（中英附文稿）从家人争吵到职场分歧：如何表达不同意见，又不把
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | How often do y'all fight? | 你们多久打一次? |
| 0:02 | Truly? | 真的吗? |
| 0:03 | Like off camera, on camera? | 像离镜头,在镜头? |
| 0:07 | I would say, sometimes we have different answers for this because we have different sort of | 我想说,有时候我们有不同的答案 因为我们有不同的类型 |
| 0:10 | expectations of inner peace. | 对内心和平的期望。 |
| 0:12 | But I'd say we've been, we have been a lot better the last like | 但我会说,我们一直, 我们已经好多了,最后喜欢 |
| 0:17 | few months, but in general, I'd say we have a pretty volatile relationship. | 但总的来说,我们的关系很不稳定 |
| 0:23 | What do you not say to that? | 你怎么不说? |
| 0:23 | Volatile? | 挥霍? |
| 0:24 | I mean, that's shots fired. | 我的意思是,这是射击。 |
展开字幕全文（1401 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | How often do y'all fight? | 你们多久打一次? |
| 2 | Truly? | 真的吗? |
| 3 | Like off camera, on camera? | 像离镜头,在镜头? |
| 4 | I would say, sometimes we have different answers for this because we have different sort of | 我想说,有时候我们有不同的答案 因为我们有不同的类型 |
| 5 | expectations of inner peace. | 对内心和平的期望。 |
| 6 | But I'd say we've been, we have been a lot better the last like | 但我会说,我们一直, 我们已经好多了,最后喜欢 |
| 7 | few months, but in general, I'd say we have a pretty volatile relationship. | 但总的来说,我们的关系很不稳定 |
| 8 | What do you not say to that? | 你怎么不说? |
| 9 | Volatile? | 挥霍? |
| 10 | I mean, that's shots fired. | 我的意思是,这是射击。 |
| 11 | I mean, that's a, I would not say- | 我的意思是,这是一个,我不会说... |
| 12 | Yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty- | 是啊,这是漂亮的,这是漂亮的 -- |
| 13 | Like volatile is like an insane, like that's an insane thing to say, but continue. | 挥发性就像一个疯子, 就像一个疯狂的事情说,但继续。 |
| 14 | What's the last few months? | 最近几个月怎么样? |
| 15 | Sarah has a higher threshold for chaos in her life than I do. | 莎拉一生的混乱程度比我高 |
| 16 | Sarah has a higher threshold | 莎拉有一个更高的门槛 |
| 17 | for like fighting and screaming. | 喜欢打架和尖叫。 |
| 18 | Like it doesn't affect her the same way it affects me. | 感觉不像她那样影响我 |
| 19 | So for me, | 对我来说 |
| 20 | I have, I fight with Sarah more than I fight with anybody else in my life. | 我有,我与莎拉的战斗 比我一生中与任何人的战斗都多。 |
| 21 | So it feels much | 所以感觉很好 |
| 22 | higher for me, but for her, she's just sort of like, maybe she can, she, it doesn't like disrupt | 对我更高,但对她来说, 她只是有点像, 也许她可以,她, 它不喜欢扰乱 |
| 23 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 24 | I think that you, if, if you didn't bury your feelings towards other people and have such a, | 我想你,如果,如果你不 埋葬你的感情 对别人,有这样的, |
| 25 | like a threshold for it sort of thing, like you'd fight with them more, but because you | 就像一个阈值 那种事情, 像你会和他们打 更多,但因为你 |
| 26 | hold nothing back with me, you lean into it more. | 对我没有什么退缩,你更倾向于它。 |
| 27 | There are other people and don't, I'll list names | 还有别人没有,我列个名字 |
| 28 | where you are like annoyed and resentful and have deep feelings, but you just don't go there. | 在那里你就像烦恼和怨恨 和有深刻的感情, 但你只是不去那里。 |
| 29 | But | 不过 |
| 30 | with me, it's sort of like, you're just down to go there. | 和我,这有点像, 你只是下来去那里。 |
| 31 | Am I correct? | 我说得对吗? |
| 32 | Maybe not. | 也许不是。 |
| 33 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 34 | I think it's partially true. | 我认为这是部分事实。 |
| 35 | I think it's partially true, but there's just something | 我觉得这部分是真的,但有件事 |
| 36 | about Sarah that really grinds my gears. | 关于莎拉 那真的磨我的齿轮。 |
| 37 | Well, I mean, if you were, if you were not, | 好吧,我的意思是,如果你是,如果你没有, |
| 38 | if you were not sisters, right? | 如果你不是姐妹,对不对? |
| 39 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 40 | If you know that there is, this is a relationship that it's | 如果你知道有,这是一种关系 |
| 41 | not like you can get out of it. | 不像你可以摆脱它。 |
| 42 | You're, you're going to be sisters. | 你,你会成为姐妹。 |
| 43 | You think that plays a role | 你觉得这有作用吗? |
| 44 | in, you know, what, what is it about sibling communications so much? | 在,你知道,什么, 什么是关于兄弟沟通这么多? |
| 45 | Well, don't you think | 你不觉得吗? |
| 46 | Jefferson, do you have siblings? | 杰斐逊 你有兄弟姐妹吗? |
| 47 | I'm the oldest of four. | 我是四个中最年长的 |
| 48 | Oh, okay. | 哦,还好。 |
| 49 | So you have a lot of siblings. | 所以你们有很多兄弟姐妹 |
| 50 | So | 这么说 |
| 51 | it's like, there's so many things baked into that relationship. | 就像,有这么多的东西 烤在这种关系。 |
| 52 | It's not just a friendship. | 这不仅仅是友谊 |
| 53 | It's | 这是 |
| 54 | like, this is the parent to your nieces and nephews you want a relationship with, right? | 这是你侄女和侄子的家长 你想和他们建立关系,对吧? |
| 55 | These are | 这些是 |
| 56 | the, this is the person who is sort of in lockstep with you in decisions you make about your parents. | 就是这个人 在你决定你父母的事时 跟你在一起 |
| 57 | And it's, it's a relationship that you can't just sort of sever because you're not getting along, | 而这是,这是一个关系 你不能只是 那种断交 因为你不相处, |
| 58 | because there's all these other things that are connected. | 因为还有其他东西是相连的 |
| 59 | So there are so many things that keep | 所以有很多东西可以保留 |
| 60 | you coming back. | 你回来。 |
| 61 | It's not just a girlfriend that you can call once a week and sort of ignore the | 不只是一个女朋友 你可以每周打一次电话 并且有点忽略 |
| 62 | rest of their life if you disagree with it or like you don't, aren't aligned and you're not in the | 他们的余生,如果你不同意 或像你没有, 不结盟,你不在 |
| 63 | same place in each other's lives. | 彼此生活中一样的地方 |
| 64 | So I think for Sarah and I, there's that. | 所以,我想萨拉和我, 就是这样。 |
| 65 | And then there is on | 接下来是 |
| 66 | top of it, our business relationship. | 最重要的是 我们的生意关系 |
| 67 | And so there are so many different sectors to our | 所以,我们有很多不同的部门 |
| 68 | relationship that we sort of are forced to keep re-examining it and keep finding common ground, | 那种关系,我们被迫 继续重新审视它 并不断寻找共同点, |
| 69 | which is good for us. | 这对我们有好处。 |
| 70 | Cause I think if we didn't have all of those connector points, then maybe | 因为我想如果我们没有所有这些连接点, 那么也许 |
| 71 | some of our fights would have like lingered a lot longer. | 我们的战斗中有些会更长时间 |
| 72 | I also think that I'm just held to a | 我也认为,我只是持有 |
| 73 | different standard than anyone else in her life. | 她的生活跟其他人的标准不同 |
| 74 | And I've always felt like that. | 我一直有这种感觉 |
| 75 | And I've communicated | 我已经传达 |
| 76 | that to you. | 对你来说 |
| 77 | I feel like a lot of people get away with a lot of things that I don't get away | 我觉得很多人会因为很多事情而逃脱 我无法逃避 |
| 78 | with in her, under her microscope, you know? | 在她的显微镜下 |
| 79 | And listen, I would not say we have a volatile | 听着,我不会说我们有一个不稳定 |
| 80 | relationship. | 关系。 |
| 81 | I would say that we have a really good relationship. | 我想说我们的关系很好 |
| 82 | And therein lies the difference. | 与众不同 |
| 83 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 84 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 85 | Well, I think you have. | 嗯,我想你有过。 |
| 86 | Well, to me it's like, well, I know my parents are my siblings. | 对我来说,就像,嗯, 我知道我的父母是我的兄弟姐妹。 |
| 87 | There are times when our relationship is volatile because it can go up and down because this person, | 有时我们的关系很不稳定 因为它可以上下游 因为这个人 |
| 88 | when the closer they are to you, the more emotional the conversations become because they're also | 当他们离你越近时, 谈话就越情绪化 因为他们也是 |
| 89 | historical. | 历史。 |
| 90 | And so often it's continuous to repeat in the same pattern. | 并且经常以相同的模式不断重复. |
| 91 | And it's like you, | 就像你一样 |
| 92 | at least in my family, you each kind of take your own slot, your own role that you feel like you've | 至少在我家里 你们每个人都有自己的位置 自己的角色 |
| 93 | had your whole life. | 拥有你的一生。 |
| 94 | So you kind of revert back and sibling conversation to, okay, who's the | 所以,你有点回 和兄弟谈话,好吧,谁是 |
| 95 | responsible one? | 负责的? |
| 96 | Who's the black sheep? | 黑羊是谁? |
| 97 | Who's the person who throws a fit? | 发火的人是谁? |
| 98 | Who's the person who | 谁才是 |
| 99 | always tries to be the adult? | 总是想成为成年人? |
| 100 | And then you get stuck in those roles. | 然后你被困在这些角色。 |
| 101 | You get stuck in those roles. | 你被困在这些角色。 |
| 102 | To me, when I hear you saying, yeah, I feel like I'm held to a different standard, | 对我而言,当我听到你说, 是的,我觉得我被束缚在一个不同的标准, |
| 103 | my question that comes up to my mind is, would that not be a little scary if you weren't? | 我的问题是,如果你不是,那会不会有点吓人? |
| 104 | There is a reason why the closer you are, the easier it is to hurt. | 你越靠近 伤害就越容易 |
| 105 | It wouldn't really much | 不会太多的 |
| 106 | matter otherwise. | 问题不在此列。 |
| 107 | Do you all find that- It's a good point. | 你们都觉得... 说得有道理. |
| 108 | Jeffers 说得好 | |
| 109 | I know | и笵 |
| 110 | this is what we're turning this into therapy, but there are some people in my life where when they | 这就是我们把它变成治疗, 但我生活中有一些人,当他们 |
| 111 | do things they disagree with or whatever, I just sort of block it out because I'm sort of like, | 做他们不同意的事或什么的, 我只是有点挡住它 因为我有点像, |
| 112 | I don't really need, I don't aspire to have a better relationship with that person. | 我并不需要,我并不想和他有更好的关系 |
| 113 | I don't | 我没有 |
| 114 | aspire to feel close to that person. | 渴望亲近他 |
| 115 | But with Sarah, it's like, I always want it to be high | 但与莎拉,它就像, 我一直希望它是高 |
| 116 | functioning. | 运行。 |
| 117 | And when I say volatile, what I think is that it's really hard for Sarah and I to have | 当我说波动时 我觉得莎拉和我很难 |
| 118 | conflict that stays healthy. | 冲突保持健康。 |
| 119 | If we have conflict, it gets to yelling quickly or it gets to a high | 如果我们有冲突,它会很快大喊大叫,或者它得到一个高点。 |
| 120 | boiling point where I would love for us to have conflict that stays. | 沸腾点,我喜欢我们有冲突 留下来。 |
| 121 | And that's why I say we've | 这就是为什么我说,我们已经 |
| 122 | been doing better the last few months because I've felt like I've been able to bring things up | 过去几个月表现得更好 因为我觉得自己能把事情提起来 |
| 123 | where we can have a conversation instead of an argument. | 在那里我们可以有一个谈话 而不是争论。 |
| 124 | It just goes to arguing quickly. | 它只是去争论迅速。 |
| 125 | It dysregulates me having argument with somebody. | 这让我很难和别人争吵 |
| 126 | Right. | 对 |
| 127 | And I think also with siblings in particular, | 我特别想和兄弟姐妹们 |
| 128 | and you all have such a wild dynamic from sisters, friends, business partners. | 姐妹、朋友、生意伙伴 都充满活力 |
| 129 | I mean, you all have a very, if you want to call it a blended family, like there's a lot, | 我的意思是,你们都有一个非常, 如果你想称它是一个混合的家庭, 像有很多, |
| 130 | you have a public family. | 你有一个公共家庭。 |
| 131 | There's a lot that goes into that. | 这里面有很多东西 |
| 132 | And that when you have this person | 当你有了这个人 |
| 133 | that you've close with, and usually in bigger families too in mind, like you might be closer | 你和他们很亲近 通常在大家族里也一样 |
| 134 | to one family member than the other one sibling than the other, it's because they get to see all | 给一个家庭成员 而不是另一个兄弟 是因为他们可以看到所有 |
| 135 | your messy. | 你的乱七八糟。 |
| 136 | They get to see the mess that other people don't, they don't see. | 他们能看到别人没有的混乱 他们看不到 |
| 137 | And that's for good | 这是为好 |
| 138 | and for bad. | 和为坏. |
| 139 | Do you feel Jefferson in your siblings? | 你觉得杰斐逊在你的兄弟姐妹? |
| 140 | Because this is what you do professionally | 因为这是你专业的工作 |
| 141 | is like conflict resolution, right? | 这就像解决冲突,对不对? |
| 142 | This is your specialty, but then you're a human being like | 这是你的专长, 但你是一个人喜欢 |
| 143 | anyone else. | 别人。 |
| 144 | So are there dynamics with your siblings where they can really push your buttons | 和你的兄弟姐妹有动态 他们可以按下你的按钮 |
| 145 | in the way that somebody else can't, or you start to resolve something and they're like, | 以别人不能的方式, 或者你开始解决一些事情 他们喜欢, |
| 146 | don't do that fucking lawyer bullshit with me. | 别跟我做那些狗屁律师 |
| 147 | I know who you are, Jefferson. | 我知道你是谁 杰斐逊 |
| 148 | You're still that | 你还是这样 |
| 149 | 13 year old, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | 年十三,卒,赠太常卿. |
| 150 | Like, what's that like? | 怎么样? |
| 151 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 152 | I love, I thought this was my podcast y'all, geez. | 我爱,我以为这是我的播客 你们,天哪。 |
| 153 | I know, I turned it around on you. | 我知道,我把它转过来给你。 |
| 154 | That was good. | 这是很好的。 |
| 155 | That was, that was a producer move. | 那是个制作人的动作 |
| 156 | She's, she's written some things, | 她,她写了一些东西, |
| 157 | very producer move of you. | 非常的制作人移动你。 |
| 158 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 159 | For me, it is absolutely the case where it's | 对我来说,绝对是这样的 |
| 160 | just because you have success, it doesn't change who you are, who they've always known you to be. | 只是因为你有成功, 它不会改变你是谁, 他们一直知道你是谁。 |
| 161 | I'm the oldest of four. | 我是四个中最年长的 |
| 162 | They call me Bubba. | 他们叫我布巴 |
| 163 | So my siblings still call me | 所以,我的兄弟姐妹仍然打电话给我 |
| 164 | Bubba even now. | 布巴甚至现在。 |
| 165 | So it's just, it's just kind of part of that's very Southern. | 所以它只是,它只是 那种部分 这是非常南方。 |
| 166 | Where'd that come from? | 哪里来的? |
| 167 | It's a Southern thing. | 南无事. |
| 168 | Usually the oldest is reserved for that title. | 通常,最年长者被保留给该头衔。 |
| 169 | That's so interesting. | 这太有趣了 |
| 170 | Cause like in Jewish culture, Bubby is like grandma. | 因为像犹太文化,巴比就像奶奶。 |
| 171 | Oh yeah, that's funny. | 哦,是的,这很有趣。 |
| 172 | And so it feels very like paternal. | 所以感觉就像父亲 |
| 173 | Right. | 对 |
| 174 | Yeah, I guess so. | 是的,我想是这样。 |
| 175 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 176 | It's Bubba. | 这是布巴。 |
| 177 | So usually the oldest is called Bubba. | 所以通常最老的叫布巴. |
| 178 | And so | 这样 |
| 179 | it's a loving term, but also, yeah, they know if it's like, Hey, look, okay, Mr. Communicator. | 这是一个爱的术语,但也,是的, 他们知道如果它像,嘿,看,好吧,先生,通讯员。 |
| 180 | Because I can, I don't have to put anything on. | 因为我可以,我不需要穿任何东西。 |
| 181 | I don't have to put anything on with them. | 我用不着穿什么 |
| 182 | I can just be, they can see, they've known, they've seen everything up close of all of my | 我只能,他们可以看到, 他们知道,他们已经看到的一切 接近我所有的 |
| 183 | faults, all of my problems, all of my mess. | 过失,我所有的问题,我所有的混乱。 |
| 184 | And I think it would mean something different if, | 我认为如果... |
| 185 | if they weren't, what's the, that's the way that y'all have found to disagree | 如果不是,什么是, 这就是你们发现不同意的方式 |
| 186 | when you, when you've disagreed effectively, what's typically been the course of action? | 当你,当你有 有效的分歧, 什么是典型的行动方针? |
| 187 | I'd say like using I statements, right? | 我想用我的说法,对不对? |
| 188 | Like for me, it feels this way as opposed to | 对我来说,它的感觉 与此相对 |
| 189 | like accusing the other person. | 就像指控别人一样 |
| 190 | I always say to Sarah, like for me, I can have any conversation. | 我总是对莎拉说,就像我一样, 我可以有任何谈话。 |
| 191 | It's just how it's brought to me. | 这只是它是如何带给我的。 |
| 192 | I feel very like sensitive to how something's brought up to me. | 我觉得很敏感 事情是如何告诉我的。 |
| 193 | So | 这么说 |
| 194 | if Sarah is like yelling at me or like snapping, I'm going to immediately shut down. | 如果莎拉像对我大吼大叫 或者像抓狂一样 我会立刻关闭 |
| 195 | But if you're like asking a question, then I can really hear it better. | 但如果你喜欢问一个问题,那么我真的能听到它更好。 |
| 196 | And so when it comes to | 所以当它涉及到 |
| 197 | favorite daughter, you know, when we're in fittings, we, I'm always like, if you would just say, Hey, | 最喜欢的女儿,你知道, 当我们在装配, 我们,我总是喜欢, 如果你只是说,嘿, |
| 198 | what do you think about it changing to this? | 换成这个怎么样? |
| 199 | I'm always going to listen. | 我总是要听。 |
| 200 | But if you like tell me, | 但如果你愿意告诉我 |
| 201 | you know, this is wrong, this is ugly and it has to be this way, then I immediately like will reject. | 你知道,这是错误的, 这是丑陋的, 它必须是这种方式, 然后我立刻喜欢拒绝。 |
| 202 | Like I have such a reaction and it's not even with Sarah. | 像我有这样的反应 而且它甚至没有与莎拉。 |
| 203 | It's like with work people in general. | 这就像一般的工作人。 |
| 204 | If someone tells me how it's going to go, it's like, I will fight to the ends of the earth | 如果有人告诉我它会怎样, 它就像,我会战斗到地球的尽头 |
| 205 | and just never give in. | 永远不要屈服 |
| 206 | Like I will never, I will be in a coffin still holding my ground. | 就像我永远不会, 我会在一个棺材 仍然坚持我的土地。 |
| 207 | But if I've asked the question, like I have, I can participate in the, in the solution that I'm like, | 但是,如果我问过问题, 像我一样, 我可以参与,在解决办法 我喜欢, |
| 208 | is that something you want to fix or you're just like down to be that way? | 你是想修补还是想修补? |
| 209 | Well, in, to me, someone as it, who's a partner telling me how things are going to go, | 嗯,在,对我来说,有人 作为它,谁的合伙人 告诉我如何去, |
| 210 | that's not how a partnership works. | 这不是一个伙伴关系如何工作。 |
| 211 | No, but you're saying, you're saying this is how you are like in life that it's like, if you feel | 不,但你的意思是,你是说 这是你的样子 在生活中,它就像,如果你感觉 |
| 212 | that kind of threat, you will go into your cough. | 那种威胁,你会咳嗽。 |
| 213 | Like I'm just saying, is that, are you just sort | 就像我说的,是,你只是排序 |
| 214 | of like, that's how I am and that's how I'll stay, or is it something you're trying to work on? | 喜欢,这就是我是什么, 我会如何留下, 还是这是你 试图工作的东西? |
| 215 | It's hard to say because it's like, it's not that I'm not trying to work on it. | 很难说,因为它就像, 我不是在试图工作。 |
| 216 | It's just, | 这只是, |
| 217 | I don't want to be in partnerships where the person doesn't come to me with like respectful | 我不想在别人不尊重我的地方合作 |
| 218 | resolution tactics, you know? | 解析策略,你知道吗? |
| 219 | So I guess if somebody is sort of like | 我想如果有人喜欢 |
| 220 | bullying me into something or manipulating me, then I'm, I don't see a reason to give in. | 欺负我,或操纵我,然后我,我看不出有任何理由屈服。 |
| 221 | But I know that that's stubborn. | 但我知道那很固执 |
| 222 | Yeah, I think we're both stubborn. | 是啊,我觉得我们都固执。 |
| 223 | Sarah, what do you? | 莎拉,你怎么样? |
| 224 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 225 | I mean, listen, I think we're both. | 我是说 听着 我觉得我们都是 |
| 226 | We're all three stubborn. | 三者执着. |
| 227 | Yeah, I think, I think we're both, I think we're both stubborn in all facets of our life and all | 是的,我想,我认为我们两个, 我认为我们都顽固 我们生活的各个方面,所有 |
| 228 | of our relationships. | 我们的关系。 |
| 229 | I think that the biggest thing that Erin and I have to overcome on both | 我想艾琳和我都得克服最大的问题 |
| 230 | sides is I think I have, I always felt, and we've talked about this on our podcast, we've talked | 侧面是,我认为我有, 我一直觉得, 我们已经谈论了这一点 在播客,我们已经谈过 |
| 231 | about, you know, in so many places, but is that Erin and I are very different people. | 关于,你知道, 在这么多的地方, 但这是艾琳和我是非常不同的人。 |
| 232 | We were | 我们是 |
| 233 | raised in the same home, but we did have different childhoods. | 但是我们有不同的童年 |
| 234 | And we have different wounds. | 我们有不同的伤口。 |
| 235 | We have | 我们有 |
| 236 | different wounds. | 不同的伤口。 |
| 237 | We have different triggers. | 我们有不同的触发器。 |
| 238 | We have different shit. | 我们有不同的狗屎。 |
| 239 | And it doesn't mean that one | 这并不意味着那个 |
| 240 | is more important than the other. | 这比另一个更重要 |
| 241 | But I think for Erin for a long time, it was like, it would crush | 但我认为艾琳很长一段时间, 它会粉碎 |
| 242 | her soul that I did not operate the same way she did in conflict, in relationships with our, | 她的灵魂,我并没有像她那样 在冲突中,与我们的关系, |
| 243 | whatever it is. | 无论它是什么。 |
| 244 | And I think, and maybe vice versa. | 我想,也许反之亦然。 |
| 245 | And I think we got to a place where it's like, | 我想我们到了一个地方,就像, |
| 246 | no, no, we're not the same people. | 不 不 我们不一样 |
| 247 | We're not the same people. | 我们不一样 |
| 248 | We feel differently about things. | 我们对事物有不同的感觉。 |
| 249 | We | 我们 |
| 250 | feel different. | 感觉不同 |
| 251 | Like we were different people. | 就像我们是不同的人 |
| 252 | And once I stopped managing how she was and she | 当我停止管理 如何她和她 |
| 253 | stopped managing how I was, we're not each other's sheriffs. | 我们不是彼此的警长 |
| 254 | And once you accept that, even if it's | 一旦你接受了这一点, 即使它是 |
| 255 | annoying, and even if, of course, of course, who doesn't want everyone around you to feel the same | 讨厌,即使,当然, 谁不希望你周围的人 感觉一样 |
| 256 | way about things as you? | 就像你一样? |
| 257 | It makes life a lot easier and it validates your feelings. | 这会让生活变得更容易 并证明你的感受。 |
| 258 | And it's not easy. | 则不易也. |
| 259 | But I think now, I think Erin just kind of like, Sarah, Sarah, I can't, I can't force her to feel | 但我现在想,我觉得艾琳只是有点像,莎拉,莎拉,我不能,我不能强迫她感觉 |
| 260 | this way about this person. | 这边是这个人 |
| 261 | I've definitely stopped pressuring Sarah to do things the way that I want | 我绝对不再逼Sarah做我想做的事了 |
| 262 | her to do things. | 让她做点什么 |
| 263 | Like I'm always have always been the person in the family that's like trying to get | 就像我一直都是 家庭里的人,就像试图得到 |
| 264 | everyone together and trying to like schedule hangs and, you know, I really try to push | 大家一起尝试 喜欢时间表挂,你知道, 我真的尝试推 |
| 265 | togetherness. | 团结 |
| 266 | And Sarah has always rejected that. | 而莎拉一直拒绝这一点。 |
| 267 | And it, for me, it was like, well, we can't get | 对我来说,我们无法 |
| 268 | together unless Sarah participates. | 除非莎拉参加 否则要一起 |
| 269 | Well, we can't make this happen until Sarah brings her kids. | 在莎拉带孩子之前 我们不能让这事发生 |
| 270 | Like it's like this missing piece that I was always trying to force. | 就像我一直试图强迫的这个缺失的作品一样 |
| 271 | Like you can't just be | 就像你无法只是 |
| 272 | the only one who says no. | 只有一个人说不。 |
| 273 | Like it disrupted everything. | 像它打乱了一切。 |
| 274 | And Sarah was very much like, | 莎拉非常喜欢, |
| 275 | leave me alone. | 别烦我 |
| 276 | I'm going to do my own thing. | 我会做我自己的事情。 |
| 277 | And so it's been hard. | 于是诸苦. |
| 278 | I mean, it's a little easier | 我的意思是,这有点容易 |
| 279 | now because I can connect. | 现在,因为我可以连接。 |
| 280 | I can go around her and I have my own child. | 我可以绕过她,我有自己的孩子。 |
| 281 | So now I have like a | 所以,现在我有一个 |
| 282 | bargaining chip, you know, of my own, but for a long time, I felt very cool. | 讨价还价的筹码,你知道,我自己的, 但很长一段时间,我觉得非常酷。 |
| 283 | You know, I felt that | 你知道,我觉得 |
| 284 | pool of yours. | 你的游泳池,你喜欢游泳池 |
| 285 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 286 | But I felt like very handcuffed to Sarah because it was like she held the keys. | 但我觉得对莎拉戴着很深的手铐 好像她拿着钥匙一样 |
| 287 | She was the first one of me and her and our little sister to have kids. | 她是我和她和我们妹妹中第一个生孩子的 |
| 288 | So it was like, she had these | 所以说,她有这些 |
| 289 | important elements to the, to the family and she just wouldn't respond, wouldn't call back, | 重要的元素 对于家庭 她只是不回应 也不会回电 |
| 290 | wouldn't commit. | 不会犯法的 |
| 291 | And it was like, it like really was very, very challenging for me to not just like | 它就像,它真的 是非常,非常挑战 我不只是喜欢 |
| 292 | show up at her house and like force her to do something. | 出现在她的房子 喜欢强迫她做一些事情。 |
| 293 | Before we keep going, a quick note on | 在我们继续前进之前,一个快讯 |
| 294 | every dollar. | 每个美元。 |
| 295 | Some of the hardest conversations you're going to have are conversations about | 你最难的谈话是... |
| 296 | money, especially in relationships. | 钱,特别是在关系上。 |
| 297 | And here's the thing, money conversations are not so much of a | 问题是 金钱对话不是那么简单 |
| 298 | problem. | 问题。 |
| 299 | They are a plan problem. | 他们是一个计划问题。 |
| 300 | That's where every dollar comes in. | 每一块钱都在这里 |
| 301 | It is an app that helps | 这是一个应用 帮助 |
| 302 | you create goals to put money behind certain things to where you have to stop guessing and | 你创造目标,把钱 背后某些事情,你必须停止猜测, |
| 303 | start asking, where did everything go? | 开始问,所有的东西都去了哪里? |
| 304 | When you make a plan for your money, everything goes smoothly | 当你为钱做计划时 一切都会顺利 |
| 305 | and you know what happens? | 你知道会发生什么吗? |
| 306 | The conversations go smoother too. | 对话也比较顺利。 |
| 307 | Right now give every dollar you spend | 现在给你花的每一块钱 |
| 308 | and every dollar after that, a real plan, try every dollar premium for free for 14 days, | 之后的每一美元, 一个真正的计划, 尝试每美元溢价免费14天, |
| 309 | full access on me. | 完全进入我。 |
| 310 | That's every dollar.com slash Jefferson and get every dollar premium | 这是每美元.com斜拉杰斐逊,得到每美元溢价 |
| 311 | for 14 days for free. | 14天免费。 |
| 312 | And now let's keep going. | 现在让我们继续前进。 |
| 313 | Sarah, what would you say if, if I, if you look | 莎拉,你会说什么,如果,如果我,如果你看 |
| 314 | at the last, let's say five years, three years, what's something you've had to unlearn about the | 最后,让我们说五年,三年, 什么是你不得不解开的东西 关于 |
| 315 | way you communicate? | 你如何沟通? |
| 316 | And I'm not, not talking just with Aaron, but I'm saying in business and life. | 我不是,不只是和亚伦说话, 而是说在商业和生活中。 |
| 317 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 318 | What have you had to about yourself unlearn how you communicate? | 你怎么不学如何沟通? |
| 319 | I think that the biggest thing for me, and I still haven't figured it out is vulnerability. | 我觉得对我来说最大的事情, 和我仍然不知道它是脆弱的。 |
| 320 | Like it's very hard for me to say, okay, but that really hurts my feelings or that makes me feel | 就像我很难说,好吧, 但是这真的伤害了我的感情 或者让我感觉 |
| 321 | unworthy. | 不值钱的 |
| 322 | Or when you do that, it makes me feel less than or like whatever the case may be, | 或者当你这样做, 它让我觉得 少或喜欢任何案件可能, |
| 323 | not just with Aaron, but literally just in life. | 不只是和亚伦在一起,而是在生活中 |
| 324 | I think, I think I'm so conditioned that that's | 我觉得,我觉得我是如此 有条件,这就是 |
| 325 | weakness and I need to, I've been trying to unlearn that. | 软弱,我需要,我一直在试图解开它。 |
| 326 | Like it's kind of like, I have to be tough. | 就像那样,我必须坚强 |
| 327 | I have to not care. | 我不必关心。 |
| 328 | Nothing affects me. | 没有什么影响我。 |
| 329 | I have to persevere. | 我必须坚持下去 |
| 330 | I have to just keep going and I will | 我必须继续走,我会的 |
| 331 | never let you see me falter. | 从来没有让你看到我动摇。 |
| 332 | I will not let you see that side of me because I'm tougher than that. | 我不会让你看到我的那一面 因为我更坚强。 |
| 333 | I'm like this in every aspect. | 我每方面都这样 |
| 334 | I mean, don't get me started on like romantic relationships, | 我的意思是,不要让我开始 像浪漫的关系, |
| 335 | like what a disaster, you know, like. | 就像一场灾难,你知道,像。 |
| 336 | If you could help her there, that'd be | 如果你能帮助她,这将是 |
| 337 | No, because you can't connect with another, with a romantic partner unless you show | 不 因为你不能和另一个人 和一个浪漫的伴侣联系 除非你露面 |
| 338 | vulnerability. | 脆弱性。 |
| 339 | You just, you just can't, but if you show vulnerability and interest, | 你只是,你只是不能, 但如果你表现出弱点和兴趣, |
| 340 | that puts you at risk for being rejected. | 让你面临被拒绝的风险 |
| 341 | To be fully known. | 以知众生. |
| 342 | And I think, which by the way, is the essence of dating. | 我认为, 顺便说一句, 是约会的本质。 |
| 343 | It's why dating is so | 这就是为什么约会是这样 |
| 344 | hard and scary is because rejection is on the table. | 困难和可怕是因为拒绝摆在桌面上。 |
| 345 | It's what makes it so exciting, exciting, | 这使得它如此兴奋,令人兴奋, |
| 346 | scary. | 吓人 |
| 347 | It's the risk. | 这是风险。 |
| 348 | Exciting because if, yeah, it's just the risk reward. | 激动人心,因为如果,是的, 它只是风险奖励。 |
| 349 | It's like, if you don't care about it | 这就像,如果你不在乎 |
| 350 | that much, then the payoff isn't really that great. | 如此之多,那么回报并不那么大。 |
| 351 | But when you're really scared of rejection | 但是当你真的害怕拒绝 |
| 352 | and then you find a match, it's like, it only makes it more exciting that you sort of took the risk. | 然后你找到一个匹配的,它就像, 它只是使它更令人兴奋 你排序冒险。 |
| 353 | But also like, so what, let's just say you get rejected. | 但也一样,所以什么, 让我们只是假设你被拒绝。 |
| 354 | Like, let's like peel the layer back. | 喜欢,让我们像剥 层回。 |
| 355 | Let's say you get rejected. | 假设你被拒绝了 |
| 356 | So what? | 那又怎样? |
| 357 | Right? | 对吧? |
| 358 | Like actually, okay, you're rejected. | 就像事实上,好吧,你被拒绝了。 |
| 359 | So what | 那又怎样? |
| 360 | does that mean? | 这是什么意思? |
| 361 | You're like, it's like, if you actually sit back, it's like, well, who cares? | 你就像,这就像, 如果你真的坐下来, 它就像,谁在乎? |
| 362 | Like, it's worse later in life being like, fuck, I should have given that an opportunity. | 像,这是更糟的后 生活喜欢,他妈的,我应该已经给了一个机会。 |
| 363 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 364 | 100%. | 百分百的 百分百的 百分百的 |
| 365 | You don't regret what you do. | 汝等所为不悔. |
| 366 | You regret what you don't do. | 你后悔你没有做的事 |
| 367 | Don't tell Jefferson. | 别告诉杰斐逊 |
| 368 | Oh yeah, you two are happily married. | 哦,是的,你们两个是幸福的婚姻。 |
| 369 | We did it. | 我们成功了 |
| 370 | No, Jefferson, | 不,杰斐逊, |
| 371 | when I was single and I would go on dates, Sarah would like try to discourage me from | 当我单身,我会去约会, 莎拉会试图劝阻我不要 |
| 372 | going on the dates because she thought it was so crazy that I was actually like, | 约会,因为她认为 这太疯狂了,我其实喜欢, |
| 373 | like going to dinner with someone and putting myself out there. | 就像和别人一起吃晚饭 把自己放在那里 |
| 374 | She would try to like stop me | 她会试着阻止我 |
| 375 | from doing it. | 从做它。 |
| 376 | She was like, this is insane. | 她说,这是疯了。 |
| 377 | You can't just go to dinner with someone. | 你不能只是去吃饭的人。 |
| 378 | You | 你们 |
| 379 | don't even know him. | 甚至不认识他。 |
| 380 | It's like, what if he tries to murder you? | 他想杀你怎么办? |
| 381 | I'm going to get to know him. | 我会了解他的 |
| 382 | Is that like more out of fear of losing Erin or is that fear of letting somebody else in | 还是害怕让别人进来 |
| 383 | that wasn't her? | 那不是她吗? |
| 384 | That's a good, no, I always like wanted her to find somebody, of course, | 那很好,不,我一直希望她找到一个人,当然, |
| 385 | but I don't know. | 不过我不知道 |
| 386 | I mean, I've never been on like a blind date. | 我的意思是,我从来没有 像一个相亲约会。 |
| 387 | I've never had dinner with someone | 我从没和别人吃过晚饭 |
| 388 | who I didn't know in my entire life or even didn't know like, cause the person like asked | 我一生都不知道,甚至不知道, 导致一个人像问 |
| 389 | you out in the world and then you got to know what didn't like, she's never done. | 然后你知道她不喜欢什么 她从没做过 |
| 390 | Hmm. | 是吗? |
| 391 | What would it mean if you did? | 你这样做会意味着什么? |
| 392 | Oh God, what would it mean if I did? | 哦,上帝,如果我这样做会意味着什么? |
| 393 | It's so exposing. | 它是如此的暴露。 |
| 394 | I don't | 我没有 |
| 395 | know. | 知道吗? |
| 396 | It's like, I don't even want to have dinner with people I know, let alone people I don't know. | 我甚至不想和我认识的人一起吃晚饭 更不要说不认识的人了 |
| 397 | I don't. | 我没有。 |
| 398 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 399 | Sometimes it's actually more fun having dinner with someone you don't know. | 有时候和不认识的人共进晚餐更好玩 |
| 400 | Right. | 对 |
| 401 | Cause there's just like, yeah. | 因为有一样,是的。 |
| 402 | And there's just like no stakes at all. | 也没什么好赌的 |
| 403 | I can't tell you how proud I would be of Sarah. | 我不能告诉你我会为莎拉感到多么骄傲 |
| 404 | If she said to me, oh my God, I was out of this | 如果她对我说,哦,我的上帝, 我退出了 |
| 405 | work lunch. | 工作午餐。 工作午餐。 |
| 406 | And this like guy came up to me and he was like, I know this is crazy, but you're so | 这就像一个男人来找我, 他喜欢,我知道这是疯狂的, 但你是如此 |
| 407 | beautiful. | 美丽 |
| 408 | And like, you seem so funny and cool with our interaction at the bar or whatever, | 喜欢,你看起来是如此的有趣和 酷与我们的互动 在酒吧或什么, |
| 409 | you know, can I take you to dinner? | 我能带你去吃晚饭吗? |
| 410 | And like, I felt like a coffee bar and you're, and if Sarah | 喜欢,我觉得像 一个咖啡吧 而你,如果莎拉 |
| 411 | was like, honestly, he seemed really great and like really cute. | 老实说 他看起来很棒 很可爱 |
| 412 | I liked his vibe. | 我喜欢他的气息 |
| 413 | I'm going to | 我会 |
| 414 | dinner with him. | 与他共进晚餐。 |
| 415 | I would be so proud of her. | 我会为她骄傲的 |
| 416 | It would be incredible. | 这将是不可思议的。 |
| 417 | And that terrifies you. | 这让你害怕。 |
| 418 | People don't come up to me. | 人们不会来找我的 |
| 419 | Why do you think that is? | 为什么? |
| 420 | Are you intimidating? | 你在恐吓我吗? |
| 421 | Probably. | 也许吧 |
| 422 | No, I'm just kidding. | 不,我只是在开玩笑。 |
| 423 | No, I don't fucking, what do you mean? | 不,我不他妈的, 什么意思? |
| 424 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 425 | I just don't think like it doesn't happen like in the movies. | 我只是觉得不像电影里那样 |
| 426 | It's not like that, | 不是那样的 |
| 427 | but let's just say it did. | 但就这么说吧 |
| 428 | It does happen. | 它确实发生了。 |
| 429 | People get, when I was single, I was putting out the vibe | 人们得到,当我是单身, 我释放的氛围 |
| 430 | and the vibe came back to me and I got asked out. | 气氛回到我身边,我被邀请出去。 |
| 431 | I did because I had like a very, I think like | 我这样做是因为我有一个非常,我认为像 |
| 432 | receptive energy to like, I'm very curious what's out there for me. | 我很好奇外面有什么 |
| 433 | Do you feel like- | 你觉得... |
| 434 | By the way, sometimes I ended up on really bad days because of that. | 顺便说一下,有时我最后 真的很糟糕的日子,因为那。 |
| 435 | Well, yeah, you got it. | 嗯,是的,你猜对了。 |
| 436 | You have to be able to willing. | 你必须能够愿意。 |
| 437 | I want to tie that. | 我想把它绑起来 |
| 438 | If you want to say, | 如果你想说, |
| 439 | put yourself out there in dating, you have to put yourself out there in conflict. | 把自己的约会, 你必须把自己在那里冲突。 |
| 440 | And Sarah, | 还有莎拉 |
| 441 | I hear you saying, hey, I had to unlearn a lot of this. | 我听到你说,嘿,我不得不 解开很多这些。 |
| 442 | This being vulnerable stuff and knowing that | 这是易碎的东西 知道 |
| 443 | when I say, hey, that hurts, it doesn't mean I'm weak. | 当我说,嘿,那很痛, 这并不意味着我软弱。 |
| 444 | It's that you have to take that confidence. | 你必须要有这种自信 |
| 445 | Erin, is there something you had to unlearn about the way you've communicated? | 艾琳,你是否必须解开 你沟通的方式? |
| 446 | Yeah, I'm very like impatient. | 是啊,我很不耐烦。 |
| 447 | I'm really like, I rush the resolution or I rush the conversation | 我真的喜欢,我匆忙解决 或者我匆忙谈话 |
| 448 | and I like, I can't, it's really hard for me to not, you know, like Sarah's saying, | 我喜欢,我不能,这真的 很难不,你知道, 像莎拉说, |
| 449 | try to control the other person's experience. | 试着控制对方的经历 |
| 450 | Like I think for me, something that makes me feel | 就像我为我所想 让我感觉 |
| 451 | really safe is a shared reality. | 真正的安全是一个共同的现实。 |
| 452 | And we talked about this, Jefferson, when you came on our podcast, | 我们谈过了 杰斐逊 当你来到我们的播客, |
| 453 | we, you know, even still three years later, I would say far worse now, we're living in such a | 我们,你知道, 即使三年后, 我会说更糟糕了,现在,我们生活在这样一个 |
| 454 | bizarre time with, you know, the news cycle, the way that it is where you're getting news from | 奇怪的时间,你知道,新闻循环, 的方式,这是你从那里得到的消息 |
| 455 | people who aren't, you know, journalists, or you're getting, you're getting opinion news. | 那些没有记者的人 或者你得到的,你得到的舆论新闻。 |
| 456 | So it's very, very intense. | 所以它非常非常强烈。 |
| 457 | And it makes you feel that there is one right way and one wrong way, | 它让你觉得有一条对的路和一条不对的路 |
| 458 | depending on your algorithm. | 取决于你的算法。 |
| 459 | And so it's really hard for me when I feel like someone is not | 所以当我感觉有人不是的时候 对我来说真的很困难 |
| 460 | the same shared experience I am, that we don't have a shared reality. | 就像我一样,我们没有共同的现实。 |
| 461 | And so that's something | 所以,这是东西 |
| 462 | I'm working on is, is like, my husband says to me, just because you don't understand something | 我的工作是,就像,我丈夫对我说, 只是因为你不明白什么 |
| 463 | doesn't mean that it's weird or that it's wrong. | 并不是说这很奇怪 或者说这是错误的 |
| 464 | And that's been hard for me to understand. | 这让我很难理解 |
| 465 | Do you find? | 你找到了吗? |
| 466 | It genuinely has been. | 这是真的。 |
| 467 | Well, yeah, I think that's, that's hard for a lot of people. | 嗯,是的,我认为这是, 这是很难为很多人。 |
| 468 | Do you, as, since you all are, | 你,既然你们都是, |
| 469 | business professionals, I mean, you'll have what y'all have done and what you've created is | 商业专业人士,我的意思是,你们会有 你们所做的,你们创造的是 |
| 470 | incredible. | 不可思议 |
| 471 | And I find to be incredibly unique in any space, up against anyone, really. | 我发现在任何空间里都是独一无二的, 真的。 |
| 472 | How have y'all found about how you communicate in business professionally compared to | 你们是怎么发现的 在商业中的沟通 专业相比 |
| 473 | how you might communicate when it's, you know, behind closed doors? | 当它关着门的时候,你会如何沟通? |
| 474 | Is there a line where you | 有一条线你 |
| 475 | are you the same on both ends? | 你两边都一样吗? |
| 476 | Or, you know, when you're in business, you're saying, | 或者,你知道,当你在做生意,你说, |
| 477 | I've learned to pick, I've learned to pick my battles. | 学于选战,学于选战. |
| 478 | I think, I think, | 我觉得,我想, |
| 479 | I never used to hold my tongue. | 我从来不握舌头 |
| 480 | I think I was professional at having our conflicts | 我想我是专业的 有我们的冲突 |
| 481 | in front of people loud with zero sort of self-awareness of how it was making other | 当着人们的面 毫无自觉地意识到它是如何让别人 |
| 482 | people feel. | 人的感觉。 |
| 483 | And I'm not by any means, you know, doing it perfectly still, but I'm aware. | 我绝对不会,你知道的, 完美地静静地做, 但我知道。 |
| 484 | So like, if something comes up and I want to be like, you know, well, you're fucking wrong. | 所以,如果有什么事情发生,我想 像,你知道,嗯,你他妈的错了。 |
| 485 | Like, that's just wrong. | 喜欢,这只是错误。 |
| 486 | I don't know, I used to say that, like, I would say that. | 我不知道,我常说,喜欢,我会说。 |
| 487 | But by the way, | 但顺便说一句, |
| 488 | so would she. | 她也会这样 |
| 489 | I mean, when we were shooting Barely Famous, RTV, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | 我的意思是,当我们拍摄 赤裸裸的名人,RTV,等等,等等,等等,等等。 |
| 490 | 敬 you, you, you. | |
| 491 | To me. | 对我来说。 |
| 492 | No, please, when we were shooting Barely Famous, a show that we both created, | 不,请,当我们拍摄 赤裸裸的名人, 一个节目 我们都创造了, |
| 493 | we both wrote, we both starred in, she treated me like a goddamn intern on the set. | 我们都写了,我们都主演 她把我当实习生一样对待 |
| 494 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 495 | But, but, and like, loudly and in front of people. | 但是,但是,和喜欢, 大声和在人们面前。 |
| 496 | But so it's, you know, it goes both ways. | 但是,这是,你知道, 它去双向的。 |
| 497 | But I'm | 不过,我 |
| 498 | aware of it now. | 现在意识到了。 |
| 499 | Like, I'm aware, I used to not be aware of what I was doing to other people. | 喜欢,我知道,我曾经不知道 我在做什么别人。 |
| 500 | I think, | 我觉得 |
| 501 | honestly, I'm so used to not being successful. | 老实说,我很习惯不成功。 |
| 502 | I'm so used to not mattering that now that we | 我习惯了不管现在我们 |
| 503 | matter, and now that we have all these things, it's like, it's like, I don't know how to, | 事情,现在我们有所有这些东西, 它就像,它像,我不知道如何, |
| 504 | I forget, like, I forget that people look up to us. | 我忘了,就像,我忘了 人们尊敬我们。 |
| 505 | I forget that we have the power and influence | 我忘了我们有权力和影响力 |
| 506 | that we have in our businesses. | 我们的生意有。 |
| 507 | Like, I truly forget. | 像,我真的忘记了。 |
| 508 | And I'm now so much more aware of, | 现在我更清楚了, |
| 509 | of that. | 就是这样 |
| 510 | Does that, did that answer your question at all? | 是这样吗,你的问题有答案吗? |
| 511 | No, it did. | 不,确实如此。 |
| 512 | Yeah, I'm curious, Erin, how has your communication, is there like a flip that you | 是啊,我很好奇,艾琳,你的沟通如何, 是不是有一个翻转,你 |
| 513 | switch when it comes to, hey, I am now an owner of a very respected, doing very well business. | 切换到,嘿,我现在是一个拥有 一个非常受人尊敬的,做得很好的业务。 |
| 514 | And here I am, having an incredible, you know, show, nobody wants this. | 我在这里,有一个不可思议的,你知道, 秀,没有人想要这个。 |
| 515 | And you go, | 你却去, |
| 516 | I have to communicate differently than I did before. | 我得和以前一样交流 |
| 517 | I'm curious of that difference. | 我很好奇这不同 |
| 518 | Mm hmm. | 垛 |
| 519 | I had, I have different experiences in the different businesses. | 我有,我有不同的经验 在不同的企业。 |
| 520 | And so, for instance, | 所以,比如说, |
| 521 | with favorite daughter, Sarah and I are like, essentially have the same role. | 我和Sarah一样 基本上也有一样的角色 |
| 522 | And we had to | 我们不得不 |
| 523 | really divide and conquer and figure out different skill sets to create space for each other there. | 真正的分裂和征服, 并找出不同的技能组合 在那里为彼此创造空间。 |
| 524 | And that was much more conflict heavy for me. | 这对我来说更是激烈的冲突。 |
| 525 | When it came to nobody wants this, I had conflict, | 说到没人想这样,我就有冲突 |
| 526 | but it was with people I wasn't related to. | 但它与我无关的人。 |
| 527 | And I felt super unemotional about it. | 我对此感到超无动于衷。 |
| 528 | I had | 我有过 |
| 529 | this weird flip that I switched where I had like very strong boundaries. | 这个怪异的翻转,我转身的地方,我拥有非常强大的界限。 |
| 530 | And I didn't let people | 我没有让别人 |
| 531 | cross them. | 穿过他们。 |
| 532 | And it didn't scare me to lose the show, to lose them, to lose my role. | 并且没有吓到我失去节目,失去他们,失去我的角色. |
| 533 | I was just | 我刚刚 |
| 534 | like, I know what I believe in, and I'm going to stand my ground. | 喜欢,我知道我信仰什么, 我要站稳脚跟。 |
| 535 | And I don't really care who it | 我不在乎是谁 |
| 536 | upsets. | 烦恼。 |
| 537 | And I'm okay with people not liking me from that process. | 我不介意有人不喜欢我 |
| 538 | And so I feel like I've had a | 所以我感觉我有一个 |
| 539 | much healthier emotional sort of like compartmentalization in the TV show. | 更健康的情感 类似于电视剧中的分化 |
| 540 | And I don't | 我没有 |
| 541 | know what that is too, but I've had a lot of people treat me in a lot of many very shitty ways | 我也知道那是什么 但我有很多人用很烂的方式对待我 |
| 542 | around the TV show. | 在电视剧里 |
| 543 | And I sort of took it and absorbed it. | 我有点把它吸收了。 |
| 544 | And then just like, I think it's | 然后就像,我想这是 |
| 545 | because you- Is that like an identity thing? | 因为你... 这像身份吗? |
| 546 | I think it's because she would have really been | 我想是因为她会真的 |
| 547 | okay if it went away. | 好吧,如果它走开。 |
| 548 | When you're actually okay with it, when you're so attached to an outcome, | 当你真的接受它, 当你如此依附一个结果, |
| 549 | it changes things. | 它改变了事物。 |
| 550 | Like for me, I'm not okay with anything that went away. | 就像我一样,我不喜欢 任何消失的东西。 |
| 551 | So I hold on really | 所以我坚持真的 |
| 552 | tightly. | 紧紧的 |
| 553 | So I'm afraid to misstep. | 故恐错步. |
| 554 | Sarah like lives in fear. | 莎拉喜欢生活在恐惧中。 |
| 555 | She operates from fear. | 她从恐惧中行动 |
| 556 | Yeah, | 对 |
| 557 | for Erin, Erin genuinely was like, I'm married. | 对于艾琳,艾琳真的喜欢, 我结婚了。 |
| 558 | I'm pregnant. | 我怀孕了 我怀孕了 我怀孕了 我怀孕了 |
| 559 | I have everything I've ever wanted | 我拥有我想要的一切 |
| 560 | that I finally have. | 我终于有了 |
| 561 | If I don't have this show, I can live with that. | 如果我没有这个节目,我可以忍受。 |
| 562 | That was part of it. | 这是它的一部分。 |
| 563 | But I think also, for me at least, knowing that I have this | 但我也认为,至少对我来说, 知道我有这个 |
| 564 | creative control to some degree on the dialogue of a show, and I have a really strong attachment | 对节目的对话进行某种程度的创造性控制 我有一个很强的感情 |
| 565 | to the outcome and what it should feel like, it's almost like it creates this sort of | 对于结果和它应该是什么感觉, 它几乎像它创造了这种 |
| 566 | like integrity around, it either needs to be the way that I envisioned it, or I think it | 就像周遭的正直 要么需要我想象的那样 要么我想 |
| 567 | just shouldn't be out. | 只是不应该出来。 |
| 568 | And if it's not out, that's okay, but it's better than it coming out and I | 如果它不出来,没关系, 但比它出来和我 |
| 569 | didn't control it. | 没有控制它。 |
| 570 | Does that make sense? | 这有道理吗? |
| 571 | This thing that I'm creating, it has to be presented | 我创造的东西,必须展示 |
| 572 | in the way that I saw it. | 以我所见的方式 |
| 573 | And if it can't be, then I'm okay with it just not happening. | 如果它不可能,那么我同意它 只是没有发生。 |
| 574 | I don't know, | 我不知道,你觉得呢? |
| 575 | there's some sort of comfort in that. | 有点舒服 |
| 576 | It's strange. | '然怪异. |
| 577 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 578 | And I think maybe being a | 我认为也许是一个 |
| 579 | writer does give you some sense of control because you can write something else. | 编剧确实给你一些控制感 因为你可以写点别的 |
| 580 | Not only that, but it's like someone's voice is completely proprietary. | 不仅如此,而且好像有人的声音是完全专有的. |
| 581 | So it's like, | 所以说, |
| 582 | nobody can ever take your voice. | 没人能夺走你的声音 |
| 583 | Nobody can ever steal your voice. | 没人能偷你的声音 |
| 584 | Nobody can ever mimic your voice | 没人能模仿你的声音 |
| 585 | or hijack your voice. | 或者劫持你的声音。 |
| 586 | So it's like, when something's proprietary, when you have that kind of autonomy, | 所以,它就像,当东西的专有, 当你有这种自主权, |
| 587 | that kind of ownership of something, I think it gives you a lot more freedom to have the integrity | 那种拥有的东西, 我认为它给了你更多的自由 拥有正直 |
| 588 | that you want to have. | 这是你想要的。 |
| 589 | But I'm still working on having a voice in my work life outside of | 但我仍在努力在工作生活之外有发言权 |
| 590 | Fair Daughter, like when it's with Sarah, we butt heads all the time, but then when it comes to- | 美丽的女儿,就像当它与莎拉, 我们屁股头所有的时间, 但是当它涉及到 - |
| 591 | Not all the time. | 并非无常. |
| 592 | You got to stop speaking. | 别再说话了 |
| 593 | It's such a catastrophe. | 简直是大灾难 |
| 594 | We don't butt heads all the | 我们不把头都当头 |
| 595 | time. | 时间。 |
| 596 | You got to change your mindset. | 你得改变你的心态。 |
| 597 | It's not all the time. | 亦非一切时. |
| 598 | Some of the time. | 某时. |
| 599 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 600 | That seems | 这似乎 |
| 601 | like a very big reaction to what I just said. | 就像一个非常大的反应 对于我刚才说。 |
| 602 | Well, it is a big statement. | 嗯,这是一个很大的声明。 |
| 603 | Is it not a big | 不是很大吗? |
| 604 | statement to say because we butt heads all of the time? | 说是因为我们总是头顶? |
| 605 | Is that not a big statement? | 这不是个大声明吗? |
| 606 | I mean, I didn't say it in a way of like, we're in conflict. | 我的意思是,我不是说它的方式 像,我们有冲突。 |
| 607 | We're sisters, so we butt heads all | 我们是姐妹,所以我们都是头 |
| 608 | of the time. | 时间。 |
| 609 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 610 | What I felt, yeah. | 我的感觉,是啊。 |
| 611 | So what I heard was it was more of a common statement | 我所听到的 是一个共同的说法 |
| 612 | versus saying it in literal terms. | 与以字义说. |
| 613 | But what I heard from Sarah was that was much more felt | 但我从Sarah那里听到的 感觉要好得多 |
| 614 | by her. | 由她来。 |
| 615 | She got very defensive over that. | 她对此非常谨慎 |
| 616 | And I understand that I think there's room for both | 我理解,我认为有 空间两者 |
| 617 | there. | 这里 |
| 618 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 619 | You don't want to use absolutes all the time. | 你不想总是使用绝对数。 |
| 620 | Your experience is valid. | 你的经验是正确的。 |
| 621 | I guess I just mean because Sarah and I have had more conflict in | 我想我只是因为我和Sarah之间 发生了更多的冲突 |
| 622 | our working relationship because we're sisters and we can, right? | 我们的工作关系,因为我们是姐妹 我们可以,对不对? |
| 623 | Because like what we said before, | 因为就像我们之前说过的那样 |
| 624 | when you have that shared history and you're not going anywhere, you do bring everything up, | 当你有共同的历史 并且你不会去任何地方, 你确实提出一切, |
| 625 | right? | 对吧? |
| 626 | So we have fought in work environments. | 因此,我们在工作环境中进行了斗争。 |
| 627 | It's made me conflict averse in my TV working life | 这让我在电视工作生涯中厌恶冲突 |
| 628 | because it's like, I'm so scared to start a fight. | 因为这就像, 我很害怕开始战斗。 |
| 629 | And so sometimes I don't say something | 所以有时我不说话 |
| 630 | that's bothering me because I'm so scared it'll turn into a fight because I think I'm used to a | 这让我心烦意乱 因为我害怕它会变成一场战斗 因为我觉得我习惯了 |
| 631 | sister dynamic. | 妹妹的动态。 |
| 632 | Yeah, but also you can't treat people outside of our relationship the way you | 是啊,但是你也不能像对待你那样对待我们关系以外的人 |
| 633 | treat me. | 对待我 |
| 634 | You actually can't. | 你实际上不能。 |
| 635 | That is the thing. | 就是这样 |
| 636 | It's like sisters treat each other away in a way | 就像姐妹们互相对待一样 |
| 637 | and talk to each other in a way that doesn't work in the real world. | 并以现实世界不起作用的方式互相交谈. |
| 638 | It doesn't work. | 亦无功用. |
| 639 | And which is like, you know, which is part of the beauty is like, we just like say it all and feel | 这就像,你知道, 谁是美的一部分 喜欢,我们只是喜欢说这一切和感觉 |
| 640 | it all and like experience it all. | 喜欢体验这一切 |
| 641 | But you can't be that way in the real world. | 但你不能在现实世界那样 |
| 642 | I don't think. | 我不觉得 |
| 643 | I am curious between the two of you, which one is more direct you think or both of you are pretty | 你们俩之间我很好奇 哪个更直接 你觉得还是你们俩都很漂亮 |
| 644 | direct? | 直接吗? |
| 645 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 646 | Both pretty direct, but I think out in the world, Sarah's more direct. | 两者都很直接 但我想 莎拉更直接 |
| 647 | Before we keep going, I want to take a moment to tell you about Gusto. | 在我们继续前进之前 我想花点时间告诉你Gusto的事 |
| 648 | Did you know that I have | 你知道我有没有 |
| 649 | probably been involved in maybe three to four different businesses and every one I've used | 可能参与过3到4个不同的企业 我用过的每一个 |
| 650 | one payroll processing platform and that is Gusto. | 一个工资单处理平台 那就是古斯托 |
| 651 | I've been using them long before they were ever a | 我用它们很久了 |
| 652 | sponsor of this podcast. | 赞助这个播客。 |
| 653 | Why? | 为什么? |
| 654 | Because they're the best. | 因为他们是最好的。 |
| 655 | It's hard and I know it as a small business | 很难,我知道这是小生意 |
| 656 | that there's a lot of, I don't know how to do things. | 有很多,我不知道如何做事情。 |
| 657 | Gusto is one platform that makes it so | 古斯托是一个平台 使它如此 |
| 658 | much easier to run a business because it handles everything HR, it handles everything payroll | 经营企业要容易得多,因为它处理一切 HR,它处理一切工资 |
| 659 | from people that are out of town. | 来自城外的人。 |
| 660 | How do you do payroll taxes, everything. | 工资税,一切,你怎么做。 |
| 661 | And when you have | 当你有 |
| 662 | trouble, all you have to do is call and you can talk to a real human that can answer your question. | 麻烦了,你只要打个电话 就能跟一个能回答你问题的人说话 |
| 663 | I love Gusto and I would not use any other payroll platform. | 我爱Gusto,我也不会使用任何其他的发薪平台。 |
| 664 | I think they're fantastic and I still | 我觉得他们很棒,我还是 |
| 665 | use them to this day for my own team. | 为了我的团队,用到今天 |
| 666 | 现在,你可以去gusto.com slasherson和得到 | |
| 667 | three, your first three months free payroll. | 三,你头三个月免费发工资。 |
| 668 | 当你去gusto.com slash jefferson, 得到你的第一个 | |
| 669 | three months free. | 三个月免费。 |
| 670 | And now let's keep going. | 现在让我们继续前进。 |
| 671 | You know, I have a lot of people who not just look up | 你知道,我有很多人 谁不只是抬头看 |
| 672 | to y'all, but look into any female who's a leader in business and profession and they say, look, | 但调查任何女性在商业和专业上的领导者 他们说 |
| 673 | I have a really hard time being direct or I'm too direct and that gets counted against me. | 我很难做到直接,或者我太直接,这算在我头上。 |
| 674 | And so I have, I really would love y'all's insight on what do you say to the woman | 所以我有,我真的希望你们 洞悉你对女人说什么 |
| 675 | who is aspiring themselves in business and they say, every time I'm direct, this gets counted | 他们都说,每当我直说的时候, 都会算数 |
| 676 | against me. | 对抗我 |
| 677 | How in the world should I handle this? | 我该怎么处理这事? |
| 678 | Well, I think in corporate America, | 我想在美国的公司里 |
| 679 | things are really hard right now. | 事情真的很艰难 现在。 |
| 680 | I think that we're in a place of sensitivity amongst | 我认为我们处在一个敏感的地方 |
| 681 | a lot of the younger generation that is very hard to navigate the whole concept of like, | 很多年轻一代 很难理解整个概念 |
| 682 | you know, when you, when you work, that if you upset your employee, that you're essentially like, | 你知道,当你,当你工作, 如果你惹恼你的员工, 你基本上喜欢, |
| 683 | yeah, exactly. | 没错 |
| 684 | So it's like a very hard to navigate the waters because it's like, | 所以这就像一个非常难 航行的水,因为它像, |
| 685 | when you work somewhere, you are working somewhere, you have a job to do. | 当你在某处工作, 你正在某处工作, 你有工作要做。 |
| 686 | If you don't | 如果你没有 |
| 687 | do your job, you get reprimanded. | 做你的工作,你会受到训斥。 |
| 688 | Like that's just how the world works. | 譬如世间正法. |
| 689 | Like when my kids go | 就像我的孩子走的时候 |
| 690 | to school, if they don't do what they're supposed to do, I want them to get in trouble. | 如果他们不做他们该做的事 我希望他们有麻烦 |
| 691 | You know, | 你知道吗, |
| 692 | it's like, that is sort of, that is, that is how the world works. | 这就像,这是某种, 也就是,这就是世界是如何工作的。 |
| 693 | And so I do think it's really | 所以我确实觉得 |
| 694 | tough right now because you're, you know, I have someone in my life who is, who is direct, who is | 现在很坚强,因为你,你知道, 我有个人在我的生活中 谁是谁,谁是直接的,谁是 |
| 695 | a boss, who kills herself, who works 20 hours a day. | 老板,谁自杀, 谁每天工作20小时。 |
| 696 | You can call her at one in the morning. | 你可以在早上打电话给她。 |
| 697 | She's going to pick up because she's always working. | 她会去接她 因为她总是工作。 |
| 698 | And she gets accused a lot of the time | 她经常被指责 |
| 699 | of being a bitch and she's not a bitch. | 是一个婊子,她不是婊子。 |
| 700 | She's just really good at her job. | 她只是非常擅长她的工作。 |
| 701 | She doesn't expect | 她没料到 |
| 702 | anything from anyone else that she doesn't also bring to the table, but she's doxxed. | 任何人的任何东西,她不 也带到桌子上, 但她被糊涂。 |
| 703 | And it's | 这是 |
| 704 | like, it's, so I don't know that I have. | 喜欢,这是,所以我不知道我有。 |
| 705 | My wife, what is it? | 我妻子,这是什么? |
| 706 | You have to accept the truth of being | 你必须接受现实 |
| 707 | a working woman, which is people are going to think you're being bossy and bitchy when you're | 一个工作女人,这就是人们会认为 你是一个傲慢和婊子 当你是 |
| 708 | being direct and being the boss. | 直接当老板 |
| 709 | I mean, I was told that I was being really bossy, bossy and lazy. | 我的意思是,我被告知 我真的很专横, 专横和懒惰。 |
| 710 | Wait, lazy. | 等等,懒鬼 |
| 711 | It was kind of said behind my back. | 我背着别人说 |
| 712 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 713 | By a man who didn't like my authority. | 一个不喜欢我权威的人 |
| 714 | And, | 还有, |
| 715 | and it wasn't like to my face, it was about me. | 它不是像在我的脸上, 它是关于我。 |
| 716 | And I remember being like, | 我记得当时我... |
| 717 | it's a little counterintuitive to be, so I'm really bossy. | 有点自以为是 所以我很专横 |
| 718 | Isn't that like an oxymoron? | 这不就是个矛盾吗? |
| 719 | Aren't like lazy people. | 不像懒惰的人 |
| 720 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 721 | That's why it felt to me like a man who just really didn't | 这就是为什么我觉得自己就像一个男人 谁只是没有 |
| 722 | like a woman being in charge. | 就像一个女人负责。 |
| 723 | And I felt really sensitive to it for a while. | 我觉得对它很敏感 |
| 724 | And then I thought | 然后我想着 |
| 725 | to myself, and I was like, well, a passive boss probably isn't a great boss. | 对我自己来说,我就像,嗯, 一个被动的老板可能不是一个伟大的老板。 |
| 726 | So I think a woman | 所以我觉得一个女人 |
| 727 | being in charge, being direct and asking for what she wants comes across as bossy to a man, | 负责 直接 要求她想要什么 成为男人的霸主 |
| 728 | but that's just a boss telling people what she wants. | 但那只是一个老板 告诉人们她想要什么。 |
| 729 | And I've decided that I'm okay with that, | 我决定我不介意 |
| 730 | you know, that that person might have a negative opinion of me because they don't like how I am a | 你知道,那人可能对我持负面看法 因为他们不喜欢我是一个 |
| 731 | boss. | 头儿 |
| 732 | And that has to be okay, because he's not used to a woman being in charge, or he's not used | 一定没问题 因为他不习惯一个女人当主管 或者他不习惯 |
| 733 | to a woman knowing what she wants. | 给一个知道自己想要什么的女人 |
| 734 | And so I can either be embarrassed about that, or I can continue | 这样我要么尴尬,要么继续 |
| 735 | being the boss. | 成为老板。 |
| 736 | And I would rather do the latter, you know, then let that person sort of make me | 我宁愿做后者,你知道的, 然后让那个人排序 让我 |
| 737 | shrink and ask permission if it's okay that I make this decision. | 收缩,请您允许我做这个决定 |
| 738 | So I think as a woman, you're a | 所以我想作为一个女人,你是一个 |
| 739 | little bit a lot actually damned if you do damned if you don't, you know, if you're warm and | 一点点 实际上是被诅咒 如果你没有,你知道, 如果你是温暖的, |
| 740 | inclusive and inviting, you're walked over, you definitely are. | 包容和邀请,你走过,你肯定。 |
| 741 | Exactly. | 没错 |
| 742 | And if you're the | 狦琌 |
| 743 | opposite, then, you know, you rub people the wrong way. | 反面,然后,你知道, 你擦错人的方式。 |
| 744 | And I think that we have to, as it's sort of | 我认为我们必须这样做,因为它有点 |
| 745 | like being a mom, like you can't your kids aren't going to like you all the time. | 就像做个妈妈一样 像你不能让你的孩子永远喜欢你一样 |
| 746 | That's okay, | 没关系 |
| 747 | that's what being a mom is about. | 做妈妈就是这样 |
| 748 | It's putting boundaries on them that they don't like, | 它给他们的界限 他们不喜欢, |
| 749 | and it's for their own good. | 这是为他们着想 |
| 750 | And if you're a boss, you have to put boundaries on employees that | 如果你是老板,你必须给员工定下界限 |
| 751 | they're not going to like, you know, you have to not take all of their ideas, you have to, you know, | 他们不会喜欢的,你知道, 你不得不不采取 他们的所有想法,你必须,你知道, |
| 752 | for me, I have to rewrite certain writers, I have to change stories that I don't feel are right for | 对我来说,我必须重写一些作家, 我必须改变那些我觉得不对的故事 |
| 753 | the show. | 节目。 |
| 754 | And that person might be really attached to that work, and they might disagree with me. | 那个人可能真的喜欢那工作, 他们可能不同意我。 |
| 755 | And that might make them call me a name behind my back, or say that I don't know what I'm doing, | 他们可能会在背后叫我名字 或者说我不知道自己在做什么 |
| 756 | or disagree with me. | 或者不同意我的话 |
| 757 | And you kind of have to make the choice to trust yourself and, and know that | 你必须做出选择 相信自己,并且知道 |
| 758 | these are people are not your friends. | 这些人不是你的朋友 |
| 759 | And if you were them, you'd be the same the same thing about | 狦琌 妓 |
| 760 | yourself, you know, you we all have gone home to our spouse or a friend, I mean, like, God, my boss | 你自己,你知道,你 我们都回家了 我们的配偶或朋友,我的意思是,像,上帝,我的老板 |
| 761 | being such an asshole, or I worked so hard on this paper, and they didn't take the idea. | 或者我在报纸上努力工作 但他们没接受这个想法 |
| 762 | Or I said | 或者我说 |
| 763 | this thing in the meeting, and she sort of just blew past it. | 会议上的这个东西, 她有点搞砸了。 |
| 764 | Fuck her. | 他妈的她。 |
| 765 | Right? | 对吧? |
| 766 | What does she even | 她会怎样? |
| 767 | know? | 知道吗? |
| 768 | It's like it is our instinct and like for self preservation. | 这就像我们的本能 喜欢自我保护。 |
| 769 | So I think if you remind | 所以我觉得如果你提醒 |
| 770 | yourself of that, you won't take it so personally. | 你自己,你不会 把它如此个人。 |
| 771 | I think for myself as like a boss or whatever, | 我觉得自己像个老板一样 |
| 772 | the one thing I have sort of started doing, at least at Favorite Daughter is I'm asking more | 我开始做的一件事 至少最爱的女儿是 我要求更多 |
| 773 | questions. | 问题。 |
| 774 | Like, I don't want there to be this divide, where it's like, it's my way, I know how | 喜欢,我不想有这种鸿沟, 在那里它喜欢,这是我的方式,我知道如何 |
| 775 | things should go. | 事情应该走了。 |
| 776 | And I wasn't always like that in the beginning, I make a point now at Favorite | 我一开始并不是这样的,我现在在最爱的地方说一个重点 |
| 777 | Daughter to ask questions. | 女儿问话. |
| 778 | How are you feeling? | 你感觉怎么样? |
| 779 | What do you need? | 你还需要什么? |
| 780 | Is there something that that | 有什么东西 |
| 781 | you need that we're not giving you? | 你需要我们不给你吗? |
| 782 | Do you need any help? | 需要帮忙吗? |
| 783 | Are there hires we're missing? | 我们缺人吗? |
| 784 | What's | 何谓 |
| 785 | your constructive criticism? | 你的建设性批评? |
| 786 | Like, what's your feedback on this? | 你对此有什么反馈? |
| 787 | And ever since I started doing | 自从我开始做 |
| 788 | that, there's just a sort of an openness in the room that I really feel that I really like, I | 房间里有种开放的感觉 我真的很喜欢 |
| 789 | don't want there to be a disconnect between like us and the Favorite Daughter team or us and Montana, | 不希望我们和最爱的女儿团队 或我们和蒙大拿州之间发生脱节 |
| 790 | now runs our production company, like, I don't, I want there to be unity, of course, with us being | 现在经营我们的制作公司, 就像,我不,我希望有 团结,当然,我们是 |
| 791 | in a position of power, because we've worked our entire lives to finally be, you know, we've never | 因为我们毕生都在努力 最终成为 |
| 792 | lived like this, like you're talking to two people who live their entire lives at the mercy of other | 就像你在跟两个人说话一样 他们一生都在别人的摆布下 |
| 793 | people's opinions of us. | 人们对我们的看法。 |
| 794 | We were actresses, we were models, we were this, we were that we've never in | 我们是演员,我们是模特,我们是这个,我们从来没有加入过 |
| 795 | million years had any agency ever, at least I haven't, I've never had agency until the last, | 有一百万年有 任何代理, 至少我没有,我从来没有 有代理直到最后, |
| 796 | you know, seven years of my life, really. | 你知道,7年我的生活,真的。 |
| 797 | There's a question that I've, I got asked not too long ago | 有个问题,我问了很久了 |
| 798 | on, you know, what's something I can tell, this was a woman asking me, you know, what's something | 你知道,我能说什么, 这是一个女人问我, 你知道,什么是东西 |
| 799 | I can say to the guy who's undermining, not liking that I'm kind of in a position of authority, | 我可以说,谁在破坏, 不喜欢我有点 在权威的地位, |
| 800 | and I wanted to get y'all's take on it. | 我想让你们都接受 |
| 801 | The question I gave her to say to this gentleman is, | 我问她要问这位先生 |
| 802 | are you uncomfortable with my choices or with me? | 你对我的选择感到不舒服还是对我感到不舒服? |
| 803 | And I am curious for y'all on, do you think that | 我对你们感兴趣 你觉得 |
| 804 | it is men being just uncomfortable that there are women in positions of leadership that are telling | 男人只是不自在 有妇女担任领导职务 |
| 805 | them what to do? | 他们怎么办? |
| 806 | Like you said, Erin, it's, it's not that I'm bossy, it's, I'm a boss that's making | 正如你说的,艾琳,这不是说我是霸主,而是我是一个在制造 |
| 807 | choices and decisions. | 选择和决定。 |
| 808 | Or is it, it's just the packaging, and they're just not going to like it | 还是只是包装而已 他们不会喜欢的 |
| 809 | no matter what. | 不管怎样 |
| 810 | Is this a male female thing? | 这是男的吗? |
| 811 | Because it's like, I have, you know, our partner | 因为这就像,我有,你知道,我们的搭档 |
| 812 | at Favorite Daughter is a man, he owns the parent company, he's our partner. | 在最爱的女儿是一个男人, 他拥有母公司, 他是我们的合作伙伴。 |
| 813 | He's amazing. | 他很厉害 |
| 814 | This is | 这是 |
| 815 | a man who has been nothing but so respectful, is the person that gave us the opportunity that we | 一个只尊重我们的人 就是给我们机会的人 |
| 816 | have, defers to us on everything, never makes us feel like, oh, you silly little girls, I make, | 永远不要让我们觉得, 哦,你们这些愚蠢的小女孩,我做了, |
| 817 | I'm the one writing the check, so I make the call. | 支票是我写的,所以我打电话 |
| 818 | Like, so I want to be careful that we don't like, | 喜欢,所以我想小心 我们不喜欢, |
| 819 | oh, men are the bad guys, and there are some men in authority, no, no, I know, but there are some | 哦,男人是坏人, 有一些男人 在权威,不,不,我知道,但有一些 |
| 820 | men in authoritative places who are so incredible. | 在权威的地方的人 如此不可思议。 |
| 821 | Sarah's a real believe men kind of girl. | 莎拉是一个真正的相信男人 那种女孩。 |
| 822 | Well, | 那个 |
| 823 | I'm not an anti-man, I'm, yeah. | 我不是一个反男子,我,是的。 |
| 824 | Yeah, trust me, I'm not, I'm not either, I'm not either, | 相信我,我没有,我也不是,我也不是, |
| 825 | but I'm telling you, I'm voicing real concerns from people that I've spoken to. | 但我告诉你, 我表达真正的关注 与我交谈的人。 |
| 826 | Yeah, I mean, | 是的,我是说, |
| 827 | it really does happen a lot. | 它真的经常发生。 |
| 828 | No, I know, but some of our worst experiences in business have been | 不,我知道,但一些我们最糟糕的 商业经历是 |
| 829 | with like other women, like, you know, so it's not just. | 和其他女人一样, 就像,你知道的, 所以这不仅仅是。 |
| 830 | Women tearing women down. | 妇女撕裂妇女。 |
| 831 | But in regards to | 但关于 |
| 832 | this, I do think that, I think it's a combination of both of those things. | 我认为,这是这两种东西的结合。 |
| 833 | I do think it's the | 我觉得是 |
| 834 | I think that there are men who are raised in a time where, you know, women who are | 我认为有些男人是在一个时代长大的 你知道,女人在那里 |
| 835 | leading and in charge today means that they grew up in, at the very least, the 80s, right? | 领导和负责今天 意味着他们长大, 至少在80年代,对不对? |
| 836 | And so, | 于是, |
| 837 | what was the messaging that those men growing up were told about who was in charge, right? | 那些长大的男人被告知谁负责的讯息是什么? |
| 838 | We're still sort of aging out of this male dominated world in business. | 我们仍然有点老化 在这个男性占主导地位的商业世界。 |
| 839 | So I think that | 所以我觉得 |
| 840 | it's a combination of us as women finding our comfort being in charge and men not finding it | 我们两个的结合是 女人会发现我们的舒适感 |
| 841 | emasculating to have a woman be in charge of him. | 让女人来管理他 |
| 842 | And so I think it's how their mothers raised them, | 所以我认为这是他们的母亲如何抚养他们, |
| 843 | how their fathers raised them to look at women. | 他们的父亲如何抚养他们 看女人。 |
| 844 | And what was it I was watching? | 我当时在看什么? |
| 845 | I was watching, | 我看着呢 |
| 846 | um, okay, I want my husband, I watch a lot of reality TV, we watched this show called, | 嗯,好吧,我要我丈夫,我看了很多真人秀电视,我们看这个节目叫... |
| 847 | recently called The Ultimatum. | 最近被称为"终极通牒". |
| 848 | And in the show, the partners like swap partners with each other | 在节目中,合伙人喜欢互换搭档 |
| 849 | for like a week and feel out what it would be like to be with somebody else for a week. | 和别人在一起一周的感觉 |
| 850 | Do they hook up? | 他们上钩了吗? |
| 851 | They don't really hook up. | 他们不真正勾搭。 |
| 852 | It's like, it's like sort of like a trial marriage to test out your | 这就像,它有点 像试婚 测试你的 |
| 853 | boundaries. | 边框。 |
| 854 | Anyway, this guy, we watched this like a month ago, the guy was like, God, it was | 总之,这家伙,我们看这个像一个月前, 这家伙就像,上帝,它是 |
| 855 | interesting being with so and so like, she like, understood what was going on in the news. | 有趣的是,与这样的, 喜欢,她喜欢, 了解是怎么回事 在新闻中。 |
| 856 | I've | 我见过 |
| 857 | never heard a girl like, understand what's going on with politics. | 从来没有听到一个女孩喜欢, 理解政治是怎么回事。 |
| 858 | And I was like, | 我当时想, |
| 859 | that's crazy to hear a man say that in 2026. | 2026年有人这么说真是疯了 |
| 860 | It shows you how different his world is than our | 告诉你他的世界和我们的世界有多不同 |
| 861 | world. | 这个世界 |
| 862 | I think he maybe I mean, I don't not like shots fired on the south. | 我觉得他也许我是说 我不喜欢向南方开枪 |
| 863 | I know you're in | 我知道你会加入 |
| 864 | Nashville, but I think he was from my car. | Nashville, 但我觉得他来自我的车。 |
| 865 | And, and he was dating a girl that just clearly | 而且,他正在和一个女孩约会 很明显 |
| 866 | wasn't came from the similar world where she's not talking about the world with him. | 不是来自类似的世界 她没有和他谈论这个世界 |
| 867 | And so he talks to other men about the world. | 所以他和其他人谈论世界 |
| 868 | And to him, it was shocking to have a partner | 对他来说,有一个伴侣是令人震惊的 |
| 869 | who was just as well versed in current events as he was. | 他和以前一样精通时事 |
| 870 | And so it's sort of like exposure, | 所以它有点像暴露, |
| 871 | right? | 对吧? |
| 872 | It's like, what are you used to? | 你习惯什么? |
| 873 | What are you used to? | 你习惯什么? |
| 874 | That's a really good question. | 这是一个非常好的问题。 |
| 875 | Do you find that when | 你发现当 |
| 876 | if somebody let's say, Sarah, that some you hear over here, somebody say something negative about | 如果有人说,莎拉,你听到有人说... ... |
| 877 | Aaron, do you like? | 亚伦 你喜欢吗? |
| 878 | No, that would never happen. | 不,那永远不会发生。 |
| 879 | Do you just them say that you do you flip out of like, you're much more protected. | 你是否只是他们说你发狂了, 你更受到保护。 |
| 880 | It's like one | 就像一个 |
| 881 | of those things where it's like, like, I can complain about my mom. | 我可以抱怨我妈妈 |
| 882 | But if you say something | 但是如果你说些什么 |
| 883 | about like, we're, it's, it's on. | 就像,我们,它,它,它。 |
| 884 | Not even a question. | 乃至问. |
| 885 | You don't want to do that. | 你不想这样做。 |
| 886 | Now, nobody ever would. | 现在,没有人会。 |
| 887 | But I mean, I can't think | 但是,我的意思是,我不能认为 |
| 888 | when maybe that has happened. | 也许这已经发生了。 |
| 889 | But no, that would be like, for all you want to say, there's no world | 但是,不,那会像, 所有你想说, 没有世界 |
| 890 | where I could ever sit there and be like, Oh, yeah, I agree. | 在那里我可以坐在那里 像,哦,是的,我同意。 |
| 891 | It's like, even if I do agree, | 这就像,即使我同意, |
| 892 | I'm not telling you. | 我不会告诉你。 |
| 893 | I'm not telling you that. | 我不会告诉你。 |
| 894 | Oh, well, I do talk shit about her with her husband. | 哦,好吧,我确实谈狗屎 关于她和她的丈夫。 |
| 895 | That I will do. | 我会做的。 |
| 896 | You know, like that's happened. | 你知道,就像发生。 |
| 897 | That's called bonding. | 这叫结交 |
| 898 | Yeah, that's, oh, no, like, there's like a there's like a hotline in my family of like, | 是啊,那是,哦,不,喜欢, 有像一个热线 在我家一样, |
| 899 | talking shit about me. | 谈论狗屎我。 |
| 900 | But yeah, no, that would be, that's not okay. | 但是,是的,不,这将是, 这是不好的。 |
| 901 | Yeah, we're protective of each other. | 是啊,我们互相保护。 |
| 902 | Yeah, I want to offer, I want to make sure we offer one more thing. | 是的,我想提供, 我想确保我们还有一件事。 |
| 903 | And that is for, | 这是给, |
| 904 | for people who are really struggling with the idea of feeling like they're big people pleasers, | 对于那些真正挣扎 的想法,他们觉得 他们像大 人取悦, |
| 905 | they're feeling like they always have somebody like them. | 他们觉得他们总是有这样的人 |
| 906 | What mindset do y'all have of | 你们有什么心态 |
| 907 | what do you tell yourself when somebody is either disagreeing, or just don't feel like | 你告诉自己什么 当有人 要么不同意, 或者只是不觉得 |
| 908 | they like you at all when you get in that people pleasing mentality? | 他们喜欢你 当你进入 人喜欢的心态? |
| 909 | What's what comes to mind? | 唤作甚么. |
| 910 | You know, for so long, I was like, I don't care. | 你知道,这么久以来, 我很喜欢, 我不在乎。 |
| 911 | I don't care, like, blah, blah, blah. | 我不关心,像,等等,等等。 |
| 912 | And that's like, I kind of realized, like, it's cool to care. | 这就像,我有点意识到, 像,这是很酷的关心。 |
| 913 | Like, I do care, I do want people | 喜欢,我在乎,我确实想要人 |
| 914 | to like me. | 喜欢我。 |
| 915 | I do want people to think I'm a good person, you know, I do want people to | 我确实希望人们觉得我是个好人 你知道,我确实希望人们 |
| 916 | feel good around me. | 我周围感觉很好 |
| 917 | I want to make people feel good. | 欲令众生安乐. |
| 918 | I think I used to find how I used to find | 我想我曾经找到 我曾经找到 |
| 919 | like, this, like, it was like this weird kink where I got off on like, not caring, | 喜欢,这个,喜欢, 它就像一个奇怪的 怪怪的,我下车喜欢,不关心, |
| 920 | and this whole narrative of whatever. | 和这整个叙述什么的。 |
| 921 | I don't know if I'm answering your question, but | 我不知道我是不是在回答你的问题 但是... |
| 922 | Yeah, that became Yeah, | 是啊,这变成了是啊, |
| 923 | Sarah's coming from the opposite position where she so has never been a people pleaser that now | 莎拉来自相反的位置 在那里,她从来没有 一个民族高兴的现在 |
| 924 | she's learning it's okay sometimes to consider how Yeah, I guess what I'm saying is, like, | 她学会了有时候可以考虑一下 是的,我想我的意思是,像, |
| 925 | it's okay to be a people pleaser. | 做一个讨人喜欢的人是好的。 |
| 926 | I think this narrative of like being a people pleaser is bad. | 我觉得这种说辞 像个讨人喜欢的民族是不好的。 |
| 927 | I think there's a I think it is okay to want to be the kind of person that pleases people. | 我想有种感觉,我想想成为 喜欢人的人是没关系的。 |
| 928 | It doesn't mean at the expense of your own happiness or at the expense of your nervous, | 这并不意味着牺牲自己的幸福 或牺牲你的紧张 |
| 929 | you know, your nervous system or like everything within reason. | 你知道,你的神经系统 或者喜欢理性中的一切。 |
| 930 | I think we got to flip it a little | 我想我们得翻一下 |
| 931 | bit because it's not a bad thing to want to please people and make people feel good. | 因为它不是坏事 想要取悦人们 和让人们感觉好。 |
| 932 | Yeah, I've tried to say that it's okay to be it's okay to try to please people as long as | 是的,我试着说,这是好的 它是好的 它试图取悦人们,只要 |
| 933 | you're one of them. | 你是他们的一员。 |
| 934 | You know, yeah, you just you also have to be such a good line of that. | 你知道,是的,你只是你 也必须是一个这么好的一行。 |
| 935 | Yeah, it's okay to want to please people. | 是啊,这是没关系 想取悦人们。 |
| 936 | It's okay. | 没关系。 |
| 937 | Yeah, I always think I always think | 是啊,我总是认为我总是认为 |
| 938 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我做决定时 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我决定 | |
| 939 | people might not be happy with. | 人们可能不高兴。 |
| 940 | And I've learned that that really doesn't help. | 我学会了,这真的没有帮助。 |
| 941 | And I'm really | 我确实 |
| 942 | trying to learn to stop doing that. | 试图学习停止这样做。 |
| 943 | So if I'm tell me what you mean, you know, I don't know, | 所以,如果我告诉我 你是什么意思,你知道,我不知道, |
| 944 | I could be in like a music editing session with eight guys, and they all like one thing. | 我可以像一个音乐编辑会 与8个人, 他们都喜欢一件事。 |
| 945 | And I | 还有我 |
| 946 | know about to tell them that I wanted a different way. | 告诉他们我想用另一种方式 |
| 947 | And I have an anxiety that comes up of | 我有一个焦虑 由 |
| 948 | imagining their reaction, like the eye roll. | 想象他们的反应, 像眼卷。 |
| 949 | They're like, Oh, my God, like, I don't want to | 他们就像,我的上帝, 像,我不想 |
| 950 | have to change the song. | 必须改变歌曲。 |
| 951 | I don't I like I like it the way that it is. | 我不喜欢这样 |
| 952 | And then I'm about to get like | 然后我要变得像 |
| 953 | resistance or pushback, or at least even just like them side texting each other like, Oh, God. | 反抗或推倒, 或至少只是像他们一边发短信 彼此喜欢,哦,上帝。 |
| 954 | And the thought of that like scares me. | 这想法让我害怕 |
| 955 | You know, so my instinct is like, Okay, guys, | 所以我的直觉是,好吧,伙计们, |
| 956 | I know, please just like hear me out. | 我知道 请听我说完 |
| 957 | If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. | 若无功用亦无功用. |
| 958 | But I just really | 不过,我只是真的 |
| 959 | want to try something, please be open. | 想试试看,请开门 |
| 960 | And I'm like already sort of apologizing for wanting it | 我好像已经为想要它道歉了 |
| 961 | different. | 不一样 |
| 962 | And I don't think that it really gets me the thing I want. | 我不认为它真的让我想要的东西。 |
| 963 | I think it more just undermines | 我觉得更会破坏 |
| 964 | my own integrity. | 我个人的正直 |
| 965 | And I'm really trying to learn to stop doing that. | 我真的在努力学习 停止这样做。 |
| 966 | And instead to just be very | 而不是仅仅非常 |
| 967 | lean about it and go, you know what, I want to try this other thing, guys, is this an us thing, | 倾斜它,去, 你知道吗,我想试试 其他的事情,伙计们,这是我们的事情, |
| 968 | like that we're over thinkers and that we create all these stories in our head, like most likely | 就像我们超越了思想家 我们创造出我们脑海中所有的故事一样 |
| 969 | those guys were never going to group text about you, you know, but it's like I do the same shit. | 那些人从来就不想给你发短信 但就像我一样 |
| 970 | I'm always like telling myself I'm such an over thinker. | 我总是喜欢告诉自己 我是一个过度思考。 |
| 971 | I'm so anxiously attached. | 我是如此焦虑的附着。 |
| 972 | I'm so | 我是这样 |
| 973 | convinced. | 说服。 |
| 974 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}就像亚伦一样 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}那些会离开派对的人 | |
| 975 | person thinks this about us because we said that thing. | 人这么想我们 是因为我们说了那些话 |
| 976 | And now they're talking about it. | 而今众生说. |
| 977 | I think that's what I'm asking. | 我想这就是我要问的 |
| 978 | Jefferson knows. | 杰斐逊知道 |
| 979 | I would say most people think that. | 我会说大多数人都这么想。 |
| 980 | Like to me, | 对我来说 |
| 981 | I've always compared it to like we all, I mean, childhood, like we were all given these little | 我总是把它比作我们所有, 我的意思是,童年, 像我们都得到了这些小 |
| 982 | cassette tapes that have like certain stories on them. | 带子上有些故事 |
| 983 | That's like, I'm too much. | 这就像,我太多。 |
| 984 | I'm not enough. | 我还不够 |
| 985 | I'm not okay if they're not okay. | 如果他们不好,我不好 |
| 986 | Like there's these stories that they probably hate me. | 就像有些故事 他们可能恨我 |
| 987 | I'm | и琌 |
| 988 | true. | 没错 |
| 989 | Like how much of the time is it actually true? | 多少时间是真的? |
| 990 | To me, it rarely is. | 对我来说,它很少是。 |
| 991 | It's rarely the actual | 很少是真实的 |
| 992 | case. | 案例。 |
| 993 | It's just kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy where we've decided we're listening to it. | 它只是一种自我实现的预言 在那里,我们已经决定 我们正在听它。 |
| 994 | So | 这么说 |
| 995 | therefore it must be true. | 因此,它必须是真实的。 |
| 996 | And the question you have to continually pull back on is what do I | 你必须要继续思考的问题是 我该怎么办? |
| 997 | know to be true? | 知道这是真的吗? |
| 998 | Like what do I actually factually know to be true? | 比如我究竟知道什么是真实的? |
| 999 | And how much of it am I feeling | 我有多觉得 |
| 1000 | somebody else's feelings for them? | 别人对他们的感觉? |
| 1001 | Like you said, Erin, like it's not the no that bothers you. | 就像你说的,艾琳,你不会觉得烦 |
| 1002 | It's | 这是 |
| 1003 | the feelings you're anticipating after the no. | 你对"不"之后的预感 |
| 1004 | And the fact that we all do, we're afraid of that | 而事实上,我们都这样做, 我们害怕 |
| 1005 | disappointment of they're not going to like me or they're going to judge me or they're going to do | 失望他们不会喜欢我 或者会评判我 或者会做 |
| 1006 | X, Y, and Z because we're already trying to resolve their feelings for them before they even know | X,Y,和Z,因为我们已经试图 解决他们的感情 他们甚至不知道 |
| 1007 | what's happening. | 发生什么事了? |
| 1008 | And so when that happens, it's like it also affects how we talk. | 所以,当它发生的时候, 它就像它也影响了我们说话的方式。 |
| 1009 | So we use the, | 所以,我们使用, |
| 1010 | hey, I just wanted to please, and I'm sorry, I just really want to try because we're already hedging, | 嘿,我只是想取悦, 我很抱歉,我真的想试试,因为我们已经在套期了, |
| 1011 | expecting the feelings after the no. | 等待着"不"之后的感受 |
| 1012 | Well, I met a woman, you guys, I'm just going to grab | 好吧,我遇到一个女人,你们这些家伙, 我只是要去抢 |
| 1013 | my water. | 我的水,我爱的水 |
| 1014 | 15 years, I'll be right back. | 15年,我马上回来 |
| 1015 | You're good. | 你很不错。 |
| 1016 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1017 | I met a woman like 15 years ago who | 我15年前遇到一个女人 |
| 1018 | had a big job at a studio and she said that someone had told her this that she realized | 在一个工作室有个大工作 她说有人告诉她 她意识到 |
| 1019 | mostly women tend to write emails and use the word just a lot. | 女性大多会写邮件, |
| 1020 | Hey, just following up to check | 嘿,只是跟踪检查 |
| 1021 | in or just wanted to see if you read the material and that we have this sort of unintentional way of | 或只是想看看你是否读过材料 而我们有这种无意的方式 |
| 1022 | making sure it's okay that we're checking in, making sure it's okay we're asking if you did | 保证我们报到没问题 保证我们问你有没有 |
| 1023 | your job. | 你的工作 你的任务 |
| 1024 | We're making sure it's okay to reach out at all. | 我们正在确保它可以 伸手。 |
| 1025 | And so she said, I've learned to stop | 所以她说,我已经学会了停止 |
| 1026 | putting the word just, and just say I'm already using it, and put in the email, hey, I'm following | 直接说,我用过了,放进邮件里 |
| 1027 | up. | 起来 |
| 1028 | Hey, I wanted to check in with you and see how you feel about the thing. | 嘿,我想 与你检查一下 并看你对事情的感受。 |
| 1029 | And it's even that | 即使是这样 |
| 1030 | small change I think can be a mindset shift for us. | 我认为,小的改变可以成为我们思维的转变。 |
| 1031 | It's huge. | 这是巨大的。 |
| 1032 | Just is a word that signals | 只是一个字 信号 |
| 1033 | hesitancy. | 犹豫不决 |
| 1034 | It signals I'm trying not to be an inconvenience. | 这表示我尽量不造成不便 |
| 1035 | And if you just delete it, I mean, | 如果你只是删除它,我的意思是, |
| 1036 | you just grab it and pick it out of the next email, the next text message. | 你只要抓住它 从下一个电子邮件,下一个短信。 |
| 1037 | You sound a lot | 你听起来很多 |
| 1038 | more forward and a lot more assertive with that, you know, sacrificing any of the messages that | 更向前 更自信地说,你知道,牺牲任何信息 |
| 1039 | you were wanting to give in the first place. | 你本来想放弃的 |
| 1040 | Erin, I want to make sure and tell you congratulations | 艾琳,我想确认一下,恭喜你 |
| 1041 | on everything that you all have going on. | 关于你们所有的事 |
| 1042 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 1043 | Incredible. | 不可思议 |
| 1044 | I can't believe it's been three | 真不敢相信已经三个了 |
| 1045 | years since y'all discovered me. | 自从你们发现我之后 |
| 1046 | It really is. | 没错 |
| 1047 | That was the first thing Sarah said. | 这是莎拉第一句话 |
| 1048 | Big jump off point, I know. | 我知道,大跃进点。 |
| 1049 | It's really funny. | 这真的很有趣。 |
| 1050 | I bet you she has. | 我敢打赌,她有。 |
| 1051 | You've been killing it too. | 你也杀了它 |
| 1052 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 1053 | I guarantee you there's been at least one conversation where Sarah's like, yeah, | 我向你保证,至少有一次谈话 莎拉喜欢,是的, |
| 1054 | actually, you know, we had them on the podcast and then everything blew up. | 其实,你知道,我们得到了他们播客 然后一切爆炸。 |
| 1055 | By the way, more than | 顺便说一句,不止 |
| 1056 | once. | 曾经 |
| 1057 | I've said that. | 我已经说过了 |
| 1058 | Sarah really believes it. | 莎拉真的相信这一点。 |
| 1059 | But Jefferson, I'm curious, how much of your | 但是杰斐逊,我很好奇,你有多少 |
| 1060 | work life these days is this work and how much is being a lawyer? | 这几天的工作生活是这种工作吗? 做律师要多少钱? |
| 1061 | Oh, it's reversed. | 哦,这是逆转。 |
| 1062 | You know, | 你知道吗, |
| 1063 | by the, when y'all first, when I first talked to y'all, when we first had the conversation, | 当我第一次和你们谈话时 |
| 1064 | I was doing probably 10% of social media. | 我大概做了10%的社交媒体。 |
| 1065 | I mean, I just was, I saw it as a hobby. | 我的意思是,我只是, 我认为这是爱好。 |
| 1066 | I mean, | 我是说... |
| 1067 | saw it as a side thing. | 视之为边事. |
| 1068 | I never, ever expected it to be what it was. | 我从没想过会变成这样 |
| 1069 | And we had, I had a pretty big | 我们有过,我有一个相当大 |
| 1070 | following at the time, but I just, it was like, ah, this is just kind of, you know, a lot harder. | 跟着当时,但我只是, 它就像,啊,这只是一种,你知道, 很难。 |
| 1071 | And then? | 还有呢? |
| 1072 | Helping people. | 助众生. |
| 1073 | Then you came on the world's first podcast and it all. | 然后,你来到了世界上第一个播客 和这一切。 |
| 1074 | As soon as I, let me tell you what, everything really changed in my life. | 我一告诉你 我生命中的一切真的改变了 |
| 1075 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1076 | Once I met. | 我见过一次 |
| 1077 | So then it's, so are you still a practicing lawyer? | 那你还是执业律师吗? |
| 1078 | Yeah, still practicing lawyer, but I don't handle any of my own cases. | 是的,仍然执业律师, 但我不处理任何我自己的案件。 |
| 1079 | Cause you're a trial lawyer, right? | 因为你是审判律师 对吧? |
| 1080 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1081 | I just don't have time to handle hearings and mediations and everything else. | 我只是没有时间处理听证会和调解 以及其他一切 |
| 1082 | So I. | 我也一样。 |
| 1083 | Well, I need to sue somebody. | 我得起诉某人 |
| 1084 | I have someone I need to sue. | 我有个人要起诉。 |
| 1085 | Should I be? | 我应该吗? |
| 1086 | I bet there's a list. | 我敢打赌,有一个列表。 |
| 1087 | Just one person. | 只有一个人 |
| 1088 | But Jefferson, I have a question for you about conflict. | 但是Jefferson 我有个关于冲突的问题要问你 |
| 1089 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1090 | because, you know, right now we sort of like, I nodded to that earlier that, | 因为,你知道,现在我们有点喜欢, 我点头之前, |
| 1091 | are you exasperated with me, Sarah? | 你对我很兴奋吗,莎拉? |
| 1092 | Is that you just breathing? | 你只是呼吸吗? |
| 1093 | Just breathing. | 只是呼吸罢了 |
| 1094 | Just breathing oxygen. | 只是呼吸氧气。 |
| 1095 | Is that, is that right now there are so many issues in the world, | 现在世界上有这么多问题 |
| 1096 | whether it be abortion, Israel, gun control, there are so many like really intense issues | 不管是堕胎,以色列,枪支管制, 有很多像真正激烈的问题 |
| 1097 | that people feel like if you don't agree with me a hundred percent on this, then you are 100% written | 人们觉得如果你不同意我百分之百的赞成, 那么,你百分之百的写 |
| 1098 | off. | 关闭。 |
| 1099 | And by the way, I feel this way about certain issues that I'm trying to work on, like having an | 顺便说一下,我对某些问题有这种感觉, 我正在努力研究,比如有一个 |
| 1100 | understanding is still like being open to a person. | 理解还是像对一个人开放。 |
| 1101 | Or if you have 10 beliefs that you agree with, | 或者如果你有10种你同意的信念, |
| 1102 | but one that you don't, you're in this bucket. | 但有一个你没有, 你在这个桶。 |
| 1103 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1104 | 100%. | 百分百的 百分百的 百分百的 |
| 1105 | And I guess I had two questions. | 我想我有两个问题 |
| 1106 | One is I'm always fascinated how you personally handle it because if, you know, any, in my opinion, | 第一,我总是很迷恋你个人的处理方式 因为,如果,你知道,任何,在我看来, |
| 1107 | any smart person has their own opinions about the world, right? | 任何聪明人对世界都有自己的看法,对吧? |
| 1108 | Or a smart person, anyone who's smart | 或聪明人,任何聪明人 |
| 1109 | has looks at the world and goes like, I believe this is wrong or I believe this is right. | 看着世界,然后说,我认为这是错的 或者我认为这是对的。 |
| 1110 | And so how do you deal with someone having an opinion that you really believe is like not | 所以,你如何处理一个人 有你真正相信的意见 是像不 |
| 1111 | congruent with what's right? | 符合什么是正确的? |
| 1112 | I have the opinion that I would much rather you care harshly than | 我认为我更希望你小心一点 |
| 1113 | be ambivalent. | 充满矛盾 |
| 1114 | I'd much rather you care even on the side of being, let's say rude or disrespectful | 我更希望你关心 即使是在边上, 让我们说粗鲁或不尊重 |
| 1115 | or out of the norm than somebody who's just apathetic, who has no opinion whatsoever. | 或出乎人们的意料之外, |
| 1116 | Because to me, when you're lukewarm on decisions that are of world concern that you look at and | 因为对我来说,当你对世界关心的决定 感到冷漠时,你看着 |
| 1117 | say, okay, if I watch a video, can I say this is okay? | 说,好吧,如果我看一个视频, 我可以说这是可以的? |
| 1118 | Do I agree with what this is? | 我同意这是什么吗? |
| 1119 | Regardless of | 不论 |
| 1120 | the country, regardless of the affiliation, regardless of association, do I as an individual | 我作为一个个人,无论属于哪个国家,也无论与哪个社会有联系,我是否是个人? |
| 1121 | say this is okay in the world? | 说这在世界上还行吗? |
| 1122 | I would much rather you show that you care. | 我更希望你证明你在乎 |
| 1123 | So I'm more | 我更厉害了 |
| 1124 | tolerant of people who disagree because it shows at least that they care. | 容忍那些不同意的人 因为这至少表明他们在乎 |
| 1125 | And usually if it is the | 通常如果这是 |
| 1126 | side that disagrees with me, they hold something. | 和我意见不一的一方, 他们持有一些东西。 |
| 1127 | What I try to, I truly, this is going to sound | 我试图,我真的, 这是要去听起来 |
| 1128 | cheesy, but what I truly try to tell myself is they might know something that I don't. | 俗气 但我真正想告诉自己的是 他们可能知道一些我不知道的事 |
| 1129 | Seriously. | 说真的 |
| 1130 | Because they have a childhood, they have a something. | 因为他们有一个童年, 他们有一个东西。 |
| 1131 | What I tie it to is, and it really | 我把它绑起来就是,真的 |
| 1132 | does help, if I'm of the mentality of telling somebody that they're wrong, they have 10 beliefs | 帮助,如果我的心态 告诉别人 他们错了,他们有十种信仰 |
| 1133 | and they have that 11th one that's different from you and you say that one's wrong, most likely | 他们有第11个 和你不同 而你说一个人错了,最有可能 |
| 1134 | you're not telling them that they're wrong. | 你没有告诉他们 他们错了。 |
| 1135 | You're saying your grandparents are wrong. | 你是说你的祖父母错了 |
| 1136 | I'm saying your spouse is wrong. | 我是说你的配偶错了 |
| 1137 | I'm saying that thing you learned when you were three years old | 我是说你三岁时学到的东西 |
| 1138 | and you've done your whole entire life is all wrong. | 你一辈子都做错事了 |
| 1139 | People will go to the ends of the earth | 人们会走到地球的尽头 |
| 1140 | to ignore all evidence if it doesn't fit with what they feel, what they've known. | 无视所有的证据,如果它不符合 他们的感觉,他们知道。 |
| 1141 | That's why | 这就是为什么 |
| 1142 | if I'm able to ask questions, Sarah said it a minute ago, which is a good one, is if you | 如果我能问问题 Sarah在一分钟前说过 这是个好话 如果你 |
| 1143 | can find more ways to begin statements with questions and not questions of why, which can | 可以找到更多的办法,从问题开始发言,而不是从问题开始发言。 |
| 1144 | be accusatory. | 被指责。 |
| 1145 | If you were to ask, if Erin were asked, Sarah, why'd you do it like that? | 如果你问,如果问艾琳,莎拉, 你为什么这样做? |
| 1146 | That's | 这是 |
| 1147 | going to sound like you're questioning her authority. | 听起来你正在质疑她的权威 |
| 1148 | It's going to say, you think I'm dumb. | 它会说, 你以为我是哑巴。 |
| 1149 | You think I can't do this. | 你觉得我不能这样做。 |
| 1150 | You disagree with me. | 你不同意我的话 |
| 1151 | But if you say how, which is a process question, | 但是如果你说如何, 这是一个过程问题, |
| 1152 | or what, which is a content question, then people are much more understanding to say, hey, where | 或者什么,这是一个内容问题, 那么人们更理解说,嘿,在哪里 |
| 1153 | did you learn that? | 你学到了吗? |
| 1154 | How long have you felt that way? | 你这样想多久了? |
| 1155 | How long have you believed that? | 你相信这个多久了? |
| 1156 | People will | 人们会的 |
| 1157 | be more open and sharing than if they claim up. | 比他们声称的要开放和分享 |
| 1158 | And are there hot button issues that you have to | 有热按钮问题,你必须 |
| 1159 | take a deep breath and remind yourself to not get into an argument? | 深呼吸 提醒自己别吵架? |
| 1160 | It's usually, I have a really | 通常,我有一个真正的 |
| 1161 | issues. | 问题。 |
| 1162 | It's when I see something that I don't agree with. | 是时我见某甲不服. |
| 1163 | Like I was, this was last week, | 就像我,这是上周, |
| 1164 | I was at a doctor's office and there was a mother who was speaking very harshly to her like four | 我当时在医生的办公室 有个母亲对她说得很严酷 像四个 |
| 1165 | year old daughter. | 年长的女儿。 |
| 1166 | No, by the way, I wouldn't sit there. | 不,顺便说一句,我不会坐在那里。 |
| 1167 | I'd say something. | 我会说些什么。 |
| 1168 | That's who I am. | 这就是我。 |
| 1169 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1170 | Well, it was like, I was having to tell myself if she says one more thing, | 嗯,就像,我不得不告诉自己 如果她说一件事, |
| 1171 | I am absolutely willing to be, to be the voice of the opposing party. | 我绝对愿意成为反对党的声音。 |
| 1172 | And, and that was a really, | 而且,这是一个真正的, |
| 1173 | because she was, this girl was obviously, she had a cold, you know, and she's, she's the mom, | 因为她是,这个女孩显然是, 她有感冒,你知道,她是,她是妈妈, |
| 1174 | she's in cuss words, you know, here, here's the phone, gave me, you sneezed on my phone, | 她在胡言乱语,你知道,这里,这里的电话,给我,你打喷嚏在我的手机上, |
| 1175 | like just ugliness. | 喜欢只是丑陋。 |
| 1176 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1177 | To a baby, a four year old who is, has absolutely. | 对一个四岁的婴儿来说 绝对是 |
| 1178 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1179 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 1180 | I mean, she was every bed of four, four or five. | 我的意思是,她是每张床 四,四或五。 |
| 1181 | And so sometimes there's like a line | 所以有时候有条线 |
| 1182 | and there's been times where I've stepped into it of knowing that it's like, I'm, | 也曾有几次我踏入其中 知道这就像,我是, |
| 1183 | yeah, I'm okay being that person. | 是啊,我没事的人。 |
| 1184 | Like I'm not going to regret being that person. | 就像我不会后悔成为那个人一样 |
| 1185 | So that, | 这么说 |
| 1186 | that to me is the line. | 这对我来说是线。 |
| 1187 | I didn't choose to say anything to that mom other than instead of, | 我没有选择跟那个妈妈说什么 除了, |
| 1188 | this is what, this is what I did. | 这就是我所做的 |
| 1189 | If you, if you wanted the truth, because I was ready to tell, | 如果你,如果你想知道真相, 因为我准备告诉, |
| 1190 | I was ready to tell the mom you're dammit, what you're doing is planting a seed that's going to | 我准备告诉妈妈你该死,你正在做的是种下种子 |
| 1191 | damage this child more than you'll ever know. | 伤害这个孩子比你所知道的还要多 |
| 1192 | Instead of going after the mom. | 而不是去追妈妈。 |
| 1193 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1194 | Which is | 这是 |
| 1195 | what I wanted to say. | 我想说的 |
| 1196 | I wanted to be that person. | 我想成为那个人。 |
| 1197 | Instead I went up to the mom and I said, I need | 相反,我去妈妈说,我需要 |
| 1198 | to tell you, I think you have the most well-behaved, beautiful little girl. | 告诉你,我觉得你有一个 最乖,美丽的小女孩。 |
| 1199 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1200 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 1201 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1202 | And | 还有 |
| 1203 | I said that the mom's whole behavior just, Oh my gosh, thank you so much. | 我说,妈妈的整个行为 只是,我的天哪,非常感谢。 |
| 1204 | Yes. | 对 |
| 1205 | She is just, | 琌... |
| 1206 | she is, you know, she's a handful and she just, she, and she didn't say ugly thing | 她是,你知道, 她是一个小手 她只是,她, 她没有说丑事 |
| 1207 | for the rest of the whole, you know, for another 20 minutes that we were there. | 其余的,你知道, 20分钟,我们在那里。 |
| 1208 | You were like reminding her to see the good in her child. | 你就像提醒她看她孩子的好事一样 |
| 1209 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1210 | I think she just needed to know that, Hey, we all hear you. | 我想她只是需要知道, 嘿,我们都听到你。 |
| 1211 | And we're watching because if I | 而我们正在看 因为如果我 |
| 1212 | told her something negative, she wasn't going to, she was, she was only going to say, you know, | 告诉她一些负面的东西, 她不打算,她是, 她只是要说,你知道, |
| 1213 | who are you to be, it was only going to make her more defensive, but instead of by complimenting | 这只会让她更防守 而不是赞美 |
| 1214 | the fight in her. | 她的战斗。 |
| 1215 | And she would have felt shame. | 她会感到羞耻 |
| 1216 | And when we feel shame, I mean that we had to | 当我们感到羞愧,我的意思是,我们不得不 |
| 1217 | attack. | 攻击。 |
| 1218 | So you got it. | 所以说,你得到了它。 |
| 1219 | She would have said, Oh, I feel like a bad mother. | 她会说, 哦,我觉得像个坏母亲。 |
| 1220 | She's not going to admit | 她不会承认的 |
| 1221 | that she's a bad mother. | 她是一个坏母亲。 |
| 1222 | Instead. | 取而代之. |
| 1223 | She's going to fight to say, who's this, who's this guy? | 她要吵架说 这是谁 这家伙是谁 |
| 1224 | Who are | 谁 |
| 1225 | you? | 你吗? |
| 1226 | And she would have gotten in the car and taken it out on the daughter for, yeah. | 她会上车 把它拿在女儿身上 |
| 1227 | No, you, | 没有,你 |
| 1228 | listen, you, you did exactly. | 听着,你,你确实做到了。 |
| 1229 | That's why you're the professional and I'm not. | 所以你是专业的 而我不是 |
| 1230 | I would have been | 我会是 |
| 1231 | like, shut up. | 像,闭嘴。 |
| 1232 | It was, it was bad. | 这是,这是不好的。 |
| 1233 | It was really bad. | 这真的很糟。 |
| 1234 | It was, it was, it was bad, but that instead | 这是,这是,它是坏的, 但相反 |
| 1235 | of yelling at her, I complimented her daughter. | 我赞美她的女儿。 |
| 1236 | And that, that, that has a different way of twisting | 那,那,有 不同的方式扭曲 |
| 1237 | it. | 这个 |
| 1238 | But I find that a lot of times in the contrasts, uh, people will do something, do something | 但我发现很多时候 在对比,呃, 人们会做一些事情,做一些事情 |
| 1239 | different. | 不一样 |
| 1240 | Um, I will say, uh, Sarah, can I, I'm going to, can I point out something that I've | 嗯,我会说,呃,莎拉, 我能,我要去, 我可以指出一些事情,我有 |
| 1241 | seen? | 看到没? |
| 1242 | Are you cool with that? | 你同意吗? |
| 1243 | Whether we call it, we use this or not is, um, you tend to begin | 无论我们叫它,我们用这个与否,嗯,你倾向于开始 |
| 1244 | your responses with yeah, but, and I think I want you to try like not to do that. | 你的反应是的,但我想 我希望你尽量不要这样做。 |
| 1245 | Just try. | 试试看 |
| 1246 | And over | 结束 |
| 1247 | the next like two days, just try not to. | 接下来的两天 尽量不要这样 |
| 1248 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1249 | Why do you from friend to friend? | 你为什么从朋友到朋友? |
| 1250 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1251 | But | 不过 |
| 1252 | why do you think I do that? | 你觉得我为什么要这么做? |
| 1253 | Is that like a, is that a defensive? | 这就像一个, 这是一个防御? |
| 1254 | Do you hear what she just did? | 你听到她刚才做了什么吗? |
| 1255 | She just, you literally, you just said, yeah, but why do you | 她只是,你字面意思, 你刚才说,是的,但你为什么 |
| 1256 | Why, wait, no, no, this is crazy. | 等等,这太疯狂了 |
| 1257 | Use a question that's not, don't use why. | 用一个不是的问题,不要用原因。 |
| 1258 | Use something, use a different one. | 用点别的吧 |
| 1259 | I wonder why I do that. | 我不知道我为什么这样做。 |
| 1260 | There are other questions starters. | 还有其他问题要问 |
| 1261 | Jefferson. | 杰弗逊 |
| 1262 | Yes. | 对 |
| 1263 | Can you identify a potential reason why I do that? | 你能找出我这样做的潜在原因吗? |
| 1264 | What causes that? | 为什么? |
| 1265 | Or how that happens? | 还是怎么发生的? |
| 1266 | Yeah, how does that happen? | 怎么会这样? |
| 1267 | Why does that happen? | 为什么? |
| 1268 | I will tell you, when I hear you say, yeah, but, | 我会告诉你,当我听到你说,是的,但是, |
| 1269 | what the effect is on the other person | 对他人有什么影响 |
| 1270 | is you sidestep everything they just said. | 你躲开他们刚才说的 |
| 1271 | You just dismissed it. | 你刚刚放弃了它。 |
| 1272 | You just swiped it off the screen. | 你刚把它从屏幕上擦掉 |
| 1273 | And so you don't validate the thing that somebody said. | 所以你不验证 有人说的话。 |
| 1274 | So it's not like, so instead of the yeah, but, | 所以,它不是像, 所以代替了 是的,但是, |
| 1275 | because it's an easy way just to, | 因为这很简单 |
| 1276 | you're swatting a fly and go, let me take the stage. | 你打苍蝇然后走 让我上台 |
| 1277 | Let me go ahead and grab the mic. | 让我去拿麦克风 |
| 1278 | I hear that. | 我听见了 |
| 1279 | Let me tell you what I was saying. | 让我告诉你我说什么。 |
| 1280 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1281 | Instead, it's gonna go better if you go, I hear that. | 相反,它会去更好 如果你去,我听到了。 |
| 1282 | What I also think is. | 我也这么想 |
| 1283 | I wonder if I do this all the time. | 不知道我是不是一直这样 |
| 1284 | Now I wanna go back to podcasts | 现在我想回去播客 |
| 1285 | and is this just a mechanism that I use all the time? | 这是否只是我一直使用的一种机制? |
| 1286 | Cause I've never, when you say it, I think, oh yeah, | 因为我从来没有,当你说出来, 我认为,哦,是的, |
| 1287 | this is just my sort of default cadence maybe. | 这也许只是我那种默认的节奏 |
| 1288 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1289 | It's lots of, it's all it is. | 这是很多,它的全部。 |
| 1290 | It's a habit. | 这是一个习惯。 |
| 1291 | That's it. | 就这样 |
| 1292 | But if you were to say, I hear that. | 但是如果你说,我听到了。 |
| 1293 | I feel that. | 我感觉到了 |
| 1294 | I see that. | 我看见了 |
| 1295 | Like these sensitive words of affirming what they said. | 就像这些敏感的话 肯定他们说的话。 |
| 1296 | That's it. | 就这样 |
| 1297 | That's better communication. | 这样比较好沟通。 |
| 1298 | Way better than that yeah, but, and then, | 好多了,但是,然后, |
| 1299 | or how about this too? | 还是这个也行? |
| 1300 | Is if you ask to give your take. | 你要是愿意接受的话 |
| 1301 | For example, if you're gonna go, yeah, I hear that. | 举例来说,如果你要去,是的,我听到了。 |
| 1302 | Can I share with you what I'm thinking of? | 我能跟你分享我的想法吗? |
| 1303 | And they go, yeah, please. | 他们走了,是的,请。 |
| 1304 | That sounds good. | 这听起来不错。 |
| 1305 | 从吾观之, blah, blah, blah, blah. | |
| 1306 | That's, no, listen, I wanna be the, | 不 听着 我想成为... |
| 1307 | I like the idea of, can I share my thoughts | 我喜欢的想法,我可以分享我的想法 |
| 1308 | on what I was thinking? | 我当时在想什么? |
| 1309 | Or like, can I tell you how I experienced it? | 或者,我可以告诉你我是如何经历的吗? |
| 1310 | I would never say that, but this is good. | 我绝不会这么说,但这样很好 |
| 1311 | See, no, but this is good. | 你看,没有,但这是很好的。 |
| 1312 | This is solid feedback. | 这是可靠的反馈。 |
| 1313 | See, I always think that I say like too much | 你看,我总是认为我说得太过分了 |
| 1314 | or I say something I do a lot. | 或者说一些我常做的事 |
| 1315 | Something I do a lot is, you know, you know. | 我经常做的事情是,你知道,你知道的。 |
| 1316 | You know, like when I don't know what I wanna, | 你知道,就像当我不知道我想要什么, |
| 1317 | when I'm not clear about what I wanna say, I say, you know, | 当我不清楚我想说什么时, 我说,你知道, |
| 1318 | which is so cringe. | 这真是令人难以置信。 |
| 1319 | I gotta. | 我必须要 |
| 1320 | No, it's a lot of people use it. | 不,这是很多人使用它。 |
| 1321 | I just use it a lot. | 我只是经常使用它。 |
| 1322 | You know what I'm saying? | 你知道我在说什么吗? |
| 1323 | You know what I mean? | 你知道我的意思吗? |
| 1324 | You know what I mean, you know what I'm saying. | 你知道我的意思, 你知道我在说什么。 |
| 1325 | I say that a lot in the podcast. | 我在播客里常这么说 |
| 1326 | To the point where I've had to say to our editor, | 我不得不对编辑说 |
| 1327 | you gotta like edit out the 50, you know what I mean? | 你要喜欢编辑50,你知道我的意思吗? |
| 1328 | You know what I'm saying? | 你知道我在说什么吗? |
| 1329 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1330 | I don't see any problem with it. | 我没觉得有什么问题 |
| 1331 | It's where it just becomes overwhelming. | 简直是一团糟 |
| 1332 | I would much rather that than the person who says right | 我宁愿这样 也不愿说对话的人 |
| 1333 | after every sentence. | 在每一句之后。 |
| 1334 | Oh, I think I do that too. | 哦,我想我也这样做。 |
| 1335 | That can be. | 这可以。 |
| 1336 | I think I, I think I do that too. | 我想我,我想我也这样做。 |
| 1337 | I actually think I do that a lot too. | 其实我也经常这么做 |
| 1338 | All right, well that's good homework. | 好吧,这是很好的作业。 |
| 1339 | Jefferson, maybe you need to do some sort of | 杰斐逊 也许你需要做点什么 |
| 1340 | like retreat bootcamp situation to. | 像是撤退后营的情况 |
| 1341 | That's what we did. | 这就是我们所做的。 |
| 1342 | And then we'll invite Ben Bruno over to help. | 然后我们邀请本布鲁诺来帮忙 |
| 1343 | To keep our asses, our asses lifted while we're. | 为了保持我们的屁股, 我们的屁股抬起来,而我们是在。 |
| 1344 | Wait, so how do you work with Ben Bruno | 等等,你和本·布鲁诺是怎么工作的? |
| 1345 | if you live in Nashville? | 如果你住在纳什维尔? |
| 1346 | He's got an app. | 他有一个应用程序。 |
| 1347 | We don't train together. | 我们不是一起训练的 |
| 1348 | I mean, we, yeah, of course he has the app. | 我的意思是,我们,是的, 他当然有应用程序。 |
| 1349 | I'm always going to plug his app. | 我总是要插他的应用。 |
| 1350 | Oh, okay. | 哦,还好。 |
| 1351 | I didn't know he did the app. | 我不知道他做了应用。 |
| 1352 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1353 | Yeah, he has the app. | 是的,他有应用程序。 |
| 1354 | He has an app, which is great. | 他有一个应用,这是伟大的。 |
| 1355 | His app is so good. | 他的应用非常棒 |
| 1356 | He and I, it is. | 他和我,这是。 |
| 1357 | He and I connected on social several years ago. | 几年前他和我在社交上建立了联系 |
| 1358 | And then we've just been good friends since. | 然后我们刚刚成为好朋友 |
| 1359 | He's come over, hung out. | 他过来了,挂了。 |
| 1360 | He's just a good solid dude. | 他只是个好男人 |
| 1361 | He and Nicole are. | 他和妮可是一样 |
| 1362 | He's a great guy. | 他是个好人 |
| 1363 | Yeah, he's awesome. | 是啊,他真棒。 不错。 |
| 1364 | And so every time I've been to LA, | 所以每次我去洛杉矶的时候 |
| 1365 | I think two or three times now, | 我想现在两三次, |
| 1366 | I always work out with him just to be able to see him. | 我总是和他一起工作 只是为了能见到他 |
| 1367 | Really it is at his spot because he's the best. | 这真的在他的位置 因为他是最好的。 |
| 1368 | Erin and Sarah, thank you all so much | 艾琳和莎拉,非常感谢你们 |
| 1369 | for spending some time with me. | 与我相处一段时间。 |
| 1370 | Out of your crazy busy schedule | 离开你疯狂的繁忙日程 |
| 1371 | with everything you'll have going on. | 与一切你将拥有的一切。 |
| 1372 | You're so easy to talk to, | 你这么容易说话, |
| 1373 | which I think. | 我认为。 |
| 1374 | I'm so happy for you. | 我为你高兴 |
| 1375 | Not everybody's easy to talk to, you know? | 不是每个人都容易说话,你知道吗? |
| 1376 | You're easy to talk to. | 你很容易说话。 |
| 1377 | Well, hey, any time y'all wanna call in, | 好吧,嘿,任何时间 你们想打电话, |
| 1378 | what do they call it? | 他们怎么称呼它? |
| 1379 | Yap. | 对 |
| 1380 | I don't know if that's the word, yap. | 我不知道是不是这个词,YAP。 |
| 1381 | Gab? | 盖伯? |
| 1382 | Yeah, gab. | 是啊,盖布。 |
| 1383 | That the thing? | 是这样吗? |
| 1384 | Any time y'all wanna holler, let me know. | 你们随时想大叫,就告诉我 |
| 1385 | It's always good to see y'all. | 很高兴见到你们 |
| 1386 | By the way, you don't do conflict resolution for people. | 顺便说一句,你不会为人民解决冲突。 |
| 1387 | Like, do you like work with families | 喜欢和家人一起工作吗? |
| 1388 | and do stuff like that? | 做那样的事? |
| 1389 | You don't really do that. | 你不是真的这样做。 |
| 1390 | No, but I have. | 没有,但我有。 |
| 1391 | He would for the people that discovered him. | 他会为发现他的人着想 |
| 1392 | You know? | 你知道吗? |
| 1393 | That's exactly right. | 没错 |
| 1394 | Anytime you're like, hey, you know who should ask? | 嘿,你知道谁该问吗? |
| 1395 | Jefferson. | 杰弗逊 |
| 1396 | Seriously, shoot me a text | 说真的,给我发条短信 |
| 1397 | and I'm always there for the foster sisters. | 我总是在那里 为养姐妹。 |
| 1398 | All right, guys. | 好吧,伙计们。 |
| 1399 | Thank y'all so much. | 非常感谢你们 |
| 1400 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 1401 | Thanks, guys. | 谢谢 |
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