我女朋友说出轨是她的“事业策略”｜REACTION
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | For years my 35 female husband 37 male said that if I want stability in my life | 多年来,我的35个女丈夫 37个男的说,如果我想要稳定我的生活 |
| 0:06 | I have to make it happen. | 我必须让它发生 |
| 0:08 | I did and now things are worse than ever | 我做了 现在事情比以前更糟 |
| 0:11 | Help. | 帮助。 |
| 0:12 | Okay, this comes from the r slash | 好吧,这个来自斜拉 |
| 0:14 | Relationship subreddit and we have three stories with one update for the first story and let's just get straight into it | 关系潜移,我们有三个故事 与一个更新的第一个故事,让我们直接进入它 |
| 0:21 | I'm writing partly to sort all of this out in my head and partly for outside perspectives | 我写的部分是为了整理 这一切在我的脑海里 和部分为外部视角 |
| 0:26 | I don't even know what to think anymore | 我都不知道该怎么想了 |
| 0:29 | Again, I'm happy to explain any details that need fleshing out if it helps | 再说一遍,我很乐意解释 任何需要充实的细节 如果有帮助的话 |
| 0:33 | I'll try to be concise and I truly appreciate you reading this nine months ago | 我会尽量简洁的 我很感谢你九个月前读到这个 |
展开字幕全文（520 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | For years my 35 female husband 37 male said that if I want stability in my life | 多年来,我的35个女丈夫 37个男的说,如果我想要稳定我的生活 |
| 2 | I have to make it happen. | 我必须让它发生 |
| 3 | I did and now things are worse than ever | 我做了 现在事情比以前更糟 |
| 4 | Help. | 帮助。 |
| 5 | Okay, this comes from the r slash | 好吧,这个来自斜拉 |
| 6 | Relationship subreddit and we have three stories with one update for the first story and let's just get straight into it | 关系潜移,我们有三个故事 与一个更新的第一个故事,让我们直接进入它 |
| 7 | I'm writing partly to sort all of this out in my head and partly for outside perspectives | 我写的部分是为了整理 这一切在我的脑海里 和部分为外部视角 |
| 8 | I don't even know what to think anymore | 我都不知道该怎么想了 |
| 9 | Again, I'm happy to explain any details that need fleshing out if it helps | 再说一遍,我很乐意解释 任何需要充实的细节 如果有帮助的话 |
| 10 | I'll try to be concise and I truly appreciate you reading this nine months ago | 我会尽量简洁的 我很感谢你九个月前读到这个 |
| 11 | I posted asking for help about my frustration with going back to work after my husband burned out in his career | 我发帖请求帮助 关于我的挫折 回去工作 之后,我的丈夫 烧掉他的职业生涯 |
| 12 | previous post in my history | 我历史上的旧文章 |
| 13 | For the sake of anonymity, I tried to be vague with the details and many thought our work was on the dodgy side | 为了匿名,我试图 模糊的细节,许多人认为我们的工作是 虚伪的方面 |
| 14 | I don't care about keeping it anonymous. | 我不管不记名 |
| 15 | All these factors are relevant. | 所有这些因素都是相关的。 |
| 16 | I'm an author | 我是一个作家 |
| 17 | I self-published books and made a decent living doing it for several years | 我自发出版书籍 做了几年好生活 |
| 18 | my husband is a software developer and mainly buys existing online companies and | 我丈夫是软件开发商,主要购买现有的网上公司 |
| 19 | Fixes them up to sell when that's not working | 把他们修理成卖不卖的 |
| 20 | He tries to work a normal nine to five but typically lasts no more than six months | 他试图正常工作九到五,但一般不超过六个月 |
| 21 | His last attempt was one day my career before this was in the food industry | 他的最后一次尝试是有一天 我之前的职业生涯是食品工业 |
| 22 | Which means crappy pay long hours and very sore feet | 也就是说要花很长的工时和很酸的脚 |
| 23 | I got a job that pays 95% of the bills. | 我找到一份支付95%账单的工作 |
| 24 | The rest is covered by savings. | 其余由储蓄支付。 |
| 25 | Yeah, I'd rather be working for myself | 是啊,我宁愿为自己工作 |
| 26 | But I like it. | 但我喜欢 |
| 27 | I'm good at it. | 我擅长它。 |
| 28 | It's the first time I actually enjoyed going to work for the last few months | 这是我最近几个月第一次真正喜欢上班 |
| 29 | I've been slowly changing and it feels like my husband and I are drifting apart at first | 我慢慢地变了 感觉我和我丈夫刚开始就分开了 |
| 30 | I thought it was a natural phase things will definitely feel different compared to working under the same roof all day and night | 我以为这是自然阶段的事情 绝对会感觉不同 比在同一间屋檐下工作一整天和晚上 |
| 31 | Now, I don't know from the previous thread | 现在,我不知道 从前一条线 |
| 32 | He says if you want those things then make them happen, which fair enough. | 他说,如果你想要那些东西,那就让它发生,这很公平。 |
| 33 | I completely agree | 我完全赞成 |
| 34 | I don't want to rely on him to provide the life. | 我不想依赖他来提供生活 |
| 35 | I want however | 不过我想 |
| 36 | It leaves me feeling a combination of emotions. | 这让我感觉 混合的情感。 |
| 37 | I can't really put a word to I find myself going through mental exercises of | 我一个字都说不出来 我发现自己正在经历精神锻炼 |
| 38 | What would I do in this situation if I were single? | 如果我单身,我该怎么办? |
| 39 | How would I support myself and I start to feel resentful? | 我怎么养活自己 我开始觉得很怨恨? |
| 40 | I'm not single. | 我不是单身。 |
| 41 | I'm married and not only that I'm not sure I can make enough money to support us | 我结了婚 不仅不知道我还能赚到足够的钱 |
| 42 | I am making enough money to support us and it feels good | 我赚的钱够支持我们了,感觉很好 |
| 43 | It's given me confidence in a way I haven't had before but it's also made something glaringly obvious in our relationship | 它给了我一种我以前没有的自信 但它也使我们的关系变得很明显 |
| 44 | We disagree on just about everything and we have very little in common | 我们在所有事情上都意见不一 我们几乎没有共同点 |
| 45 | How do you get married and live together for years and years and years probably date for years too | 你怎么结婚 一起生活 几年 几年 几年 |
| 46 | You never realized that you have very little in common and that you actually disagree on everything | 你从来没有意识到 你没有什么共同点, 你实际上不同意的一切 |
| 47 | I feel like maybe you jumped into this relationship way too quick | 我觉得也许你跳进这个关系太快了 |
| 48 | You kind of always felt that you didn't want to go down that path of really getting to know the other person because then you would | 你总是觉得你不想走 真正了解另一个人的道路 因为那样你就会 |
| 49 | Realize you're not actually as compatible as you thought you were and maybe you were both lonely and seeking someone else | 知道你没有想象的那么相容 或许你既孤独又寻找别人 |
| 50 | Your partner was the first person you found. | 你的搭档是你发现的第一个人 |
| 51 | So that's why you ended up together. | 所以你们才在一起 |
| 52 | That's interesting | 这很有趣 |
| 53 | I'm happy to work on my writing on the side while I work | 我很乐意一边写作一边工作 |
| 54 | He thinks I've given up on our dream and I've settled for a world the 9 to 5 Monday to Friday world | 他以为我放弃了我们的梦想 我决定了9到5个星期一到星期五的世界 |
| 55 | He loves to spend time in he sold his business and is still figuring out what he wants to do next | 他喜欢花时间 在他出售他的生意, 还在想他下一步要做什么 |
| 56 | I want to buy a flat in the city | 我想在城里买房子 |
| 57 | He wants to move to the country or use our savings to travel or live remotely | 他想搬去乡下 或利用我们的积蓄 远游或生活 |
| 58 | I want to settle for a while and make friends. | 我想安顿一下 交个朋友 |
| 59 | He thinks there's plenty of time for that in the future | 他觉得将来有很多时间 |
| 60 | I want to make our home cozy and put up decorations like photos and artwork while he likes it | 我想让我们的家舒适, 并摆放装饰像照片和艺术品 而他喜欢它 |
| 61 | He thinks of it all is just pointless stuff. | 他认为一切都是毫无意义的 |
| 62 | We shouldn't waste money on I could go on but you get it | 我们不应该浪费钱 我还可以继续,但你懂的 |
| 63 | It feels like literally everything I like he hates | 感觉就像他讨厌的一切 |
| 64 | I've also realized that most of the moves most of the big big decisions were things I went along with | 我也意识到,大多数的动作 大部分的大决定 就是我所经历的事情 |
| 65 | I'm not saying he bullied me or anything just that I didn't feel too strongly one way or the other | 我不是说他欺负我什么的 只是我不觉得太强烈 一种或另一种方式 |
| 66 | So tended to go with what he wanted | 所以他喜欢随心所欲 |
| 67 | Of course, we talked about it, but it rarely was me pulling in the bulk of the income | 当然,我们谈过了 但很少是我占了大部分收入 |
| 68 | So I didn't feel like I had much of a say the thing about that is when you're in a relationship | 所以我觉得没什么好说的 就是当你在交往时 |
| 69 | Whether you're like dating and you're living together or you're married | 无论你喜欢约会 同居还是结婚 |
| 70 | It doesn't really matter it matters | 这不重要 |
| 71 | But not like as much as she's putting on the importance of who brings in the money because when you're together | 但不像她那样重视谁带钱 因为你们在一起的时候 |
| 72 | You're a team and it's a partnership | 你是一个团队,它是一个伙伴关系 |
| 73 | So just because you're not the one that earns the money technically speaking | 所以,只是因为你不是 谁挣钱的技术上 |
| 74 | You still provide a lot of other value in the relationship | 你还在关系上提供了很多其他价值 |
| 75 | So any decision should be made, you know 50-50 with both of your approval | 所以,任何决定都应该做出, 你知道50 -50得到你的同意 |
| 76 | I don't think you should feel like you have less of a say just because you didn't earn the money | 我想你不应该觉得 你没有发言权 只是因为你没有挣到钱 |
| 77 | I think that's the wrong way to think about it now | 我觉得现在想错了 |
| 78 | I feel strongly about a life direction and have the ability to make it happen and I feel guilty | 我对生命的方向有强烈的感受 并且有能力实现它 我感到内疚 |
| 79 | He says I've changed that he's the same as he's been wants the same things. | 他说我变了 他和以前一样 |
| 80 | He's always wanted | 他总是被通缉 |
| 81 | This is me altering the situation, which I agree with | 这是我在改变现状 我同意 |
| 82 | But it's not like it's this massive bait and switch plan our entire marriage. | 但这不是这个巨大的诱饵 并改变我们整个婚姻的计划。 |
| 83 | I've talked about settling down. | 我谈过要安顿下来 |
| 84 | I'm rambling | 我在胡闹 |
| 85 | Here's the way I see it. | 我是这样看的 |
| 86 | We both love each other and genuinely want to make the other happy | 我们彼此相爱,真心想让对方快乐 |
| 87 | Which is why over 10 years we both compromise on choices that go against what we individually want | 这就是为什么10年多来 我们都妥协 选择与我们各自想要的相反 |
| 88 | He goes to work for a little while so I can have a semi stable home | 他去工作一段时间,所以我可以有一个半稳定的家 |
| 89 | I bounce around the world with him so he can discover himself and his career | 我和他环游世界 这样他就能发现自己和事业 |
| 90 | But our tolerance for those periods have become too short to manage he physically can't work for another person | 但是我们对这些时期的容忍度已经太短了,不能让他在身体上为别人工作 |
| 91 | Mmm, he physically can't or he won't because there's a difference can't is like it's out of his control | 嗯,他的身体不能,或者他不会 因为有区别,不可能是像 失控他控制 |
| 92 | Won't is just he does not want to so I don't understand the situation | 不只是他不想,所以我不明白情况 |
| 93 | But it kind of sounds like just an excuse not to work for someone else and there really really is nothing wrong with that | 但它听起来只是借口 不为别人工作 真的有 真的没有错 |
| 94 | I think being self-employed is amazing | 我觉得自谋职业是惊人的 |
| 95 | But if it's between being employed and working for someone else and not having a job and income | 但是如果是在受雇和为别人工作 和没有工作和收入之间 |
| 96 | Obviously you have to go for the one that provides an income especially when you have a family | 显然,你必须去一个提供 收入,特别是当你有一个家庭 |
| 97 | I want to scream when I think about packing up my stuff and starting over again | 我想在想收拾东西 重新开始的时候尖叫 |
| 98 | Have we just spent so much of our marriage being distracted by the exciting newness of moving and pushing for financial independence | 我们的婚姻有没有花这么多时间 被感动和推动经济独立 的刺激性 分散了注意力? |
| 99 | We didn't notice how little we have in common. | 我们没注意到我们的共同点有多少 |
| 100 | Otherwise, I can't help but feel like this is on me | 不然,我忍不住觉得这都是我的错 |
| 101 | Not my fault per se but on my shoulders | 不是我的错 而是我肩上 |
| 102 | I'm the one rocking the status quo and if I want things to balance out it's up to me to adjust my expectations | 我才是改变现状的人 如果想平衡一切 就得调整我的预期 |
| 103 | TLDR things in my marriage have shifted drastically since I started working again for years | 自从我重新开始工作多年后 婚姻中的TLDR就发生了巨大的变化 |
| 104 | My husband said that if I want stability in our life, I have to make it happen | 我丈夫说,如果我要我们的生活稳定, 我必须让它实现 |
| 105 | I did and now things are worse than ever. | 我做了 现在情况比以前更糟了 |
| 106 | Let's read some of the comments before we get to the update | 在更新前先看一些评论 |
| 107 | Someone commented these seem like fundamental incompatibilities. | 有人评论这些似乎是根本的不兼容. |
| 108 | Yeah, I agree | 是的,我赞成 |
| 109 | He wants to keep on moving around traveling and everything but you want to settle down meet friends and you know get into a routine | 他想继续四处旅行 但你想安顿下来 和朋友见面 |
| 110 | Those are two polar opposites OP replied they really do don't they someone replied to OP they do love | 这对面是两极 对面 OP回答说他们真的有 他们不是有人回答他们爱的OP |
| 111 | This is really unconventional way to look at it | 这是非常规的观察方式 |
| 112 | But if you met your husband now as a new relationship, would you be excited about the guy interested? | 但是,如果你现在遇见你的丈夫 作为一个新的关系, 你会兴奋的家伙感兴趣吗? |
| 113 | Would he make you laugh and make your coffee just the way you like it? | 他会逗你笑吗 让你的咖啡和你喜欢的一样? |
| 114 | I'm not saying we all should hold our partners to the standards of the honeymoon stage of a relationship | 我不是说我们都该让伙伴们 保持一段蜜月般的关系 |
| 115 | but we should be in a relationship where we at least are attracted to each other and have basic values and | 但是,我们的关系,至少 我们被吸引到彼此, 有基本的价值观和 |
| 116 | Preferences that are compatible OP replied I've often posed your question to myself | 我经常问你的问题 |
| 117 | Would we get together now as a new relationship? | 我们现在能以新的关系在一起吗? |
| 118 | I think I'd still adore his passions and perspectives on life. | 我想我还是喜欢他的激情和人生观 |
| 119 | They're intoxicating | 他们醉了 |
| 120 | He's a sweet guy always looking out for me and remembering little things | 他是个好人 总是照顾我 记得一些小事 |
| 121 | I like he has a habit of giving me a kiss when he leaves the room | 我喜欢他离开房间时有吻我的习惯 |
| 122 | Even if he's just going away for a half hour, obviously I could go on | 就算他走了半个小时 很明显我可以继续 |
| 123 | I really think we need to go talk to someone professionally. | 我真的觉得我们需要去跟某个专业的人谈谈 |
| 124 | Thank you for reading someone replied | 谢谢你读了别人的答复 |
| 125 | I remember reading your original post and I'm happy that you've been able to find some financial stability for yourself | 我记得我读过你的原稿 我很高兴你能为自己找到一些财政稳定 |
| 126 | Your husband can work for other people. | 你丈夫可以为别人工作 |
| 127 | He didn't lose his limbs in the war. | 他并没有在战争中失去四肢. |
| 128 | He just doesn't want to that's a very important distinction | 他只是不想做这个很重要的区别 |
| 129 | For the next point I'll be making your husband is content to constantly move around | 接下来我会让你丈夫 满足于不断移动 |
| 130 | Live off savings and never settle in one place while neither of you are old | 靠积蓄过活 永远不要在一个地方安顿下来 你们都不老 |
| 131 | You are getting to an age where settling down and having friends and roots is important | 你进入了安定和有朋友和根的时代 |
| 132 | Because as you age those things will get harder to do | 因为当你变老的时候 事情会越来越难办 |
| 133 | I'm not saying people don't make friends in the later part of their life | 我不是说人们以后不交朋友 |
| 134 | But rather that most people have established friend groups at your age | 但其实大多数人在你们这个年纪都建立了朋友团体 |
| 135 | So my husband and I also work in the service industry | 我和我丈夫也在服务行业工作 |
| 136 | We make a living wage, but definitely nothing to write home about both of us would like to start our own business | 我们挣工资,但绝对没有 写我们两个的家 会想开始我们自己的生意 |
| 137 | But while we work on that and likely for the foreseeable future | 但是,当我们致力于 这一点,并有可能在可预见的未来 |
| 138 | We will work these jobs even when our business is running | 就算我们做生意,我们也会做这些工作 |
| 139 | We will need to continue to serve because most small businesses are simply not sustainable at first even in the long run | 我们需要继续服务,因为大多数小企业最初甚至从长远来看都无法持续。 |
| 140 | We will most likely not profit enough to solely to be self-employed | 我们很可能会赚不到钱 光靠自谋职业 |
| 141 | That is a hard fact, but it is the truth and one that we can live with neither of us want to be servers | 这是一个很难的事实,但这是事实,一个我们能够 与我们谁都不想成为服务器 |
| 142 | It's not our dream | 这不是我们的梦想 |
| 143 | But making money is a necessity my point to all this being that plenty of people work jobs that they do not enjoy and would | 但赚钱是有必要的 我指出这一切是 许多人的工作 他们不享受,并将 |
| 144 | Rather not but that doesn't mitigate the reality that money must be made and must continuously flow into the home by any means necessary | 而不是,但这并不减轻现实,即必须用任何必要的手段赚钱,必须不断流入家庭。 |
| 145 | I think you should take a good hard look at your marriage | 我想你应该好好看看自己的婚姻 |
| 146 | It seems that the two of you are deeply incompatible and would both be happier with a partner who had the same life goals | 你们俩看起来很不相容 和人生目标相同的搭档在一起会更快乐 |
| 147 | If anyone has been bait and switched it to you by your husband who enabled you to believe that settling down was the ultimate goal of all the moves and schemes | 如果有人被你丈夫诱骗了 让你相信安顿下来是一切举动和阴谋的最终目标 |
| 148 | I hope you find the answer that you're looking for and wish you a lot of happiness with whatever you choose | 我希望你能找到你正在寻找的答案 并祝愿你以你所选择的幸福 |
| 149 | Yeah, so it really sounds like OP and her husband are just completely incompatible | 是啊,所以这真的听起来像 OP和她的丈夫只是完全不相容 |
| 150 | Like maybe in the beginning of their relationship, they were compatible, they were moving around, they're enjoying life, seeing new things, experiencing new things | 也许在他们关系开始的时候, 他们是相容的, 他们四处移动, 他们享受生活, 看到新事物, 经历新事物 |
| 151 | But now as they've aged OP's husband still wants to travel around and still wants to do all that | 但现在他们已经老了 OP的丈夫仍然想四处旅行 并且仍然想做这一切 |
| 152 | But she clearly doesn't she wants to settle down, have friends, get her into a routine, have a home, you know, make it your own safe space | 但是她显然不想安顿下来,有朋友, 让她进入一个常规,有家,你知道的,让它成为你自己的安全空间 |
| 153 | I could really understand that feeling not of like traveling around with like a partner or anything | 我真的能理解那种感觉 不喜欢像伙伴一样到处旅行 |
| 154 | But like of moving around and wanting to stay in one place because I have been traveling around a lot for the past years | 但喜欢四处走动 想要留在一个地方 因为我在过去几年里 到处旅行 |
| 155 | Like a couple months here, a couple months there going around, whether that's Asia, South America or North America | 像几个月在这里, 几个月在那里 周围,无论是亚洲,南美还是北美 |
| 156 | I've really gotten like burned out from like traveling so much | 我真的像被烧焦 从像旅行这么多 |
| 157 | Like genuinely, I just want to stay in one place, just be in that place | 就像真的一样,我只想留在一个地方,就在那里 |
| 158 | Like I just want to get into my routine, eat the same things every day, go to the gym every day, the same time | 就像我只是想进入我的常规, 每天吃同样的东西, 每天去健身房,同时间 |
| 159 | I just prefer the simpler things | 我只是更喜欢简单的 |
| 160 | It sounds like I'm really like, I guess ungrateful or like, oh, I'm so spoiled | 听起来我好像很忘恩负义 |
| 161 | But no, I'm just saying like, I guess I've experienced traveling around and stuff that I now realize that I've had enough and I don't need any more | 但是,不,我只是说一样, 我想我经历过旅行 和东西,我现在意识到 我已经受够了,我不再需要了 |
| 162 | I just want to stay in my place, in my home where it's nice and comfortable and just have my routine, have my friends, my routine | 我只是想留在我的地方, 在我的家里,它很好和舒适, 只是有我的常规,有我的朋友,我的常规 |
| 163 | The gym I go to, my hobbies, and then that's it | 我去的健身房,我的爱好,然后就这样 |
| 164 | That's what I'm content with | 这就是我最满意的 |
| 165 | Let's read the update | 让我们看看最新消息 |
| 166 | Seven years later, holy, oh man | 七年后,神圣的,哦,男人 |
| 167 | Okay, seven years later, that's crazy | 好吧,七年后,这太疯狂了 |
| 168 | I was recently cleaning out my bookmarks and found this old throwaway and obviously the two posts I made with it | 我最近把书签打扫干净 发现一个老丢弃物 很明显我用它做了两个帖子 |
| 169 | I'm not sure why now, but I feel compelled to write a follow up | 我不知道为什么现在, 但我觉得不得不写一个后续 |
| 170 | Maybe it will give people the bravery to change or at least an example of how sticking with what you know isn't always the best choice | 也许它会给人们改变的勇气 或者至少一个例子 如何坚持你所知道的东西 并不总是最好的选择 |
| 171 | And obviously, very long story short, with the help of those posts and a lot of long nights of thinking, I left my husband | 很明显,很长的故事短, 在那些帖子和很多漫长的思绪的帮助下, 我离开了我丈夫 |
| 172 | It's pretty sad, but I think fundamentally you guys were incompatible, so this was the best choice long term | 这很悲哀,但我基本上认为 你们是不相容的, 所以这是最好的选择长期 |
| 173 | In fact, it took him going away for a long weekend to realize how much happier and at peace I felt without him around | 事实上,他花了很长的周末才意识到 没有他我是多么的快乐和平静 |
| 174 | At first, the split was amicable, but looking back, I think he was just waiting for me to come rushing back to him once I realized my mistake | 起初,分裂是友善的,但回头看,我想他只是等我一意识到自己的错误,就急忙赶回他身边. |
| 175 | When that didn't happen and he could see I was actually serious about building a new life for myself, a switch flipped | 当那没有发生的时候,他可以看到 我其实是认真的 为自己建立一个新的生活, 一个开关翻了 |
| 176 | We only spoke when he needed something from me and eventually that stopped too | 我们只是在他需要我帮忙时才说话 最后也停止了 |
| 177 | Enough about him | 别再提他了 |
| 178 | I'm now 42, happier and healthier and more satisfied than I've been my whole life | 我现在42岁了 比我一生更快乐 更健康 更满意 |
| 179 | I picked me and that was the best choice I could have ever made | 我选了我,这是我最好的选择 |
| 180 | I lived alone for the first time and my god, the peace of having my own space unrivaled | 我第一次独居 和我的神, 和平的拥有我自己的空间 没有竞争 |
| 181 | I ended up staying in that apartment for five years, not a moving box in sight | 我最后在公寓里住了五年 却没看到搬家的盒子 |
| 182 | I put art on the walls, I knew my neighbors, I made a home, I grew my career and went back to school | 我把艺术品贴在墙上,认识邻居,做了个家,成长了事业,回到了学校 |
| 183 | Made friends, built a little community | 交朋友,建立小社区 |
| 184 | That really sounds beautiful | 听起来真美 |
| 185 | That sounds so nice | 听起来不错 |
| 186 | I've done a lot of therapy and realized that the abusive patterns my parents created in childhood were just repeating with my ex | 我做了很多治疗 并意识到 我父母在童年时创造的虐待模式 只是重复我的前夫 |
| 187 | I fell in love, a real love, a supportive love that encourages growth and security | 我坠入爱河,真正的爱, 支持的爱,鼓励成长和安全 |
| 188 | I'm doing new work, work that helps people and is so much more than just chasing money | 我在做新的工作 帮助别人 不只是追钱 |
| 189 | All of those things have created a life that's more rewarding than I ever thought possible for myself | 所有这些东西创造了一个 比我想象的更有意义的生活 |
| 190 | I've gone through some really shitty times too, illness, cancer scares, deaths, loss | 我也经历过一些糟糕的时光 疾病、癌症、死亡、损失 |
| 191 | And I have no idea how I would have come out the other side without the community I'd built around me | 我不知道我怎么会走出另一边 没有我周围建设的社区 |
| 192 | Even something as simple as people at your local coffee shop recognizing you is a comfort after feeling adrift and alone for so long | 即使是简单的事物,像人们 在你的咖啡店 承认你是一个舒适 后感觉漂流 孤独这么久 |
| 193 | Anyway, if I were to respond to myself from seven years ago, this is what I would say | 总之,如果我是七年前的 回应自己,这就是我要说的 |
| 194 | Leave that loser, he doesn't care about you, never did | 离开那个失败者,他不在乎你,从来没有 |
| 195 | He only cares about what you can do for him and now that you aren't serving him, well, just go | 他只在乎你能为他做什么 而现在你又不为他服务了 |
| 196 | You are capable of doing difficult things and you are worthy of the work it takes to accomplish them | 你有能力做困难的事情 你值得完成它的工作 |
| 197 | Trust your abilities, trust your gut, it's been screaming at you for years now, honey | 相信你的能力 相信你的直觉 多年来它一直对你尖叫 亲爱的 |
| 198 | Life can be so much more than you've experienced, but you have to make it happen for yourself | 生活可以比你经历过的多得多 但你必须让自己实现 |
| 199 | TLDR, left my husband, happier than ever | TLDR,离开我的丈夫,比以往更快乐 |
| 200 | Edit, I'm surprised but happy this found so many people | 编辑,我很惊讶,但很高兴找到这么多人 |
| 201 | I genuinely thought I was going to bookend the story and have it disappear into the ether | 我真的认为我要去 订下来的故事 并让它消失在乙醚 |
| 202 | But whatever the urge, I had to write it and whatever brought you to reading it, who knows | 但无论多么冲动,我不得不写 无论是什么让你读它,谁知道 |
| 203 | Maybe it was meant to | 也许它是为了 |
| 204 | Thank you for all the messages and comments, I felt so grateful to have this perspective and experience | 感谢各位的致辞和评论,我非常感激大家的这种观点和经验。 |
| 205 | I think that ended on a very good note, like that was a good ending | 我觉得结局很好,就像结局不错一样 |
| 206 | Low-key fairytale ending, but I guess not exactly | 低调的童话结局,但我想不是 |
| 207 | I'm glad that she realized that relationship wasn't good for her and she was being used by her then husband | 我很高兴她意识到 关系对她不利 她被当时的丈夫利用了 |
| 208 | I guess her ex-husband now, so I'm glad she got out of that relationship and found a more fulfilling path in life | 我猜她的前夫现在, 所以我很高兴她脱离了那段关系, 找到了一条更满足生活的道路 |
| 209 | Good story | 说得好 |
| 210 | Story number two | 二号故事 |
| 211 | My 43 female husband, 46 male, came out as polyamorous | 我43个女丈夫,46个男的 以多摩异性身份出来 |
| 212 | He came out as polyamorous | 他出来的时候很复杂 |
| 213 | I'm not going to lie, every time I've seen a story where people become or realize they're polyamorous | 我不会撒谎的,每次我看到一个故事 人变得或者意识到他们是多摩多 |
| 214 | There's usually someone else in the picture that they want to sleep with | 照片上通常还有别人想睡 |
| 215 | But they don't want to feel guilty about it and they don't want to leave their partner | 但是他们不想对此感到内疚 也不想离开搭档 |
| 216 | So they say, oh, we should open up the relationship, become polyamorous | 所以他们说,哦,我们应该打开关系, 变得多发性 |
| 217 | Because they want to sleep with that person | 因为他们想和那个人上床 |
| 218 | And honestly, they probably were already sleeping with them before | 老实说,他们可能已经睡过 |
| 219 | But now they want to do it more openly without the need to hide and stuff | 但是现在他们想更公开地做 不需要躲藏藏藏 |
| 220 | Yeah, let's read it | 是啊,让我们读它 |
| 221 | Me, 43 female, and my husband, 46 male, have been married 15 years and have two school-aged kids | 我,43个女性,我丈夫,46个男性, 已婚15岁,有两个学龄的孩子 |
| 222 | We've had ups and downs like anyone, but I've always been committed and loyal | 我们曾经像任何人一样上下跌倒 但我一直忠心耿耿 |
| 223 | I genuinely thought we were doing okay | 我真的觉得我们做的很好 |
| 224 | A little while ago, he came out to me that he's polyamorous | 刚才,他出来告诉我,他是一个多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多摩多 |
| 225 | Get the f**k out of here | 把F**k带出去 |
| 226 | He said he's always felt that way and that monogamy has always been hard for him | 他说他一直都有这种感觉 而且一夫一妻制对他来说总是很困难 |
| 227 | That just means he's a cheater, bro, what the f**k | 那只是说他是个骗子,兄弟,什么是f**k |
| 228 | Oh, it's been so hard for me not sleeping with other women | 哦,这让我很难 没有睡其他女人 |
| 229 | Why are you married then? | 那你为什么结婚? |
| 230 | No one told you to get married to a monogamous person | 没人叫你嫁给一夫一妻制的人 |
| 231 | Go join one of those poly cults or something, bro | 去加入那些邪教之类的 |
| 232 | Get out of here | 滚开 |
| 233 | He described it like being a boiled... | 他形容这就像一个煮... |
| 234 | Holy s**t | 圣灵**t |
| 235 | Let's see how he described it | 看看他怎么说的 |
| 236 | Like being a boiled kettle with no release valve | 就像一个没有释放阀的煮锅 |
| 237 | He just sounds like he's a sex addict, I'm not gonna lie | 他听起来像是性瘾,我不会撒谎 |
| 238 | Like he's going to explode if he can't love multiple people and experience multiple relationships | 喜欢他要爆炸,如果他不能 爱多人,经历多重关系 |
| 239 | I was completely blindsided, but I love this man and our family with my whole heart | 我完全失明了 但我全心全意爱着这个男人和我们的家人 |
| 240 | I don't want to suppress him or be the reason he's unhappy | 我不想压制他 也不想让他不高兴 |
| 241 | So even though this was totally foreign for me | 所以,尽管这对我来说是完全陌生的 |
| 242 | I said I'd be open to learning about it and considering it | 我说我愿意学习和思考 |
| 243 | He said it wouldn't be one-sided and that I should be free to explore too | 他说这不会是片面的 我应该可以自由探索 |
| 244 | Just a couple later, he tells me he's already found someone considering a date with him | 刚过一阵子,他告诉我他已经找到人 考虑和他约会了 |
| 245 | It's a divorced woman from our neighborhood, 11 years younger than him | 是我们附近一个离婚的女人 比他小11岁 |
| 246 | Who he chats with at the school bus stop | 他在校车站和谁聊天? |
| 247 | Yeah, he definitely was talking to her before that | 是啊,他肯定 和她说话之前 |
| 248 | I could bet on that | 我敢打赌 |
| 249 | I hadn't even processed the idea of Paul yet | 我还没有处理过保罗的想法 |
| 250 | Hadn't read a single book and suddenly there's a date lined up | 没读过一本书 突然间就出现了约会 |
| 251 | I felt blindsided all over again | 我又觉得瞎了 |
| 252 | Yeah, because he's lying to you and blindsiding you | 是啊,因为他骗你 和盲目的你 |
| 253 | It's super, it's super clear as day | 超强,超强清澈 |
| 254 | But maybe after like 15 years of marriage, it's hard to see | 但也许15年的婚姻之后 很难想象 |
| 255 | It's hard to understand how your partner could be capable of that | 很难理解你的搭档怎么会这样 |
| 256 | I said it was ultimately up to him and I tried to express that I needed time | 我说归根结底要由他决定 我想表达我需要时间 |
| 257 | And suggested some basic boundaries while I adjusted | 并提出一些基本界限,而我调整 |
| 258 | He got frustrated and said if he's going to do this | 他感到沮丧,并说如果他要这样做 |
| 259 | He can't have boundaries because he needs to be able to explore freely | 他不能有界限 因为他需要自由探索 |
| 260 | Leave this man | 离开这个人 |
| 261 | At the same time, whenever I tried to even talk to someone or meet for coffee | 同时,每当我试图 与某人说话或见面喝咖啡 |
| 262 | He'd get visibly upset and say I wasn't communicating properly | 他会很生气,说我没有好好沟通 |
| 263 | Yeah, that's typical bro, typical | 是啊,这是典型的兄弟,典型的 |
| 264 | He'd act like he was on the verge of a breakdown | 他装作快要崩溃了 |
| 265 | So I stopped pursuing anything because his mental well-being felt more important to me | 所以我不再追求任何东西 因为他的精神健康对我更重要 |
| 266 | Bro, this guy does not care about you | 大哥,这家伙不在乎你 |
| 267 | He does not care about you | 他不关心你 |
| 268 | Meanwhile, he continued talking to the neighbor | 与此同时,他继续和邻居说话 |
| 269 | She would ignore me in public | 她会在公众场合无视我 |
| 270 | He kept saying nothing is happening and that he didn't know what she wanted | 他一直说什么都没发生 他不知道她想要什么 |
| 271 | Eventually it came out that she cared about him | 最终发现她关心他 |
| 272 | But had issues with him being married | 但是和他结婚有矛盾 |
| 273 | That felt like a huge red flag to me | 感觉就像一面巨大的红旗 |
| 274 | It started to feel like my existence was the obstacle to their progress | 开始感觉我的存在是他们进步的障碍 |
| 275 | Yeah, that is exactly what it looks like | 是啊,这正是它的样子 |
| 276 | I felt like for them to get what they both wanted would be at the cost of my marriage | 我觉得他们要得到他们想要的东西 就要牺牲我的婚姻 |
| 277 | I would not be surprised if your husband has already cheated before | 如果你丈夫以前已经作弊了 我也不会惊讶 |
| 278 | In your 15 years of marriage, I'm not gonna lie | 在你15年的婚姻中,我不会撒谎 |
| 279 | Sometimes he'd acknowledge my concerns | 有时候他会承认我的顾虑 |
| 280 | More often he would defend her and dismiss mine | 更常见的是,他会为她辩护 并开除我的 |
| 281 | Eventually I said I wasn't comfortable with that specific relationship continuing | 最终我说,我对继续这种特殊关系感到不舒服 |
| 282 | He agreed and said they'd delete each other's numbers and stop talking | 他同意了,说要删掉对方的号码 别再说话了 |
| 283 | But then I started noticing weird behavior at the bus stop | 但后来我开始注意到车站的怪事 |
| 284 | He'd take longer to come home | 他回家需要更长的时间 |
| 285 | He wouldn't leave until she left | 他不会离开,直到她离开 |
| 286 | I spiraled and eventually checked his phone | 我一转身就检查了他的手机 |
| 287 | They were still texting | 他们还在发短信 |
| 288 | Who would have guessed? | 谁会猜到? |
| 289 | Who? | 谁? |
| 290 | Who has a magic crystal ball bro? | 谁有神奇的水晶球兄弟? |
| 291 | Come on dude | 来吧,伙计 |
| 292 | He had her notifications silenced and regularly deleted messages | 他的告示不公开 经常删除 |
| 293 | Anytime I asked he denied they were talking | 每当我问他否认他们在说话 |
| 294 | Cheaters love to lie | 骗子喜欢说谎 |
| 295 | And I know it's technically poly but cheaters love to lie | 我知道技术上很复杂 但骗子喜欢撒谎 |
| 296 | And they can't help themselves | 而且他们无法自拔 |
| 297 | Once it became regular again and I decided to confront him | 一旦它再次成为常态 我决定和他对抗 |
| 298 | He said he hid it because he didn't know how I'd react | 他说他藏起来是因为不知道我的反应 |
| 299 | And was worried I'd do something reckless and hurt her | 还担心我会做一些鲁莽的事 伤害她 |
| 300 | He was more upset that I looked at his phone than that he lied | 他更不高兴我看着他的电话 而不是他撒谎 |
| 301 | He's told me multiple times to get a grip | 他告诉我很多次了,要抓紧点 |
| 302 | Yeah, I would crash out | 是啊,我会崩溃的 |
| 303 | Get a grip | 振作点 |
| 304 | We're fighting | 我们在战斗 |
| 305 | Right there | 就在这里 |
| 306 | Just kidding | 开玩笑的 |
| 307 | We're not fighting | 我们不是打架 |
| 308 | And that my reactions are why people are afraid to be themselves | 我的反应就是人们害怕自己 |
| 309 | Dude this is like such manipulation | 哥们儿,这就像操纵 |
| 310 | I'm not like an expert on all the manipulation terms | 我不像一个专家 所有的操纵术语 |
| 311 | But I can see that shit | 但我看得出来 |
| 312 | If I see that shit I know bro | 如果我看到那狗屎,我知道哥们 |
| 313 | That's insane | 这太疯狂了 |
| 314 | He's very manipulative | 他很会操纵 |
| 315 | Now I feel like a shell of a person | 现在,我觉得自己像 一个人的壳 |
| 316 | I can barely get out of bed | 我几乎无法起床 |
| 317 | The only reason I function at all is because of our kids | 我工作的唯一原因 是因为我们的孩子 |
| 318 | And because my income supports most of the household | 因为我的收入能维持大部分家庭 |
| 319 | I do most of the cooking and cleaning but I can't keep up | 我做大部分的烹饪和清洁,但我无法跟上 |
| 320 | Our finances are spiraling because I can't stay on top of anything | 我们的财源不断攀升,因为我不能在一切之上 |
| 321 | My mental and physical health have taken a toll | 我的身心健康受到了伤害 |
| 322 | Yeah your husband is just a leech | 是啊,你丈夫只是一只水獭 |
| 323 | He's just using you for financial stability and everything | 他只是利用你来维持金融稳定 |
| 324 | While he wants to go out and have sex with other people | 他想出去和别人做爱 |
| 325 | While you take all the mental burden of it | 当你承担了一切的心理负担 |
| 326 | While and he just like goes out has fun | 而他却喜欢出去玩 |
| 327 | And if you try to show interest in anyone else go on a date | 如果你对别人有兴趣 就去约会 |
| 328 | Not allowed not allowed only him one-sided | 不允许只允许他一边倒 |
| 329 | I feel like my entire life is disintegrating and somehow it's my fault | 我觉得我的整个生活正在瓦解 不知怎的,是我的错 |
| 330 | 碞钩狦и秨 端甡 reactive | |
| 331 | How do I stop spiraling and regain control of my life and my marriage | 我怎样才能停止螺旋 重新控制我的生活和婚姻 |
| 332 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}TLDR先生想要多聚体 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}已经有人排队了 | |
| 333 | Lied about cutting her off gets mad if I date | 我跟她约会,她就生气了 |
| 334 | Tells me to get a grip I'm barely functioning | 让我振作起来,我几乎无法运作 |
| 335 | Leave him leave him any even one of those reasons are enough to leave him | 离开他,不管他有什么原因 都足以离开他 |
| 336 | All those reasons together | 所有这些原因 |
| 337 | Leave him leave him leave him leave him | 别管他 别管他 |
| 338 | All the comments better be just leave | 所有的评论最好都离开 |
| 339 | Let's read the comments | 我们来读读评论 |
| 340 | First comment you can't come out as poly | 第一评语不能以多端形式出来 |
| 341 | Poly is a relationship type not an orientation | Poly是关系类型,不是方向 |
| 342 | People who say otherwise are trying to force you into relationship types without your consent | 别人不这么说,就想强迫你做恋人 |
| 343 | If you ask the poly subreddit it's the first thing they'll tell you | 如果你问多管分管 这是他们会告诉你的第一件事 |
| 344 | It's called poly bombing | 这叫做多轰炸 |
| 345 | Well I didn't know that but now I do | 我不知道,但现在我知道了 |
| 346 | Yep I've been polyam for 17 years now I wouldn't touch the guy with a 10-foot pole | 是啊,我已经 聚氨酯17年了 现在,我不会碰的家伙 用10英尺的柱子 |
| 347 | He's exhibiting all the red flags of a man who just wants to get with a new woman | 他正在展示一个男人的红旗 他只想和一个新女人在一起 |
| 348 | And frames it as poly | 并设定为多 |
| 349 | Even if he had the best interest in being poly for years and years big if | 即使他有最大的利益 成为多元多年大,如果 |
| 350 | He still needs to take the topic slowly and respect your boundaries | 他还是需要慢慢来 尊重你的界限 |
| 351 | If he doesn't give a shit about his long-term partner's feelings | 如果他不关心他长期伴侣的感受 |
| 352 | He isn't going to give a shit about any other partner's feelings in the future | 将来他不会在乎其他搭档的感情 |
| 353 | I'm also willing to bet if opi ever dated anyone seriously | 我敢打赌,如果Opi曾经与任何人认真约会 |
| 354 | And was even a tiny bit physical with someone else | 和别人有一点肉体关系 |
| 355 | Her husband is going to have a massive meltdown | 她丈夫要崩溃了 |
| 356 | And she's going to end up doing a ton of emotional labor caring for him | 她会做一吨的情感劳动 照顾他 |
| 357 | Husband is a piece of shit opi deserves so much better I'm so sorry | 丈夫是一块狗屎 opi值得如此多的好 对不起 |
| 358 | That's incredibly painful and unfair | 这太痛苦和不公平了 |
| 359 | opi 回复 | |
| 360 | That's basically already happened when I brought up the fact that I was | 这基本上已经发生 当我提出的事实,我是 |
| 361 | Potentially open to kissing someone I had been seeing | 可能愿意亲吻我见过的人 |
| 362 | He fell apart pretty badly | 他摔得很厉害 |
| 363 | He said he was breaking down and would probably have to take extended time off work for mental health | 他说他快崩溃了 可能得延长工作时间 才能获得心理健康 |
| 364 | And it would always be an issue with my communication | 这总是我沟通的问题 |
| 365 | God he's manipulative | 上帝,他是操纵 |
| 366 | If he doesn't want a poly relationship he wants to cheat with impunity | 如果他不想多情关系,他想欺骗而不受惩罚 |
| 367 | Sounds like he's made that pretty clear | 听起来他说得很清楚 |
| 368 | You're his safety net | 你是他的保险网 |
| 369 | I hate suggesting just move on with married people | 我讨厌建议跟已婚的人继续生活 |
| 370 | But from what it sounds like your marriage is already over | 但从你的婚姻已经结束了 |
| 371 | Worried I'd do something reckless and hurt her | 担心我会做一些鲁莽的事情 伤害她 |
| 372 | This should make it obvious | 这应该很明显 |
| 373 | Either he's lying to you so he can keep seeing her | 要么他骗你 这样他才能继续见到她 |
| 374 | Or he cares about her more than you because he's trying to protect her | 或者他比你更关心她 因为他想保护她 |
| 375 | Regardless of his actions though it destroys your mental health | 不论他的行为如何 虽然它会破坏你的精神健康 |
| 376 | And he's made it clear this is what he's going to do with or without your blessing | 他已经说清楚了 不管有没有你的祝福 他都会这么做 |
| 377 | I'm glad everyone in the comments agrees | 我很高兴大家在评论中都同意 |
| 378 | This guy just wants to sleep with other people without the guilt | 这家伙只是想和别人上床 而不负罪感 |
| 379 | Without losing you and having you as a safety net | 不要失去你,让你成为安全网 |
| 380 | Having you pay for everything, cook, clean, take care of the kids, do everything | 有你支付一切,烹饪,清洁,照顾孩子,做一切 |
| 381 | While he just goes out enjoys a bunch of relationships | 趁他出去玩的时候 玩得很开心 |
| 382 | Sleeps with women and does all this stuff | 和女人睡觉 做这些事情 |
| 383 | Meanwhile you have to do all the work | 同时你必须做所有的工作 |
| 384 | Go to work, do everything | 继续工作,做一切 |
| 385 | And if you want to get into a relationship with someone else then he shuts down | 如果你想和别人谈恋爱,他就关门了 |
| 386 | Oh I can't go to work | 哦,我不能去工作了,我无法去工作 |
| 387 | I can't do anything | 我无能为力 |
| 388 | But I'm going to go see my third girlfriend at 2pm | 我下午2点要去见我的第三女友 |
| 389 | And my fifth one at 6pm | 我下午6点的第五场 |
| 390 | Get out of here | 滚开 |
| 391 | Break up with this guy | 和这家伙分手 |
| 392 | Terrible guy | 讨厌的家伙 |
| 393 | Fuck this guy bro | 他妈的这家伙,兄弟 |
| 394 | ưμ㼯A | |
| 395 | My 30 male girlfriend 26 female slept with her boss to get a promotion | 我30个男女友 26个女的跟老板上床 升职 |
| 396 | But now regrets it | 但现在后悔了 |
| 397 | We're in a one year relationship and we work in the same industry | 我们的关系是一年 我们在同一行业工作 |
| 398 | Different companies | 不同的公司 |
| 399 | She said at the start of our relationship while I was out of town she had a company outing | 她说我出城时 她有公司外出 |
| 400 | Her then boss at the time invited folks over to his place | 她当时的老板邀请人们来他家 |
| 401 | She ended up being the last one to leave and ended up making out with her boss | 她最后还是最后一个离开 最后和她老板亲热 |
| 402 | She said they cuddled topless and talked on the couch for a while | 她说,他们拥抱 无顶 和在沙发上谈了一段时间 |
| 403 | But then went home later that night with nothing else escalating | 但当晚晚些时候回家,没有其他事情升级 |
| 404 | Mind you her boss was never aware that she was in a relationship | 提醒你,她老板从不知道她有关系 |
| 405 | I asked her why she would do such a thing | 我问她为什么要做这种事 |
| 406 | And her justification was that she didn't mean to cheat or see him romantically | 她的理由是 她不是有意欺骗或 浪漫地见到他 |
| 407 | But felt that if she didn't please him somehow | 但觉得如果她不取悦他 |
| 408 | She might not progress in the company or get promotions | 她可能不会在公司进步或升职 |
| 409 | The next morning she said she regretted justifying herself in that way | 第二天早上,她说她后悔 以这种方式为自己辩护 |
| 410 | And that she was only trying to be strategic in the moment | 而她只是试图 战略在此刻 |
| 411 | I told her I needed some time to process all of this | 我告诉她我需要一些时间来处理这一切 |
| 412 | But she's been texting me every day saying how much she loves me | 但她每天都给我发短信 说她有多爱我 |
| 413 | And that she regrets her actions and wants us to stay together forever | 她后悔自己的行为 想要我们永远在一起 |
| 414 | Honestly they probably slept together | 老实说 他们可能睡在一起了 |
| 415 | I'm not trying to like say that definitely happened | 我不想说那绝对是发生过的 |
| 416 | But come on bro | 但是,来吧,兄弟 |
| 417 | You made out with your boss and then you cuddled topless for a couple hours | 你和你老板亲热了,然后抱了几个小时 |
| 418 | But you didn't have sex | 但你没有做爱 |
| 419 | Like she most likely had sex with him and she's just trying to hide that part | 就像她很可能和他发生性关系 她只是想隐藏那部分 |
| 420 | But even if she didn't everything she did is still cheating and still bad | 但即使她没有做 她所做的一切 仍然是欺骗和仍然糟糕 |
| 421 | That's more than enough reason to end the relationship | 这已经足够结束关系了 |
| 422 | You cannot trust someone after they do something like this | 你不能相信别人做这种事 |
| 423 | You can't compromise your values just for some material gain like a promotion | 你不能为了晋升这样的物质利益而牺牲自己的价值 |
| 424 | You compromising love, a relationship, a future with someone for that | 你破坏爱情, 关系, 未来与某人为此 |
| 425 | Is someone with weak morals, a weak character and weak values | 是一个品德不高,品格不高,价值不高的人 |
| 426 | And that's someone you don't want to be with long term anyway | τ硂琌ぃ稱蛤 |
| 427 | Especially not forever | 尤其是不会永远 |
| 428 | I get that she needs support from me after this story | 我知道这个故事之后 她需要我的支持 |
| 429 | But also it's time to end the relationship ASAP | 也是时候尽快结束关系了 |
| 430 | Is it not? | 是吗? |
| 431 | Yes, yes it is | 对,对 |
| 432 | TLDR girlfriend slept with her boss without telling me | TLDR女朋友没告诉我就和她老板上床了 |
| 433 | But she regrets it and wants to stay together with me | 但她后悔了,想和我在一起 |
| 434 | If it's still her current boss | 如果还是她现在的老板 |
| 435 | Do you think that's never going to happen again? | 你觉得那不会再发生吗? |
| 436 | And even if it never happens again | 即使再也不发生 |
| 437 | Do you think mentally you'll be able to be okay and be like stable enough | 你觉得你的精神会好起来吗? |
| 438 | Knowing that her boss is someone she slept with? | 知道她老板是她睡过的人吗? |
| 439 | I don't think so | 我不这么认为 |
| 440 | And I don't think that's something you want to go through every single day | 我不认为你每天都想经历这种事 |
| 441 | Every time she goes to work thinking | 每次她去工作时都会想 |
| 442 | Do they have some sort of secret relationship? | 他们有某种秘密关系吗? |
| 443 | That's going to make you go crazy and make you paranoid | 那会让你发疯,让你发狂 |
| 444 | Maybe stalk her, check her phone, go to her work, see what she's doing | 也许跟踪她,检查她的手机, 去她的工作,看看她在做什么 |
| 445 | It's not worth it | 这不值得 |
| 446 | Just end it and go find someone else that you can actually trust | 只要结束它,去寻找 别人,你可以真正信任 |
| 447 | Someone that chooses you, prioritizes you and has the same values as you | 选择你,优先排序你 和你一样的价值观 |
| 448 | That's what you need | 这就是你需要的 |
| 449 | Let's read some of the comments | 让我们来读一些评论 |
| 450 | So she's a cheater and has no integrity | 所以她是个骗子,没有正直 |
| 451 | I think it's a very easy decision of what to do here | 我认为这是非常容易的决定 在这里做什么 |
| 452 | Exactly | 没错 |
| 453 | Yeah everyone's focused on the cheating | 是啊,每个人都专注于 欺骗 |
| 454 | But the maybe I can sleep my way to the top is just bad if not worse | 但也许我能睡到顶端 可能很糟 |
| 455 | Yeah that's what I'm saying | 是啊,这就是我要说的 |
| 456 | Like her character, her morals, bad | 像她的性格,她的道德,坏 |
| 457 | You don't want to be with someone that thinks that they can get to the top | 你不想跟一个认为能登顶的人在一起 |
| 458 | By compromising themselves and their morals | 牺牲自己和道德 |
| 459 | And just like sleeping their way to the top | 就像睡到顶端一样 |
| 460 | You don't want to be with someone like that | 你不想和那样的人在一起 |
| 461 | You can't, you can't be | 你无法,你不能 |
| 462 | How is that just as bad from OP's perspective as being cheated on? | 从OP的角度来看,这和被欺骗一样糟糕吗? |
| 463 | They mean the sleeping to the top is just as bad if not worse | 他们的意思是睡在顶部 和睡在最糟糕的地方一样 |
| 464 | Than cheating thing for her character | 她的性格比作弊还重要 |
| 465 | Because it's something that would still be worth breaking up over | 因为这还是值得分手的 |
| 466 | Even if it happened before they got together | 就算是在他们聚在一起之前 |
| 467 | That's true | 没错 |
| 468 | If I ever got into a relationship and I found out that in the past | 如果我有过一段恋情,我发现过去 |
| 469 | My partner slept with someone or slept with people to get certain things | 我搭档和别人上床 或和别人上床 得到一些东西 |
| 470 | Either a promotion or something else | 升职还是别的 |
| 471 | I would not be with them for very much longer | 我不会再和他们在一起了 |
| 472 | I would end things with them | 我会和他们结束一切 |
| 473 | You don't want to be with someone that's able to do that | 你不会想跟一个能做到的人在一起的 |
| 474 | Because who's to say they wouldn't do that in the future? | 因为谁会说他们将来不会这么做? |
| 475 | Even if at the time they were single or something | 就算是单身还是什么的 |
| 476 | Sticky Marmalade commented | 粘粘的玛玛莉叶评论 |
| 477 | She said they cuddled topless | 她说他们拥抱无顶 |
| 478 | That's a classic half truth lol | 那是个经典的半个真理 |
| 479 | Do you really think two consenting adults started making out, taking clothes off | 你真的认为两个同意的成年人 开始做爱,脱掉衣服 |
| 480 | And then just actually nah that's good enough | 然后,其实不,这是足够的 |
| 481 | They had sex | 他们做爱了 |
| 482 | Yeah that's what I said | 是啊,这就是我说的 |
| 483 | Huh so those are your boobs | 嗯,所以,这是你的胸部 |
| 484 | Anyway, Jeff in Accounts has really been putting in low effort at work | 总之,Jeff在账务部的工作 一直很不努力 |
| 485 | I've enjoyed seeing your nipples | 我很高兴看到你的乳头 |
| 486 | That is enough entertainment for me tonight | 今晚够我娱乐了 |
| 487 | Thanks | 谢谢 |
| 488 | I hate being titillated | 我最讨厌被人打 |
| 489 | Angela Martin | 安吉拉·马丁 |
| 490 | Bro what? | 哥们什么? |
| 491 | Yeah they had sex | 是啊,他们做爱了 |
| 492 | No scenario where the flirty boss gets her top off | 不假想那个调情的老板把她的上衣脱下来 |
| 493 | And then stops to chat instead | 然后停下来聊天 |
| 494 | That's what I said | 我就是这么说的 |
| 495 | I'm glad to see people in the comments are agreeing | 我很高兴看到人们在评论中同意 |
| 496 | Charismatic Tic 评论 | |
| 497 | So she cares more about the progression of her career | 所以她更关心事业的发展 |
| 498 | Than she cares about being a decent human being | 比起她在乎一个体面的人 |
| 499 | Is that someone you want to be with? | 你想和他在一起吗? |
| 500 | Also she kept this from you for a really long time | 而且她一直瞒着你 |
| 501 | There are multiple betrayals here | 这里有很多背叛 |
| 502 | It's not worth staying with her | 不值得陪着她 |
| 503 | Yeah yeah that's really someone I would personally not be with | 是啊,是啊,真的一个人 我个人不会与 |
| 504 | And I don't think anyone should be with | 而且我不认为任何人应该与 |
| 505 | Because it just gives like such like cheater cheater vibes | 因为它只是给 像这样的欺骗者 欺骗气氛 |
| 506 | That you were okay with sleeping someone to get higher up in the company or position | 你和别人上床是为了在公司或岗位上 提高身手 |
| 507 | Yeah I think the right choice here for OP would just be to leave her | 是啊,我觉得这里正确的选择 OP只是离开她 |
| 508 | I mean you're still young you're only 30 | 我是说你还年轻 你才30岁 |
| 509 | That's like the prime of your life | 这就像你生命的黄金 |
| 510 | I'm sure you could find a girlfriend someone that will be loyal | 我相信你能找到一个忠诚的女朋友 |
| 511 | Have similar values to what you're looking for | 和你要找的东西有相似的价值 |
| 512 | And then maybe just be more selective | 然后也许只是有选择 |
| 513 | And don't jump into the first relationship that comes your way | 别跳进你走过的第一段恋情 |
| 514 | Feel it out | 感觉出来 |
| 515 | Get to know the person before committing anything | 在做任何事之前先了解这个人 |
| 516 | Hope you guys like this video | 希望你们喜欢这个视频 |
| 517 | If you want to see more from the r slash relationships | 如果你想从斜线上看到更多 |
| 518 | Let me know in the comments | 在评论中告诉我 |
| 519 | I'll see you guys next time | 下次见了 |
| 520 | Bye bye | 再见 |
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