如何控制情绪，在极端压力下保持冷静｜前女特工分享
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Because even when I feel pressure sometimes fight is not the right thing to do | 因为即使我感到压力 有时战斗 也不合适 |
| 0:05 | It's not sometimes the right thing to do is to get up pack your shit and be like I'm out | 有时候不正确的是 收拾好你的东西,就像我走了一样 |
| 0:13 | With over a million views the last time she sat in this seat my girl every pompous is back | 上次她坐在这个座位上时,有超过一百万的观众 我的女孩都回来了 |
| 0:19 | by popular demand | 根据大众需求 |
| 0:22 | With a master's in forensic psychology. | 拥有法医心理学硕士学位. |
| 0:24 | She was a former Secret Service agent and she worked complex undercover missions | 她以前是特勤局的特工 她做了复杂的卧底任务 |
| 0:28 | So I think it's safe to say she definitely knows a thing or two hundred about controlling your emotions and staying calm | 所以说她肯定知道 控制你的情绪 保持冷静 |
| 0:36 | Under pressure and she is here today to show us how so please welcome the badass | 迫于压力,她今天在这里 向我们展示如何欢迎坏蛋 |
| 0:43 | No BS Greek girl from Queens who is defending presidents and taking names the freaking badass every | 没有来自皇后区的BS希腊女孩 她正在为总统辩护 并取名他妈的坏蛋 |
| 0:51 | pompous | 骄傲 |
展开字幕全文（789 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Because even when I feel pressure sometimes fight is not the right thing to do | 因为即使我感到压力 有时战斗 也不合适 |
| 2 | It's not sometimes the right thing to do is to get up pack your shit and be like I'm out | 有时候不正确的是 收拾好你的东西,就像我走了一样 |
| 3 | With over a million views the last time she sat in this seat my girl every pompous is back | 上次她坐在这个座位上时,有超过一百万的观众 我的女孩都回来了 |
| 4 | by popular demand | 根据大众需求 |
| 5 | With a master's in forensic psychology. | 拥有法医心理学硕士学位. |
| 6 | She was a former Secret Service agent and she worked complex undercover missions | 她以前是特勤局的特工 她做了复杂的卧底任务 |
| 7 | So I think it's safe to say she definitely knows a thing or two hundred about controlling your emotions and staying calm | 所以说她肯定知道 控制你的情绪 保持冷静 |
| 8 | Under pressure and she is here today to show us how so please welcome the badass | 迫于压力,她今天在这里 向我们展示如何欢迎坏蛋 |
| 9 | No BS Greek girl from Queens who is defending presidents and taking names the freaking badass every | 没有来自皇后区的BS希腊女孩 她正在为总统辩护 并取名他妈的坏蛋 |
| 10 | pompous | 骄傲 |
| 11 | Welcome girl. | 欢迎女孩。 |
| 12 | Thank you for having me back | 谢谢你让我回来 |
| 13 | You have definitely had many many pressures in your career and | 你事业中肯定承受了很多压力 |
| 14 | I know that you at the World Trade Center when the planes hit so you want to talk about immense pressure | 我知道你在世贸中心的时候 飞机撞了所以你想谈谈巨大的压力 |
| 15 | And just other things that you have done when I think about how we can help the world in | 还有你做的其他事情 当我想到我们如何帮助世界 |
| 16 | Situations when they're feeling pressure whether it's they've lost their job or they're still stuck in quarantine | 当他们感到压力的时候 不管是失业还是被隔离 |
| 17 | family pressures | 家庭压力 |
| 18 | You are to me the absolute freaking expert | 你对我来说绝对是专家 |
| 19 | So I want you to help us break down how on earth you stay calm under pressure | 我要你帮助我们破解 如何在压力下保持冷静 |
| 20 | Whether it's you find yourself at the Twin Towers or you find yourself being pushed by a seven-foot Chinese delegate | 无论你是在双塔还是被一个7英尺高的中国代表推倒 |
| 21 | It all depends on | 这都取决于 |
| 22 | The situation because they're all so uniquely different like if you're talking about since you brought up 9-eleven if you're talking about that | 因为他们都不一样 就像你说的一样 从你提起9点到6点 |
| 23 | There wasn't really just staying calm under pressure for me. | 我的压力下 并不只是保持冷静 |
| 24 | That was people are dying which they were and | 那是人们的死亡 他们曾经和 |
| 25 | What can I do to help I? | 我能做什么来帮助我? |
| 26 | Would not have been okay with leaving because they were evacuating our offices and they were evacuating the area | 因为他们要撤离我们的办公室 并撤离该地区 |
| 27 | But for me intuitively like I couldn't leave like I was uncomfortable with leaving | 但对于我而言,直觉上就像我不能离开,就像我对离开感到不舒服一样 |
| 28 | You know, this is how I feel like we're all like family on this earth while we're here and I was like my | 你知道,这就是我的感觉 我们就像这个地球上的家庭 当我们在这里 而我就像我的 |
| 29 | Brothers and sisters are out there dying. | 兄弟姐妹们都快死了 |
| 30 | I'm where am I gonna go? | 我该去哪儿? |
| 31 | So that's I feel for me. | 所以这就是我对我的感觉。 |
| 32 | Yes, there was pressure there | 是的,那里有压力 |
| 33 | But that's where that came from so because of the passion I felt and helping other people I | 但正是从那里来的,因为我感受到了激情,帮助了其他人 |
| 34 | Didn't really think about anything else. | 没想过别的事 |
| 35 | And so that was dry my driving force | 所以,这是干我的驱动力 |
| 36 | So I think sometimes like what is your driving force? | 所以我觉得有时候你的驱动力是什么? |
| 37 | So for me in that moment, it was helping save another human beings life or they hate helping save other people's lives | 因此,对于我来说,在那一刻, 它帮助拯救另一个人的生命 或者他们讨厌帮助拯救别人的生命 |
| 38 | and so I just let my humanity guide me and I just stayed to | 所以我就让我的人性指引我 我留下来 |
| 39 | To help also in the back of my head. | 帮助我的后脑勺。 |
| 40 | I'm like, I'm a special agent. | 我很喜欢,我是一个特别的特工。 |
| 41 | Why would I leave? | 我为什么要离开? |
| 42 | Hmm? | 是吗? |
| 43 | I'm like, this is my job is to help protect people. | 我的工作就是保护人们 |
| 44 | Where am I gonna go? | 我该去哪儿? |
| 45 | Like I'm the last person that should leave there's pressure there | 就像我是最后一个应该离开的人 那儿有压力 |
| 46 | But again, like I let my humanity drive me with that one, you know other people suffering and I was like | 但再次,就像我让我的人性驱使我 与那一个,你知道 其他人的痛苦,我就像 |
| 47 | I want to be part of the solution. | 我想成为解决方案的一部分。 |
| 48 | I don't want to leave | 我不想离开 |
| 49 | now that that in of itself is pressure you could also look at other situations that are maybe not as | 现在,这本身就是一种压力,你也可以审视其他可能不是 |
| 50 | extreme as September 11th like pressure you feel maybe | 就像9月11日一样,你可能感觉到压力 |
| 51 | You know | 你知道吗 |
| 52 | your safety or your protection or protecting somebody else like in a physical way or | 保护你的安全 保护你的人 比如在身体上 |
| 53 | Fear fear of threat and when you feel those types of pressures | 害怕威胁 当你感受到这些压力时 |
| 54 | I feel that it's really important to know like how you typically react and | 我觉得,这真的很重要 要知道你如何 典型的反应和 |
| 55 | Knowing what you will do when you're in a press | 知道你在媒体里会做什么 |
| 56 | Oppressing situation like you have to know your I call it the f3 | 就像你必须知道你的情况 我称之为f3 |
| 57 | You have to know what your reaction is cool at the what's right the f3 f3 fight flight free | 你必须知道你的反应是冷静的 在什么是正确的 F3 f3 战斗自由飞行 |
| 58 | Why and so are you a person that when you feel threatened or pressured? | 你为何是那种感觉受到威胁或压力的人? |
| 59 | Do you immediately want to fight do you what do you freeze up because you don't know what to do because you'll become | 你立即想打架吗? 你冷冻什么 因为你不知道该怎么做 因为你会变成 |
| 60 | Overwhelmed or do you flee a lot of people flee bad situations when they feel pressures they they hide, you know | 当你感到压力时,你逃过还是逃过很多人的险境? |
| 61 | They go into the fetal position, whatever it is. | 他们进入胎儿的位置, 不管是什么。 |
| 62 | They retract | 他们收回 |
| 63 | So I think it's really important to know like which persona you you embody and you'll see you | 所以,我认为这真的很重要 要知道 像什么样的人你体现 你会看到你 |
| 64 | You'll typically have a pattern that you have mine's always fight | 你通常会有一个模式 你总是有我的战斗 |
| 65 | It's always been fight most people will have one yours is definitely fight | 总是吵架 大多数人会有一个你绝对是打架 |
| 66 | Definitely fight | 绝对要打 |
| 67 | So this is when you kind of go at it | 所以这是当你去的时候 |
| 68 | So if I know that typically that's what I'm gonna go into I use that to help guide me | 所以,如果我知道, 通常,这就是我要进入的 我用它来引导我 |
| 69 | Because even when I feel pressure sometimes fight is not the right thing to do | 因为即使我感到压力 有时战斗 也不合适 |
| 70 | It's not sometimes the right thing to do is to get up pack your shit and be like I'm out | 有时候不正确的是 收拾好你的东西,就像我走了一样 |
| 71 | Are there things in that allow you to identify in those types of pressures which act to do? | 是否有些事情允许你识别 哪些类型的压力可以采取行动? |
| 72 | Because you said your instinct is to fight but sometimes that isn't the right answer | 因为你说过你的本能是战斗 但有时这不正确 |
| 73 | How do you then in that moment identify actually this moment of pressure doesn't mean I should fight it actually means I need to | 那你在那一刻如何辨别这压力的瞬间 并不表示我应该反抗 这实际上意味着我需要 |
| 74 | It depends. | 这取决于。 |
| 75 | It's like are we talking about threat? | 就像我们在谈论威胁? |
| 76 | 9-eleven is a threat, right? | 9 -eleven是一个威胁,对不对? |
| 77 | That's a whole other thing | 这是另一回事 |
| 78 | I guess when I was thinking of 9-eleven though | 我想当我在想9 -16,虽然 |
| 79 | I was thinking of it like in a moment where I | 我当时在想,就像在那一刻 |
| 80 | Feel like the world is coming down around me obviously for you | 感觉世界在为您而来 |
| 81 | That was literal but the pressure of having to make a decision when you're shit scared | 说来话长,但是你害怕的时候 不得不做决定的压力 |
| 82 | Right like in that freaking moment where you feel like the world's coming down around you | 就像在那个疯狂的时刻,你觉得 这个世界正在降临你身边 |
| 83 | Where maybe you can't take a deep breath like how do you if you don't have a clear mind? | 或许你无法深呼吸 如果你没有清醒的头脑怎么办? |
| 84 | How do you make a clear decision? | 你如何做出一个明确的决定? |
| 85 | Okay? | 好吗? |
| 86 | there's two things we listen to we listen to our gut are that that that feeling that thing we have and | 有两件事我们听 我们听我们的直觉 是我们有那种感觉 |
| 87 | Then there's the logic so it's like you hear things from two places up here the mind | 还有逻辑,所以它就像你听到的东西 从两个地方在这里的头脑 |
| 88 | Right, which is typically negative sometimes | 右,这通常是负面的有时 |
| 89 | But it's a little bit more rational and then you hear things from here | 但是,它有点 更理性,然后你听到 从这里的东西 |
| 90 | Like where you feel that intuition that you follow 9-eleven was complete intuition | 就像你感觉你遵循9 -even的直觉是完全直觉 |
| 91 | I didn't listen to this I listened to this and I let that guide me | 我没有听这个,我听这个,我让那个指引我 |
| 92 | But it was very clear and definitive definitive to me like I I knew what I was supposed to do like I didn't sit and debate | 但对于我来说,这很明确,很明确,就像我知道我该做什么,就像我没有坐下来辩论 |
| 93 | It do I leave do I it was very clear to me despite the pressure now sometimes when we feel pressure whether it's an emotional pressure | 我离开,我很清楚 尽管现在压力很大 有时我们感到压力 是否是一种情感压力 |
| 94 | relationships work pressures | 工作压力 |
| 95 | It's like first | 这就像第一 |
| 96 | Can you can you figure out what's guiding you if you can feel this that that essence that guide that pulls you follow that | 你能想出什么方向吗 如果你能感觉到 引导你遵循 |
| 97 | But make sure it's not coming from here and also make sure it's not coming from like rage or anger | 但要确保它不会从这里传来 并确保它不会像愤怒或愤怒一样传来 |
| 98 | Sometimes when we go into our heads we become very negative. | 有时,当我们进入我们的大脑,我们变得非常消极。 |
| 99 | We overthink overthinking stresses out more gives us more anxiety | 我们过度思考 过度思考压力 给我们更多的焦虑 |
| 100 | So when you find yourself in that space where you like, oh my god, this is happening. | 所以当你发现自己 在你喜欢的地方, 哦,我的上帝,这是发生的。 |
| 101 | Oh my god, that is happening | 哦,我的上帝,这是发生 |
| 102 | That's your brain doing that and so finding proper coping coping message mechanisms when I feel | 这就是你的大脑做, 所以找到适当的 应对信息机制 当我感觉 |
| 103 | Extreme stress I step away | 极度压力 我走开 |
| 104 | Because I've got I've been in those moments where I can't I can't think right or I'm seeing red | 因为我在那些我无法思考或看到红色的时刻 |
| 105 | Like I'm not I'm not immune to that. | 就像我不是那样,我无法幸免 |
| 106 | I want to meet a person who is immune to that | 我想见一个人 谁可以免疫 |
| 107 | But when I'm in that space when all I can see is red, I can't hear I can't think I don't type it | 但当我在那个空间里,我只看到红色, 我听不见,我不能认为我不打它 |
| 108 | I don't text it. | 我不发短信 |
| 109 | I don't email it. | 我不发邮件 |
| 110 | I don't call. | 我不打电话。 |
| 111 | I do I do nothing | 我什么都不会做 |
| 112 | I do nothing. | 我什么都没做 |
| 113 | In fact, my brother was dealing with a really stressful situation recently and he's like, what do I do? | 事实上,我哥哥最近正处理着一个非常紧张的情况,他喜欢,我该怎么办? |
| 114 | I'm like nothing do nothing because he wanted to respond to someone and he was so overwhelmed | 我什么也做不了 因为他想对某人做出回应 而且他太无能了 |
| 115 | He took a sticky pad with a marker and he wrote do | 他拿了一个粘贴的垫子 和标记,他写做 |
| 116 | Nothing, and he pulled off this sticky back and he put it on his computer and he's like | 什么都没有,他拉了 粘粘的回来, 他把它放在他的电脑上,他喜欢 |
| 117 | I'm gonna look at that for the next 24 hours because he felt so impulsive to react because he was under such pressure and | 我会在接下来的24小时里看着他 因为他感到如此冲动的反应 因为他承受着如此的压力 |
| 118 | He called me later. | 他后来打电话给我。 |
| 119 | He's like I'm looking at the sticky pad. | 他就像我在看粘贴垫 |
| 120 | I'm doing nothing. | 我什么也没做。 |
| 121 | I'm doing nothing | 我什么都没做 |
| 122 | Because we have to let that sensation that emotion over just let it run its course | 因为我们必须让那种感觉 情绪结束,只是让它运行 |
| 123 | So you come from a place of tranquility if you're in an upheaval | 所以,你来自一个安宁的地方 如果你在动乱 |
| 124 | How can't how can you how can you respond? | 如何不能,如何不能,如何可以作出反应? |
| 125 | So that's the first thing I do | 所以,这是我的第一件事 |
| 126 | 24 hours is minimum sometimes a week a week before I respond to someone I I I put me first | 24小时是最少的,有时一个星期, 在我回应一个人之前,我把我放在第一位 |
| 127 | Because just because it's your emergency. | 因为这是你的紧急事件 |
| 128 | It doesn't mean it's my emergency | 这不代表是我的紧急情况 |
| 129 | Says who have you always been like that or did that develop over time developed over time because we feel instinctually this person emailed me | 说谁总是这样 或做发展 随着时间的推移发展 因为我们觉得本能 这个人发电子邮件给我 |
| 130 | This person said this to me. | 这个人跟我说的 |
| 131 | I have to respond why that's their emergency. | 我必须回答为什么这是他们的紧急情况。 |
| 132 | It's not yours | 这不是你的 |
| 133 | How did you get to thinking like that then probably Secret Service broke me down quite a bit | 你怎么这样想的 可能是特勤局把我打碎了 |
| 134 | because in | 因为 |
| 135 | The service you have people yelling or screaming or they're attacking or they're you're addressing someone or so many things are happening | 你得到的服务 人大喊大叫或尖叫 或者他们正在攻击 或者他们正在针对某人或 这么多的事情正在发生 |
| 136 | and you got to keep it together like you you can't just | 你必须保持它 像你不能只是 |
| 137 | Just can't respond and not be thoughtful in it | 无法回应 无法深思熟虑 |
| 138 | You know, they'll you're also taught to be quite decisive and that was one of the best things | 你知道,他们会教你 相当果断,这是最好的事情之一 |
| 139 | I think indecisiveness is a very dangerous thing and decisiveness | 我认为不果断是件非常危险的事 也是决定性的 |
| 140 | causes us to look to others to give us advice it causes us to not make decisions in life and decisiveness keeps us paralyzed and | 导致我们期待别人给我们建议 导致我们无法在生活中做决定 果断使我们瘫痪 |
| 141 | Decisiveness is bad for our self-esteem and our confidence being a decisive person is important. | 犹豫不决不利于我们的自尊,我们作为一个决定性人物的信心是重要的。 |
| 142 | I'm gonna do this right or wrong | 我要做对错的事 |
| 143 | I'm doing this and then you learn from there and it really grounds you | 我这样做,然后你从那里学习, 它真的证明你 |
| 144 | So that that was a key thing. | 因此,这是一个关键的事情。 |
| 145 | But as far as like pulling back and not responding that came from there. | 但是,就如同从那里撤回来 却没有反应一样 |
| 146 | It's like I can't | 就像我不能一样 |
| 147 | Respond the way other people respond like I would have if I was dealing with the public sometimes the public doesn't behave, right? | 回应别人的反应方式,像我会 如果我与公众打交道 有时公众不行为,对不对? |
| 148 | I can't mimic that | 我不能模仿这个 |
| 149 | so if somebody in the public is escalating I have to be very careful I'm like I can't escalate with them unless I | 所以如果公众中有人在升级... ...我必须非常小心... |
| 150 | Strategically need to escalate with them because I'm in a position of where I can take another human life or I can take somebody's freedom away | 战略上需要和他们一起升级 因为我处于一个位置 我可以夺走另一个人的生命 或者我可以夺走别人的自由 |
| 151 | Well, I had to be very very in income have composure | 嗯,我不得不非常 收入有舒缓 |
| 152 | But I also went through a really thorough screening process to get into an agency like that | 但我也经过了一个非常彻底的筛选程序 才能进入这样的机构 |
| 153 | I went through a quite a bit of training | 我接受了很多训练 |
| 154 | So what they did is they put us in a lot of stressful situations and the mindset was if you can't control the stress in this | 所以他们做的是 把我们置于很多压力的境地 思维方式是 如果你无法控制压力 |
| 155 | Controlled environment. | 受控环境. |
| 156 | How are you gonna control yourself out on the street? | 你要怎么控制自己 在街上吗? |
| 157 | But you don't become this person overnight I didn't become this person overnight this is this is work | 但你不会在一夜之间变成这样的人 我没有在一夜之间变成这样的人 这是工作 |
| 158 | It still is work. | 它仍然是工作。 |
| 159 | There's still moments where I'm like what thought, you know, and I'm like I will stop I'll put music in | 仍然有时刻,我像什么想法, 你知道,我就像我会停止,我会放音乐 |
| 160 | I'll go run. | 我会跑。 |
| 161 | I I have my tool bag and I pull from my tool bag and | 我拿了我的工具袋 从工具袋里抽出来 |
| 162 | I'm like, I'm gonna do this to get me to stop or I'll listen to an audiobook. | 我想,我会这样做 让我停下来,否则我会听一个音频本。 |
| 163 | I'm a huge fan of audiobooks | 我很喜欢听书 |
| 164 | I'm gonna take my mind and transport it somewhere else or I'll go surfing. | 我要把心思转移到别的地方去 不然我就冲浪了 |
| 165 | I'll go I | 我会去的 |
| 166 | Interrupt myself and we talked about it last time disruptors | 打断我,上次我们谈过了 |
| 167 | Because so I can come back to a place where I'm not stressed out | 因为我可以回到一个没有压力的地方 |
| 168 | Another thing I do is like I almost I call it like I bubble wrap myself from people | 我所做的另一件事,就像我几乎把它称为 我泡泡包装自己 从人 |
| 169 | Because what you can do is you I can become really heightened and thrown off by somebody else's chaos and energy | 因为你能做的就是... ...我能够被别人的混乱 和精力所驱散 |
| 170 | So if somebody is like all over the place and angry and freaking out what happens we escalate with them and I recognize that | 所以,如果有人像 到处都是,愤怒和惊慌 发生了什么事,我们升级与他们在一起,我承认 |
| 171 | I've been I've taught | 我曾经教过 |
| 172 | Myself to recognize that I'm like they're escalating because they've got something going on up here. | 我承认他们正在升级 因为这里有事情发生 |
| 173 | Don't go with them | 别跟他们走 |
| 174 | so I stay remember once I did this interview with this young man and | 所以我记得我曾经采访过这个年轻人 |
| 175 | I was interviewing him for a job | 我在面试他的工作 |
| 176 | Actually, I used to do the polygraphs in the US Secret Service to get the job | 其实,我曾经做测谎 美国特勤局的工作 |
| 177 | You had to take a polygraph and you have to pass it and I gave him a polygraph and we got into | 你不得不做测谎,你必须通过它 我给他测谎,我们进入了 |
| 178 | The topic of I want to say he was either drugs or a criminal history. | 我想说的是 他要么是毒品 要么是犯罪史 |
| 179 | There was something he was hiding | 他藏了些东西 |
| 180 | I believe it was drugs and we were talking about his experimentation and usage and | 我相信是药物 我们谈论他的实验和使用 |
| 181 | The whole interview he's sitting there. | 整个采访 他坐在那里。 |
| 182 | He's super composed and then the moment I got into this topic | 他的超级编织 然后当我进入这个话题的那一刻 |
| 183 | I started seeing his behavior shift and he started just rocking back and forth in this chair | 我开始看到他的行为转变 他开始在这椅子上摇晃 |
| 184 | And then he goes rocking then I keep moving into this like the conversation asking more in-depth questions | 然后他摇摇晃晃 我不停地走进这里 就像谈话 问了更深入的问题 |
| 185 | And he's rocking harder then I seem to start scratching himself and I see all these blotches of red and I immediately notice | 他摇得更厉害 我好像开始挠自己 我看见这些红斑 |
| 186 | I'm like he's having some kind of breakdown right now because this is stressing him out | 我觉得他现在有点崩溃了 因为这样会让他紧张 |
| 187 | It's likely it's stressing him out because he's about to lie to me or he lied on his paperwork | 可能是因为他要骗我 或者是他在文件上撒谎 |
| 188 | Because there is something there and I remember he jumps out of his chair and he starts ping-ponging back and forth in the room | 因为那里有些东西 我记得他从椅子上跳出来 开始在房间里不停地打乒乓球 |
| 189 | Completely stressed out as he was talking to me that point | 当他跟我说话时, 压力很大 |
| 190 | I stopped and I remember like my chair had wheels on it and I wheeled myself back | 我停了下来,我记得我的椅子上有车轮,我转回来 |
| 191 | I didn't get up out of the chair | 我没有从椅子上站起来 |
| 192 | I didn't mimic his demeanor because it would only escalate with him and I would also escalate myself | 我没有模仿他的品行 因为这只会和他一起升级 我也会自己升级 |
| 193 | I let him go through whatever he was going through. | 我让他经历他经历的一切 |
| 194 | I maintain my composure and eventually I was able to calm him down | 我保持了冷静 最后我让他冷静下来了 |
| 195 | But this is with anything else | 但这是与任何其它 |
| 196 | Don't I don't let other people pull that part out of me. | 别让别人把我扯出来 |
| 197 | I decide when it comes out | 我决定什么时候出来 |
| 198 | And so I'm just very mindful this person's having an emergency. | 所以我非常清楚这个人有急事 |
| 199 | It's not my emergency is theirs | 这不是我的紧急情况 是他们的 |
| 200 | When we talk about pressure when we talk about | 当我们谈论压力时 |
| 201 | Self-esteem and sticking up for yourself like all these subjects | 自尊心和坚持自己 像所有这些主题 |
| 202 | I honestly think you're the frickin expert because you've got actual training and so this it's so powerful | 我真心觉得你是他妈的专家 因为你受过真正的训练 所以这太厉害了 |
| 203 | But then once you bring emotion in it, right it becomes slightly different | 但一旦你带来了情感, 它就变得有点不同了 |
| 204 | So but I also mess up I've messed up which I think is amazing | 所以,我也搞砸了 我搞砸了,我觉得是惊人的 |
| 205 | That's the thing like I've I don't know how many times I've messed up | 事情是这样的 我不知道我搞砸了多少次 |
| 206 | And so but I it's when I've messed up that I'm like man, I shouldn't have done that man | 所以,但当我搞砸了 我就像男人,我不应该做那个男人 |
| 207 | I shouldn't have said that but I this is the difference. | 我本不该这么说的,但是我这是不同的 |
| 208 | I choose to learn from it | 我选择从中学习 |
| 209 | Mm-hmm, and I choose to make it a lesson whereas other people like yeah | 嗯,嗯,我选择把它作为一个教训 而其他人喜欢是 |
| 210 | And then you wonder why you're messing up all over the place | 然后,你想知道你为什么乱来 |
| 211 | like I | 喜欢我 |
| 212 | Look at things and I says things and I'm truly honest with myself like every night | 你看事情,我说的事情, 我是真的诚实自己 像每晚 |
| 213 | I say to I say to myself one thing what could I have done better today? | 我对自己说一件事,今天我能做得更好吗? |
| 214 | What could I have done differently? | 我还能做什么? |
| 215 | Today because I take accountability and when I take accountability man, I flow | 今天,因为我接受问责 当我接受问责的人,我流 |
| 216 | But when I I'm when I don't I hit walls I I I understand that I don't know | 但当我不打墙时 我理解我不知道 |
| 217 | Everything and is that because you know yourself so well because what I love is and I think this is why we get along | 这一切都是因为你太了解自己了 因为我爱的是... 我觉得这就是我们相处的原因 |
| 218 | So well, we think very similarly like I'm the same | 所以,我们觉得非常相似 就像我一样 |
| 219 | It's like what can I do better because it empowers me to do better | 就像我能做得更好,因为它能让我做得更好 |
| 220 | But I know a world where a lot of people even asking that same question at the end of the day a lot of people | 但我知道一个世界,很多人 甚至问同样的问题 在一天结束时,很多人 |
| 221 | In this space that I've also interviewed have said I always say like it's okay | 在这个我接受采访的空间里 我总是说没事 |
| 222 | Lisa what did you do great today and it's self soothing and I actually understand that part of it | 丽莎,你今天做了什么 做得很好,这是自我安慰 我实际上理解它的一部分 |
| 223 | But I'm like you as well. | 但我跟你一样 |
| 224 | I also have the other side that at the end of the day | 我也有另一边,在一天结束时 |
| 225 | I'm like, what could you have done better? | 我很喜欢,你有什么能做得更好? |
| 226 | How do you use that to empower yourself and not to? | 你怎么用它来增强自己的能力而不是去? |
| 227 | Shame yourself for doing things wrong. | 惭愧自己做错事. |
| 228 | No, I don't shame myself | 不,我不丢脸 |
| 229 | So then how yeah, tell me how does that so I can shame but you can be both | 那么,如何是,告诉我如何做到这一点 这样我就可以羞愧,但你们两个可以 |
| 230 | You can be like what could I have done better and it's like, okay good. | 你可以像我能做的更好,它就像,好的。 |
| 231 | I've done this better | 我做得比这好 |
| 232 | I messed up and I will say to myself. | 我搞砸了,我会告诉自己。 |
| 233 | That's okay | 没关系 |
| 234 | So what I do you can do you can be both you can hold yourself accountable be like I messed up | 所以,我做什么,你可以做 你们两个可以 追究自己的责任 像我搞砸了 |
| 235 | Who hasn't who hasn't and it's alright. | 谁没有谁没有,没关系。 |
| 236 | It's like alright you messed up | 就像没事,你搞砸了 |
| 237 | move on yeah, and | 继续前进是的,而且 |
| 238 | There needs to be no shame | 没必要羞愧 |
| 239 | Yeah | 对 |
| 240 | Because it's so important the way you talk to yourself and treat yourself and speak to yourself | 因为它是如此重要的方式 你说话自己 对待自己 说话自己 |
| 241 | Like I wouldn't tolerate somebody else being like shame on you. | 就像我不会容忍别人像羞辱你一样 |
| 242 | So why would I shame myself? | 那我为什么要丢脸呢? |
| 243 | I understand and take accountability | 我理解并接受问责 |
| 244 | 我搞砸了 我错了 I messed up. | |
| 245 | I shouldn't have done this. | 我不应该这样做。 |
| 246 | I shouldn't have said this if I need to apologize to someone I will it's very rare now | 我不应该说这个 如果我需要向某人道歉... ...我会非常少见的 |
| 247 | But I will own it and I will own it | 但我会拥有它,我会拥有它 |
| 248 | Like if you're going to relationship like if I argue with my significant other we've been with my mom | 喜欢,如果你要去 关系喜欢如果我争论 我的重要的其他人 我们一直与我妈妈 |
| 249 | I go back and I'm like, you know what in that moment? | 我回去,我喜欢, 你知道什么在那一刻? |
| 250 | I'll be like I was right and then | 我会像我是对的,然后 |
| 251 | Five hours later Mike. | 5小时后,迈克。 |
| 252 | No, I didn't need to do that. | 不,我不需要这样做。 |
| 253 | I'll go and I'll say I'm very sorry | 我走了,我会说我很抱歉 |
| 254 | So I really think apologizing is good | 所以我真的觉得道歉很好 |
| 255 | But then you also don't want to get into this mindset where you're constantly apologizing for how you feel and who you are | 但你也不愿意进入这种心态 在那里你一直在为你的感受和身份道歉 |
| 256 | Apologize when you need to but that mindset and that language also pulls you back into this subordinate place | 当你需要道歉的时候... ... ...... |
| 257 | Apologies are important when you need to apologize | 道歉很重要 当你需要道歉的时候 |
| 258 | But when you don't like if I argue with my significant other I'm like I'm not apologizing for this one | 但当你不喜欢我和另一个重要人物争吵时... ...我好像不会为这个道歉 |
| 259 | Not because I'm right, but because it's not the situation isn't right and I want to address this with you. | 不是因为我是对的 而是因为情况不对 我想跟你谈谈 |
| 260 | I will hold it | 我会拿着的 |
| 261 | Good I love that and I I want to actually talk about verbal currency is what you call it | 好,我喜欢,我想 真正谈论的口头货币是 你称之为它 |
| 262 | I think verbal economic | 我认为口头经济 |
| 263 | Yeah verbal economics and because I'm so with you | 是啊,语言经济学 因为我是如此和你在一起 |
| 264 | So even with my husband as well, we literally have this language where he's he will say or I will say to him | 所以即使和我丈夫一起 我们也有这种语言 他会说,或我会说给他听 |
| 265 | I'm sorry. | 对不起 |
| 266 | I've hurt you but I'm not sorry about | 我伤害了你,但我不后悔 |
| 267 | What I said like what I said I actually still mean and if I apologize for what I said | 我所说的话,就像我所说的话 其实我仍然意味着 如果我为我说的话道歉 |
| 268 | Then it seems like I don't actually mean it now | 看来我现在不是真心的 |
| 269 | I'm sorry. | 对不起 |
| 270 | I hurt you and I'm sorry that like what words can I maybe change that didn't hurt you? | 我伤害了你,我很抱歉,像什么话 我可以改变,没有伤害你? |
| 271 | But my point is still the same and if I feel strongly in the point | 但我的观点还是一样 如果我强烈地感受到这一点 |
| 272 | I don't want to apologize for it because then it seems like I'm kind of backtracking out of emotion, right? | 我不想为此道歉,因为那样看来我好像情绪失控了,对吧? |
| 273 | So I've hurt him so I'm sorry and I actually don't think that solves any issue | 所以,我伤害了他,所以我很抱歉,实际上我不认为 这解决了任何问题 |
| 274 | No, but I think what you're doing is right | 不,但我觉得你做的是对的 |
| 275 | But you also have to acknowledge that you did something whether you like it or not whether you agree with it or not it upset | 但你也必须承认你做了一些事情 不管你喜欢与否 不管你同意与否 它不高兴 |
| 276 | Him so it's not like well, I didn't mean it that way. | 他这样不好 我不是那个意思 |
| 277 | Well, it doesn't matter how you meant it | 好吧,这不重要 你是什么意思 |
| 278 | This is how I took that to me | 我就是这样拿的 |
| 279 | But sometimes I will apologize because I'll be like, I'm sorry we fought or I'm sorry for what I said or I'm sorry for my | 但有时我会道歉 因为我会喜欢, 我很抱歉我们打 或者对不起我说的话 或者对不起我 |
| 280 | behavior | 行为 |
| 281 | because I I am hot-headed and | 因为我是热头, |
| 282 | You know, usually | 你知道,通常 |
| 283 | It's to the people closest to us that we will keep our composure out in public typically or with work and it's we lose it | 和我们最亲近的人一样,我们会经常在公众场合 或工作上保持镇定,我们就会失去这种镇静 |
| 284 | At home and that's no good either | 在家里,这是不好的 |
| 285 | Because that's how you lose people that's how you hurt people like we're not you're not meant to come home and dump on | 因为这就是你如何失去人 这就是你如何伤害人 就像我们不是 你不应该回家 和倾斜 |
| 286 | People and that's something to be very careful of so I came from a very high stress environment | 人,这是一件非常小心的事情 所以我来自一个非常高的压力环境 |
| 287 | And even after I left the service working in television in the industry like there's so much stress | 即使在我离开服务 工作在电视行业 像有这么多的压力 |
| 288 | I had to be very mindful of that to take that out on the people I go home to they're not there to be your | 我不得不非常小心 才能把那些我回家的人 带出去 他们不会有你的 |
| 289 | Dumping ground because at some point like you're gonna affect them and then you're gonna end up like where is everyone everyone left you | 倾倒地面,因为在某些时候,你 会影响他们, 然后你会结束 像每个人都离开了你。 |
| 290 | Because you're you're dumping all your stuff on them like they have a day they they're going through there | 因为你把你所有的东西都扔在他们身上 就像他们有一天 他们要经过那里 |
| 291 | everyone's going through something and so self-assessment is such a huge thing and I | 每个人都在经历一些事情 所以自评是件大事 而我 |
| 292 | You know, I go by like I'm not always right | 你知道,我走过去,好像我并不总是对的 |
| 293 | Humility is a big thing. | 谦逊是件大事。 |
| 294 | Like people need to have that. | 就像人们需要拥有那样 |
| 295 | I don't know where that's gone | 我不知道它不见了 |
| 296 | Everyone knows everything everybody's super self-righteous like have some humility. | 人人都知道一切 每个人的超自以为是 就像有些谦卑。 |
| 297 | You don't know anything | 你一无所知 |
| 298 | None of us do oh | 我们谁也做不了 |
| 299 | What is soccer? | 什么是足球吗? |
| 300 | It was it? | 是吗? |
| 301 | I believe said this he said I know I'm smarter than you because I know I don't know everything | 我相信他说我知道我比你聪明 因为我不知道什么 |
| 302 | And that's how I feel and so when I feel people going going going like that self-righteousness or that like I know everything like | 这就是我的感受,所以当我感觉 人们会去 像那种自以为是或喜欢,我知道一切喜欢 |
| 303 | Tune out. | 吐出来。 |
| 304 | I'm like, okay. | 我像,好吗。 |
| 305 | I do the head nod. | 我点头 |
| 306 | I'm like so great talking to you | 我很高兴和你说话 |
| 307 | I'm gonna go do business elsewhere. | 我要去别的地方做生意 |
| 308 | I'm gonna go hang out elsewhere | 我要去别的地方玩 |
| 309 | And I'm really like thoughtful about the inner circle. | 我对内心圈子很深思熟虑 |
| 310 | I I keep because I want to grow as a human being and if I keep | 我坚持是因为我想作为一个人成长 如果我保持 |
| 311 | Negativity and people who don't control themselves well, and that's another thing as far as pressure be around people who who handle pressure? | 内疚和自我控制不好的人 这又是一个问题 就压力来说 就是那些处理压力的人? |
| 312 | Well, so you can learn from them. | 这样你就能从他们那里学到东西了 |
| 313 | I watch other people. | 我看着别人 |
| 314 | Do you know working in the White House? | 你知道在白宫工作吗? |
| 315 | That was a huge like it was it was going to like school every day | 简直就像天天上学一样 |
| 316 | Because I would watch the president's the first ladies deal with serious pressures and I'd watch how they handle themselves and I'm like | 因为我会看着总统的第一夫人 面对严重的压力 我会看着他们如何处理自己,我就像 |
| 317 | Note to self. | 自记. |
| 318 | Yeah | 对 |
| 319 | They would they would deal with horrible | 他们会对付可怕的 |
| 320 | Messages or emails or hate or all these different things and they would wake up and he president of the United States | 信件或邮件或仇恨 或所有这些不同的东西, 他们会醒来,他 美国总统 |
| 321 | He still has to go to work | 他还得去上班 |
| 322 | He still has to run the country. | 他仍然必须管理国家。 |
| 323 | He can't just sit there and fall apart | 他不能就这样坐在那里 分崩离析 |
| 324 | You have to keep yourself composed | 你必须保持自己的结构 |
| 325 | But at the same time they surround themselves by what other people who help keep them strong as you have a cabinet | 但与此同时,他们环绕自己 哪些其他人 谁帮助保持他们强大,因为你有一个内阁 |
| 326 | And so I look at myself as like I'm not the president but in my mind | 所以我把自己看成不是总统 而是在心里 |
| 327 | Who's my cabinet who are my cabinet members and who do I go to when I need help? | 谁是我的内阁成员,当我需要帮助时,我会去找谁? |
| 328 | So if I'm about to like do something or say something I may call you Lisa and be like Lisa man | 所以如果我想做点什么 或者说点什么 我可能会叫你Lisa 就像Lisa男人 |
| 329 | I just had this business thing. | 我刚刚有这个生意。 |
| 330 | I know this is your space. | 我知道这是你的空间。 |
| 331 | I'm like, I'm about to lose my shit | 我好像要输了 |
| 332 | Can I talk to you? | 我能和你谈谈吗? |
| 333 | So I'll do it with you so I don't do it elsewhere | 所以,我会做它与你,所以我不这样做 |
| 334 | But I'm mindful of where I project that and I'm mindful not to dump on you | 但我记得我投射的地方 也注意不要抛弃你 |
| 335 | But I'll go to you because I feel like you you're the you know the space | 但我会去找你 因为我觉得你是你知道的空间 |
| 336 | Teach me so I think that there's so many different outlets | 教我,所以我觉得 有很多不同的渠道 |
| 337 | It's like assessing yourself surround yourself with strong people if you're around people who like lose their shit | 这就像评估你自己 周围的人强 如果你周围的人 谁喜欢失去他们的狗屎 |
| 338 | Guess what you're gonna do lose your shit and don't mimic other people when they escalate don't don't don't follow the lead | 猜猜你会做什么 失去你的狗屎 不要模仿别人 当他们升级 不要不遵循领先 |
| 339 | Don't follow I get trapped in that all the time. | 别跟着我一直被困在里面 |
| 340 | I really do. | 我真的喜欢 |
| 341 | I've noticed that about me | 我注意到了这一点 |
| 342 | I keep calm. | 我保持冷静。 |
| 343 | I keep calm, but then like after a certain moment, like if someone keeps escalating | 我保持冷静,但是,然后像过一段时间, 像如果有人不断升级 |
| 344 | Keep calm at least you're doing good. | 保持冷静,至少你做得很好。 |
| 345 | You're doing good people escalate Lisa. | 你做好人 升级丽莎。 |
| 346 | It's okay | 没关系 |
| 347 | You're doing it and then they just keep escalating at some point | 你这样做,然后他们只是不断升级 在某个时候 |
| 348 | I freaking just when you when you escalate, what do you do? | 当你升级的时候 我吓坏了 你做什么的? |
| 349 | Do you yell? | 你喊吗? |
| 350 | Do you what do you do? | 你们是做什么的? |
| 351 | Yeah, my my tone gets louder. | 是啊,我的语气会大点 |
| 352 | My voice gets louder. | 我的声音越来越响。 |
| 353 | I get harsher | 我越来越严厉了 |
| 354 | I mean don't get me wrong. | 我是说别误会 |
| 355 | Like I've been in spaces like that when I feel that I really remove myself | 就像我一直在这样的空间,当我感觉 我真的去除自己 |
| 356 | I go I go I go quiet | 我走,我走,我静静 |
| 357 | So you said something earlier like I go silent when I can't keep composure | 所以,你刚才说过一些事,像我沉默 当我不能保持冷静 |
| 358 | I go silent if I disappear from someone's life | 如果我从别人的生活中消失,我就会沉默 |
| 359 | I'm done or I've gone silent like I'll remove myself or even the situation and I'll come back | 我完事了,或者我沉默了... ...好象我会去除自己,甚至情况,我会回来 |
| 360 | But if I can't keep composure like I will assert myself like you have | 但是如果我不能保持镇定 就像我会说自己像你一样 |
| 361 | Authority assert it and authority doesn't mean being a jerk | 权威主张,权威并不表示自己是个混蛋 |
| 362 | Authority doesn't mean being condescending and in fact authority is a strong influence tactic | 权威不意味着屈尊,事实上权威是一种强大的影响力策略. |
| 363 | When you are perceived as an authority in something people will acquiesce to you more | 当你在某种事物中被视为权威时 人们会更默许你 |
| 364 | This is why we acquiesce so much to to doctors because we see them as authority | 这就是为什么我们如此默许医生 因为我们认为他们是权威 |
| 365 | Law enforcement because they've got a uniform on | 执法部门因为穿制服 |
| 366 | Financial advisors so many people acquiesce to them because we'd see them as an authority | 这么多的金融顾问默许他们 因为我们会把他们看作权威 |
| 367 | meanwhile, like they could have graduated at last in their class and | 同时,好像他们终于能毕业了 |
| 368 | so well when you assert yourself as an authority in body posture and voice and speech and how you present yourself people are | 当你在身体姿势、声音和言语 以及你如何表现自己时 |
| 369 | Less likely to mess with you | 不会惹你的 |
| 370 | So from the onset like I had to learn this a lot in the interview room when I would interview people | 所以从一开始 就像我不得不在面试室里 学到很多东西 |
| 371 | Who were criminals who would see me and be like, oh man, this is going to be an easy day | 谁是罪犯谁会看到我, 像,哦,男人,这将是一个容易的一天 |
| 372 | because I worried about that initially | 因为我起初担心这个 |
| 373 | but I | 不过 |
| 374 | Controlled that from the moment. | 从那一刻起就控制了 |
| 375 | I met that person from the moment. | 我从那一刻起就认识那个人了 |
| 376 | I met them from the moment break it down | 我从那刻起就认识他们了 |
| 377 | What do you mean by that? | 这是什么意思? |
| 378 | Hi, how are you? | 嗨 你好吗? |
| 379 | I'm evy palm purists. | 我是纯棕榈的 |
| 380 | Nice to meet you. | 幸会 |
| 381 | And if I wanted to throw in special agent, I freaking would hi | 如果我想投身特别探员,我会打个招呼 |
| 382 | I'm special agent palm purists. | 我是纯棕榈派特工 |
| 383 | Nice to meet you come with me | 很高兴认识你,跟我来 |
| 384 | Now granted this was an interview environment | 现在,这是采访环境 |
| 385 | But I set the tone now this person understands that | 但我现在定了基调 这个人明白 |
| 386 | I she's an authority here. | 我是这里的权威 |
| 387 | I established myself as an authority and that's really really important | 我建立自己作为一个权威, 这真的很重要 |
| 388 | So I won't be passive passive is no-go because that that builds up and then you blow up on people | 所以我不会被动被动是不行的 因为那样会积聚起来 然后你就会对人爆炸 |
| 389 | But if i'm also dealing with someone who's like, i'm sorry a buffoon | 但是,如果我也面对的人 谁喜欢,我很抱歉 Buffoon |
| 390 | I'm done dealing with you | 我受够了 |
| 391 | I will minimize my detailing my my my dealing with you. | 我会尽量少细述我和你的关系 |
| 392 | I'll deal with you via email if I have to i'll pull back | 我会通过电子邮件处理你,如果我要撤退的话 |
| 393 | I'll have my manager deal with you. | 我会让我的经理跟你做交易的 |
| 394 | I'm like, hey, I don't want to talk to this guy. | 我不想跟这家伙说话 |
| 395 | He's a bozo | 他是个笨蛋 |
| 396 | I know I got to work with him. | 我知道我必须和他合作 |
| 397 | Can you handle him? | 你能对付他吗? |
| 398 | talk to me about that because i'm such a | 跟我说说,因为我是个 |
| 399 | advocate for like | 主张 |
| 400 | words matter | 单词重要 |
| 401 | The words you use for yourself and the words you use to others | 你用在自己和别人身上的话 |
| 402 | Um can signify either with yourself that you're inferior or | 嗯,可以表示 要么与你 低劣或 |
| 403 | superior | 高级 |
| 404 | Um, and then to others whether you feel because like you said right authority | 嗯,然后对其他人,如果你感觉 因为你说正确的权威 |
| 405 | So the language that you use in order to express the authority I assume is extremely important | 所以,你使用的语言来表达 我假定的权威是极为重要的 |
| 406 | Um, what are the things that you feel make all the difference in that situation in situations? | 嗯,什么是事物 你感觉 使所有区别 在那种情况下? |
| 407 | So verbal economics is actually an income for me came from my one of my former colleagues lee who is a great | 故言语经济学其实是我的收入 来自于我的前同事李 |
| 408 | interviewer negotiator and he said | 面试谈判员和他说 |
| 409 | He we talked about language and he said he turned the coin because we talked about how important it is the words we use | 我们谈论语言,他说他翻钱币 因为我们谈论它有多重要 我们使用的词 |
| 410 | Because we would be very mindful of the words we use when we would talk to people | 因为当我们和别人交谈时,我们会非常注意我们所用的词 |
| 411 | Because certain words can put people off and sort | 因为某些字句可以把人拖下来 |
| 412 | You know make them shut down and other words can invite them in and make you appear more open and they communicate with you more | 你懂的,让他们关闭, 其它的话可以请他们进来, 让你看起来更加开放, |
| 413 | so he would call it verbal economics meaning | 所以他称之为 语言经济学的意义 |
| 414 | We live in a time where we think | 我们生活在一个我们认为 |
| 415 | I have to say everything i'm thinking | 我要说我想的一切 |
| 416 | Like I was mentoring this woman once she's like, you know | 就像我曾经指导过这个女人一样 |
| 417 | I talk really fast because i'm trying to get everything i'm thinking out of my mouth and i'm like | 我说话非常快 因为我想把我想的都从嘴里弄出来 |
| 418 | why | 为什么 |
| 419 | Choose what you let out not every idea that pops into your head should you verbalize? | 选择你所透露的 而不是你脑海中所有的想法 |
| 420 | Because when you do that, you're not putting weight into your words | 因为当你这样做, 你没有把重量 在你的言语 |
| 421 | So verbal economics means choosing your words thoughtfully and then what you're about to say think of it as money, right? | 所以,口头经济学意味着 选择你的话 深思熟虑,然后你会说什么 把它看作金钱,对不对? |
| 422 | And the more powerful impactful the words the more money you're putting down | 影响越大的话 你越是把钱放下 |
| 423 | It's currency | 是货币 |
| 424 | That you're using with another human being and if those words you're using have currency have weight | 你用另一个人 如果你用的那些词有货币重量 |
| 425 | They're going to impact that person more | 他们将会对那个人造成更大的影响 |
| 426 | But if you're just like spewing out everything you're thinking | 但是,如果你只是喜欢 挖出你在想什么 |
| 427 | There is no currency there because nothing is really truly a value | 那里没有货币,因为没有东西是真正的价值 |
| 428 | Look, it's going to happen where people and things are going to come out the wrong way or say the wrong thing | 你看,它会发生 人和事物会出来 错误的方式或说错的东西 |
| 429 | But when you can slow it down and really use this this mindset of verbal economics my words matter and they have weight | 但当你可以慢下来,真正使用这种 语言经济学的心态 我的话很重要,他们有重量 |
| 430 | That they impact another human being in some way and it can impact them | 他们以某种方式影响另一个人,并可能影响他们 |
| 431 | In a positive or negative way and it can also impact me whether what I get from that relationship is positive or negative | 以积极或消极的方式,它也会影响我 无论我从这种关系得到什么是积极还是消极的 |
| 432 | So how do you start assessing? | 那你怎么评估? |
| 433 | Which are the high dollar bills and the low dollar bills? | 哪些是高美元和低美元? |
| 434 | It depends on the situation like | 要看情况 |
| 435 | with I talk about priming a lot in the book and priming is you can prime people to | 说到书中很多的点心 点心就是你可以引导人们 |
| 436 | To be more open with you and it's actually | 更开放的与你 实际上 |
| 437 | On good negotiators good people who do business before you do a pitch | 做好谈判的人 做生意之前你做一个投球 |
| 438 | We used to have the same even in the interview room your opening line | 我们以前在面试室也一样 你的开场白 |
| 439 | You should always write that thing down. | 你应该一直记下来 |
| 440 | That should be rehearsed. | 应该排练一下 |
| 441 | You should never fly by the seat of your pants | 你不应该在裤子的座位边上飞 |
| 442 | That opening line is going to be the defining the defining moment and how the rest of your conversation is going to go | 开场白将是决定性的时刻 以及你接下来的谈话将如何进行 |
| 443 | So like priming words, you know, hi, i'm evy. | 所以,像刺激的词, 你知道,嗨,我Evy。 |
| 444 | It's so nice to be here. | 来此欢喜. |
| 445 | Thank you for having me | 谢谢你邀请我 |
| 446 | I can't wait to talk to you about the partnership and create an open | 我迫不及待想跟你谈谈合伙人的事 并创造一个开放的 |
| 447 | Relationship and an honest one where we can cooperate together now in there. | 关系和诚实的关系 我们现在可以在那里合作 |
| 448 | I threw in priming words open | 我一言为定 |
| 449 | Cooperative relationship. | 合作关系。 |
| 450 | So i'm priming you to want to work with me to create this open environment | 所以我恳求你们跟我合作 创造这个开放的环境 |
| 451 | You can also do that with your environment as far as like having open space letting people not feel closed in | 你也可以用你的环境来做到这一点 就像有开放的空间 让人们不觉得封闭 |
| 452 | You can prime situations and people talking to people | 人能与人交谈 |
| 453 | Uh, man tables like i've like I could teach people who do interviews or talk to people like and you do | 呃,男人的桌子喜欢我 我可以教别人 谁做面试 或说话的人喜欢,你做 |
| 454 | You're solid you have open space here | 你很坚强,这里有空地 |
| 455 | But people do negotiations and they have tables between them biggest 101 fundamental never negotiate with somebody with a table between you two | 但人们谈判,他们之间有桌子 最大的101 根本不与人谈判 与一个桌子 你们两个 |
| 456 | I I taught this interviewing thing for realtors and how to sell ballot better | 我给房地产商教了面试 如何更好地卖选票 |
| 457 | I did a speaking presentation and they work so hard to like get people to connect with them to sell them like | 我做了一个演讲, 他们工作如此努力 让人们与他们联系 像卖他们 |
| 458 | Property and all this stuff and then they go to sit down to do paperwork | 财产和这些东西 然后他们坐下来做文件 |
| 459 | And what do they do you worked all this time to build this? | 你这么长时间都为这个工作? |
| 460 | Rapport and the minute you sit down at the table you just killed it because now it went from an informal | 拉波特和你坐在桌边的那一刻 你刚刚杀了它 因为现在它从一个非正式的 |
| 461 | Hey, we're buddies. | 嘿,我们是朋友。 |
| 462 | So like all right sit down and do business and think about moments somebody sits down and does business | 所以,像所有的权利坐下来做生意, 想想片刻 有人坐下来做生意 |
| 463 | What do everybody do you straighten up? | 你们都理顺什么? |
| 464 | Okay? | 好吗? |
| 465 | We're gonna do business. | 我们要做生意。 |
| 466 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 467 | I'm gonna do my interview now | 我现在要面试了 |
| 468 | I don't want that guy or gal. | 我不想要那个家伙或女孩。 |
| 469 | I want the person before I want my buddy | 在我想要我兄弟之前我想要那个人 |
| 470 | And you have a table. | 你有一个桌子。 |
| 471 | I've heard you say when you can't actually see their body and the whole point is to know body language | 我听到你说过 当你无法真正看到他们的身体时 重点是要懂得身体语言 |
| 472 | Oh, yeah, how can I read somebody's one tables work as barriers, right? | 哦,是的,我怎么能 读别人的一张桌子的工作 作为障碍,对不对? |
| 473 | So they are psychological barriers | 所以是心理障碍 |
| 474 | There's me and then there's you even I teach I have a podium. | 有我,然后有你,甚至我教 我有一个讲台。 |
| 475 | I never stand behind my podium | 我从来不站在讲台后面 |
| 476 | I come out from the podium. | 我从讲台上出来。 |
| 477 | I walk through the aisles of my classroom because I let my students know | 我走过教室的过道 因为我让我的学生知道 |
| 478 | Hey, it's not me and then you right it's us | 嘿,不是我,你是对的,是我们 |
| 479 | I'm here with you. | 我在这里和你在一起。 |
| 480 | Are we doing dates wrong then? | 我们约会有错吗? |
| 481 | Because people go on dinner dates. | 因为人们去吃饭约会。 |
| 482 | No for a date. | 没有约会 |
| 483 | You don't know the studio or guy | 你不认识工作室或男人 |
| 484 | like you want to have some space between you like | 就像你想在你们之间拥有一些空间一样 |
| 485 | Me walking through the aisle and having a couple of feet between me is different when you're sitting at a table | 我走过过过道 和我有两只脚 在我之间是不同的 当你坐在一张桌子上 |
| 486 | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
| 487 | One to two feet now on a date like I would be super thoughtful | 现在一到两英尺在约会,就像我会非常体贴 |
| 488 | Especially if you don't know somebody like first dates, especially using apps or whatever | 特别是如果你不认识第一次约会的人 尤其是使用应用程序什么的 |
| 489 | You really got to be mindful about who you meet public places the first few dates definitely have some space | 你真的要注意你和谁在公共场所相遇 前几次约会肯定有些空间 |
| 490 | Monitor that space like between you and that person don't give personal information | 监视你和那个人之间的空间 不提供个人信息 |
| 491 | Don't have them come pick you up at your home | 别让他们来你家接你 |
| 492 | I know I just went on a tangent with this but I have so many people ask me about this and i'm like | 我知道我刚刚和这个很接近 但我有这么多人问我这个 |
| 493 | You have to be really careful. | 你一定要小心点 |
| 494 | Don't trust | 别相信 |
| 495 | unconditionally like you don't know people I really like that because | 无条件像你不认识的人 我真的很喜欢因为 |
| 496 | If you know that you're about to put yourself under pressure whether it's a day or whether it's a job interview | 如果你知道自己要承受压力 不管是一天还是工作面试 |
| 497 | Whether it's something else | 不管是别的东西 |
| 498 | Having these tactics of like how far to sit from someone like I think about a lot of things | 拥有这些战术 喜欢多远坐 像我这样的人 想很多事情 |
| 499 | I don't even think about that or like how that would impact you but I think about this is what happens | 我什至不考虑 或喜欢 这将如何影响你 但我想这是发生了什么 |
| 500 | When you're under pressure you think about who yourself? | 当你承受压力的时候,你会想到自己是谁? |
| 501 | And that's all you're thinking about me me me. | 你只想着我我 |
| 502 | I I i'm under pressure | 我压力很大 |
| 503 | I'm under this and you're not thinking about the person across from you | 我在这下,你没有想到 你对面的人 |
| 504 | One of the ways I deflect pressure too for myself is i'll think about that person | 我为我自己减压的方法之一 就是想着那个人 |
| 505 | I forget about me that i'm going to present i'm going to speak i'm going on camera | 我忘记了我,我要展示 我要说话,我要上镜头 |
| 506 | And what I do is to relieve the pressure off of me. | 我要做的就是减轻我的压力 |
| 507 | I'm like, what does that person want? | 我很喜欢,那人想要什么? |
| 508 | And so when I can focus on who the recipient is I forget about myself | 所以,当我可以集中精力 谁是接受者 我忘了自己 |
| 509 | So that is truly another tactic like I just shot something | 所以,这是真正的另一种战术 像我刚才拍摄的东西 |
| 510 | Project here and you know, I wanted to make sure I did a really good job when we were shooting | 这里的项目,你知道,我想确保 我做了一个非常好的工作 当我们拍摄 |
| 511 | And I took it back to like | 我把它拿回来喜欢 |
| 512 | I'm delivering something for the viewer someone something somebody's going to see and so that's what matters | 我送东西给观众 有人会看到,所以这是最重要的 |
| 513 | So I took myself out of it. | 于是自解脱. |
| 514 | I'm nervous. | 我很紧张。 |
| 515 | I'm I want to do a good job me and I made it about them | 我想做一个好工作 我做到了他们 |
| 516 | What do they need to see? | 他们需要看到什么? |
| 517 | What do they need to hear so that it feels impactful? | 他们需要听什么才能感觉到影响? |
| 518 | And authentic and that takes that distracts me from me | 和真实的,这需要转移我的注意力 |
| 519 | But if you're presenting something so to speak | 但如果你提出这样的话 |
| 520 | Be prepared like a big part of pressure is not being prepared | 准备好像压力大的一部分 还没有准备好 |
| 521 | If you're prepared | 如果你准备好了 |
| 522 | That's one less thing you have to worry about if you got on the right outfit | 如果你穿得对的话,那就别担心了 |
| 523 | That's one less thing you have to worry about | 你不必担心这个 |
| 524 | If your hair and makeup are done in the same in the way you you feel confident | 如果你的头发和化妆都用你自信的方式 |
| 525 | That's one less thing you have you have to worry about so I look at it as columns | 你不必担心这个,我把它当柱子看 |
| 526 | Let's say i'm nervous about something right i'm nervous about speaking because i'm just nervous and the pressure of speaking | 我紧张是因为我紧张 和说话的压力 |
| 527 | So here's that column speaking. | 这是专栏 |
| 528 | I'm like, all right, here's where I have a struggle | 我很喜欢,好吧,这里我有一个斗争 |
| 529 | But what what other columns can I control? | 但我还能控制什么栏目? |
| 530 | Well, I can control what I wear so I feel good and strong | 我可以控制我穿的,这样我感觉好强 |
| 531 | And I can control how I look and I can control how much I prepare | 我能控制我的外表 也能控制我准备多少 |
| 532 | And I can control my paralinguistics my voice my speech my rate I can so i'll check all these other boxes | 我可以控制我的语言学 我的语音 我的语气率 我可以检查其他的盒子 |
| 533 | Where here it's like all right here. | 这里就像这里一样 |
| 534 | I'm still kind of | 我还是有点 |
| 535 | Flailing a bit but I control all these other things because you can go into a situation and then again going back to my previous career | 我控制了所有这些事情 因为你可以进入一个情况 然后再回到我以前的职业生涯 |
| 536 | Where we would go into situations have all these protocols in place, but in the end, I don't | 在那里,我们将进入 情况有所有这些协议, 但最终,我不 |
| 537 | Know how someone's going to respond or react or if there's going to be an attack or whatever | 知道有人会如何反应 或反应 或如果有攻击 |
| 538 | Is going to be but I controlled all these other verticals i'm prepared i'm wearing i'm i've got my gear on | 将会是,但我控制了所有这些其他垂直 我准备好了 我穿着我的装备 |
| 539 | I've got my shoes on that I need to run or fight with or whatever my hair is pulled back | 我有我的鞋子,我需要运行 或与战斗,或不管我的头发被拉回 |
| 540 | I'm confident. | 自信无碍. |
| 541 | I got a good night's sleep | 我睡了个好觉 |
| 542 | Whatever I need to do. | 无论我需要做什么。 |
| 543 | I checked all those boxes so that when something does break bad or there's pressure | 我检查了所有的箱子,这样当 事情确实坏了或者有压力 |
| 544 | I'm I'm good here. | 我在这里很好 |
| 545 | I just got to worry about here | 我只是要担心这里 |
| 546 | I love that but every time I talk to you like | 我喜欢,但每次我跟你说话喜欢 |
| 547 | The thing that always just screams so much is you just take ownership you take ownership over your actions | 总是在尖叫,你只是拥有所有权 你拥有所有权你的行为 |
| 548 | You take ownership over the outcomes and I heard you in your book talk about taking ownership over the outcome | 我听到你在书上说要当家作主 |
| 549 | And a lot of people give I like to say give away their power | 很多人给我说 放弃他们的力量 |
| 550 | By saying but this person advised me this person told me to do this | 说到做到 但这个人建议我这么做 |
| 551 | And so they're giving away their ownership over the situation, but i've heard you talk about like no | 所以他们放弃了对情况的所有权 但我听到你说的 |
| 552 | Even if other people give advice it's on you | 就算别人给你建议 也得靠你 |
| 553 | Talk to me about that. | 跟我谈谈 |
| 554 | Have you always felt like that? | 你总是这样吗? |
| 555 | How do you do that and how do you do that and not going back to the shame thing? | 你是怎么做到的 如何做到的 而不是回到羞耻的事情上 |
| 556 | Take ownership over it, but not shame yourself. | 拥有它的所有权,但不要丢脸。 |
| 557 | I love what you just said | 我喜欢你刚才说的话 |
| 558 | Because what you said is exactly right what a lot of people do is we'll blame other people because we think we're protecting ourselves | 因为你说的完全正确 很多人做的是 我们会责怪别人 因为我们认为我们在保护自己 |
| 559 | I'm going to blame this person because I don't want it on me | 我要怪这个人 因为我不想怪我 |
| 560 | But what you don't realize is in the long term you do damage to yourself because that becomes your default and now | 但你没有意识到的是,从长远来看,你伤害了自己,因为这成为你的默认,现在 |
| 561 | Nothing is your fault and everything is everybody else's fault and then nothing's going to work out for you | 没什么是你的错 一切都是别人的错 然后一切都不会对你有用 |
| 562 | And you give your power away when I blame other people I do the exact same thing and I came from an agency | 当我责怪别人时 你就会放弃你的力量 我做同样的事情 我来自一个机构 |
| 563 | But they're like, I don't they don't they don't want to hear excuses | 但他们喜欢,我不 他们不想听到借口 |
| 564 | Save your excuses. | 别找借口了 |
| 565 | So I was also groomed like own your shit | 所以,我也被培养成拥有你的狗屎 |
| 566 | You make a mistake own it you make a mistake fix it. | 你弄错了,你弄错了 |
| 567 | Nobody wants to hear it | 没人想听 |
| 568 | Find out what it is fix what it is and then that way you can move forward forward and excel | 找出它是什么 修复它是什么 然后这样你就可以前进和卓越 |
| 569 | You make yourself more insecure and you hit your own confidence when you do that when you blame other people | 你让自己更加不安全 当你责备别人时 你却打自己的信心 |
| 570 | Because you're saying all these people have control over me. | 因为你说这些人都控制着我 |
| 571 | I have no control over my fate or what happens | 我无法控制我的命运或发生的一切 |
| 572 | I'm the captain of my ship | 我是我的船长 |
| 573 | So i'm going to steer the direction it goes and if a wave comes and it knocks me over then i'm going to | 所以,我要引导它的方向,如果一波波来袭 它敲我过,我要去 |
| 574 | Fix my ship and steer another way | 修好我的飞船 开另一条路 |
| 575 | I love that so much and that so i've been as you know been suffering with health issues for five years | 我太喜欢了,而且你也知道 五年来我一直受健康问题的困扰 |
| 576 | And for the first three years, I was going to all the doctors | 头三年我去看医生 |
| 577 | Waiting for them to fix me | 等着他们来修理我 |
| 578 | But over time I figured out what was wrong with my gut and there was abuse on antibiotics | 但随着时间的推移,我发现 我的直觉有什么问题 和有滥用抗生素 |
| 579 | I was getting sick a lot. | 我经常生病 |
| 580 | And so I was blaming the doctors. | 所以我在责怪医生 |
| 581 | It's the doctor's fault | 是医生的错 |
| 582 | They were giving me too many antibiotics. | 他们给我太多抗生素了 |
| 583 | I shouldn't have been having too many they were just prescribing it | 我不应该有太多 他们只是开它 |
| 584 | And I was then going to the doctors to fix me | 我当时正要去医生那里治好我 |
| 585 | Then the ownership thing came in. | 然后,所有权的事情来了。 |
| 586 | I was like hang on a minute if I say that it's on them that caused this | 如果我说这是他们造成的 |
| 587 | How can I then take ownership over fixing it? | 那我怎么才能当家作主呢? |
| 588 | But if I flip my mind and say Lisa, this was you | 但是,如果我改变主意 说丽莎,这是你 |
| 589 | The doctors didn't force antibiotics down my throat. | 医生没有强迫我喉咙里有抗生素 |
| 590 | I swallowed them myself | 我自己吞了下来的 |
| 591 | The doctors would say, you know, I probably shouldn't give you this many antibiotics | 医生会说 我可能不该给你这么多抗生素 |
| 592 | Never once did I say why never once did I sit there with google and go | 我从来没有说过,为什么我从来没有 曾经坐在那里和谷歌走 |
| 593 | What is the worst thing that can happen if I take too many antibiotics? | 如果我服用过多的抗生素 会发生什么事? |
| 594 | And once I realized I was like, wow | 当我意识到我就像,哇 |
| 595 | This is all my fault and that's amazing because now I can fix it | 这都是我的错,很神奇,因为现在我可以修好了 |
| 596 | Now i'm not waiting for the doctors to fix me and immediately I started going to biohacking | 现在我不是在等医生给我治好 然后马上开始切除 |
| 597 | I got like glucose level monitors. | 我得到了像葡萄糖水平显示器。 |
| 598 | I and and since then over the last two years is when I've finally been able to make change | 从那以后的两年里 我终于可以做出改变 |
| 599 | Do you realize that this is this profound for me? | 你知道这对我来说很深吗? |
| 600 | Do you realize that you were taking these medications and not questioning anybody? | 你知道你服用这些药 而不是询问任何人吗? |
| 601 | Why authority? | 为什么是权威? |
| 602 | Yeah, a doctor gave it to you | 是医生给你的 |
| 603 | Oh, yes, no | 哦,是的,没有 |
| 604 | He must know why if he's telling me to take it and we don't question it's like, oh, okay doctor | 他必须知道,如果他让我接受, 我们不会质疑,就像,哦,好的医生。 |
| 605 | The doctor told me to do this the doctor told me to do that | 医生叫我这么做,医生叫我这么做 |
| 606 | but you're choosing to put it into your body like we have no sense of | 但你选择把它放进你的身体 就像我们没有感觉 |
| 607 | like responsibility over ourselves you | 就像对我们的责任一样 |
| 608 | Are responsible like I am responsible for myself. | 像我一样对自己负责 |
| 609 | So whatever happens to me happens to me because I choose certain things to some degree | 所以不管发生在我身上,我都会发生 因为我选择了某种程度的东西 |
| 610 | like I choose | 就像我选择 |
| 611 | Like I have a choice and like I monitor that decision and if I choose wrong I chose wrong | 就像我有一个选择,就像我监督决定 如果我选择错了,我选择错了 |
| 612 | Rather than like this person this if I could say one of the things that I don't want to say | 而不是像这个人 如果我能说出 我不想说的事情之一 |
| 613 | It's a pet peeve | 是宠物尿尿 |
| 614 | But one of the things that disappoints me sometimes with folks is like when I hear excuses and i'm like, why are you blaming? | 但有时候让我和别人失望的一件事 就是当我听到借口时 你为什么责怪我? |
| 615 | Everyone else for everything like life is being done to you. | 像生命一样的其他人 都会被你伤害 |
| 616 | You're not you're not doing to life | 你不是你没有做生命 |
| 617 | You're not experiencing life. | 你没有经历生活。 |
| 618 | You're not you're not doing it. | 你不是你没有做到这一点。 |
| 619 | It's being done to you | 这是对你做的 |
| 620 | Everything is being done to you and it's so easy to get into that mindset | 所有事情都发生在你身上 很容易进入这种心态 |
| 621 | Right because | 没错,因为 |
| 622 | A lot of the time excuses are valid like they're valid, right? | 很多时间的借口都是有效的,对吧? |
| 623 | If you were to come to me and you were like, oh my god | 如果你来找我,你就像, 哦,我的上帝 |
| 624 | I just got robbed and you're like this guy he was like seven fur | 我刚刚被抢,你就像这家伙 他像七毛皮一样 |
| 625 | And I didn't see him coming and so all of these things like, you know, and let's say they robbed you | 我没看见他来 所以所有这些事情都像,你知道的 假设他们抢了你 |
| 626 | But if you had said | 但是如果你说过 |
| 627 | I put my god, this is a terrible situation | 我的老天,情况很糟 |
| 628 | In fact, I don't want to be victim blaming and I worry that i'm about to go down a whole victim blames thing | 事实上,我不想成为受害者 责怪我,我担心 我会去 整个受害者责怪的事情 |
| 629 | Actually something called victimology | 其实是叫受害者心理 |
| 630 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 631 | Yes, what's victimology? | 是的,什么是受害者学? |
| 632 | Victimology is when we look at people who have been victims of crime | 受害者调查是当我们看 曾经是犯罪受害者的人 |
| 633 | To see if there's certain patterns | 看有没有某些模式 |
| 634 | And the there's there's certain things that make somebody either more or less susceptible to crime and lifestyle is one of them | 并且有某些东西 让一个人 或多或少容易犯罪 生活方式就是其中之一 |
| 635 | And so your lifestyle can impact you it's not about blaming | 所以你的生活方式会影响你 不是责备你 |
| 636 | It is lifestyle choices. | 这是生活方式的选择。 |
| 637 | How do you separate the two then? | 那你怎么把两者分开? |
| 638 | Well, it's about assessing so it's like if I go out and I get | 嗯,这是关于评估 所以它就像如果我出去,我得到 |
| 639 | drunk | 喝得烂醉 |
| 640 | And I'm with a friend and my friend leaves me | 我和一个朋友在一起 我的朋友离开了我 |
| 641 | I can either blame my friend for leaving me if something happens to me. | 我也可以怪我的朋友 离开我,如果我出了事。 |
| 642 | I could be like I went out | 我可以像出去一样 |
| 643 | I chose to get drunk | 我选择喝醉 |
| 644 | Part of that's on me | 这部分由我负责 |
| 645 | Because I didn't have a proper plan in place | 因为我没有适当的计划 |
| 646 | To make sure I had the right friend to make sure maybe I didn't go out and get drunk | 为了确定我有合适的朋友 确定也许我没有出去喝酒 |
| 647 | I growing up I avoided drinking I grew up in new york | 我从小不喝酒,在纽约长大 |
| 648 | And there's a lot of bad things happening out | 发生了很多坏事 |
| 649 | But I wanted to go out and be young and experience a nightlife | 但我想出去 年轻 体验夜生活 |
| 650 | So I chose i'm like i'm gonna choose to have my wits about me | 所以我选择了像我要去选择 有我的智慧关于我 |
| 651 | But I could still go out and so I avoided drinking because I wanted to make sure nothing happened to me | 但我还是可以出去的 所以我不喝酒 因为我想确保我没事 |
| 652 | that helped | 帮助 |
| 653 | helped me stay safe to some degree or | 帮助我保持某种程度的安全或 |
| 654 | You know working out at night like I i've expressed this to you. | 你知道在晚上工作 就像我告诉你的一样 |
| 655 | I work out at night and I go running at night | 我晚上去工作,晚上去跑步 |
| 656 | But I will make an assessment. | 但我会做一个评估。 |
| 657 | I'm like, oh man, it looks really desolate here tonight. | 我很喜欢,哦,男人, 它看起来真的荒凉今晚在这里。 |
| 658 | I'm not gonna go | 我不会去的 |
| 659 | So victimology is about looking at patterns and then the findings in the research of victimology also show that if somebody's victim | 所以受害者心理学是研究规律 然后受害者心理学研究的发现 也表明如果某人是受害者 |
| 660 | Of one crime that they potentially are victimized multiple times | 在其中一项可能多次受害的罪行中 |
| 661 | So usually you're not victim once but multiple times and I think that's a really good thing to look at not just when we're talking | 所以,通常你不是受害者一次,但多次 我认为这是非常好的 不只是当我们谈论 |
| 662 | About crime or something being happened to you, but in life. | 关于犯罪或事情发生在你身上, 但在生活中。 |
| 663 | So if you see that you're constantly being victimized by people | 所以,如果你看到 你不断成为 受害者的人 |
| 664 | Right. | 对 |
| 665 | This person took advantage of me then this person this person did this to me. | 这个人利用了我 然后这个人就这样对我 |
| 666 | So if you're constantly in that victim space | 所以如果你一直待在受害人的空间里 |
| 667 | Ask yourself. | 自问. |
| 668 | What am I doing to let people think that they can do this to me? | 我在做什么 让别人以为他们能这样对我? |
| 669 | There's something I am doing or not doing | 我到底在做还是不做 |
| 670 | That lets people think that they can treat me this way that they can take advantage of me | 让大家觉得他们可以这样对待我 来利用我 |
| 671 | And then being honest with yourself to change that | 然后对自己诚实地改变 |
| 672 | Go, I so freaking hope people hear that like I really do because if you can | 去吧,我真希望人们能听到我的话 因为如果你能 |
| 673 | If if anyone that's listening or watching can take their their emotion out of it and just listen to what you're saying | 如果有人在听或者在看的话 他们的情绪就会从中消失 然后听你的话 |
| 674 | It's so empowering | 它是如此的赋权 |
| 675 | Like it's so freaking empowering | 就像它是如此惊人的赋予能力 |
| 676 | um | 垛 |
| 677 | And that's what i'm always about like how do we look at situations that can be seen or are freaking negative? | 这就是我一直喜欢的 我们如何看待 可以看到的情况 或令人毛骨悚然的负面? |
| 678 | And go how can I use this to empower myself for next times that i'm not a victim or you know that I can | 去吧,我怎么能利用这个来增强自己的能力 来证明我是不是受害者 或者你知道我可以 |
| 679 | At some point right like you've said many times you can't control other people | 就像你说过很多次 控制不了别人 |
| 680 | You can't control if someone's going to attack you but i've even heard you say about like a breakdown of attack where they look at people | 你无法控制有人要攻击你 但我甚至听到你说的 就像攻击的破裂 他们看着人 |
| 681 | Who have their guard down? | 谁有戒备? |
| 682 | Oh, they there was a study done where they look at | 哦,他们有一个研究 他们看 |
| 683 | offenders violent offenders | 暴力犯罪者 |
| 684 | They asked them like how do you pick who you're going to target and they say? | 他们问他们 喜欢你如何选择谁 你会瞄准 他们说? |
| 685 | Oh, I just body language. | 哦,我只是身体语言。 |
| 686 | I would just assess the person and they pick targets that look easy | 我只是评估一下这个人 他们选的目标看起来很简单 |
| 687 | Distracted on their phone not paying attention | 被他们电话打乱了 |
| 688 | squeamish poor body posture | 身体状况不佳 |
| 689 | You know not paying attention. | 你知道没有注意。 |
| 690 | Whatever it is | 无论是什么 |
| 691 | If the person looks like they're going to go down easy, then | 如果这个人看起来容易下山 |
| 692 | That's what they pick. | 这就是他们选的。 |
| 693 | They don't want a fair fight bullies don't want a fair fight | 他们不想要公平斗殴 恶霸不想要公平斗殴 |
| 694 | They don't they're not looking for their equal. | 他们不是在寻找平等 |
| 695 | They're looking for people that they can take over and abuse | 他们正在寻找能够接管和虐待的人 |
| 696 | That's why children are constantly being victimized because they're the least | 这就是为什么孩子们经常成为受害者,因为他们是最小的 |
| 697 | Able to take care of themselves. | 有能力照顾自己。 |
| 698 | And so that's why you see so much of that, but that's what bullies and predators do | 这就是为什么你看到这么多, 但这是恶霸和掠食者所做的 |
| 699 | Fight back speak back walk away | 反击,退后,走开 |
| 700 | Like you have choices you have choices | 就像你有选择,你有选择 |
| 701 | You said in relationships as well that kind of threw me. | 你说在感情上 也一样把我扔了 |
| 702 | I was so thinking of you know, but people find themselves in really bad | 我很想你,但人们发现自己 在非常糟糕 |
| 703 | relationships and abusive relationships | 关系和虐待关系 |
| 704 | and they'll you know | 他们会知道的 |
| 705 | And they'll say I can't leave it's like I know i'm oversimplifying this but you have | 他们会说我不能离开... ...就像我知道我太简单了... |
| 706 | You're also making a choice | 你也在做一个选择 |
| 707 | To endure what you're enduring | 忍受你正在忍受的一切 |
| 708 | I'm not saying it's right | 我不是说这是对的 |
| 709 | Look, this is one of those super sensitive subjects and the reason why I wanted to do the show right from the beginning is talk about | 你看,这是那些超级敏感的主题之一 而为什么我想做 节目从一开始, |
| 710 | the hard things | 难事 |
| 711 | Not to make anyone feel badly but honestly to freaking empower them | 不是让别人觉得不舒服,而是诚实地赋予他们权力 |
| 712 | My end line to every episode right is be the hero of your own life | 每一集的结尾都是你的英雄 |
| 713 | and so while this is a very difficult subject for us to talk about i'm actually very um | 所以,虽然这是一个非常困难的话题 对于我们来说,我其实是非常嗯。 |
| 714 | proud that we can talk about it and I really really do hope that people hearing and watching this | 骄傲的是,我们可以谈论它 我真的希望 人们听到和观看这个 |
| 715 | See what we're trying to get to | 看看我们想得到什么 |
| 716 | Um, I want to echo we are not victim blaming we are not but you are giving people | 嗯,我想回声我们不是受害者 指责我们不是,但你给的人 |
| 717 | strategies and tactics | 战略和战术 |
| 718 | That I really freaking hope if someone watches this show today and they heard you evy | 如果今天有人看这个节目 他们听到你叫艾薇 |
| 719 | And because of that they make a change they don't get drunk in a situation or whatever it may be | 因为他们做了改变 他们不会在某种情况下喝醉 不管是什么 |
| 720 | And you may have just saved them. | 你可能刚刚救了他们 |
| 721 | So | 这么说 |
| 722 | It's important to talk about this. | 谈这个很重要 |
| 723 | So thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 724 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 725 | Thank you | 谢谢 |
| 726 | And I just want to be honest too, like i'm not unscathed. | 我只是想说实话, 像我不是无伤大雅。 |
| 727 | I'm not without scars | 我不是没有伤疤 |
| 728 | Like i've learned hard lessons as well. | 就像我也学到了艰难的教训 |
| 729 | Like i'm not completely bulletproof. | 就像我不是完全防弹的 |
| 730 | I've had | 我有过 |
| 731 | Situations happen to me bad relationships happen to happen to me bad situations. | 坏关系发生在我身上 坏情况发生在我身上。 |
| 732 | I was | и琌 |
| 733 | Victimized too, but I also like maybe made certain decisions or there was points where I could have chose differently or done something differently | 也成为牺牲品 但我也喜欢做一些决定 或者有些地方我可以选择 或做不同的事情 |
| 734 | But and I chose i'm like i'm not going to be here anymore. | 但我选择了 我好像不再在这里了 |
| 735 | It's not an easy thing | 这不是一件容易的事 |
| 736 | I'm not simplifying it | 我不会简化的 |
| 737 | But when I say this and I think what you're echoing is super important is like | 但当我说这个,我认为你所回响的 超级重要是像 |
| 738 | To give power back to that person. | 把权力还给那个人 |
| 739 | It's like you know what? | 这就像你知道什么? |
| 740 | Don't let yourself be in that victim mentality know that you have power and when you feel power and you feel strong | 别让自己陷入那种受害者心态 知道你有权力 当你感觉到力量和力量 |
| 741 | Then you can make powerful choices | 那你可以做出强有力的选择 |
| 742 | But when you live in that victim space and when somebody pushes you to live in that victim space | 但当你住在受害者空间 当有人逼你住在受害者空间 |
| 743 | Like you have you can make the choice to say i'm not going to live here anymore in this way | 就像你有,你可以做出选择 说我不会再住在这里了 |
| 744 | And how you go about it is up to you | 你如何去 这件事由你决定 |
| 745 | Look training definitely enhance that for me because I did come from in a place where like people like I don't want to hear | 看,训练绝对能加强这一点,因为我确实来自一个地方, 喜欢的人喜欢我不想听到 |
| 746 | Your excuses. | 找借口吧,你这混蛋 |
| 747 | I don't want to hear you get the job done | 我不想听到你完成任务 |
| 748 | Like we don't have time for that and then also like it couldn't be that way because I was responsible for other people's lives | 就像我们没有时间做那样,然后也像它不可能是那样 因为我要为别人的生活负责 |
| 749 | Like I had a huge responsibility whether it was protecting somebody's life, you know jumping in front of a bullet to save someone I had to be | 就像我有责任保护别人的生命一样 你知道在子弹前跳下去 拯救我必须成为的人 |
| 750 | Capable and able and willing to do that whether it's arresting somebody | 有能力 有能力 也愿意这样做 不管它逮捕谁 |
| 751 | Being thoughtful in my actions and making sure i'm not causing harm to anyone | 深思熟虑,确保我不会伤害任何人 |
| 752 | But also protecting my environment and my people or even interviewing people | 也保护我的环境和人民 甚至采访人们 |
| 753 | You know, it's just as important for me to get a confession from someone as it was to clear somebody's name | 你知道,这同样重要的是,我得到 从某人的供词,因为它是 清除某人的名字 |
| 754 | Who was being looked at for a crime that they didn't commit? | 是谁被监视的 他们没有犯罪? |
| 755 | So that the wrong person doesn't get accused. | 以免错人被指责. |
| 756 | Those are those held huge responsibilities | 这些是那些负有重大责任的人 |
| 757 | And so I had to shed these blaming others the victim and that mindset very quickly and take ownership | 所以我不得不把这些怪罪于他人 受害人和这种心态迅速 并拥有所有权 |
| 758 | Once you can get into that space where you own yourself and your decisions | 一旦你能够进入你拥有自己和决定的空间 |
| 759 | You be you start to free yourself | 你开始自由了 |
| 760 | Yeah, I know and yeah, it's easier to be like it's that person's fault or it's that person's fault have you found though | 是的,我知道,是的,它更容易 像这是人的错 或者这是他的错,你发现 |
| 761 | It's easier. | 更简. |
| 762 | But once you make the shift, it's not like I would never give my power away now ever | 但你一转身 我就不会放弃我的力量 |
| 763 | but | 不过 |
| 764 | I had to make the shift first to realize how powerful owning stuff is over | 我不得不先换个位置 才能意识到拥有的东西有多强大 |
| 765 | blaming someone else | 怪别人 |
| 766 | I think like I was very fortunate because I was in an environment for many years like I was in the service almost 13 years | 我觉得我非常幸运 因为我在环境 多年来就像我在服务 近13年 |
| 767 | and | 和 |
| 768 | That helped solidify my mindset because I was around this is why influence is so important like who's around you | 这帮助巩固了我的心态 因为我在身边 这就是为什么影响是如此重要 就像谁在你身边 |
| 769 | I was around other strong people | 我在其他强人身边 |
| 770 | Granted they were mostly men, but you know what I succeeded on the same level you did so I earned my spot | 他们大多是男人,但你知道我在你做的同样水平上成功 所以我得到了我的位子 |
| 771 | So and we respected each other and so because I was around other strong resilient people | 所以,我们尊重对方 所以,因为我身边 其它强韧的人 |
| 772 | What did I become strong resilient? | 我变强了? |
| 773 | There's moments where i'm like up | 有的时候,我像升起 |
| 774 | I'm i'm i'm blaming somebody else, you know, even if that person is wrong. | 我是在责怪别人 即使那个人错了 |
| 775 | It's like okay | 就像没事 |
| 776 | I can acknowledge this person not so good | 我可以承认这个人不是很好 |
| 777 | Maybe I won't work with them again or do business with them again or have a friendship with them | 也许我不会再和他们合作 或和他们做生意 或与他们有友谊 |
| 778 | But but again, I I chose and even if it's a bad relationship | 但再说一次,我选择了 即使这是不好的关系 |
| 779 | I've had those where i'm like | 我有我喜欢的 |
| 780 | I choose not to be here anymore | 我选择不再在这里 |
| 781 | I have to choose that | 我必须选择 |
| 782 | Love that girl | 爱那个女孩 |
| 783 | Guys guys guys if you haven't got this woman's book, i've read it three times. | 如果你没有这个女人的书 我读了三次 |
| 784 | That's how much I love it | 我就是这么喜欢的 |
| 785 | Go get this woman's book becoming bulletproof follow her at | 去找这个女人的书 成为防弹药 跟着她 |
| 786 | Evy pamperus there it is | 艾薇·潘佩鲁斯来了 |
| 787 | Um guys if you're not subscribed click that subscribe button | 嗯,伙计们,如果你没有订阅 点击该订阅按钮 |
| 788 | If you're not following me follow me at lisa billiou and until next time guys | 如果你没有跟着我 在Lisa Billiou 和直到下一次的家伙 |
| 789 | Be the hero of your own and until next time guys be the hero of your own | 做你自己的英雄,直到下次男人做你自己的英雄 |
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