为何越相爱越难分手
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | There is a certain sort of relationship that is alternately passionate, fiery and painfully unfulfilling | 有某种关系 交替的热情, 火焰和痛苦的不实现 |
| 0:07 | and that tends to puzzle both outsiders and its participants. | 而这往往令外界及其参与者感到困惑。 |
| 0:11 | A relationship between one person who is, as psychologists put it, anxiously attached | 心理学家说,一个人的关系 被焦虑的附着 |
| 0:17 | and another who is avoidantly attached. | 和被弃绝者, |
| 0:20 | There is, in such couplings, a constant game of push and pull. | 在这种组合中,有一种不断的推拉游戏。 |
| 0:25 | The anxiously attached party typically complains, more or less loudly, that their partner is not responsive enough. | 紧紧贴身的一方通常或多或少地抱怨其伴侣反应不足。 |
| 0:32 | They accuse them of being emotionally distant, withholding, cold and perhaps physically uninterested too. | 他们指责他们感情疏远、不知情、冷漠, |
| 0:39 | The avoidant lover, for their part, stays relatively quiet, but in their more fed up moments | 避避的恋人,就他们而言, 保持相对安静, 但在他们更厌倦的时刻 |
| 0:45 | complains that the anxious party is far too demanding, possibly mad and, as they put it pejoratively, needy. | 他们抱怨 焦虑的政党 要求太高, 可能疯狂, |
| 0:53 | One person seems to want far too much, the other far too little. | 一个人似乎想要太多,另一个太少。 |
展开字幕全文（52 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | There is a certain sort of relationship that is alternately passionate, fiery and painfully unfulfilling | 有某种关系 交替的热情, 火焰和痛苦的不实现 |
| 2 | and that tends to puzzle both outsiders and its participants. | 而这往往令外界及其参与者感到困惑。 |
| 3 | A relationship between one person who is, as psychologists put it, anxiously attached | 心理学家说,一个人的关系 被焦虑的附着 |
| 4 | and another who is avoidantly attached. | 和被弃绝者, |
| 5 | There is, in such couplings, a constant game of push and pull. | 在这种组合中,有一种不断的推拉游戏。 |
| 6 | The anxiously attached party typically complains, more or less loudly, that their partner is not responsive enough. | 紧紧贴身的一方通常或多或少地抱怨其伴侣反应不足。 |
| 7 | They accuse them of being emotionally distant, withholding, cold and perhaps physically uninterested too. | 他们指责他们感情疏远、不知情、冷漠, |
| 8 | The avoidant lover, for their part, stays relatively quiet, but in their more fed up moments | 避避的恋人,就他们而言, 保持相对安静, 但在他们更厌倦的时刻 |
| 9 | complains that the anxious party is far too demanding, possibly mad and, as they put it pejoratively, needy. | 他们抱怨 焦虑的政党 要求太高, 可能疯狂, |
| 10 | One person seems to want far too much, the other far too little. | 一个人似乎想要太多,另一个太少。 |
| 11 | The unhappiness unfolds in a cycle. | 不乐在循环中展开. |
| 12 | At the start, the anxious partner loves the avoidant one with great intensity, but in time also growing frustration. | 一开始,焦急的伙伴非常强烈地爱着被避开的伙伴,但随着时间的推移,他们也越来越感到沮丧。 |
| 13 | The dissatisfaction grows ever more intense until, eventually one day, fed up with so much seeming rejection, | 不满情绪越发强烈 直到有一天, 厌倦了这么多看起来的拒绝, |
| 14 | the anxious partner overcomes their fears, decides they need something better and tells their lover that they're off. | 焦虑的伴侣克服了他们的恐惧,决定他们需要更好的东西,并告诉他们的爱人他们离开了. |
| 15 | At which point, the avoidant party undergoes a complete sea change. | 此时,避让方会经历彻底的海变. |
| 16 | Their greatest fear, that of being engulfed in love, disappears at a stroke | 他们最大的恐惧, 被爱吞没, 在中风时消失 |
| 17 | and reveals something that is normally utterly submerged in their character, a fear of being abandoned. | 并揭示了一些 通常完全沉浸在他们的性格中的东西, 一种被抛弃的恐惧。 |
| 18 | Wholly liberated from the threat of being engulfed, the anxious one may by now have packed their bags, | 他从被吞没的威胁中解放出来 焦虑的人现在可能收拾行李了 |
| 19 | the avoidant one gives free rein to all their reserves of pent-up romanticism and ardour, | 避之夭夭的人 自由地控制着他们所有 浪漫主义和热情的储备 |
| 20 | which feel utterly safe to bring out now that there seems so little danger of reciprocation. | 他们觉得完全安全 现在,似乎有 如此少的危险 互惠。 |
| 21 | Despite their fury, the anxious person hears the honeyed words and forthright promises | 尽管他们愤怒,焦虑的人 听到蜂蜜的言语和直言不讳的承诺 |
| 22 | and, after some initial doubts, can't help but be won over. | 和,经过一些最初的怀疑,不能不被战胜. |
| 23 | The formerly distant partner appears to have become, in the nick of time, as they'd always wanted them to be, a warm soul. | 从前的远方伴侣 似乎在不久的时间内 就像他们一直希望的那样 变成了温暖的灵魂 |
| 24 | There is no reason not to return. | 没有理由不返回。 |
| 25 | After all, it's not that they didn't love this person, it was the feeling they weren't loved back that was making things impossible. | 毕竟,不是他们不爱这个人,而是他们没有被爱回来的感觉让事情变得不可能. |
| 26 | For a time, there is bliss, and it seems that the couple are headed for long-term happiness. | 有一段时间,有幸福, 似乎这对夫妇 走向长期幸福。 |
| 27 | Liberated from their anxiety around engulfment, the avoidant partner gives free expression to love. | 被他们围绕吞没的焦虑所解放,避避的伙伴给爱以自由的表达. |
| 28 | Liberated from their fear of abandonment, the anxious one is left feeling secure and trusting. | 由于害怕被抛弃, 焦虑的一个人会感到安全和信任。 |
| 29 | But soon enough, the problems return. | 但很快,问题又出现了。 |
| 30 | Things become, as it were, too nice for the avoidant partner. | 事情变得,因为它是,太好 对于避避的伙伴。 |
| 31 | It seems the anxious one isn't going to leave them anymore, they're just going to stick around and seek ever greater closeness. | 看来焦虑的人不会再离开他们了 他们只是停留在身边 寻求更加接近 |
| 32 | And so, the old fear of engulfment returns. | 所以,旧的恐惧 被吞没了。 |
| 33 | They have no option but to start to pull away again and get distant, | 他们别无选择,只好再次离开,走远 |
| 34 | which gradually proves intolerable once again to the anxious partner. | 这再一次证明 焦虑的伙伴是无法容忍的 |
| 35 | Within weeks or months, the pair are back in the same situation. | 在数周或数月内,对子又回到了同样的情况. |
| 36 | Fierce 参数返回。 | |
| 37 | The words needy and cold are once more in circulation. | 贫寒的言语再次流传. |
| 38 | It's time for another crisis and another threat of departure. | 现在该是另一场危机和另一场离开威胁的时候了. |
| 39 | It may go on like this for years or a lifetime. | 它可能会这样持续多年或一生。 |
| 40 | From the outside, it is almost funny. | 从外面看,这几乎很有趣。 |
| 41 | From the inside, simply hellish. | 从里面说,简直是地狱。 |
| 42 | There are a few ways out. | 有几条出路 |
| 43 | The avoidant party can realize and learn to tolerate their fear of engulfment. | 躲避的政党可以意识到并学会容忍他们对被吞没的恐惧. |
| 44 | The anxious party can grow conscious of their unnatural pull towards unfulfilling people, | 焦虑的政党可以意识到 他们不正常的拉向 无法实现的人, |
| 45 | refuse to go back after a crisis and seek a future with more secure and reassuring sorts. | 拒绝在危机后返回,以更加安全和令人放心的方式寻求未来。 |
| 46 | Or, yet more hopefully for the couple, both partners could acquire a vocabulary of attachment theory. | 或者,对夫妇来说,更希望的是, 双方可以获得 附加理论的词汇。 |
| 47 | They could come to observe their repetitions, | 他们可以来观察他们的重复, |
| 48 | gain some insight into aspects of their childhoods that drive them on | 深入了解他们童年时期 推动他们成长的一些方面 |
| 49 | and learn not to act out their compulsions. | 并学会不 发挥他们的强制力。 |
| 50 | They can learn the games that they're unconsciously playing. | 他们可以学习他们无意识地玩的游戏. |
| 51 | And then, to the relief of all who care for them and to the redemption of the relationship, | 然后,为了解脱所有关心他们的人 为了挽救他们的关系, |
| 52 | they can refuse to play them any longer. | 他们可以不再玩了 |
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