【双语音+文稿】如何摆脱受害者心态：10个迹象表明你正在不知
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剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 【双语音+文稿】如何摆脱受害者心态：10个迹象表明你正在不知 | 17:36 |
P1 · 【双语音+文稿】如何摆脱受害者心态：10个迹象表明你正在不知不觉中放弃自己的力量 p01 英文版 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Here is an uncomfortable question to you. | 对你来说这是一个很不舒服的问题。 |
| 0:02 | If your life stayed exactly the same for the next 10 years, | 如果你的人生在接下来的十年里完全一样 |
| 0:06 | whose fault would it be? | 谁的错? |
| 0:08 | Your boss doesn't appreciate you, your parents didn't give you | 你老板不欣赏你,你父母没给你 |
| 0:11 | a good start, your partner ruined everything, money is died because of your country, your city, | 一个好的开端,你的搭档毁了一切, 钱是死因为你的国家,你的城市, |
| 0:17 | the people around you, or just a bad luck. | 或只是运气不好 |
| 0:19 | Other people seem to get everything handed to them. | 其他人似乎得到了一切 交给他们。 |
| 0:22 | And here is the uncomfortable part. | 接下来是不舒服的部分。 |
| 0:24 | Sometimes that's actually true. | 有时候是真的 |
| 0:27 | You might have been betrayed, | 你可能会被出卖 |
展开字幕全文（377 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Here is an uncomfortable question to you. | 对你来说这是一个很不舒服的问题。 |
| 2 | If your life stayed exactly the same for the next 10 years, | 如果你的人生在接下来的十年里完全一样 |
| 3 | whose fault would it be? | 谁的错? |
| 4 | Your boss doesn't appreciate you, your parents didn't give you | 你老板不欣赏你,你父母没给你 |
| 5 | a good start, your partner ruined everything, money is died because of your country, your city, | 一个好的开端,你的搭档毁了一切, 钱是死因为你的国家,你的城市, |
| 6 | the people around you, or just a bad luck. | 或只是运气不好 |
| 7 | Other people seem to get everything handed to them. | 其他人似乎得到了一切 交给他们。 |
| 8 | And here is the uncomfortable part. | 接下来是不舒服的部分。 |
| 9 | Sometimes that's actually true. | 有时候是真的 |
| 10 | You might have been betrayed, | 你可能会被出卖 |
| 11 | you might have been seriously hurt, you might have had a genuinely awful situation that you | 你可能已经严重受伤, 你可能有一个真正的可怕的情况,你 |
| 12 | never deserved. | 永远不值得 |
| 13 | But there is a massive difference between something bad happened to me and bad | 但是,我遇到的坏事和坏事有很大的区别 |
| 14 | things always happened to me, and I can't do anything about it. | 事情总是发生在我身上 而我却无能为力 |
| 15 | That second sentence has a | 第二句有一个 |
| 16 | name. | 名称。 |
| 17 | It calls victim mentality. | 这叫受害者心态。 |
| 18 | And today I'm going to show you exactly how it works, the red | 今天我要告诉你它是如何运作的 红色 |
| 19 | flags that reveal it. | 旗帜显示它。 |
| 20 | And this is the important part, how to walk out of it without swinging into | 这是重要的一部分,如何走出它 不摇摆进入 |
| 21 | the opposite trap of blaming yourself for everything either. | 反之,把一切都怪罪于你自己 |
| 22 | Hi, my name is Alia Rosa and I'm a behavioral | 嗨,我叫阿丽雅·罗莎,我是一个行为 |
| 23 | analyst and a certified coach. | 分析师和合格教练 |
| 24 | Before this, I worked as a secret agent fighting human and | 之前,我做过一个秘密特工 与人类和 |
| 25 | drug trafficking. | 贩毒。 |
| 26 | My job was studying how criminals and predators of human trafficking think and | 我的工作是研究 贩卖人口的罪犯和掠夺者如何看待 |
| 27 | manipulate. | 操作。 |
| 28 | And now on this channel, I break down the psychology behind manipulation, | 现在在这个频道上 我打破了操纵背后的心理 |
| 29 | self-sabotage, and the mental patterns that quickly control our lives so you can recognize | 自我破坏 以及快速控制我们生活的精神模式 |
| 30 | them and take your own power back. | 夺回自己的力量 |
| 31 | So let's get into it. | 因此,让我们开始吧。 |
| 32 | Let's think about what is victim mentality, | 让我们想想什么是受害者的心态, |
| 33 | really. | 痷 |
| 34 | In simple words, victim mentality is when a person starts to see themselves as someone with | 简言之,受害人的心态是当一个人开始将自己视为与 |
| 35 | no real influence over their own life. | 没有真正的影响 他们自己的生活。 |
| 36 | Not this is hard right now, but everything is always hard | 现在不难,但每件事总是难 |
| 37 | for me. | 对我来说。 |
| 38 | Not this person treated me badly, but everyone always treats me this way. | 不是这个人对我不好 但每个人都这样对待我 |
| 39 | Not I made | 我没有做 |
| 40 | a mistake, but there is nothing I can do because my circumstances are stronger than I am. | 错误,但我无能为力 因为我的环境比我更强。 |
| 41 | And here | 还有这里 |
| 42 | is where the trap begins, because the victim role can actually feel comfortable. | 是陷阱的起点 因为受害者角色可以感到舒服 |
| 43 | That sounds strange, | 这听起来很奇怪, |
| 44 | so think about it for a second. | 所以考虑一下 |
| 45 | If someone else is always to blame, you don't have to change | 如果总是怪别人,你不用变 |
| 46 | anything. | 任何东西。 |
| 47 | If your boss is responsible for your career, you don't have to figure it out which | 如果你的老板对你的事业负责, 你不必去想清楚 |
| 48 | skills to build. | 技能建设。 |
| 49 | If your ex is responsible for all your problems, you don't have to look at why you | 如果你的前夫对你所有的问题负责 你不必看为什么 |
| 50 | keep choosing similar people. | 继续选择相似的人。 |
| 51 | If money is only tied because of circumstances, you never have to | 如果钱只是因为情况而绑定的,就不用了 |
| 52 | examine your own decisions. | 检查你自己的决定。 |
| 53 | You get one simple explanation for everything. | 你得到一个简单的解释 关于一切。 |
| 54 | This isn't in my | 这不是我的 |
| 55 | and along with that explanation, responsibility quietly disappears. | 伴随着这个解释,责任悄悄地消失了。 |
| 56 | And once responsibility | 一旦责任 |
| 57 | disappears, so does your ability to actually change anything. | 消失,你的能力 真正改变任何东西。 |
| 58 | Let's speak about red flags. | 谈红旗事. |
| 59 | And the first one, you constantly explain why nothing will work. | 第一个,你不停地解释 为什么什么都不会成功。 |
| 60 | So listen to your own inner | 听听你的内心 |
| 61 | voice for a second. | 一秒钟的声音。 |
| 62 | I would start, but I would leave, but I would work on myself, but I would | 我会开始,但我会离开, 但我会努力自己, 但我会 |
| 63 | someone decent, but. | 某个体面的人,但是... |
| 64 | And after every but, there is a reason. | 在每一个但,有一个原因。 |
| 65 | No time, no money, no connection, | 没有时间,没有钱,没有联系, |
| 66 | wrong country, wrong age, wrong environment, parents don't support me, job won't allow it, | 错误的国家,错误的年龄,错误的环境, 父母不支持我,工作不允许它, |
| 67 | partner gets in the way. | 搭档会碍事的 |
| 68 | And again, some of these reasons might be completely real. | 再说一遍,其中一些原因可能完全真实。 |
| 69 | Obstacles do | 障碍确实存在 |
| 70 | exist. | 已存在。 |
| 71 | But the real question isn't whether obstacles exist. | 但真正的问题不是障碍是否存在. |
| 72 | The real question is what am I | 真正的问题是我是什么 |
| 73 | to do with what I actually have? | 与我有什么实际的? |
| 74 | Someone with a victim mentality asks, why am I so unlucky? | 有受害者心理的人问 为什么我这么不幸? |
| 75 | Someone with a healthier mindset asks, okay, this is my situation. | 心智更健康的人会问 这就是我的处境 |
| 76 | What part of it can I actually | 我到底能做点什么? |
| 77 | change? | 换衣服? |
| 78 | Those are two completely different questions. | 这两个问题完全不同。 |
| 79 | You see it, right? | 你看见了吗? |
| 80 | The next red flag is | 下一个红旗是 |
| 81 | if you really need people to feel sorry for you. | 如果你真的需要人为你感到难过 |
| 82 | This one is subtle. | 这个很微妙 |
| 83 | Sometimes the person shares | 有时候,人分享 |
| 84 | a problem not to find a solution, but to get the confirmation. | 问题不是找到解决办法 而是得到确认 |
| 85 | Yes, you really did get unlucky. | 是的,你真的运气不好 |
| 86 | Yes, | 对 |
| 87 | everyone around you really is impossible. | 你们身边的每个人都不可能 |
| 88 | Yes, there was nothing you could do. | 是的,你无能为力。 |
| 89 | Yes, it's all | 是的,这一切 |
| 90 | their fault. | 他们的错。 |
| 91 | And if you offer a solution, they start explaining why it won't work. | 如果你给出了一个解决方案, 他们开始解释为什么它不会成功。 |
| 92 | Try switching | 尝试切换 |
| 93 | jobs. | 任务。 |
| 94 | I can't. | 我没办法 |
| 95 | Then talk to your manager. | 那就跟你的经理谈谈 |
| 96 | Pointless. | 无指. |
| 97 | Then start looking elsewhere. | 然后开始寻找别的地方。 |
| 98 | The market's terrible right now. | 市场现在糟透了 |
| 99 | And it can go on forever like that. | 它可以一直这样下去。 |
| 100 | Because deep down, | 因为内心深处, |
| 101 | the person doesn't actually want a way out. | 那个人其实不想有出路 |
| 102 | They want the story confirmed. | 他们要证实这个故事 |
| 103 | So this is a real red | 所以这是真正的红色 |
| 104 | flag worth nothing in yourself if you keep describing a problem, but reject almost every | 如果你继续描述一个问题,旗子本身就一文不值 但是几乎每个都拒绝 |
| 105 | possible solution offered to you. | 可能的解决办法给你。 |
| 106 | You might not be protecting yourself. | 你可能不会保护自己 |
| 107 | You might not be protecting | 你可能不会保护我 |
| 108 | your role as a victim. | 你的角色是一个受害者。 |
| 109 | Another red flag is if you only compare your life to others when it's | 另一面红旗是,如果你只把生活和别人比起来 |
| 110 | convenient. | 简便。 |
| 111 | You may say, oh, he just got lucky. | 你可以说 他只是走运了 |
| 112 | Oh, she just has rich parents. | 哦,她刚刚有富有的父母。 |
| 113 | Oh, he's good looking, | 哦,他长得很帅 |
| 114 | so it's easy for him. | 所以对他来说很容易 |
| 115 | Oh, she had connections. | 哦,她有关系。 |
| 116 | Oh, she has a sugar diet sponsor. | 哦,她有一个糖 饮食赞助商。 |
| 117 | Oh, she just | 哦,她刚刚 |
| 118 | happened to find a good man. | 碰巧找到一个好人 |
| 119 | And yes, sometimes people genuinely get lucky. | 是的,有时候人们真的幸运。 |
| 120 | Some people are born | 有些人生下来了 |
| 121 | into money. | 变成金钱。 |
| 122 | Some have useful connections. | 有些人有有用的联系。 |
| 123 | Some are born in the right place at the right time. | 有的出生于适当的时间地点. |
| 124 | But the problem starts when you use other people's advantages as proof of your own helplessness. | 但问题始于你利用别人的优势来证明你自己无助. |
| 125 | Because you are comparing your entire story to someone else's finished result. | 因为你把你整个故事 和别人的成品比较 |
| 126 | You see someone | 你看到一个人 |
| 127 | earning 100K a month, but you don't see the five years of work behind it. | 一个月赚100K,但你看不到背后的五年工作. |
| 128 | You see a happy relationship, | 你看到一个快乐的关系, |
| 129 | but not how much that person had to learn about communication, about love, trust, bond. | 但不是他必须学习多少 关于沟通, 关于爱,信任,纽带。 |
| 130 | You see a | 你看到一个 |
| 131 | great body, but not the years of training. | 伟大的身体,但不是训练的年代。 |
| 132 | You see a thriving business, but not the 10 failed attempts | 你可以看到一个兴旺的生意,但不是十次失败的尝试 |
| 133 | before it. | 在它开始之前 |
| 134 | And so the comparison becomes very convenient. | 所以比较变得非常方便。 |
| 135 | He got to succeed because he was | 他成功是因为他 |
| 136 | allowed to, and I am not. | 允许,而我不。 |
| 137 | So another red flag is if you turn your past into a life sentence. | 所以另一种红旗是 如果你把你的过去变成终身监禁。 |
| 138 | So this one of the most dangerous patterns. | 所以这是最危险的模式之一。 |
| 139 | For example, you may say, | 比如,你可以说, |
| 140 | Oh, I was betrayed once so I can never trust anyone again. | 哦,我曾经被背叛过,所以我不能再相信任何人了。 |
| 141 | Or I was made fun of so I can't show up | 或者我被嘲笑,所以我不能出现 |
| 142 | Or I had a bad experience so healthy relationship just don't exist for people like me. | 或者我有一个糟糕的经验 所以健康的关系 只是不存在 对于像我这样的人。 |
| 143 | I already | 我已经知道了 |
| 144 | tried and it didn't work. | 尝试了却没成功 |
| 145 | But the past explains your behavior. | 但过去能解释你的行为 |
| 146 | It doesn't have to define your | 不需要定义你 |
| 147 | future. | 未来 |
| 148 | That's a massive difference. | 这是巨大的差异。 |
| 149 | You can honestly say, yes, that happened to me. | 你可以诚实地说,是的,这发生在我身上。 |
| 150 | Yes, | 对 |
| 151 | it affected me. | 它影响了我。 |
| 152 | But now I have to decide what I do next. | 但是现在我必须决定接下来要做什么 |
| 153 | That's a far more mature position than | 这个位置比起 |
| 154 | to convince yourself the past fully controls the present. | 让自己相信过去完全控制着现在 |
| 155 | So the next red flag is the most | 所以,下一个红旗是最多的 |
| 156 | dangerous sentence you may say to yourself. | 你可以对自己说危险的话 |
| 157 | Well, it's just that's who I am and I accept myself. | 我就是这样的人 我接受自己 |
| 158 | I cannot change. | 我不能改变。 |
| 159 | For example, you can say I'm just lazy. | 例如,你可以说我只是懒惰。 |
| 160 | I'm an anxious person or I have this disease | 我是一个焦急的人,或我有这种疾病 |
| 161 | or have this syndrome. | 或者有这种综合症。 |
| 162 | I have this illness. | 我有这种病。 |
| 163 | I don't know how to make money. | 何以得财. |
| 164 | Nobody taught me. | 没人教过我 |
| 165 | I don't know how to build relationship. | 我不知道如何建立关系。 |
| 166 | I always ruin everything. | 我总是毁了一切。 |
| 167 | Do you notice what's happening | 你注意到发生了什么吗? |
| 168 | here? | 这里? |
| 169 | You are turning behavior into identity. | 你正在把行为变成身份 |
| 170 | You are not a lazy person. | 你不是个懒惰的人。 |
| 171 | You have maybe gotten | 你也许得到了 |
| 172 | used to putting things off. | 经常把事情拖下来。 |
| 173 | You're not someone who cannot make money. | 你不是一个不能赚钱的人。 |
| 174 | You maybe don't have the | 你也许没有 |
| 175 | right skills yet. | 正确的技能还没有。 |
| 176 | You're not someone who ruins everything. | 你不是毁了一切的人 |
| 177 | You maybe have certain patterns that | 你也许有一些图案 |
| 178 | repeating, but you can improve yourself. | 重复,但你可以改善自己。 |
| 179 | You can learn. | 你可以学的 |
| 180 | You can go to therapist. | 你可以去看心理医生了 |
| 181 | You can | 你当然可以 |
| 182 | craft your new skills. | 掌握你的新技能 |
| 183 | You can improve yourself. | 你可以改善自己。 |
| 184 | You can become the best version of yourself. | 你可以成为你最好的版本。 |
| 185 | And anything you can call a behavior is something you can change. | 任何你能称之为行为的行为都是可以改变的。 |
| 186 | That's much more powerful | 这更厉害了 |
| 187 | rather than say I just cannot do it, because that's just who I am is that end. | 而不是说我做不到 因为这就是我的目的 |
| 188 | But that's | 不过 |
| 189 | what I'm currently doing is a starting point for change. | 我目前正在做的是改革的起点。 |
| 190 | For example, yes, this happened to me | 比如说,是的,这发生在我身上 |
| 191 | and I don't have particularly these skills or I don't know how to do it yet, but I will learn. | 我没有特别的这些技能 或者我不知道如何做到这一点, 但我会学习。 |
| 192 | I will improve myself and we'll go to the next level in my life. | 我会提高自己,我们将进入我人生的下一个阶段。 |
| 193 | So the next red flag is a very | 所以下一面红旗是非常 |
| 194 | important clarification. | 重要的澄清。 |
| 195 | I want to pause here because this topic gets twisted very easily into | 我想暂停一下 因为这个话题很容易被扭曲 |
| 196 | something toxic. | 有毒的东西。 |
| 197 | If something bad happened to you, it's your own fault. | 如果有坏事发生在你身上 那都是你自己的错 |
| 198 | You may say or you may hurt | 你可能会说,或者你会受伤 |
| 199 | that. | 那个 |
| 200 | No, that is completely false. | 不,这是完全错误的。 |
| 201 | If you were betrayed before, that doesn't mean you are | 如果你之前被出卖了 那并不意味着你是 |
| 202 | responsible for the betrayal completely. | 对背叛负责 |
| 203 | It's not your responsibility. | 这不是你的责任 |
| 204 | If you were deceived, | 如果你被骗了 |
| 205 | the responsibility for the deception sits with the person who lied. | 欺骗的责任在于撒谎的人。 |
| 206 | If you were unfairly fired, | 如果你被不公平地开除 |
| 207 | that doesn't mean you owe it to yourself to find some hidden flaw in you. | 这并不意味着你欠自己的 找出你隐藏的缺陷。 |
| 208 | If someone caused you | 如果有人导致你 |
| 209 | harm, you're not required to take responsibility for their actions. | 伤害,你不需要承担 他们的行为的责任。 |
| 210 | Responsibility and blame are | 责任和责备 |
| 211 | not the same thing and this is very important to understand. | 事情不是这样的 这很重要 要明白 |
| 212 | You can be completely innocent in what | 你可以完全无辜的什么 |
| 213 | happened to you and still be responsible for what you do next. | 发生在你身上,你仍然要为接下来的事负责 |
| 214 | That is an incredibly powerful | 这是一个令人难以置信的力量 |
| 215 | position to hold. | 保持立场。 |
| 216 | Not, oh, it's my fault, but it was my fault, but this is my life now, but I want | 不,哦,是我的错,但它是我的错, 但这是我的生活现在,但我想 |
| 217 | to figure it out and I want to know what I can do with that. | 我想知道我能做些什么 |
| 218 | Another red flag is how do you know | 另一个红旗 你怎么知道 |
| 219 | you've actually left the victim role? | 你真的离开了受害者的角色? |
| 220 | So here is a simple test which you can do. | 因此,这里是一个简单的测试 你可以做的。 |
| 221 | When a problem | 当有问题时 |
| 222 | happens, ask yourself three things. | 发生,问自己三件事。 |
| 223 | Number one, what actually happened? | 第一,到底发生了什么? |
| 224 | No drama, just the facts. | 没有戏剧,只是事实。 |
| 225 | You can also write it down. | 也可以写下来. |
| 226 | Sometimes it works better. | 有时效果更好. |
| 227 | Second, what part of this was outside my | 第二,这是什么部分 在我之外 |
| 228 | control? | 控制吗? |
| 229 | This matters because you are not required to control everything. | 这很重要,因为你不需要控制一切。 |
| 230 | And third, what is currently | 第三,现在是什么 |
| 231 | inside my control? | 在我的控制之下吗? |
| 232 | Here is where it gets interesting. | 这就是它变得有趣的地方。 |
| 233 | For example, you may say, oh, I got fired | 比如说,我被解雇了 |
| 234 | outside your control, the company's decision, the boss decision, inside your control, updating your | 公司的决定 老板的决定 在你的控制范围内 更新你 |
| 235 | resume, talking to people in your industry, sending out 10 applications a day, building a skill | 恢复,和你行业的人交谈,每天发送10份申请,培养技能 |
| 236 | the market actually needs. | 市场实际上需要。 |
| 237 | An example, another one, I got dumped outside your control, | 一个例子,另一个,我被抛弃 在你的控制之外, |
| 238 | the other person's choice, inside your control, actually processing the breakup, not begging for | 别人的选择,在你控制范围内, 实际处理分手,而不是乞求 |
| 239 | them to come back, checking your boundaries, understanding your own limits. | 他们回来,检查你的界限, 了解自己的界限。 |
| 240 | Another example, | 另一个例子是, |
| 241 | I don't earn enough outside your control, the market, inside your control, your skills, | 我赚的钱不够 你控制之外,市场, 在你的控制,你的技能, |
| 242 | how many attempts you make, negotiation, finding new clients, changing companies, building extra | 你做了多少尝试, 谈判,寻找新的客户, 改变公司, 建设额外的 |
| 243 | income stream. | 收入来源。 |
| 244 | So this doesn't mean everything suddenly becomes easy. | 所以这并不意味着一切突然变得容易。 |
| 245 | It means you now have a | 这意味着你现在有了 |
| 246 | specific place to actually put your energy. | 具体地点可以实际投入你的能量. |
| 247 | Another red flag, which is also a very powerful | 又一面红旗,也是很厉害的 |
| 248 | question, if you may have it, what am I getting out of this problem? | 问,如果你可能拥有它, 我有什么能摆脱这个问题? |
| 249 | Actually, like what? | 实际上,像什么? |
| 250 | This | 这个 |
| 251 | one sounds very harsh, but it can be incredibly useful. | 听起来非常严酷,但它可能非常有用。 |
| 252 | You may say, I don't start a business | 你可以说 我不创业 |
| 253 | because I'm afraid of failing. | 因为我怕失败 |
| 254 | What are you getting from that? | 你从中得到什么? |
| 255 | Safety. | 安全无虞. |
| 256 | Okay, another one, | 好,再来一个 |
| 257 | I don't live a bad relationship because I'm afraid of being alone. | 关系不好,因为害怕一个人生活. |
| 258 | What are you getting? | 你得到什么了吗? |
| 259 | Predictability, safety, that you are not alone. | 可预测性,安全性, 说你不是孤独的。 |
| 260 | Another question, I keep complaining about my job, | 另一个问题,我一直抱怨我的工作, |
| 261 | but never change anything. | 但永远不要改变任何事情。 |
| 262 | What are you getting? | 你得到什么了吗? |
| 263 | The ability to avoid taking a risk. | 避免冒险的能力。 |
| 264 | Another | 又一个 |
| 265 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我一直说什么也做不了 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我一直说 | |
| 266 | for me. | 对我来说。 |
| 267 | What does that give you? | 这给你带来什么? |
| 268 | If you never try, you never technically fail. | 如果你从未尝试, 你从来没有在技术上失败。 |
| 269 | Sometimes, | 有时 |
| 270 | victim mentality isn't only about suffering. | 受害人的心态不仅仅是痛苦 |
| 271 | It's also about protecting yourself from risk, | 这也是为了保护自己免受风险 |
| 272 | because as long as you are a victim of circumstances, you never have to find out | 因为只要你是一个受害者, 你永远不会发现 |
| 273 | what you are actually capable of. | 你实际上有能力。 |
| 274 | Our brain protects ourself, because again, our brain | 我们的大脑保护着我们自己 因为我们的大脑 |
| 275 | needs to survive and protect our bodies. | 需要生存和保护我们的身体。 |
| 276 | That's why we have this safety and control from our brain. | 所以我们才有这种安全控制 |
| 277 | So, here are a few more practical tools you can start using right away. | 所以,这里有一些更实用的工具 你可以马上开始使用。 |
| 278 | The first one, | 第一个 |
| 279 | the evidence journal. | 证据日记。 |
| 280 | For one week, write down every time you catch yourself saying, | 一个星期,每次你发现自己说, |
| 281 | I can't, or it's their fault or someone's fault. | 我不能 不然就是他们的错 或是别人的错 |
| 282 | At the end of the week, read it back. | 周末,复读之. |
| 283 | Patterns you couldn't see day to day become obvious once they are on paper. | 纸上日复一日的图案变得很明显 |
| 284 | I, for example, | 举例来说, |
| 285 | have my journal and I write there almost every day and then I read it and I understand what was | 有我的日记,我几乎每天都在那里写, 然后我读它,我理解是什么 |
| 286 | wrong. | 错 |
| 287 | The 1% rule. | 1%的规则。 |
| 288 | You don't need a complete life overhaul. | 你不需要彻底的整顿生活 |
| 289 | You need 1% of action in the direction | 您需要1%的动作方向 |
| 290 | you want. | 你想吗? |
| 291 | Send one job application, have one honest conversation, say no once. | 发送一个工作申请, 有一个诚实的对话, 说不一次。 |
| 292 | Small repeated | 小规模重复 |
| 293 | actions revive the belief that you have to control faster than one big dramatic change ever could. | 行动唤醒了人们的信念,即你必须更快地控制一个巨大的变化。 |
| 294 | Another technique. | 另一种技术。 |
| 295 | Name the story, not just the feeling. | 说出故事,不只是感觉 |
| 296 | Instead of just feeling stuck, | 而不是只是感觉卡住了, |
| 297 | try saying out of loud. | 试着大声说 |
| 298 | I'm currently telling myself the story that nothing will change. | 我目前正在告诉自己 故事不会改变。 |
| 299 | Naming | 命名 |
| 300 | it as a story, not a fact, creates just enough distance to question it. | 它是一个故事,而不是一个事实, 创造出足够的距离来质疑它。 |
| 301 | Another one. | 又一个. |
| 302 | Separate | 分开 |
| 303 | the event from the meaning. | 事件的意义。 |
| 304 | I got rejected is an event. | 我被拒绝了,这是一个事件。 |
| 305 | I always get rejected because I'm not good | 我总是因为我不好而被拒绝 |
| 306 | enough. | 够了。 |
| 307 | Is a meaning you attach to it. | 你对它感兴趣 |
| 308 | Events are natural, meanings are optional and you are | 事情是自然的,意思是可选的,你也是 |
| 309 | allowed to choose a different one. | 允许选择不同的。 |
| 310 | Another technique. | 另一种技术。 |
| 311 | Watch your language with other people. | 注意你和其他人的语言 |
| 312 | Victim mentality often shows up in a casual conversation before you even notice it in | 受害人的心态经常出现在随便的谈话中,而你还没注意到 |
| 313 | yourself. | 你自己来 |
| 314 | Of course, that happened to me. | 当然,这发生在我身上。 |
| 315 | Nothing ever works out for me. | 没有什么适合我的。 |
| 316 | Catching it out loud is | 大声抓住它就是 |
| 317 | easier than catching it in your own head. | 比在自己脑袋里抓住它容易得多 |
| 318 | So make sure to listen and remember what actually you're | 所以,确保倾听 并记住你实际上是什么 |
| 319 | saying to other people. | 对别人说 |
| 320 | So let's talk about how to actually start getting out of this victim mentality | 让我们来谈谈如何真正 开始摆脱这个受害者心态 |
| 321 | mindset. | 心态。 |
| 322 | You don't need to wake up one day as a super productive person who never complains again. | 你不需要有一天醒来 作为一个超级有生产力的人 再也不抱怨。 |
| 323 | That's not realistic and it's not the goal. | 这不是现实,也不是目标。 |
| 324 | Start with one small shift. | 从一个小班开始。 |
| 325 | Every time you | 每次你都这样 |
| 326 | catch yourself saying, oh, I can't because, but, but I can do this and this and this. | 发现自己说,哦,我不能 因为,但, 但我可以做到这一点,这个和这个。 |
| 327 | Every time | 每次都这样 |
| 328 | you catch yourself saying, I can't quit right now, but I can start looking for a new job. | 你说我现在不能辞职 但我可以开始找新工作了 |
| 329 | I can change the past, but I can change my behavior starting now. | 我可以改变过去 但我可以改变我的行为 |
| 330 | I can't force someone | 我不能强迫别人 |
| 331 | to treat me well, but I can decide whether I stay with this person or not. | 但我能决定我是否和这个人在一起 |
| 332 | I cannot control the | 我无法控制 |
| 333 | but I can't control how many attempts I make. | 但我不能控制 我做了多少尝试。 |
| 334 | It's a small language habit, but it very quickly | 这是一个小语言习惯,但它很快 |
| 335 | shows you exactly where the real problem ends and where the feeling of helplessness begins. | 告诉你真正的问题在哪里结束 和无助的感觉在哪里开始。 |
| 336 | Victim mentality isn't about being in pain. | 受害者心理不是在痛苦中。 |
| 337 | It's not about complaining. | 这不是关于抱怨。 |
| 338 | It's not about asking for | 这不是要求 |
| 339 | help and it's definitely not about something truly terrible having happened to you. | 帮助,这绝对不是关于 一些真正可怕的事情发生在你身上。 |
| 340 | Victim mentality | 受害者心态 |
| 341 | begins the moment your story turns into this happens to me so there is nothing I can do. | 一旦你的故事变成这样 我就无能为力了 |
| 342 | And here is the thought I want you to hold onto. | 这就是我要你坚持的想法。 |
| 343 | You don't have to be guilty of what happened to | 你不必为这起事件负责 |
| 344 | you in the past in order to be responsible for what happens next. | 你过去是为了对接下来发生的事负责 |
| 345 | You might have been | 你可能已经 |
| 346 | dealt a bad hand. | 做了一个坏手。 |
| 347 | You might have started from a much harder position. | 你可能从更难的地方开始的 |
| 348 | You might genuinely have had | 你也许真的有 |
| 349 | less luck than other people and it's okay. | 运气比别人少,没关系 |
| 350 | But the question isn't only what cards you were dealt. | 但问题不只在于你被发什么牌 |
| 351 | The question is what are you going to do with the cards you're holding right now. | 问题是你现在拿着的牌要做什么 |
| 352 | And maybe | 也许 |
| 353 | the mature position isn't saying I made my whole life exactly what it is. | 成熟的姿势并不是说 我使我的整个生活完全如此。 |
| 354 | Maybe it's saying not | 也许这是说不行 |
| 355 | everything in my life was under my control, but starting now I want to take back at least | 我的生活一切都在我的控制之下, 但从现在开始,我想收回至少 |
| 356 | what actually belongs to me. | 真正属于我的东西 |
| 357 | I want to take responsibilities because the real way out of | 我想承担责任 因为真正的出路 |
| 358 | the victim role isn't turning around and blaming yourself instead. | 受害者的角色没有转身 责怪自己。 |
| 359 | It's stepping out of the weight, | 它从重量中脱落, |
| 360 | the weight for someone else to finally come and fix it for you. | 其他人的重量 终于来为你修复它。 |
| 361 | If any of these red flags felt | 如果有任何这些红旗感觉 |
| 362 | familiar please leave a comment below and please tell me which one you recognized in your pattern. | 请在下面留下一个评论 告诉我你在模式中认得哪个 |
| 363 | I read every single one. | 我每本都读过 |
| 364 | I want you to take control of your own life. | 我要你控制好自己的生活 |
| 365 | Stop protecting a role | 停止保护一个角色 |
| 366 | which is victim mentality that was never really keeping you safe in the first place. | 这是受害者心态 从来没有真正保障你的安全 首先。 |
| 367 | And if you're | 狦琌 |
| 368 | currently struggling with a situation that feels overwhelming please consider reaching out to a | 目前正处于一种令人无法抗拒的境地,请考虑寻求 |
| 369 | therapist, counselor or someone you trust. | 治疗师、顾问或你信任的人 |
| 370 | You deserve support and please remember you're not | 你应该得到支持 请记住你不是 |
| 371 | alone. | 一个人 |
| 372 | We're all here. | 我们都在这里。 |
| 373 | Thank you for being here. | 谢谢你能来 |
| 374 | Please subscribe to see our next video where we | 请订阅,看看我们的下一个视频 |
| 375 | about manipulation and how to protect yourself from manipulation. | 如何保护自己免受操纵 |
| 376 | So please stay healthy | 所以请保持健康 |
| 377 | physically and mentally. | 身心众生. |
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