【中英】男女之间的差异是什么
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | difference between men and women. | 男女之间的差别。 |
| 0:01 | How do they differ? | 他们有什么不同? |
| 0:03 | Well, the first thing we might observe is that if you look at personality differences | 那么,我们可能观察到的第一件事是, 如果你看个性差异 |
| 0:07 | between pre-pubescent boys and girls, they're not very large. | 幼年前的男孩和女孩, 他们并不很大。 |
| 0:11 | Boys and girls don't differ in terms of their trait neuroticism, for example. | 例如,男孩和女孩在特征神经病方面并无不同。 |
| 0:16 | What happens is that when puberty kicks in, women's trait neuroticism rises, | 发生的事情是,当青春期开始, 女性的特征神经病上升, |
| 0:21 | and it stays higher than men for the rest of their life. | 一辈子都比男人高 |
| 0:24 | And this is why you see this reflected in the different kinds of psychopathology that beset the two sexes. | 这就是为什么你看到它体现在 困扰两性的不同类型的精神病学中。 |
| 0:29 | So men are over-represented in alcoholism, drug abuse, antisocial personality, | 因此,男性在酗酒,吸毒,反社会人格中的比例过高. |
| 0:34 | and a host of learning disorders, as well as attention deficit disorder. | 和大量学习障碍, 以及注意力不足障碍。 |
展开字幕全文（248 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | difference between men and women. | 男女之间的差别。 |
| 2 | How do they differ? | 他们有什么不同? |
| 3 | Well, the first thing we might observe is that if you look at personality differences | 那么,我们可能观察到的第一件事是, 如果你看个性差异 |
| 4 | between pre-pubescent boys and girls, they're not very large. | 幼年前的男孩和女孩, 他们并不很大。 |
| 5 | Boys and girls don't differ in terms of their trait neuroticism, for example. | 例如,男孩和女孩在特征神经病方面并无不同。 |
| 6 | What happens is that when puberty kicks in, women's trait neuroticism rises, | 发生的事情是,当青春期开始, 女性的特征神经病上升, |
| 7 | and it stays higher than men for the rest of their life. | 一辈子都比男人高 |
| 8 | And this is why you see this reflected in the different kinds of psychopathology that beset the two sexes. | 这就是为什么你看到它体现在 困扰两性的不同类型的精神病学中。 |
| 9 | So men are over-represented in alcoholism, drug abuse, antisocial personality, | 因此,男性在酗酒,吸毒,反社会人格中的比例过高. |
| 10 | and a host of learning disorders, as well as attention deficit disorder. | 和大量学习障碍, 以及注意力不足障碍。 |
| 11 | And women are over-represented in depression and anxiety, primarily. | 而在抑郁症和焦虑症中,妇女比例过高。 |
| 12 | That seems to be tightly associated with higher levels of trait neuroticism. | 这似乎与更高水平的特质神经病密切相关。 |
| 13 | Because maybe it's, if you're at the 95th percentile or higher, let's say, in trait neuroticism, | 因为也许,如果你在95百分位以上, 让我们说,在特质神经病, |
| 14 | there isn't much difference between that and being somewhat prone to depression and anxiety. | 这和容易抑郁和焦虑之间没什么区别 |
| 15 | And because the curves overlap, the curves aren't identical. | 而由于曲线重叠,曲线并不相同. |
| 16 | The normal distributions aren't identical for men and women. | 正常的分布与男女不同. |
| 17 | You tilt the one to the right, the women's curve to the right, towards higher levels of neuroticism. | 你将一个向右倾斜, 女人的曲线向右倾斜, 向更高的神经病水平倾斜。 |
| 18 | You go out and you look for the person in 20 who has the highest levels of negative emotion. | 你出去找20个情绪最低的人 |
| 19 | It's much more likely to be female than male. | 雌性比雄性要多得多. |
| 20 | Okay, so let's see if we can figure out why. | 好吧,让我们来看看 如果我们能找出原因。 |
| 21 | So I'm going to tell you some things, basic differences between men and women, | 所以,我要告诉你一些事情, 基本的男女差异, |
| 22 | and you can tell me what you think about it if you agree or disagree. | 你可以告诉我你的想法 如果你同意或不同意。 |
| 23 | Okay, first, size differential emerges between men and women at puberty, right? | 好吧 首先 青春期时 男人和女人的体型有差别 对吧 |
| 24 | Because boys and girls are roughly the same size and roughly the same strength, | 因为男孩和女孩的大小和体力都差不多 |
| 25 | but men get bigger at puberty when the testosterone kicks in. | 但当睾丸酮进入青春期时 男人会变大 |
| 26 | And more importantly, not only do they get taller and heavier, | 更重要的是,它们不仅越高越重 |
| 27 | but their upper body strength is much higher. | 但他们的上身力量要高得多 |
| 28 | And that's a real issue for combat, because human beings punch. | 这才是真正的战斗问题 因为人类会打人 |
| 29 | There's other animals that do that. | 还有其它动物也这样做. |
| 30 | Kangaroos do that too, eh? | 袋鼠也这样做,是吧? |
| 31 | So we're not the only people that punch, but we have clubs on the ends of our arms. | 所以,我们不是唯一的人 拳,但我们有俱乐部 在我们的手臂端。 |
| 32 | And so that's how we defend ourselves. | 所以这就是我们如何保护自己。 |
| 33 | And so if you have a lot of upper body strength, especially across the shoulders, | 所以如果你拥有很多的上体力 特别是肩部 |
| 34 | and you're heavier, then you can step into the punch, and it's a lot more devastating. | 你更重,然后你可以 踩到拳头, 它的破坏性更大。 |
| 35 | Now, it is the case that if you look at the statistics for physical altercations in marriage, | 现在的情况是,如果你看看 婚姻中身体纠纷的统计数据, |
| 36 | women attack their husbands more often than the husbands attack their wives. | 妇女攻击丈夫的次数多于丈夫攻击妻子的次数。 |
| 37 | Well, you think, why is that? | 你觉得为什么? |
| 38 | Well, let's assume that there isn't any reason other than both people in a relationship can get upset, | 那么,让我们假设,除了 两个人在关系上会生气, |
| 39 | and the women know that if they hit their husbands, nothing's really going to happen. | 女人知道,如果她们打她们的丈夫, 没有什么会真的发生。 |
| 40 | Because if you're a woman about that high, and your husband is, say, my height, | 因为如果你是一个女人 大约那么高, 你的丈夫是,说,我的高, |
| 41 | unless you hit me with an object or something that's sharp, | 除非你用尖锐的东西打我 |
| 42 | the probability that you're going to do me any serious damage is pretty low. | 你对我造成严重损害的概率很低 |
| 43 | You might hurt me. | 你可能会伤害我 |
| 44 | But if I do the reverse and hit you, and I really hit you, | 但如果我倒着打你 我真的打你 |
| 45 | and so the reason, at least one of the reasons, why women can be more physically aggressive | 所以,至少其中一个原因, 女人可以更攻击身体 |
| 46 | in minor ways in a relationship is because everyone knows, the wife and the husband equally, | 在恋爱中,因为每个人都知道, 妻子和丈夫, |
| 47 | that the consequence of the physical aggression is much more limited. | 身体攻击的后果要有限得多。 |
| 48 | So men do more serious damage to women, but women are more aggressive in relationships. | 因此,男性对女性的伤害更为严重,但女性在交往中则更为凶猛. |
| 49 | So that's interesting. | 所以这很有趣。 |
| 50 | So okay, so there's a body size difference that's important, a strength differential that's important. | 所以,身体的大小差异很重要, 强度差异很重要。 |
| 51 | Next thing, I think. | 接下来,我想。 |
| 52 | So let's assume that the reason that women are higher in sensitivity to negative emotion | 假设女人对负面情绪的敏感度更高的原因 |
| 53 | is because the world is actually more dangerous to women, right? | 因为世界对妇女来说更危险 对吧? |
| 54 | Because that would be the most logical reason why there would be a sex difference | 因为那是最合乎逻辑的原因 才会有性别差异 |
| 55 | in something like fear or sensitivity to punishment. | 像恐惧或对惩罚的敏感。 |
| 56 | Well, first, there's the danger of physical altercation. | 首先,有 物理争吵的危险。 |
| 57 | Second, there's the sexual danger. | 第二有性险. |
| 58 | So women become sexually vulnerable at puberty. | 因此,妇女在青春期变得性脆弱。 |
| 59 | And why do I say vulnerable? | 为什么我要说脆弱? |
| 60 | Well, it's straightforward. | 嗯,这是直接的。 |
| 61 | It's because the cost of sex for women is way higher than it is for men. | 这是因为女性的性成本远高于男性. |
| 62 | And it certainly has been throughout our evolutionary history. | 当然,它一直贯穿于我们的进化史。 |
| 63 | Because if a man has an unwanted sexual encounter, well, then he walks away | 因为如果一个男人有不想要的性遭遇 那么,他走了 |
| 64 | and maybe he's persecuted by the state or prosecuted by the state for it. | 也许他受到国家的迫害 或者被国家起诉 |
| 65 | But if a woman has an unwanted, unwarranted, or incautious sexual encounter | 但是如果一个女人有不想要的 无理的 或粗鲁的性接触 |
| 66 | and she ends up pregnant, then, well, in traditional societies, you're just done. | 最后她怀孕了 在传统社会中 你完了 |
| 67 | And even in modern societies that are rich like ours, I don't have to go into that. | 即使在像我们这样富有的现代社会, 我也不用去。 |
| 68 | It's big trouble. | 是大烦恼. |
| 69 | No matter what you do about it, it's big trouble. | 不论所为,皆为大难. |
| 70 | So being more nervous about that makes perfect sense. | 所以更紧张 这一点是完全合理的。 |
| 71 | But then here's the last thing. | 但这是最后一件事 |
| 72 | And I think that women's nervous systems are not adapted to women. | 我认为女性的神经系统 不适合女性。 |
| 73 | I think women's nervous systems are adapted to the mother-infant dyad. | 我觉得女人的神经系统 是适应母婴的 |
| 74 | Because you are not the same creature when you have an infant. | 因为你有孩子的时候不是同一个生物 |
| 75 | Not at all. | 一点也不 |
| 76 | You're way more vulnerable. | 你更脆弱。 |
| 77 | And it's partly because you have to express the vulnerability of the infant | 这部分是因为你必须表达 婴儿的脆弱性 |
| 78 | and you also have to care for it, right? | 你也要照顾它,对吧? |
| 79 | So you think about an infant, especially under nine months. | 所以你想到一个婴儿,特别是9个月以下。 |
| 80 | So let's say, how are you going to be wired up if you're going to optimally care | 因此,让我们假设,你将如何被窃听 如果你要去最好的关心 |
| 81 | for an infant under nine months? | 一个9个月以下的婴儿? |
| 82 | And I'm saying under nine months because women generally do the bulk of childcare | 我意思是九个月以下 因为女人通常做大部分的育儿工作 |
| 83 | for infants who are under nine months old. | 给9个月以下的婴儿。 |
| 84 | And part of the reason for that, there's a whole host of reasons, | 部分原因 有很多原因 |
| 85 | but part of the reasons for that, obviously, is that they breastfeed. | 但其中一部分原因,很明显, 他们的母乳喂养。 |
| 86 | But imagine what you need to be wired up biologically in order to care for an infant. | 但想象一下,为了照顾婴儿,你需要用生物连接。 |
| 87 | First of all, they're very demanding, right? | 首先,他们要求很高,对吧? |
| 88 | Because they're completely helpless. | 因为他们完全无助 |
| 89 | And they're demanding 24 hours a day. | 他们要求一天24小时。 |
| 90 | And it's quite an emotional load. | 和相当的情感负荷。 |
| 91 | And an infant under nine months is never wrong, right? | 一个不到九个月的婴儿 永远不会出错 对吧? |
| 92 | What you do to an infant under nine months is when they're in distress, | 你对9个月以下的婴儿所做的 就是当他们处于困境时 |
| 93 | you always respond. | 你总是回应。 |
| 94 | You never tell the infant, get your act together and stop whining, right? | 你从不告诉孩子 振作起来 别抱怨了 对吧? |
| 95 | Which you can do, say, to a child that's 18 months old. | 你可以做,说, 对于一个孩子 18个月大。 |
| 96 | You can start having that sort of conversation. | 你可以开始这种对话。 |
| 97 | But under nine months, it's like nothing is the infant's fault. | 但不到九个月,就好像没有东西是婴儿的错. |
| 98 | It's surrounded in an extraordinarily threatening world. | 它被包围在一个非常危险的世界里 |
| 99 | And you have to be responsive to what it needs, regardless of what you want. | 无论你想要什么,你都必须对它的需求作出反应。 |
| 100 | And you have to be very sensitive to the threats that emerge in the environment. | 你必须非常敏感地对待环境中出现的威胁。 |
| 101 | And so I think the price that women pay for that ability to have an intimate | 所以我想,女人付出的代价 能够拥有亲密 |
| 102 | relationship with infants in the very earliest stages of development is that | 发育初期与婴儿的关系是: |
| 103 | their nervous systems are actually wired so that they can perform that role optimally. | 他们的神经系统被连接起来 这样他们才能最佳地发挥这个作用 |
| 104 | And the disadvantage to that is that having a temperament like that doesn't work | 缺点是脾气不好 |
| 105 | that well when you're dealing with adult men, especially when you're dealing | 当你和成年男子打交道的时候 特别是当你在交往的时候 |
| 106 | with them in a business environment, because it's not the same thing. | 和他们在商业环境中, 因为这不是一回事。 |
| 107 | Not at all. | 一点也不 |
| 108 | It's a competitive environment. | 竞争环境. |
| 109 | So, okay, so agreeable people are compassionate and polite. | 所以,好吧,那么受欢迎的人 是同情和礼貌的。 |
| 110 | What are disagreeable people like? | 什么样的人不满意? |
| 111 | They're tough-minded. | 其心坚固. |
| 112 | They're blunt. | 二者钝. |
| 113 | They're competitive. | 他们是竞争对手。 |
| 114 | And they won't do a damn thing they don't want to do. | 他们不会做他们不想做的事 |
| 115 | So it isn't exactly that they're aggressive, although they will push you the hell out of their way | 虽然他们会把你推开的 |
| 116 | if you're in the way. | 如果你妨碍。 |
| 117 | They're not like volatile like you are if you're high in neuroticism. | 他们不像你那样易挥发 如果你是神经病高发的 |
| 118 | It isn't defensive aggression. | 这不是防御性侵略。 |
| 119 | It's more like predatory aggression. | 这更像是掠夺性侵略 |
| 120 | It's dominance behavior. | 这是统治行为。 |
| 121 | And so for someone who's highly disagreeable, they look at the world as a place | 所以对于一个很不满意的人来说 他们把世界看成一个地方 |
| 122 | in which they can compete and win. | 他们可以在其中竞争和获胜。 |
| 123 | And I'll tell you a story. | 我会告诉你一个故事。 |
| 124 | I have a friend, I gave him my personality test, the big five aspect scale that Colin DeYoung | 我有一个朋友,我给了他我的个性测试, 科林·德·杨的五大尺寸 |
| 125 | developed in my lab. | 在我的实验室里开发的 |
| 126 | And I knew he was a disagreeable guy by interacting with him. | 我知道他和他交往 是个很不愉快的人 |
| 127 | I mean, he's even rude to people sort of spontaneously on the street. | 他甚至对街上的人很粗鲁 |
| 128 | I actually like him quite a bit. | 我真的很喜欢他 |
| 129 | He's very, very funny. | 他非常,非常的有趣。 。 。 |
| 130 | He's also very conscientious, so you can trust him. | 他也很认真,所以你可以信任他 |
| 131 | But it's disagreeable as hell. | 但它是令人讨厌的地狱。 |
| 132 | And so I gave him this test because I thought it would be funny. | 所以我给了他这个测试 因为我觉得会很有趣。 |
| 133 | And he came out as the most disagreeable person in 10,000. | 他以万分之一最不满意的人的身份出来 |
| 134 | So reasonably reasonable in compassion, about 30th percentile, but like 0.001 in politeness. | 所以在同情心上是合理合理的, 大约百分之三十, 但像0.001 在礼貌上。 |
| 135 | So he's extraordinarily blunt. | 所以他很钝 |
| 136 | And he'll just say absolutely anything no matter how horrible it is. | 不管有多可怕 他都会说出一切 |
| 137 | And he was often brought into corporations to sort of clean them up. | 他经常被带进公司去清理 |
| 138 | So if a corporation was tilting and not doing well, they'd bring him in to find out who | 所以,如果一个公司倾斜 和做不好, 他们会带他进来 找出谁 |
| 139 | the useless people were and fire them. | 没用的民众被炒了 |
| 140 | And I talked to him about that because I've had the missed opportunity to have to not | 我和他谈过了 因为我错过了机会 |
| 141 | graduate students in my lab, for example, that weren't performing well. | 比如我实验室的研究生表现不好 |
| 142 | And I'd find it very, very difficult to dress someone down and certainly difficult to fire them. | 我发现很难把某人打扮下来 很难解雇他们 |
| 143 | I just hate it because I'm actually quite an agreeable person, much to my chagrin. | 我只是讨厌它,因为我其实是一个 相当同意的人, 在我的查格林。 |
| 144 | And I asked him about that and I said, well, what do you do? | 我问他这件事 我说 你做什么的? |
| 145 | You have to fire people all the time. | 须常炒人. |
| 146 | How do you handle that? | 你怎么处理的? |
| 147 | He says, handle it. | 他说,处理它。 |
| 148 | I enjoy it. | 我喜欢它。 |
| 149 | And I thought, wow, that's so interesting that someone would have that response. | 我想,哇,这太有趣了 有人会有这样的反应。 |
| 150 | I said, well, what do you mean you enjoy it? | 我说,你喜欢是什么意思? |
| 151 | He said, look, I go into these companies and I analyze the performance of groups of people. | 他说,你看,我进入了这些公司, 我分析了人群的表现。 |
| 152 | And in those groups, there are people who are really striving, really trying hard and | 在那些团体中,有人 真正努力,真正努力, |
| 153 | working themselves really hard and being productive. | 工作很努力,很有成效。 |
| 154 | And then there's these people that are just doing nothing. | 还有这些人什么也不做。 |
| 155 | They're completely in the way. | 他们完全妨碍。 |
| 156 | They don't carry their weight at all. | 它们完全不携带重量. |
| 157 | They take advantage every chance they get. | 他们利用一切机会 |
| 158 | And they're always whining about why they can't work. | 他们总是抱怨为什么不能工作。 |
| 159 | It's like, I find out who they are. | 这就像,我发现他们是谁。 |
| 160 | I call them into my office and I tell them exactly what they've been doing. | 我打电话给他们到我的办公室 告诉他们他们在做什么 |
| 161 | It's like, hit the road, buddy. | 这就像,上路,伙计。 |
| 162 | You've had your run of it. | 你已经得到了你的运行。 |
| 163 | And I thought, oh, yeah, OK, fair enough. | 我想,哦,是的,好吧,很公平。 |
| 164 | Well, I can tell you. | 我可以告诉你 |
| 165 | I've had situations in my lab where I had underperforming graduate students. | 实验室里有我表现不佳的研究生 |
| 166 | And one of the things that was really awful about that was that it was really hard on | 而其中一件非常可怕的事情是 它真的很困难 |
| 167 | the high performing graduate students because they felt that even being in the same | 表现优异的研究生 因为他们觉得即使处于同样的状态 |
| 168 | category as the people who weren't working hard and pulling their weight, | 属于那些不努力工作的人 并拉他们的体重, |
| 169 | devalued what they were doing. | 贬低了他们在做什么。 |
| 170 | And that's exactly right. | 这是正确的。 |
| 171 | And so this is also why there's a conscientiousness trait and an agreeableness | 这也是为什么有良心的特质和可接受性 |
| 172 | Because conscientious people judge you on your accomplishments, right? | 因为出于良心的人会根据你的成就来判断你 对吧? |
| 173 | They don't give a damn about your feelings. | 他们根本不在乎你的感受 |
| 174 | Not a bit. | 没有一点。 |
| 175 | It's like, are you doing the work or not? | 这就像,你是在做 工作与否? |
| 176 | Whereas agreeable people think, well, you know, your mother is sick and you've got | 虽然人们觉得,嗯,你知道, 你妈妈病了,你有 |
| 177 | a bunch of family problems and we all have to take care of each other. | 一堆家庭问题 我们都得互相照顾 |
| 178 | And it's no wonder that you're having a rough time. | 且道难陀. |
| 179 | And you can't say that one of those attitudes is correct and the other isn't correct. | 你不能说其中一种态度是正确的,另一种态度是不正确的。 |
| 180 | You can't say that. | 你不能这么说。 |
| 181 | There wouldn't be those two dimensions if there wasn't something correct about both | 如果两个维度都不对的话 |
| 182 | of them. | 他们。 |
| 183 | But you can certainly point out that often they conflict, you know, | 但你可以肯定地指出, 他们经常冲突,你知道, |
| 184 | and so the demand for inclusiveness and unity and care and the demand for high | 因此,需要包容、团结和关爱,需要高度 |
| 185 | level performance in a hierarchical structure. | 等级结构中的级别性能。 |
| 186 | They're very different orientations in the world. | 它们在世界上的取向非常不同. |
| 187 | And so it's complicated for people who are agreeable and conscientious. | 对那些能接受和认真的人来说,这很复杂。 |
| 188 | And actually, I think often that large corporations, large institutions of any | 事实上,我常常认为 大公司, 大机构的任何 |
| 189 | sort run on the unheralded labor of people who are high in agreeableness and high in | 以高贵的、高贵的、 |
| 190 | conscientiousness and they're disproportionately women. | 良心和她们都是不成比例的女人 |
| 191 | My experience in large institutions has been that if you want to hire someone to | 我在大机构的经验是 如果你想雇人 |
| 192 | exploit appropriately, no, not appropriately, if you want to hire someone to exploit | 如果想雇人来剥削 |
| 193 | productively, you hire middle aged women who are hyper conscientious and who are | 从事生产性工作的中年妇女,如果是高度自觉的,或者 |
| 194 | agreeable because they'll do everything. | 同意,因为他们会做任何事情。 |
| 195 | They won't take credit for it and they won't complain. | 他们不会因此得名,也不会抱怨. |
| 196 | And that's nasty. | 这太恶心了 |
| 197 | And I think that happens all the time. | 我认为这经常发生。 |
| 198 | And so one of the things you have to be careful of if you're agreeable is not to | 所以,如果你同意的话,你必须小心一件事,就是不要 |
| 199 | be exploited because you'll line up to be exploited. | 会被剥削 因为你会排队被剥削 |
| 200 | And I think the reason for that is because you're wired to be exploited by infants. | 我认为,原因 是因为你被窃听 被婴儿剥削。 |
| 201 | And so that just doesn't work so well in that actual world. | 这样在现实世界里就不会那么顺利 |
| 202 | And one of the things, one of the things that happens very often in psychotherapy, | 其中一件事情 经常发生在心理治疗中 |
| 203 | you know, people come to psychotherapy for multiple reasons. | 你知道,人们来 心理治疗有多种原因。 |
| 204 | But one of them is they often come because they're too agreeable. | 但其中之一是他们经常来,因为他们太容易接受. |
| 205 | And so what they get is so-called assertiveness training, although it's not | 所以,他们得到的是所谓的自信训练, 虽然这不是 |
| 206 | exactly assertiveness that's being trained. | 完全坚定,这是正在训练。 |
| 207 | What it is, is the ability to learn how to negotiate on your own behalf. | 它是什么,是学习如何代表自己进行谈判的能力。 |
| 208 | And one of the things I tell agreeable people, especially if they're conscientious, | 还有一件事我告诉了人们, 特别是如果他们有良心, |
| 209 | is say what you think. | 是说出你的想法。 |
| 210 | Tell the truth about what you think. | 说实话,你的想法。 |
| 211 | There's going to be things you think that you think are nasty and harsh. | 将会有你认为 恶心和严酷的东西。 |
| 212 | And they probably are nasty and harsh, but they're also probably true. | 他们可能很讨厌和苛刻 但也可能是真的 |
| 213 | And you need to bring those up to the forefront and deliver the message. | 你需要把这些推到前面来,传达信息。 |
| 214 | And it's not straightforward at all because agreeable people do not like conflict. | 这根本不简单 因为人们不喜欢冲突 |
| 215 | Not at all. | 一点也不 |
| 216 | They smooth the water. | 他们把水打滑了 |
| 217 | You know, and you can see, you can see why that is in accordance with the hypothesis | 你知道,你可以看到,你可以看到为什么 这是根据假设 |
| 218 | that I've been putting forward. | 我一直在提出。 |
| 219 | You don't want conflict around infants. | 你不想在婴儿周围发生冲突 |
| 220 | It's too damn dangerous. | 太危险了 |
| 221 | You don't want fights to break out. | 你不希望战斗爆发。 |
| 222 | You don't want anything to disturb the relative peace. | 你不希望任何东西 扰乱相对的和平。 |
| 223 | You know, and if you're also more prone to being hurt physically, | 如果你更容易受伤的话 |
| 224 | and perhaps emotionally, you also may be loath to engage in the kind of high intensity | 也许在情感上,你可能也讨厌 参与那种高强度 |
| 225 | conflict that will solve problems in the short term. | 冲突将在短期内解决问题。 |
| 226 | Because a lot of conflict, it takes a lot of conflict to solve problems in the short term. | 由于很多冲突,在短期内解决问题需要很多冲突. |
| 227 | And, you know, if that can spiral up to where it's dangerous, which it can, | 而且,你知道,如果它可以螺旋 升到危险的地方,它可以, |
| 228 | if it gets uncontrolled, it might be safer in the short term to keep the water smooth | 如果它变得不受控制, 短期内保持水的顺畅可能更安全 |
| 229 | and to not delve into those situations where conflict emerges. | 并且不深入探讨出现冲突的局势。 |
| 230 | The problem with that is it's not a very good medium to long term strategy, right? | 问题在于它不是一个很好的中长期战略,对吧? |
| 231 | Because lots of times there are things you have to talk about | 因为很多时候你必须谈谈 |
| 232 | because they're not going to go away. | 因为他们不会离开的 |
| 233 | And so partly what you do with agreeable people is you get them to figure out, | 所以部分地,你做 与人同意的是你让他们 弄清楚, |
| 234 | and they have a hard time with this too. | 他们也很难接受 |
| 235 | If you ask a disagreeable person what he wants, say, or she wants, | 如果你问一个不满意的人 他想要什么,说,或她想要什么, |
| 236 | they'll tell you right away. | 他们会马上告诉你的 |
| 237 | They know. | 他们知道。 |
| 238 | It's like, this is what I want, and this is how I'm going to get it. | 就像,这就是我想要的, 这就是我要去得到它。 |
| 239 | But agreeable people, especially if they're really agreeable, | 但受欢迎的人,尤其是如果他们真的受欢迎, |
| 240 | are so agreeable that they often don't even know what they want. | 他们总是不知道自己想要什么 |
| 241 | Because they're so accustomed to living for other people, | 因为他们习惯为别人生活 |
| 242 | and to finding out what other people want, | 为了找出别人想要什么 |
| 243 | and to trying to make them comfortable and so forth, | 并试图使他们 舒适等等, |
| 244 | that it's harder for them to find a sense of their own desires as they move through life. | 他们更难找到 自己的欲望感 当他们移动到生命。 |
| 245 | And that's not... | 这不是... |
| 246 | Look, there's situations where that's advantageous, | 听着,有些情况下那是有利的, |
| 247 | but it's certainly not advantageous if you're going to try to forge yourself a career. | 但是如果你想创造自己的事业 肯定不会有什么好处 |
| 248 | That just doesn't work at all. | 这根本行不通 |
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