（中英附文稿）一次失败，就开始觉得自己不行？从自我怀疑到重新
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Everyone has a plan until emotions come in, | 每个人都有一个计划,直到情感出现, |
| 0:02 | completely derail whatever you thought you were gonna do. | 彻底破坏你的想法 |
| 0:05 | We have a tendency to believe | 我们有一个倾向相信 |
| 0:06 | that it's the negative emotions that only hijack us, | 只有消极的情绪 劫持我们, |
| 0:09 | but it's the positive emotions that can hijack you. | 但它是积极的情绪 可以劫持你。 |
| 0:12 | When did you feel like you were able | 你什么时候觉得自己可以 |
| 0:13 | to start letting go of the anger? | 开始放下愤怒? |
| 0:15 | I consciously realized that it wasn't helping me. | 我自觉地意识到这对我毫无帮助. |
| 0:18 | It went from being my sword and my shield | 它不再是我的剑和盾牌 |
| 0:19 | to being my anchor. | 作为我的锚。 |
展开字幕全文（1668 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Everyone has a plan until emotions come in, | 每个人都有一个计划,直到情感出现, |
| 2 | completely derail whatever you thought you were gonna do. | 彻底破坏你的想法 |
| 3 | We have a tendency to believe | 我们有一个倾向相信 |
| 4 | that it's the negative emotions that only hijack us, | 只有消极的情绪 劫持我们, |
| 5 | but it's the positive emotions that can hijack you. | 但它是积极的情绪 可以劫持你。 |
| 6 | When did you feel like you were able | 你什么时候觉得自己可以 |
| 7 | to start letting go of the anger? | 开始放下愤怒? |
| 8 | I consciously realized that it wasn't helping me. | 我自觉地意识到这对我毫无帮助. |
| 9 | It went from being my sword and my shield | 它不再是我的剑和盾牌 |
| 10 | to being my anchor. | 作为我的锚。 |
| 11 | He's a licensed therapist | 他是个有执照的心理医生 |
| 12 | and one of the most trusted voices | 和最信任的声音之一, |
| 13 | on making mental health accessible. | 提供心理健康服务。 |
| 14 | He's an author of a new book called | 他是新书的作者 |
| 15 | It All Starts When You Do. | 都从你开始 |
| 16 | The one and only Keir Gaines. | 只有基尔盖恩斯 |
| 17 | Why do you think so many people | 为什么你认为这么多人 |
| 18 | like to be a victim in their lives? | 喜欢成为他们生活中的受害者? |
| 19 | The idea of self-victimization | 自我受害的想法 |
| 20 | is the most salient and grabbable thought to them. | 对他们来说是最突出和最能抓住的思维。 |
| 21 | When someone else does something to you, | 当别人对你做了什么 |
| 22 | I think it's more obvious to the brain what happened. | 我觉得大脑更清楚发生了什么 |
| 23 | It's not your fault. | 这不是你的错。 |
| 24 | It allows you to exonerate yourself from any wrongdoing. | 它允许你免除任何错误 |
| 25 | Blame doesn't do that. | 责其不为. |
| 26 | Blame is a heat-seeking missile | 怪罪是寻热导弹 |
| 27 | and it just needs to hit something. | 它只是需要打的东西。 |
| 28 | What is the biggest challenge that holds all people back | 最大的挑战是什么 让所有人都退缩 |
| 29 | from feeling more fulfilled and happy in your mind? | 在你的脑海中感到更加满足和快乐? |
| 30 | Waiting. | 等着 |
| 31 | Waiting for what? | 等着什么? |
| 32 | That's the million dollar question, waiting for what? | 这是百万美元的问题,等待什么? |
| 33 | If someone is feeling stuck right now, | 如果有人现在觉得卡住了 |
| 34 | watching or listening to this, | 看或听这个, |
| 35 | you believe it's likely due to | 你相信这可能是因为 |
| 36 | unconscious emotional hijacking. | 失去意识的情感劫持。 |
| 37 | Oh yeah. | 对 |
| 38 | What does that actually mean? | 这到底是什么意思? |
| 39 | So you remember Mike Tyson had that quote | 所以你记得迈克·泰森的话 |
| 40 | where he says everybody has a plan | 他说每个人都有计划 |
| 41 | until you get punched in the face. | 直到你的脸被打。 |
| 42 | Unconscious emotional hijacking is very similar. | 无意识的情感劫持非常相似. |
| 43 | Everyone has a plan until emotions come | 每个人都有计划,直到情绪降临 |
| 44 | and completely derail whatever you thought | 使你所想的完全脱轨, |
| 45 | you were gonna do. | 你本来打算这么做的 |
| 46 | Your emotions. | 你的情绪 |
| 47 | Your emotions and absolutely the things that you feel | 你的情感和绝对的感受 |
| 48 | either deeply or more topically. | 或深入或更多话题。 |
| 49 | And we have a tendency to believe | 我们有一个倾向相信 |
| 50 | that it's the negative emotions that only hijack us. | 只有消极的情绪 才会劫持我们 |
| 51 | You wanna go in and you wanna be the best father | 你想进去做最好的父亲 |
| 52 | that you can but fear and insecurity hijack you | 你只能恐惧和不安全 劫持你 |
| 53 | and instead of taking the kids to the park, | 而不是带孩子们去公园 |
| 54 | you kinda sit on the couch and you just ruminate. | 你坐在沙发上,乱翻 |
| 55 | But it's the positive emotions that can hijack you. | 但积极的情绪会劫持你 |
| 56 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 57 | How so? | 为什么? |
| 58 | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| 59 | So let's say one example that I really like is | 因此,让我们说一个例子,我真的喜欢的是 |
| 60 | if Lewis and I have a disagreement, | 如果刘易斯和我意见不一 |
| 61 | you and I have a disagreement | 你我意见不一 |
| 62 | and I feel like you disrespected me Lewis. | 我觉得你不尊重我 路易斯 |
| 63 | And I come in and I've been washing my dishes in my kitchen | 我进来在厨房洗盘子 |
| 64 | and I've been practicing all these things | 我一直在练习这些东西 |
| 65 | I wanna say to you. | 我想对你说 |
| 66 | I wanna bring up how you've never been there for me | 我想提起你从未为我做过的事 |
| 67 | you weren't that good of a friend. | 你没有那么好的朋友。 |
| 68 | I have all these, I've developed this script | 这些我都有,我开发了这个剧本 |
| 69 | that I wanna explain to you to tell you | 我想告诉你 |
| 70 | how much you haven't been to me. | 你对我有多没兴趣 |
| 71 | To make you feel as hurt as you made me feel. | 让你觉得自己像伤害我一样 |
| 72 | And then when I come in you're all smiles | 当我进来时,你们都笑着 |
| 73 | and you're all apologies and you completely disarm me. | 你们都道歉 完全解除我的武装 |
| 74 | You disarming me doesn't mean that | 你解除我的武装并不意味着 |
| 75 | I don't still have conflict with you | 我和你没什么矛盾 |
| 76 | that doesn't need to be discussed. | 这不需要讨论。 |
| 77 | But the good feelings completely hijack the plans | 但好感完全破坏了计划 |
| 78 | that I've had and now the situation is completely different | 现在情况完全不同了 |
| 79 | and so is the strategy that I deployed. | 我所部署的战略也是如此。 |
| 80 | So that happens a lot to us | 所以我们经常发生这种事 |
| 81 | and I think that there's a profound sense of guilt | 我觉得有一种深刻的内疚感 |
| 82 | that is associated with deviating | 与偏离有关 |
| 83 | from whatever your game plan was | 无论你的游戏计划是什么 |
| 84 | because of the way that you feel. | 因为你的感受 |
| 85 | And the guilt is understandable | 内疚是可以理解的 |
| 86 | but a lot of work that I do as a therapist | 但我做很多治疗师的工作 |
| 87 | is helping people navigate around the guilt. | 帮助人们摆脱罪恶感 |
| 88 | To still reach, to still resolve your conflicts, | 继续伸手 继续解决你的冲突 |
| 89 | to still understand what the distress is | 继续理解什么是痛苦 |
| 90 | between you and the other person. | 你和另一个人之间 |
| 91 | And so that you could still be whole, | 这样你才能保持完整 |
| 92 | you could still explain yourself, | 你还可以解释一下 |
| 93 | you could still move in a direction | 你还可以朝一个方向移动 |
| 94 | that brings you closer toward a sense of fulfillment | 使你更加接近满足感, |
| 95 | or a sense of self-expression instead of just venturing off | 或一种自我表达的感觉 而不是随便冒出来 |
| 96 | into the great blue yonder. | 进入蓝色的天空 |
| 97 | Talking about the things that really need to be discussed. | 谈论真正需要讨论的事情。 |
| 98 | Of all the clients that you've worked with in the past | 过去你合作过的所有客户中 |
| 99 | and all the people that you either work with | 和所有与你共事的人 |
| 100 | directly or indirectly online, | 直接或间接在线, |
| 101 | what is the biggest challenge that holds all people back | 最大的挑战是什么 阻碍所有人 |
| 102 | from feeling more fulfilled and happy in your mind? | 在你的脑海中感到更加满足和快乐? |
| 103 | Waiting. | 等着 |
| 104 | Waiting for what? | 等着什么? |
| 105 | Good question. | 问得好 |
| 106 | That's the million dollar question, waiting for what? | 这是百万美元的问题,等待什么? |
| 107 | It depends on the person. | 这取决于个人。 |
| 108 | I'm a fan, I see you got a football right there. | 我是你的粉丝,我看你有橄榄球 |
| 109 | You're like, y'all don't know, which one is my camera? | 你们不知道哪部是我的相机? |
| 110 | That one right there, yeah. | 那个就在那里,是的。 |
| 111 | Okay, you all don't know, but Lewis is like six foot eight. | 好吧,你们不知道, 但刘易斯就像6英尺8。 |
| 112 | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 对,对,对 |
| 113 | So you- | 这么说你... |
| 114 | Do I not look tall on social media? | 我在社交媒体上不高吗? |
| 115 | You're just sitting down, I hate every day. | 你只是坐下来,我每天都讨厌 |
| 116 | But so you're a sports guy, | 但你是个运动家 |
| 117 | and sports guys know that you get good | 和运动的人知道 你变得好 |
| 118 | at the things that you practice. | 以你们的行为盟誓, |
| 119 | And a lot of the times we get really good | 很多时候,我们得到了真正的好 |
| 120 | at practicing waiting. | 在练习等待。 |
| 121 | We wait until we find the right kind of love in our lives, | 我们等待 直到我们找到 我们生活中正确的爱, |
| 122 | we wait until we feel ready, | 我们等待 直到我们觉得准备好了, |
| 123 | we wait until we feel inspired. | 我们等我们感到灵感。 |
| 124 | And when you practice waiting | 当你练习等待时 |
| 125 | and you become good at waiting, | 你们必定是善于等待的, |
| 126 | it gets harder to become unstuck from that pattern of waiting. | 更难摆脱这种等待模式 |
| 127 | That's right. | 没错 |
| 128 | In the perfect moment, it rarely comes. | 在完美的时刻,它很少出现。 |
| 129 | You don't get a perfect moment, | 你没有得到一个完美的时刻, |
| 130 | you only get the moment that's right in front of you. | 你只得到那一刻,就在你面前。 |
| 131 | So when people come into my office | 所以当人们来到我的办公室 |
| 132 | or if I have a speaking event | 或者如果我有个演讲活动 |
| 133 | and I'm talking to people afterwards, | 之后我和别人说话 |
| 134 | that's one of the through lines, no matter where you from, | 无论你从哪里来 |
| 135 | no matter how you identify, | 不管你如何识别, |
| 136 | no matter what culture you hail from, it's waiting. | 无论你来自什么文化 它都在等待 |
| 137 | You know it's interesting you say that, | 你知道这很有趣 你说, |
| 138 | like the perfect moment. | 像完美的时刻。 |
| 139 | Let's say you waited for the perfect moment. | 假设你等待着完美的时刻 |
| 140 | Like you did all the things, you got the degree, | 就像你做了所有的事情, 你有学位, |
| 141 | you got the website built before you launched, | 在你启动之前你已经建立了网站 |
| 142 | you got the whatever, you got the courage, | 你得到了什么, 你有勇气, |
| 143 | you put the right outfit on to go ask someone out, | 你穿上合适的衣服去约人出去 |
| 144 | whatever it might be. | 无论它是什么。 |
| 145 | Most of the time, even if there was a perfect moment | 大多数时候,即使有一个完美的时刻 |
| 146 | when you did everything you were supposed to do | 当你做了你应该做的事 |
| 147 | to be ready for a perfect moment, | 准备好一个完美的时刻, |
| 148 | people still don't take action when everything's perfect. | 当一切完美的时候 人们还是不采取行动 |
| 149 | It's like, like you said, there's no perfect moment | 就像你说的 没有完美的瞬间 |
| 150 | and if there was, you probably still wouldn't take action | 如果有的话 你可能还是不会采取行动 |
| 151 | because you don't have the courage | 因为你没有勇气 |
| 152 | or the skillset of acting when things aren't perfect. | 或者在事情不完美时演技 |
| 153 | So why would you wait years | 那你为什么要等几年 |
| 154 | until something's perfect to act? | 直到事情完美地发生? |
| 155 | Yeah, that's that internal readiness architecture, | 是啊,那是内部准备结构, |
| 156 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你内心的准备如何 | |
| 157 | and your mind and your heart, but it's two part. | 和你的心和心, 但这是两个部分。 |
| 158 | There's another part to that too. | 还有另一个部分。 |
| 159 | You develop this idea of what perfect | 你对完美的想法 |
| 160 | is supposed to look like. | 应该是看起来像。 |
| 161 | You've drawn up this idea and it's not based | 你提出这个主意了,没有根据 |
| 162 | on anything concrete or anything you've seen. | 任何具体的东西 或者任何你见过的东西 |
| 163 | You've never experienced perfect. | 你从来没有经历过完美的。 |
| 164 | So how do you know it when you see it? | 所以,你怎么知道 当你看到它? |
| 165 | So if the moment was right on top of you right now, | 所以,如果那一刻 恰好在你现在, |
| 166 | would you be able to recognize it? | 你能认出来吗? |
| 167 | That's what's dangerous about it. | 这才是危险 |
| 168 | What if this is the perfect moment? | 如果这是完美的时刻呢? |
| 169 | And instead of acting in it, | 而不是演戏 |
| 170 | like you promised yourself you would, | 就像你答应过自己一样 |
| 171 | you're still waiting for it to look like something else. | 你还在等它看起来像别的东西 |
| 172 | What are people afraid of most? | 人们最怕什么? |
| 173 | Like, why are they so afraid to take action | 为什么他们这么害怕采取行动 |
| 174 | on whatever it is they wanna act on? | 不管他们想做什么? |
| 175 | What are they afraid of that they feel they need to wait | 他们害怕什么 他们觉得他们需要等待 |
| 176 | for the perfect moment to act? | 在完美的时刻行动? |
| 177 | I think action is irrefutable evidence sometimes, | 我觉得行动有时是无可辩驳的证据 |
| 178 | and it can be incredibly painful to be reminded | 被唤醒会很痛苦 |
| 179 | that you were not ready for the thing | 你还没准备好 |
| 180 | that you prepared yourself for. | 你准备好自己。 |
| 181 | It can reinforce the idea that perhaps I'm not worthy | 这可以强化一个想法 也许我不值得 |
| 182 | of this thing or perhaps this is something | 这件事情,也许这是什么 |
| 183 | that I'm incapable of maintaining. | 我无法维持 |
| 184 | Like if I acted and I failed or if it didn't work out, | 就像我演戏失败或者失败一样 |
| 185 | that's right, then it reinforces that I wasn't capable of it. | 没错,它强化了 我没有能力做到这一点。 |
| 186 | Absolutely, negativity bias can kick in. | 当然,消极倾向可以被激起。 |
| 187 | And if it reinforces that, | 如果它强化了这一点, |
| 188 | it's not just the failure that happened, | 不仅仅是失败的发生, |
| 189 | it's the fact that the failure attaches a narrative | 失败是附加了叙事 |
| 190 | onto how you think about yourself. | 看你如何思考自己。 |
| 191 | And the failure goes from being experiential | 失败来自经验 |
| 192 | to a part of your identity. | 让你的一部分身份。 |
| 193 | So break it down, what is the difference | 拆开它,有什么区别 |
| 194 | between being a failure experientially | 在体验失败之间 |
| 195 | versus being a failure as someone | 与失败相比 |
| 196 | as who you are in your identity? | 你的身份是谁? |
| 197 | Oh, that's a good question. | 哦,这是一个很好的问题。 |
| 198 | So a failure experientially is something that happened. | 因此,一个失败经验就是发生了。 |
| 199 | Failure is an occurrence. | 失败是一件事情。 |
| 200 | It's an artifact of trying and maybe not meeting the mark. | 这是一次尝试,也许没有达到目标。 |
| 201 | It happens. | 它发生。 |
| 202 | A failure, if you have that as something | 失败,如果你有这样的东西 |
| 203 | that's central to your identity, it's not what you do, | 这是你身份的核心, 这不是你做什么, |
| 204 | it's not what you've performed, it's who you are. | 这不是你所表现的 而是你是谁 |
| 205 | You can change what you do. | 你可以改变你的工作 |
| 206 | It's very hard to change who you are. | 这很难改变你是谁。 |
| 207 | And the thing is, if you have that belief, | 问题是,如果你有这种信念, |
| 208 | beliefs are terrifying | 信仰是令人恐惧的 |
| 209 | because the belief doesn't have to be true | 因为信仰不一定是真的 |
| 210 | and you can hold onto a belief with, | 你可以坚持一个信念, |
| 211 | I mean, irrefutable evidence right there in your palm | 我的意思是,无可辩驳的证据 就在你的手掌上 |
| 212 | and you'll still hold onto it. | 你还是会坚持下去的 |
| 213 | And you can not be a failure | 你不可能失败 |
| 214 | and you can have so many wins and successes, | 你可以有这么多的胜利和成功, |
| 215 | but you won't internalize that reality | 但你不会内化现实 |
| 216 | because you spent so much time believing it. | 因为你花了这么多时间相信它。 |
| 217 | Yeah, because you believe you're a failure | 是的,因为你相信你是个失败者 |
| 218 | or you believe you're not a failure, right? | 或者你相信你不是一个失败者,对不对? |
| 219 | It's like, so how important is how we view our own identity | 我们如何看待自己的身份有多重要? |
| 220 | towards our level of joy, success and fulfillment | 我们的快乐、成功和成就 |
| 221 | versus being a failure and being miserable? | 而不是失败和痛苦? |
| 222 | I think it's critically important | 我觉得这很重要 |
| 223 | because who you are is something that lives with you. | 因为你是跟你生活在一起的人 |
| 224 | Not just when you're sitting on a podcast | 不只是当你坐在播客 |
| 225 | that has an audience of millions. | 观众数以百万计 |
| 226 | Who you are is something that is obvious to you | 你是谁,你很清楚 |
| 227 | in your quiet moments when you're alone, | 在你孤独的平静时刻 |
| 228 | you're watching TV, when you're home with a book, | 你在看电视, 当你回家拿书, |
| 229 | when you're in the shower with your thoughts. | 当你在洗澡的时候,你的想法。 |
| 230 | It means nobody around to judge or evaluate, it's just you. | 意思是周围没人能判断或评价 只有你 |
| 231 | And your own eternal messaging, | 还有你永恒的讯息 |
| 232 | that negative eternal messaging | 那个负面的永恒的信息 |
| 233 | can be one of the most difficult things to contend with | 可能是最难对付的事情之一 |
| 234 | because it's always with you, it's almost unavoidable | 因为它总是和你在一起, 这是几乎不可避免的 |
| 235 | and there's not always a voice in your head. | 你脑子里并不总是有声音 |
| 236 | It's not always words that you hear inside your mind. | 并非总能听到心中的言语. |
| 237 | Sometimes it's an impulse. | 有时是冲动. |
| 238 | Sometimes it's just a flash. | 有时只是一闪. |
| 239 | Sometimes I talk about this in the book. | 有时候我在书里会说这个 |
| 240 | Sometimes it's just an inkling that you have | 有时候你只是墨水 |
| 241 | or it could just be something that's reminiscent | 也可能只是让人想起 |
| 242 | of what you've heard before. | 你以前听过的 |
| 243 | Maybe it sounds like a teacher scolding a child, | 也许这听起来像一个老师骂一个孩子, |
| 244 | scolding a student or a friend who's profoundly disappointed | 骂一个学生或朋友 谁深深失望 |
| 245 | with someone that they love. | 和他们爱的人在一起 |
| 246 | But it's you talking to you. | 但这是你和你说话。 |
| 247 | It's when people come into therapy, | 当人们进入治疗, |
| 248 | that's one of the things we try to unravel, Louis. | 路易,这是我们试图破解的其中一件事 |
| 249 | Where that voice comes from, | 那个声音来自哪里? |
| 250 | when is the first time you heard it, | 你什么时候第一次听到这个消息? |
| 251 | what story is it writing about, | 它写什么故事? |
| 252 | not just who you are, who you've been, | 不只是你是谁,你曾经是谁, |
| 253 | not just who you've been, | 不只是你曾经是谁, |
| 254 | but who you have the possibility to be in the future. | 但你将来能成为什么样的人 |
| 255 | That type of internalized failure | 这种内部化的失败 |
| 256 | when it comes to happiness | 当它涉及到幸福 |
| 257 | or when it comes to just positive possibilities | 或者当它只是 积极的可能性 |
| 258 | or time travels. | 或者时间旅行。 |
| 259 | It doesn't just live in the present. | 非唯现世. |
| 260 | How does it time travel? | 时间旅行如何? |
| 261 | Well, it can make you obsess over the past, | 那会让你迷恋过去 |
| 262 | which is time that's already gone. | 时间已经过去。 |
| 263 | Is this the story that we're thinking about? | 这就是我们想的故事吗? |
| 264 | The story that the failure | 失败的故事 |
| 265 | or the story that the negative self messaging | 或负面的自我信息的故事 |
| 266 | attaches to your identity. | 与你的身份有关 |
| 267 | It lives in the past | 它生活在过去 |
| 268 | where you ruminate on something that already happened. | 在那里你追寻 已经发生的事情。 |
| 269 | And you attach a meaning to that story or that event. | 你给那个故事或那个事件带了一个意义。 |
| 270 | That's right. | 没错 |
| 271 | Whether it's true or not true, | 无论是否是真的, |
| 272 | you've made it true based on the belief | 你根据信仰把事情说成是真的 |
| 273 | of the story you've created. | 你创造的故事。 |
| 274 | And so it goes to the past, | 因此,它去过去, |
| 275 | but how does it go to the future? | 但它如何走向未来? |
| 276 | It goes to the future because you begin fortune telling. | 它走向未来,因为你开始说财富。 |
| 277 | You begin trying to guess what's gonna happen next | 你开始猜测接下来会发生什么 |
| 278 | based on a compromised image that you have of yourself. | 以你自己的形象为蓝本 |
| 279 | And it's gonna make you either, | 这会让你同样, |
| 280 | if it's a negative story, | 如果这是一个负面的故事, |
| 281 | it's gonna make you hesitate on things | 这会让你犹豫不决 |
| 282 | that could be opportunities for the future, right? | 这可能是未来的机会,对不对? |
| 283 | Yeah, it'll make you hesitate on things | 是啊,这会让你犹豫不决 |
| 284 | that can be opportunities for the future. | 这将是未来的机会。 |
| 285 | It can make you not really see the full scope | 它能让你不真正看到 整个范围 |
| 286 | of possibilities that are available to you if you act now. | 如果你现在行动,你可能拥有的可能。 |
| 287 | It can convince you, again, to wait, | 它可以说服你,再次,等待, |
| 288 | to wait until things look perfect. | 等到事情看起来完美。 |
| 289 | It could just bring tremendous self-doubt | 它可能只是带来巨大的自我怀疑 |
| 290 | where you focus on what you're not capable of doing, | 在那里,你专注于什么 你没有能力做, |
| 291 | what you're not capable of achieving, | 你无法实现的 |
| 292 | instead of realizing. | 而不是意识到。 |
| 293 | It doesn't allow you to ask what if. | 它不允许你问,如果。 |
| 294 | I was talking to you before the show. | 我在演出前跟你说话 |
| 295 | I told you I grew up in a really, | 我告诉过你,我长大在一个真正的, |
| 296 | really rough neighborhood in D.C. | 华府的街区很粗糙 |
| 297 | And I never, ever thought that I would live | 我从来没有想过我会活着 |
| 298 | to see 21 years old. | 21岁 |
| 299 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 300 | No, never thought it, never thought it. | 不,从来没有想过,从来没有想过。 |
| 301 | I'm 40 now. | 我四十岁了 |
| 302 | We made it. | 我们成功了 |
| 303 | I made it. | 我来了 |
| 304 | And now my mind has to catch up to the idea of that. | 而现在,我必须 赶上的想法。 |
| 305 | Because I spent so much time thinking that, | 因为我花了很多时间想, |
| 306 | oh, I'll never see 21, I'll never see 25. | 哦,我永远不会看到21,我永远不会看到25。 |
| 307 | I never, ever thought about the possibility. | 我从来没有想过这种可能性 |
| 308 | What if I live longer? | 如果我活得更久怎么办? |
| 309 | What if I do see 40? | 如果我看见40呢? |
| 310 | What if I do see 50? | 如果我看到50块呢? |
| 311 | What if I do see 60? | 如果我看到60块呢? |
| 312 | The possibility, the positive possibility of what if | 可能性,如果 |
| 313 | just doesn't materialize in your mind the same way. | 只是你脑海中并不一样 |
| 314 | Do you ever feel guilty that you made it out | 你是否曾经觉得内疚 你做到了 |
| 315 | and so many people you grew up with didn't? | 和你一起长大的那么多人,没有吗? |
| 316 | All the time. | 一切时. |
| 317 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 318 | Survivors guilt is a real thing. | 幸存者的内疚是真实的 |
| 319 | But how does that feel and how does that impact you? | 感觉如何? 对你有什么影响? |
| 320 | Are you there positing me? | 你在暗示我吗? |
| 321 | Is that what we're doing right now? | 我们现在就这么做吗? |
| 322 | You asked me to be curious. | 你让我好奇的 |
| 323 | How does it make you, | 如何让你, |
| 324 | how do you feel like it impacts your ability | 你觉得它如何影响你的能力 |
| 325 | to have more joy, peace, hope and abundance | 拥有更多的快乐、和平、希望和丰富 |
| 326 | versus the opposite? | 相反? |
| 327 | It gives me gratitude. | 这让我感激不尽 |
| 328 | It makes me feel the exceptionality of my reality. | 这让我感到我现实的非凡之处。 |
| 329 | It makes me understand how impermanent things are. | 这让我明白 事情是多么永恒。 |
| 330 | So I grasp on and I hold them a little tighter. | 所以,我抓住了,我抓住了它们。 |
| 331 | Not hold onto them tight | 不要紧紧的抓住他们 |
| 332 | as if I'm hanging off the edge of a cliff, | 就像我挂在悬崖边 |
| 333 | but hold them securely as if I'm holding a newborn baby. | 但安全地抱住他们 就像我抱着一个新生婴儿一样 |
| 334 | It makes me feel very lucky. | 这让我感到非常幸运。 |
| 335 | It makes me realize that the work that I do | 这让我意识到,我的工作 |
| 336 | isn't just laborious. | 不只是劳累。 |
| 337 | It's something that I get to do. | 这是一件我要做的事。 |
| 338 | It's something I get to connect with people. | 这是我和人们联系的 |
| 339 | I get to change people's minds. | 我可以改变人们的想法。 |
| 340 | I get to use my skills and abilities | 我可以用我的技能和能力 |
| 341 | to develop possibilities with their folks. | 和他们的家人一起发展可能性 |
| 342 | Even my daughters, I have two daughters. | 连我女儿,我还有两个女儿 |
| 343 | I have a nine-year-old and a four-year-old. | 我有九岁四岁. |
| 344 | And kids, man, they're not good at giving you receipts | 还有孩子们 他们不擅长给你收据 |
| 345 | that you're a good parent sometimes. | 有时候你是个好父母 |
| 346 | You know, they act up, | 你知道,他们的行为, |
| 347 | they go against the things that you taught them. | 他们反对你教他们的东西 |
| 348 | But when I see the kindness, | 但当我看到善良 |
| 349 | when I see where they live and how safe they feel | 当我看到他们住在哪里 和他们的感受如何安全 |
| 350 | and how different that is | 以及这有多不同 |
| 351 | than the reality I experienced growing up, | 而不是我从小经历的现实 |
| 352 | it brings everything home. | 它带回了一切 |
| 353 | That's cool. | 这很酷。 |
| 354 | Yeah, it gives me empathy for other people too, man. | 是啊,这让我同情别人了,伙计。 |
| 355 | It gives me a lot of empathy for folks. | 这给了我很多同情 |
| 356 | There are so many kids from my neighborhood | 我家附近有这么多孩子 |
| 357 | that probably could have been mathematicians or accountants | 可能是数学家或会计 |
| 358 | or they could have had tremendous futures | 或者他们可能有巨大的未来 |
| 359 | if their circumstances were different. | 如果他们的情况不同的话 |
| 360 | If their environment was different | 如果他们的环境不同 |
| 361 | or situation in their homes or what? | 还是家里的情况? |
| 362 | Everything. | 一切众生. |
| 363 | I think the environment shapes a lot. | 我认为环境塑造了很多。 |
| 364 | You take a perfectly healthy goldfish, | 你拿一个完全健康的金鱼, |
| 365 | put them in a dirty tank. | 把它们放进脏罐里 |
| 366 | Won't be a perfectly healthy goldfish for long, right? | 不会是一个完全健康的金鱼 长久,对不对? |
| 367 | So that environment dictates a lot. | 所以环境决定了很多。 |
| 368 | Something you've talked about in the book is | 你在书上说过 |
| 369 | it argues that real obstacles | 它争辩说,真正的障碍是: |
| 370 | isn't your environment or your past. | 不是你的环境或你的过去。 |
| 371 | It's a blindness to the truth about yourself. | 谓自性真言无明. |
| 372 | So what's the number one truth most people are avoiding then? | 那么,什么是头号真相 大多数人在避免呢? |
| 373 | The number one truth most people are avoiding? | 大多数人都回避的第一真理? |
| 374 | Well, in the book, I talk about uncomfortable truth. | 好吧,在书里,我谈论 不舒服的真理。 |
| 375 | I don't know if there's a number one truth | 我不知道有没有头号真相 |
| 376 | because people come with a myriad | 因为人们带着无数的 |
| 377 | of different lived experiences. | 不同的经验。 |
| 378 | I tell you the uncomfortable truths | 我告诉你一些不舒服的事实 |
| 379 | that I encounter in therapy a lot. | 我经常在治疗中遇到的 |
| 380 | One of them is I can't change. | 其中之一是我不能改变。 |
| 381 | People say that to you? | 大家都这么说? |
| 382 | I can't change. | 我不能改变。 |
| 383 | It's too late for me to change. | 我改变已经太晚了 |
| 384 | I've been doing this my whole life. | 我一辈子都在做这个 |
| 385 | I can't change now. | 我现在不能改变。 |
| 386 | So well, define change. | 那么,定义改变。 |
| 387 | And oftentimes we see change as this massive event | 我们经常看到改变 成为这个巨大的事件 |
| 388 | that is earth shattering and life shifting. | 大地破裂,生命在变迁。 |
| 389 | We don't see it as tiny adjustments. | 我们不认为这是微小的调整。 |
| 390 | And our work together is typically helping you understand | 我们一起工作 通常帮助你理解 |
| 391 | how much little shifts matter. | 多少小转变很重要。 |
| 392 | Even if the evidence isn't necessarily there, | 即使证据不一定存在 |
| 393 | social media does a good job of making things very grand. | 社会媒体做得很好, |
| 394 | The gestures are grand, the sentiments are grand, | 手势很好,感情很好 |
| 395 | the introspection is grand. | 内观是大. |
| 396 | And I think if students are thinking little changes, | 我想如果学生们想着一些小改变 |
| 397 | what's the first thing you do | 你做的第一件事是什麽? |
| 398 | in the first 10, 15 minutes of waking up? | 在醒来的头10,15分钟? |
| 399 | Are you action-oriented or are you awareness-oriented? | 你是面向行动还是面向意识? |
| 400 | One of the things that I offer up to clients | 我向客户提供的东西之一 |
| 401 | is just to sit on the side of your bed and notice things. | 就是坐在床边 注意事情 |
| 402 | What do you notice? | 你注意到什么了吗? |
| 403 | What do you feel? | 你感觉如何? |
| 404 | Are you experiencing your body fully? | 你身体有问题吗? |
| 405 | Can you feel the softness of the cushion under you? | 你能感觉到你下面的软垫吗? |
| 406 | Can you feel the insole inside your shoe | 你能感觉到你鞋里的独处 |
| 407 | and how melancholy it is? | 它是多么忧郁? |
| 408 | Can you feel your fingertips? | 你能感觉到你的指尖吗? |
| 409 | Are you sitting in silence? | 你静静地坐着吗? |
| 410 | Is the silence force? | 沉默的力量吗? |
| 411 | How much silence do you have | ♪ 你有多少沉默♪ |
| 412 | until you have to jump into your day? | 直到你进入你的时代? |
| 413 | When you jump into your day, what are you jumping into? | 当你跳进你的一天, 你跳进什么? |
| 414 | Is it work? | 有用吗? |
| 415 | Is it family? | 是家人吗? |
| 416 | How tight is your schedule? | 你的行程有多紧? |
| 417 | These things we do, we're just on autopilot | 我们做的这些事情,我们只是自动驾驶 |
| 418 | and we're managing them as they come | 我们管理着他们,他们来了 |
| 419 | and we don't really get a chance to respond. | 我们没有机会回应 |
| 420 | We're just reacting the entire time. | 我们只是反应 整个时间。 |
| 421 | Just a few days ago, I was sitting in a cafe | 几天前,我坐在咖啡馆里 |
| 422 | and I was eating. | 我在吃饭 |
| 423 | I was eating a salad. | 我当时在吃沙拉 |
| 424 | And Louis, I was eating a salad like Garfield the cat. | 路易斯,我吃沙拉 像猫加菲尔德。 |
| 425 | I eat a shell's food in his mouth, he barely chews. | 我在他嘴里吃一个贝壳的食物 他几乎不嚼 |
| 426 | And I had to remind myself, | 我必须提醒自己, |
| 427 | hey, what you doing, Marisol? | 嘿,你在做什么,马里索尔? |
| 428 | What are you rushing for? | 你急着干什么? |
| 429 | Yeah, what are you rushing for? | 对,你急什么? |
| 430 | Where is he going? | 他去哪了? 他现在在哪? |
| 431 | I'm walking down the street and I'm just going | 我走在街上,我就这样走 |
| 432 | and I'm rushing to go somewhere | 我赶时间去别的地方 |
| 433 | that doesn't have a timetable on it. | 上面没有时间表 |
| 434 | Hey man, where you going? | 嘿,伙计,你要去哪里? |
| 435 | Look, just notice the tree right there | 你看,只要注意那边的树 |
| 436 | with the flowers on it. | 上面还有花 |
| 437 | What color are the flowers? | 花是什么颜色的? |
| 438 | Can you sit there and just look at it, | 你能坐在那里看看吗, |
| 439 | not judge it, not evaluate it, | 不判断它,不评价它, |
| 440 | but just notice it for two or three minutes? | 但要注意两三分钟? |
| 441 | There was a point in my life | 我生命中有一点 |
| 442 | where I felt like I couldn't change. | 我觉得我无法改变 |
| 443 | I feel like I had to be on goal. | 我觉得我必须进球 |
| 444 | Everything has to be an accomplishment | 一切必须是一个成就 |
| 445 | or everything has to be building. | 或一切必须建造。 |
| 446 | I have to continue to grow. | 我必须继续成长。 |
| 447 | Like no, sometimes the name of the game is just sustaining. | 像没有,有时游戏的名称只是维持. |
| 448 | The name of the game is just surviving. | 游戏名称只是生存而已. |
| 449 | The name of the game is just noticing | 游戏名称只是注意 |
| 450 | the environment that's around you. | 你周围的环境 |
| 451 | Yeah, yeah. | 对 对 |
| 452 | In the book, I saw that you're pushing back on a culture | 在书里,我看到你在推动一种文化 |
| 453 | or it looks like and it feels like | 或者它看起来像,它感觉像 |
| 454 | a lot of people blame their challenges | 很多人都怪他们的挑战 |
| 455 | on their circumstances, right? | 他们的情况,对不对? |
| 456 | A lot of people blame their challenges | 很多人都怪他们的挑战 |
| 457 | on their circumstances. | 他们的情况。 |
| 458 | But what you made, what you talk about a lot is around, | 但你做的,你说的很多,都是周围, |
| 459 | you know, the problem is not always your circumstances, | 你知道,问题不总是你的情况, |
| 460 | it's more how you show up in the circumstances. | 在这样的情况下你才会出现 |
| 461 | I believe that's part of what the things you're talking about. | 我认为这是你所说的事情的一部分。 |
| 462 | Why do you think so many people | 为什么你认为这么多人 |
| 463 | like to be a victim in their lives | 喜欢在生活中成为受害者 |
| 464 | and really think that it's everything else around them | 并且真的认为这是 周围的一切 |
| 465 | is why they're in their current situation? | 他们为什么处于目前状况? |
| 466 | You know, I don't think I will phrase it like that. | 你知道,我不认为我会这样说。 |
| 467 | I don't think I will phrase it as why they like | 我想我不会说为什么他们喜欢 |
| 468 | to be a victim in their lives. | 成为他们生活中的牺牲品 |
| 469 | Or where they choose to be a victim | 或者他们选择成为受害者的地方 |
| 470 | or say they're a victim or... | 或者说他们是受害者或者... |
| 471 | Yeah, I would say sometimes the idea of self-victimization | 是的,我有时会说 自我伤害的想法 |
| 472 | is the most salient and grabbable thought to them. | 对他们来说是最突出和最能抓住的思维。 |
| 473 | It's because it's very, | 因为它是非常, |
| 474 | when someone else does something to you, | 当别人对你做了什么 |
| 475 | I think it's more obvious to the brain what happened. | 我觉得大脑更清楚发生了什么 |
| 476 | It's not your fault. | 这不是你的错。 |
| 477 | Yeah, it allows you to step back and take yourself. | 是啊,它允许你退后 并自己。 |
| 478 | It allows you to exonerate yourself from any wrongdoing. | 它允许你免除任何错误 |
| 479 | It allows you to, you know, in the book, | 它允许你,你知道, 在书中, |
| 480 | I talk about fault versus responsibility, | 我说的是过失与责任 |
| 481 | blaming versus accountability, | 责备与问责, |
| 482 | how accountability says, hey, this right here is mine. | 问责制怎么说,嘿,这里是我的。 |
| 483 | This is mine right here. | 这是我的 |
| 484 | I did it, I contributed to it. | 我做到了,我为此做出了贡献。 |
| 485 | It's not my fault all the way, | 这完全不是我的错, |
| 486 | but it doesn't matter | 但没关系 |
| 487 | because now it's my responsibility to handle | 因为现在我有责任处理 |
| 488 | and this is how I'm gonna do it. | 这就是我要做到这一点。 |
| 489 | I'm gonna process everything that happened around me. | 我会处理我身边发生的一切 |
| 490 | I'm gonna allow my feelings to exist | 我会允许我的感情存在 |
| 491 | somewhere outside my head and this is mine. | 在我的脑后,这是我的。 |
| 492 | Blame doesn't do that. | 责其不为. |
| 493 | Blame is a heat-seeking missile | 怪罪是寻热导弹 |
| 494 | and it just needs to hit something. | 它只是需要打的东西。 |
| 495 | And I think that the blame allows you to offload | 我认为,责任 让你卸载 |
| 496 | a great deal or as you characterized it, | 大量的,或者当你描述它, |
| 497 | the victimization, it allows you to offload | 伤害,它允许你卸载 |
| 498 | a great deal of the responsibility | 责任重大 |
| 499 | on to an event that's outside of yourself, | 参加一个你以外的活动 |
| 500 | but don't get that confused with not acknowledging | 但别把不承认弄糊涂 |
| 501 | the fact that you've been victimized. | 你成为受害者的事实 |
| 502 | There's a difference. | 有分别. |
| 503 | There's a difference between acknowledging | 承认是有区别的 |
| 504 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你发生了一件坏事 | |
| 505 | that was completely out of your control. | 这完全超出了你的控制。 |
| 506 | I think that's incredibly healthy | 我觉得这很健康 |
| 507 | versus holding victimization | 与持有伤害行为相对比 |
| 508 | essential to your identity again, | 对你的身份又至关重要 |
| 509 | where it's the launch point | 发射点在哪里 |
| 510 | by which a lot of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. | 以此来表达你的许多思想、感情和行为。 |
| 511 | So what's the difference between acknowledging | 所以承认有什么区别 |
| 512 | that you have been victimized versus acknowledging | 你曾经是受害者, |
| 513 | that you are still a victim long after the event happened? | 事发后你还是受害者吗? |
| 514 | Gotta be careful with that | 一定要小心点 |
| 515 | because it depends on what we're talking about. | 因为这取决于我们在谈论什么。 |
| 516 | Let's just say it's something like, | 这么说吧 |
| 517 | let's give a specific example. | 举个具体例子 |
| 518 | And more so using it as like the reason | 更像是用它来解释 |
| 519 | why you're not able to do something. | 你为何不能做点什么? |
| 520 | The reason why I don't go into a relationship | 我之所以不谈恋爱 |
| 521 | is because I got cheated on | 因为我被骗了 |
| 522 | and I'm never gonna trust anyone again. | 我再也不会相信任何人了 |
| 523 | The reason why I'm not gonna go apply for the job | 我不去申请工作的原因 |
| 524 | is because I got fired and wrongfully fired. | 是因为我被炒鱿鱼和被误炒 |
| 525 | So I'm never gonna do that again | 所以我再也不会这样了 |
| 526 | or whatever it might be, | 或无论它是什么, |
| 527 | something where it's like, I was victimized, | 某事,它喜欢, 我受害, |
| 528 | something happened that shouldn't have happened, | 发生了一些不该发生的事 |
| 529 | whether it's true or not, | 不管这是不是真的, |
| 530 | like let's just say it shouldn't have happened. | 就像我们只是说 它不应该发生。 |
| 531 | And then I hold onto that identity | 然后,我掌握着这个身份 |
| 532 | and it holds me back from taking responsibilities | 这让我无法承担责任 |
| 533 | to go create what I want. | 去创造我想要的。 |
| 534 | I like that contextualization. | 我喜欢这种背景化 |
| 535 | So I think the difference there | 所以我觉得那里有区别 |
| 536 | is if you sit in that framing of it, | 就是如果你坐在那个框架里 |
| 537 | it gives you the opportunity | 让你有机会 |
| 538 | to not have to challenge your longstanding beliefs. | 不必挑战你的长期信仰 |
| 539 | We do not like challenging our beliefs. | 我们不喜欢挑战我们的信仰。 |
| 540 | There's just a very, it's like a warm blanket. | 只有一个非常, 它就像一个温暖的毯子。 |
| 541 | It's comfortable, it's predictable. | 舒适,可预见. |
| 542 | You know the ins and outs of it. | 知其内阴. |
| 543 | And again, you don't have to take fault in it. | 再说一次,你不必犯错 |
| 544 | You can completely offload that and say, | 你可以完全卸载 并说, |
| 545 | that's the whole point, you did that. | 这就是重点,你做到了。 |
| 546 | I had nothing to do with it. | 我和这事无关 |
| 547 | But even if it keeps you from financial freedom | 但即使这让你无法享受经济自由 |
| 548 | and love and abundance and health, | 爱、富足、健康, |
| 549 | it's a blanket that keeps you in the familiar | 它的毯子让你在熟悉的 |
| 550 | instead of putting yourself out there | 而不是把自己放出来 |
| 551 | and trying something different. | 并尝试不同的东西。 |
| 552 | That's right, because if I put myself out there | 没错,因为如果我把自己放出来 |
| 553 | and I try something different. | 我尝试了不同的东西。 |
| 554 | It's gonna hurt even more. | 会更痛. |
| 555 | I give myself the opportunity to fail | 我给自己一个失败的机会 |
| 556 | and it just reinforces all these negative things | 它只会强化所有这些负面的东西 |
| 557 | that are on the periphery of how I see myself already. | 这已经是我对自己的看法了 |
| 558 | It can be incredibly challenging, | 这可能是令人难以置信的挑战, |
| 559 | especially as a therapist, Louis. | 特别是当心理医生 路易斯 |
| 560 | Can you imagine, you're sitting with someone | 你能想象吗,你在和某人坐在一起 |
| 561 | who is adhering to that perspective of life. | 他们坚持这种人生观。 |
| 562 | And I mean, just right on the other side of that | 我是说,就在另一边 |
| 563 | is greater love, growth and opportunity. | 是更大的爱、增长和机会。 |
| 564 | And as a therapist, we don't tell people, | 作为治疗师 我们不告诉别人 |
| 565 | I don't tell you what to do. | 亦不劝汝. |
| 566 | I can just, I guide you with breadcrumbs | 我可以用面包屑指导你 |
| 567 | and I ask you questions so we can chip away at it. | 我问你一些问题 这样我们就能解决了 |
| 568 | And if I tell you, no, this isn't how it is. | 如果我告诉你,不,不是这样的。 |
| 569 | Let me explain this to you. | 让我解释给你听 |
| 570 | Well, now you're just, I've loaned you my reality. | 好吧,现在你只是, 我借给你我的现实。 |
| 571 | You didn't come to that idea by yourself. | 你不是一个人想到这个想法的 |
| 572 | So once you're not in my facility anymore, | 所以,一旦你不再在我的设施, |
| 573 | you're relegated to whatever tools that you grew yourself. | 你被降级到任何工具 你成长自己。 |
| 574 | You know, it's like you eat what you kill. | 你知道,这就像你吃你杀死的东西。 |
| 575 | Once you don't have my influence anymore, | 一旦你不再有我的影响 |
| 576 | what are you gonna do? | 你要怎么办? |
| 577 | What are you naturally gonna think? | 你自然会怎么想? |
| 578 | How are you naturally gonna come | 你怎么自然来 |
| 579 | to those canoes and challenge yourself? | 和挑战自己? |
| 580 | That's very difficult. | 这很困难。 |
| 581 | And I think the trap is the should've trap. | 我认为陷阱应该是陷阱 |
| 582 | I shouldn't think that way or man, | 我不应该这样想,或男人, |
| 583 | I should be able to look past that by now. | 我现在应该可以看过去 |
| 584 | But should doesn't matter when you can't. | 但当不能时应不思议. |
| 585 | And should is a gigantic t-shirt | 应该是一个巨大的T恤 |
| 586 | that it doesn't fit your body at all. | 完全不适合你的身体。 |
| 587 | Like, yeah, you're still covered. | 喜欢,是啊,你仍然覆盖。 |
| 588 | It does the job of a shirt, I guess, kind of, | 它的工作是衬衫, 我想,那种, |
| 589 | but it does not fit you. | 但这不适合你 |
| 590 | It doesn't fit your expectations. | 这不符合你的期望 |
| 591 | It doesn't fit your lived experience. | 这不符合你的生活经验 |
| 592 | It doesn't fit your bandwidth, nothing. | 它不符合你的带宽,什么都没有。 |
| 593 | You're adhering to what you think | 你坚持你的想法 |
| 594 | should be the existence that lands on you | 应该是你身上的存在 |
| 595 | without really paying attention to where you actually are. | 没有真正注意 你在哪里实际。 |
| 596 | So you don't recruit the help you need. | 所以你不招募你需要的帮助。 |
| 597 | You probably won't accept the help if it's offered to you. | 你可能不会接受帮助 如果它向你提供。 |
| 598 | And it really puts you at a disadvantage | 这真的让你处于劣势 |
| 599 | that it's the antithesis of growth. | 说是成长的反面 |
| 600 | It can be extremely growth prohibitive, man. | 这可能是极度增长 令人望而却步,男人。 |
| 601 | I wanna go back to something we were talking about before, | 我想回到我们之前说过的事 |
| 602 | which around beliefs and self-talk. | 围绕信仰和自我对话。 |
| 603 | From your experience as a therapist, | 从你的治疗师经验来看 |
| 604 | do you believe that people get tied into devices, | 你相信人们被绑在装置里吗? |
| 605 | numbing addictions, | 麻木成瘾, |
| 606 | to escape their own internal thoughts and feelings, | 逃避自己的内部思想和感情, |
| 607 | or to escape the thoughts and feelings | 或逃避思想和感情 |
| 608 | of others around them, on them? | 他们四周的人, |
| 609 | It depends. | 这取决于。 |
| 610 | I think it could be a little bit of both. | 我觉得可能两者都有 |
| 611 | I think it depends on who you are. | 我认为这取决于你是谁。 |
| 612 | Addiction is tricky, | 瘾是棘手的, |
| 613 | and I'm not gonna pretend to understand the ins and outs | 我也不会假装明白 |
| 614 | of the neurochemistry of addiction, | 毒瘾的神经化学家, |
| 615 | because that's not my ministry as a therapist, | 因为那不是我的部作为治疗师, |
| 616 | but we don't like to feel pain and discomfort. | 但我们不喜欢感到痛苦和不适 |
| 617 | And the things that distract us | 还有那些分散我们注意力的东西 |
| 618 | from pain and discomfort give us relief. | 从痛苦和不适 给我们解脱。 |
| 619 | Uh-huh. | 对 |
| 620 | They give us relief. | 他们给了我们解脱。 |
| 621 | Sometimes we get that relief | 有时我们得到解脱 |
| 622 | at the expense of our long-term health and wellness, | 牺牲我们的长期健康和幸福, |
| 623 | and it's attractive. | 这很吸引人 |
| 624 | And even when you talk about devices | 即使你谈论设备 |
| 625 | and phones and social media, | 电话和社交媒体, |
| 626 | there's a other side of that. | 还有另一边 |
| 627 | These things have hacked the brain. | 这些东西侵入了大脑。 |
| 628 | Your phone is, my goodness, | 你的电话是,我的上帝, |
| 629 | a billion dollars worth of technology, | 价值十亿美元的技术, |
| 630 | research, development, and engineering. | 研究、开发和工程。 |
| 631 | Power in your hands. | 权在手中. |
| 632 | Everything is right there. | 一切就在这里。 |
| 633 | Even the way it feels, the device itself, | 即使是感觉,设备本身, |
| 634 | it's the right weight, it's the right smoothness. | 它的重量是正确的, 它的滑动。 |
| 635 | The snacks that we eat, a bag of chips, | 我们吃的零食,一袋薯片, |
| 636 | I don't know who sponsors your pie. | 我不知道谁赞助你的派。 |
| 637 | Salty, sugar, all of it, man. | 盐,糖,全部,伙计。 |
| 638 | But they do so much research to figure out exactly | 但是他们做了很多研究 才能准确了解 |
| 639 | what the perfect amount of crunch is, | 究竟什么是绝妙的? |
| 640 | or the perfect shape of the snack | 或完美的小吃形状 |
| 641 | so that it feels just right in your fingers, | 这样感觉就在你的手指里 |
| 642 | or the perfect saltiness where, | 或纯净的咸水, |
| 643 | I mean, I don't know about you, | 我的意思是,我不知道关于你, |
| 644 | I've definitely had snacks where I take one bite | 我确实吃过点心 吃过一口 |
| 645 | and I say, oh, that's the last one I want to have, | 我说,哦,那是我最后想要的, |
| 646 | and I blink and the bag is gone. | 我眨眼就不见了 |
| 647 | Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | 哦,对,对,对。 |
| 648 | Yeah, that's not just by happenstance. | 是啊,这不仅仅是偶然的。 |
| 649 | It's developed that way. | 如此发展. |
| 650 | So while we're thinking about these things | 所以当我们考虑这些事情的时候 |
| 651 | that we gravitate towards, | 以便我们遵循正道, |
| 652 | I think it's important to remember that they were developed | 我认为重要的是要记住,它们是发展的 |
| 653 | to keep us engaged with them. | 保持我们与他们接触。 |
| 654 | It doesn't exonerate you from the responsibility | 这不能免除你的责任 |
| 655 | of detaching from it, | 与那座乐园绝交, |
| 656 | but it just proves how difficult of a job | 但它只是证明工作有多难 |
| 657 | it'll be to separate yourself from these things. | 将自己和这些东西分开 |
| 658 | If you were sitting across from yourself | 如果你坐在你对面 |
| 659 | as a therapist to yourself, | 作为你自己的治疗师, |
| 660 | what's the one piece of advice | 有什么建议? |
| 661 | that you would give you today | 今天你会给你的 |
| 662 | with all the tools and knowledge that you have | 拥有所有工具和知识 |
| 663 | to support you in your personal growth | 帮助你成长 |
| 664 | in achieving a better level of health, | 在提高健康水平方面, |
| 665 | peace, abundance, freedom internally? | 和平、丰富、内部自由? |
| 666 | What's the coaching you would give you? | 你会给你什么指导? |
| 667 | I think I'm gonna ask myself a question. | 我想我会问自己一个问题 |
| 668 | What's the question? | 问甚么. |
| 669 | I ask myself two questions. | 我问自己两个问题。 |
| 670 | How much is enough and what does satisfaction look like? | 足够多少 满足是什么样子? |
| 671 | How much is enough? | 多少钱够吗? |
| 672 | I'll tell you when I get there. | 我到时告诉你 |
| 673 | What if you never get there? | 如果你永远到不了那里呢? |
| 674 | I know, well, honestly. | 老实说,我知道 |
| 675 | That's the scary thing, right? | 这是可怕的事情,对不对? |
| 676 | It can be. | 亦可说也. |
| 677 | I'll tell you, Louis, real talk, man, | 我告诉你,路易斯,真正的谈话,男人, |
| 678 | if nothing ever happens, | 如果什么都没有发生, |
| 679 | if my career never advances past where I am now, | 如果我的事业从未超越现在的我 |
| 680 | would you be satisfied? | 你会满意吗? |
| 681 | Absolutely, absolutely. | 当然,绝对的。 |
| 682 | Would it be enough? | 够吗? |
| 683 | Absolutely, absolutely. | 当然,绝对的。 |
| 684 | Then why do you need to ask yourself those questions? | 那你为什么要问自己这些问题? |
| 685 | Because it still challenges what I believe. | 因为它仍然挑战 我相信的东西。 |
| 686 | I think that self-interrogation is a powerful tool. | 我认为自我审讯是一个强大的工具。 |
| 687 | I wrote this book on the premise of self-interrogation, | 我写这本书的前提 自我审讯, |
| 688 | interrogating your immediate thoughts and beliefs | 审讯你眼前的思想和信仰 |
| 689 | away from shame, blame, and guilt. | 远离羞耻、责备和内疚 |
| 690 | And even though I feel that way in my heart, | 虽然我心里有这种感觉 |
| 691 | anything that makes me reevaluate my philosophy | 任何让我重新评价我哲学的东西 |
| 692 | I think can be helpful. | 我认为可以有所帮助。 |
| 693 | Because perhaps with deeper thought, | 因为也许用更深的思考 |
| 694 | I realize that this isn't enough. | 我知道这还不够 |
| 695 | Or growth, growth, it goes hand to hand with impermanence. | 或者增长,增长, 它与不持久性并肩而行。 |
| 696 | I may feel this way right now today | 今天我也许有这种感觉 |
| 697 | as I'm sitting in front of you. | 就像我坐在你面前一样 |
| 698 | I may not feel this way in three years. | 我三年来可能没有这种感觉。 |
| 699 | I may have a completely different mindset. | 我可能有完全不同的心态 |
| 700 | So I don't think it's just, | 所以我不认为它只是, |
| 701 | I would ask myself that question. | 我会问自己这个问题。 |
| 702 | I would continue to ask myself that question periodically. | 我将继续定期问自己这个问题。 |
| 703 | Check in with yourself. | 自己去登记一下 |
| 704 | It's one of the things I like about journaling. | 我最喜欢的就是这个 |
| 705 | When we think about journaling, | 当我们考虑 期刊, |
| 706 | we think about just being able to express ourselves | 我们想着能够表达自己 |
| 707 | or dump all of our thoughts in one place. | 或者把我们所有的想法丢在一个地方 |
| 708 | But journaling does more than that. | 但日记不止如此。 |
| 709 | Journaling gives you a concrete place to be reflective. | 日记给你一个可以反射的具体位置 |
| 710 | And what I mean by that is, | 我的意思是,这是, |
| 711 | if you were to write 15 years ago, | 如果你在15年前写 |
| 712 | all the things that you're most worried about, | 你最担心的一切 |
| 713 | all the things that you're most excited about, | 所有你最兴奋的事情, |
| 714 | what your immediate apprehensions are in the moment, | 你们眼下所担心的事, |
| 715 | and then you would look at it 10 years later, | 10年后你再看这个 |
| 716 | you would be able to see the things | 你会看到的东西 |
| 717 | that are completely different. | 这完全不同。 |
| 718 | Some of those things might be minuscule comparatively, | 有些东西相对来说可能是微小的, |
| 719 | but you might also realize that you've been worried | 但你可能也知道 你一直担心 |
| 720 | about the same thing for 10 years | 10年来都一样 |
| 721 | just in a different font. | 换个字体 |
| 722 | Now imagine instead of just journaling once | 现在想象一下 而不是只做一次日记 |
| 723 | over that 10 year span, | 在这10年的时间里, |
| 724 | you have journal entries incrementally every month | 您每月有递增的日记条目 |
| 725 | and you're able to see the changes and the differences. | 你可以看到变化和差异 |
| 726 | That type of tracking is invaluable. | 这种追踪方式是宝贵的。 |
| 727 | And that's what I would hope I'd be able to give myself | 这也是我希望我能给自己 |
| 728 | if I was sitting across the room. | 如果我坐在对面的房间。 |
| 729 | Just checking in on the philosophy, man. | 只是检查一下哲学 |
| 730 | How has it changed? | 如何变化. |
| 731 | How is it different? | 有什么不同吗? |
| 732 | Where's your heart? | 你的心脏呢? |
| 733 | Where's your head? | 你的头呢? |
| 734 | What are you excited about? | 你兴奋什么? |
| 735 | What do you love? | 你爱什么? |
| 736 | What motivates you? | 什么激励你? |
| 737 | If you could give your 15 year old self three tools | 如果你能给你15岁的自己三个工具 |
| 738 | that you've learned as a therapist and only three tools, | 作为治疗师你学到了 只有三个工具 |
| 739 | what would you give 15 year old you | 你会给15岁的孩子什么? |
| 740 | when you were going through a very challenging time | 当你经历一个非常艰难的时期 |
| 741 | and all the friends around you were getting in trouble | 你周围的朋友都惹上麻烦了 |
| 742 | or going to jail or passing away in a rough neighborhood? | 或进监狱 或去世 在粗糙的街区? |
| 743 | What would those three things you would say? | 你会说什么? |
| 744 | I think those three things, | 我觉得这三件事 |
| 745 | I think one would be being different as a gift. | 我认为一个人会 不同作为一个礼物。 |
| 746 | I think Gen Z, they're really comfortable | 我觉得Gen Z 他们真的很舒服 |
| 747 | with being different. | 与不同。 |
| 748 | We were different. | 我们是不同的。 |
| 749 | 碞钩ぃ妓 碞钩琌 indictment | |
| 750 | on your ability to gain community | 获得社区的能力 |
| 751 | and your ability to fit in back in my day, you know? | 和你的能力 适应回到我的时代,你知道吗? |
| 752 | Being different is a gift, lean into it. | 与众不同是一种天赋,靠在其中。 |
| 753 | I would tell myself that anger, | 我会告诉自己那种愤怒, |
| 754 | it captivates all of your awareness, | 它吸引了你们所有的觉悟, |
| 755 | but it's a terrible motivator. | 但它是一个可怕的驱动器。 |
| 756 | And I would tell myself that as long | 我会告诉自己,只要 |
| 757 | as you keep your feet moving, you have a chance. | 当你的脚不停地移动, 你有一个机会。 |
| 758 | Do not stop. | 不要停下来。 |
| 759 | How angry were you and what made you angry? | 你有多生气,什么让你生气? |
| 760 | Looking back, I was tremendously angry. | 回想起来 我非常生气 |
| 761 | I think it was environmental. | 我认为是环保的。 |
| 762 | I think that I lived in an environment | 我想我生活在一个环境里 |
| 763 | where a lot of people were frustrated | 很多人感到沮丧 |
| 764 | because they couldn't ascend to their highest potential | 因为他们无法发挥最大的潜力 |
| 765 | and they took it out on the people around them. | 他们把它拿出来 周围的人。 |
| 766 | And I think when you live in an environment | 我想当你生活在一个环境中 |
| 767 | full of angry people and you're still young | 满是愤怒的人 你还年轻 |
| 768 | and impressionable, it can turn you into an angry person. | 让人印象深刻 会让你变得愤怒 |
| 769 | And I also thought that I deserved a different life | 我也认为我应该过另一种生活 |
| 770 | that I had, you know? | 我有过,你知道吗? |
| 771 | Our apartment, man, it was something. | 我们的公寓,伙计,这是东西。 |
| 772 | We used to have roaches and mice really badly, | 我们曾经有蟑螂和老鼠 非常糟糕, |
| 773 | really badly, and I couldn't understand | 非常糟糕,我无法理解 |
| 774 | why we lived that way. | 为什么我们这样生活。 |
| 775 | We seemed to be good, hardworking people, | 我们似乎是好人 勤奋工作的人 |
| 776 | and we couldn't get out of the muck, | 我们无法走出泥潭, |
| 777 | and I didn't understand why. | 我不明白为什么 |
| 778 | And I think that confusion in the mind of a child | 我觉得孩子心中的困惑 |
| 779 | was converted into frustration and anger. | 变成了沮丧和愤怒 |
| 780 | And that's why when we were talking, | 这就是为什么当我们谈论, |
| 781 | and you asked me if I played a sport, | 你问我是不是在运动 |
| 782 | I was like, yeah, for a little bit, | 我当时想,是的, 一点点, |
| 783 | and then I had to start working in high school. | 然后我不得不开始在高中工作。 |
| 784 | I had to start paying for my own prom. | 我不得不开始支付我自己的舞会。 |
| 785 | I think that the anger and frustration | 我认为愤怒和沮丧 |
| 786 | came from the inability to be a child | 是因为不能成为孩子 |
| 787 | that was allowed to be a child, if that makes any sense. | 如果有道理的话,那就被允许做孩子。 |
| 788 | You didn't feel like you were able to be a kid | 你没有觉得自己可以成为一个孩子 |
| 789 | or have kid experiences. | 或者有孩子的经验。 |
| 790 | Not at a certain point, no. | 不是在某个时候,没有。 |
| 791 | You kind of have to grow up quickly, | 你总得很快长大吧 |
| 792 | assume responsibility. | 承担责任。 |
| 793 | Start working. | 开始工作 |
| 794 | Yeah, start taking control over the life you want. | 是啊,开始控制你想要的生活。 |
| 795 | Man, that's tough. | 男人,这是艰难的。 |
| 796 | Yeah, it is tough. | 是啊,这是艰难的。 |
| 797 | And I used to do this thing where I would say, | 我曾经做这个事情 我会说, |
| 798 | you know, it's tough, but other people had it worse. | 你知道,这是艰难的, 但其他人有它更糟。 |
| 799 | It was tough, period, you know? | 这是艰难的,时间,你知道吗? |
| 800 | Other people have challenges that are tough for them, | 其他人有挑战 他们很难, |
| 801 | and I had my challenges that were tough for me. | 我有我的挑战 对我来说是艰难的。 |
| 802 | That's right, that's right. | 对,对. |
| 803 | And I think that I felt that at some point, | 我觉得在某些时候 我觉得 |
| 804 | when I was past it, it wouldn't affect me. | 当我过去的时候,它不会影响我。 |
| 805 | It still did. | 还没完呢 |
| 806 | Oh yeah, the shadows live long. | 哦,是的,阴影长生不老。 |
| 807 | It just lingered. | 它只是停留。 |
| 808 | Yeah, it lingered. | 是啊,它停留。 |
| 809 | And I've come to the point where I'm fine with that | 我走到了这个地步 我不介意 |
| 810 | because I know it's something that | 因为我知道这是什么 |
| 811 | I'll have to constantly remind myself | 我必须不断提醒自己 |
| 812 | for the rest of my life. | 我的余生。 |
| 813 | It's not a one and done thing. | 这不是一个和完成的事情。 |
| 814 | That's something that I'm going to have to cope with | 那是我必须面对的 |
| 815 | and overcome for the rest of my life. | 并克服我的余生。 |
| 816 | I'm thankful I have the tools, man. | 我很感激我有这些工具 |
| 817 | Otherwise, you'd still be angry. | 否则,你还是会生气 |
| 818 | Otherwise, I'd still be angry. | 否则,我还会生气 |
| 819 | And now I live a life where | 现在我过着 |
| 820 | there's nothing to be angry about. | 没什么好生气的 |
| 821 | I get frustrated sometimes, | 我有时很沮丧 |
| 822 | but I live a wonderful life that I created for myself. | 但我过着自己创造的美好生活 |
| 823 | And anger can be much like victimization. | 愤怒就像受害一样 |
| 824 | There's a comfort in sitting inside the bed. | 禅床内坐有安乐. |
| 825 | It feels good for a while. | 暂时感觉很好 |
| 826 | Oh man. | 哦,伙计。 |
| 827 | Powerful. | 威力无边. |
| 828 | Oh yeah, especially when it's an identity. | 是啊,特别是当它是一个身份。 |
| 829 | You know, working with youth, | 你知道,与青年合作, |
| 830 | when I ran my youth program, | 当我运行我的青年计划, |
| 831 | there were so many young men who didn't feel heard | 有这么多年轻人 感觉没有听到 |
| 832 | in the house that they lived in. | 他们住的房子。 |
| 833 | They didn't feel seen. | 他们没有感觉被看见。 |
| 834 | You know what gets you heard and seen really quickly? | 你知道什么让你听到和看到 非常快? |
| 835 | Destruction. | 毁灭 |
| 836 | Anger. | 愤怒 |
| 837 | If I flip the table over. | 如果我把桌子翻过来。 |
| 838 | Oh yeah. | 对 |
| 839 | Oh, now you hear me, see me, and you feel it. | 哦,现在你听到我,看到我,你感觉到了。 |
| 840 | But it also invites a kind of attention toward you | 但也会引起大家的注意 |
| 841 | that isn't very helpful in nourishing. | 这对养殖没有多大帮助 |
| 842 | How does someone dismantle anger | 一个人如何消除愤怒 |
| 843 | if that's all they've ever known? | 如果他们只知道这些呢? |
| 844 | Mm. | 对 |
| 845 | If they'd never felt heard, seen, loved, or valued, | 如果他们从未感受到 听到,看到,爱,或珍视, |
| 846 | and anger is their response, | 愤怒是他们的行为。 |
| 847 | how did they learn to let that go? | 他们是怎么学会放弃的? |
| 848 | I think one of the ways is getting out of the environment | 我觉得其中一个方法就是走出环境 |
| 849 | that arouses those feelings. | 这激起了那些感觉。 |
| 850 | Getting away from the people, spaces, the environments. | 远离人,空间,环境. |
| 851 | The influences, the culture. | 影响,文化。 |
| 852 | Anger can become a culture. | 愤怒可以成为一种文化. |
| 853 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 854 | Oh yeah, the culture of anger. | 是的,愤怒的文化。 |
| 855 | Some people have families that are very angry. | 有些人的家庭非常愤怒。 |
| 856 | That's the innate response is to respond with anger. | 这就是内在的反应是愤怒的反应. |
| 857 | That's always around you and that's always your influence. | 总是在你身边 也是你的影响力 |
| 858 | It's gonna be hard to take a half step back away from that. | 离那半步远去很难 |
| 859 | I think you have to detach from the things | 我想你必须把事情从事情中分离出来 |
| 860 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}那种感觉是为了看到不同的东西 | |
| 861 | But you said that you grew up pretty angry, right? | 但你说你长大后很生气 对吧? |
| 862 | It had a point in my life I was pretty angry, yeah. | 我人生中有一点很生气 |
| 863 | Is this like teen years or like? | 这像十几岁吗? |
| 864 | Yeah, teen years. | 是啊,十几岁。 |
| 865 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 866 | But you grew up in DC and you're still in DC, correct? | 但你是在华盛顿长大的 你还在华盛顿 对吗? |
| 867 | Well, I'm in a suburb. | 我在郊区 |
| 868 | Okay, so you're not in like, | 好吧,所以你不喜欢, |
| 869 | not as you can still be in the same city, | 不像你还能待在同一个城市里 |
| 870 | but not in the same home or same kind of environment. | 但不是在同一个家庭 或同样的环境。 |
| 871 | You can still move a little farther, not too far away, | 你仍然可以走得更远,不要太远 |
| 872 | and be in a different space. | 在不同的空间。 |
| 873 | Yeah, which to my point, | 是的,在我看来, |
| 874 | the environment's completely different | 环境完全不同 |
| 875 | than the infant voices. | 比婴儿的声音。 |
| 876 | I wake up next to my wife, | 我在我妻子旁边醒来 |
| 877 | who's the happiest person I've ever met in my life. | 我这辈子见过最幸福的人 |
| 878 | So nice, right? | 这么好,对不对? |
| 879 | Every single day I wake up to kids | 每一天我醒来都会看到孩子 |
| 880 | that are excited to see me and they love me. | 看到我很兴奋 他们爱我 |
| 881 | That's a dream. | 作是梦已. |
| 882 | And I'm snuggling with them. | 我和他们在一起 |
| 883 | I got a pimple growing on the side of my head | 我头上长了个小窝 |
| 884 | because their hair oils are all on my face | 因为他们的发油都在我的脸上 |
| 885 | from sleeping on my pillow every night. | 从每天晚上睡在我的枕头上。 |
| 886 | That's nice. | 不错 |
| 887 | Yeah, it's a beautiful life, | 是啊,这是一个美丽的生活, |
| 888 | and it'll be profoundly unfortunate | 这将是非常不幸的 |
| 889 | to have that reality all around me, | 拥有这个现实在我身边, |
| 890 | but not have the awareness to see it | 却不知所措 |
| 891 | and experience it for me. | 帮我体验一下 |
| 892 | When did you feel like you were able | 你什么时候觉得自己可以 |
| 893 | to start letting go of the anger? | 开始放下愤怒? |
| 894 | When I consciously realized that it wasn't helping me. | 当我有意识地意识到那对我毫无帮助时 |
| 895 | It wasn't helpful. | 没用的 |
| 896 | It wasn't doing anything for me. | 它没有为我做任何事情。 |
| 897 | It went from becoming my sword. | 它从成为我的剑。 |
| 898 | It went from being my sword and my shield | 它不再是我的剑和盾牌 |
| 899 | to being my anger. | 成为我的愤怒。 |
| 900 | How old were you around that time when you became aware? | 那时你几岁了? |
| 901 | Early 20s. | 早期20岁. |
| 902 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 903 | Early 20s, I started to move | 20多岁开始搬家 |
| 904 | into like a corporate America type space. | 变成一个美国公司的类型空间。 |
| 905 | And one of the things that happens to people | 还有一件发生在人们身上的事 |
| 906 | and that happened to me is the things that you thought were, | 事情发生在我身上,你认为是, |
| 907 | the things that protected you. | 保护你的东西 |
| 908 | Anger protects you in a tough neighborhood. | 愤怒保护你在一个艰难的街区。 |
| 909 | It keeps you from being a victim. | 让你无法成为受害者 |
| 910 | It keeps you from being bullied. | 让你不被欺负 |
| 911 | But when the behaviors you have | 但当你的行为 |
| 912 | aren't helpful for you anymore, | 对你没有帮助了 |
| 913 | when they're not protective, | 当他们不保护, |
| 914 | when they just become prohibitive, | 当他们变得令人望而却步的时候, |
| 915 | either you can keep leaning into them | 要么你继续靠着他们 |
| 916 | and do more of what's not working, | 并做更多的不起作用的东西, |
| 917 | or you can put your foot in the ground, | 或者把脚放在地上 |
| 918 | pivot and decide to change something. | 选择改变什么 |
| 919 | And the latter took me a solid, | 后者给了我一个坚实的, |
| 920 | I'd say maybe seven or eight years. | 我想也许七八年 |
| 921 | And in those experiences, I went to undergrad. | 在这些经历中,我进入了大学。 |
| 922 | I lived in a different place in the city | 我住在城里另一个地方 |
| 923 | where people were completely different. | 那里的人是完全不同的。 |
| 924 | And I was with young professionals | 我和年轻的专业人士在一起 |
| 925 | and I got to see something different, | 我不得不看到不同的东西, |
| 926 | having different influences. | 影响不同 |
| 927 | I got to see the world. | 我得看看这个世界 |
| 928 | I traveled a little bit more. | 我旅行了一点点。 |
| 929 | I realized how much more of my identity | 我意识到我的身份有多深 |
| 930 | was uncovered outside of just anger and frustration. | 在愤怒和挫折之外被揭穿 |
| 931 | As long as it made me feel something | 只要它让我有感觉 |
| 932 | that I would describe as meaningful at the time, | 我当时会说有意义 |
| 933 | it was easier to hold on to. | 它更容易坚持下去。 |
| 934 | But when it felt like it started holding me back | 但当它感觉它开始 阻止我 |
| 935 | from love and relationships, connection and community, | 从爱和关系,联系和社区, |
| 936 | it became painfully obvious | 它变得痛苦的明显 |
| 937 | there's something needed to change. | 有需要改变的东西。 |
| 938 | Oh yeah, absolutely, man. | 哦,是的,绝对的,男人。 |
| 939 | I didn't know how to change or where to start, | 我不知道如何改变 或者从哪里开始 |
| 940 | but I felt it inside and I felt it deeply. | 但我内心深处感觉到了 |
| 941 | And I saw everything as a constant reminder. | 我将一切视为不断的提醒。 |
| 942 | That this anger does not serve me. | 愤怒不能为我服务 |
| 943 | No, it's not serving me. | 不,它不为我服务。 |
| 944 | And it's destructive. | 亦具破坏力. |
| 945 | Very destructive, right? | 非常破坏性,对不对? |
| 946 | So what was the aha moment | 那么,什么是阿哈的时刻 |
| 947 | that allowed you to start healing | 让你开始康复 |
| 948 | the anger that was inside of you? | 你内心的愤怒? |
| 949 | I think it was a series of moments. | 我认为这是一系列的时刻。 |
| 950 | I'd be lying to you if I said there was just | 如果我说有 |
| 951 | one definitive turning point where something happened | 发生了一些事情的决定性转折点 |
| 952 | and it just dawned on me. | 突然间我意识到 |
| 953 | It happened so gradually | 事情慢慢发生了 |
| 954 | that I can't tell you when it turned on. | 我不能告诉你,当它打开。 |
| 955 | It's like glaucoma. | 如青光泽. |
| 956 | Glaucoma is like one of the leading causes of blindness. | 青光眼就像失明的主要原因之一. |
| 957 | Glaucoma is so tricky because it slowly takes away | 青光眼太狡猾了 因为它慢慢就消失了 |
| 958 | your peripheral vision. | 你的外观。 |
| 959 | But you can still see. | 但你还是可以看到。 |
| 960 | You can still see, but it slowly takes it away | 你仍然可以看到,但它慢慢地带走它 |
| 961 | to the point where you don't realize | 以至于你没有意识到 |
| 962 | that your vision is becoming more and more narrow | 你的视野越来越狭窄 |
| 963 | until one day it's too late. | 直到有一天它为时已晚。 |
| 964 | And in a more positive way, | 以更积极的方式, |
| 965 | that's kind of what happened with the anger. | 愤怒就是这样 |
| 966 | It just dissipated slowly as I gained more | 它只是慢慢消散 随着我得到了更多的 |
| 967 | in different friends, as I found different interests, | 在不同的朋友, 因为我发现不同的利益, |
| 968 | as I started to get academic success, | 当我开始获得学术成功, |
| 969 | as I started to get different types of love in my life | 当我开始得到 不同类型的爱在我的生活中 |
| 970 | and different experiences, | 和不同的经验, |
| 971 | as I started to learn how to receive | 当我开始学会如何接受 |
| 972 | different types of love in my life. | 我生命中不同类型的爱情 |
| 973 | It just slowly dissipated to the point | 慢慢的散开 |
| 974 | where it wasn't there anymore. | 在那里它已经不存在了。 |
| 975 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 976 | Which isn't everybody's experience. | 这不是每个人的经验。 |
| 977 | No, no. | 没有,没有。 |
| 978 | It's not, so I'm very thankful for that as well. | 没有,所以我也很感激 |
| 979 | Was there a, but how did you learn how to let it go? | 曾经有,但你是如何学会 如何让它消失的? |
| 980 | Because for me, I accomplished a lot of my goals | 因为对我来说,我完成了我的许多目标 |
| 981 | and success and made money, | 成功和赚钱, |
| 982 | but I still had anger inside of me. | 但我内心仍然充满愤怒 |
| 983 | And it wasn't until I realized, | 直到我意识到 |
| 984 | oh, this energy, this frustration or anger, | 哦,这种能量, 这种沮丧或愤怒, |
| 985 | accomplishing the goals doesn't remove it from my heart. | 完成目标并不能消除我的内心 |
| 986 | No. | 没有 |
| 987 | Which seems like it would, right? | 看来会这样,对吧? |
| 988 | You're like, oh, I should be happy now, | 你就像,哦,我应该高兴了, |
| 989 | but I still wasn't, I still had anger inside of me. | 但我还是没有 我内心仍然有愤怒 |
| 990 | So it took therapy, workshops, self-awareness, | 因此,它需要治疗,工作坊, 自我意识, |
| 991 | reflection, retreats for me to start learning | 反省一下,让我开始学习 |
| 992 | how to let it go and how to start healing those wounds | 如何放手 如何开始治愈这些伤口 |
| 993 | that anger was tied to, that I was attached to. | 愤怒是捆绑的, 我被附着。 |
| 994 | And so once I started healing some of those wounds | 所以一旦我开始治好一些伤口 |
| 995 | or stories or beliefs around events, | 或围绕事件的故事或信仰, |
| 996 | then I could have more grace for myself, | 那样我就可以为自己多点恩典了 |
| 997 | have more self-love and acceptance | 拥有更多的自我爱和接受 |
| 998 | and start to release some of that frustration, | 并开始释放一些挫折感, |
| 999 | those triggers, right? | 那些触发器,对不对? |
| 1000 | So were there any, did you learn this from anyone? | 你从别人那里学到了吗? |
| 1001 | Did you go to therapy? | 你去治疗了吗? |
| 1002 | Did you have a workshop? | 你有工作室吗? |
| 1003 | Did you read a book? | 你读过书吗? |
| 1004 | Where did you learn the tools to let go of anger and heal? | 你从哪里学的放过愤怒和治愈的工具? |
| 1005 | I think it was the feedback from my environment. | 我认为那是我环境的反馈 |
| 1006 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 1007 | Yeah, it just, things started feeling different for me. | 是啊,只是,事情开始 感觉不同对我来说。 |
| 1008 | And I think it unlocked parts of my identity | 我觉得它解开了我身份的一部分 |
| 1009 | that I liked a lot better. | 我更喜欢这样 |
| 1010 | And there is this indescribable, | 还有一个无法形容的, |
| 1011 | but certainly palpable feeling that you get when you, | 但显然感觉 当你得到, |
| 1012 | I think self-love is packaged and sold in a very weird way, | 我觉得自己爱的包装和销售方式非常奇怪, |
| 1013 | but when you begin to like yourself in a different way, | 但当你开始喜欢自己的方式不同, |
| 1014 | I like who I am when I am not angry. | 我喜欢我不生气的时候我是谁 |
| 1015 | I like how people treat me when I'm not angry. | 我喜欢我不生气时人们怎么对待我 |
| 1016 | I like how I treat myself when I am not angry. | 我喜欢自己不生气的样子 |
| 1017 | My quiet moments are more peaceful. | 我平静的时刻比较平静 |
| 1018 | I have more clarity. | 我比较清楚了 |
| 1019 | In terms of goals, my goals are more diverse now. | 在目标方面,我的目标现在更加多样化。 |
| 1020 | It's not just about surviving and making more money. | 不只是生存和赚更多的钱 |
| 1021 | It's about doing things that please me. | 这是关于做一些让我高兴的事。 |
| 1022 | And then it expands. | 后又扩张. |
| 1023 | Oh, I've really enjoyed working in a community | 哦,我真的很喜欢在社区工作 |
| 1024 | and working with other people and helping them. | 与他人合作 帮助他们 |
| 1025 | I found more purpose. | 我发现更多的目的。 |
| 1026 | And that purpose, the more you find your purpose | 而这个目的,你越发现你的目的 |
| 1027 | and you lean into it, | 你却靠在它上面, |
| 1028 | you realize that that purpose has sub-genres | 你知道这个目的有子流派 |
| 1029 | and pockets and other categories that you can lean into, | 和口袋,以及其他你们可以选择的类别, |
| 1030 | and life just feels better. | 和生活只是感觉更好。 |
| 1031 | And I like that. | 我喜欢这样 |
| 1032 | Yeah, I like that. | 是啊,我喜欢这样。 |
| 1033 | I just started feeling better. | 我开始感觉好点了 |
| 1034 | That's great. | 赞曰. |
| 1035 | For someone who's done the reading, | 对读过书的人来说 |
| 1036 | done the journaling, done the meditating, | 完成日记,完成冥想, |
| 1037 | done all this work on themselves, | 做所有这些工作自己, |
| 1038 | but they still feel stuck. | 但他们仍然觉得卡住了。 |
| 1039 | They still feel like, I'm not getting the breakthrough. | 他们仍然觉得,我没有得到突破。 |
| 1040 | I'm not creating the results I want. | 我没有创造我想要的结果。 |
| 1041 | What do you think is the next thing for them? | 你觉得他们接下来会怎样? |
| 1042 | Take a look at your goals. | 看看你的目标 |
| 1043 | What is it that you're trying to accomplish? | 你想达到什么目的? |
| 1044 | And is it reasonable for who you are in this moment? | 你此刻的身份合理吗? |
| 1045 | Sometimes it's not, I need to try harder. | 有时不是,我需要更努力 |
| 1046 | I need to recruit more of these programs | 我需要更多这些节目 |
| 1047 | and I need to learn more. | 我需要学习更多。 |
| 1048 | And no, sometimes we just need to reflect. | 不,有时候我们只需要反思一下。 |
| 1049 | What is it that I'm trying to do? | 我到底想怎样? |
| 1050 | If these obstacles are in my way, | 如果这些障碍妨碍到我 |
| 1051 | perhaps they're not a statement of my capability. | 也许他们不是对我能力的陈述 |
| 1052 | Perhaps the obstacles in my way are a warning sign | 可能我路上的障碍是警告 |
| 1053 | that perhaps I'm moving too fast | 或许我走得太快了 |
| 1054 | or I'm moving in a direction | 或者我朝一个方向走 |
| 1055 | that I'm just not ready for in the moment. | 我现在还没准备好 |
| 1056 | Your goals are beautiful. | 你的目标很漂亮 |
| 1057 | Goals, they're wonderful. | 目标,他们很棒。 |
| 1058 | Set all the goals you can and try to achieve them. | 设定所有你能达到的目标,并努力实现这些目标. |
| 1059 | But if you are knocking your head up against a wall, Louis, | 但如果你把头撞在墙上 路易 |
| 1060 | I think that it is indicative that you need to stop | 我认为这表明你需要停止 |
| 1061 | and probably go in a different direction. | 并且可能朝另一个方向走 |
| 1062 | The analogy I use a lot is just about a newborn baby. | 我经常使用的类比只是关于新生儿。 |
| 1063 | If a newborn baby just had the capability to walk | 如果新生婴儿有走路的能力 |
| 1064 | fresh out of the womb, | 刚从子宫里出来 |
| 1065 | I don't know if those tiny legs | 我不知道这些小腿 |
| 1066 | and that weak muscle-ature | 和弱的肌肉-天性 |
| 1067 | would be able to support the weight. | 能够支撑重量。 |
| 1068 | You have to do one thing at a time. | 你必须做一件事一次。 |
| 1069 | First, you learn to hold your head up. | 首先 你要学会举起头来 |
| 1070 | Then you learn to scoot. | 那你就学着跑 |
| 1071 | Then you learn to crawl. | 然后你学会爬行。 |
| 1072 | Then you learn to get up and fall down a bunch of times. | 然后学起身倒下无数次. |
| 1073 | It's a gradual process, | 这是一个渐进的过程, |
| 1074 | but there are waypoints in between | 但之间有条路 |
| 1075 | that are developmentally appropriate. | 发展适宜。 |
| 1076 | It's obvious when we see a baby. | 当我们看到婴儿时,这是很明显的。 |
| 1077 | It's not always obvious when we see ourselves. | 当我们看到自己时,它并不总是显而易见的. |
| 1078 | That's true. | 没错 |
| 1079 | So what points are, what are you skipping? | 那么,什么是,你跳过什么? |
| 1080 | Let's reverse map and deconstruct this thing. | 让我们反转地图 并解构这个东西。 |
| 1081 | Maybe there are things that you need to work on | 也许有些事情你需要研究 |
| 1082 | in between where you are now | 在你现在的位置之间 |
| 1083 | and where you ultimately want to be | 以及你最终想要的地方 |
| 1084 | and that deserve more of your time, | 这值得你多花点时间 |
| 1085 | attention, and awareness. | 关注和认识。 |
| 1086 | What are they? | 他们是什么? |
| 1087 | And let's get more comfortable with understanding | 让我们更舒服地理解 |
| 1088 | that we need to spend more time there. | 我们需要花更多的时间在那里。 |
| 1089 | It's okay. | 没关系。 |
| 1090 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1091 | What would you say is a self-sabotaging pattern | 你说的是一种自我破坏模式 |
| 1092 | that's become so normalized in today's society | 这在今天的社会中变得如此正常化 |
| 1093 | that most people don't even recognize it as self-sabotage? | 大多数人甚至不承认它是自我破坏? |
| 1094 | Oh my goodness. | 天呐 |
| 1095 | I think just piggybacking off of what we just talked about, | 我觉得我们刚才谈的只是小题大做 |
| 1096 | I think it's trying to be in too much of a hurry | 我觉得它太急了 |
| 1097 | to be over something. | 以过某事。 |
| 1098 | In the book, it's one of the uncomfortable truths | 在书中,这是令人不舒服的事实之一 |
| 1099 | I talk about. | 我说的 |
| 1100 | I'm ready to be over something that happened to me. | 我准备好面对我身上发生的事了 |
| 1101 | It's like when people put the ED at the end of hill | 就像人们把ED放在山的尽头 |
| 1102 | as if it's a destination, then you know that. | 碞钩琌よ |
| 1103 | No, it's forever, man. | 不,这是永远,男人。 |
| 1104 | Nah, it's forever. | 不,这是永远。 |
| 1105 | It's like it's a journey. | 如是经行. |
| 1106 | It's a forever journey. | 永行无尽. |
| 1107 | Even when you say that, | 即使你这么说 |
| 1108 | it doesn't really encapsulate all that that encompasses. | 它并没有真正囊括所有包含。 |
| 1109 | But I think that it's when we're in too much of a rush | 但我觉得我们太着急了 |
| 1110 | to be over something. | 以过某事。 |
| 1111 | And as opposed to just sitting in it | 而不是只是坐着 |
| 1112 | and recognizing what the hard moments are here to teach us, | 并承认 困难的时刻在这里教导我们, |
| 1113 | recognizing what the hard moments are indicating | 承认困难时刻所显示的 |
| 1114 | about where we are on this road. | 关于我们在这条路上的位置。 |
| 1115 | We're ready to just zoom past it. | 我们准备放大它。 |
| 1116 | We're ready to say, you know, I'm unbothered or, | 我们准备好说,你知道, 我还没有兄弟或, |
| 1117 | I'm not worried about that thing anymore. | 我不再担心那东西了 |
| 1118 | And it's something that we verbalize | 我们用语言来形容 |
| 1119 | and we say, but we don't feel deeply. | 我们说,但我们不觉得深刻。 |
| 1120 | And that causes an incongruence | 这引起了不安 |
| 1121 | because your inner experience doesn't match | 因为你的内在经历不匹配 |
| 1122 | your presentation or your outer experience. | 你的介绍或你的外在经历。 |
| 1123 | And when your inner experience is one thing, | 而当你的内在经历是一件事, |
| 1124 | but you have to present something different, | 但你必须展示不同的东西, |
| 1125 | it creates a gap. | 它造成了一个缺口。 |
| 1126 | And in between that gap moves a lot of inauthenticity. | 而在这个差距之间 移动了很多不真实。 |
| 1127 | You're out of integrity. | 你没有正直。 |
| 1128 | You're out of harmony. | 汝离诸和谐. |
| 1129 | You're out of alignment. | 你离队了 |
| 1130 | That's right. | 没错 |
| 1131 | Right. | 对 |
| 1132 | You're trying to project something that's not true. | 你试图投射一些不真实的东西。 |
| 1133 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1134 | And you know that it's not true, mainly. | 你知道这不是真的,主要是。 |
| 1135 | So then you get stuck in the cycle of performance | 所以,你被困在 周期的性能 |
| 1136 | because you're not the thing. | 因为你不是问题所在 |
| 1137 | So you have to project the image | 所以你必须投影 |
| 1138 | of being the thing out into the world. | 成为出世之物 |
| 1139 | You're playing a character. | 你在扮演一个角色。 |
| 1140 | And at some point it gets exhausting. | 在某个时候,它变得疲惫不堪。 |
| 1141 | Exhausting, then what? | 疲劳,然后呢? |
| 1142 | Because I think as a younger person, | 因为我认为作为一个年轻人, |
| 1143 | you know, playing a character might be a fun game, | 你知道,玩角色 可能是一个有趣的游戏, |
| 1144 | but as you accumulate life and life experiences, | 但当你们积累生命和经历的时候, |
| 1145 | and if you find a partner, oh boy, | 如果你找到一个搭档,哦,男孩, |
| 1146 | finding a partner is different | 找到搭档不一样 |
| 1147 | because you can't hide from the person you live with. | 因为你不能躲开你所住的人 |
| 1148 | They will see you. | 他们会看到你的。 |
| 1149 | And then you start building this life | 然后你开始建立这种生活 |
| 1150 | and things will start collapsing | 事情会开始崩溃 |
| 1151 | because you can't, you can't, | 因为你不能,你不能, |
| 1152 | the easiest thing to do, | 最简单的事情 |
| 1153 | the easiest move to make if you want to destroy everything | 如果你想破坏一切,最容易移动 |
| 1154 | is to not be the thing, but to perform the thing. | 事情不是那样的 而是来表演 |
| 1155 | Oh yeah. | 对 |
| 1156 | Because the second that you're tired | 因为第二,你累了 |
| 1157 | or you let your guard down | 否则你就会放松警惕 |
| 1158 | or you really walk in a space of authenticity, | 或者你真的走在一个真实的空间里 |
| 1159 | all these things that are pillored by | 这些东西都是由 |
| 1160 | you moving the furniture around in your mind | 你在你的脑海中移动家具 |
| 1161 | in order to, you know, | 为了,你知道, |
| 1162 | do the things that you think the world needs you to do | 做你认为世界需要你做的事 |
| 1163 | will be the person that you think the world needs you to be. | 将是你认为世界需要你的人 |
| 1164 | As soon as you're compromised even a little bit, | 一旦你妥协了一点 |
| 1165 | it becomes a house of cards. | 它变成了一个纸牌屋。 |
| 1166 | Everything falls down one by one. | 一切众生悉皆堕落. |
| 1167 | It does. | 没错 |
| 1168 | Playing a character is exhausting. | 扮演一个角色是累坏了。 |
| 1169 | I wrote a book called The Mask of Masculinity | 我写了一本书,叫做"男性的面具" |
| 1170 | nine years ago now. | 九年前的现在。 |
| 1171 | And for me, it was about the masks that men wear. | 对我来说,男人戴的面具。 |
| 1172 | And it was my own reflection of the mask | 这是我对面具的反射 |
| 1173 | that I was wearing most of my life | 我一辈子都穿着 |
| 1174 | to try to fit in, to try to belong. | 尝试融入,尝试归属。 |
| 1175 | It was all strategies to survive. | 这一切都是为了生存 |
| 1176 | Psychologically, emotionally, right? | 心理上,情感上,对不对? |
| 1177 | Which felt like physical survival, | 这感觉就像身体上的生存, |
| 1178 | but even though it wasn't. | 虽然不是 |
| 1179 | And you can only wear those masks for so long | 你只能戴面具这么久 |
| 1180 | before they all, before it just all crumbles down. | 在他们全部之前 在一切崩溃之前 |
| 1181 | You know, before it's so exhausting, | 你知道,在它这么累之前, |
| 1182 | so overwhelming, so daunting. | 如此惊人,如此令人生畏。 |
| 1183 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1184 | And you lose yourself in a mask and you're like, who am I? | 而你失去了自己 在面具,你喜欢, 我是谁? |
| 1185 | You have to practice being who you are. | 你必须练练自己 |
| 1186 | That's exhausting. | 这太累人了 |
| 1187 | You haven't reinforced it. | 你还没有加强它。 |
| 1188 | You've been playing the character the entire time. | 你一直扮演这个角色 |
| 1189 | It's exhausting, man. | 累死了,伙计。 |
| 1190 | Once the character leaves, what are you left with? | 一旦角色离开,你还剩下什么? |
| 1191 | It's scary. | 令人惊骇. |
| 1192 | It's scary if you don't know who you are, | 如果你不知道自己是谁,那会很可怕 |
| 1193 | how to trust yourself, how to like yourself, | 如何相信自己, 如何喜欢自己, |
| 1194 | like you said, it's scary. | 就像你说的,这是可怕的。 |
| 1195 | But you have to practice those things. | 但你必须练习那些东西。 |
| 1196 | It's not something that just, you know, | 这不是什么 只是,你知道, |
| 1197 | dawns on you out of thin air. | 天亮的时候,你的空气。 |
| 1198 | You have to continuously practice that. | 你必须不断练习 |
| 1199 | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| 1200 | In the book I talk about, | 在我说的书里 |
| 1201 | if you want to be who you say you are, | 如果你想成为你说的那个人 |
| 1202 | prove it to yourself, practice it. | 证明给你自己,练习一下 |
| 1203 | You think you want to be a genuine person. | 你以为你想成为一个真正的人。 |
| 1204 | Make sure that the relationships that you're open | 确定你开着的关系 |
| 1205 | and vulnerable in, in your words, | 用你的话来说,是脆弱的 |
| 1206 | that you're open and vulnerable in your actions. | 说你在行动中是开放和脆弱的。 |
| 1207 | Even when it's scary because on the other side | 即使它很可怕,因为在另一边 |
| 1208 | of vulnerability is possible pain. | 脆弱是可能的痛苦。 |
| 1209 | Practice it. | 练习一下 |
| 1210 | You say you're a generous person. | 你说你是一个慷慨的人。 |
| 1211 | What are you providing your community? | 你在为你的社区提供什么? |
| 1212 | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 对,对,对 |
| 1213 | Go donate your time somewhere. | 去什么地方捐点时间吧 |
| 1214 | You know, you say that you are a family-oriented person. | 你知道,你说你是一个面向家庭的人。 |
| 1215 | Close the laptop and you don't have to play | 关上笔记本就不用玩了 |
| 1216 | with the kids for three hours, | 和孩子们在一起三个小时, |
| 1217 | but spend some time with your family, | 但与你的家人共度时光, |
| 1218 | doing the hardest thing that any human can do | 做人类所能做的最难的事 |
| 1219 | and that's being present. | 这是在场。 |
| 1220 | You have to, when we think about things | 你一定要,当我们思考的事情 |
| 1221 | that we have to prove, | 我们必须证明, |
| 1222 | we think about proving things to other people. | 我们想证明给别人看 |
| 1223 | Trust, you know. | 信任,你知道吗? |
| 1224 | I trust you when you prove to me | 我信任你,当你证明给我 |
| 1225 | who you are over time and consistently, | 你将永居其中, |
| 1226 | but we have to have that same relationship with ourselves. | 但我们必须有同样的 关系与我们自己。 |
| 1227 | I trust that I am who I say I am | 我相信我是我说的那个人 |
| 1228 | when I prove it to myself consistently throughout time. | 当我一直向自己证明时 |
| 1229 | What do you think is gonna be the biggest challenge | 你觉得最大的挑战是什么? |
| 1230 | for people going into the next few years of their lives | 对于进入未来几年的人来说 |
| 1231 | with where the economy is at, | 与经济所处的位置, |
| 1232 | with where AI is at, | 在AI所在的地方, |
| 1233 | with where social media is at, | 在社交媒体, |
| 1234 | with the uncertainties of the world, | 与世界的不确定性, |
| 1235 | financially, politically, wars, | 财政、政治、战争 |
| 1236 | with all the uncertainty coming, | 随着所有不确定性的来临, |
| 1237 | what is the biggest challenge that human beings face | 人类面临的最大挑战是什么? |
| 1238 | as a therapist perspective? | 作为心理医生的观点? |
| 1239 | Knowing what to believe. | 知其信义. |
| 1240 | What's real. | 何谓真实. |
| 1241 | Knowing what to believe, what's true, | 知道该相信什么,什么是真实的, |
| 1242 | what's in my best interest. | 我最关心的是什么 |
| 1243 | I think that there is a comfort. | 我认为这是一种安慰。 |
| 1244 | You just talked about survivor. | 你刚才说的是幸存者 |
| 1245 | There's a comfort and certainty. | 有安乐有定. |
| 1246 | And the newness of our evolving world | 以及我们不断演变的世界的新生 |
| 1247 | gives us a profound sense of uncertainty. | 给我们一种深刻的不确定感。 |
| 1248 | How are you going to be okay? | 你怎么会没事? |
| 1249 | What does your future look like? | 你的未来是什么样子? |
| 1250 | What do your future economic opportunities look like | 你未来的经济机会是什么样子的 |
| 1251 | when a computer can take your job? | 什么时候计算机可以接受你的工作? |
| 1252 | You know, it's, | 你知道,这是, |
| 1253 | we, I saw a joke on Instagram where it's this guy | 我们,我在Instagram上看到一个笑话 里面是这家伙 |
| 1254 | and he's playing his dad. | 他在扮演他的父亲。 |
| 1255 | And he says, when my dad is trying to figure out | 他说,当我爸爸在想 |
| 1256 | whether or not AI is real, | AI是否真实, |
| 1257 | he's like, son, is this real? | 他就像,儿子,这是真的吗? |
| 1258 | And he takes the phone and you see what he's watching. | 他拿着电话,你看他看什么。 |
| 1259 | And there's a guy on the pier | 码头上有个家伙 |
| 1260 | and he's fishing and an alligator comes up | 他正在钓鱼 鳄鱼来了 |
| 1261 | and then the alligator jumps out of the water, | 然后鳄鱼从水中跳出来, |
| 1262 | puts up his dukes. | 给他的公爵。 |
| 1263 | And he's like, geez, dad. | 他就像,天哪,爸爸。 |
| 1264 | Like, my goodness. | 喜欢,我的天啊。 |
| 1265 | Boy, the proliferation of technology and AI | 男孩,技术和AI的扩散 |
| 1266 | is going to become harder and harder | 越来越难了 |
| 1267 | to decide what's real and what's not. | 决定什么是真实的什么不是。 |
| 1268 | Just what? | 刚刚什么? |
| 1269 | My first phone was a Nokia 5190, | 我的第一个电话是诺基亚5190 |
| 1270 | you know, the big brick dream. | 砖头梦 |
| 1271 | And the only game I had on it was Snake and Tetris. | 我唯一玩的游戏是蛇和俄罗斯方块。 |
| 1272 | And now, just in what, 20 something years, | 而现在,就在什么,20年左右, |
| 1273 | I have unlimited possibilities on my cellular device. | 我的手机装置有无限的可能性 |
| 1274 | This technology is only going to get better. | 这种技术只会变得更好。 |
| 1275 | I think knowing what to believe is going to trickle down | 我想知道该相信什么 将会流淌下来 |
| 1276 | into knowing what to trust. | 要知道该相信什么 |
| 1277 | And that is going to dovetail | 那将会是尾巴 |
| 1278 | into not only trusting things, but trusting people. | 不仅相信事物 而且相信人 |
| 1279 | And if you marry that with taking away third spaces, | 如果你嫁给那个 带走了第三个空间, |
| 1280 | where people don't mean a person anymore, | 那里的人不再指一个人, |
| 1281 | where even romantic relationships | 即使是浪漫的关系 |
| 1282 | are a hotbed for skepticism and distrust. | 是怀疑和不信任的温床。 |
| 1283 | What happens to humans | 人类的遭遇 |
| 1284 | when we lose our desire for connection? | 当我们失去对连接的渴望时? |
| 1285 | I'm not going to pretend to know. | 我不会假装知道。 |
| 1286 | It's, but I still think that there's great hope. | 是的,但我还是觉得有希望 |
| 1287 | I don't think it's doom and gloom. | 我不认为这是末日和忧郁。 |
| 1288 | I read this magnificent book called Sapiens. | 我读了一本伟大的书叫萨皮恩斯 |
| 1289 | And in the book, it said if you took somebody | 书上说如果你带走了某人 |
| 1290 | from the 1600s and planted them in the 1700s, | 从1600年代开始,并植入1700年代, |
| 1291 | the world wouldn't be that remarkably different. | 世界不会有那么大的不同 |
| 1292 | But if you took somebody from like the early 1900s | 但是如果你从1900年代早期就带走了一个人 |
| 1293 | and you transplanted them a thousand years later, | 你移植了他们一千年后, |
| 1294 | they would have no idea where they are. | 他们根本不知道自己在哪 |
| 1295 | For a hundred years later, maybe. | 也许一百年后 |
| 1296 | Even still. | 乃至不动. |
| 1297 | Technology, it changes the way advancements go. | 科技,它改变了进步的方式。 |
| 1298 | We think it advances like one, two, three, four. | 我们认为它的进展像一,二,三,四。 |
| 1299 | And it feels like it's starting to advance | 感觉开始进步了 |
| 1300 | like one, two, four, eight, 16, 24. | 像1,2,4,8,16,24一样。 |
| 1301 | Like the quantum leaps are becoming more and more obvious. | 就像量子飞跃越来越明显 |
| 1302 | So it does give me a lot of consternation | 这确实让我非常惊恐 |
| 1303 | around where we're going and what we're doing. | 绕着我们要去的地方和我们在做什么。 |
| 1304 | But I think a lot of the answer is going to be | 但我认为很多答案是 |
| 1305 | around tapping back into our humanity. | 重新探索我们的人性 |
| 1306 | Developing actual community, face-to-face communication. | 发展实际社区,面对面沟通. |
| 1307 | Yeah, that's it, man. | 是的,就是这样,伙计。 |
| 1308 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1309 | In person is going to be key, I feel like. | 亲自是关键,我觉得 |
| 1310 | It's already starting, man. | 已经开始了,伙计 |
| 1311 | Did you see the thing, the Gen Z kids | 你看到那个东西了吗,Gen Z的孩子 |
| 1312 | are getting rid of the smartphones | 正在清除智能手机 |
| 1313 | and they got like the flip phones? | 他们有像翻转手机? |
| 1314 | I like that. | 我喜欢 |
| 1315 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1316 | I like that, yeah. | 我喜欢,是的。 |
| 1317 | I think we're collectively kind of over it, man. | 我觉得我们总算解决了 |
| 1318 | Oh no, it'll always pull you back in though. | 哦,不,它会总是拉你回来 虽然。 |
| 1319 | I mean, hopefully. | 我的意思是,希望是这样。 |
| 1320 | Hopefully there's a way to create balance with it. | 希望有办法 创造平衡与它。 |
| 1321 | That's the goal. | 这就是目标。 |
| 1322 | Yeah, I hope so. | 是啊,我希望是这样。 |
| 1323 | Balance and harmony. | 平衡与和谐. |
| 1324 | I surely hope so. | 我当然希望如此。 |
| 1325 | And in terms of just mental health, | 在心理健康方面 |
| 1326 | more people deciding to be practitioners. | 更多人决定要当医生 |
| 1327 | We don't have enough of us for the need. | 我们没有足够的人满足需要。 |
| 1328 | It's just simply not enough of us, man, | 只是我们还不够,伙计 |
| 1329 | for the needs of the world. | 为了世界的需要。 |
| 1330 | How many therapists are there in America right now? | 现在美国有多少治疗师? |
| 1331 | Do we know? | 我们知道吗? |
| 1332 | Who knows? | 谁知道呢? |
| 1333 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1334 | Not enough. | 还不够 |
| 1335 | Not enough, huh? | 还不够吧? |
| 1336 | Yeah, not nearly enough. | 是啊,还不够。 |
| 1337 | I think there's a severe shortage. | 我觉得有严重的短缺。 |
| 1338 | And imagine if people could learn to be their own therapist | 想象一下如果人们能学会做自己的治疗师 |
| 1339 | in a sense where they could learn certain tools | 从某种意义上说,他们可以学习某些工具 |
| 1340 | and skills about their emotional understanding and start. | 以及他们的情感理解和开始 |
| 1341 | I'm always gonna be wanting support, mentorship, | 我总是需要支持 辅导 |
| 1342 | therapy, coaching, even though I have a lot of the tools. | 治疗、辅导,尽管我有很多工具 |
| 1343 | But imagine learning to be with the tools yourself | 但想象一下自己学会用工具 |
| 1344 | and practicing them if you can't afford it | 并练习他们 如果你买不起它 |
| 1345 | or if you don't have access to someone right away. | 或者如果你不能立刻接触某人 |
| 1346 | Just people would be better people in general | 普通人会更好 |
| 1347 | if they had these tools, | 如果他们有这些工具, |
| 1348 | like what you're talking about in your book. | 就像你在书里说的 |
| 1349 | Yeah, but I think it's starting though. | 是的,但我觉得它已经开始了。 |
| 1350 | I think we're starting in a way. | 我认为我们开始的方式。 |
| 1351 | Just think about the parent, the father that your dad had | 想想你的父亲和父亲 |
| 1352 | in terms of emotional capability, emotional bandwidth, | 情感能力 情感带宽 |
| 1353 | just his aperture for how he sees life. | 只是他的孔径 对于他如何看待生命。 |
| 1354 | Think about that versus the kind of dad that you are. | 想想这和你是什么样的爸爸。 |
| 1355 | How different that is. | 何等分别. |
| 1356 | Oh, so different. | 哦,真不一样。 |
| 1357 | Night and day. | 夜以继日. |
| 1358 | So those things are already happening. | 所以那些事情已经发生了。 |
| 1359 | It's just not enough time has elapsed | 只是时间不够 |
| 1360 | for us to see the fruits of that labor. | 以便我们看到那劳动的成果。 |
| 1361 | What do you think your kids are gonna say, | 你觉得你的孩子会说什么? |
| 1362 | or maybe your grandkids are gonna say, | 或者你的孙子们会说 |
| 1363 | you know, our dad didn't have what we have now. | 你知道,我们的爸爸 没有我们现在有。 |
| 1364 | You think they're gonna keep saying that? | 你觉得他们会继续这么说吗? |
| 1365 | Oh yeah, absolutely. | 当然 |
| 1366 | What are they gonna say in 50 years that like, | 他们50年后会怎么说? |
| 1367 | my dad was as great as he was and this and the therapist, | 我爸和他一样伟大 和这个治疗师, |
| 1368 | but he didn't have what, | 但他没有什么 |
| 1369 | I need to break generational trauma still. | 我需要打破世代的创伤。 |
| 1370 | What is that generational trauma | 什么叫世代创伤 |
| 1371 | that our grandkids are gonna need to break? | 我们的孙子们需要分手吗? |
| 1372 | That is such a good question, man. | 这是一个很好的问题,男人。 |
| 1373 | The way I think of it, the way it's phrased in my mind is, | 我的想法,我脑海中的说法是, |
| 1374 | what are my kids gonna have to forgive me for? | 我的孩子为什么要原谅我? |
| 1375 | Ooh. | 瓳 |
| 1376 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1377 | What is that? | 这是什么? |
| 1378 | Yeah, I think it's gonna be- | 是的,我想这将是 - |
| 1379 | And you can be the best possible dad you can be. | 你可以成为你最好的爸爸 |
| 1380 | Yeah, I'm gonna keep your kids out of therapy. | 是的,我要让你的孩子远离治疗。 |
| 1381 | Why is that? | 为什么? |
| 1382 | Just because challenges occur. | 仅仅是因为挑战的出现。 |
| 1383 | Your kids don't just survive the worst parts of you. | 你的孩子不只是活在你最坏的部分。 |
| 1384 | They have to survive your personality. | 他们必须活过你的人格。 |
| 1385 | They are parts of your personality | 它们是你个性的一部分 |
| 1386 | that are just gonna create gaps and divots. | 这只会造成漏洞和漏洞 |
| 1387 | And one of the most frustrating parts | 也是最令人沮丧的部分之一 |
| 1388 | about being a parent is that we do not fundamentally | 身为父母,我们根本上 |
| 1389 | understand the needs of our children. | 了解我们儿童的需求。 |
| 1390 | It's impossible to keep up with. | 不可与么时. |
| 1391 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 1392 | Yeah, and so those gaps are gonna be where need exists | 是啊,所以这些差距 将是需要的地方 |
| 1393 | and they're gonna be things that you simply can't see. | 它们会是你根本看不到的 |
| 1394 | I think what my kids is gonna be resilience. | 我觉得我的孩子会有弹性 |
| 1395 | You don't think they're gonna be able | 你不认为他们能 |
| 1396 | to have the resilience that we had? | 拥有我们拥有的复原能力? |
| 1397 | No. | 没有 |
| 1398 | It's been so easy and comparative. | 它是如此容易和比较。 |
| 1399 | You hear me talk about that? | 你听到我说的了吗? |
| 1400 | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 对,对,对 |
| 1401 | I didn't have AC and now my house doesn't go | 我没有空调,现在我家不走了 |
| 1402 | above 68 degrees. | 超过68度。 |
| 1403 | I can't go to bed without it at 69, at least. | 至少我69岁不能睡觉 |
| 1404 | You see? | 看到没? |
| 1405 | It's too hot at 69. | 69点太热了 |
| 1406 | I'm like, dude, resilience, huh? | 我像,伙计,弹性,是吧? |
| 1407 | It's gonna be resilience. | 将作应变. |
| 1408 | Those things are too easy, too fast, | 那些东西太简单 太快了 |
| 1409 | too much convenience, instant. | 太方便了,马上 |
| 1410 | We're too protective. | 我们太保护。 |
| 1411 | Interesting. | 有意思,这很有趣 |
| 1412 | Your kids ain't going down the street by themselves | 你的孩子不会一个人走的 |
| 1413 | or go play at the neighbor's house. | 或者去邻居家玩 |
| 1414 | We're always there. | 我们总是在那里。 |
| 1415 | They don't get to develop those parts | 他们不能开发这些部件 |
| 1416 | of their personalities without us around. | 他们的人格,没有我们身边。 |
| 1417 | Interesting. | 有意思,这很有趣 |
| 1418 | Yeah, and I think it's gonna be a resilience thing. | 是啊,我想这将是 一个弹性的事情。 |
| 1419 | I think we spend a lot of time giving our kids | 我觉得我们花了很多时间给孩子 |
| 1420 | what we wish we had. | 我们所希望的 |
| 1421 | And then we, hey, but they need some of what we had. | 然后我们,嘿,但他们需要一些我们拥有的东西。 |
| 1422 | Yeah, they do. | 没错 |
| 1423 | And we give them as much of what we had as we can, | 我们尽可能多地给他们我们所拥有的一切 |
| 1424 | but we have to understand that our children's realities | 但是我们必须明白 我们孩子的现实 |
| 1425 | and our children's upbringing, they're not our upbringing. | 和我们的孩子的教养, 他们不是我们的教养。 |
| 1426 | You know, it's funny, | 你知道,这很有趣, |
| 1427 | and I'm sure there's gonna be a balance | 我敢肯定,会有一个平衡 |
| 1428 | between me and my wife, | 我和我妻子之间 |
| 1429 | but I'm like, even this morning, | 但我喜欢, 即使今天早上, |
| 1430 | I have twin girls that are 10 months old, | 我有10个月的双胞胎女孩 |
| 1431 | and I'm noticing that one of them, | 我注意到他们中的一个, |
| 1432 | this is gonna be hard | 这会是艰难的 |
| 1433 | because one of them is starting to crawl | 因为其中一个开始爬了 |
| 1434 | more than the other. | 比其他的还要多 |
| 1435 | And I'm like, stop babying the other one. | 而我喜欢,停止婴儿 另一个。 |
| 1436 | Like, let her fall a little bit, let her crawl. | 喜欢,让她掉下来一点点,让她爬。 |
| 1437 | She's like, but she's a baby. | 她喜欢,但她是一个婴儿。 |
| 1438 | It's like, she's a baby. | 这就像,她是一个婴儿。 |
| 1439 | I'm like, okay, yes, I get it, | 我很喜欢,好吧,是的,我知道了, |
| 1440 | but you can't hold her all day. | 但你不能整天抱着她 |
| 1441 | As sweet as they are, you can't carry her everywhere all day. | 和他们一样甜蜜,你不能整天背着她到处走 |
| 1442 | Not that she's doing that, I'm just making a case for us. | 不是说她这么做 我只是为我们立案 |
| 1443 | You can't hold them all day | 你不能整天抱着他们 |
| 1444 | and make sure everything's perfect. | 和确保一切的完美。 |
| 1445 | You don't wanna make it's not perfect, | 你不想让它不完美 |
| 1446 | but let them crawl and struggle. | 但让他们爬起来挣扎 |
| 1447 | And she's like, but them. | 她就像,但是他们。 |
| 1448 | You know what I mean? | 你知道我的意思吗? |
| 1449 | And she's like, but when she's making these, | 她喜欢,但当她做这些, |
| 1450 | starting to cry, you should kick her. | 开始哭,你应该踢她。 |
| 1451 | I'm like, no, let her struggle. | 我很喜欢,不,让她挣扎。 |
| 1452 | And let her feel a little pain. | 让她感到一点痛苦 |
| 1453 | It's not like it's, I'm not hurting her. | 这不像是,我没有伤害她。 |
| 1454 | She just can't get her arm up to move right now. | 她只是不能让她的手臂 现在移动。 |
| 1455 | And that's okay. | 这没关系。 |
| 1456 | That's, but that- | 这是,但是... |
| 1457 | Give it five seconds. | 给它5秒。 |
| 1458 | That's the great big wilderness though. | 虽然那是大荒野 |
| 1459 | Lewis, that's the wilderness because as parents, | 刘易斯 那是荒野 因为作为父母 |
| 1460 | especially as parents within our age range, | 尤其是作为我们这个年龄段的父母 |
| 1461 | we see our kids struggling as our own personal failures. | 我们把我们的孩子 当作我们个人的失败 |
| 1462 | Your inconvenience is my, and not to say your wife is, | 你的不便是我的 更别说你妻子是 |
| 1463 | but a lot of parents can bounce to this. | 但很多家长可以反弹到这个地步 |
| 1464 | I've done this before, so I can identify with it. | 我以前做过,所以我可以认同 |
| 1465 | Your struggle is my personal failure. | 你的斗争是我的个人失败。 |
| 1466 | You're uncomfortable, that's my personal failure. | 你不舒服,这是我个人的失败。 |
| 1467 | You're hungry, you should struggle, right? | 你饿了,你应该挣扎,对不对? |
| 1468 | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| 1469 | How else will you learn how to navigate that? | 不然你怎么学会导航呢? |
| 1470 | Self-resilience, you know? | 自我抵抗,你知道吗? |
| 1471 | 我在Instagram上说过一次 | |
| 1472 | my job as a parent isn't always to make you feel better. | 我做父母的工作 并不总是让你感觉好点 |
| 1473 | I know that sound, that's going to sound crazy to someone. | 我知道那声音,那会听起来疯狂的人。 |
| 1474 | You know, my daughter felt really guilty about something | 你知道,我的女儿感到 真的很内疚的东西 |
| 1475 | and I wanted to swoop in and just be like, | 我想冲进去,就像, |
| 1476 | no, don't feel guilty. | 不,不要觉得内疚。 |
| 1477 | It's okay. | 没关系。 |
| 1478 | ABC, no, I let her know that she wasn't a bad person, | ABC,不,我让她知道 她不是一个坏人, |
| 1479 | but I allow her to feel those feelings. | 但我允许她感受这些感情 |
| 1480 | How can you navigate something | 你怎么可以导航 |
| 1481 | that you never had, how can you navigate something | 你从来没有过, 你怎么能导航的东西 |
| 1482 | had the autonomy, the leash, and just the space | 拥有自主性,绳子,只有空间 |
| 1483 | to fully navigate, it's okay to fully navigate guilt | 完全导航,完全导航负罪感没关系 |
| 1484 | within the confines, within safe confines. | 在安全范围内 |
| 1485 | You need to have parental guardrails, of course. | 当然你需要有父母护栏 |
| 1486 | But it's okay to feel bad about something that you did. | 但对你做过的事感到难过也没关系 |
| 1487 | And then figure out, and then realize | 然后想清楚,然后意识到 |
| 1488 | you don't like that feeling, and figure out | 你不喜欢那种感觉 想想看 |
| 1489 | what you can do to self-soothe and climb your way | 做你能够做的自我安慰 爬上你的道路 |
| 1490 | out of it eventually. | 最终从中解脱出来. |
| 1491 | Of course, there's a limit to allowing your kids | 当然,允许你的孩子是有限的 |
| 1492 | to struggle, but that resilience piece | 抗争,但 韧性块 |
| 1493 | is integral, man. | 这是不可分割的,男人。 |
| 1494 | Healthy, safe struggle, you know? | 健康,安全的斗争,你知道吗? |
| 1495 | Create the healthy, safe struggle, | 创造健康、安全的斗争 |
| 1496 | but allow them to struggle, right? | 但让他们挣扎,对不对? |
| 1497 | So we'll see. | 我们等着瞧吧 |
| 1498 | I could see myself, I think I saw Steve Harvey say, | 我可以看到我自己, 我想我看到史蒂夫·哈维说, |
| 1499 | like, I ruined my girls. | 像,我毁了我的女孩。 |
| 1500 | Like, my sons, I was hard on, but my girls, | 就像,我的儿子们, 我硬了,但我的女孩们, |
| 1501 | I just gave them everything, I spoiled them constantly. | 我只是把一切都给了他们 我经常宠坏他们 |
| 1502 | He's like, I screwed them, I ruined them. | 他就像,我搞砸了他们,我毁了他们。 |
| 1503 | Dads do that a lot. | 爸爸经常这样 |
| 1504 | You know what I mean? | 你知道我的意思吗? |
| 1505 | It's like, and I could see myself potentially | 这就像,我可以看到自己的潜力 |
| 1506 | going down that route, because they're so sweet, | 沿着这条路走,因为他们是如此甜蜜, |
| 1507 | they're so cute, they're so innocent, all these things. | 他们是如此可爱, 他们是如此无辜, 所有这些事情。 |
| 1508 | But it's like, I feel like you've gotta create | 但它就像,我觉得你必须创造 |
| 1509 | some type of, even if it's a game, even if it's an activity, | 某种类型的,即使它是一个游戏, 即使它是一个活动, |
| 1510 | creating struggle and adversity in a safe context. | 在安全的环境下制造斗争和逆境。 |
| 1511 | Otherwise, you're robbing people of a potential future | 否则,你正在抢夺人们的未来 |
| 1512 | of greater gain. | 获得更大的收益。 |
| 1513 | Yeah, absolutely. | 当然 |
| 1514 | You rob them of the ability to figure it out themselves. | 你剥夺了他们自己想出办法的能力 |
| 1515 | My daughter, my youngest daughter, she, man, | 我的女儿,我最小的女儿,她,伙计, |
| 1516 | immediacy is a thing for her. | 刻不容缓是她的事情。 |
| 1517 | She wants it now. | 她现在想要 |
| 1518 | Now. | 现在 |
| 1519 | Of course, stop. | 当然,停下来。 |
| 1520 | And I was realizing that when she wants it now, | 我意识到当她现在想要的时候 |
| 1521 | she gets it now, so now we practice waiting. | 所以现在我们练习等待 |
| 1522 | Even if I can do it right now, I say, okay, | 即使我现在可以做,我说,好吧, |
| 1523 | give me a second, daddy is doing something. | 等一下,爸爸在做点什么 |
| 1524 | I will get this for you in a couple of minutes. | 我会得到这个给你 在几分钟内。 |
| 1525 | And she's old enough to be able to know, | 她已经长大了 能够知道 |
| 1526 | she has a concept of time, so say, hey, | 她有时间的概念,所以说,嘿, |
| 1527 | it says five, 10 o'clock on the oven. | 上面写着五 十点钟方向 |
| 1528 | When that last number says 20, I'll get up and do it, okay? | 当最后一个号码是20, 我会起床做,好吗? |
| 1529 | You have to practice waiting. | 你必须练习等待。 |
| 1530 | You have to practice waiting, because her inability, | 你必须练习等待, 因为她不能, |
| 1531 | I mean, she's four. | 她才四岁 |
| 1532 | Reasonably, she's, it's developmentally appropriate | 合理来说,她是, 这是在发展上合适的 |
| 1533 | for her to have everything now. | 让她现在拥有一切 |
| 1534 | She doesn't have that, yeah. | 她没有,是的。 |
| 1535 | But if we don't practice it at four, | 但如果我们四点不练习 |
| 1536 | she becomes a seven, eight, nine-year-old. | 她变成了七、八、九岁的孩子 |
| 1537 | It gets harder. | 它变得更难。 |
| 1538 | You have the ability, it only becomes harder. | 你有这种能力,只会更难 |
| 1539 | It gets harder. | 它变得更难。 |
| 1540 | So we've been practicing waiting. | 所以我们一直在练习等待。 |
| 1541 | That's good. | 这是很好的。 |
| 1542 | And then at the end, I give her the affirmation, | 最后,我向她申明 |
| 1543 | baby, you did such a good job waiting. | 宝贝,你做的这么好等待。 |
| 1544 | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| 1545 | What did you want to get? | 你想买什么? |
| 1546 | Show me, go to the pantry and show me | 给我看看,去储藏室给我看看 |
| 1547 | the thing that you wanted. | 事情你想要的东西。 |
| 1548 | Or explain to me the thing that you were trying to tell me. | 或向我解释你想告诉我的事 |
| 1549 | My wife and I are trying to have a conversation, | 我妻子和我试图有一个谈话, |
| 1550 | as in the kids are little buddenkies. | 孩子们都是小笨蛋 |
| 1551 | They come in and they want to have a full conversation | 他们进来想好好谈谈 |
| 1552 | in between us conversing. | 在我们之间交谈。 |
| 1553 | Wait a minute, mommy and daddy are talking. | 等等,爸妈在说话 |
| 1554 | I see you right there. | 我看见你了 |
| 1555 | I see you. | 我看见你了 |
| 1556 | Give me a second. | 给我一秒钟。 |
| 1557 | When I'm done talking to mommy, I will talk to you. | 等我跟妈妈说完,我会跟你谈 |
| 1558 | It's beautiful, man. | 真漂亮 伙计 |
| 1559 | Your new book is called, It All Starts When You Do. | 你的新书叫做"一有就开始" |
| 1560 | How to Do the Real Work of Self-Healing. | 如何做真正的工作 自我康复。 |
| 1561 | That's right. | 没错 |
| 1562 | I want to make sure everyone gets a copy of the book. | 我想确保每个人都能得到一本书。 |
| 1563 | If you're looking for tools to help you improve | 如果你在找工具帮助你改进 |
| 1564 | the quality of your life, heal, transform, | 你的生活质量,治愈,改造, |
| 1565 | and understand the emotions that seem overwhelming, | 并理解 情绪看起来压倒性, |
| 1566 | make sure you guys grab a copy. | 确保你们拿一个副本。 |
| 1567 | Two final questions for you, Keir. | 最后两个问题给你,基尔。 |
| 1568 | This one is called, The Three Truths. | 此经名为三真. |
| 1569 | So imagine hypothetically, it's your last day on earth. | 所以想象一下,这是你 地球上的最后一天。 |
| 1570 | Many years away. | 很多年过去了 |
| 1571 | I thank you, because you put a cap to my life earlier. | 谢谢你,因为你早点给我生命戴上帽子 |
| 1572 | You're like 50 years, you said daddy was. | 你就像50年, 你说爸爸是。 |
| 1573 | I was like, damn, daddy was, I'm only gonna live to 90. | 我当时想,该死的,爸爸是, 我只能活到90岁。 |
| 1574 | You get to live as long as you want, | 你想活多久就活多久就活多久 |
| 1575 | but it's your last day on earth. | 但这是你最后的一天 |
| 1576 | And you get to create and accomplish | 你可以创造和成就 |
| 1577 | and experience all the beauties and joys of this world. | 体验这个世界的美丽和快乐 |
| 1578 | But on your last day, you have to take all of your work | 但最后一天,你必须承担你的全部工作 |
| 1579 | with you, this conversation, your book, | 和你,这个对话,你的书, |
| 1580 | your content, gone, hypothetical. | 你的内容, 消失,假设。 |
| 1581 | However, you get to leave behind | 不过,你可以离开 |
| 1582 | three lessons to the world. | 三教为世间. |
| 1583 | I call it Three Truths. | 我称之为三真. |
| 1584 | What would those be for you? | 这些对你有什么好处? |
| 1585 | Give me a second, let me process that. | 等我一下,让我处理一下 |
| 1586 | And this is all that we would have access of your content, | 而这就是我们所能得到的 你的内容, |
| 1587 | are these three truths? | 这三个事实? |
| 1588 | These are the only three things that I leave behind, | 这是我留下的三件事 |
| 1589 | only Keir artifacts. | 只有基尔的文物 |
| 1590 | I got you. | 我扶着你 |
| 1591 | All right, so I think the first one is, | 好吧,所以我认为第一个是, |
| 1592 | they could be instructions? | 他们可能是指示? |
| 1593 | Anything, okay. | 任何东西,好吗。 |
| 1594 | Lessons, instructions, thoughts. | 教训,指示,思想. |
| 1595 | The first one is, always tell the truth of yourself. | 第一个是,总是说出你自己的真相。 |
| 1596 | Even when it's uncomfortable. | 即便不适时. |
| 1597 | Especially when it's uncomfortable. | 尤其是当它不舒服的时候。 |
| 1598 | Always tell the truth of yourself. | 常说真言曰. |
| 1599 | But not to others. | 但不是对别人 |
| 1600 | Well, when you practice telling the truth of yourself, | 好吧,当你练习 说实话自己, |
| 1601 | it becomes easier to tell the truth to others. | 向别人说真话就容易多了 |
| 1602 | So one bleeds into the other. | 所以一个血流到另一个。 |
| 1603 | The second one will be, being present | 第二个是,在场 |
| 1604 | is a lifelong practice. | 是一种终生的做法。 |
| 1605 | Continue to practice being present. | 继续练习在场. |
| 1606 | And three, just wanna cover the book. | 第三,只是想要 覆盖这本书。 |
| 1607 | It all starts when you do, on the title of the book. | 都从书名开始 |
| 1608 | Don't get good at waiting. | 何得精进等. |
| 1609 | Even though I tell my daughter to wait. | 虽然我叫女儿等. |
| 1610 | That's something completely different. | 这是完全不同的。 |
| 1611 | Don't get so good at waiting that you miss opportunities. | 别急着等 错过机会了 |
| 1612 | Absolutely deserve. | 绝对值得 |
| 1613 | Don't rob yourself of the beauty of life. | 别自劫众生之美. |
| 1614 | That's beautiful. | 赞曰. |
| 1615 | Waiting for something that is not promised to you. | 等待你所未承诺的东西 |
| 1616 | That's beautiful, Keir. | 真美,基尔 |
| 1617 | And I wanna acknowledge you, man, | 我想承认你,伙计, |
| 1618 | for putting yourself out there. | 让你自己出来 |
| 1619 | I know this has been a journey over the last five years | 我知道这五年来是一段旅程 |
| 1620 | of you creating content and sharing it with the world. | 你们创造内容,并与世人分享, |
| 1621 | So keep doing it, man. | 所以继续做,伙计。 |
| 1622 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 1623 | Inspiring a lot of people. | 启发众生. |
| 1624 | We need your work, so keep it up. | 我们需要你的工作,所以保持它。 |
| 1625 | Thanks, man. | 谢谢 |
| 1626 | And I'm gonna give you your flowers too. | 我会给你的花也。 |
| 1627 | Because I've watched a lot of your podcasts | 因为我看过很多你的播客 |
| 1628 | and you do something that I aspire, | 你做我所期望的事, |
| 1629 | not aspire, but I beg clients to do all the time. | 我并不渴望,但我恳求客户 做所有的时间。 |
| 1630 | We talk about it. | 我们谈论它。 |
| 1631 | This is the one thing. | 这是一件事。 |
| 1632 | If you don't do anything else, do this. | 如果你不做别的事 就这么做 |
| 1633 | Be curious. | 有点好奇 |
| 1634 | A curious mind is a catalyst to greatness. | 好奇心是伟大的催化剂。 |
| 1635 | That's beautiful. | 赞曰. |
| 1636 | Every single time, yeah, man. | 每一次,是的,伙计。 |
| 1637 | So thank you for being curious. | 所以谢谢你的好奇 |
| 1638 | Appreciate it, bro. | 谢谢你,兄弟。 |
| 1639 | And putting that version of masculinity | 加上那种男装 |
| 1640 | out into the world because it's well needed | 进入世界 因为它非常需要 |
| 1641 | and there's so many young men, not just young men, | 有很多年轻人 不只是年轻人 |
| 1642 | but especially young men that can benefit | 特别是能受益的年轻人 |
| 1643 | from having an example like you out there. | 从有一个例子 像你在那里。 |
| 1644 | So appreciate it, bro. | 谢谢你,兄弟 |
| 1645 | Appreciate it, man. | 谢谢你,伙计。 |
| 1646 | Yeah, man, thank you. | 是的,伙计,谢谢你。 |
| 1647 | I appreciate it. | 谢谢 |
| 1648 | Final question, what's your definition of greatness? | 最后一个问题,你对伟大的定义是什么? |
| 1649 | The definition of greatness to me is closing the gap | 对我而言,伟大的定义就是缩小差距 |
| 1650 | between who you say you are | 在你说你是谁之间 |
| 1651 | and how you show up in the world. | 以及你如何出现在这个世界。 |
| 1652 | Narrow the gap. | 缩小差距。 |
| 1653 | Snap, Keir Gaines, my man. | 冷静,基尔盖恩斯,我的人。 |
| 1654 | I appreciate it. | 谢谢 |
| 1655 | Appreciate you a little bit. | 有点感谢你 |
| 1656 | Thanks, brother. | 谢谢,兄弟。 |
| 1657 | Absolutely, man. | 当然,伙计。 |
| 1658 | Powerful. | 威力无边. |
| 1659 | People will say to me, Dr. K, I have no motivation. | 人们会对我说 K博士 我没有动机 |
| 1660 | That's incorrect. | 这不正确。 |
| 1661 | You have a ton of motivation. | 你有很多动机 |
| 1662 | You have a ton of motivation to stay home. | 你有一大堆留在家里的动机。 |
| 1663 | You have a ton of motivation to play video games. | 你玩电子游戏的动机很大 |
| 1664 | There is such a powerful drive to return to the county. | 有如此强大的驱动 返回县。 |
| 1665 | So identity shapes motivation. | 所以身份决定了动机 |
| 1666 | He is a psychiatrist, a Harvard-trained physician, | 他是精神病医生,哈佛医生 |
| 1667 | and founder of Healthy Gamer. | 也是健康游戏的创始人 |
| 1668 | One of the fastest... | 一个最快的... |
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