10秒看穿一个人：微表情与肢体语言读心术
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Have you ever met someone and before you even get their name this little voice in your head goes? | 你见过一个人吗? 在你得到他们的名字之前... ... |
| 0:05 | Don't trust this person or maybe it's the other way around even after just a couple of words your gut just tells you | 别相信这个人,也许你直觉跟你说了几句话之后 事情就变了 |
| 0:11 | This person's different. | 这个人不同 |
| 0:13 | They're honest. | 他们是诚实的。 |
| 0:13 | They're the real deal that voice in your head | 这些是你脑子里的声音 |
| 0:17 | It's just your brain processing a bunch of info in literally seconds making a snap judgment | 这只是你的大脑 处理一堆信息 在字面上几秒钟 做出快速判断 |
| 0:22 | So what's this decision even based on is it their eyes the sound of their voice or just your instincts? | 那么,这个决定是什么 即使是基于它的眼睛 他们的声音的声音 还是你的直觉? |
| 0:29 | I've always wondered about that voice in my head | 我一直想着那个声音 |
| 0:32 | Why do we instantly vibe with some people and with others we just want to keep our distance even if they don't say a word | 为什么我们立刻与一些人和另一些人 保持距离,即使他们不说话 |
| 0:39 | So one day I decided to really dig into this | 所以有一天,我决定 真正挖掘这个 |
展开字幕全文（282 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Have you ever met someone and before you even get their name this little voice in your head goes? | 你见过一个人吗? 在你得到他们的名字之前... ... |
| 2 | Don't trust this person or maybe it's the other way around even after just a couple of words your gut just tells you | 别相信这个人,也许你直觉跟你说了几句话之后 事情就变了 |
| 3 | This person's different. | 这个人不同 |
| 4 | They're honest. | 他们是诚实的。 |
| 5 | They're the real deal that voice in your head | 这些是你脑子里的声音 |
| 6 | It's just your brain processing a bunch of info in literally seconds making a snap judgment | 这只是你的大脑 处理一堆信息 在字面上几秒钟 做出快速判断 |
| 7 | So what's this decision even based on is it their eyes the sound of their voice or just your instincts? | 那么,这个决定是什么 即使是基于它的眼睛 他们的声音的声音 还是你的直觉? |
| 8 | I've always wondered about that voice in my head | 我一直想着那个声音 |
| 9 | Why do we instantly vibe with some people and with others we just want to keep our distance even if they don't say a word | 为什么我们立刻与一些人和另一些人 保持距离,即使他们不说话 |
| 10 | So one day I decided to really dig into this | 所以有一天,我决定 真正挖掘这个 |
| 11 | I started diving into psychology behavioral science even neuroscience and guess what they all basically say the same thing | 我开始潜入心理学行为科学 甚至神经科学 猜他们都这么说 |
| 12 | First impressions aren't random at all. | 第一印象根本不是随机的 |
| 13 | They're actually systematic judgments | 其实是系统的判断 |
| 14 | And yeah, we can size someone up in just 10 seconds most of the time we do this without even realizing it | 是啊,我们可以在10秒内把一个人放大 我们这样做的大部分时间,甚至没有意识到 |
| 15 | But here's the cool part. | 但这是很酷的部分。 |
| 16 | We can actually do it on purpose too in this video | 我们也可以在录像里故意这样做 |
| 17 | I'll show you how to read someone's personality in just 10 seconds using real science real-life stories and a couple of simple tricks | 我教你如何在10秒内读取某人的个性 用真实的科学真实故事和一些简单的技巧 |
| 18 | I'll share some hacks to really get to know people | 我会分享一些黑客 真正了解人 |
| 19 | Sometimes just one quick look tells you everything you need to know ready. | 有时候只看一眼就会发现你要知道的一切 |
| 20 | Let's jump right in | 跳进去吧 |
| 21 | Have you ever felt uncomfortable because of the way someone looked at you it makes you want to look away | 你有没有觉得不舒服 因为有人看着你 让你想远离 |
| 22 | You get this uneasy feeling. | 感觉很不舒服 |
| 23 | You just can't explain and sometimes | 你只是不能解释 有时 |
| 24 | It's the opposite you talk to someone and when they look you right in the eye. | 你和别人说话,当他们看着你的眼睛时, 情况正好相反。 |
| 25 | You're like wow, I feel seen | 你就像哇,我觉得看到 |
| 26 | Eye-contact is way more powerful than most people think | 眼睛接触比大多数人认为的强得多 |
| 27 | Psychologists say eye contact isn't just a way to communicate | 心理学家说眼睛接触不仅仅是一种交流方式 |
| 28 | It's actually a trust test if someone keeps staring for too long it can feel | 这其实是一个信任测试 如果有人一直盯着太久 它会感觉 |
| 29 | overwhelming or even a little creepy but on the other hand | 令人难以忍受,甚至有点恐怖 但另一方面 |
| 30 | If someone looks away too quickly or keeps darting their eyes around that sends a different message | 如果有人看得太快 或不断在周围晃动 发出不同的信息 |
| 31 | I'm not really present. | 我不是真正的在场。 |
| 32 | I might be nervous around you or maybe I'm not being totally honest | 我可能很紧张,也许我不太诚实 |
| 33 | Here's what's wild | 这是疯狂的 |
| 34 | Research shows that people can usually tell if someone's trustworthy with just three seconds of eye contact | 研究表明,人们通常可以辨别 一个人的可信 仅三秒钟的眼睛接触 |
| 35 | And most of the time those gut feelings are spot on | 大部分时间,这些 直觉是斑点 |
| 36 | Let's say you're grabbing coffee with someone you just met | 假设你和刚刚认识的人一起喝咖啡 |
| 37 | If they keep avoiding your eyes or their eyes are constantly darting around you probably get that gut feeling that something's off | 如果他们一直躲着你的眼睛 或者他们的眼睛 不停地在你周围晃动 你可能会有种直觉 感觉有些东西是关闭的 |
| 38 | Even if you can't put your finger on it, that's your brain's quick intuitive side at work | 就算不能用手指指着它 那也是你的大脑在工作时的直觉 |
| 39 | What psychologists call system one? | 什么样的心理学家称系统一? |
| 40 | It picks up on stuff. | 东西上都有 |
| 41 | You might not even notice so when you first meet someone | 你可能甚至没有注意到 当你第一次遇到一个人 |
| 42 | Try asking yourself. | 试着问问你自己 |
| 43 | How are they looking at me if their eye contact feels warm? | 如果他们的眼睛接触感觉温暖 他们怎么看我? |
| 44 | Steady and relaxed odds are you're dealing with someone you can trust but if their eyes keep shifting away | 稳定而放松的几率是,你面对的是一个你可以信任的人,但如果他们的眼睛继续转移 |
| 45 | Maybe they're not being their true self | 也许他们不是真正的自己 |
| 46 | When someone smiles at you | 当有人对你微笑时 |
| 47 | Are they really happy or just being polite the secrets in their micro expressions? | 他们真的很高兴,还是只是礼貌的 在他们的微表情中的秘密? |
| 48 | Sometimes people's faces show what they're feeling in just a split second | 有时人们的脸 显示他们的感受 在一分秒 |
| 49 | So quick most folks don't even catch it, but our brains are great at picking up on these little clues | 所以,很快,大多数人 甚至没有抓住它, 但我们的大脑是很好的 收集这些小线索 |
| 50 | I remember once watching a youtube video that really stuck with me | 我记得有一次在看一个Youtube视频 真正粘着我 |
| 51 | An fbi agent was grilling a suspect and caught a micro expression a tiny flicker that lasted just 0.2 seconds | 联邦调查局特工正在盘问嫌疑人 并发现一个微缩的表情 一个微小的闪烁器 持续了0.2秒 |
| 52 | The suspect looked calm, but as soon as his eyebrows furrowed the agent was like that guy's lying | 疑犯看起来很冷静 但一旦他眉毛皱起 探员就好像那家伙在撒谎 |
| 53 | No joke. | 别开玩笑了 |
| 54 | This is exactly how micro expressions work | 这就是微表达式的原理 |
| 55 | If someone's secretly mad, but tries to force a smile their facial muscles just don't add up that tiny | 如果有人暗中发疯,但试图强迫微笑 他们的面部肌肉只是不加那么小 |
| 56 | Mismatch can tell you a ton about how they're really feeling here are a few quick examples | 错位可以告诉你一吨 他们在这里的真正感受是几个简单的例子 |
| 57 | Eyebrows shoot up for a split second | 眉毛一分两秒 |
| 58 | That's surprise or maybe fear lips press tight together | 这很意外,或者害怕嘴唇挤紧 |
| 59 | Usually means hidden anger if someone smiles, but their eyes stay the same | 通常意味着隐藏的愤怒 如果有人笑,但他们的眼睛保持不变 |
| 60 | That smile's probably fake. | 这笑容可能是假的 |
| 61 | So how do you spot these signs? | 你怎么发现这些标志的? |
| 62 | Just slow down for a second | 慢慢来 |
| 63 | Instead of only listening to someone's words watch what their body and face are saying people can lie with words | 而不是只听别人的言语 看着他们的身体和脸 说人们可以说谎 |
| 64 | But your face, especially those quick flashes almost never does | 但你的脸,尤其是那些快速闪光 几乎从来没有 |
| 65 | If someone says nice to meet you, but their eyes aren't smiling and their mouth looks tight | 如果有人说很高兴认识你,但他们的眼睛没有微笑,嘴看起来很紧 |
| 66 | Odds are they're not really that glad to meet you even if their words sound perfect micro expressions are small | 奇怪的是,他们并不那么高兴 见到你,即使他们的话听起来很完美 微表情很小 |
| 67 | But their impact is huge. | 但它们的影响是巨大的。 |
| 68 | We often show our real feelings on our faces without even realizing it | 我们经常在脸上露出真实的感情 甚至没有意识到 |
| 69 | Want to know what someone's really thinking? | 想知道别人在想什么吗? |
| 70 | Don't just listen to their words watch their hands and how they move the thing is we can usually control what we say | 不要只是听他们的言语 看着他们的手和他们如何移动的东西是 我们通常可以控制我们说的话 |
| 71 | But our bodies they totally spill the beans about what's really going on inside | 但是我们的身体,他们完全洒出豆子 关于真正的事情里面 |
| 72 | Sometimes without us even realizing it | 有时我们甚至没有意识到 |
| 73 | Let me tell you a story one time. | 让我告诉你一个故事一次。 |
| 74 | I was in a meeting where someone was giving a presentation | 我当时在开会 有人在演讲 |
| 75 | They sounded super confident and their words were persuasive | 他们听起来很自信,他们的话很有说服力 |
| 76 | But the whole time their hands were hidden under the table right away. | 但一直以来 他们的手都藏在桌子下面 |
| 77 | I thought | 我以为 |
| 78 | They don't seem all that confident in themselves and later on | 他们似乎没有那么自信 自己和以后 |
| 79 | I realized that whenever someone kept their hands out of sight it kind of made the whole room feel uneasy | 我意识到,每当有人 保持他们的手看不见, 它有点使整个房间感觉不安 |
| 80 | I even looked it up and sure enough | 我甚至查过了,很确定 |
| 81 | Psychologists say that seeing someone's hands is closely tied to how trustworthy and confident they come across | 心理学家说,看到一个人的手 与他们如何值得信赖和自信的遭遇紧密相连 |
| 82 | Here are some quick examples | 这里有一些简单的例子 |
| 83 | Open palms show you've got nothing to hide you're being honest and open keeping your hands behind your back or stuffed in your pockets | 张开的手表显示你没什么可隐瞒的 开诚布公 把手放在背后或者塞进口袋里 |
| 84 | That can make people think you might be hiding something | 那会让人觉得你在隐瞒什么 |
| 85 | If you fidget with your hands, it usually means you're feeling super antsy nervous or maybe even a little anxious | 如果你用手乱摸 通常意味着你感到超紧张 甚至有些焦虑 |
| 86 | And if your hands are just totally still that can be a sign you're worried about messing up or losing control | 如果你的手完全没动,那可能是一个迹象 你担心会搞砸或失控 |
| 87 | But it's not just about your hands | 但不只是你的手问题 |
| 88 | Crossing your arms classic don't mess with me move | 穿过你的手臂 经典的不要乱动我 |
| 89 | Leaning in shows you're engaged and really paying attention | 倾斜的显示你订婚了 并真正关注 |
| 90 | But if your shoulders are slumped, you're probably feeling tired bummed out or just not feeling very confident. | 但是如果你的肩膀下垂了, 你可能感到疲惫 懒散或只是不觉得很自信。 |
| 91 | Honestly | 老实说 |
| 92 | Body language is kind of like a road map if you know how to read it | 身体语言有点像一个路线图 如果你知道如何读它 |
| 93 | All the stuff people try to hide with words just pops right out at you | 所有人们试图隐藏的东西 用文字只是弹出的权利你 |
| 94 | So just remember if someone says i'm fine, but their body language is screaming get me out of here | 所以,只要记住,如果有人说我没事, 但他们的身体语言在尖叫把我弄出去 |
| 95 | Trust what their body's telling you | 相信他们的身体会告诉你什么 |
| 96 | You know those folks who get all up in your face when they talk | 你知道那些家伙 谁得到所有的你的脸,当他们说话 |
| 97 | Then there are others who like to keep their distance almost like there's an invisible barrier between you | 还有其他人喜欢保持距离 就像你们之间有一道无形的屏障 |
| 98 | That's not by accident | 这不是偶然的 |
| 99 | How close or how far someone stands says a lot whether it's your first time meeting a job interview | 有多近或有多远的人说了很多 这是你第一次见面面试 |
| 100 | Or just hanging out with friends the space someone keeps between you and them | 或者只是和朋友闲逛 别人在你和他们之间留下的空间 |
| 101 | It usually shows how comfortable they are with you or how close you actually are and honestly | 通常显示他们和你在一起有多舒服 或你有多亲近 |
| 102 | Most people don't even notice how much they're saying just with space | 大多数人甚至不注意到 他们说多少只是空间 |
| 103 | Studies show that the space we keep from other folks actually says a ton about our personalities | 研究表明,我们远离别人的空间 居然说了很多关于我们的个性 |
| 104 | How we feel in different situations and even what our intentions might be for example | 我们在不同情况下的感受 甚至我们的意图 |
| 105 | Someone who stands super close might really be warm and friendly | 站得超近的人可能很温和友善 |
| 106 | But if it feels a little too close for comfort, maybe they just don't know boundaries or maybe they're kind of overbearing | 但是,如果感觉有点太接近 舒适,也许他们只是不知道界限 或者也许他们有点过份 |
| 107 | If someone keeps their distance, maybe they're just shy playing it safe, or maybe they want to show they're the one calling the shots | 如果有人保持距离,也许他们只是害羞 玩安全,或也许他们想显示 他们是谁 打电话 |
| 108 | But here's what really matters | 但这是真正重要的是 |
| 109 | Do they look chill while keeping their distance or are they all tense as they get closer? | 他们保持距离时看起来很冷淡 还是越来越近时很紧张? |
| 110 | Are their shoulders loose or do they look kind of on edge? | 他们的肩膀松了吗? 还是看起来有点紧张? |
| 111 | bottom line | 底线 |
| 112 | Sometimes it's not about how many inches are between us. | 有时我们之间的距离并不重要 |
| 113 | It's more about what's actually going on here | 更多是关于这到底是怎么回事 |
| 114 | If you just pay attention, you'll catch a lot just by noticing the space people put between you | 你只要注意一点,就会发现很多东西,只要注意到 人之间的空间 |
| 115 | Let's talk about first lines | 我们谈谈第一行 |
| 116 | They're pretty much like handing someone your business card when you meet them for the first time your first impression really lasts | 你第一次见到他们时,他们就像把名片交给别人 你第一次印象真的持续了 |
| 117 | Nobody just blurts out the first thing that pops into their head those opening words actually give you a sneak peek into how they think | 没有人只是模糊了 第一件事 弹入他们的头, 这些开口的字实际上 让你偷窥 他们的想法 |
| 118 | What gets them excited and sometimes even show a little bit of their ego think about it | 是什么让他们兴奋,有时甚至表现 一点点的自我思考 |
| 119 | You're meeting someone for the first time and they say i'm pretty good at reading people | 你第一次见一个人 他们说我很会看人 |
| 120 | Immediately you might be thinking all right, this person's confident maybe even a bit too confident | 立刻你可能会觉得没事, 这个人的信心也许甚至有点太自信了 |
| 121 | Or maybe they kick things off with | 也可能他们把事情踢开 |
| 122 | So what do you do? | 那你怎么办? |
| 123 | You seem super easy to talk to and right away you feel like | 你似乎非常容易说话 立刻你觉得 |
| 124 | Okay, this person's friendly polite and knows how to read a room | 好吧,这个人是友好的礼貌 并且知道如何读房间 |
| 125 | Sure, it all sounds simple | 当然 听起来很简单 |
| 126 | But if you pay attention to what's underneath those words | 但是如果你注意那些词下面的内容 |
| 127 | It's a lot easier to figure out how someone sees themselves or how they want you to see them | 要知道别人如何看待自己 或者他们希望你看到自己 |
| 128 | That very first sentence is like a window into who they really are | 第一句就像一扇窗口 进入他们的真实身份 |
| 129 | Some people put all their achievements out there | 有人把他们所有的成就都放在那里 |
| 130 | Some show off their power and others just want to come across as warm kind or unique for example | 有些人炫耀自己的力量,而另一些人则想以温暖的善良或独特的方式相遇。 |
| 131 | I work crazy hours showing off productivity or status weird weather today, right? | 我今天工作的时间很疯狂 显示生产率或状态怪异,对不对? |
| 132 | Hoping to make a social connection | 希望建立社会联系 |
| 133 | Let me explain this maybe they need to stay in control or want to be noticed honestly | 让我解释一下,也许他们需要保持控制 或希望被诚实的注意 |
| 134 | Sometimes just one sentence is all it takes to start sizing someone up | 有时候只用一句话 就可以把别人弄大 |
| 135 | But you can't just listen to the words you've got to hear what's really being said underneath | 但你不能只听这些话 听到下面说的 |
| 136 | Has anyone ever told you i'll text you later, but then you never hear back or i'll shoot you that link | 有没有人告诉你 我以后会给你发短信, 但你再也不能听到回声,否则我就开枪打你 |
| 137 | But it never shows up | 但它从来没有出现过 |
| 138 | Little things like that tell you a ton about a person it's not the big promises that show if someone's reliable | 像这样的小事告诉你 关于一个人的一吨 它不是大的承诺显示 如果某人的可靠 |
| 139 | It's the small stuff | 这是小东西 |
| 140 | Pretty much everyone says i'll help you out or let's hang out sometime | 差不多大家都说我会帮你的 或者我们有空一起玩 |
| 141 | But honestly hardly anybody really follows through | 但老实说,几乎没有人真正遵循 |
| 142 | Here's the deal | 这样吧 |
| 143 | If someone can't even keep a tiny promise they're way more likely to drop the ball when it really matters | 如果有人连一个小小的承诺都守不住的话 当球真的重要的时候 他们更可能掉球 |
| 144 | I call this a mini character test | 我把这叫做迷你人物测试 |
| 145 | You don't need a deep conversation just pay attention if someone says i'll hit you up and then never does | 你不需要深谈,只要注意 如果有人说我会打你 然后永远不要 |
| 146 | It just means you weren't really a priority to them | 就是说你不是他们的首要任务 |
| 147 | That says a lot about who they are | 这说明他们是谁 |
| 148 | Sometimes someone's saying the right words | 有时有人说对话 |
| 149 | But their tone just feels off like their words sound fine, but you just get this feeling | 但是他们的语气就像他们的言语听起来不错 但你只是觉得 |
| 150 | Something's not adding up most of the time that missing piece is all in their tone of voice | 少了的那段话 大部分时间都是在语音上 |
| 151 | Your tone isn't just about giving info it shows how you really feel | 你的语气不只是给信息 它显示你真正的感受 |
| 152 | Experts say your tone actually packs way more emotion than the actual words | 专家说,你的语气实际上 包了更多的情绪 比实际的词 |
| 153 | for example | 举例来说, |
| 154 | If someone speaks loudly and quickly they might seem dominant | 如果有人大声和快速地说话,他们可能会显得占优势 |
| 155 | Intense or maybe even a little anxious if someone talks softly and slowly | 如果有人轻轻地说话,会很紧张,甚至有些焦虑 |
| 156 | It can mean they're shy or not very confident a person who speaks in a monotone probably has trouble expressing emotions | 意思是他们很害羞或不自信 一个用单调说话的人 可能很难表达情感 |
| 157 | Or just wants to keep things under control, but if their voice keeps going up and down | 或只是想控制一切 但如果他们的声音不断上下 |
| 158 | They might be more emotional empathetic or sometimes just a bit unpredictable also watch how they talk | 他们可能更情绪化 或有时只是有点不可预测 也看着他们说话的方式 |
| 159 | If someone suddenly slows down right after you ask something | 如果有人问你问题后突然减速 |
| 160 | Maybe they're looking for the right words or just being careful, but if they start speeding up | 也许他们在找正确的词 或者只是小心,但如果他们开始加速 |
| 161 | Maybe they're trying to change the subject or just rush you along bottom line | 也许他们想改变话题 或者只是催你走底线 |
| 162 | Someone's voice is like a window to what's really going on inside if you really learn to listen | 有人的声音就像一个窗口 里面真的发生了什么 如果你真的学会听 |
| 163 | You'll catch a lot more than just their words | 你会得到很多 不只是他们的话 |
| 164 | Want to test someone's character? | 要测试某人的性格吗? |
| 165 | Don't just watch how they act around their boss or people who can do something for them | 别光是看着他们跟老板或者帮他们的人 |
| 166 | The real test is how they treat people who can't do anything for them | 真正的考验是,他们如何对待 无法为他们做任何事情的人 |
| 167 | Think about servers janitors call center reps or anyone who often gets brushed off as unimportant | 想想服务器清洁工给中心代表打电话 或是经常被刷掉的人 |
| 168 | If someone's rude to these people snaps at them or acts like they don't even exist you can spot it right away | 如果有人对这些人不礼貌 或者表现得像他们根本不存在一样 你可以马上发现 |
| 169 | That's someone I don't want to get too close to because empathy isn't real empathy | 我不想太接近他 因为同情不是真正的同情 |
| 170 | If you only show it to people who can benefit you | 如果你只给能帮你的人看 |
| 171 | In that case, it's just a strategy what really matters is character not strategy | 这样的话,那只是一个策略,真正重要的是性格而不是策略 |
| 172 | One of my favorite little observation tricks is this | 我最喜欢的一个小观察技巧是这个 |
| 173 | Whenever I meet someone new I watch how they treat the people around them | 每次我遇到新人 我就看着他们如何对待周围的人 |
| 174 | Especially those in job society might overlook but that play a crucial role. | 特别是就业社会中的人可能被忽视,但这起着关键作用。 |
| 175 | Do they say thank you | 他们说谢谢你吗? |
| 176 | Do they make eye contact? | 他们有眼睛接触吗? |
| 177 | Or are they just focused on themselves? | 还是他们只是专注于自己? |
| 178 | Remember true character shows itself when people don't feel pressured to put on a show | 记住真正的性格 表现自己 当人们不觉得压力 设置一个节目 |
| 179 | Noticing this gives you an edge over most people | 标注这一点,让你 比大多数人的优势 |
| 180 | Sometimes you give someone just a bit of feedback. | 有时候你给人一点反馈 |
| 181 | Maybe you suggest could you try rephrasing that sentence? | 也许你建议你试着重写这句话? |
| 182 | Suddenly they get red in the face their eyes go wide and their voice gets louder | 他们的脸突然红了 眼睛睁大了 声音也大了 |
| 183 | So you didn't like it, huh? | 所以你不喜欢吗? |
| 184 | As if you just insulted them. | 好像你侮辱了他们一样 |
| 185 | That's when you see it | 当你看到的时候 |
| 186 | Defensiveness if someone sees every bit of criticism as a personal attack | 如果有人把每一点批评都看作个人攻击,那么防御性就更好了 |
| 187 | Odds are they've got some confidence issues. | 奇怪的是他们有些信心问题 |
| 188 | They haven't dealt with yet to them | 他们还没处理好呢 |
| 189 | Any feedback feels like an attack on who they are | 任何反馈都像是攻击他们 |
| 190 | You don't need elaborate tests to figure out someone's character | 你不需要经过精心的测试 才能知道别人的性格 |
| 191 | Just gently make a suggestion share your opinion or let them know you disagree | 轻轻地建议大家分享意见 或让他们知道你不同意 |
| 192 | If they get defensive snap get sarcastic or call you too sensitive | 如果他们有防守性突袭 就会讽刺或叫你太敏感 |
| 193 | There's a wall there and most of the time what's hiding behind it is pride fear or low self-esteem | 那里有一堵墙, 大部分时候隐藏在墙后面的是骄傲的恐惧或低自尊 |
| 194 | But some people are different | 但有些人是不一样的 |
| 195 | They thank you ask for your perspective and really reflect on it. | 他们感谢你要求 你的观点 并真正思考它。 |
| 196 | Even if they disagree they listen people like this | 就算他们不同意 也听别人这样说话 |
| 197 | Have high emotional intelligence and a real desire to grow and that difference usually shows itself in a small moment | 拥有高超的情感智慧和成长的真正愿望 这种差异通常在很小的瞬间显现出来 |
| 198 | Just in how they react | 他们的反应 |
| 199 | remember | 记住 |
| 200 | People who think they're strong react by raising their voices people who are actually strong pause | 认为自己很强的人会通过提高自己的声音 来反应 他们的声音其实很强的暂停 |
| 201 | Reflect and respond in a calm thoughtful way | 冷静地思考和回应 |
| 202 | How a conversation ends says just as much as how it starts | 谈话的结局跟开始一样 |
| 203 | Not everyone notices but a keen observer will spot this right away | 不是每个人都注意到了,但一个热心的观察者 会立刻发现这个 |
| 204 | Some people just disappear in the middle of a convo poof. | 一些人只是消失 在中间一个循环poof。 |
| 205 | No. | 没有 |
| 206 | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| 207 | No catch you later | 待会再打给你 |
| 208 | It's like they just accidentally dropped out of a zoom call | 就像他们不小心从缩放电话中掉下来 |
| 209 | Others dragged the goodbye out forever | 其他人永远拖着告别 |
| 210 | Wait, just one more thing and suddenly the conversation never ends | 等等,还有一件事 突然间,谈话就无止境了 |
| 211 | That can be a sign of indecisiveness or a big need for approval. | 这可能表示犹豫不决,或非常需要批准。 |
| 212 | But the best people | 不过最好的人 |
| 213 | They end the conversation naturally with a simple smile. | 他们以简单的微笑自然结束谈话. |
| 214 | They say great talking to you catch you later | 他们说,伟大的谈话你以后抓住你。 |
| 215 | Not too much not too little most of the time people like this have great social awareness | 没有太多,没有太少 在大多数情况下,像这样的人 有伟大的社会意识 |
| 216 | Because the feeling you leave people with at the end of a conversation really matters | 因为你在谈话结束时 留下的感觉真的很重要 |
| 217 | Sometimes that last impression sticks more than the first the way someone says goodbye says a lot about their self-confidence | 有时候,最后的印象比第一个更坚定 有人说再见的方式 很多关于他们的自信 |
| 218 | Their relationship skills their basic courtesy and how well they read the room bottom line | 他们的关系技巧 他们的基本礼遇 以及他们如何阅读房间底线 |
| 219 | How someone leaves is just as important as how they show up | 一个人怎么离开 和他们怎么出现一样重要 |
| 220 | So far we've covered eye contact micro expressions body language and tone of voice | 到目前为止,我们已经覆盖了眼睛接触 微表情 身体语言和声调 |
| 221 | But here's something really cool | 但这里有件很酷的事 |
| 222 | How does your brain pull all this info together so quickly? | 你的大脑怎么这么快就把这些信息汇集在一起? |
| 223 | I mean usually it takes hours to truly get to know someone, right? | 我的意思是,通常它需要数小时 真正得到认识的人,对不对? |
| 224 | But sometimes you just get a gut feeling in a few seconds. | 但有时你只是得到 直觉在几秒钟。 |
| 225 | That's where a pretty amazing psychology idea comes in | 这就是一个非常惊人的心理学想法的出现之处 |
| 226 | It's called thin slicing | 这叫做薄切片 |
| 227 | 其实我第一次听到这个 在Malcolm Gladwell的书眨眼 | |
| 228 | Gladwell说是这样的 | |
| 229 | The human brain can draw conclusions from just a few seconds impressions that are as accurate as hours of analysis | 人类大脑只能从几秒钟的印象中得出结论,这些印象与分析时数一样准确. |
| 230 | Honestly, we do this without even thinking about it | 老实说,我们不考虑就这样做 |
| 231 | We analyze how someone looks at us their eye contact their tone of voice their body language | 我们分析人们如何看待我们 他们的眼睛接触他们的语气 他们的肢体语言 |
| 232 | Even the very first thing they say all in just a couple of seconds and when all these signals come together | 哪怕是一秒钟之内,当这些信号集合起来时,他们就会说出第一句话 |
| 233 | Your brain will instantly send you messages like | 你的大脑会立刻发出你的信息 |
| 234 | I can totally trust this person. | 我可以完全相信这个人。 |
| 235 | Hmm. | 是吗? |
| 236 | This person might be playing games with me. | 这个人可能在跟我玩游戏 |
| 237 | I feel good around them | 周围感觉很好 |
| 238 | Maybe I should be careful with this person | 也许我该小心这个人 |
| 239 | Everything we just talked about eye contact quick facial expressions little gestures | 我们刚刚谈的关于眼睛接触的 快速面部表情 |
| 240 | How close someone stands to you and the way they speak all of that is part of this process | 人对你有多亲近 和他们说话的方式 这些都是这个过程的一部分 |
| 241 | Thin slicing is kind of like having a high-speed engine in your head | 细细的切片就像你脑袋里有高速引擎一样 |
| 242 | It pulls together all these little clues and bam | 它汇集了所有这些小线索和bum |
| 243 | There's your first impression now, of course | 现在当然是你的第一印象 |
| 244 | Sometimes this whole system can throw us off quick decisions can get messed up by our old experiences or even our own biases | 有时候整个系统会把我们抛在脑后... ...会因为旧经验,甚至我们自己的偏见而搞砸 |
| 245 | But when you use this skill the right way | 但当你用这种技巧的方式 |
| 246 | It's honestly like having a superpower bottom line | 老实说 就像拥有超能力底线 |
| 247 | If you start paying attention on purpose, you can actually steer these snap judgments | 如果你开始专注,你可以 指导这些快速判断 |
| 248 | Your brain is making and really sharpen up your gut instincts | 你的大脑正在做 并真正磨炼 你的直觉 |
| 249 | Sometimes it takes hours days or even months to really get to know someone | 有时要花几个小时甚至几个月才能真正认识一个人 |
| 250 | But other times your brain just wants to figure it out in 10 seconds | 但有时你的大脑只想在10秒内找出来 |
| 251 | That's because our instincts are all about making quick calls when we need to | 那是因为我们的本能 就是要在需要的时候迅速打电话 |
| 252 | When your brain is making these snap decisions, it's picking up on eye contact tone of voice quick facial expressions and body language | 当你的大脑做出这些快速的决定时, 它会从视觉接触的语气 声音快速的面部表情和身体语言。 |
| 253 | Now that you know about all these signals next time you meet someone don't just listen to what's coming out of their mouth | 现在你知道这些信号了 下次你见到别人时 不只是听他们嘴里说的东西 |
| 254 | Watch how they look at you where they're standing and how close they get | 看他们怎么看你 他们站在哪里, 他们得到多近 |
| 255 | That way you'll be one of those people who picks up on the little stuff and you'll always be a step ahead | 那样你就会成为那些拿小东西的人之一 你永远是领先一步 |
| 256 | But here's the thing | 但问题是 |
| 257 | This isn't about just slapping labels on people. | 不只是拍打别人的标签 |
| 258 | It's about understanding them a bit better | 就是要多了解他们一点 |
| 259 | So don't jump to the conclusion that someone's lying just because they look away | 所以,不要跳到结论 有人撒谎 只是因为他们看不见 |
| 260 | Maybe they're nervous. | 也许他们很紧张 |
| 261 | Maybe they're just shy | 也许他们只是害羞 |
| 262 | real understanding | 真正的理解 |
| 263 | That takes time. | 这需要时间。 |
| 264 | These tricks just give you the first clues | 这些把戏只是给你第一个线索 |
| 265 | But to actually get to know someone you've got to spend more time and pay attention | 但为了真正了解一个人 你不得不花更多的时间 并关注 |
| 266 | Just remember | 记住 |
| 267 | Making quick calls is useful but real connections take patience | 快速通话是有用的 但真正的联系需要耐心 |
| 268 | Everything i've shared here is just a tool kit to help you build your intuition muscle | 我在这里分享的一切 只是工具箱 帮助你建立你的直觉肌肉 |
| 269 | The more you put it into practice the better you'll get at communicating | 越是练习,交流就越好 |
| 270 | Honestly, I could talk about this kind of stuff all day | 老实说,我可以整天谈这种事 |
| 271 | But since this video is turning out kind of long, I think it makes sense to wrap it up for now | 但既然这段录像长了点 我觉得现在把它收起来很合理 |
| 272 | I'll figure out what to dive into next based on your questions and feedback | 我会根据你的问题和反馈 找出下一步要潜入什么 |
| 273 | I'm really not out here just chasing likes or trying to get attention | 我真的不在这里 只是追逐喜欢或试图引起注意 |
| 274 | But hey if this video actually helped you drop a like or leave a comment | 但是,嘿嘿,如果这个视频 真正帮助你放弃类似或留下一个评论 |
| 275 | That's plenty for me. | 这对我来说是足够的。 |
| 276 | It just helps me know if I should keep making stuff like this | 它只是帮助我知道 如果我应该继续做这样的东西 |
| 277 | And if you want to see more videos, don't forget to hit that subscribe button | 如果你想看到更多的视频, 不要忘记点击订阅按钮 |
| 278 | Believe it or not around 70 percent of people watching are still not subscribed | 信不信由你 大约70%的观众 仍然没有订阅 |
| 279 | and lastly | 最后一点 |
| 280 | Let me know down in the comments. | 在评论中告诉我。 |
| 281 | What's the first thing you notice when you meet someone new? | 当你遇到新人时第一件事是什么? |
| 282 | So | 这么说 |
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