'll put my email in the description | 我会把我的邮件 描述 |
| 130 | So you can just email me red stories and i'll read it in a next video if you have a funny story | 所以,你可以给我发邮件 红色的故事,我会读 在下一个视频 如果你有一个有趣的故事 |
| 131 | Now let's read some comments one question op | 现在让我们读一些评论 一个问题行动 |
| 132 | Let's say the window was open and the steak is gone | 假设窗户开着,牛排不见了 |
| 133 | She returns a minute later what you tell her you devoured it and then she finds a weird outdoor steak outside sometime | 她一分钟后回来 你告诉她你吃了它 然后她发现一个奇怪的户外牛排 外面的某个时候 |
| 134 | Or maybe bears no | 或者也许熊没有 |
| 135 | No, the trick is to grab the steak from the yard on your way back to the car and then cook it at home | 不 诀窍是在你回车的路上 从院子里拿牛排 然后在家里煮 |
| 136 | It's times like this when you should just fake a seizure if life taught me anything never take advice from reddit problem | 这时候你应该假装癫痫... ...如果生活教会我... ...什么从不听从 编辑问题的建议 |
| 137 | Is reddit is your life someone else commented? | Reddit是别人评论你的生活吗? |
| 138 | You should have grilled the steak under the pretense that you were killing off any germs | 你应该把牛排烤成烤肉 以你杀死任何细菌的借口 |
| 139 | It might have picked up on the floor. | 可能在地板上捡到的 |
| 140 | That's actually smart. | 这其实很聪明。 |
| 141 | That is smart | 真聪明 |
| 142 | Op replied damn it. | 行动组织回应了 该死的 |
| 143 | That's a good idea now | 这主意不错 |
| 144 | You know exactly what to do next time you encounter a rare steak step one ask yourself | 你很清楚下次遇到难得的牛排步骤时该做什么 问自己 |
| 145 | What is more important your dignity or the chance to eat the steak one of man's finest sustenance to your liking | 更重要的是你的尊严 或吃牛排的机会 这是你最喜欢的食物之一 |
| 146 | If dignity go to step five and stay there if steak good choice proceed to next step drop it by accident | 如果尊严到第五步,待在那里 如果牛排好选择 下一步会意外放弃它 |
| 147 | Hurling and closed window optional step three apologize profusely and feign lack of motor skills | 呼喊和关闭窗口可选步骤三 频繁道歉和假装缺乏运动技能 |
| 148 | Step four wash with cold water and claim it must be recooked to kill the germs and reheat | 第四步用冷水冲洗,并声称必须重新去除,以杀死细菌和重新加热 |
| 149 | Optional if steak not well seasoned in the first place proceed to burst out your portable culinary tool set and ingredients and turn that | 如果牛排不熟的话 可以选择 直接把手提烹饪工具和配料都爆掉 然后转过来 |
| 150 | Sorry piece of shit into divine slab of heavily mouthed feels step five three question marks step six | 对不起,大嘴巴的一块狗屎 感觉第五步,第三步,第六步 |
| 151 | Feed your manhood all you had to do was ask if she could cook it for a little longer | 吃你的男子气概 你要做的就是问她能不能煮久一点 |
| 152 | There's nothing wrong with that at all. | 根本无碍. |
| 153 | But hey look on the bright side | 但是,嘿,看看光明的一面 |
| 154 | You'll have a funny story to tell all your friends for years to come overall | 你会有一个有趣的故事 告诉你所有的朋友 几年来总体 |
| 155 | I think op's iq in that moment was like single digits, dude | 我认为行动在那一刻的 iQ就像一个数字,伙计 |
| 156 | That was that was maybe maybe i'm the only one that found that funny | 也许只有我发现这很有趣 |
| 157 | But I found that hilarious dude. | 但我找到那个搞笑的家伙了 |
| 158 | That was so funny genuinely who just like I need to throw the steak out the window | 真有趣,我需要把牛排扔出窗外 |
| 159 | What like if anything you cut pieces off pretend you didn't but like put it in a napkin or something | 怎么样,如果你切掉什么 假装你没有 只是喜欢把它放在餐巾什么的 |
| 160 | Put it in your pocket then go to the washroom | 放在口袋里,然后去洗手间 |
| 161 | And like I guess probably not throw it out because she'll notice and it'll smell like steak | 好像我猜可能不会把它扔出去 因为她会注意到的 它会闻起来像牛排 |
| 162 | Wrapping it wrap it in more like or on your weight of the washroom fucking throw it out the window then | 把它包起来 更像或放在你 洗手间重物上 |
| 163 | Make sure the window's open | 确保窗户开着 |
| 164 | You know, it's like I don't know | 你知道,这就像我不知道 |
| 165 | I feel like there was a lot more possibilities here than you know throwing it at a crystal clear closed window | 我觉得这里的可能性比你知道的要大得多 把它扔在水晶清澈的封闭窗口上 |
| 166 | But it was funny and i'm glad at the end the wife fucking texted him | 但是这很有趣,我很高兴 最终,妻子他妈的发短信给他 |
| 167 | Let me read that text again. | 让我再读一遍这段文字。 |
| 168 | It was funny good news boss's name | 这是有趣的好消息老板的名字 |
| 169 | And I just had a good laugh over how much of a fucking idiot you are | 而我只是有一个很好的笑 你有多少他妈的白痴 |
| 170 | I hope you know, you will never live this down. | 我希望你知道, 你永远不会活下来。 |
| 171 | Love you. | 我爱你 |
| 172 | You moron. | 你这个白痴 |
| 173 | That's funny. | 这很有趣。 |
| 174 | Now, let's read the wife's pov | 现在,让我们读读她妻子的POV |
| 175 | Did I fuck up by allowing my husband to come to dinner at my boss's house? | 我是不是让我丈夫来我老板家吃饭了? |
| 176 | So this is like a couple years later when people were asking for the wife's pov | 所以这就像几年后 人们要求妻子的保钓 |
| 177 | So I think the original story is like 11 or 12 years later and this is like eight years later | 所以,我认为最初的故事是 像11或12年后, 这就像8年后 |
| 178 | She wrote it later, but it happened like at the same time. | 她后来写了,但事发时也一样. |
| 179 | It's the same story | 是同一个故事 |
| 180 | Just different pov this actually took place a couple of years ago | 只是不同的pov 这实际上发生在几年前 |
| 181 | I had just gotten a brand new job that I was really excited about | 我刚刚得到一份全新的工作,我真的很兴奋 |
| 182 | So I was delighted when my boss who I had been trying to establish a rapport with invited me and my husband over to her | 所以,我很高兴我的老板,我一直试图 建立关系与邀请我和我丈夫到她身边。 |
| 183 | For dinner. | 吃饭 |
| 184 | Well mostly delighted. | 很高兴见到你 |
| 185 | My husband is well, he's the sweetest but he has a history of doing really dumb shit | 我丈夫很好,他是最可爱的 但他有做蠢事的历史 |
| 186 | Because of this I was worried about him coming along by the time the day of the dinner arrived | 因为这个,我担心他来的时候 晚餐的那天到了 |
| 187 | I had become so anxious about it that I actually floated the idea by my boss that I wasn't sure if he would be able to make | 我对这件事很担心 以致于我把老板的想法 浮出水面 |
| 188 | It she was clearly taken aback and responded. | 她显然被带回了,并作出了回应。 |
| 189 | Oh, no, I really hope you can I have a dinner for three all ready to go | 哦,不,我真的希望你能 吃晚饭,三个都准备好了 |
| 190 | Upon seeing her dismayed I reassured her that I was sure he would find a way to be there | 看到她惊慌失措 我向她保证 我相信他会想办法去的 |
| 191 | Not a great plan | 不是个好计划 |
| 192 | Well, we made it over to her apartment on time and things actually started out really well | 我们准时赶到她的公寓 事情真的开始的很好 |
| 193 | It was actually just the three of us which surprised me somewhat | 其实只有我们三个让我有点惊讶 |
| 194 | But made me a little less concerned about my husband as crowds really tend to bring out his unpredictability | 但让我少一点对我丈夫的顾虑 因为人群真的 往往带来他的不可预测性 |
| 195 | No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ○[标]师曰. |
| 196 | Wait, wait, wait, wait | 单单 单单 |
| 197 | I like how the wife knew what her husband's like and it's like fuck it | 我喜欢妻子知道她丈夫是什么样,就像他妈的 |
| 198 | Let's bring him. | 让我们带他。 |
| 199 | It wasn't really completely out of the blue for her | 对她来说,这并非是完全的 |
| 200 | I had just started to finally relax and was a couple bites into a deliciously cooked steak when things took a horrible | 我刚刚开始放松, 和几口咬进一个美味的牛排 当事情变得可怕 |
| 201 | Horrible turn my boss had just stepped into the kitchen to check on dessert | 糟糕的转身 我老板刚进厨房看甜点 |
| 202 | When I noticed something odd out of the corner of my eye | 当我发现我眼睛的角落里有些奇怪的东西 |
| 203 | It was one of those things where you know, something strange is happening in your peripheral | 就是那种东西之一,你知道, 一些奇怪的事情发生在你的外围 |
| 204 | But you're not sure what you have to look over and focus your gaze to really comprehend it | 但你不知道你需要看什么 集中你的目光来真正理解它 |
| 205 | I look over at my husband and see him holding his steak in his hand | 我看着我丈夫,看到他手里拿着牛排 |
| 206 | Hovering it just an inch or two above his plate before I had a chance to fully comprehend what what I was seeing | 在我完全理解我所看到的一切之前 把它压在他盘子上方一两英寸 |
| 207 | And verbalize something that might have saved all of us from the coming horror. | 并说出一些可能拯救我们所有人 免于未来恐怖的东西 |
| 208 | He threw his steak | 他扔牛排来了 |
| 209 | Baseball style across the room straight at the dining room window | 在餐厅窗户对面的棒球风格 |
| 210 | It hit the window making a loud noise and slowly slid down now. | 它撞到了窗户,发出响亮的噪音,然后慢慢滑下来。 |
| 211 | My husband does dumb shit | 我丈夫做哑巴 |
| 212 | I already told you that but he's not a crazy person. | 我已经告诉你了 但他不是疯子 |
| 213 | Usually he does dumb shit. | 通常他做蠢货。 |
| 214 | I at least understand what he's thinking | 我至少能理解他的想法,他现在在想什么? |
| 215 | There's usually some semblance of rhyme or reason to the dumb shit | 通常有 韵律的相似 或理由的哑狗屎 |
| 216 | In this case, I was just dumbfounded. | 在这种情况下,我只是愚蠢。 |
| 217 | I couldn't believe my eyes. | 我简直不敢相信我的眼睛。 |
| 218 | I couldn't wrap my hand around what was going on | 我无法把我的手围住到底发生了什么 |
| 219 | I stared at him with what must have been the most confused look and watched as he stared back at me that expression of utter horror | 我盯着他看 一定是最困惑的表情 看着他看着我 |
| 220 | Painted across his face. | 画在他的脸上。 |
| 221 | I couldn't make any sense of what was happening and I also didn't have time to try | 我无法理解发生了什么 我也没有时间去尝试 |
| 222 | I heard the footsteps of my boss coming to see what the sound was | 我听到我老板的脚步声来看声音 |
| 223 | It suddenly sunk in that it didn't matter why he did what he did | 突然间沉没了,不管他为什么要这么做 |
| 224 | He did it and we were all about to come face to face with a very awkward situation | 他做到了 我们正要面对一个非常尴尬的情况 |
| 225 | I could feel the anger flush through my face for a brief moment | 我能感觉到愤怒冲进我脸上 |
| 226 | I contemplated trying to help my husband get out of this but no this was his dumb shit bed and he could lie in it | 我考虑过要帮我丈夫摆脱这一切 但这不是他的烂床 他可以躺在床上 |
| 227 | Not like there was any possible recovery anyway | 反正也不可能恢复过来 |
| 228 | My boss walks in and sees the steak lying on the window sill | 我老板走进来看到牛排躺在窗台上 |
| 229 | There's the fucking longest most awkward pause where we all just sit there frozen | 有他妈的最长 最尴尬的停顿 我们只是坐在那里冷冻 |
| 230 | My boss and I are staring at my husband forcing the ball onto his court as the cringe just hangs in the air | 我和上司正盯着我丈夫 逼着球到他的球场上 当吊骨挂在空中时 |
| 231 | Like an ocean fog | 像大雾一样 |
| 232 | He finally manages to mutter some incoherent garbage about being a klutz and even try to get me to back him up | 他终于把一些不协调的垃圾 说成是傻瓜,甚至试图让我支持他 |
| 233 | I leave his ass out to dry in the deafening silence | 我离开他的屁股干 在震耳欲聋的沉默 |
| 234 | He makes a poor attempt at cleaning the window and retrieves his steak | 他试图打扫窗户 拿回牛排 |
| 235 | Mercifully, my boss asked me a question about work and we both dive eagerly into conversation | 恕我直言,我老板问了我一个关于工作的问题 我们两个都急着去谈 |
| 236 | We had the husband's pov now we have the wife's I need the boss's pov | 我们现在有丈夫的保镖了 妻子的保镖了 我需要老板的保镖 |
| 237 | I feel like that would like complete the trilogy. | 我觉得这可以完成三部曲 |
| 238 | Oh, that would be amazing | 哦,这将是惊人的 |
| 239 | We all resume the rest of the evening pretending that he isn't there a sort of unspoken agreement | 我们继续过夜 假装他没说出什么协议 |
| 240 | By all that this is the only way to move forward as soon as we got to the car | 我们一到车 就只有这样才能前进 |
| 241 | My husband turned into a nervous chatterbox trying to explain himself | 我丈夫变成一个紧张的聊天箱 试图解释自己 |
| 242 | Turns out the dumbass didn't like the way steak was cooked rare and get this he thought the window was open | 原来那蠢货不喜欢牛排的烹饪方式 觉得窗子是开着的 |
| 243 | My husband ladies and gentlemen try to chuck his steak out of a three-story window | 我丈夫女士们先生们 试着把他的牛排从三层的窗户上扔出去 |
| 244 | He thought that was a reasonable solution to being served an undercooked steak | 他认为这是一个合理的解决方案 供奉一个煮不完的牛排 |
| 245 | A year or so later. | 一年左右时. |
| 246 | My boss hosted a christmas party for the company at her newly built home | 我老板在新建的家里为公司办了圣诞派对 |
| 247 | My best friend jenny was my plus one tldr took my husband to dinner at my boss's house | 我最好的朋友Jenny是我加一个工 带我去老板家吃饭 |
| 248 | He thought the steak was undercooked thought the window was open and thought throwing his steak through the window was a reasonable idea | 他以为牛排煮得不够熟 以为窗户是开着的 还以为把他的牛排扔进窗户是个合理的主意 |
| 249 | Note my husband told this | 注意,我丈夫说的 |
| 250 | Did I fuck up from his perspective a couple years ago and it was a popular post? | 几年前我从他的角度把事情搞砸过吗? |
| 251 | Someone suggested I should tell it from my perspective. | 有人建议我从我的角度讲出来 |
| 252 | Hope our discomfort brings a little join to you fine redditors | 希望我们的不适带来一点 加入你们优秀的复习者 |
| 253 | Okay, we have an edit. | 好吧,我们有一个编辑。 |
| 254 | Okay guys, I probably overplayed the dumb shit angle | 好了,伙计们,我可能玩得太过头了 |
| 255 | Yeah, he's known for acting without thinking things through but this one moment does not represent the norm from my perspective in this moment | 是啊,他以不思考一切而著称 但从我的观点来看,这一刻并不代表常规 |
| 256 | He looked like a looney bin character gone mad, which is what makes the story so funny in retrospect | 他看起来像一个Looney bin 人物疯了, 这使得故事如此有趣 在回顾 |
| 257 | Go and read his perspective and his actions look at least a little bit less crazy | 去读他的观点,他的行为看起来至少少一点疯狂 |
| 258 | My husband is a fun loving kind husband and father who makes life very fun | 我丈夫是一个有趣的爱人 善良的丈夫和父亲 谁使生活非常有趣 |
| 259 | Edit two no, my husband is not on the spectrum or crazy, although I get that that may seem like a valid conclusion | 改编两个不,我丈夫不是在光谱 或疯狂,虽然我明白 这似乎是一个合理的结论 |
| 260 | If all of you know is this one event the usual dumb shit is more of your everyday impulsiveness | 如果你们都知道这个事件 通常的蠢事 更是你的日常冲动 |
| 261 | Like immediately saying the slightly inappropriate thing that comes to mind | 就像马上说出不太合适的话 |
| 262 | If he would have done that it wouldn't have shocked me at all | 如果他这样做,我就不会震惊 |
| 263 | This of course shocked me because he normally doesn't do things that make him look insane | 这当然让我震惊,因为他平时不做让他看起来疯狂的事 |
| 264 | Not sure why some seem to be taking the he often does dumb shit to mean | 不知道为什么有人似乎 采取他经常做 愚蠢的狗屎意思 |
| 265 | He often does completely insane things when I feel like I was making the exact opposite point | 他经常做完全疯狂的事情 当我感觉自己正在做 完全相反的观点 |
| 266 | Oh, well glad that most of you got some small bit of enjoyment out of your day from the story | 哦,很高兴你们大多数人 得到了一些小的乐趣 从你的一天 从故事 |
| 267 | Also, we all have our own faults. | 而且,我们都有自己的缺点。 |
| 268 | I joke about my husband not thinking things through | 我开玩笑说我丈夫没想清楚 |
| 269 | He jokes about my preoccupation with what others think of me, etc, etc. | 他笑话我关心别人对我的看法等等。 |
| 270 | That was a funny story | 这是一个有趣的故事 |
| 271 | Dude, these are the type of reddit stories. | 伙计,这些是那种 编辑故事。 |
| 272 | I think that are my favorite just like pure comedy | 我觉得那是我最喜欢的 就像纯喜剧 |
| 273 | It was perfect perfect everything down to the last | 完美无缺,直到最后 |
| 274 | Minute detail but let's read some comments see what other people are thinking someone commented | 一分钟的细节,但让我们看看一些评论 看看其他人认为什么 有人评论 |
| 275 | It would have been amazing if he pulled it off only to have the steak splat on the windshield of her car | 要是他把牛排板 放在她车的挡风玻璃上 就太神奇了 |
| 276 | It would have been more amazing to hear his ridiculous half-wit explanation of how he ate an entire steak in a matter of a few seconds | 听到他那可笑的蠢话 解释他几秒钟内吃完整块牛排会更不可思议 |
| 277 | This would be good | 这样就好了 |
| 278 | If the if the guy is as bungling as it sounds opi needs a blog or a tv show someone else commented | 如果这家伙像听上去一样摇晃 需要博客或电视显示别人的评论 |
| 279 | I can't wait to hear from the boss's perspective in a few years | 我迫不及待地想从老板的角度听几年 |
| 280 | Did I fuck up by serving expensive steak to a moron the funniest part of this to me is that the dude decided | 我给一个白痴卖了昂贵的牛排 搞砸了吗 最有趣的是那家伙决定 |
| 281 | To chuck the whole steak would the boss think he ate the whole thing in that short amount of time think it through buddy | 把整块牛排都扔了 老板会觉得他吃光了 短短的时间就想通了 |
| 282 | We've already established that he usually skips that step | 我们已经确定他通常跳过那一步 |
| 283 | So when I was commented, I can't wait to hear especially from the steak's perspective. | 所以当我被评论的时候, 我迫不及待地想听到特别 从牛排的角度。 |
| 284 | That was funny, dude | 这很有趣,伙计 |
| 285 | Okay, so we have time for one more story. | 好吧,我们还有时间再讲一个故事 |
| 286 | I just read the title seems interesting | 我刚刚读了标题 似乎很有趣 |
| 287 | Did I f up forgetting that elevators aren't private for the last two effing years? | 我忘了电梯在过去两年里不是私人的吗? |
| 288 | I've been going into office three days a week | 我每周三天都去办公室 |
| 289 | Each of those days started with me stepping into an elevator to the 14th floor and ended with me coming off the elevator | 每一天都从我走进14楼的电梯开始,最后我从电梯下来 |
| 290 | At the first floor in between there are countless times where i'll use the elevator for lunch or whatever occasion | 在中间的一楼 我会用电梯吃午饭的无数次 |
| 291 | I need to step out for without fail every time i've ever been in this elevator alone | 每次我一个人在这电梯里 都得站出来 |
| 292 | I do some goofy shit because it's my own personal space | 我做一些愚蠢的狗屎 因为它是我的私人空间 |
| 293 | Sometimes I dance to whatever song is playing in my earbuds | 有时我跳舞 任何歌曲在我的耳机播放 |
| 294 | If it's little wayne i'll do throwing money gestures if it's benson boone | 如果这是小韦恩,我会做 钱手势,如果它是本森勃隆 |
| 295 | I do an air guitar and sing out loud. | 我做一个空气吉他,大声唱出来。 |
| 296 | Imagine the high note of please in beautiful things two years | 想象一下,在美丽的事物中,请的高音符 两年 |
| 297 | I've been doing goofy shit like this including throwing it back and catching myself doing it and laughing out loud saying bro | 我一直在做这种蠢事 包括把它扔回去 抓住自己做 大声笑着说兄弟 |
| 298 | I'm actually stupid af personal space. | 我其实是愚蠢的 af个人空间。 |
| 299 | But remember there are cameras in all elevators in the corner | 但记得所有电梯里都有摄像头 |
| 300 | So if there is like a security guard monitoring the cameras, he's gonna be seeing all that and it's funny | 所以如果有个保安监视摄像头 他会看到这一切,这很有趣 |
| 301 | And i'm surprised if it's now if you do that now 2026 you're getting posted on tiktok, dude | 我很惊讶,如果你现在这样做 2026年,你被贴在tiktok上,伙计 |
| 302 | Today I walked towards the elevators like usual and found myself alone in it once again | 今天我像往常一样走进电梯,又发现自己一个人在电梯里 |
| 303 | So I looked at the elevator's mirror and started posing like i'm a bodybuilding contest started yelling out | 于是我看着电梯的镜子 开始装作我是健美比赛 |
| 304 | Look at you. | 看着你。 |
| 305 | Yeah big man on the scene grunt pose switch another grunt the muscle grunt the definition | 对,场上大人物 摆个姿势,换个姿势 肌肉 摇摆 定义 |
| 306 | Then the elevator doors opened so I gave myself the finger guns in the mirror as I regained my composure before I conducted myself professionally | 然后电梯门打开,我把镜子里的手指枪给自己 当我在专业操练之前恢复了冷静 |
| 307 | As I walked into the office | 当我走进办公室时 |
| 308 | I know you're already judging | 我知道你已经在判断了 |
| 309 | I would never do this in public but genuinely speaking these little moments brighten up my day sometimes because | 我绝不会在公众场合这么做 但真正地说这些小时刻 有时会使我的一天更加明亮 |
| 310 | Because I get to act a fool | 因为我会装傻 |
| 311 | I live my day-to-day life pretty restrained and this is one way for me to ease up the tension a bit | 我日常生活很受约束 这是我缓解紧张的一种方式 |
| 312 | That's good, bro | 不错,兄弟 |
| 313 | You do you ain't nothing wrong with releasing tension and especially if you're not hurting anyone or giving anyone second-hand embarrassment | 你释放紧张是没有错的 尤其是如果你没有伤害任何人 或者给任何人带来二手尴尬 |
| 314 | Or like making their eyes bleed then you're good outside of the elevator. | 或像让他们的眼睛流血 那么你在电梯外面很好。 |
| 315 | I swear to god | 我对天发誓 |
| 316 | You would never expect this from me. | 你绝对不会指望我的 |
| 317 | I am so stuck up at work and know the corporate lingo to a fault | 我被困在工作上,对公司语言很了解 |
| 318 | I'm the guy who talks about action items meeting agendas product life cycles. | 我是谈论行动项目的人 满足议程 产品生命周期。 |
| 319 | I greet everyone with a good morning | 我向大家问好 |
| 320 | Have a wonderful night including security | 过个美好的夜晚 包括保安 |
| 321 | Well today as I left the office a bit earlier than usual the security clerk spotted me walking towards the exit from a distance | 今天我离开办公室时 安保员发现我远道而来 |
| 322 | And I shit you not he yelled out word for word prah big man on campus | 我拉屎你没有 他喊字逐字 在校园大男人 |
| 323 | Say you swear to god say you swear to god the way my face flushed I said, pardon me | 说你对上帝发誓 对上帝发誓 就像我脸被冲掉一样 |
| 324 | He said oh, sorry. | 他说对不起 |
| 325 | I was talking to my colleague. | 我在和我的同事说话 |
| 326 | Oh, have a good night. | 哦,有一个美好的夜晚。 |
| 327 | Gives me finger guns | 手指枪给我 |
| 328 | Bro, they can fire my ass. | 兄弟,他们可以开除我 |
| 329 | I don't give a f. I am never working from office again until he retires at least | 我不给一个f。 我再也不在办公室工作了 直到他退休为止 |
| 330 | Dldr forgot elevator cameras and acted like a goofball for two years while security was eating popcorn | Dldr忘了电梯摄像头 两年来在保安吃爆米花的时候 表现得像个傻瓜 |
| 331 | No | 没有 |
| 332 | Are you a grown man grown office job? | 你是成年人吗? |
| 333 | You know | 你知道吗 |
| 334 | You probably are pretty experienced all this stuff and you don't know that there are cameras in an elevator | 你可能非常有经验 却不知道电梯里有摄像头 |
| 335 | Not the only that but you know what you forgot for two years, dude | 不仅如此,你知道你忘了什么 两年,伙计 |
| 336 | If I was acting like that and I was like super self-conscious if I was acting like that | 如果我这样,我就像超级自我意识 如果我这样 |
| 337 | I would be more self-conscious of potential cameras. | 我会更自觉 潜在的摄像头。 |
| 338 | That's funny | 这很有趣 |
| 339 | And imagine every single thing you've ever done for the past two years | 想象一下你过去两年所做的每件事 |
| 340 | They've seen and they probably recorded it and they probably tell their friends and they laugh | 他们看到,他们可能录下来, 他们可能告诉他们的朋友,他们笑 |
| 341 | And they were kind of taking the piss out of you like oh I was talking to my colleague | 就像我和我同事说话一样 他们把你吓得屁滚尿流 |
| 342 | They probably get bored as hell and enjoy the entertainment shit's probably the highlight of their day keep going | 他们可能变得无聊得要命 享受娱乐粪便 也许是他们一天的亮点 |
| 343 | Can confirm work security for years | 可以确认工作保障多年 |
| 344 | We see most of it and love the shit out of the real ones | 我们见到了大部分,爱狗屎出真正的 |
| 345 | My own profession is that when I was in elementary school, I'd give a little smile and wave to all the cameras | 我的职业是,当我在小学的时候, 我会给一个小微笑和挥手 所有摄像头 |
| 346 | I passed especially when I walked alone. | 我一个人走的时候特别通过了 |
| 347 | I remembered something else | 我记得一些其他的 |
| 348 | I saw this meme one time where somebody said that their three-year-old daughter said good night to everyone before she went to sleep | 有一次我看到这个meme 有人说 他们三岁的女儿在睡前跟大家说晚安 |
| 349 | Then she got into her bed and said good night myself. | 然后她上床说晚安 |
| 350 | I love you pause. | 我爱你暂停。 |
| 351 | I love you, too | 我也爱你 |
| 352 | Don't let anyone take that from you little one. | 别让任何人拿走你的小东西 |
| 353 | My heart almost exploded from cuteness | 我的心差点从可爱中爆炸 |
| 354 | So when I was commented, are you kidding? | 所以当我被评论的时候 你在开玩笑吗? |
| 355 | I would be so hype as a security guard every time you got on the elevator | 每次你上电梯 我都会像保安一样胡闹 |
| 356 | You probably you probably give them a big elevator smile every time you give yourself a big elevator smile | 你可能给他们一个大的电梯微笑 每次你给自己一个大的电梯微笑 |
| 357 | Next time do a shout out to them or dedicate a post to them. | 下一次对他们大喊大叫,或者给他们一个职位。 |
| 358 | Yeah, I genuinely bro | 是啊,我真正的哥们 |
| 359 | I feel like the security guards love you bro. | 我觉得保安们喜欢你,兄弟 |
| 360 | They just like I'm honestly surprised | 他们就像我很惊讶 |
| 361 | That's the first interaction they've ever had with you, but they probably love you | 这是他们第一次和你互动,但他们可能爱你 |
| 362 | It's like probably the highlight | 这就像可能是亮点 |
| 363 | They probably see you and they're like, you know what that guy and if something ever happens | 他们可能看到你,他们喜欢, 你知道是什么家伙, 如果有什么事情发生 |
| 364 | I feel like they would go out of their way to help you because you probably bought them so many like smiles giggles | 我觉得他们会走出去帮你 因为你可能买了这么多像笑笑的人 |
| 365 | And happiness over the past two years that they would pay that back | 和幸福 在过去的两年 他们会回报 |
| 366 | So when I was commented I get it man years ago | 所以当我被评论时,我得到它的人几年前 |
| 367 | I was out drinking in a college town and had to take a leak walked back an alley and then back another alley off | 我在一个大学城喝酒, 不得不走漏了一条小巷,然后又回到另一条小巷 |
| 368 | That alley and found a good spot started doing my business and I hear keys behind me security guard asking what i'm doing | 那条巷子找到一个好地方 开始做我的工作 我听到后面的钥匙 问保安我在做什么 |
| 369 | I say just checking out the scenery. | 我说只是看看风景。 |
| 370 | He goes, okay. | 他去,好吗。 |
| 371 | I'm just letting you know you're peeing directly in front of our camera | 我只是让你知道 你直接在镜头前撒尿 |
| 372 | Have a good night. | 边 |
| 373 | Honestly a funny story | 老实说,一个有趣的故事 |
| 374 | I don't think i've ever done anything in a in an elevator that i'm like embarrassed if i'm ever alone | 我想我从没在电梯里做过什么 如果我一个人的话,我好像很尴尬 |
| 375 | I really act the same whether there are people in there or people are not maybe i'm just boring | 不管里面有人还是人 都一样,也许我只是无聊 |
| 376 | But I just stand there | 但我只是站着 |
| 377 | Usually have music in or if i'm with someone we're talking or something and then when we get off we get off | 通常有音乐 或如果我与某人 我们说话什么的 然后当我们下车 |
| 378 | I don't do like crazy stuff or like that or act like goofy or whatever anywhere in public or anywhere | 我不喜欢疯狂的东西 喜欢那样 或表现得像傻子 或任何地方的公开或任何地方 |
| 379 | There's a possibility there's cameras only at home or like my friend's home or somewhere or like the nature or something where I know | 可能只有家里有摄像头 或者像我朋友的家 或者某处 |
| 380 | There's no one I don't know | 没有我不认识的人 |
| 381 | I just think like the fear of being recorded is like enough for me to like be normal and tame and just be like, yeah | 我只是觉得 被录制的恐惧 足以让我喜欢正常 驯服 就像,是的 |
| 382 | Let me know have you guys ever done anything in an elevator that was like embarrassing and you forgot there was a camera | 让我知道你们在电梯里做过什么 尴尬的事 你忘了有摄像机 |
| 383 | Oh my gosh, dude. | 哦,我的天哪,伙计。 |
| 384 | I actually loki always see tiktoks of people being like so awkward in the elevator | 其实Loki总是看到 电梯里有人这么尴尬 |
| 385 | I see someone like singing singing an elevator | 我看见有人唱电梯 |
| 386 | Young | 年轻 |
| 387 | Or like someone uh doing like a presentation in an elevator of like I forget what it was alexander hamilton's like 1776 america, right? | 或者像有人在电梯里做展示一样 就像我忘了Alexander Hamilton是什么样子的 1776年美国 对吧? |
| 388 | like uh, she's just she's another person that wants the revolution to happen and uh | 她就是另一个希望革命发生的人 |
| 389 | Or like this guy that wears like these glasses and he just makes people uncomfortable by asking them like really weird questions or just | 或像这个戴着眼镜的家伙 他只是让人不舒服 通过问他们 像真的奇怪的问题或只是 |
| 390 | Not even asking weird questions just saying like weird things | 甚至不问奇怪问题 只是说奇怪的事情 |
| 391 | So | 这么说 |
| 392 | As long as no one's getting hurt bro funny | 只要没人受伤,兄弟 |
| 393 | Anyways, if you guys like this, let me know in the comments if you want to see more like funny funny reddit stories | 总之,如果你们喜欢这样,请在评论中告诉我,如果你想看更像搞笑的改编故事的话 |
| 394 | And let me know because actually I like reading these even though I look he'd just be laughing dude. | 让我知道,因为实际上 我喜欢阅读这些 虽然我看他只是笑的家伙。 |
| 395 | They're actually so funny | 他们真的很有趣 |
| 396 | They're so funny. | 他们真有趣 |
| 397 | Let me know if you guys also found it funny. | 如果你们也觉得有趣的话,告诉我 |
| 398 | I'll see you in the next video. | 下部影视剧见. |
| 399 | Bye. | 再见。 |
| 400 | Bye | 再见 |
该视频共有字幕 400 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格