前特工教授顶级共情技巧
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | When it comes to influence, empathy is king. | 当涉及到影响时,同情心就是国王. |
| 0:02 | I'm just gonna tell you that. | 我只是要告诉你。 |
| 0:04 | Let me tell you first what empathy is not. | 让我先告诉你什么是同情。 |
| 0:06 | Empathy is not being vulnerable. | 同情心并不是脆弱的。 |
| 0:08 | I know, I know, the trend is let's all be vulnerable. | 我知道,我知道,趋势是 让我们都变得脆弱。 |
| 0:12 | I'm okay with it. | 我无所谓 |
| 0:13 | Just make sure there's an outcome you're looking for. | 只要确保有一个结果 你在找。 |
| 0:17 | Don't be vulnerable just to be vulnerable. | 不要因为脆弱而变得脆弱 |
| 0:20 | What's the point? | 有什么意义? |
| 0:23 | I want you to think about what you're sharing and why. | 我要你考虑一下你分享的东西和原因 |
展开字幕全文（166 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | When it comes to influence, empathy is king. | 当涉及到影响时,同情心就是国王. |
| 2 | I'm just gonna tell you that. | 我只是要告诉你。 |
| 3 | Let me tell you first what empathy is not. | 让我先告诉你什么是同情。 |
| 4 | Empathy is not being vulnerable. | 同情心并不是脆弱的。 |
| 5 | I know, I know, the trend is let's all be vulnerable. | 我知道,我知道,趋势是 让我们都变得脆弱。 |
| 6 | I'm okay with it. | 我无所谓 |
| 7 | Just make sure there's an outcome you're looking for. | 只要确保有一个结果 你在找。 |
| 8 | Don't be vulnerable just to be vulnerable. | 不要因为脆弱而变得脆弱 |
| 9 | What's the point? | 有什么意义? |
| 10 | I want you to think about what you're sharing and why. | 我要你考虑一下你分享的东西和原因 |
| 11 | What impact does it have on other people? | 对其他人有什么影响? |
| 12 | Let me give you an example. | 让我举个例子。 |
| 13 | I did a podcast with an individual | 我和一个人做了播客 |
| 14 | and prior to going to the podcast, | 在前往播客之前, |
| 15 | I knew his father had just passed away. | 我知道他父亲刚去世 |
| 16 | Now, my father had passed away a little bit before that. | 我父亲在那之前去世了 |
| 17 | When I went to the podcast, I showed up, | 当我去播客,我出现了, |
| 18 | I saw the person and I said, hi, good to see you. | 我看到那个人,我说,嗨,很高兴见到你。 |
| 19 | You know, I heard about your father. | 我听说过你父亲的事 |
| 20 | I'm really sorry. | 对不起 |
| 21 | I can't imagine how hard that must be. | 我无法想象那会有多难 |
| 22 | And he began to tell me about his dad who passed away. | 他开始告诉我他父亲去世的事 |
| 23 | At no point during this interaction did I say, | 我从未说过 |
| 24 | you know, my dad passed away too. | 我爸爸也过世了 |
| 25 | And then start to offload what I went through. | 然后开始卸载我经历的一切 |
| 26 | Why? | 为什么? |
| 27 | Why did I not do that? | 我为什么不这么做? |
| 28 | Because that's not empathy. | 因为这不是同情心。 |
| 29 | Because in that moment, it was about him. | 因为在那一刻,这是关于他的。 |
| 30 | And it was about him and his dad | 是关于他和他爸爸的 |
| 31 | and him sharing with me his struggle | 他和我分享他的斗争 |
| 32 | and what he was going through. | 以及他所经历的一切 |
| 33 | My job in being empathetic was to sit and listen | 我的工作就是同情别人,坐着听 |
| 34 | and be there, which I did. | 并在那里,我做到了。 |
| 35 | Later on in the conversation, or actually towards the end, | 后来在谈话中,或者实际上接近尾声, |
| 36 | it came up organically, yeah, you know, | 有机地说,是的,你知道, |
| 37 | my father passed away too. | 我父亲也去世了 |
| 38 | So I can understand what that was like. | 那样我才能理解那感觉 |
| 39 | That was it. | 就这样 |
| 40 | Sometimes we think empathy is, oh, you've been through this? | 有时候我们觉得同情心是, 哦,你经历过吗? |
| 41 | Let me tell you, I've been through this too. | 我告诉你 我也经历过这个 |
| 42 | But what you're doing in that moment | 但你此时此刻所做的 |
| 43 | is you're actually robbing them of that moment. | 你居然在抢他们的时间 |
| 44 | You're making it about you. | 你是在说你自己 |
| 45 | And what do we say in this chorus? | 我们在这首歌里怎么说? |
| 46 | It's not about you. | 这不是关于你。 |
| 47 | It's about them. | 这是关于他们。 |
| 48 | Let people have that moment. | 让大家有这一时刻。 |
| 49 | You don't need to share. | 你不需要分享。 |
| 50 | You just need to be there and listen. | 你只需要在那里,并听着。 |
| 51 | Be an empathetic listener. | 作礼乐听者. |
| 52 | Empathy also isn't, I know what you're going through. | 同情也不是 我知道你在经历什么 |
| 53 | I've been there. | 我去过那里。 |
| 54 | Let's say same scenario, my father hadn't passed away. | 这么说吧 我父亲没有去世 |
| 55 | If I turned around and said to him, | 如果我转身对他说 |
| 56 | oh, I know that must be hard. | 我知道这一定很难 |
| 57 | Do I really know? | 我真的知道吗? |
| 58 | No, because my father never passed away. | 不,因为我父亲从来没有去世。 |
| 59 | Do you follow? | 你明白吗? |
| 60 | So think about how you're engaging people. | 所以,想想你是如何与人接触。 |
| 61 | Empathy is, that must be really hard. | 同情心是,那一定很难。 |
| 62 | I can't imagine what you're going through. | 我无法想象你在经历什么 |
| 63 | Empathy is, I'm sorry you're going through that. | 同情心是,我很抱歉 你正在经历。 |
| 64 | I feel for you. | 我感觉你。 |
| 65 | When you meet someone, be genuinely curious about them. | 当你遇到某个人时 一定要对他们产生真正的好奇 |
| 66 | Forget you. | 别管你 |
| 67 | Don't even talk about you. | 别提你 |
| 68 | You're gonna use Ted. | 你会用泰德。 |
| 69 | Tell me about yourself. | 说说你自己 |
| 70 | Explain to me what you do for a living. | 向我解释你的工作 |
| 71 | Describe to me what you're looking for. | 告诉我你在找什么 |
| 72 | In friendships or relationships. | 在友谊或关系。 |
| 73 | Let them do the talking and then really be curious. | 让他们说话,然后真的好奇。 |
| 74 | Really be listened. | 真的被别人听了 |
| 75 | Don't just wait to talk. | 别等闲话. |
| 76 | Don't just wait to tell them what you wanna share. | 别等着告诉他们你想分享什么 |
| 77 | Don't just wait to just own the conversation. | 别只是等闲话 |
| 78 | Be there and be present. | 在那里和在场。 |
| 79 | Show people that they matter. | 向人们展示他们的重要性。 |
| 80 | Show people that you are hearing them. | 告诉人们你听到他们的声音。 |
| 81 | Show people that you wanna have | 向人们展示你想要的 |
| 82 | a good relationship with them. | 和他们的关系很好 |
| 83 | Be genuine and be curious. | 真实而好奇. |
| 84 | If you bring bullshit, it's going to read. | 如果你带来废话,它会读。 |
| 85 | People can feel it. | 众生能觉. |
| 86 | You've had it where maybe people impose things on you, | 你有过它,也许人们 强迫你的东西, |
| 87 | try to lean you to go a certain way. | 试着让你走某种路 |
| 88 | How does that go for you? | 你怎么样? |
| 89 | You get repelled from people. | 你被人们击退了 |
| 90 | Keep this in mind too. | 记住这一点。 |
| 91 | Don't work so hard to try to find | 别这么努力找 |
| 92 | something in common with people. | 和别人有共同之处 |
| 93 | Sometimes we think I have to find something | 有时我觉得我得找点东西 |
| 94 | in common with this person so that we can connect. | 和这个人一样 这样我们才能连接 |
| 95 | It will organically happen. | 它会有机地发生。 |
| 96 | You can compliment somebody on their shoes or on their shirt. | 你可以赞美某人的鞋子或衬衫。 |
| 97 | Yes, it's a great way to kind of open that dialogue | 是的,这是一个很好的方法 开这种对话 |
| 98 | or maybe ask them about having children. | 或者问他们要生孩子 |
| 99 | Maybe you have children. | 也许你有孩子。 |
| 100 | You can do that. | 你可以做到这一点。 |
| 101 | If it organically happens, | 如果它有机发生, |
| 102 | {\fn黑体\fs20\shad2\2aH82\3aH20\4aH33\fscx95\3cH592001\be1}努力寻找东西的问题 | |
| 103 | in common with someone, it comes off fake. | 和别人的共同点是 假的 |
| 104 | You may have been the recipients of that | 你可能已经得到了这个 |
| 105 | where people are trying really hard to, | 在那里,人们正努力, |
| 106 | oh, you do that, I do that. | 哦,你这样做,我这样做。 |
| 107 | When it happens organically, wonderful. | 当它发生有机,美妙。 |
| 108 | But don't work so hard to do it. | 但别这么努力 |
| 109 | What I want you to do is put in the effort of trying. | 我要你做的是努力尝试 |
| 110 | The research shows you just merely trying | 研究表明你只是尝试 |
| 111 | to connect with someone and understand them is enough. | 和别人联系 了解他们就够了 |
| 112 | It opens the gateway to building trust, to building rapport. | 它打开了建立信任、建立关系的大门。 |
| 113 | You can use this with a family member. | 你可以用这个与家庭成员。 |
| 114 | You can use this with your kids. | 你可以用这个与你的孩子。 |
| 115 | You can use this with a colleague. | 你可以用这个和一个同事。 |
| 116 | You can use this as a supervisor | 你可以用这个当主管 |
| 117 | when you're trying to connect with your employees. | 当你试图联系你的员工。 |
| 118 | That's what this is. | 这就是它是什么。 |
| 119 | And when people feel that you are actually putting | 当人们觉得你真正在放 |
| 120 | the effort in to try to understand where they're coming from, | 努力去了解他们来自哪里 |
| 121 | and remember, you don't have to agree | 记住,你不必同意 |
| 122 | where they're coming from, | 他们从哪里来, |
| 123 | but you can accept where they're coming from. | 但你可以接受他们来自哪里 |
| 124 | I want you to draw people in. | 我要你引人进去 |
| 125 | I want people to see you and for their faces to light up | 我要人们看到你 和他们的脸亮起 |
| 126 | and say, I can't wait to speak to him. | 并说,我等不及要和他说话。 |
| 127 | Oh, I wanna talk to her. | 哦,我想和她谈谈。 |
| 128 | That's what we want. | 这是我们想要的。 |
| 129 | We want people to be pulled in. | 我们希望人们被拉进来。 |
| 130 | I want you to be a magnet because when you do that, | 我希望你成为一个磁铁 因为当你这样做, |
| 131 | you're going to have not just better relationships, | 你不只是有更好的关系, |
| 132 | but more opportunities. | 但更多的机会。 |
| 133 | More people will be coming to you. | 会有更多的人来找你 |
| 134 | Hey, you know what? | 嘿,你知道吗? |
| 135 | I've got a great project for you. | 我有一个伟大的项目给你。 |
| 136 | Hey, you know what? | 嘿,你知道吗? |
| 137 | I've got a new job for you. | 我给你找了份新工作 |
| 138 | Hey, you know what? | 嘿,你知道吗? |
| 139 | I heard so-and-so is hiring. | 听说有人在雇人 |
| 140 | They're going to present you with these opportunities | 他们会给你提供这些机会 |
| 141 | because they know that you're genuine, | 因为他们知道你是真的 |
| 142 | that you wanna communicate with people in a meaningful way. | 你想用有意义的方式与人沟通 |
| 143 | You wanna have relationships. | 你想有关系。 |
| 144 | Influence, by the way, is not something that happens fast. | 顺便说一句,影响并不是发生得很快的。 |
| 145 | Forget the fast track. | 忘了快车道。 |
| 146 | Forget, I want this now. | 算了,我现在就要这个 |
| 147 | You can get it now. | 你可以现在得到它。 |
| 148 | It's not gonna last. | 它不会持续。 |
| 149 | Put in the time and energy. | 投入时间和精力. |
| 150 | I want you to plant all those seeds | 我要你种下所有的种子 |
| 151 | so that your relationships hold strong, | 以便你们的关系稳固, |
| 152 | so that your relationships hold over years, | 这样你们的关系就维持多年了 |
| 153 | so that people you are doing business with | 让你和别人做生意 |
| 154 | don't want to leave to go do business with someone else. | 不想离开去跟别人做生意 |
| 155 | That's when you've got it locked in. | 这时候你把它锁在里面了 |
| 156 | That's when you've got trust, you've got empathy, | 当你有信任,你有同情心, |
| 157 | you've got adaptability. | 你有适应能力。 |
| 158 | You've got all these things together | 你把这些东西都放在一起 |
| 159 | and somebody else is looking at you thinking, | 还有别人在看着你思考 |
| 160 | there is no way I am leaving you to go somewhere else | 我绝对不能让你去别的地方 |
| 161 | because you are just that good for me. | 因为你对我这么好 |
| 162 | I like doing business with you. | 我喜欢跟你做生意 |
| 163 | I like the way you try to understand me. | 我喜欢你试图理解我的方式 |
| 164 | I like the way you try to see my perspective. | 我喜欢你看我的看法 |
| 165 | I like the way you adapt to problems and to issues, | 我喜欢你适应问题的方式 |
| 166 | and I appreciate the way you try to work. | 我很欣赏你努力工作的方式 |
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