拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】
共 3 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 中英双语 | 16:06 |
| P2 | 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 英文字幕(中文外 | 16:06 |
| P3 | 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 无字幕(英文外挂 | 16:06 |
P1 · 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:02 | So, I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 因此,如果可以的话,我想先问你一些问题。 |
| 0:06 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 0:10 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 0:12 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 0:16 | or been the victim of infidelity, | 或作不义的牺牲者, |
| 0:18 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 0:20 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 0:22 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 0:24 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 0:29 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
展开字幕全文（264 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | So, I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 因此,如果可以的话,我想先问你一些问题。 |
| 2 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 3 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 4 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 5 | or been the victim of infidelity, | 或作不义的牺牲者, |
| 6 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 7 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 8 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 9 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 10 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
| 11 | been bullied or been made redundant, | 被欺负或变得多余, |
| 12 | stand on up. | 站起来。 |
| 13 | If you've ever had a miscarriage, | 如果你曾经流产, |
| 14 | if you've ever had an abortion, | 如果你曾经堕胎, |
| 15 | or struggled through infertility, | 或因不育而挣扎, |
| 16 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 17 | Finally, if you or anyone you love | 最后,如果你或你爱的人 |
| 18 | has had to cope with mental illness, | 不得不面对精神疾病, |
| 19 | dementia, some form of physical impairment, | 痴呆症 某种形式的身体障碍 |
| 20 | or cope with suicide, | 或面对自杀, |
| 21 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 22 | Look around you. | 看看你周围 |
| 23 | Adversity doesn't discriminate. | 逆顺不分别. |
| 24 | If you are alive, you are going to have to, | 如果你还活着, 你必须, |
| 25 | or you've already had to, | 或者你已经不得不 |
| 26 | deal with some tough times. | 面对一些艰难的时期。 |
| 27 | Thank you, everyone. | 谢谢大家 |
| 28 | Take a seat. | 请坐 |
| 29 | I started studying resilience research a decade ago | 十年前我开始研究适应力 |
| 30 | at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. | 在费城宾夕法尼亚大学 |
| 31 | It was an amazing time to be there, | 这是一个惊人的时间 在那里, |
| 32 | because the professors who trained me | 因为训练我的教授 |
| 33 | had just picked up the contract to train | 刚拿到训练合同 |
| 34 | all 1.1 million American soldiers | 所有110万美国士兵 |
| 35 | to be as mentally fit | 保持精神健全 |
| 36 | as they always have been physically fit. | 因为他们一直身体健全 |
| 37 | As you can imagine, you don't get | 你可以想象,你没有得到 |
| 38 | a much more skeptical, discerning audience | 更怀疑的观众 |
| 39 | than the American drill sergeants | 比美国钻探中士 |
| 40 | returning from Afghanistan. | 从阿富汗返回。 |
| 41 | So for someone like me, whose main quest in life | 对我这样的人来说 人生的主要追求 |
| 42 | is trying to work out how we take | 正在研究我们如何应对 |
| 43 | the best of scientific findings out of academia | 学术界的最佳科学发现 |
| 44 | and bring them to people in their everyday lives, | 在他们的日常生活中, |
| 45 | it was a pretty inspiring place to be. | 这是一个相当鼓舞人心的地方。 |
| 46 | I finished my studies in America, | 我在美国完成了学业 |
| 47 | and I returned home here to Christchurch | 我回到了这里 基督教堂 |
| 48 | to start my doctoral research. | 开始我的博士研究 |
| 49 | I'd just begun that study | 我刚刚开始研究 |
| 50 | when the Christchurch earthquakes hit. | 当克赖斯特彻奇地震发生时 |
| 51 | So I put my research on hold, | 所以我把研究搁置了 |
| 52 | and I started working with my home community | 我开始和我的家乡社区合作 |
| 53 | to help them through that terrible post-quake period. | 帮助他们度过那可怕的震后时期。 |
| 54 | I worked with all sorts of organizations | 我和各种组织合作过 |
| 55 | from government departments to building companies | 从政府部门到建筑公司 |
| 56 | and all sorts of community groups, | 以及各种社区团体, |
| 57 | teaching them the ways of thinking and acting | 教他们思考和行为的方式 |
| 58 | that we know boost resilience. | 我们知道可以增强韧性。 |
| 59 | I thought that was my calling, | 我以为那是我的决定 |
| 60 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我该好好利用这些研究 | |
| 61 | but sadly, I was wrong. | 但不幸的是 我错了 |
| 62 | So my own true test came in 2014 | 所以我在2014年做了真正的测试 |
| 63 | on Queen's birthday weekend. | 在女王的生日周末。 |
| 64 | We and two other families had decided | 我们和另外两个家庭决定 |
| 65 | to go down to Lake Ohau | 去奥豪湖 |
| 66 | and bike the Alps to Ocean. | 骑着阿尔卑斯山去海洋 |
| 67 | At the last minute, | 在最后一分钟, |
| 68 | my beautiful 12-year-old daughter, Abby, | 我美丽的12岁的女儿 艾比 |
| 69 | decided to hop in the car | 决定跳上车 |
| 70 | with her best friend, Ella, also 12, | 和她最好的朋友艾拉 还有12个 |
| 71 | and Ella's mum, Sally, a dear, dear friend of mine. | 还有艾拉的妈妈,莎莉,我亲爱的朋友 |
| 72 | On the way down, | 下来的路上, |
| 73 | as they traveled through Rakiah on Thompson's track, | 当他们在汤普森的赛道上穿越拉基亚时, |
| 74 | a car sped through a stop sign, | 一辆汽车通过停车标志 |
| 75 | crashing into them | 撞上他们 |
| 76 | and killing all three of them instantly. | 并立即杀死他们三人。 |
| 77 | In the blink of an eye, | 一眨眼间 |
| 78 | I find myself flung to the other side of the equation, | 我发现自己在方程式的另一边, |
| 79 | waking up with a whole new identity. | 醒来有了全新的身份。 |
| 80 | Instead of being the resilience expert, | 而不是作为抗御能力专家, |
| 81 | suddenly I'm the grieving mother, | 突然间我成了悲痛的母亲 |
| 82 | waking up not knowing who I am, | 醒来时不知道我是谁 |
| 83 | trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news, | 试图把我的头包在 不可思议的消息, |
| 84 | my world smashed to smithereens. | 我的世界崩溃了 |
| 85 | Suddenly I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice, | 突然间我成了专家建议的最后一位 |
| 86 | and I can tell you, | 我可以告诉你, |
| 87 | I didn't like what I heard one little bit. | 我不喜欢我听到的一点。 |
| 88 | In the days after Abby died, | 在艾比死后的日子里, |
| 89 | we were told we were now prime candidates | 我们被告知,我们现在是主要候选人 |
| 90 | for family estrangement, | 因为家人的离散, |
| 91 | that we were likely to get divorced | 我们很可能离婚 |
| 92 | and we were at high risk of mental illness. | 我们有很高的精神病风险。 |
| 93 | Wow, I remember thinking, thanks for that, | 哇,我记得在想,谢谢你 |
| 94 | I thought my life was already pretty shit. | 我以为我的生活已经很糟了 |
| 95 | Leaflets described the five stages of grief, | 传单描述了悲伤的五个阶段, |
| 96 | anger, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance. | 愤怒,讨价还价,否认,抑郁,接受。 |
| 97 | Victim support arrived at our door | 受害者援助到了我们门口 |
| 98 | and told us that we could expect to write off | 并告诉我们 我们可以期待注销 |
| 99 | the next five years to grief. | 未来五年的悲伤 |
| 100 | I know the leaflets and the resources meant well, | 我知道传单和资料的用意 |
| 101 | but in all of that advice, | 但所有这些建议 |
| 102 | they left us feeling like victims, | 他们让我们觉得自己是受害者 |
| 103 | totally overwhelmed by the journey ahead | 完全被前方的旅程所淹没 |
| 104 | and powerless to exert any influence | 无法施加任何影响 |
| 105 | over our grieving whatsoever. | 以我们的哀伤为代价。 |
| 106 | I didn't need to be told how bad things were. | 我不需要别人告诉我事情有多糟 |
| 107 | Believe me, I already knew things were truly terrible. | 相信我,我已经知道 事情是真正可怕的。 |
| 108 | What I needed most was hope. | и程惠璶琌辨 |
| 109 | I needed a journey through all that anguish, | 我需要一段经历这些痛苦的旅程, |
| 110 | pain and longing. | 痛苦和渴望。 |
| 111 | Most of all, I wanted to be an active participant | 最重要的是,我想成为一个积极的参与者 |
| 112 | in my grief process. | 在我悲伤的过程中 |
| 113 | So I decided to turn my back on their advice | 所以我决定背弃他们的建议 |
| 114 | and decided instead to conduct something | 却决定做点什么 |
| 115 | of a self-experiment. | 自我体验 |
| 116 | I'd done the research, I had the tools, | 我已经做了研究,我有工具, |
| 117 | I wanted to know how useful they would be to me now | 我想知道他们现在对我有多有用 |
| 118 | in the face of such an enormous mountain to climb. | 面对如此浩瀚的山峰 |
| 119 | Now I have to confess at this point, | 现在我必须承认这一点, |
| 120 | I didn't really know any of this was going to work. | 我真的不知道 这一切会成功。 |
| 121 | Parental bereavement is widely acknowledged | 父母丧葬被广泛承认 |
| 122 | as the hardest of losses to bear. | 作为最难承受的损失。 |
| 123 | But I can tell you now, five years on, | 但我可以告诉你,五年过去了, |
| 124 | what I already knew from the research, | 我从研究中知道的 |
| 125 | that you can rise up from adversity, | 以便你们脱离厄运, |
| 126 | that there are strategies that work, | 有些策略是可行的, |
| 127 | that it is utterly possible to make yourself | 完全有可能让自己 |
| 128 | think and act in certain ways | 以某种方式思考和行动 |
| 129 | that help you navigate tough times. | 帮助你度过艰难的时光 |
| 130 | There is a monumental body of research | 有很多研究成果 |
| 131 | on how to do this stuff. | 如何做到这一点。 |
| 132 | Today I'm just going to share with you three strategies. | 今天我要跟你们分享三个策略 |
| 133 | These are my go-to strategies that I relied upon | 这些是我依靠的策略 |
| 134 | and saved me in my darkest days. | 并在我最黑暗的日子里救了我 |
| 135 | They're three strategies that underpin all of my work | 三个策略是我全部工作的基础 |
| 136 | and they're pretty readily available to us all. | 而且我们所有人都可以随时使用 |
| 137 | Anyone can learn them, you can learn them right here today. | 任何人都可以学习他们, 你可以在这里学习他们今天。 |
| 138 | So number one, resilient people get that shit happens. | 所以,第一,有弹性的人 得到狗屎发生。 |
| 139 | They know that suffering is part of life. | 他们知道痛苦是生活的一部分。 |
| 140 | This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in, | 这并不意味着他们真的欢迎它, |
| 141 | they're not actually delusional, | 他们实际上不是妄想症, |
| 142 | just that when the tough times come, | 当困难时刻来临时, |
| 143 | they seem to know that suffering is part of every human existence. | 他们似乎知道痛苦是人类生存的一部分。 |
| 144 | And knowing this stops you from feeling discriminated against | 知道这让你不再觉得受到歧视 |
| 145 | when the tough times come. | 当艰难时刻来临时 |
| 146 | Never once did I find myself thinking, why me? | 我从来没有想过为什么是我? |
| 147 | In fact, I remember thinking, why not me? | 事实上,我记得我想,为什么不是我? |
| 148 | Terrible things happen to you just like they do everybody else. | 可怕的事情发生在你身上 就像他们做的其他人。 |
| 149 | That's your life now, time to sink or swim. | 这就是你现在的生活, 该沉没或游泳。 |
| 150 | The real tragedy is that not enough of us seem to know this any longer. | 真正的悲剧是,我们似乎不再了解这一点。 |
| 151 | We seem to live in an age where we're entitled to a perfect life, | 我们似乎生活在一个我们有权过上完美生活的时代, |
| 152 | where shiny happy photos on Instagram are the norm. | 在Instagram上闪亮的快乐照片是规范的. |
| 153 | When actually, as you all demonstrated at the start of my talk, | 实际上,你们在我演讲开始时 都表明, |
| 154 | the very opposite is true. | 事实恰恰相反。 |
| 155 | Number two, resilient people are really good at choosing carefully | 第二,有耐力的人很会选 |
| 156 | where they select their attention. | 他们选择他们的注意力。 |
| 157 | They have a habit of realistically appraising situations | 他们习惯于现实地评估情况 |
| 158 | and typically managing to focus on the things that they can change | 并且通常会专注于他们可以改变的东西 |
| 159 | and somehow accept the things that they can't. | 接受他们无法接受的东西 |
| 160 | This is a vital, learnable skill for resilience. | 这是一种至关重要、可学习的复原力技能。 |
| 161 | As humans, we are really good at noticing threats and weaknesses. | 作为人类,我们非常善于注意威胁和弱点。 |
| 162 | We are hardwired for that negative. | 我们为这个负数而努力。 |
| 163 | We're really, really good at noticing them. | 我们真的很擅长注意他们 |
| 164 | Negative emotions stick to us like Velcro, | 负面情绪像Velcro一样坚持我们 |
| 165 | whereas positive emotions and experiences seem to bounce off like Teflon. | 而积极的情感和经验似乎像特弗隆一样反弹. |
| 166 | Being wired in this way is actually really good for us | 这样被窃听对我们来说真的很好 |
| 167 | and served us well from an evolutionary perspective. | 并且从进化的角度为我们提供了很好的服务。 |
| 168 | So imagine for a moment I'm a cavewoman | 想象一下我是个洞穴女郎 |
| 169 | and I'm coming out of my cave in the morning | 我早上从洞穴里出来 |
| 170 | and there's a saber-toothed tiger on one side | 一边是剑齿虎 |
| 171 | and a beautiful rainbow on the other. | 和美丽的彩虹, |
| 172 | It kind of pays for my survival for me to notice this tiger. | 看着这只老虎让我活下来 |
| 173 | The problem is we now live in an era | 问题是我们现在生活在一个时代 |
| 174 | where we are constantly bombarded by threats all day long, | 在那里,我们一天到晚遭受威胁, |
| 175 | and our poor brains treat every single one of those threats | 而我们可怜的大脑 治疗每一个这些威胁 |
| 176 | as though they were a tiger. | 像是一只老虎一样 |
| 177 | Our threat focus, our stress response, is permanently dialed up. | 我们的威胁焦点, 我们的压力反应, 被永久地拨打。 |
| 178 | Resilient people don't diminish the negative, | 坚韧的人不会减少负数, |
| 179 | but they also have worked out a way of tuning into the good. | 但他们也想出了一种方法 调和好。 |
| 180 | One day, when doubts were threatening to overwhelm me, | 有一天 当怀疑威胁着我时 |
| 181 | I distinctly remember thinking, | 我清楚地记得在想 |
| 182 | no, you do not get to get swallowed up by this. | 不,你不会被这个吞噬。 |
| 183 | You have to survive. | 你必须活下去。 |
| 184 | You've got so much to live for. | 汝诸众生得无量寿佛. |
| 185 | Choose life, not death. | 选择生命,而不是死亡。 |
| 186 | Don't lose what you have to what you have lost. | 不要失去你所拥有的一切 |
| 187 | In psychology, we call this benefit-finding. | 在心理学方面,我们称之为“利益调查”。 |
| 188 | In my brave new world, it involved trying to find things to be grateful for. | 在我勇敢的新世界里,它涉及到 寻找值得感激的东西。 |
| 189 | At least our wee girl hadn't died of some terrible, long, drawn-out illness. | 至少我们的小姑娘没有死于 一些可怕的,长期的,劳累的疾病。 |
| 190 | She died suddenly, instantly, sparing us and her that pain. | 她突然去世,当场就死了, 省下我们和她的痛苦。 |
| 191 | We had a huge amount of social support from family and friends to help us through, | 我们得到了大量的社会支持 从家庭和朋友帮助我们度过, |
| 192 | and most of all, we still had two beautiful boys to live for | 最重要的是,我们还有两个漂亮的男孩要活下去 |
| 193 | who needed us now and deserve to have as normal a life as we could possibly give them. | 他们现在需要我们 并且应该过上我们可能给他们的正常生活 |
| 194 | Being able to switch the focus of your attention to also include the good | 能够把注意力的焦点转移到包括好 |
| 195 | has been shown by science to be a really powerful strategy. | 科学证明这是一个非常强大的策略。 |
| 196 | So in 2005, Marty Seligman and colleagues conducted an experiment, | 因此在2005年,Marty Seligman和同事进行了一项实验, |
| 197 | and they asked people, all they asked people to do | 他们问别人, 他们要求别人做什么 |
| 198 | was think of three good things that had happened to them each day. | 想到了每天发生的三件好事 |
| 199 | What they found over the six months course of this study | 他们在这六个月的研究中发现了什么 |
| 200 | was that those people showed higher levels of gratitude, higher levels of happiness, | 那些人表现出了更高的感恩程度, 更高的幸福程度, |
| 201 | and less depression over the course of the six months study. | 在六个月的研究中 抑郁症会减少 |
| 202 | When you're going through grief, you might need a reminder, | 当你经历悲伤的时候,你可能需要提醒, |
| 203 | or you might need permission to feel grateful. | 或者你可能需要许可才能感恩 |
| 204 | In our kitchen, we've got a bright pink neon poster | 在我们的厨房里,我们有一个明亮的粉红霓虹灯海报 |
| 205 | that reminds us to accept the good. | 这提醒我们接受好处。 |
| 206 | In the American army, they framed it a little bit differently. | 在美国军队中,他们将其设定得有点不同. |
| 207 | They talked to the army about hunting the good stuff. | 他们和军队谈过猎杀好东西的事 |
| 208 | Find the language that works for you, but whatever you do, | 找到对你有用的语言 但无论你做什么 |
| 209 | make an intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into what's good in your world. | 做一个有意识的, 蓄意的,持续的努力 调和什么是好的 在你的世界。 |
| 210 | Number three, resilient people ask themselves, | 第三,有弹性的人问自己, |
| 211 | is what I'm doing helping or harming me? | 我是在帮助还是伤害我? |
| 212 | This is a question that's used a lot in good therapy, and boy, is it powerful. | 这个问题在良好的治疗中用了很多, 男孩,它很强大。 |
| 213 | This was my go-to question in the days after the girls died. | 这是我在女孩们死后 问的问题 |
| 214 | I would ask it again and again. | 我会问一遍又一遍。 |
| 215 | Should I go to the trial and see the driver? | 我该去法庭看看司机吗? |
| 216 | Would that help me, or would it harm me? | 会帮我,还是会伤害我? |
| 217 | Well, that was a no-brainer for me. | 那对我来说是无脑的 |
| 218 | I chose to stay away, but Trevor, my husband, | 我选择远离,但特雷弗,我丈夫, |
| 219 | decided to meet with the driver at a later time. | 决定稍后会见司机。 |
| 220 | Late at night, I'd find myself sometimes pouring over old photos of Abby, | 深夜,我发现自己有时会倒在 艾比的旧照片上 |
| 221 | getting more and more upset. | 越来越烦恼。 |
| 222 | I'd ask myself, really? | 我会问自己,真的吗? |
| 223 | Is this helping you, or is it harming you? | 这是帮助你 还是伤害你? |
| 224 | Put away the photos, go to bed for the night, be kind to yourself. | 把照片收起来 上床睡觉过夜 对自己好一点 |
| 225 | This question can be applied to so many different contexts. | 这个问题可以适用于如此之多的不同背景。 |
| 226 | Is the way I'm thinking and acting helping or harming you | 我的想法和行为 帮助或伤害你 |
| 227 | in your bid to get that promotion, to pass that exam, | 在你争取升职, 通过考试, |
| 228 | to recover from a heart attack, so many different ways? | 从心脏病发作中恢复过来, 这么多不同的方式? |
| 229 | I write a lot about resilience, and over the years, | 我写了很多关于韧性, 多年来, |
| 230 | this one strategy has prompted more positive feedback than any other. | 这一战略比任何其他战略都得到了更多的积极反馈。 |
| 231 | I get scores of letters and emails and things from all over the place | 到处都收到很多信件和邮件 |
| 232 | of people saying what a huge impact it's had on their lives, | 人们说它对他们的生活产生了巨大的影响, |
| 233 | whether it is forgiving family, ancient transgressions, | 或赦宥眷属、古老的罪过, |
| 234 | arguments from Christmases past, | 过去圣诞节的争论, |
| 235 | or whether it is just trawling through social media, | 或者只是通过社交媒体拖网 |
| 236 | whether it is asking yourself whether you really need that extra glass of wine. | 你是否真的需要这杯酒? |
| 237 | Asking yourself whether what you're doing, the way you're thinking, | 问自己你在做什么,你的想法, |
| 238 | the way you're acting, is helping or harming you | 你的行为方式 帮助或伤害你 |
| 239 | puts you back in the driver's seat. | 让你回到驾驶座上 |
| 240 | It gives you some control over your decision-making. | 这让你能控制自己的决策 |
| 241 | Three strategies, pretty simple. | 三个策略,很简单。 |
| 242 | They're readily available to us all, anytime, anywhere. | 我们随时随地都可以买到 |
| 243 | They don't require rocket science. | 他们不需要火箭科学 |
| 244 | Resilience isn't some fixed trait. | 韧性不是固定的特质 |
| 245 | It's not elusive that some people have and some people don't. | 有些人有,有些人没有,这并非不可捉摸。 |
| 246 | It actually requires very ordinary processes, | 这实际上需要非常普通的程序, |
| 247 | just the willingness to give them a go. | 只是愿意给他们一个机会。 |
| 248 | I think we all have moments in life where our life path splits, | 我想我们人生中都有分道扬镳的时刻 |
| 249 | and the journey we thought we were going down | 和我们以为要下去的旅程 |
| 250 | takes some terrible veers off to some terrible direction | 带一些可怕的车去一些可怕的方向 |
| 251 | that we never anticipated and we certainly didn't want. | 我们从来没有预料到,我们当然不希望。 |
| 252 | It happened to me. | 这发生在我身上。 |
| 253 | It was awful beyond imagining. | 简直是无法想象 |
| 254 | If you ever find yourselves in a situation where you think, | 如果你发现自己处于你认为的境地 |
| 255 | there's no way I'm coming back from this, | 我再也回不来了 |
| 256 | I urge you to lean into these strategies and think again. | 我敦促你们重新思考这些策略。 |
| 257 | I won't pretend that thinking this way is easy, | 我不会假装这样想很容易 |
| 258 | and it doesn't remove all the pain. | 它不会消除所有的疼痛 |
| 259 | But if I've learned anything over the last five years, | 但如果我在过去5年学到了什么 |
| 260 | it is that thinking this way really does help. | 这样做真的有用 |
| 261 | More than anything, it has shown me that it is possible | 比什么都重要,它告诉我,这是可能的 |
| 262 | to live and grieve at the same time. | 生活和悲伤同时。 |
| 263 | And for that, I will be always grateful. | 为此,我将永远感激。 |
| 264 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
该视频共有字幕 264 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(中文外挂) (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:02 | So, I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 因此,如果可以的话,我想先问你一些问题。 |
| 0:06 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 0:10 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 0:12 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 0:16 | or been the victim of infidelity, | 或作不义的牺牲者, |
| 0:18 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 0:20 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 0:22 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 0:24 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 0:29 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
展开字幕全文（264 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | So, I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 因此,如果可以的话,我想先问你一些问题。 |
| 2 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 3 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 4 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 5 | or been the victim of infidelity, | 或作不义的牺牲者, |
| 6 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 7 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 8 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 9 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 10 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
| 11 | been bullied or been made redundant, | 被欺负或变得多余, |
| 12 | stand on up. | 站起来。 |
| 13 | If you've ever had a miscarriage, | 如果你曾经流产, |
| 14 | if you've ever had an abortion, | 如果你曾经堕胎, |
| 15 | or struggled through infertility, | 或因不育而挣扎, |
| 16 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 17 | Finally, if you or anyone you love | 最后,如果你或你爱的人 |
| 18 | has had to cope with mental illness, | 不得不面对精神疾病, |
| 19 | dementia, some form of physical impairment, | 痴呆症 某种形式的身体障碍 |
| 20 | or cope with suicide, | 或面对自杀, |
| 21 | please stand up. | 请站起来。 |
| 22 | Look around you. | 看看你周围 |
| 23 | Adversity doesn't discriminate. | 逆顺不分别. |
| 24 | If you are alive, you are going to have to, | 如果你还活着, 你必须, |
| 25 | or you've already had to, | 或者你已经不得不 |
| 26 | deal with some tough times. | 面对一些艰难的时期。 |
| 27 | Thank you, everyone. | 谢谢大家 |
| 28 | Take a seat. | 请坐 |
| 29 | I started studying resilience research a decade ago | 十年前我开始研究适应力 |
| 30 | at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. | 在费城宾夕法尼亚大学 |
| 31 | It was an amazing time to be there, | 这是一个惊人的时间 在那里, |
| 32 | because the professors who trained me | 因为训练我的教授 |
| 33 | had just picked up the contract to train | 刚拿到训练合同 |
| 34 | all 1.1 million American soldiers | 所有110万美国士兵 |
| 35 | to be as mentally fit | 保持精神健全 |
| 36 | as they always have been physically fit. | 因为他们一直身体健全 |
| 37 | As you can imagine, you don't get | 你可以想象,你没有得到 |
| 38 | a much more skeptical, discerning audience | 更怀疑的观众 |
| 39 | than the American drill sergeants | 比美国钻探中士 |
| 40 | returning from Afghanistan. | 从阿富汗返回。 |
| 41 | So for someone like me, whose main quest in life | 对我这样的人来说 人生的主要追求 |
| 42 | is trying to work out how we take | 正在研究我们如何应对 |
| 43 | the best of scientific findings out of academia | 学术界的最佳科学发现 |
| 44 | and bring them to people in their everyday lives, | 在他们的日常生活中, |
| 45 | it was a pretty inspiring place to be. | 这是一个相当鼓舞人心的地方。 |
| 46 | I finished my studies in America, | 我在美国完成了学业 |
| 47 | and I returned home here to Christchurch | 我回到了这里 基督教堂 |
| 48 | to start my doctoral research. | 开始我的博士研究 |
| 49 | I'd just begun that study | 我刚刚开始研究 |
| 50 | when the Christchurch earthquakes hit. | 当克赖斯特彻奇地震发生时 |
| 51 | So I put my research on hold, | 所以我把研究搁置了 |
| 52 | and I started working with my home community | 我开始和我的家乡社区合作 |
| 53 | to help them through that terrible post-quake period. | 帮助他们度过那可怕的震后时期。 |
| 54 | I worked with all sorts of organizations | 我和各种组织合作过 |
| 55 | from government departments to building companies | 从政府部门到建筑公司 |
| 56 | and all sorts of community groups, | 以及各种社区团体, |
| 57 | teaching them the ways of thinking and acting | 教他们思考和行为的方式 |
| 58 | that we know boost resilience. | 我们知道可以增强韧性。 |
| 59 | I thought that was my calling, | 我以为那是我的决定 |
| 60 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我该好好利用这些研究 | |
| 61 | but sadly, I was wrong. | 但不幸的是 我错了 |
| 62 | So my own true test came in 2014 | 所以我在2014年做了真正的测试 |
| 63 | on Queen's birthday weekend. | 在女王的生日周末。 |
| 64 | We and two other families had decided | 我们和另外两个家庭决定 |
| 65 | to go down to Lake Ohau | 去奥豪湖 |
| 66 | and bike the Alps to Ocean. | 骑着阿尔卑斯山去海洋 |
| 67 | At the last minute, | 在最后一分钟, |
| 68 | my beautiful 12-year-old daughter, Abby, | 我美丽的12岁的女儿 艾比 |
| 69 | decided to hop in the car | 决定跳上车 |
| 70 | with her best friend, Ella, also 12, | 和她最好的朋友艾拉 还有12个 |
| 71 | and Ella's mum, Sally, a dear, dear friend of mine. | 还有艾拉的妈妈,莎莉,我亲爱的朋友 |
| 72 | On the way down, | 下来的路上, |
| 73 | as they traveled through Rakiah on Thompson's track, | 当他们在汤普森的赛道上穿越拉基亚时, |
| 74 | a car sped through a stop sign, | 一辆汽车通过停车标志 |
| 75 | crashing into them | 撞上他们 |
| 76 | and killing all three of them instantly. | 并立即杀死他们三人。 |
| 77 | In the blink of an eye, | 一眨眼间 |
| 78 | I find myself flung to the other side of the equation, | 我发现自己在方程式的另一边, |
| 79 | waking up with a whole new identity. | 醒来有了全新的身份。 |
| 80 | Instead of being the resilience expert, | 而不是作为抗御能力专家, |
| 81 | suddenly I'm the grieving mother, | 突然间我成了悲痛的母亲 |
| 82 | waking up not knowing who I am, | 醒来时不知道我是谁 |
| 83 | trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news, | 试图把我的头包在 不可思议的消息, |
| 84 | my world smashed to smithereens. | 我的世界崩溃了 |
| 85 | Suddenly I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice, | 突然间我成了专家建议的最后一位 |
| 86 | and I can tell you, | 我可以告诉你, |
| 87 | I didn't like what I heard one little bit. | 我不喜欢我听到的一点。 |
| 88 | In the days after Abby died, | 在艾比死后的日子里, |
| 89 | we were told we were now prime candidates | 我们被告知,我们现在是主要候选人 |
| 90 | for family estrangement, | 因为家人的离散, |
| 91 | that we were likely to get divorced | 我们很可能离婚 |
| 92 | and we were at high risk of mental illness. | 我们有很高的精神病风险。 |
| 93 | Wow, I remember thinking, thanks for that, | 哇,我记得在想,谢谢你 |
| 94 | I thought my life was already pretty shit. | 我以为我的生活已经很糟了 |
| 95 | Leaflets described the five stages of grief, | 传单描述了悲伤的五个阶段, |
| 96 | anger, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance. | 愤怒,讨价还价,否认,抑郁,接受。 |
| 97 | Victim support arrived at our door | 受害者援助到了我们门口 |
| 98 | and told us that we could expect to write off | 并告诉我们 我们可以期待注销 |
| 99 | the next five years to grief. | 未来五年的悲伤 |
| 100 | I know the leaflets and the resources meant well, | 我知道传单和资料的用意 |
| 101 | but in all of that advice, | 但所有这些建议 |
| 102 | they left us feeling like victims, | 他们让我们觉得自己是受害者 |
| 103 | totally overwhelmed by the journey ahead | 完全被前方的旅程所淹没 |
| 104 | and powerless to exert any influence | 无法施加任何影响 |
| 105 | over our grieving whatsoever. | 以我们的哀伤为代价。 |
| 106 | I didn't need to be told how bad things were. | 我不需要别人告诉我事情有多糟 |
| 107 | Believe me, I already knew things were truly terrible. | 相信我,我已经知道 事情是真正可怕的。 |
| 108 | What I needed most was hope. | и程惠璶琌辨 |
| 109 | I needed a journey through all that anguish, | 我需要一段经历这些痛苦的旅程, |
| 110 | pain and longing. | 痛苦和渴望。 |
| 111 | Most of all, I wanted to be an active participant | 最重要的是,我想成为一个积极的参与者 |
| 112 | in my grief process. | 在我悲伤的过程中 |
| 113 | So I decided to turn my back on their advice | 所以我决定背弃他们的建议 |
| 114 | and decided instead to conduct something | 却决定做点什么 |
| 115 | of a self-experiment. | 自我体验 |
| 116 | I'd done the research, I had the tools, | 我已经做了研究,我有工具, |
| 117 | I wanted to know how useful they would be to me now | 我想知道他们现在对我有多有用 |
| 118 | in the face of such an enormous mountain to climb. | 面对如此浩瀚的山峰 |
| 119 | Now I have to confess at this point, | 现在我必须承认这一点, |
| 120 | I didn't really know any of this was going to work. | 我真的不知道 这一切会成功。 |
| 121 | Parental bereavement is widely acknowledged | 父母丧葬被广泛承认 |
| 122 | as the hardest of losses to bear. | 作为最难承受的损失。 |
| 123 | But I can tell you now, five years on, | 但我可以告诉你,五年过去了, |
| 124 | what I already knew from the research, | 我从研究中知道的 |
| 125 | that you can rise up from adversity, | 以便你们脱离厄运, |
| 126 | that there are strategies that work, | 有些策略是可行的, |
| 127 | that it is utterly possible to make yourself | 完全有可能让自己 |
| 128 | think and act in certain ways | 以某种方式思考和行动 |
| 129 | that help you navigate tough times. | 帮助你度过艰难的时光 |
| 130 | There is a monumental body of research | 有很多研究成果 |
| 131 | on how to do this stuff. | 如何做到这一点。 |
| 132 | Today I'm just going to share with you three strategies. | 今天我要跟你们分享三个策略 |
| 133 | These are my go-to strategies that I relied upon | 这些是我依靠的策略 |
| 134 | and saved me in my darkest days. | 并在我最黑暗的日子里救了我 |
| 135 | They're three strategies that underpin all of my work | 三个策略是我全部工作的基础 |
| 136 | and they're pretty readily available to us all. | 而且我们所有人都可以随时使用 |
| 137 | Anyone can learn them, you can learn them right here today. | 任何人都可以学习他们, 你可以在这里学习他们今天。 |
| 138 | So number one, resilient people get that shit happens. | 所以,第一,有弹性的人 得到狗屎发生。 |
| 139 | They know that suffering is part of life. | 他们知道痛苦是生活的一部分。 |
| 140 | This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in, | 这并不意味着他们真的欢迎它, |
| 141 | they're not actually delusional, | 他们实际上不是妄想症, |
| 142 | just that when the tough times come, | 当困难时刻来临时, |
| 143 | they seem to know that suffering is part of every human existence. | 他们似乎知道痛苦是人类生存的一部分。 |
| 144 | And knowing this stops you from feeling discriminated against | 知道这让你不再觉得受到歧视 |
| 145 | when the tough times come. | 当艰难时刻来临时 |
| 146 | Never once did I find myself thinking, why me? | 我从来没有想过为什么是我? |
| 147 | In fact, I remember thinking, why not me? | 事实上,我记得我想,为什么不是我? |
| 148 | Terrible things happen to you just like they do everybody else. | 可怕的事情发生在你身上 就像他们做的其他人。 |
| 149 | That's your life now, time to sink or swim. | 这就是你现在的生活, 该沉没或游泳。 |
| 150 | The real tragedy is that not enough of us seem to know this any longer. | 真正的悲剧是,我们似乎不再了解这一点。 |
| 151 | We seem to live in an age where we're entitled to a perfect life, | 我们似乎生活在一个我们有权过上完美生活的时代, |
| 152 | where shiny happy photos on Instagram are the norm. | 在Instagram上闪亮的快乐照片是规范的. |
| 153 | When actually, as you all demonstrated at the start of my talk, | 实际上,你们在我演讲开始时 都表明, |
| 154 | the very opposite is true. | 事实恰恰相反。 |
| 155 | Number two, resilient people are really good at choosing carefully | 第二,有耐力的人很会选 |
| 156 | where they select their attention. | 他们选择他们的注意力。 |
| 157 | They have a habit of realistically appraising situations | 他们习惯于现实地评估情况 |
| 158 | and typically managing to focus on the things that they can change | 并且通常会专注于他们可以改变的东西 |
| 159 | and somehow accept the things that they can't. | 接受他们无法接受的东西 |
| 160 | This is a vital, learnable skill for resilience. | 这是一种至关重要、可学习的复原力技能。 |
| 161 | As humans, we are really good at noticing threats and weaknesses. | 作为人类,我们非常善于注意威胁和弱点。 |
| 162 | We are hardwired for that negative. | 我们为这个负数而努力。 |
| 163 | We're really, really good at noticing them. | 我们真的很擅长注意他们 |
| 164 | Negative emotions stick to us like Velcro, | 负面情绪像Velcro一样坚持我们 |
| 165 | whereas positive emotions and experiences seem to bounce off like Teflon. | 而积极的情感和经验似乎像特弗隆一样反弹. |
| 166 | Being wired in this way is actually really good for us | 这样被窃听对我们来说真的很好 |
| 167 | and served us well from an evolutionary perspective. | 并且从进化的角度为我们提供了很好的服务。 |
| 168 | So imagine for a moment I'm a cavewoman | 想象一下我是个洞穴女郎 |
| 169 | and I'm coming out of my cave in the morning | 我早上从洞穴里出来 |
| 170 | and there's a saber-toothed tiger on one side | 一边是剑齿虎 |
| 171 | and a beautiful rainbow on the other. | 和美丽的彩虹, |
| 172 | It kind of pays for my survival for me to notice this tiger. | 看着这只老虎让我活下来 |
| 173 | The problem is we now live in an era | 问题是我们现在生活在一个时代 |
| 174 | where we are constantly bombarded by threats all day long, | 在那里,我们一天到晚遭受威胁, |
| 175 | and our poor brains treat every single one of those threats | 而我们可怜的大脑 治疗每一个这些威胁 |
| 176 | as though they were a tiger. | 像是一只老虎一样 |
| 177 | Our threat focus, our stress response, is permanently dialed up. | 我们的威胁焦点, 我们的压力反应, 被永久地拨打。 |
| 178 | Resilient people don't diminish the negative, | 坚韧的人不会减少负数, |
| 179 | but they also have worked out a way of tuning into the good. | 但他们也想出了一种方法 调和好。 |
| 180 | One day, when doubts were threatening to overwhelm me, | 有一天 当怀疑威胁着我时 |
| 181 | I distinctly remember thinking, | 我清楚地记得在想 |
| 182 | no, you do not get to get swallowed up by this. | 不,你不会被这个吞噬。 |
| 183 | You have to survive. | 你必须活下去。 |
| 184 | You've got so much to live for. | 汝诸众生得无量寿佛. |
| 185 | Choose life, not death. | 选择生命,而不是死亡。 |
| 186 | Don't lose what you have to what you have lost. | 不要失去你所拥有的一切 |
| 187 | In psychology, we call this benefit-finding. | 在心理学方面,我们称之为“利益调查”。 |
| 188 | In my brave new world, it involved trying to find things to be grateful for. | 在我勇敢的新世界里,它涉及到 寻找值得感激的东西。 |
| 189 | At least our wee girl hadn't died of some terrible, long, drawn-out illness. | 至少我们的小姑娘没有死于 一些可怕的,长期的,劳累的疾病。 |
| 190 | She died suddenly, instantly, sparing us and her that pain. | 她突然去世,当场就死了, 省下我们和她的痛苦。 |
| 191 | We had a huge amount of social support from family and friends to help us through, | 我们得到了大量的社会支持 从家庭和朋友帮助我们度过, |
| 192 | and most of all, we still had two beautiful boys to live for | 最重要的是,我们还有两个漂亮的男孩要活下去 |
| 193 | who needed us now and deserve to have as normal a life as we could possibly give them. | 他们现在需要我们 并且应该过上我们可能给他们的正常生活 |
| 194 | Being able to switch the focus of your attention to also include the good | 能够把注意力的焦点转移到包括好 |
| 195 | has been shown by science to be a really powerful strategy. | 科学证明这是一个非常强大的策略。 |
| 196 | So in 2005, Marty Seligman and colleagues conducted an experiment, | 因此在2005年,Marty Seligman和同事进行了一项实验, |
| 197 | and they asked people, all they asked people to do | 他们问别人, 他们要求别人做什么 |
| 198 | was think of three good things that had happened to them each day. | 想到了每天发生的三件好事 |
| 199 | What they found over the six months course of this study | 他们在这六个月的研究中发现了什么 |
| 200 | was that those people showed higher levels of gratitude, higher levels of happiness, | 那些人表现出了更高的感恩程度, 更高的幸福程度, |
| 201 | and less depression over the course of the six months study. | 在六个月的研究中 抑郁症会减少 |
| 202 | When you're going through grief, you might need a reminder, | 当你经历悲伤的时候,你可能需要提醒, |
| 203 | or you might need permission to feel grateful. | 或者你可能需要许可才能感恩 |
| 204 | In our kitchen, we've got a bright pink neon poster | 在我们的厨房里,我们有一个明亮的粉红霓虹灯海报 |
| 205 | that reminds us to accept the good. | 这提醒我们接受好处。 |
| 206 | In the American army, they framed it a little bit differently. | 在美国军队中,他们将其设定得有点不同. |
| 207 | They talked to the army about hunting the good stuff. | 他们和军队谈过猎杀好东西的事 |
| 208 | Find the language that works for you, but whatever you do, | 找到对你有用的语言 但无论你做什么 |
| 209 | make an intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into what's good in your world. | 做一个有意识的, 蓄意的,持续的努力 调和什么是好的 在你的世界。 |
| 210 | Number three, resilient people ask themselves, | 第三,有弹性的人问自己, |
| 211 | is what I'm doing helping or harming me? | 我是在帮助还是伤害我? |
| 212 | This is a question that's used a lot in good therapy, and boy, is it powerful. | 这个问题在良好的治疗中用了很多, 男孩,它很强大。 |
| 213 | This was my go-to question in the days after the girls died. | 这是我在女孩们死后 问的问题 |
| 214 | I would ask it again and again. | 我会问一遍又一遍。 |
| 215 | Should I go to the trial and see the driver? | 我该去法庭看看司机吗? |
| 216 | Would that help me, or would it harm me? | 会帮我,还是会伤害我? |
| 217 | Well, that was a no-brainer for me. | 那对我来说是无脑的 |
| 218 | I chose to stay away, but Trevor, my husband, | 我选择远离,但特雷弗,我丈夫, |
| 219 | decided to meet with the driver at a later time. | 决定稍后会见司机。 |
| 220 | Late at night, I'd find myself sometimes pouring over old photos of Abby, | 深夜,我发现自己有时会倒在 艾比的旧照片上 |
| 221 | getting more and more upset. | 越来越烦恼。 |
| 222 | I'd ask myself, really? | 我会问自己,真的吗? |
| 223 | Is this helping you, or is it harming you? | 这是帮助你 还是伤害你? |
| 224 | Put away the photos, go to bed for the night, be kind to yourself. | 把照片收起来 上床睡觉过夜 对自己好一点 |
| 225 | This question can be applied to so many different contexts. | 这个问题可以适用于如此之多的不同背景。 |
| 226 | Is the way I'm thinking and acting helping or harming you | 我的想法和行为 帮助或伤害你 |
| 227 | in your bid to get that promotion, to pass that exam, | 在你争取升职, 通过考试, |
| 228 | to recover from a heart attack, so many different ways? | 从心脏病发作中恢复过来, 这么多不同的方式? |
| 229 | I write a lot about resilience, and over the years, | 我写了很多关于韧性, 多年来, |
| 230 | this one strategy has prompted more positive feedback than any other. | 这一战略比任何其他战略都得到了更多的积极反馈。 |
| 231 | I get scores of letters and emails and things from all over the place | 到处都收到很多信件和邮件 |
| 232 | of people saying what a huge impact it's had on their lives, | 人们说它对他们的生活产生了巨大的影响, |
| 233 | whether it is forgiving family, ancient transgressions, | 或赦宥眷属、古老的罪过, |
| 234 | arguments from Christmases past, | 过去圣诞节的争论, |
| 235 | or whether it is just trawling through social media, | 或者只是通过社交媒体拖网 |
| 236 | whether it is asking yourself whether you really need that extra glass of wine. | 你是否真的需要这杯酒? |
| 237 | Asking yourself whether what you're doing, the way you're thinking, | 问自己你在做什么,你的想法, |
| 238 | the way you're acting, is helping or harming you | 你的行为方式 帮助或伤害你 |
| 239 | puts you back in the driver's seat. | 让你回到驾驶座上 |
| 240 | It gives you some control over your decision-making. | 这让你能控制自己的决策 |
| 241 | Three strategies, pretty simple. | 三个策略,很简单。 |
| 242 | They're readily available to us all, anytime, anywhere. | 我们随时随地都可以买到 |
| 243 | They don't require rocket science. | 他们不需要火箭科学 |
| 244 | Resilience isn't some fixed trait. | 韧性不是固定的特质 |
| 245 | It's not elusive that some people have and some people don't. | 有些人有,有些人没有,这并非不可捉摸。 |
| 246 | It actually requires very ordinary processes, | 这实际上需要非常普通的程序, |
| 247 | just the willingness to give them a go. | 只是愿意给他们一个机会。 |
| 248 | I think we all have moments in life where our life path splits, | 我想我们人生中都有分道扬镳的时刻 |
| 249 | and the journey we thought we were going down | 和我们以为要下去的旅程 |
| 250 | takes some terrible veers off to some terrible direction | 带一些可怕的车去一些可怕的方向 |
| 251 | that we never anticipated and we certainly didn't want. | 我们从来没有预料到,我们当然不希望。 |
| 252 | It happened to me. | 这发生在我身上。 |
| 253 | It was awful beyond imagining. | 简直是无法想象 |
| 254 | If you ever find yourselves in a situation where you think, | 如果你发现自己处于你认为的境地 |
| 255 | there's no way I'm coming back from this, | 我再也回不来了 |
| 256 | I urge you to lean into these strategies and think again. | 我敦促你们重新思考这些策略。 |
| 257 | I won't pretend that thinking this way is easy, | 我不会假装这样想很容易 |
| 258 | and it doesn't remove all the pain. | 它不会消除所有的疼痛 |
| 259 | But if I've learned anything over the last five years, | 但如果我在过去5年学到了什么 |
| 260 | it is that thinking this way really does help. | 这样做真的有用 |
| 261 | More than anything, it has shown me that it is possible | 比什么都重要,它告诉我,这是可能的 |
| 262 | to live and grieve at the same time. | 生活和悲伤同时。 |
| 263 | And for that, I will be always grateful. | 为此,我将永远感激。 |
| 264 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
该视频共有字幕 264 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P3 · 拥有强大心理韧性者的三个秘诀【TED演讲】 p03 无字幕(英文外挂) (P3)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:02 | So I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 所以我想先问你一些问题 |
| 0:06 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 0:10 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 0:12 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 0:16 | or been the victim of infidelity, please stand up. | 或者是不忠的受害者 请站起来 |
| 0:20 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 0:22 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 0:24 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 0:29 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
| 0:31 | been bullied or been made redundant, stand on up. | 被欺负 或变得多余, 站起来。 |
展开字幕全文（285 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | So I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions. | 所以我想先问你一些问题 |
| 2 | If you've ever lost someone you truly love, | 如果你曾经失去你真正爱的人 |
| 3 | ever had your heart broken, | 你曾经心碎, |
| 4 | ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce, | 在激烈的离婚中挣扎过, |
| 5 | or been the victim of infidelity, please stand up. | 或者是不忠的受害者 请站起来 |
| 6 | If standing up isn't accessible to you, | 如果站着不方便的话 |
| 7 | you can put your hand up. | 你可以把手举起来。 |
| 8 | Please stay standing and keep your hand up there. | 请继续站着 把手放在上面 |
| 9 | If you've ever lived through a natural disaster, | 如果你曾经历过自然灾害 |
| 10 | been bullied or been made redundant, stand on up. | 被欺负 或变得多余, 站起来。 |
| 11 | If you've ever had a miscarriage, | 如果你曾经流产, |
| 12 | if you've ever had an abortion, | 如果你曾经堕胎, |
| 13 | or struggled through infertility, please stand up. | 或者因为不孕而挣扎 请站起来 |
| 14 | Finally, if you or anyone you love | 最后,如果你或你爱的人 |
| 15 | has had to cope with mental illness, dementia, | 不得不面对精神疾病,痴呆, |
| 16 | some form of physical impairment, | 某种身体缺陷, |
| 17 | or cope with suicide, please stand up. | 或处理自杀,请站起来。 |
| 18 | Look around you. | 看看你周围 |
| 19 | Adversity doesn't discriminate. | 逆顺不分别. |
| 20 | If you are alive, you are going to have to, | 如果你还活着, 你必须, |
| 21 | or you've already had to, deal with some tough times. | 或者你已经不得不面对一些艰难的时刻 |
| 22 | Thank you, everyone, take a seat. | 谢谢大家 请坐 |
| 23 | I started studying resilience research a decade ago | 十年前我开始研究适应力 |
| 24 | at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. | 在费城宾夕法尼亚大学 |
| 25 | It was an amazing time to be there | 呆在那里真是不可思议 |
| 26 | because the professors who trained me | 因为训练我的教授 |
| 27 | had just picked up the contract | 刚拿到合同 |
| 28 | to train all 1.1 million American soldiers | 训练所有110万美国士兵 |
| 29 | to be as mentally fit | 保持精神健全 |
| 30 | as they always have been physically fit. | 因为他们一直身体健全 |
| 31 | As you can imagine, | 正如你想象的那样, |
| 32 | you don't get a much more skeptical, discerning audience | 你没有得到更多的怀疑, 辨别观众 |
| 33 | than the American drill sergeants | 比美国钻探中士 |
| 34 | returning from Afghanistan. | 从阿富汗返回。 |
| 35 | So for someone like me, whose main quest in life | 对我这样的人来说 人生的主要追求 |
| 36 | is trying to work out how we take | 正在研究我们如何应对 |
| 37 | the best of scientific findings out of academia | 学术界的最佳科学发现 |
| 38 | and bring them to people in their everyday lives, | 在他们的日常生活中, |
| 39 | it was a pretty inspiring place to be. | 这是一个相当鼓舞人心的地方。 |
| 40 | I finished my studies in America | 我在美国完成了学业 |
| 41 | and I returned home here to Christchurch | 我回到了这里 基督教堂 |
| 42 | to start my doctoral research. | 开始我的博士研究 |
| 43 | I'd just begun that study | 我刚刚开始研究 |
| 44 | when the Christchurch earthquakes hit. | 当克赖斯特彻奇地震发生时 |
| 45 | So I put my research on hold | 所以我把研究搁置了 |
| 46 | and I started working with my home community | 我开始和我的家乡社区合作 |
| 47 | to help them through that terrible post quake period. | 帮助他们度过那段可怕的地震后时期。 |
| 48 | I worked with all sorts of organizations | 我和各种组织合作过 |
| 49 | from government departments to building companies | 从政府部门到建筑公司 |
| 50 | and all sorts of community groups, | 以及各种社区团体, |
| 51 | teaching them the ways of thinking and acting | 教他们思考和行为的方式 |
| 52 | that we know boost resilience. | 我们知道可以增强韧性。 |
| 53 | I thought that was my calling, | 我以为那是我的决定 |
| 54 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我该好好利用这些研究 | |
| 55 | but sadly I was wrong. | 可惜我错了 |
| 56 | So my own true test came in 2014 | 所以我在2014年做了真正的测试 |
| 57 | on Queen's birthday weekend. | 在女王的生日周末。 |
| 58 | We and two other families had decided | 我们和另外两个家庭决定 |
| 59 | to go down to Lake Ohau and bike the Alps to Ocean. | 去奥豪湖 骑着阿尔卑斯山去大洋 |
| 60 | At the last minute, my beautiful 12-year-old daughter, | 最后一刻 我美丽的12岁女儿 |
| 61 | Abby, decided to hop in the car | 艾比,决定上车 |
| 62 | with her best friend, Ella, also 12, | 和她最好的朋友艾拉 还有12个 |
| 63 | and Ella's mom, Sally, a dear, dear friend of mine. | 还有艾拉的妈妈,莎莉,我亲爱的朋友 |
| 64 | On the way down, as they traveled through Rekaya | 在下山途中,他们穿过雷卡亚 |
| 65 | on Thompson's track, a car sped through a stop sign, | 在Thompson的赛道上,一辆车冲破了停车标志, |
| 66 | crashing into them and killing all three of them instantly. | 撞上他们 立即杀死他们三个 |
| 67 | In the blink of an eye, I find myself flung | 眨眼间,我发现自己飞翔 |
| 68 | to the other side of the equation, | 到方程式的另一边, |
| 69 | waking up with a whole new identity. | 醒来有了全新的身份。 |
| 70 | Instead of being the resilience expert, | 而不是作为抗御能力专家, |
| 71 | suddenly I'm the grieving mother, | 突然间我成了悲痛的母亲 |
| 72 | waking up not knowing who I am, | 醒来时不知道我是谁 |
| 73 | trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news, | 试图把我的头包在 不可思议的消息, |
| 74 | my world smashed to smithereens. | 我的世界崩溃了 |
| 75 | Suddenly I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice, | 突然间我成了专家建议的最后一位 |
| 76 | and I can tell you, I didn't like what I heard | 我可以告诉你,我不喜欢我听到的 |
| 77 | one little bit. | 一点点。 |
| 78 | In the days after Abby died, we were told | 在艾比死后几天 我们被告知 |
| 79 | we were now prime candidates for family estrangement, | 我们现在是家庭分离的主要人选 |
| 80 | that we were likely to get divorced | 我们很可能离婚 |
| 81 | and we were at high risk of mental illness. | 我们有很高的精神病风险。 |
| 82 | Wow, I remember thinking, thanks for that, | 哇,我记得在想,谢谢你 |
| 83 | I thought my life was already pretty shit. | 我以为我的生活已经很糟了 |
| 84 | Leaflets described the five stages of grief, | 传单描述了悲伤的五个阶段, |
| 85 | anger, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance. | 愤怒,讨价还价,否认,抑郁,接受。 |
| 86 | Victim support arrived at our door and told us | 受害者支援来到了我们的门口 告诉我们 |
| 87 | that we could expect to write off the next five years | 未来5年我们会注销 |
| 88 | to grief. | 致哀伤 |
| 89 | I know the leaflets and the resources meant well, | 我知道传单和资料的用意 |
| 90 | but in all of that advice, they left us feeling like victims, | 但是在所有这些建议中 他们让我们觉得自己是受害者 |
| 91 | totally overwhelmed by the journey ahead | 完全被前方的旅程所淹没 |
| 92 | and powerless to exert any influence | 无法施加任何影响 |
| 93 | over our grieving whatsoever. | 以我们的哀伤为代价。 |
| 94 | I didn't need to be told how bad things were. | 我不需要别人告诉我事情有多糟 |
| 95 | Believe me, I already knew things were truly terrible. | 相信我,我已经知道 事情是真正可怕的。 |
| 96 | What I needed most was hope. | и程惠璶琌辨 |
| 97 | I needed a journey through all that anguish, pain | 我需要一个旅程 经历所有的痛苦,痛苦 |
| 98 | and longing. | 和渴望的。 |
| 99 | Most of all, I wanted to be an active participant | 最重要的是,我想成为一个积极的参与者 |
| 100 | in my grief process. | 在我悲伤的过程中 |
| 101 | So I decided to turn my back on their advice | 所以我决定背弃他们的建议 |
| 102 | and decided instead to conduct something | 却决定做点什么 |
| 103 | of a self experiment. | 自我实验 |
| 104 | I'd done the research, I had the tools, | 我已经做了研究,我有工具, |
| 105 | I wanted to know how useful they would be to me now | 我想知道他们现在对我有多有用 |
| 106 | in the face of such an enormous mountain to climb. | 面对如此浩瀚的山峰 |
| 107 | Now I have to confess at this point, | 现在我必须承认这一点, |
| 108 | I didn't really know any of this was gonna work. | 我真的不知道这些东西会有用 |
| 109 | Parental bereavement is widely acknowledged | 父母丧葬被广泛承认 |
| 110 | as the hardest of losses to bear. | 作为最难承受的损失。 |
| 111 | But I can tell you now, five years on, | 但我可以告诉你,五年过去了, |
| 112 | what I already knew from the research, | 我从研究中知道的 |
| 113 | that you can rise up from adversity, | 以便你们脱离厄运, |
| 114 | that there are strategies that work, | 有些策略是可行的, |
| 115 | that it is utterly possible to make yourself think | 完全有可能让自己思考 |
| 116 | and act in certain ways that help you navigate tough times. | 以某种方式行动 帮助你渡过艰难时期 |
| 117 | There is a monumental body of research | 有很多研究成果 |
| 118 | on how to do this stuff. | 如何做到这一点。 |
| 119 | Today I'm just gonna share with you three strategies. | 今天我要跟你们分享三个策略 |
| 120 | These are my go-to strategies that I relied upon | 这些是我依靠的策略 |
| 121 | and saved me in my darkest days. | 并在我最黑暗的日子里救了我 |
| 122 | They're three strategies that underpin all of my work | 三个策略是我全部工作的基础 |
| 123 | and they're pretty readily available to us all. | 而且我们所有人都可以随时使用 |
| 124 | Anyone can learn them, you can learn them right here today. | 任何人都可以学习他们, 你可以在这里学习他们今天。 |
| 125 | So number one, resilient people get that shit happens. | 所以,第一,有弹性的人 得到狗屎发生。 |
| 126 | They know that suffering is part of life. | 他们知道痛苦是生活的一部分。 |
| 127 | This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in, | 这并不意味着他们真的欢迎它, |
| 128 | they're not actually delusional, | 他们实际上不是妄想症, |
| 129 | just that when the tough times come, | 当困难时刻来临时, |
| 130 | they seem to know that suffering is part | 他们似乎知道痛苦是其中一部分 |
| 131 | of every human existence. | 所有人类的存在 |
| 132 | And knowing this stops you from feeling discriminated | 知道这让你不再感到受歧视 |
| 133 | against when the tough times come. | 当艰难的时刻来临时, |
| 134 | Never once did I find myself thinking, why me? | 我从来没有想过为什么是我? |
| 135 | In fact, I remember thinking, why not me? | 事实上,我记得我想,为什么不是我? |
| 136 | Terrible things happen to you | 可怕的事情发生在你身上 |
| 137 | just like they do everybody else. | 就像他们做的其他人。 |
| 138 | That's your life now, time to sink or swim. | 这就是你现在的生活, 该沉没或游泳。 |
| 139 | The real tragedy is that not enough of us | 真正的悲剧是我们还不够 |
| 140 | seem to know this any longer. | 这似乎已经知道了。 |
| 141 | We seem to live in an age where we're entitled | 我们似乎生活在一个我们有资格的时代 |
| 142 | to a perfect life, where shiny happy photos | 一个完美的生活, 闪亮的快乐的照片 |
| 143 | 在Instagram上是规范。 | |
| 144 | When actually, as you all demonstrated | 事实上,你们都证明 |
| 145 | at the start of my talk, the very opposite is true. | 在我开始说话的时候 恰恰相反 |
| 146 | Number two, resilient people are really good | 第二,有韧性的人真的很好 |
| 147 | at choosing carefully where they select their attention. | 仔细选择他们的注意力所在 |
| 148 | They have a habit of realistically appraising situations | 他们习惯于现实地评估情况 |
| 149 | and typically managing to focus on the things | 并通常设法 专注于事物 |
| 150 | that they can change and somehow accept | 他们可以改变 并接受 |
| 151 | the things that they can't. | 他们不能做的事 |
| 152 | This is a vital, learnable skill for resilience. | 这是一种至关重要、可学习的复原力技能。 |
| 153 | As humans, we are really good at noticing threats | 作为人类,我们很擅长注意威胁 |
| 154 | and weaknesses. | 和弱点。 |
| 155 | We are hardwired for that negative. | 我们为这个负数而努力。 |
| 156 | We're really, really good at noticing them. | 我们真的很擅长注意他们 |
| 157 | Negative emotions stick to us like Velcro, | 负面情绪像Velcro一样坚持我们 |
| 158 | whereas positive emotions and experiences | 而积极的情感和经验 |
| 159 | seem to bounce off like Teflon. | 似乎像特弗隆一样反弹 |
| 160 | Being wired in this way is actually really good for us | 这样被窃听对我们来说真的很好 |
| 161 | and served us well from an evolutionary perspective. | 并且从进化的角度为我们提供了很好的服务。 |
| 162 | So imagine for a moment, I'm a cave woman | 所以想象一下,我是一个洞穴女人 |
| 163 | and I'm coming out of my cave in the morning | 我早上从洞穴里出来 |
| 164 | and there's a saber-tooth tiger on one side | 一边是剑齿虎 |
| 165 | and a beautiful rainbow on the other. | 和美丽的彩虹, |
| 166 | It kind of pays for my survival | 这让我活下来 |
| 167 | for me to notice this tiger. | 让我注意到这只老虎 |
| 168 | The problem is we now live in an era | 问题是我们现在生活在一个时代 |
| 169 | where we are constantly bombarded by threats all day long | 在那里我们一天到晚受到威胁 |
| 170 | and our poor brains treat every single one | 我们可怜的大脑对待每个人 |
| 171 | of those threats as though they were a tiger. | 那些威胁就像一只老虎 |
| 172 | Our threat focus, our stress response | 我们的重心和压力 |
| 173 | is permanently dialed up. | 被永久拨号。 |
| 174 | Resilient people don't diminish the negative, | 坚韧的人不会减少负数, |
| 175 | but they also have worked out a way | 但他们也有办法 |
| 176 | of tuning into the good. | 调和到好。 |
| 177 | One day, when doubts were threatening to overwhelm me, | 有一天 当怀疑威胁着我时 |
| 178 | I distinctly remember thinking, | 我清楚地记得在想 |
| 179 | no, you do not get to get swallowed up by this. | 不,你不会被这个吞噬。 |
| 180 | You have to survive. | 你必须活下去。 |
| 181 | You've got so much to live for. | 汝诸众生得无量寿佛. |
| 182 | Choose life, not death. | 选择生命,而不是死亡。 |
| 183 | Don't lose what you have to what you have lost. | 不要失去你所拥有的一切 |
| 184 | In psychology, we call this benefit finding. | 在心理学方面,我们称之为“利益调查”。 |
| 185 | In my brave new world, | 在我的勇敢的新世界里, |
| 186 | it involved trying to find things to be grateful for. | 它涉及试图找到 东西是感激。 |
| 187 | At least our wee girl hadn't died | 至少我们小姑娘没死 |
| 188 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}因为一些可怕的长期疾病 | |
| 189 | She died suddenly, instantly, | 她突然就死了,马上 |
| 190 | sparing us and her that pain. | 免得我们和她遭受那种痛苦 |
| 191 | We had a huge amount of social support | 我们得到了大量的社会支持 |
| 192 | from family and friends to help us through. | 从家人和朋友帮助我们度过。 |
| 193 | And most of all, we still had two beautiful boys to live for | 最重要的是,我们还有两个漂亮的男孩要活 |
| 194 | who needed us now and deserve to have as normal a life | 他们现在需要我们 值得过正常的生活 |
| 195 | as we could possibly give them. | 我们可能给他们。 |
| 196 | Being able to switch the focus of your attention | 能够改变你的注意力焦点 |
| 197 | to also include the good | 包括善者 |
| 198 | has been shown by science to be a really powerful strategy. | 科学证明这是一个非常强大的策略。 |
| 199 | So in 2005, Marty Seligman and colleagues | 因此,在2005年,马蒂·塞利格曼和同事 |
| 200 | conducted an experiment and they asked people, | 进行了实验,他们问人们, |
| 201 | all they asked people to do | 所有他们要求人们做的 |
| 202 | was think of three good things | 想着三件好事 |
| 203 | that had happened to them each day. | 他们天天都这样 |
| 204 | What they found over the six months course of this study | 他们在这六个月的研究中发现了什么 |
| 205 | was that those people showed higher levels of gratitude, | 那些人表现出了更高程度的感激, |
| 206 | higher levels of happiness and less depression | 快乐程度更高,抑郁程度较低 |
| 207 | over the course of the six months study. | 在六个月的研究中 |
| 208 | When you're going through grief, | 当你经历悲伤的时候 |
| 209 | you might need a reminder | 你可能需要一个提醒 |
| 210 | or you might need permission to feel grateful. | 或者你可能需要许可才能感恩 |
| 211 | In our kitchen, we've got a bright pink neon poster | 在我们的厨房里,我们有一个明亮的粉红霓虹灯海报 |
| 212 | that reminds us to accept the good. | 这提醒我们接受好处。 |
| 213 | In the American army, they framed it a little bit differently. | 在美国军队中,他们将其设定得有点不同. |
| 214 | They talked to the army about hunting the good stuff. | 他们和军队谈过猎杀好东西的事 |
| 215 | Find the language that works for you, | 找到对你有用的语言 |
| 216 | but whatever you do, make an intentional, | 但无论你做什么,你应当故意地做一件事, |
| 217 | deliberate, ongoing effort | 蓄意、持续的努力 |
| 218 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}听好你的世界 | |
| 219 | Number three, resilient people ask themselves, | 第三,有弹性的人问自己, |
| 220 | is what I'm doing helping or harming me? | 我是在帮助还是伤害我? |
| 221 | This is a question that's used a lot in good therapy | 这个问题在治疗上用得很多 |
| 222 | and boy, is it powerful. | 男孩,这是强大的。 |
| 223 | This was my go-to question | 这是我的问题 |
| 224 | in the days after the girls died. | 在女孩们死后的日子里 |
| 225 | I would ask it again and again. | 我会问一遍又一遍。 |
| 226 | Should I go to the trial and see the driver? | 我该去法庭看看司机吗? |
| 227 | Would that help me or would it harm me? | 那会帮我还是会伤害我? |
| 228 | Well, that was a no-brainer for me. | 那对我来说是无脑的 |
| 229 | I chose to stay away, | 我选择远离 |
| 230 | but Trevor, my husband, | 但特雷弗,我的丈夫, |
| 231 | decided to meet with the driver at a later time. | 决定稍后会见司机。 |
| 232 | Late at night, I'd find myself sometimes | 深夜,我会发现自己有时 |
| 233 | poring over old photos of Abby | 翻拍艾比的旧照片 |
| 234 | getting more and more upset. | 越来越烦恼。 |
| 235 | I'd ask myself, really? | 我会问自己,真的吗? |
| 236 | Is this helping you or is it harming you? | 这是在帮你还是在伤害你? |
| 237 | Put away the photos, go to bed for the night. | 把照片收起来,睡吧 |
| 238 | Be kind to yourself. | 孝顺己身. |
| 239 | This question can be applied to so many different contexts. | 这个问题可以适用于如此之多的不同背景。 |
| 240 | Is the way I'm thinking and acting helping or harming you | 我的想法和行为 帮助或伤害你 |
| 241 | in your bid to get that promotion, | 在争取升职时 |
| 242 | to pass that exam, to recover from a heart attack? | 要通过考试,从心脏病发作中恢复过来? |
| 243 | So many different ways. | 这么多不同的方式。 |
| 244 | I write a lot about resilience, | 我写了很多关于弹性, |
| 245 | and over the years, this one strategy | 多年来,这个战略 |
| 246 | has prompted more positive feedback than any other. | 得到了比任何其他更积极的反馈。 |
| 247 | I get scores of letters and emails and things | 我收到很多信件和邮件 |
| 248 | from all over the place of people saying, | 从各地的人说, |
| 249 | what a huge impact it's had on their lives. | 这对他们的生活产生了巨大的影响。 |
| 250 | Whether it is forgiving family, ancient transgressions, | 假若那是至赦的、古老的、 |
| 251 | arguments from Christmas' past, | 从圣诞节的过去, |
| 252 | or whether it is just trawling through social media, | 或者只是通过社交媒体拖网 |
| 253 | whether it is asking yourself | 它是不是在问你自己 |
| 254 | whether you really need that extra glass of wine, | 你是否真的需要 额外的酒杯, |
| 255 | asking yourself whether what you're doing, | 问你自己在做什么 |
| 256 | the way you're thinking, the way you're acting, | 你的想法, 你的行为, |
| 257 | is helping or harming you, | 帮助或伤害你, |
| 258 | puts you back in the driver's seat. | 让你回到驾驶座上 |
| 259 | It gives you some control over your decision-making. | 这让你能控制自己的决策 |
| 260 | Three strategies, pretty simple. | 三个策略,很简单。 |
| 261 | They're readily available to us all, | 它们随时可供我们大家使用, |
| 262 | anytime, anywhere. | 随时随地 |
| 263 | They don't require rocket science. | 他们不需要火箭科学 |
| 264 | Resilience isn't some fixed trait. | 韧性不是固定的特质 |
| 265 | It's not elusive that some people have and some people don't. | 有些人有,有些人没有,这并非不可捉摸。 |
| 266 | It actually requires very ordinary processes, | 这实际上需要非常普通的程序, |
| 267 | just the willingness to give them a go. | 只是愿意给他们一个机会。 |
| 268 | I think we all have moments in life | 我想我们都有生命中的时刻 |
| 269 | where our life path splits, | 在那里,我们的生活道路分裂, |
| 270 | and the journey we thought we were going down | 和我们以为要下去的旅程 |
| 271 | takes some terrible veers off to some terrible direction | 带一些可怕的车去一些可怕的方向 |
| 272 | that we never anticipated and we certainly didn't want. | 我们从来没有预料到,我们当然不希望。 |
| 273 | It happened to me, it was awful beyond imagining. | 它发生在我身上,这是可怕的超出想象。 |
| 274 | If you ever find yourselves in a situation where you think, | 如果你发现自己处于你认为的境地 |
| 275 | there's no way I'm coming back from this, | 我再也回不来了 |
| 276 | I urge you to lean into these strategies and think again. | 我敦促你们重新思考这些策略。 |
| 277 | I won't pretend that thinking this way is easy | 我不会假装这样想很容易 |
| 278 | and it doesn't remove all the pain. | 它不会消除所有的疼痛 |
| 279 | But if I've learned anything over the last five years, | 但如果我在过去5年学到了什么 |
| 280 | it is that thinking this way really does help. | 这样做真的有用 |
| 281 | More than anything, it has shown me that it is possible | 比什么都重要,它告诉我,这是可能的 |
| 282 | to live and grieve at the same time. | 生活和悲伤同时。 |
| 283 | And for that, I will be always grateful. | 为此,我将永远感激。 |
| 284 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 285 | And for that, I will be always grateful. | 为此,我将永远感激。 |
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