【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜
共 3 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 中英字幕 | 1:06:12 |
| P2 | 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 英文字幕 | 1:06:12 |
| P3 | 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 无字幕 | 1:06:12 |
P1 · 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 p01 中英字幕 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 0:07 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 0:08 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 0:14 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 0:17 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 0:18 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud, | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 而且声音很大 |
| 0:22 | so I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 0:24 | This month, we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月,我们只需要应付噪音. |
| 0:27 | You guys say that | 你们都这么说 |
| 0:28 | you don't really hear a lot of the noise. | 你没有听到太多的噪音。 |
展开字幕全文（1418 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 2 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 3 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 4 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 5 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 6 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud, | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 而且声音很大 |
| 7 | so I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 8 | This month, we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月,我们只需要应付噪音. |
| 9 | You guys say that | 你们都这么说 |
| 10 | you don't really hear a lot of the noise. | 你没有听到太多的噪音。 |
| 11 | That's great. | 赞曰. |
| 12 | I try to minimize it in the audio editing, | 我试图在音频编辑中尽量减少它, |
| 13 | but because this place is so loud, it's even louder than the last place in Medellin, I think | 但是由于这个地方如此响亮, 它甚至比麦德林最后的地方,我认为 |
| 14 | that you will hear some of the noises. | 你将听到一些声音。 |
| 15 | I'm sorry about that, but that's just the reality of living | 我很抱歉,但这只是生活的现实 |
| 16 | in a city and living in a place. | 住在一个城市和一个地方。 |
| 17 | Before I booked an apartment, I don't know how loud it's going to be, | 在订公寓之前 我不知道会有多大声 |
| 18 | I thought this place would be quieter, but yeah, that's just life. | 我以为这个地方会比较安静, 但是啊,这只是生活。 |
| 19 | I think it helps if you don't | 你不这样会有帮助的 |
| 20 | use headphones. | 使用耳机。 |
| 21 | If you want to use headphones, that's fine, but if you don't use headphones, | 如果你想用耳机,那很好, 但如果你不使用耳机, |
| 22 | I think you don't hear as much of the background noise, but I don't know. | 我想你没有听到太多的背景噪音, 但我不知道。 |
| 23 | I like using headphones | 我喜欢用耳机 |
| 24 | when I listen to stuff, so yeah, you do what you want. | 当我听东西,所以是的, 你做你想做的。 |
| 25 | But anyways, if you're new to my new style | 不过,如果你是我新风格的新人 |
| 26 | of making videos, if you didn't watch the last episode where I talked about my four years in the | 如果你没有看上一集 我谈论我的四年 |
| 27 | Amazon, in Ecuador, living in the Amazon. | 亚马逊,厄瓜多尔人,生活在亚马逊. |
| 28 | By the way, thank you to everybody who commented on that | 顺便说一句,谢谢大家评论 |
| 29 | video, who said they love it. | 视频,谁说他们喜欢它。 |
| 30 | They want more videos like this, long style, long format stories | 他们想要更多这样的视频, 长风格,长格式的故事 |
| 31 | from my life. | 从我的生活。 |
| 32 | That really encourages me and I'm really happy about that. | 这真的鼓励我 我真的很高兴。 |
| 33 | So thank you so much for | 所以,谢谢你这么多 |
| 34 | support. | 支助。 |
| 35 | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| 36 | Yeah, so if you didn't watch that food video, basically my new style is | 是啊,所以如果你没有看 食物视频,基本上我的新风格是 |
| 37 | just recording myself talking for a while. | 刚刚录制我自己说话一段时间。 |
| 38 | Some videos are going to be like just podcasts, just | 有些视频会像播客一样 |
| 39 | like this, just talking from my mind. | 像这样,只是从我的脑海里说话。 |
| 40 | Some are going to be more like typical English teaching | 有些人会更像典型的英语教学 |
| 41 | videos that I do, but the difference is that I'm not going to be editing because I always | 视频是我做的,但区别是 我不会去编辑 因为我总是 |
| 42 | film myself for a long time and then I edit it and I get rid of everything to make it like super | 拍了很长一段时间,然后我剪辑它, 我摆脱了一切 使它像超级 |
| 43 | fast and jumpy and to hold your attention. | 动作快 动作快 注意点 |
| 44 | And then I end up wasting a lot of my time and energy | 之后我浪费了很多时间和精力 |
| 45 | doing that. | 这样做。 |
| 46 | And then you guys get even less material, less content to improve your English. | 然后,你们得到更少的材料, 更少的内容来改进你的英语。 |
| 47 | So I think it's good for you to be exposed to real English without all the cuts, the artificial | 因此,我认为这是很好的 你接触真正的英语 没有所有的切,人工 |
| 48 | cuts. | 切开。 |
| 49 | I think it's good for you to hear every time I say um, and every time I say um, but yeah, | 我觉得每次我说嗯,每次我说嗯, 对你有好处,但是是的, |
| 50 | so because you know, I do that a lot, but that's real life. | 所以,因为你知道,我这样做很多, 但这是真实的生活。 |
| 51 | That's real speaking. | 这是真的说话。 |
| 52 | It's important | 这很重要 |
| 53 | to hear the real breathing, the real speed, the real rhythm, everything, because that's real life. | 听到真正的呼吸,真正的速度,真正的节奏,一切, 因为这是真实的生活。 |
| 54 | If you really want to learn a language, that's what it is. | 如果你真的想学习一种语言,那就是它。 |
| 55 | And if you don't like it or whatever, | 如果你不喜欢它什么的, |
| 56 | if you want to change anything, you can always increase, you can increase or you can decrease | 如果你想改变任何事情, 你总是可以增加, 你可以增加或者可以减少 |
| 57 | YouTube上的视频速度。 | |
| 58 | You can always do that and you can always also turn on the | 你永远可以做到这一点, 你永远可以打开 |
| 59 | captions. | 标题。 |
| 60 | So if you want to know what I'm saying and you don't, you don't know based off listening | 所以,如果你想知道我在说什么 而你不知道,你不知道基于 倾听 |
| 61 | to what I said and you want to see the words, you can turn on the captions and yeah, you can use those | 对我说的,你想看字, 你可以打开标题,是的,你可以使用这些 |
| 62 | resources for studying English, for learning English. | 学习英语、学习英语的资源。 |
| 63 | Whatever I don't say that you're like, | 无论我说什么,你喜欢, |
| 64 | no sorry, whatever I say and you're like, what was that? | 不,对不起,无论我说什么,你喜欢什么? |
| 65 | What did she say? | 她说什么? |
| 66 | You could just turn | 你可以转身 |
| 67 | the captions go back and you'll see what it is. | 标题放回去,你会看到是什么。 |
| 68 | Hopefully, unless the captions are not very | 希望,除非标题不太 |
| 69 | accurate, but I think they are most of the time. | 准确的,但我想他们大部分时间。 |
| 70 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 71 | So today I have another very personal | 所以今天我还有另一个非常私人的 |
| 72 | story for you from my life. | 从我生命中给你的故事。 |
| 73 | So basically I'm going to be talking about why my biological father | 所以,基本上,我要谈论 为什么我的生父 |
| 74 | is unknown. | 不详。 |
| 75 | So to tell you the story, I need to start back at the beginning. | 所以,告诉你的故事, 我需要从头开始。 |
| 76 | By the way, | 对了 |
| 77 | I consider myself to be an open book. | 我认为自己是一本公开的书。 |
| 78 | So I don't have an issue with sharing a lot of personal | 所以,我没有问题 分享很多个人 |
| 79 | things about myself. | 关于我自己的事 |
| 80 | Obviously, I don't share every single personal detail. | 显然,我不分享每一个个人细节。 |
| 81 | I pick and choose | 我选择 |
| 82 | which things I'm willing to share, but generally for the most part, I am fine with sharing a lot | 我愿意分享的东西, 但总的来说,我同意分享很多 |
| 83 | about myself in my life. | 关于我的生活。 |
| 84 | I think that the art or the practice of storytelling is a beautiful ancient | 我认为讲故事的艺术或实践 是一个美丽的古老 |
| 85 | part of human culture, humanity. | 人类文化 人类的一部分 |
| 86 | And so I love it. | 所以我喜欢它。 |
| 87 | I think it's great for us to share information | 我觉得我们分享情报是件好事 |
| 88 | and share stories from our lives and we can teach each other things, inspire each other. | 分享我们生活中的故事 我们可以互相教导 互相启发 |
| 89 | We can | 我们可以 |
| 90 | just relate to each other, learn about each other and see things through different eyes. | 互相交流 互相学习 透过不同的眼睛看事物 |
| 91 | And yeah, I just think that it's a really awesome part of being a human. | 是的,我只是认为这是 一个真正真棒的一部分 作为一个人类。 |
| 92 | And we're already so | 而且我们已经如此 |
| 93 | disconnected. | 已断开 。 |
| 94 | I think that we're so disconnected. | 我觉得我们很脱节 |
| 95 | We're living so independent. | 我们活得如此独立 |
| 96 | If you go long | 如果你走长 |
| 97 | enough back, far enough back, we lived in situations where everybody knew everything about | 足够回,足够回, 我们生活的情况,每个人都知道 |
| 98 | everyone. | 每个人。 |
| 99 | We lived in tribes and stuff like that. | 我们住在部落之类的地方 |
| 100 | There was no privacy or even just really small | 没有隐私甚至很小 |
| 101 | close-knit communities. | 近亲社区. |
| 102 | So now a lot of you watching will never even meet me in real life. | 所以,现在你们很多人看 甚至永远不会见到我在现实生活中。 |
| 103 | I'll never even meet you. | 我甚至永远不会见到你。 |
| 104 | So we live so disconnected. | 所以,我们的生活是如此的脱节。 |
| 105 | It's strange. | '然怪异. |
| 106 | But yeah, I have so much personal | 但是,是的,我有这么多个人 |
| 107 | space and privacy and whatnot that I really don't see any issue with sharing stories about myself | 空间和隐私,什么 我并不认为任何问题 分享关于我自己的故事 |
| 108 | on the internet. | 在互联网上。 |
| 109 | And I think it's a beautiful thing. | 我觉得这是件好事 |
| 110 | I think we have to make effort to connect | 我想我们必须努力联系 |
| 111 | with each other because otherwise we're losing that kind of community thing. | 彼此之间,因为否则,我们就要失去那种社区。 |
| 112 | Anyways, that's | 总之,这是 |
| 113 | another tangent I could get on, but back to the point. | 我还可以继续 但回到重点 |
| 114 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 115 | So let's start at the beginning with | 所以让我们从头开始 |
| 116 | my story. | 我的故事。 |
| 117 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 118 | So where does it begin? | 从哪里开始的? |
| 119 | It begins at my conception, but you know what? | 从我怀孕开始,但你知道吗? |
| 120 | It goes back | 它会回到过去 |
| 121 | even further than that because it starts with my mother, my mother. | 更进一步,因为它开始 我的母亲,我的母亲。 |
| 122 | Her name was Rachel. | 她的名字是瑞秋。 她的名字是瑞秋。 |
| 123 | I say was | 我说是 |
| 124 | because she died when I was 14. | 因为我十四岁的时候她就死了 |
| 125 | She passed away. | 她过世了 |
| 126 | I like to just say she died. | 我想说她死了 |
| 127 | She died when I was | 我那时她死了 |
| 128 | 14. | 14个 |
| 129 | I was a freshman in high school, my first year of high school, and she died from cancer, | 我是高中新生 我高中第一年 她死于癌症 |
| 130 | but really it was from like the cancer plus the cancer treatment plus, yeah, it's like where does | 但实际上,它是从像癌症 加上癌症治疗, |
| 131 | the cancer and the cancer treatment line cross? | 癌症和癌症治疗线交叉? |
| 132 | Because cancer treatment also is toxic. | 因为癌症治疗也有毒. |
| 133 | So it's | 所以这是 |
| 134 | so yeah, anyway, she died of cancer. | 所以,无论如何,她死于癌症。 |
| 135 | But we need to go back to my mom's childhood. | 但我们需要回到我妈妈的童年 |
| 136 | My mom had a | 我妈妈有一个 |
| 137 | difficult childhood. | 难熬的童年 |
| 138 | She had a pretty horrible father for various reasons. | 她有一个相当可怕的父亲 出于各种原因。 |
| 139 | And my mom had breast | 我妈妈有乳房 |
| 140 | cancer. | 癌症。 癌症。 |
| 141 | No, sorry. | 不,对不起。 |
| 142 | I'm getting ahead of myself. | 我渐渐超前. |
| 143 | My mom had ovarian cancer when she was 12. | 我妈妈12岁时得了卵巢癌 |
| 144 | When | 何时 |
| 145 | my mom was 12 years old, she had ovarian cancer. | 我妈妈12岁 她得了卵巢癌 |
| 146 | So cancer in the ovaries. | 卵巢中的癌症。 |
| 147 | If you're a woman, | 如果你是个女人 |
| 148 | have ovaries. | 还有卵巢 |
| 149 | You have two, two ovaries. | 你有两个卵巢 |
| 150 | My mom had ovarian cancer. | 我妈妈得了卵巢癌 |
| 151 | She had one of her | 她有一个 |
| 152 | ovaries removed and she went through chemotherapy, chemo, we call it. | 卵巢被切除 然后她接受了化疗 化疗 我们称之为化疗 |
| 153 | And she basically got better. | 她基本上变好了。 |
| 154 | She went into remission. | 她恢复了记忆 |
| 155 | She was fine. | 她没事 |
| 156 | She didn't have cancer anymore. | 她没有癌症了。 |
| 157 | So she was like | 所以她喜欢 |
| 158 | cured of that. | 已经痊愈了 |
| 159 | So she lost one of her ovaries during that experience, which was very hard for | 因此她失去了她的卵巢 在那次经历中,这是非常困难的 |
| 160 | | |
| 161 | She used to tell me about how hard it was. | 她经常告诉我这有多难 |
| 162 | She'd be in the hospital. | 她会去医院的 |
| 163 | She would be throwing | 她会扔 |
| 164 | up because of the chemotherapy. | 因为化疗 |
| 165 | She hated having to wear, she used to wear wigs to school and felt | 她讨厌穿,她曾经穿假发上学,觉得 |
| 166 | embarrassed about that and uncomfortable. | 尴尬和不舒服。 |
| 167 | She said it was so uncomfortable to wear a wig and | 她说戴假发太不舒服了 |
| 168 | she would get home from school and throw it off, like take it off and throw it. | 她会从学校回家 扔下来, 像脱下来扔出去。 |
| 169 | Um, so yeah, so my, my mom dealt with that when she was 12 and she lost one of her ovaries and the | 嗯,所以是的,所以我,我妈妈处理 当她12岁 她失去了一个她的卵巢和 |
| 170 | doctor told her that she might not be able to get pregnant or she would have a decreased chance of | 医生告诉她,她可能不能怀孕,或者,她将减少 |
| 171 | getting pregnant. | 怀孕时 |
| 172 | So my mom took that very seriously. | 所以我妈很认真对待这个 |
| 173 | She believed it. | 她相信这一点。 |
| 174 | I mean, she said, | 我的意思是,她说, |
| 175 | oh wow, so I have a low chance of getting pregnant. | 哦,哇,所以我有一个 低的机会怀孕。 |
| 176 | And so I think as an adult, she wasn't so, | 所以我想作为一个成年人,她不是, |
| 177 | my mom in general, wasn't a super, super responsible person compared to like me. | 我妈妈总的来讲 和我相比 不是一个超级的 超级负责任的人 |
| 178 | For example, I think I'm very responsible. | 比如说,我觉得我有责任 |
| 179 | My mom wasn't the most responsible person in general | 我妈不是最负责任的人 |
| 180 | compared to me, but I think she was extra irresponsible as an adult because she thought | 和我相比 我觉得她作为一个成年人 特别不负责任 因为她认为 |
| 181 | that she probably couldn't get pregnant. | 她可能不会怀孕。 |
| 182 | And so I think she didn't really try to use like birth | 所以我觉得她并没有像出生那样尝试使用 |
| 183 | control, for example. | 例如,控制。 |
| 184 | So my mom got pregnant with me and it was a miracle for her. | 我妈妈怀了我,这对她来说是个奇迹 |
| 185 | She was very | 她非常喜欢 |
| 186 | happy because she wanted to have kids, but she, she wasn't trying. | 因为她想生孩子而高兴,但她没有尝试。 |
| 187 | Uh, it was still like an | 嗯,它仍然像一个 |
| 188 | accident. | 意外 意外发生 |
| 189 | I was an accident, but like a happy accident because she didn't think that she could | 我是一个意外,但就像一个快乐的事故 因为她不认为她可以 |
| 190 | get pregnant. | 怀孕了。 怀孕吗? |
| 191 | And she was 27 and she felt like she was ready, even though her life was kind of a mess, | 她27岁,她觉得自己准备好了 尽管她的生活有点乱 |
| 192 | but she had a job, um, and she was a teacher and she felt like she was ready and she wanted | 但她有份工作,嗯,她是个老师 她觉得自己准备好了,她想 |
| 193 | to have a child. | 生个孩子 |
| 194 | So she was happy about the surprise pregnancy and she learned that she | 所以她对意外怀孕感到高兴 她得知她 |
| 195 | can get pregnant. | 可能怀孕了。 。 。 |
| 196 | So when my mom was at this age, uh, before she realized she was pregnant, | 所以当我妈妈在这个年龄, 呃,在她意识到她怀孕之前, |
| 197 | she was going through a hard time. | 她经历了一个艰难的时期。 |
| 198 | Uh, my mom had a lot of personal issues her whole life. | 呃,我妈妈有很多个人问题 她的整个生活。 |
| 199 | | |
| 200 | a lot of it is from the childhood, but, um, yeah, it's complicated, but my mom overall had a lot of, | 很多都是从童年时期开始的, 但是,嗯,是的,它很复杂, 但我妈妈总体上有很多, |
| 201 | a lot of personal issues, emotional issues. | 很多个人问题 情感问题 |
| 202 | Um, and so she was going through a time in her life | 嗯,所以她经历了一个时间 在她的生活 |
| 203 | when she was around 27 where she was, I think my mom did have a problem with alcohol and I think | 她27岁左右的时候,我想我妈妈确实有酗酒的问题,我想 |
| 204 | she was partying a lot. | 她经常开派对 |
| 205 | I think she was, um, she was kind of, she had this on and off relationship | 我觉得她,嗯,她是有点, 她有这种 开和关的关系 |
| 206 | with this one guy who she was not compatible with at all, but was kind of obsessed with him, | 和一个她完全不相容的人在一起 但有点迷恋他 |
| 207 | like kind of was attached to him, but they would fight all the time. | 和他一样 但他们会一直战斗 |
| 208 | And so they had this on and | 所以他们有这个, |
| 209 | off again relationship, we call it. | 解除关系,我们称之为。 |
| 210 | So sometimes they're together. | 所以有时他们在一起。 |
| 211 | Sometimes they're not on and | 有时候,他们不在和 |
| 212 | off again. | 再次关闭。 |
| 213 | My grandma always says they were like oil and water. | 我奶奶总是说它们就像油和水 |
| 214 | They didn't mix. | 他们没有混合。 |
| 215 | Um, so, but yeah, | 嗯,所以,但没错, |
| 216 | had this kind of, kind of obsession with this, this guy, but she was, so when they were not | 有这种,那种迷恋 这个家伙, 但她是,所以当他们不是 |
| 217 | together, she was like partying and, uh, meeting other people, hanging out with other people. | 在一起,她就像聚会 和,呃,遇见其他人, 挂出其他人。 |
| 218 | And, | 还有, |
| 219 | and so during this time she got pregnant with me and she didn't know who the father was. | 所以在这段时间里 她怀上了我 她不知道父亲是谁 |
| 220 | | |
| 221 | wasn't sure who the father was. | 不知道父亲是谁 |
| 222 | So instead of doing the responsible mature thing, which is | 而不是做负责任的 成熟的事情,这就是 |
| 223 | what I think I would do is say, okay, honestly, I don't know who the father is. | 我想我会做的是说,好吧,说实话, 我不知道谁是父亲。 |
| 224 | So let's wait | 所以,让我们等待 |
| 225 | until the child is born. | 直到孩子出生为止 |
| 226 | Let's take paternity tests. | 我们做亲子鉴定吧 |
| 227 | Let's figure it out before we make any | 我们先想清楚再说 |
| 228 | assumptions. | 假设。 |
| 229 | But my mom, I think that she thought I was the child of a particular guy who was, | 但我妈妈,我想她认为我是一个孩子 一个特殊的家伙,谁是, |
| 230 | he was only in my state temporarily. | 他只是暂时在我的状态。 |
| 231 | He was like on vacation, but he was going to leave. | 他就像在度假, 但他要离开。 |
| 232 | So my mom thought that that wouldn't be a good father for me because he's, | 我妈妈觉得那对我来说不是一个好父亲 因为他... |
| 233 | he doesn't live there. | 他不住这 |
| 234 | He's going to leave soon and he lives far away and they didn't have a | 他马上就要离开了 他住在很远的地方 他们没有 |
| 235 | relationship. | 关系。 |
| 236 | Um, so she made the decision to tell the man that did live there, the man that she's, | 嗯,所以她做了决定 告诉那个住在那里的男人, 那个男人,她是, |
| 237 | she was obsessed with, that he is the father. | 她沉迷于他的父亲 |
| 238 | So she told this man, let's give him a name. | 所以她告诉了这个人 让我们给他一个名字 |
| 239 | It's | 这是 |
| 240 | not his real name because I want to change the names here, but, um, just, just so that we | 不是他的真名,因为我想在这里更改名字, 但是,嗯,只是,让我们 |
| 241 | understand the story, um, let's, okay, let's give some names here. | 了解这个故事,嗯,让我们, 好吧,让我们在这里给出一些名字。 |
| 242 | Um, I didn't even think about | 嗯,我甚至没有想到 |
| 243 | this. | 这个 |
| 244 | Um, whatever we can call my mom. | 嗯,无论我们可以叫我妈。 |
| 245 | Her real name is Rachel. | 她的真名是瑞秋(Rachel). |
| 246 | I, we can say that. | 我,我们可以这么说。 |
| 247 | Let's say my | 这么说吧 |
| 248 | mom, my mom's name is Rachel. | 我妈妈叫瑞秋 |
| 249 | I want to use her real name, but we'll give a fake name to the other | 我想用她的真名 但我们会给另一个假名 |
| 250 | people. | 人们 |
| 251 | So, um, yeah. | 所以,嗯,对了。 |
| 252 | So let's say Vincent, Vincent is the guy who lived somewhere else that was | 所以说文森特 文森特是那个住在别的地方的人 |
| 253 | leaving. | 离开 |
| 254 | And let's say that, um, William, let's say William, I'm just thinking of random names. | 让我们假设,嗯,威廉, 让我们假设威廉,我只是在想 随机的名字。 |
| 255 | William is the guy who she was obsessed with and who was living there. | 威廉是她迷恋的那个人 住在那 |
| 256 | So she told, she, | 所以她告诉,她, |
| 257 | she thought that Vincent was the child, but she was the father, sorry. | 她以为文森特是孩子 但她是父亲,对不起 |
| 258 | But she told William that | 但她告诉威廉 |
| 259 | he was the father and William was like, cause they remember, they had an on and off again | 他是父亲,威廉说,因为他们记得, 他们有一次和一次 |
| 260 | relationship, William and her. | 威廉和她的关系 |
| 261 | So he was like, I don't know if I'm the father. | 所以他说 我不知道我是不是父亲 |
| 262 | Like the dates | 像日期一样 |
| 263 | don't really seem to add up. | 似乎没什么好说的 |
| 264 | Like I don't, I don't see, I don't think so. | 譬如不见,不见,不觉. |
| 265 | But my mom and my grandma | 但我妈妈和奶奶 |
| 266 | were like, how dare you question how, like, they denied it. | 你竟敢质疑他们如何否认 |
| 267 | They said, of course, of course | 他们说,当然,当然 |
| 268 | you're the father. | 你是父亲。 |
| 269 | How dare you say that? | 你怎么敢这么说? |
| 270 | Don't say that. | 别这么说 |
| 271 | And William, now William should have | 威廉,现在威廉应该 |
| 272 | said, look, I'm not saying that I'm not, but let's just get a test done. | 说,你看,我不是说我不是, 但让我们只是做一个测试。 |
| 273 | But William said, | 但威廉说, |
| 274 | okay. | 还好。 |
| 275 | And he just accepted it. | 他刚刚接受了 |
| 276 | And he didn't push it any further. | 他没有再推了 |
| 277 | He said, all right, | 他说,好吧, |
| 278 | I'm the father. | 我是父亲。 |
| 279 | And then I was born. | 后生 I. |
| 280 | And then I think William started to feel that feeling that | 然后我觉得威廉开始感觉到 |
| 281 | a father feels when they see their children being born. | 当他们看到孩子出生时 父亲会觉得 |
| 282 | And as a baby, they, they feel | 作为一个孩子,他们感到 |
| 283 | this connection, this excitement, not as much as a mother often. | 这种连接,这种兴奋, 不像一个母亲经常。 |
| 284 | I think my mom felt it a lot | 我觉得我妈妈觉得它很多 |
| 285 | stronger, but I think that William felt this, this kind of desire to be my father. | 但我觉得威廉有这种感觉 想要成为我父亲 |
| 286 | So he didn't bring | 所以他没带 |
| 287 | it up again. | 再来一次 |
| 288 | He said, yes, I am her father. | 他说,是的,我是她父亲 |
| 289 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 290 | And I don't know, maybe it was meant to be that | 我不知道,也许这是注定的 |
| 291 | way. | 就是这样 |
| 292 | Maybe he was just, he wanted to be a dad. | 也许他只是, 他想成为一个父亲。 |
| 293 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 294 | So that's, that's the | 所以,这就是 |
| 295 | way it was. | 就是这样 |
| 296 | Now, William and my mom, they did not stay together, of course. | 现在,威廉和我妈妈, 他们没有在一起,当然。 |
| 297 | So they were quickly | 所以他们很快 |
| 298 | separated for good and they started to date other people. | 然后他们开始和别人约会 |
| 299 | And so my mom started to get with this, | 所以我妈妈开始接受这个 |
| 300 | this new guy, my stepdad, they, they ended up getting married and, and whatever. | 这个新人,我的继父, 他们,他们最后结婚了,等等。 |
| 301 | And | 还有 |
| 302 | that's still my stepfather today, even though my mom died, but they were married when she died | 今天我还是继父,虽然我妈妈死了,但他们是结婚的 |
| 303 | and he was my stepdad my whole life. | 他是我的继父 我的一生。 |
| 304 | So, so I have stepfather. | 所以我有继父了 |
| 305 | We don't need to give him a name | 我们不需要给他一个名字 |
| 306 | because he's not very important in this, in this story particularly, but yeah. | 因为在这个故事里 他并不重要 但是是的 |
| 307 | So if mother, | 所以如果妈妈 |
| 308 | so I lived half the time with my mother and stepfather and I lived half the time with my, | 所以我和妈妈和继父住在一起 和我的... |
| 309 | the man who believed he was my father, William and his new partner. | 他相信自己是我父亲 威廉和他的新搭档 |
| 310 | That was my stepmother. | 那是我的继母。 |
| 311 | They got married and yeah, eventually later on they got a divorce and whatever, but I still | 他们结婚了,是的, 最终他们离婚,什么的, 但我仍然 |
| 312 | considered that woman like my stepmother because she was a big part of my childhood. | 认为那个女人像我的继母 因为她是我童年的一大部分 |
| 313 | And I still | 我依旧 |
| 314 | have a good relationship with those step-parents today. | 今天和继父母的关系很好 |
| 315 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 316 | So, so I, I lived between these two | 所以,我,我住在这两个人之间 |
| 317 | houses. | 房屋。 |
| 318 | I grew up like this. | 我这样长大的 |
| 319 | Eventually when I was around the age of eight, eight years old, | 最终当我八八岁左右 |
| 320 | sorry, during this time also my mom had another child. | 对不起,在这段时间里,我妈妈还有另一个孩子 |
| 321 | She had a son, my brother Logan. | 她有个儿子 我弟弟洛根 |
| 322 | He was | 他曾经是 |
| 323 | when I was about five years old, six years old. | 当我大约5岁,6岁。 |
| 324 | So his father is my stepfather. | 所以他的父亲是我的继父 |
| 325 | So we have the same | 所以我们有同样的 |
| 326 | mother and a different, different father. | 母亲和不同的父亲 |
| 327 | So when I was about eight years old, William and my stepmom | 我八岁的时候,威廉和我继母 |
| 328 | got a divorce and then William started to have a hard time. | 然后威廉开始很难过 |
| 329 | He started to kind of spiral, | 他开始有点螺旋形, |
| 330 | started to go downhill. | 开始下山 |
| 331 | Everything in his life started to kind of go badly from my perspective. | 从我的角度来说,他生命中的一切 都变得很糟糕 |
| 332 | And he started to have new girlfriends and a new lifestyle. | 他开始有了新的女友和新的生活方式. |
| 333 | He was drinking. | 他在喝东西 |
| 334 | He had a problem with | 他有一个问题 |
| 335 | alcohol. | 饮酒。 |
| 336 | Pretty much all my parents had problems with alcohol. | 差不多我父母都酗酒有问题 |
| 337 | Thankfully I do not. | 幸好我没有 |
| 338 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 339 | And he, | 还有他 |
| 340 | he had a problem with alcohol, with money, with just being a responsible present father in my life. | 他有酗酒的问题, 钱的问题, 只是一个负责任的父亲 在我的生活中。 |
| 341 | He started to kind of be a bad dad. | 他开始是一个坏爸爸。 |
| 342 | Like he was good before and then he started to be | 好像他以前是好人 然后他开始是 |
| 343 | kind of bad. | 有点糟 |
| 344 | But I don't know, when I say he was good before, I think he did the, | 但我不知道,当我说 他以前是好人时, 我认为他做了, |
| 345 | I think he did the minimum of what he did, the normal thing that is required to be a father. | 我认为他做了他做过的最起码的事 做父亲的正常事情 |
| 346 | I don't like when people praise men for doing things that is just part of being a normal father. | 我不喜欢人们赞美男人 做一些只是做一个正常父亲的事情 |
| 347 | You know, like women do so much as mothers and they don't get the same praise often that men who | 你知道,就像女人做这么多 像母亲,她们没有得到同样的赞美 男人谁 |
| 348 | do like bare minimum father things with their kids get praised about. | 做一些像最小的父亲的事情 与他们的孩子得到称赞。 |
| 349 | They get praised for normal | 他们被称赞为正常人 |
| 350 | stuff. | 东西。 |
| 351 | So he was just being a normal father. | 所以他只是一个正常的父亲。 |
| 352 | But when I was around eight years old, he got a divorce | 但我八岁左右 他离婚了 |
| 353 | and he started to actually be a bad father. | 他开始是一个坏父亲。 |
| 354 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 355 | His life just got kind of messy. | 他的生活只是有点混乱。 |
| 356 | And I didn't | 我没有 |
| 357 | really want to live with him anymore. | 真的很想和他住在一起了。 |
| 358 | I didn't want to be a part. | 我不想成为其中的一部分。 |
| 359 | I wanted to see him sometimes. | 我有时想见他 |
| 360 | I still wanted him in my life, but I didn't want as much as before. | 我生命中仍然想要他 但我没有以前那么想要他 |
| 361 | And I was starting to get really | 我开始变得真的 |
| 362 | upset by his behavior because, you know, he would tell me like, oh, we're going to hang out next | 因为他会告诉我,我们接下来要出去玩 |
| 363 | weekend and then he would never show up, stuff like that. | 周末,然后他永远不会出现之类的东西。 |
| 364 | So I started to get, or a lot of things | 所以我开始得到很多东西 |
| 365 | happened. | 发生了 |
| 366 | You know, I would say how I don't want to stay at his girlfriend's house and he would get | 你知道,我会说,我如何不想 留在他的女朋友的房子,他会得到 |
| 367 | mad at me. | 生我的气,你疯了吗? |
| 368 | And, you know, just he started to be a bad dad, basically. | 而且,你知道,只是他开始 一个坏爸爸,基本上。 |
| 369 | And when I would confront him | 当我面对他 |
| 370 | about it, he never took responsibility. | 他从不承担责任 |
| 371 | You know, he never acknowledged that I was right. | 他从未承认我是对的 |
| 372 | And so I | 所以我才会 |
| 373 | started to get really angry at him. | 开始对他很生气 |
| 374 | And my mom, my mom, she, she told me that she wanted to make me | 我妈妈,我妈妈,她告诉我 她想让我 |
| 375 | feel better. | 感觉好多了。 |
| 376 | She wanted to give me hope that maybe he wasn't my father and maybe my real father was | 她想给我希望,也许他不是我父亲,也许我真正的父亲是 |
| 377 | better. | 好多了,你还好吧? |
| 378 | That's what she told me. | 这是她告诉我的。 |
| 379 | She said, you were so angry at him. | 她说,你很生他的气 |
| 380 | I thought, maybe if I tell you | 我想,也许如果我告诉你 |
| 381 | that he's, he might not be your father, it would make you happy. | 他可能不是你父亲 会让你高兴的 |
| 382 | That's what she said. | 她就是这么说的 |
| 383 | I'm just | 我只是说 |
| 384 | saying what she told me. | 说她告诉我的 |
| 385 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 386 | But I am glad that she told me, but that was a little crazy that she | 但我很高兴她告诉我, 但这是有点疯狂,她 |
| 387 | said that like that. | 这么说的 |
| 388 | But, but I understand, I understand where she was coming from. | 但是,但我知道,我知道她从哪里来。 |
| 389 | So she told | 所以她告诉 |
| 390 | me, she told me that he might not be my father. | 她告诉我他可能不是我父亲 |
| 391 | And she told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 392 | She told me about | 她告诉我的 |
| 393 | this other guy who lives in a different state. | 那个住在不同状态的人 |
| 394 | And she thinks that he is my father. | 她认为他是我父亲 |
| 395 | And she thought | 她认为 |
| 396 | that ever since I was born and that I even look more like him or there's certain, we have certain | 自从我出生以来,我甚至看起来更像他,或者肯定,我们有把握 |
| 397 | things in common. | 共同之处 |
| 398 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 399 | She gave me his name. | 她告诉我他的名字。 |
| 400 | She told me some things about him that she remembered. | 她告诉我一些关于他的事 她记得。 |
| 401 | And yeah, it was just from her memory. | 是的,这只是从她的记忆。 |
| 402 | She, she didn't have any contact with him. | 她没有和他有任何联系 |
| 403 | So she told me | 所以她告诉我 |
| 404 | that William might not be my father. | 威廉可能不是我父亲 |
| 405 | She told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 406 | She said, he might be, he said, | 她说,他可能是,他说, |
| 407 | she thinks he might be. | 她认为他可能是。 |
| 408 | She didn't tell me about anyone else. | 她没告诉我还有谁 |
| 409 | So she just said it's either Vincent | 她只是说不是文森特 |
| 410 | or William. | 或威廉。 或威廉吗? |
| 411 | She didn't give me another option. | 她没有给我另一个选择。 |
| 412 | So I thought, okay, it's between those two. | 所以我想,好吧,这是 在这两个之间。 |
| 413 | But at | 不过 |
| 414 | that age, I was like eight years old or nine years old, like one of those eight or nine. | 那时我八岁或九岁 就像那八九人中的一个 |
| 415 | And I knew that if my, I knew that if William found out about this, he would be very angry. | 我知道,如果我,我知道 如果威廉发现了这件事, 他会非常生气。 |
| 416 | He would be very upset at my mom for, for lying, for keeping this a secret. | 他对我妈妈很不高兴 因为她撒谎 隐瞒这件事 |
| 417 | And I would be caught | 我会被抓住的 |
| 418 | up in it. | 进去吧 |
| 419 | And I, I didn't want to deal with that. | 而我,我不想处理。 |
| 420 | And it kind of like protecting my mother. | 这就像保护我的母亲。 |
| 421 | I made the decision to not take a paternity test. | 我决定不做亲子鉴定 |
| 422 | I said, I don't want to know right now. | 我说,我现在不想知道。 |
| 423 | Like I don't care. | 就像我不在乎一样 |
| 424 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 425 | I said, I don't care. | 我说,我不在乎。 |
| 426 | He's been the only man that has, | 他是唯一一个 |
| 427 | you know, considered himself to be my father. | 你知道,认为自己是我父亲。 |
| 428 | He helped raise me like he is my father. | 他把我当父亲一样抚养长大 |
| 429 | So whatever, | 所以不管怎么样 |
| 430 | let's just continue with this idea that he is my father. | 让我们继续这个想法 他是我的父亲。 |
| 431 | But I always knew in the back of my head, | 但我总是在脑后知道 |
| 432 | he might not be. | 他也许不是。 |
| 433 | But I didn't, I never like saw him in a different light or felt something | 但我没有,我从来没有喜欢看到他 在不同的光或感觉的东西 |
| 434 | different toward him because of that. | 对他不同,因为那样。 |
| 435 | I truly believe that like if I was angry at him, it was | 我真心相信,如果我对他生气,那就是 |
| 436 | because of his behavior. | 因为他的行为 |
| 437 | It wasn't because I thought, oh, this man is not even my father. | 不是因为我想,哦,这个人甚至不是我父亲 |
| 438 | Like I didn't care about that. | 就像我不在乎那样 |
| 439 | I judged him for his behavior, whether he's my father or not. | 我评价他的行为 不管他是不是我父亲 |
| 440 | To me, | 对我来说 |
| 441 | father is less about the blood and more about the role that you have in someone's life. | 父亲不关心血 更关心你在别人生活中的角色 |
| 442 | And I can recognize that. | 我能认出来 |
| 443 | I could see that at that age. | 那年纪我看得出来 |
| 444 | So I said, I don't care so much. | 所以我说,我不在乎 |
| 445 | I just, | и琌 |
| 446 | I just want him to be better. | 我只想让他好起来 |
| 447 | But to be honest, I was a little bit excited. | 但说实话 我有点兴奋 |
| 448 | I was excited by the | 我很兴奋 |
| 449 | idea of maybe my father is somebody else. | 也许我父亲是别人 |
| 450 | I don't know the idea, the mystery of it, | 我不知道这个想法,它的秘密, |
| 451 | of this other father who is mysterious and interesting and unknown. | 一个神秘 有趣 未知的父亲 |
| 452 | It interested me at | 这让我感兴趣 |
| 453 | that age. | 那个年龄。 |
| 454 | It piqued my interest, but I didn't look into it. | 引起了我的兴趣 但我没有调查 |
| 455 | I didn't explore that further. | 我没有进一步探索 |
| 456 | So the years went by and my relationship with William did not get any better. | 几年过去了,我和威廉的关系也没有好转。 |
| 457 | And when I was | 当我是 |
| 458 | 14, at this point, like they had basically, my William had basically, I keep saying my, | 14,在这一点上,就像他们基本上, 我的威廉基本上,我一直说, |
| 459 | because I want to say like my dad, because that's what I called him most of my life. | 因为我想像我爸那样说 因为我一生中都这么叫他 |
| 460 | But, and I still refer to him. | 但我还是提到他 |
| 461 | I still call him my dad nowadays, but not always. | 我至今仍称他为我爸爸,但并非始终如此。 |
| 462 | It depends. | 这取决于。 |
| 463 | But anyways, I'm, I'm not giving anything away. | 但不管怎样,我,我不会放弃任何东西。 |
| 464 | I feel like you already know where the story is | 我感觉你已经知道故事在哪里了 |
| 465 | going. | 继续 |
| 466 | So yeah, I've given way too many clues, too many hints. | 所以,我放弃了太多的线索,太多的暗示。 |
| 467 | So, but maybe you don't know where | 所以,但也许你不知道在哪里 |
| 468 | the story is going. | 故事正在继续 |
| 469 | Let's see. | 让我看看。 |
| 470 | There are some twists and turns. | 有一些曲折和转弯。 |
| 471 | There are some unexpected twists | 有一些意外的曲折 |
| 472 | and turns that I think you don't anticipate. | 转过来,我认为你没有预料到。 |
| 473 | So buckle up. | 系好安全带 |
| 474 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 475 | So at this point, | 所以现在 |
| 476 | like by the time I was a teenager, William basically accepted that I live at my mom's | 就像我十几岁的时候 威廉基本上接受了我住在我妈妈家 |
| 477 | house. | 房子,这是... |
| 478 | I live with my mom and my stepdad and my brother. | 我和我妈妈、继父和弟弟住在一起 |
| 479 | And that's my home. | 这是我的家。 |
| 480 | And he just | 他刚刚 |
| 481 | would come and take me for, you know, a night, a day or two, once in a while. | 偶尔会来带我过一晚 一两天 |
| 482 | And we'd hang out. | 而我们挂出。 |
| 483 | He'd, you know, take me to his girlfriend at the times house, whichever girlfriend he had. | 他会,你知道,带我去他的女朋友 在时代的房子,无论他有女朋友。 |
| 484 | I never liked doing that. | 我从来没有喜欢这样做。 |
| 485 | I never liked any of his girlfriends or I didn't even really like him. | 我从来不喜欢他的任何女朋友 或者我真的不喜欢他。 |
| 486 | But it was my dad's, you know, I tried to make the best out of it. | 但这是我爸爸的,你知道的, 我试图使最好的出来。 |
| 487 | But yeah, I just didn't like | 但我不喜欢 |
| 488 | these kind of people. | 这种人。 |
| 489 | I felt like I had nothing in common with them. | 我觉得我跟他们没什么共同点 |
| 490 | Like they're people at the | 就像他们都是人一样 |
| 491 | end of the day, they're people, but like people are people. | 最后,他们是人, 但就像人是人。 |
| 492 | We all can relate to each other in | 我们都能在 |
| 493 | some way. | 某种方式。 |
| 494 | But I just felt like I had, I had nothing in common with these people and these | 但我觉得自己有, 我没有什么共同点 这些人和这些 |
| 495 | I would never hang out with them if I didn't have to. | 如果没必要,我绝不会和他们在一起 |
| 496 | I felt like obligated. | 我觉得我有义务 |
| 497 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 498 | And usually | 通常 |
| 499 | their house smelled like cigarettes and it made all my clothes and hair smell like cigarettes. | 他们的房子闻起来像香烟 它让我所有的衣服和头发闻起来像香烟 |
| 500 | And yeah, I just, I just didn't like a lot of things about that. | 是的,我只是,我只是不喜欢 很多事情。 |
| 501 | And I felt obligated. | 我感到有义务。 |
| 502 | I felt like my mom was like, just go make him happy. | 我觉得我妈妈喜欢, 只是去让他快乐。 |
| 503 | Go hang out with, you know, | 出去玩玩吧,你知道的,我... |
| 504 | go hang out with them. | 和他们一起玩吧 |
| 505 | And then my dad would pressure me. | 然后我爸会给我施压 |
| 506 | William, my William would pressure | 威廉,我的威廉会施压 |
| 507 | me and my mom would pressure me and everybody would pressure me to hang out, to go spend time | 我和我妈会给我压力,每个人都会给我压力,让我出去玩,去花点时间 |
| 508 | with William, with my dad at the time. | 和威廉, 和我父亲在当时。 |
| 509 | And I think that is so wrong. | 我认为这是错误的。 |
| 510 | I think that is so wrong to | 我觉得这样不对 |
| 511 | pressure a child to spend time with a family member that they don't want to spend time with. | 迫使孩子和他们不想在一起的家庭成员在一起 |
| 512 | I don't care if it's a father or mother. | 不论父母. |
| 513 | I don't care who it is. | 我不在乎是谁 |
| 514 | You should never pressure someone. | 你不应该强迫别人 |
| 515 | You never pressure a child to hang out with. | 你从不强迫一个孩子出去玩 |
| 516 | That's, I think it's horrible, honestly. | 老实说,我认为这是可怕的。 |
| 517 | But | 不过 |
| 518 | that's, that's how I felt. | 这就是我的感受 |
| 519 | And that's what was done. | 事情就是这样的 |
| 520 | And yeah, I mean, I have a long list of | 是的,我的意思是,我有一个长列表 |
| 521 | things I disagree with my parents about with the way that I was raised and the way that they are | 我不同意我父母对我成长的方式 和他们的方式 |
| 522 | and whatever. | 还有别的什么 |
| 523 | I am very different than my parents. | 我和我父母很不一样 |
| 524 | A lot of things they didn't, a lot of things they | 很多他们没有的东西, 很多他们 |
| 525 | didn't understand that I understood. | 不明白,我明白这一点。 |
| 526 | Yeah, a lot of, they had a lot of issues that I don't have. | 是啊,很多,他们有很多问题 我没有。 |
| 527 | Maybe I was born different. | 也许我生来不同 |
| 528 | Maybe I was, maybe I learned from their mistakes. | 也许我是从他们的错误中吸取教训的 |
| 529 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 530 | But | 不过 |
| 531 | yeah, my parents had a lot of issues and they didn't really know what they were doing. | 是啊,我的父母有很多问题 他们真的不知道他们在做什么。 |
| 532 | I mean, nobody really does, but they really didn't know what they were doing. | 我的意思是,没有人真的做, 但他们真的不知道 他们在做什么。 |
| 533 | So yeah, I think I'm a lot more qualified to be a parent, but we'll see. | 所以,是的,我想我更有资格 当一个父母, 但我们会看到。 |
| 534 | I don't have my own kids | 我没有自己的孩子 |
| 535 | yet, but my mom always used to like to remind me about that. | 但是,但我妈妈总是喜欢提醒我这一点。 |
| 536 | You'll see when you have your own kids. | 你会看到当你有自己的孩子。 |
| 537 | Yeah, but we're different. | 是啊,但我们是不同的。 |
| 538 | We're very different. | 我们很不一样 |
| 539 | I am very different than my mom and my everyone, | 我和我妈妈和我每个人 都不一样 |
| 540 | everyone in my family. | 我家里的每一个人 |
| 541 | I am super different. | 我超级不同。 |
| 542 | The choices I make in my life. | 我生命中的选择 |
| 543 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 544 | Anyways, | 总之, |
| 545 | I could talk about that all day long. | 我可以整天谈论这个 |
| 546 | But anyways, so at that point, yeah, my home was my mom, | 但无论如何,所以当时, 是的,我的家是我妈妈, |
| 547 | my stepdad and my brother's house. | 我的继父和我哥哥的房子。 |
| 548 | But when I was 14, my mom died. | 但当我14岁的时候,我妈妈死了。 |
| 549 | She was diagnosed with cancer | 她被诊断患有癌症 |
| 550 | when I was like 11. | 当我11岁时 |
| 551 | So she'd been living with it for like a few years. | 所以她已经和它同居了几年了 |
| 552 | So it was normal, but | 所以这是正常的,但 |
| 553 | I didn't really think she was going to die. | 我没想到她会死 |
| 554 | She would always tell me there's no cure, there's no | 她总是告诉我没有解药,没有 |
| 555 | cure, whatever. | 治疗什么的 |
| 556 | But I, I always, I never thought that she would really die, but she did. | 但我,我总是,我从来没有想过 她会真的死,但她做到了。 |
| 557 | And at | 还有 |
| 558 | that point, no, what am I saying? | 不,我在说什么? |
| 559 | What's his name? | 他叫什么来着? |
| 560 | Oh yeah, William. | 哦,对,威廉。 |
| 561 | William, when my mom died, | 威廉,当我妈妈去世时 |
| 562 | William tried to get me to go live with him and his girlfriend or wife or whatever at the time. | 威廉试图让我去 与他和他的女朋友或妻子, 或任何在当时。 |
| 563 | I don't remember. | 我不记得了 |
| 564 | And I was like, no, no, I don't want, I live with my stepdad and my brother just | 我当时想,不,不,我不想,我和我继父和我弟弟住在一起 |
| 565 | because my mom died. | 因为我妈妈死了 |
| 566 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 567 | I'm still going to live here. | 我还是要住在这里。 |
| 568 | This is my, this is my home. | 这是我的,这是我的家。 |
| 569 | This is | 这是 |
| 570 | I'm not leaving. | 我不会离开的 |
| 571 | So yeah, I think, I think he tried to fight me about that. | 所以,我想,我想,他试图 跟我争这个。 |
| 572 | I forgot a lot of | 我忘记了很多 |
| 573 | the details, but my stepdad reminded me that I think he even called the cops because he was, | 细节,但我继父提醒我, 我想他甚至报警 因为他是, |
| 574 | he was really trying to force me to live with him. | 他真的想强迫我跟他住在一起 |
| 575 | And I was like, are you crazy? | 我当时想,你疯了吗? |
| 576 | Like I have | 就像我有一样 |
| 577 | not lived with you full time since I was like seven. | 从我七岁起就一直没跟你住在一起 |
| 578 | I'm not, uh-uh. | 我没有... |
| 579 | I don't even like you, bro. | 我甚至不喜欢你,兄弟。 |
| 580 | I'm not | 我没有 |
| 581 | doing that. | 这样做。 |
| 582 | I don't even, I don't even want to hang out with you for three days. | 我甚至不,我甚至不想 挂与你三天。 |
| 583 | What do you mean | 你说什么 |
| 584 | live with you? | 跟你住吗? |
| 585 | You freaking crazy. | 你这疯子 |
| 586 | Uh, so yeah. | 嗯,所以对了。 |
| 587 | So, but eventually he, once he saw that, like, | 所以,但最终他, 一旦他看到,喜欢, |
| 588 | I think he called the cops and the cops in like, cop was like, she's, she lives here. | 我想他给警察和警察打了电话 她住在这里 |
| 589 | She's fine | 她没事 |
| 590 | here. | 在这里。 |
| 591 | I can't force her to go live with you, bro. | 我不能强迫她跟你一起住 兄弟 |
| 592 | Like this is her home. | 就像这里是她的家 |
| 593 | Like just because her mom | 就像因为她妈妈 |
| 594 | died, you know, she's still living with her brother and her stepdad and she wants to. | 她死了,你知道,她仍然 与她的哥哥和她的继父生活 她想。 |
| 595 | So, so then he | 所以,他现在 |
| 596 | backed off. | 退缩了 |
| 597 | He backed down and then because he was forced to basically, he had no choice. | 他退缩了,然后因为他基本上被迫,他别无选择。 |
| 598 | And then my stepdad was having a hard time. | 后来我继父也很难过 |
| 599 | All of these people, God, they had such a hard time | 所有这些人,上帝, 他们有这么困难的时间 |
| 600 | with life. | 与生命相伴而来。 |
| 601 | They just couldn't get it together. | 他们只是不能得到它在一起。 |
| 602 | He was having a hard time. | 他当时很辛苦 |
| 603 | He's abusing alcohol. | 他滥用酒精。 |
| 604 | He's | 琌 |
| 605 | starting to be rude to me and treat me not like, um, nobody in my family was ever physically abusive | 开始对我粗鲁对待我 不像,嗯, 没有人在我家 曾经身体虐待 |
| 606 | to me, but he would drink and he would get a little like verbally abusive, like bullying, | 对我来说,但他会喝酒, 他会得到一点点 像辱骂,像欺负, |
| 607 | like, like he would say, you know, say rude things to me. | 就像他会说,你知道, 对我说粗鲁的事情。 |
| 608 | And I was like, I was, yeah, | 我当时想,是的, |
| 609 | I didn't have a great relationship with him either. | 我也和他没有很好的关系 |
| 610 | Um, so we started to have problems and I, | 嗯,所以我们开始 有问题和我, |
| 611 | and I really wanted to stay living with my brother, but I just started to have problems | 我真的很想和我哥哥住在一起 但我开始有麻烦了 |
| 612 | with my stepdad. | 和我的继父。 |
| 613 | And so when I started to have problems with my stepdad, William saw it as an | 所以当我开始跟我的继父有问题时 威廉视之为 |
| 614 | opportunity to come in and take me to live with him, but I was still fighting that I did not want | 但我仍然在战斗,我不想 |
| 615 | to go live with William. | 和威廉一起过日子 |
| 616 | That's the last place I wanted to go live. | 这是我最不想住的地方 |
| 617 | I'd rather live with my grandma. | 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 |
| 618 | So for a time I went to live with my grandma. | 所以有一段时间我跟我奶奶住在一起 |
| 619 | Um, I lived with one of my aunts. | 嗯,我和我的一个阿姨住在一起。 |
| 620 | It's complicated. | 这很复杂。 |
| 621 | It was a whole, a whole thing, but, um, basically I was like, I want to live anywhere but with him. | 整个事情,但,嗯,基本上,我就像, 我想住任何地方,但与他。 |
| 622 | Like I will live with any family member, any person except him. | 就像我会和家人一起生活 除了他 |
| 623 | And he didn't like that. | 他不喜欢这样 |
| 624 | He was, he hated that. | 他是,他讨厌那。 |
| 625 | And so he was like calling up my aunt and like basically harassing her and | 所以他喜欢打电话给我姨妈 基本上骚扰她 |
| 626 | like just even my grandma was pressuring me to go live with him. | 就像我奶奶逼我跟他住一样 |
| 627 | Everybody was kind of like, | 每个人都喜欢, |
| 628 | I don't want to fight him. | 我不想和他战斗 |
| 629 | He's your father. | 他是你父亲 |
| 630 | He should take you. | 他应该带你走 |
| 631 | And they couldn't empathize | 他们无法同情 |
| 632 | me or understand how I felt. | 或者理解我的感觉 |
| 633 | And so it got to a point where he, William was trying so hard, | 威廉很努力地尝试 |
| 634 | fighting so hard for me to live with him that I, I got basically desperate. | 为了我和他住在一起 我非常绝望 |
| 635 | I got to, I reached | 我必须去,我到了 |
| 636 | my limit of the maximum I could take. | 我最大的极限,我能承受。 |
| 637 | I couldn't handle it anymore. | 我受不了了,我无法承受 |
| 638 | So I told him, and by the way, | 所以我告诉他,顺便说一句, |
| 639 | I'm speaking slowly. | 我说话慢。 |
| 640 | It's not because I'm feeling emotional or because I am, um, trying to talk | 不是因为我情绪激动 也不是因为我... |
| 641 | slower for you guys. | 你们慢点 |
| 642 | I'm just talking this because I'm literally thinking about what to say as like, | 我只是在说这个 因为我正想着该说什么 |
| 643 | how to tell you the story as I'm doing it. | 如何告诉你的故事 当我这样做。 |
| 644 | So I'm trying to focus. | 所以我想专注。 |
| 645 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 646 | What do I say next? | 接下来我要说什么? |
| 647 | What | 什麽? |
| 648 | do I, how do I say this? | 我该怎么说呢? |
| 649 | That's why. | 故说. |
| 650 | So yeah, so I hit, I hit my limit. | 所以,我打,我达到极限。 |
| 651 | I said, I can't take this | 我说,我受不了了 |
| 652 | anymore. | 现在。 |
| 653 | I can't handle this anymore. | 我受不了这个了 |
| 654 | There is one thing I know, there's one chance I have at | 我知道一件事,我有一个机会 |
| 655 | getting him to stop, to stop harassing, to stop trying to force me to live with him, to stop | 阻止他 停止骚扰 停止强迫我和他生活 |
| 656 | fighting. | 战斗 |
| 657 | There's one thing I can use. | 有一点我可以用 |
| 658 | There's one card I can play. | 我可以打一张牌 |
| 659 | And that is, you might not be my | 也就是说,你可能不是我的 |
| 660 | father. | 父亲 |
| 661 | I want a paternity test. | 我要做亲子鉴定 |
| 662 | William, now, give it to me now, you little. | 威廉,现在给我,你这个小家伙 |
| 663 | And so I wrote him a letter and I told him and he was all emotional. | 我给他写了封信 告诉他他很激动 |
| 664 | And believe me, | 并且相信我, |
| 665 | I truly empathize with him. | 我真心的同情他,我爱他 |
| 666 | I can't imagine 15 at this point, I was 15 years old, 15 years later, | 我无法想象15岁,15年后 |
| 667 | after thinking that I'm somebody's parent, that I'm somebody's father to find out 15 years later, | 认为我是别人的家长 认为我是别人的爸爸 发现15年后 |
| 668 | that I might not be their father or that I'm not their father, crushing. | 我可能不是他们的父亲 或者我不是他们的父亲,粉碎。 |
| 669 | I mean, obviously | 我的意思是,很明显 |
| 670 | shouldn't change the way that you feel about the person, like, you know, that you should, you know, | 不应该改变你对人的感觉 就像,你知道,你应该,你知道, |
| 671 | the way you want to still be their father. | 你想成为他们父亲的方式 |
| 672 | But just to find that out is, I think it's devastating. | 但是为了找出问题 我认为这很严重 |
| 673 | It's very upsetting. | 真让人心烦 |
| 674 | And yeah, I mean, I can't imagine. | 是的,我是说,我不能想象。 |
| 675 | I mean, I empathize with him for | 我是说 我同情他 |
| 676 | experiencing that. | 经历那。 |
| 677 | I'm sure that was very hard for him. | 我肯定那对他来说是很难的 |
| 678 | I think it's still hard for him years and | 我觉得对他来说还是很难过 |
| 679 | years later. | 数年后. |
| 680 | So yeah, so that was very hard for him to realize that he might not be. | 所以他很难意识到他可能不是 |
| 681 | But he agreed, | 不过他同意了 |
| 682 | he agreed to do it, to get a paternity test. | 他同意这样做, 得到一个父子关系测试。 |
| 683 | And so we did it. | 所以,我们做到了。 |
| 684 | We did it. | 我们成功了 |
| 685 | We went to a lab and we | 我们去了实验室 |
| 686 | did it. | 已经做到了。 |
| 687 | And then we waited patiently for the results. | 然后我们耐心等待结果。 |
| 688 | And I'll never forget the day when he | 我永远不会忘记他 |
| 689 | picked me up with his new wife or whatever. | 接我和他的新妻子什么的。 |
| 690 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 691 | You know, it's like, I don't care. | 你知道,这就像, 我不在乎。 |
| 692 | Wife, girlfriend, whoever it was. | 老婆 女朋友 不管是谁 |
| 693 | What was her name? | 她叫什么来着? |
| 694 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 695 | No, I remember. | 不,我记得 |
| 696 | I'm kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| 697 | I just didn't like her. | 我只是不喜欢她 |
| 698 | But I didn't like him either. | 但我也不喜欢他 |
| 699 | Don't get it | 你不要这样 |
| 700 | twisted. | 扭曲。 |
| 701 | I'll never forget when they picked me up and there was kind of like, I knew that this was | 我永远不会忘记 当他们来接我的时候... ... ...... |
| 702 | the day they were going to give me the results. | 那天他们要给我结果 |
| 703 | And there was this kind of tension in the air, | 空气中出现了这种紧张 |
| 704 | this kind of silence, awkward silence, tension, something in the air when I got in the car. | 这种沉默,尴尬的沉默,紧张, 东西在空中 当我上车。 |
| 705 | But I'm just like, okay. | 但我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 706 | Secretly, I was thinking probably he's not my father. | 秘密地,我在想他是不是我父亲。 |
| 707 | They want to tell | 他们想告诉 |
| 708 | me in person because they want to say, he wants to say, oh, but I still feel like I'm your father | 我亲自来,因为他们想说, 他想说,哦,但我仍然感觉我是你爸爸 |
| 709 | and he's going to do this emotional thing. | 他将会做这种情感的事情。 |
| 710 | And I need to just, even though I'm probably going to | 我需要只是, 尽管我可能要去 |
| 711 | be happy, I need to just pretend like be serious and be respectful because I understand that this | 高兴点,我需要假装认真点 尊重别人 因为我明白 |
| 712 | is hard for him. | 对他来说很难 |
| 713 | So I was just like, Hey guys, what's up? | 所以,我只是喜欢, 嘿,伙计们,怎么了? |
| 714 | How you know, how you doing blah, blah, | 你怎么知道,你怎么样 诸如此类, |
| 715 | trying to be civil, trying to be respectful. | 努力做到文明,努力做到尊重. |
| 716 | We go to a restaurant and we sit down in the restaurant. | 我们去一家餐厅,坐在餐厅里 |
| 717 | The waitress takes our order. | 服务员听我们吩咐 |
| 718 | And then after he told me, he told me the results were negative. | 然后他告诉我,他告诉我 结果是负面的。 |
| 719 | He is not my father. | 他不是我父亲 |
| 720 | William, you are not the father. | 威廉 你不是父亲 |
| 721 | And I immediately was extremely relieved, | 我立即感到非常宽慰, |
| 722 | extremely happy. | 非常快乐 |
| 723 | And that tells you everything you need to know. | 这告诉你所有你需要知道的 |
| 724 | But I didn't want to show this joy. | 但我不想展示这种快乐。 |
| 725 | So I just tried to maintain seriousness, like, okay, okay, okay. | 所以我试图保持严肃, 像,好吧,好吧,好吧。 |
| 726 | And he's telling me, | 他告诉我, |
| 727 | but this doesn't change how I feel. | 但这并不改变我的感受 |
| 728 | I'm always going to be a father. | 我永远会是一个父亲。 |
| 729 | But yeah, he's telling me | 但是,他告诉我 |
| 730 | how he just, he got really mad at my mom. | 他对我妈很生气 |
| 731 | He was swearing about my mom and he was angry toward her, | 他发誓说我妈妈 他对她生气 |
| 732 | which is reasonable, justified. | 这是合理的,合理的。 |
| 733 | Of course he has every right to be angry at my mom. | 他当然有权利对我妈生气 |
| 734 | And thankfully, | 谢天谢地, |
| 735 | she was not there. | 她不在场。 |
| 736 | She already died. | 她已经死了。 |
| 737 | So, cause if she was alive, she probably would have never | 所以,因为 如果她还活着, 她可能永远不会 |
| 738 | heard the end of that. | 听到结束。 |
| 739 | And yeah, she probably should have had to face that consequence of | 是的,她可能不得不面对 后果 |
| 740 | her action. | 她的行为。 |
| 741 | Yeah, she should have. | 是啊,她应该有。 |
| 742 | That was so wrong of her. | 这太错了她。 |
| 743 | But well, she avoided that one. | 但是,她避免了那个。 |
| 744 | And then he asked me, William asked me, like, why did you decide to bring this up now? | 然后他问我,威廉问我, 像,为什么你决定 现在提出这个? |
| 745 | Why did you decide to tell me now and to do all of this now? | 为什么你现在决定告诉我 现在做这一切? |
| 746 | Why now? | 为什么是现在? |
| 747 | And to me, I'm like, bro, | 对我来说,我就像,兄弟, |
| 748 | isn't it obvious? | 是不是很明显? |
| 749 | Like, isn't it obvious? | 是不是很明显? |
| 750 | You're being like a tyrant and this is the only way for | 你像个暴君 这是唯一的办法 |
| 751 | me to break free from you. | 我从你身上解脱出来 |
| 752 | But I told him, like, I just wanted to know. | 但我告诉他,喜欢, 我只是想知道。 |
| 753 | I'm just curious. | 我只是有点好奇 |
| 754 | Just | 刚刚 |
| 755 | curious. | 好奇吗? |
| 756 | Just curious. | 只是好奇罢了 |
| 757 | Like, bro, are you stupid? | 像,兄弟,你傻吗? |
| 758 | Are you stupid? | 你傻吗? |
| 759 | Obviously, you're an authoritarian | 很明显,你是个独裁者 |
| 760 | prick. | 阴茎。 |
| 761 | You're, you're an asshole. | 你是,你是一个混蛋。 |
| 762 | Like, you're, you're so messed up. | 喜欢,你,你是如此搞砸了。 |
| 763 | I hate you. | 我讨厌你 |
| 764 | What the hell? | 什么情况? |
| 765 | Of course I'm happy about not being your biological daughter. | 我当然很高兴没有做你的亲生女儿 |
| 766 | You can't act like you can control me, | 你不能装作可以控制我 |
| 767 | even though you're still on my birth certificate. | 即使你还在我的出生证上 |
| 768 | He is. | 没错 |
| 769 | He's still on my birth certificate. | 他还在我的出生证上 |
| 770 | And, | 还有, |
| 771 | and I still have his last name. | 我还有他的姓 |
| 772 | So, um, but yeah, but I was, I was okay because I knew this was hard | 所以,嗯,但是是的, 但我是,我没事 因为我知道这很难 |
| 773 | for him. | 为了他 |
| 774 | And yeah, I spent a good amount of my childhood with him. | 是的,我花了很多时间 与他的童年。 |
| 775 | So I was okay with being, | 所以,我没事的, |
| 776 | I was okay with continuing, like, to call him dad and to treat him like my father. | 我同意继续叫他爸爸 像对待我父亲一样 |
| 777 | But I just | 但我刚刚 |
| 778 | wanted him to know that like legally he doesn't have the right to force me to live with him. | 想要他知道在法律上 他无权强迫我和他一起生活 |
| 779 | That's all I wanted. | 这就是我想要的。 |
| 780 | You could, you could be my dad and take me to go get ice cream and whatever. | 你可以做我爸爸 带我去吃冰淇淋什么的 |
| 781 | We can ha ha and have dad daughter time, but do not force me to live with you. | 我们可以有爸爸的女儿时间, 但不要强迫我和你一起生活。 |
| 782 | So I got what I | 所以我得到了我的东西 |
| 783 | wanted. | 被通缉了 |
| 784 | And that's what I wanted. | 这就是我想要的。 |
| 785 | And yeah, so after he told me we were in the restaurant, | 所以在他告诉我我们在餐厅后 |
| 786 | right. | 对 |
| 787 | And I go to the bath, I say, I need to go to the bathroom. | 我得去洗个澡 我得去洗手间 |
| 788 | So I go to the bathroom | 所以我去厕所 |
| 789 | and I'm in the bathroom by myself and I'm just like, yes, thank you. | 我一个人在洗手间里,谢谢 |
| 790 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 791 | I was so happy. | 我很高兴。 |
| 792 | I was celebrating so hard in the bathroom. | 我在洗手间很辛苦地庆祝 |
| 793 | I was like, yes, like I went in the stall, | 我就像,是的,就像我走进摊位, |
| 794 | the toilet stall. | 厕所 |
| 795 | I was like, oh my God, I wanted, I want to have a party. | 我当时想,哦,我的上帝, 我想,我想有一个党。 |
| 796 | It's just so happy. | 真开心 |
| 797 | It's | 这是 |
| 798 | of course there was like a little bit of like, oh yeah, he's really not my dad. | 当然,有一样有点像, 哦,是的,他真的不是我爸爸。 |
| 799 | You know, obviously I have good memories with him from my childhood. | 很明显 我从小就和他有着美好的回忆 |
| 800 | Obviously I have good | 很明显,我有很好的 |
| 801 | memories with him. | 他的记忆 |
| 802 | There were many times when he was a good dad, you know, a normal dad, | 当他是一个好爸爸的时候 曾经有很多次 一个正常的爸爸 |
| 803 | but a good dad, you know, of course, of course, my family always likes to remind me that when I was | 但是个好爸爸,你知道, 当然,我的家人总是喜欢提醒我 当我是 |
| 804 | little, when I was really little, he was a good dad, you know, and I loved him. | 我小时候,他是个好爸爸,我爱他 |
| 805 | Of course, when | 当然,当 |
| 806 | kids are little, they worship their parents, you know, when their kids are little, they think | 孩子们很小,他们崇拜他们的父母, 你知道,当他们的孩子很小, 他们认为 |
| 807 | their parents are the best thing ever and they, they're gods and you know, it's very easy to be | 他们的父母是有史以来最好的 他们,他们是神 你知道,这很容易 |
| 808 | loved by little children. | 被小孩爱着 |
| 809 | And yeah, he, he's not a bad guy necessarily in general. | 是的,他,他不是一个坏人 必然在总体上。 |
| 810 | And yeah, | 没错, |
| 811 | he always would play with me, play with me and joke around with me and, you know, spoil me. | 他总是和我玩,和我玩 和我开玩笑,你知道,宠坏我。 |
| 812 | And | 还有 |
| 813 | yeah, I mean, I have a lot of good memories of him when I was a little kid and I, I recognize | 是啊,我的意思是,我有很多好的回忆 他,当我还是个孩子,我承认 |
| 814 | that and I acknowledge that. | 我承认这一点。 |
| 815 | And it's a little sad. | 则稍悲. |
| 816 | It's a little sad to think about that and, | 想想这个有点悲哀, |
| 817 | and stuff, but, but you don't get a free pass to treat me however you want when I'm a teenager, | 但你没有免费通行证 来对待我 当我还是青少年的时候 |
| 818 | just because you played Barbies with me when I was four, you know, or eight or whatever. | 就因为我四岁时 你跟我玩芭比娃娃 或者是八岁之类的 |
| 819 | Just, you don't, you can't just, you don't get like a free pass. | 只是,你没有,你不能 只是,你没有得到像一个免费通行证。 |
| 820 | You people, a lot of people | 你们这些人,很多人 |
| 821 | don't understand this, but I think times are changing and younger generations are starting | 不明白,但我觉得时代在改变 年轻一代在开始 |
| 822 | to realize this. | 要意识到这一点。 |
| 823 | This idea that we need to stop objectifying children. | 这个想法,我们需要停止 将儿童作为对象。 |
| 824 | They're not your property | 他们不是你的财产 |
| 825 | that you can just do what you want with. | 你可以随心所欲 |
| 826 | They are people. | 他们是人。 |
| 827 | You need to respect them. | 你要尊重他们 |
| 828 | And you don't | 你没有 |
| 829 | have the right, once they get to a certain age, when they're little, okay, whatever, as long as | 有权利,一旦他们到了某个年龄, 当他们很小,好吧,随便什么,只要 |
| 830 | you're not like abusing them, like, okay, you're their parent, whatever. | 你不喜欢虐待他们, 像,好吧,你是他们的父母,随便什么。 |
| 831 | But, but I would say when | 但我会说 |
| 832 | they're a teenager, twenties, when they're an adult or they're getting to be adult age, you don't | 她们是十几岁,二十几岁, 她们成年了,或者成年了,你不会 |
| 833 | have a right to be in your child's life. | 有权进入你的孩子的生活。 |
| 834 | That is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 835 | Just because you are a blood family | 就因为你是血族 |
| 836 | or just because you raised someone does not mean you have a right to be in their life when they're | 或者只是因为你养了一个人 并不意味着你有权利 在他们的生活,当他们 |
| 837 | older. | 年长。 |
| 838 | It is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 839 | You don't get respect just by being related to someone or older than | 你不只是因为和某个人或比他年长的人有亲戚关系 就得不到尊重 |
| 840 | someone. | 有人吗? |
| 841 | Respect is earned. | 尊重是赢得的。 |
| 842 | So, so yeah. | 所以,所以对了。 |
| 843 | So when my family always tells me like, he was a good dad | 所以当我的家人总是告诉我 他是个好爸爸 |
| 844 | when you were little. | 你小时候 |
| 845 | I'm just like, okay. | 我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 846 | And, you know, it's not good enough. | 而且,你知道,这还不够好。 |
| 847 | It's easy to be a | 做一个容易 |
| 848 | dad when, when your child is three and, you know, is super easy. | 爸爸,当你的孩子三岁, 你知道,是超级容易。 |
| 849 | But what about when your child is | 但当你的孩子是 |
| 850 | 13? | 13号? |
| 851 | Can you be a good dad when your child is 13? | 你的孩子13岁的时候能当个好爸爸吗? |
| 852 | What about when your child is 23? | 你的孩子23岁时怎么办? |
| 853 | Can you be a | 你能成为一个 |
| 854 | good dad when your child is 23? | 你孩子23岁的时候,是个好爸爸? |
| 855 | So, yeah. | 对 |
| 856 | So that's that. | 就这样 |
| 857 | And so I went that year, I went to go live | 于是我去了那一年,我去了生活 |
| 858 | with my, my mom's sister and aunt and I lived with her and I had two more years of high school | 我和我妈的姐姐和阿姨住在一起 我又读了两年高中 |
| 859 | before I graduated. | 在我毕业之前 |
| 860 | But I, because of my state, my state allows some students, like my state allows | 但我,因为我的州, 我的州允许一些学生, 就像我的州允许 |
| 861 | you to combine the last two years into one year if you want to. | 如果你愿意的话,你将把过去两年合并为一年。 |
| 862 | So that's what I did because I | 所以这就是我所做的,因为我 |
| 863 | didn't like school and I wanted to get out and yeah. | 不喜欢上学 我想出去,是啊。 |
| 864 | So, and I was tired of living with my family | 我厌倦了和家人住在一起 |
| 865 | and I just wanted, I wanted freedom. | 我只是想,我想要自由。 |
| 866 | I wanted to leave my state and I, so I combined the last, | 我想离开我的州和我, 所以我结合最后一个, |
| 867 | I combined the last two years. | 我合并过去两年。 |
| 868 | I graduated that, that year when I was 16 and I was able to get | 我16岁那年就毕业了,我得到了 |
| 869 | enough financial aid to allow me to go to college in Florida. | 足够我上佛罗里达大学的财政援助 |
| 870 | So I went to school, went to college | 所以我去学校,上大学 |
| 871 | in Florida. | 在佛罗里达州。 |
| 872 | So then I was kind of free. | 所以我就有点自由了 |
| 873 | I was, you know, I was, I left my home state. | 我,你知道,我是,我离开了我的家乡。 |
| 874 | I was far away | 我远道而来 |
| 875 | from, from Maine, from all my family and I was going to school and I was living there and I, | 来自缅因州,来自所有我的家人 我上学,我住在那里,我, |
| 876 | yeah. | 对 |
| 877 | So that was the last time that I saw him. | 那是我最后一次见到他 |
| 878 | Okay, but I need to go back. | 好吧,但我必须回去。 |
| 879 | I need to rewind | 我要倒车 |
| 880 | because this is an important part of the story I forgot to tell you. | 因为这是我忘记告诉你的故事的一个重要部分。 |
| 881 | So during this last year | 所以去年这段日子 |
| 882 | of high school, after I found out that William is not my father and while I was living with my aunt, | 高中的时候,我发现威廉不是我父亲 当我和我姨妈住在一起时, |
| 883 | I was curious about this Vincent guy. | 我对这个文森特很好奇 |
| 884 | I said, okay, well, if William's not my father, then | 我说,好吧,好吧, 如果威廉不是我父亲,那么 |
| 885 | Vincent must be my father. | 文森特一定是我父亲 |
| 886 | So I remembered Vincent's full name and I, I started to search | 所以我想起文森特的全名 我开始搜索 |
| 887 | on the internet and I found a guy with this name on Facebook and he looked like maybe he could be | 我在Facebook上找到一个叫这个名字的人 他看起来可能是 |
| 888 | my father. | 我的父亲。 |
| 889 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 890 | We didn't look super alike, but maybe. | 我们看起来不是超级相似,但也许。 |
| 891 | And it's hard because I was | 这很难,因为我 |
| 892 | a teenage girl. | 一个少女。 |
| 893 | It's hard to compare to like a father aged man, you know, in physical appearance | 很难比得上一个像父亲的老人, 你知道,在外表上 |
| 894 | we're very different, but yeah, but I don't know. | 我们很不一样,但是是的,但我不知道。 |
| 895 | My aunt said we looked alike. | 我姨妈说我们长得像 |
| 896 | I didn't really see | 我真的没看到 |
| 897 | it, but anyway, so I, I contacted this guy and I, and I asked him if he remembered my mom and he | 我联系了这家伙 我问他是否记得我妈妈和他 |
| 898 | said he did. | 他说他做到了。 |
| 899 | So I said, okay, so this is the guy then. | 所以我说,好吧,这就是那个家伙。 |
| 900 | And I told him, I told him what everything | 我告诉他,我告诉他一切 |
| 901 | my mom told me. | 我妈妈告诉我的 |
| 902 | And he obviously was surprised, but I think he reacted pretty good. | 显然他很惊讶 但我觉得他的反应很好 |
| 903 | He seemed like | 他看起来像 |
| 904 | a very genuine guy. | 一个非常真实的人。 |
| 905 | He seemed to be genuinely interested, happy. | 他看起来很感兴趣,很快乐 |
| 906 | He was happy to talk to me, | 他很高兴能和我说话 |
| 907 | to get to know me. | 来了解我 |
| 908 | He thought there is a chance I am your father. | 他以为我是你父亲 |
| 909 | He was living in a different | 他住的地方不一样 |
| 910 | part of the country. | 国家的一部分。 |
| 911 | He had his own family. | 他有自己的家庭。 |
| 912 | He had two kids that were younger than me, obviously. | 显然他有两个比我小的孩子 |
| 913 | And yeah, so we started to, we started to talk, like to get to know each other. | 是啊,所以我们开始, 我们开始谈, 像开始了解对方。 |
| 914 | We started to | 我们开始 |
| 915 | talk on the phone, like multiple times a week. | 在电话上说话, 像每周多次。 |
| 916 | Like he would call me after school and we would | 就像他放学后打电话给我一样 |
| 917 | just talk. | 说话就好 |
| 918 | I don't know why we talked so long before getting a paternity test. | 我不知道我们为什么在做亲子鉴定之前就谈了这么久 |
| 919 | I think we were | 我想我们是 |
| 920 | trying to figure out how to do it because we were in different places, but I was waiting for him to | 试图想出怎么做,因为我们在不同的地方, 但我在等待他 |
| 921 | figure it out. | 想办法 |
| 922 | I think he was busy with a lot of things going on, but he made time to talk to me | 我觉得他忙着很多事情 但他有时间跟我说话 |
| 923 | to get to know me. | 来了解我 |
| 924 | And he seemed like a cool guy. | 他看起来是个很酷的家伙 |
| 925 | And I was like, Oh, this would be cool if he was | 我当时就想,哦,如果他是... |
| 926 | my dad. | 我的父亲。 |
| 927 | Like he seemed, I wasn't looking for a father figure. | 就像他看起来,我不是在找一个父亲 |
| 928 | I never was looking for a father | 我从来没有找过父亲 |
| 929 | figure. | 数字。 |
| 930 | I just wanted to know who my biological father was because I was interested in knowing | 我只是想知道我的生父是谁 因为我有兴趣知道 |
| 931 | what he looks like, what his genetics are, what his personality is like. | 他的长相,他的遗传学,他的个性是什么样. |
| 932 | Cause I would like to | 因为我想 |
| 933 | know who my biological father is so that I can see how we compare what we have in common, | 知道我的亲生父亲是谁 这样我就能看见我们如何比较 我们的共同点 |
| 934 | what things I might get from him. | 我可能从他那里得到什么 |
| 935 | I think that's interesting. | 我认为这很有趣。 |
| 936 | I mean, who, who wouldn't know, | 我的意思是,谁,谁不知道, |
| 937 | who wouldn't want to know who their biological parents are, right? | 谁不想知道他们的亲生父母是谁? |
| 938 | Just out of curiosity. | 出于好奇 |
| 939 | But I | 不过 |
| 940 | wasn't looking to like live with him or move to where he is or like, I don't know. | 不想和他住在一起 或者搬到他现在或喜欢的地方 我不知道 |
| 941 | And so | 这样 |
| 942 | finally we, we, he ordered a paternity test. | 最后我们,我们,我们, 他命令一个父子关系测试。 |
| 943 | And so how it works is it's like through the mail. | 因此,它是如何工作的,就像通过邮件。 |
| 944 | So they sent me a little test. | 所以他们送我一个小测试。 |
| 945 | So I take a swab of my saliva or whatever, and I mail it, mail it | 所以我拿我的唾液什么的, 我邮寄,邮寄 |
| 946 | out. | 出来。 |
| 947 | And so we did that kind of a thing because we were living in different places. | 所以我们做了这种事情,因为我们生活在不同的地方。 |
| 948 | And then finally | 终于 |
| 949 | we got the result and it was negative, which means he, he is not my father. | 我们得到了结果,这是负面的, 这意味着他,他不是我父亲。 |
| 950 | And we were both | 我们都是 |
| 951 | very surprised because like I said, my mom never gave me another name. | 非常惊讶,因为就像我说的, 我妈妈从来没有给我另一个名字。 |
| 952 | So I don't, I didn't know, | 所以我没有,我不知道, |
| 953 | if it's not him, who would it be? | 如果不是他,那会是谁? |
| 954 | Everybody was shocked. | 每个人都很震惊。 |
| 955 | My aunt, my grandma, like everybody was | 我阿姨,我奶奶,就像大家一样 |
| 956 | like, I don't believe that. | 喜欢,我不相信。 |
| 957 | To this day, I think my aunt and grandma think that he somehow faked it | 直到今天,我觉得我姑妈和奶奶都认为他伪造了 |
| 958 | or they think that he faked the test or he did something to, to mess it up. | 或者他们认为他伪造了测试 或者他做了一些事情 搞砸了它。 |
| 959 | But they never really | 但是他们从来没有真正 |
| 960 | talked to him. | 跟他谈过了 |
| 961 | I talked to him for months. | 我跟他谈了几个月 |
| 962 | Yes, I was 16 years old and you never know. | 是的,当时我16岁,你永远不知道。 |
| 963 | Somebody | 有人吗? |
| 964 | might seem like a honest person and then they're really not. | 也许看起来是个诚实的人 然后他们真的不是 |
| 965 | I don't think he faked it. | 我不认为他伪造的。 |
| 966 | They think | 他们觉得 |
| 967 | he faked it. | 他伪造的 |
| 968 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 969 | But he seemed very surprised by the result. | 但他似乎对结果非常惊讶. |
| 970 | And so he decided to | 所以他决定 |
| 971 | order another one and it wasn't cheap. | 再点一个,不便宜 |
| 972 | It was kind of expensive. | 有点贵 |
| 973 | He ordered another one because he | 他又订了一张,因为他 |
| 974 | just, he didn't believe the result. | 只是他不相信结果 |
| 975 | That's what he said. | 他就是这么说的 |
| 976 | And so we took another one, came back | 于是我们又拿了一张回来 |
| 977 | negative. | 负. |
| 978 | So at this point, it's kind of like, you just have to accept this guy is not your father | 所以,现在,这有点像, 你只需要接受这家伙不是你爸爸 |
| 979 | unless you're my aunt or my grandma. | 除非你是我姨妈或祖母 |
| 980 | They still think he is. | 他们仍然认为他是。 |
| 981 | They think he faked it. | 他们认为是他伪造的 |
| 982 | I think they're | 我想他们是 |
| 983 | in denial and they just, no, I don't really know if they still think that. | 在否认,他们只是, 不,我真的不知道 如果他们仍然认为。 |
| 984 | But yeah, I think they | 但是,我想他们 |
| 985 | just didn't want to accept that my mom had many partners at the time and she was not doing well. | 只是不想接受我妈妈当时有很多搭档 而她表现不好 |
| 986 | And she, yeah, there's more than just two options of who my father is. | 她,是的,有不止两个选择 谁是我父亲。 |
| 987 | But I can accept, I believe it. | 但我可以接受,我相信这一点。 |
| 988 | And so, yeah, so it was a little sad because I think even this guy, Vincent, he was like a little, | 所以,是的,所以它有点悲伤 因为我认为即使这个人,文森特, 他就像一点点, |
| 989 | seemed a little disappointed that he's not my father because he'd been talking to me for months | 他好像有点失望,他不是我父亲 因为他已经跟我说话好几个月了 |
| 990 | and he thought we had a lot in common. | 他认为我们有很多共同点 |
| 991 | And I think he was a little disappointed, but he was like, | 我觉得他有点失望, 但他喜欢, |
| 992 | okay, well, life goes on. | 好了,好了,生活继续。 |
| 993 | But he was a nice guy and I never, I never got any sign. | 但他是个好人,我从来没有,我没有任何迹象。 |
| 994 | I never felt | 我从来没有感觉 |
| 995 | any sign of like shadiness, like not being a genuine person, like lying or not having good | 任何像阴暗的征兆, 像不是一个真正的人, 像说谎或没有好 |
| 996 | intentions or I never felt that. | 或者我从未感觉到 |
| 997 | I felt like he was very genuine. | 我觉得他很真诚 |
| 998 | So that happened with Vincent. | 文森特就是这样 |
| 999 | So here I am. | 所以我在这里。 |
| 1000 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1001 | William's not my father. | 威廉不是我父亲 |
| 1002 | Vincent's not my father. | 文森特不是我父亲 |
| 1003 | Who is it? | 是谁? |
| 1004 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1005 | Nobody has any names. | 没人知道名字 |
| 1006 | Only my mom would know. | 只有我妈知道 |
| 1007 | This is what I thought. | 这就是我的想法。 |
| 1008 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1009 | Nobody's saying anything. | 没有人在说什么。 |
| 1010 | So the years go by, like I told you in my last video, I went to Florida | 岁月流逝,就像我上次录影时告诉你的,我去了佛罗里达州 |
| 1011 | for a few years. | 几年时间 |
| 1012 | I moved to Ecuador. | 我搬到了厄瓜多尔。 |
| 1013 | I lived in the Amazon in Ecuador for years. | 我在厄瓜多尔的亚马逊生活了好几年。 |
| 1014 | I didn't go back | 我没有回去 |
| 1015 | to my home state. | 去我的家乡 |
| 1016 | I didn't go back to Maine until 10 years later, until I was 26. | 直到10年后我才回到缅因州,直到26岁. |
| 1017 | I left when I was | 我离开的时候 |
| 1018 | 16. | 16号. |
| 1019 | I went back when I was 26. | 我26岁时回去了 |
| 1020 | That is when I started to try to rekindle my relationships | 那时我开始尝试重燃我的感情 |
| 1021 | with my family members. | 与我家人。 与我的家庭成员。 |
| 1022 | I started to try to like start over, like clean slate. | 我开始尝试重新开始, 像干净的板块。 |
| 1023 | Let's start over. | 让我们重新开始。 |
| 1024 | What happened in the past, what happened in the past, I'm older now, 10 years have gone by. | 过去发生的事情,过去发生的事情,我现在年纪大了,十年过去了. |
| 1025 | I've gone through healing and growing up and you know, I think I've dealt with some of my trauma | 我经历了治疗和成长, 你知道, 我想我已经处理了一些创伤 |
| 1026 | and whatever. | 还有别的什么 |
| 1027 | I understand that we are very different and my family members did a lot of | 我知道我们很不一样 我的家人做了很多 |
| 1028 | But you know, everybody is living for the first time. | 但你知道 每个人都是第一次活着 |
| 1029 | Everybody is living for the first time | 每个人都是第一次活着 |
| 1030 | in this life, in their current body. | 在他们现在的身体里 |
| 1031 | Even if you believe in reincarnation, everybody | 即使你相信转世,每个人 |
| 1032 | was born very recently, at least in this lifetime. | 出生于最近,至少在这一辈子。 |
| 1033 | And so we all are just trying to figure out life | 所以,我们都在试图 找出生活 |
| 1034 | as we go and we all have different experiences and we all make different decisions and think | 当我们去,我们都有不同的经历, 我们都做出不同的决定和思考 |
| 1035 | differently and whatever. | 不同或别的 |
| 1036 | So I'll never forget things, but I forgive my family for everything | 所以我永远不会忘记一切 但我原谅我的家人 |
| 1037 | that they ever did that I didn't like or hurt me or whatever. | 他们做了我不喜欢或伤害我什么的。 |
| 1038 | There's so much more to the story, | 故事还有很多 |
| 1039 | obviously, of my childhood that I didn't share because that's not what this video is about. | 显然,我的童年,我没有分享 因为这不是这个视频的内容。 |
| 1040 | But I had a pretty good childhood in some ways, but in other ways, I had a pretty rough time. | 但我的童年在有些方面相当不错, 但在其他方面,我度过了相当艰难的时光。 |
| 1041 | Childhood was very hard for me. | 童年对我来说非常艰难。 |
| 1042 | I don't, for a second, wish I could be a kid again. | 我不,一秒钟, 希望我可以再次成为一个孩子。 |
| 1043 | You know | 你知道吗 |
| 1044 | how some adults wish that they could be a kid again? | 一些成年人希望他们能再次成为孩子? |
| 1045 | I don't wish that for a second. | 我并不想那样 |
| 1046 | The freedom | 自由 |
| 1047 | that I have as an adult, the peace that I have as an adult that I couldn't get as a child, | 作为成年人,我拥有的安宁 作为成年人,我无法得到 作为一个孩子, |
| 1048 | there are no words. | 没有字。 |
| 1049 | I felt like a prisoner as a child. | 我小时候感觉像个囚犯 |
| 1050 | I felt like I was forced to live with | 我觉得我被迫与 |
| 1051 | people and live in a certain way that I didn't want. | 以我所不希望的方式生活 |
| 1052 | I struggled a lot in my childhood and I | 我童年时经常挣扎 |
| 1053 | went through a lot and I needed those 10 years. | 经历了很多,我需要那10年。 |
| 1054 | I needed those four years in the Amazon to just | 我需要在亚马逊的四年时间 |
| 1055 | scream into the jungle and sleep in the jungle. | 尖叫进入丛林 睡在丛林里 |
| 1056 | So the years went by and at 26 years old, I went | 26岁时,我去了 |
| 1057 | back. | 回来 |
| 1058 | I did a big family visit and I gave everybody a fresh chance. | 我做了一个很大的探亲 我给了每个人一个新的机会。 |
| 1059 | Now I'm 28. | 现在我28岁了 |
| 1060 | I'm turning | 我要转身了 |
| 1061 | 28 this month. | 本月28号 |
| 1062 | I think I have a good relationship with everybody except William. | 我和除了威廉以外的人的关系很好 |
| 1063 | I'm not going to | 我不会 |
| 1064 | get into this too much, but all I can say is I tried. | 太多事了 但我只能说 我尽力了 |
| 1065 | I tried to give William another chance, | 我试图给威廉另一个机会, |
| 1066 | a clean slate like I gave everybody else. | 就像我给其他人一样 |
| 1067 | My stepdad, my stepmom, my aunt, my grandma. | 我的继父 我的继母 我姨妈 我奶奶 |
| 1068 | Hey, nice to meet you. | 嘿,很高兴见到你。 |
| 1069 | Let's start over. | 让我们重新开始。 |
| 1070 | I did. | 没错 |
| 1071 | I really tried, but I tried to talk to him | 我真的试过了,但是我想跟他谈谈 |
| 1072 | on the phone. | 在电话。 |
| 1073 | I even tried to hang out with him in person and I just couldn't do it. | 我甚至想亲自和他出去玩 但我做不到 |
| 1074 | I tried and I | 我试过,我 |
| 1075 | realized that as a kid, I felt forced. | 我小时候感觉很强迫 |
| 1076 | I felt pressured to hang out with this person, to talk | 我感到压力 和这个人在一起 聊天 |
| 1077 | to this person, whatever, to have this person in my life. | 这个人,不管怎样, 拥有这个人在我的生活中。 |
| 1078 | And I don't want to, as an adult, | 我不想,作为一个成年人, |
| 1079 | continue that pressure, continue to pressure myself or to let other people pressure me to | 继续施压 继续施压 或让别人施压 |
| 1080 | maintain a relationship with this person that I don't want in my life. | 和这个人保持一段我生活所不希望的关系 |
| 1081 | So I made the decision | 所以我决定了 |
| 1082 | to cut ties with William, not because he's not my father, but because of our relationship or | 不是因为他不是我父亲 而是因为我们的关系 |
| 1083 | lack thereof. | 没有。 |
| 1084 | He's just someone that I don't want to talk to. | 他只是一个我不想和他说话的人 |
| 1085 | I don't want to hang out with. | 我不想和他们在一起 |
| 1086 | He's not all bad. | 他不尽坏. |
| 1087 | Of course, there are good things about him. | 当然,他有好东西。 |
| 1088 | He's not a bad person, necessarily, | 他肯定不是一个坏人 |
| 1089 | but I evaluated all the evidence. | 但我评估了所有的证据 |
| 1090 | I thought about everything, everything that I've ever learned | 我想了一切,我学到的一切 |
| 1091 | about him, seen from him, witnessed and felt. | 关于他,从他那里看见的,是见证和感觉的。 |
| 1092 | And I decided that it's unfortunate. | 我决定这是不幸的。 |
| 1093 | It's unfortunate, | 很遗憾 |
| 1094 | but I need to do what's right for me. | 但我需要做对我做的 |
| 1095 | And it is a privilege to be in my life. | 我很荣幸能进入我的生活 |
| 1096 | And unfortunately for | 很遗憾 |
| 1097 | him, I don't want to give him that privilege. | 我不想给他这种特权 |
| 1098 | So yes, I don't believe this thing that, oh, | 所以,是的, 我不相信这个东西,哦, |
| 1099 | just because they are your parent or your blood family or whatever, just because they were part | 因为他们是你的父母 或你的血族 或什么的, 只是因为他们的一部分 |
| 1100 | of your childhood, you can't cut them off. | 在你的童年, 你不能切断他们。 |
| 1101 | You can't do, you know, I don't believe that. | 你不能这样做,你知道, 我不相信这一点。 |
| 1102 | I don't believe in that. | 不信此义. |
| 1103 | Yeah, that's not what I would teach my children. | 是啊,这不是我会 教我的孩子。 |
| 1104 | And if I have kids, | 如果我有孩子的话 |
| 1105 | I don't want him in their life anyways. | 反正我也不想他进入他们的生活 |
| 1106 | So I made that decision to cut ties with him, to not talk | 所以我决定和他断绝联系,不说话 |
| 1107 | anymore. | 现在。 |
| 1108 | And he probably thinks that a big reason is because he's not my biological father. | 他可能认为一个大原因 因为他不是我的亲生父亲 |
| 1109 | And | 还有 |
| 1110 | that's unfortunate that he probably thinks that because that's not true. | 这很不幸,他可能认为 因为那不是真的。 |
| 1111 | But if that makes him | 但是如果那样他 |
| 1112 | feel better, so he doesn't feel like it's because I don't like him as a person, because that's | 感觉好点了,所以他不觉得 喜欢是因为我不喜欢他作为一个人,因为 |
| 1113 | really what it's about. | 真实的它是什么。 |
| 1114 | I don't like him as a person and I don't want him in my life. | 我不喜欢他作为一个人,我不想他在我的生活中。 |
| 1115 | It's not | 这不是 |
| 1116 | about, you know, so yeah, it's not about being my biological. | 关于,你知道,所以是的, 这不是关于我的生物。 |
| 1117 | It's not about relation. | 这不是关系。 |
| 1118 | My stepdad | 我的继父 |
| 1119 | is not biologically related to me. | 跟我没有生理联系 |
| 1120 | And I, even though my stepdad and I haven't always had the | 而我,虽然我的继父和我 并不总是有 |
| 1121 | best relationship, I want that man to be a part of my life. | 最好的关系, 我希望他成为我生命的一部分。 |
| 1122 | And I will, yeah, I would never, | 我会,是的,我永远不会, |
| 1123 | I would never cut ties with him because I actually enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him. | 我绝对不会和他断绝联系 因为我真的喜欢和他交谈 和他在一起 |
| 1124 | I think he actually adds to my life instead of takes away. | 我认为他实际上增加了我的生活 而不是带走。 |
| 1125 | So it's not about, yeah, same thing | 所以,这不是关于,是的,同一件事 |
| 1126 | with my stepmom. | 我继母。 |
| 1127 | So it's not, it's not about blood, blood relation. | 所以这不是,它不是关于血,血的关系。 |
| 1128 | But anyways, so however | 但无论如何,所以 |
| 1129 | he's processing this is his business. | 他正在处理这是他的生意。 |
| 1130 | I don't know, but I obviously he's probably very upset | 我不知道,但我显然他可能很生气 |
| 1131 | about this. | 关于这个。 |
| 1132 | I sent him a message and that I am ending the relationship. | 我给他发了条信息 我要结束关系 |
| 1133 | And yeah, he he's | 对 他 |
| 1134 | probably very upset about it, emotional, angry, whatever. | 可能很生气,情绪,愤怒,随便什么。 |
| 1135 | And so probably out of desperation and | 可能是因为绝望 |
| 1136 | all this emotion and whatever, he ended up reaching out to my aunt, my, my mom's sister. | 他最后联系了我姑妈 我母亲的妹妹 |
| 1137 | And, you know, they don't talk, but he probably had her number and was like, let me text her. | 而且,你知道,他们不说话, 但他可能有她的电话号码 并喜欢,让我发短信给她。 |
| 1138 | So he texts her and he, he sends her the message that I sent him. | 所以他给她发了短信,然后,他给她发了我给他的信息。 |
| 1139 | And he says, like kind of playing | 他说,就像一种演奏 |
| 1140 | dumb, like, I don't, I don't know what this means. | 我不知道这是什么意思 |
| 1141 | Like, can you help me figure this out? | 你能帮我弄明白吗? |
| 1142 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1143 | my aunt is like, my, my aunt is very, she, yeah, she's just like, it is what it is. | 我姨妈喜欢,我姨妈非常, 她,是的,她只是喜欢,这是它是什么。 |
| 1144 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1145 | she's very logical by the book kind of person. | 她很合乎逻辑的书 那种人。 |
| 1146 | Like, yeah, she, she was just like, | 喜欢,是的,她只是喜欢, |
| 1147 | well, it looks, well, William, it looks pretty, pretty obvious what this is about. | 看起来 威廉 看起来很明显 |
| 1148 | She clearly does not want a relationship with you. | 她显然不想和你谈恋爱 |
| 1149 | So yeah, it's not rocket science. | 所以,这不是火箭科学。 |
| 1150 | And he's like, | 他喜欢, |
| 1151 | okay, yeah, yeah, I, that's what I thought. | 好吧,是啊,是啊,我,这就是我想的。 |
| 1152 | But I wasn't sure. | 但我还不确定 |
| 1153 | And yeah, I mean, I think my aunt, | 是的,我的意思是,我认为我的姨妈, |
| 1154 | my aunt, because she is a mother and she knows, you know, I think she has empathy for him too, | 我姨妈,因为她是母亲 她知道,你知道,我想她也同情他, |
| 1155 | you know, because obviously I empathize with any parent who, whose child does not want a | 你知道,因为很明显我同情 任何父母 谁,谁的孩子不想要一个 |
| 1156 | relationship with them because I know that that hurts. | 和他们的关系,因为我知道那伤害。 |
| 1157 | That probably hurts like crazy. | 这可能像疯狂。 |
| 1158 | But I think that the child is justified. | 但我认为这孩子是有道理的。 |
| 1159 | I think if a child, no matter what their age is, if they, | 我认为,如果一个孩子, 无论他们的年龄, 如果他们, |
| 1160 | well, when they're an adult, if they don't want a relationship with you, even a teenager, if they | 当他们成年了,如果他们不想和你建立关系, 即使是青少年,如果他们 |
| 1161 | don't want a relationship with you, I mean, even any age, even a child. | 不想和你谈恋爱,甚至任何年龄,甚至一个孩子 |
| 1162 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1163 | If no matter the age, | 如果不管年龄 |
| 1164 | if any child does not want a relationship with their parent, it's the parent's fault. | 如果任何孩子不想和他们的父母建立关系,那是父母的错。 |
| 1165 | It's never the child's fault. | 这不是孩子的错。 |
| 1166 | It's the parent's fault because why, why would they not want a | 这是父母的错 因为为什么,他们为什么不想要一个 |
| 1167 | relationship with you? | 和你的关系? |
| 1168 | You know, children want relationships with their parents. | 你知道,孩子想要 与父母的关系。 |
| 1169 | So to get to | 所以,为了得到 |
| 1170 | that point of deciding, nah, it's not worth it. | 这不值得 |
| 1171 | It takes a lot to get to that point. | 说到这一点需要很多时间。 |
| 1172 | So that's on | 所以这是在 |
| 1173 | the parent to spend some time reflecting on how they let it get to that point. | 父母会花一些时间思考 他们是如何让它达到这个地步的 |
| 1174 | It's usually not | 一般不会 |
| 1175 | one thing. | 还有一件事 |
| 1176 | It's usually many things accumulating. | 通常有很多东西在积累. |
| 1177 | So yeah. | 对啊 |
| 1178 | So my aunt probably empathizes with him, | 所以我姨妈可能对他很同情 |
| 1179 | but at the same time is like saying, you know, Lao is totally justified in her decision to, | 但与此同时,就像说,你知道, 老挝是完全有道理的 她的决定, |
| 1180 | to do that. | 这样做。 |
| 1181 | Sucks for you, William, but you know, she can make that decision. | 威廉,你很烂,但她可以做决定 |
| 1182 | And it's not like I made that decision. | 也不是我决定的 |
| 1183 | I gave him so much time, you know, I didn't make that | 我给了他这么多时间,你知道, 我没有做到这一点 |
| 1184 | decision when I was 18 and like just angry and you know, no, I, I waited until I was 27 years old. | 我18岁的时候决定了,就像生气,你知道, 不,我,我等了27岁。 |
| 1185 | I thought about this for a long time. | 我考虑过很久了 |
| 1186 | I gave him many chances and I, yeah, | 我给了他很多机会 我,是的, |
| 1187 | I spent a lot of time thinking about this decision. | 我花了很多时间来考虑这个决定. |
| 1188 | And so it wasn't a hasty decision. | 所以这不是一个仓促的决定。 |
| 1189 | It wasn't a decision made out of, you know, it wasn't a quick decision. | 这不是一个决定,你知道, 这不是一个快速的决定。 |
| 1190 | But so out of all of this | 但是,所有这一切 |
| 1191 | from all of this emotion, intense emotion and anger and frustration and whatever, or I don't | 从所有这些情感, 强烈的情感和愤怒, 挫折等等, 否则我不 |
| 1192 | know if that's the reason or I don't, I don't know, but for whatever reason, for whatever reason, | 如果这就是原因,或者我不这样做, 我不知道,但出于任何理由,出于任何理由, |
| 1193 | William told my aunt that he has two names of two potential fathers, two men that he knows that my | 威廉告诉我姑妈 他有两个名字 两个潜在的父亲,两个男人 他知道我 |
| 1194 | mom was hanging out with, spending time with during the time that I was conceived that could | 妈妈和他在一起, 和我在一起的时间 我被孕育的时候,可以 |
| 1195 | be my father. | 做我父亲吧 |
| 1196 | He told my aunt that he has been sitting on these names for years. | 他告诉我姑妈,他多年来一直坐着这些名字。 |
| 1197 | Basically, | 基本上说 |
| 1198 | since we found out he's not my father, he has known of these two names, these two people, | 自从我们发现他不是我的父亲, 他知道这两个名字,这两个人, |
| 1199 | and he never told me. | 他从来没有告诉我。 |
| 1200 | Over 10 years later, like 11, 12 years later, 11, 12 years have gone by | 十年之后,像11年,12年之后,11年,12年过去了 |
| 1201 | and he never told me, he knew, he knew that I wanted to know who my biological father was. | 他从来没有告诉我,他知道, 他知道我想知道谁是我的生父。 |
| 1202 | He knew that I wanted to know and he never revealed the names until, and maybe he, he would have | 他知道我想知道,他从未透露过名字 直到他,也许他,他会 |
| 1203 | never revealed them until I ended the relationship and then he told my aunt. | 直到我结束关系 他才告诉我姑妈 |
| 1204 | That's a good example of how problematic he is, selfish, egotistical, you know. | 这是一个很好的例子,证明他有多问题,自私,自私自利,你知道的。 |
| 1205 | I understand that | 我理解你的话 |
| 1206 | he wanted to be my father, he didn't want somebody else to be, but to hold, to guard that information, | 他想做我父亲,他不想让别人做,而是要守住这个消息, |
| 1207 | the ego, the selfishness, and that's the kind of person he is. | 自我,自私, 这就是他的那种人。 |
| 1208 | Like that's, there's many examples | 就像那样,有很多例子 |
| 1209 | of this, you know, him not listening to me, forcing me to, no, you need to live with me, | 你知道,他不听我的, 强迫我,不,你需要和我一起生活, |
| 1210 | it's all ego, it's all selfishness. | 都是自负,都是自私 |
| 1211 | Even his political views, even his, everything, you know, | 甚至他的政治观点 甚至他的一切 |
| 1212 | he posts on Facebook, all the propaganda he believes, all the media he believes, everything he, | 他在脸书上贴了 他相信的所有宣传 他相信的媒体 |
| 1213 | everything he thinks and does, I swear, is from having an inflated ego. | 我发誓,他所想和做的事 都是因为自负过度 |
| 1214 | That's all those people | 就是这些人 |
| 1215 | that think that we should be deporting immigrants and ego, giant ego. | 认为我们应该驱逐 移民和自我,巨大的自我。 |
| 1216 | Their life sucks. | 他们的生活很糟 |
| 1217 | They don't know why it sucks. | 他们不知道为什么它很烂。 |
| 1218 | They want, they feel powerless in their life. | 他们想要,他们觉得生活中无能为力。 |
| 1219 | They want to blame other | 他们想怪别人 |
| 1220 | people for their problems. | 人们为自己的问题。 |
| 1221 | They want to control other people and other people's lives. | 他们想控制别人和其他人的生活. |
| 1222 | It's all | 没事 |
| 1223 | ego. | 自我主义。 |
| 1224 | Look at who they elected. | 看看他们选谁 |
| 1225 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1226 | He is the king of ego. | 他是自负的国王。 |
| 1227 | The president of the United | 美国总统 |
| 1228 | States is the ego king. | 国家是自大之王。 |
| 1229 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1230 | So it's an inflated ego, not being able to check yourself, | 因此,这是一个膨胀的自我, 无法检查自己, |
| 1231 | not being able to see your place, not being able to see how you create your problems. | 无法看到你的位置, 无法看到你如何制造你的问题。 |
| 1232 | You are responsible for your problems, generally. | 一般来说,你对自己的问题负责。 |
| 1233 | And yeah, I mean, he probably blames me for not | 是的,我的意思是,他可能 怪我没有 |
| 1234 | wanting to have a relationship with him, but it's his fault, you know? | 想要和他建立关系, 但这是他的错,你知道吗? |
| 1235 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1236 | People not being able | 无法做到的人 |
| 1237 | to take accountability. | 负责。 |
| 1238 | This man, William, he has two, he is a felon because he has two domestic | 这个男人,威廉,他有两个,他是一个重罪 因为他有两个家庭 |
| 1239 | violence charges from his interactions with his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, someone, two. | 他与前妻或前女友的交往中的暴力指控,某人,两人. |
| 1240 | Now, | 现在, |
| 1241 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1242 | I don't know if this man ever laid a finger on someone. | 我不知道这个人有没有碰过别人 |
| 1243 | Maybe he did. | 也许他做到了。 |
| 1244 | Maybe he didn't. | 也许他没有 |
| 1245 | I never thought that William was physically abusive. | 我从来没想过威廉在虐待别人 |
| 1246 | I never thought that he would be | 我从未想过他会 |
| 1247 | charged with domestic violence. | 被控家庭暴力。 |
| 1248 | He never was toward me. | 他从来没有对我。 |
| 1249 | I never witnessed that. | 我从来没亲眼见过 |
| 1250 | I never heard | 我从来没听说过 |
| 1251 | that from my mom, from my stepmom, who were in a relationship with him for many years. | 从我妈妈, 从我的继母, 谁与他多年的关系。 |
| 1252 | So I never | 所以我从来没有 |
| 1253 | thought that he was that kind of person. | 以为他是那种人 |
| 1254 | I still don't think he's that kind of person. | 我还是觉得他不是那种人 |
| 1255 | But in order | 但按顺序 |
| 1256 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你必须得学会教训 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你必须学会 | |
| 1257 | the first time, go back and disrespect someone again. | 第一次,回去再不尊重别人 |
| 1258 | Even if you didn't touch them, you get the | 即使你没有碰他们,你得到 |
| 1259 | second one by having an inflated ego, thinking that you have the right to go bother someone, | 第二,因为有 膨胀的自负, 认为你有权利去打扰某人, |
| 1260 | even if you're just verbally, whatever, fighting with them, whatever. | 即使你只是口头上,什么的, 与他们战斗,什么的。 |
| 1261 | It's the ego. | 这是自负。 |
| 1262 | It's not | 这不是 |
| 1263 | understand, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, | 明,不卑,不卑,不卑,不卑. ...... |
| 1264 | by your first charge and thinking that you have the right to go bother a woman again. | 想到你有权再去骚扰一个女人 |
| 1265 | And yeah, he went to jail for a month for that. | 他为此入狱一个月 |
| 1266 | Probably should have been longer. | 也许应该更久些 |
| 1267 | And yeah, then he had this grand awakening and stopped drinking alcohol and | 对 然后他醒了 戒了酒 |
| 1268 | stopped being in relationships and seemed like his life was getting better and I'm happy for him. | 不再有关系了 似乎他的生活越来越好 我为他感到高兴 |
| 1269 | But I don't know, it's not enough. | 但我不知道,这还不够。 |
| 1270 | It's not enough to make him the type of person that I want to hang | 这不足以让他成为我想要绞死的人 |
| 1271 | out with. | 出来。 |
| 1272 | And yeah, that one day I hung out with him, it was bad. | 是啊,有一天我和他在一起,这是不好的。 |
| 1273 | Okay, anyways, so that's that. | 好吧,无论如何,所以这就是。 |
| 1274 | That's the story of, I don't know who my biological father is. | 故事是这样的 我不知道我的亲生父亲是谁 |
| 1275 | The names that he gave to my aunt, | 他给我姑妈的名字 |
| 1276 | I have the names, but now it's so late. | 我有名字,但现在太晚了。 |
| 1277 | It's so late that I don't care anymore. | 今已迟至不思议. |
| 1278 | I could try to | 我可以试着 |
| 1279 | contact to find these people. | 找到这些人 |
| 1280 | Now that I have the names, I know the states that they lived in. | 现在我有了名字 我知道他们住的州 |
| 1281 | I can't even be bothered. | 我甚至不会被打扰。 |
| 1282 | I don't even care anymore. | 我已经不在乎了 |
| 1283 | I'm not concerned. | 我不担心。 |
| 1284 | Maybe I'll do it | 也许我会做 |
| 1285 | someday. | 总有一天 |
| 1286 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1287 | I should probably do it sooner than later. | 我也许应该早点做 |
| 1288 | They might die if I wait too | 我等他们也会死 |
| 1289 | long. | 长。 |
| 1290 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1291 | But I don't know. | 却不知. |
| 1292 | At this point, I'm just like, why? | 此时此刻,我只是喜欢,为什么? |
| 1293 | So I can see a picture, | 这样我才能看到一张照片 |
| 1294 | so I can see what they look like. | 这样我就能看清他们的样子 |
| 1295 | Yeah, I'm curious. | 对,我很好奇 |
| 1296 | I still want to know, but I don't know | 我还是想知道,但我不知道 |
| 1297 | I want to put in the effort to try to find who these guys are. | 我想努力找到这些人 |
| 1298 | And then not only would I have | 我不仅会 |
| 1299 | to find them, we'd have to do a paternity test. | 为了找到他们,我们得做个亲子鉴定 |
| 1300 | And I don't even live in the United States. | 我甚至不 住在美国。 |
| 1301 | And | 还有 |
| 1302 | I don't want to do all that. | 我不想做这一切。 |
| 1303 | I don't want to do paternity tests again. | 我不想再做亲子鉴定了 |
| 1304 | I don't want to. | 我不想这样 |
| 1305 | It's like, | 这就像, |
| 1306 | I just don't care. | 我只是不关心。 |
| 1307 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 1308 | So I've just accepted that I don't know who my biological | 所以我刚刚接受了 我不知道我的生物 |
| 1309 | father is. | 父亲是。 |
| 1310 | And I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1311 | I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1312 | And I'm okay with that. | 我不介意这样 |
| 1313 | Because that's what I thought it was. | 因为这就是我想的 |
| 1314 | I already accepted that before he told me the names, | 我已经接受了 在他告诉我名字之前 |
| 1315 | told my aunt the names. | 告诉了我阿姨名字 |
| 1316 | So I kind of feel like an orphan because my mom died and I don't know who | 所以我有点像孤儿 因为我妈妈死了 我不知道是谁 |
| 1317 | my biological father is. | 我的亲生父亲是。 |
| 1318 | And I don't want to have a relationship with William. | 我不想和威廉发生关系 |
| 1319 | But that's my choice. | 但这是我的选择 |
| 1320 | And I have my stepmom, my stepdad, my aunt, my brother, my grandma. | 还有继母,继父,姨妈,弟弟,奶奶 |
| 1321 | And I'm happy with those | 我很高兴这些 |
| 1322 | family relationships that I have. | 我有过的家庭关系。 |
| 1323 | I'm happy with that. | 我很高兴。 |
| 1324 | I feel good with that. | 我觉得很好。 |
| 1325 | And yeah. | 对 |
| 1326 | So I just | 所以,我刚刚 |
| 1327 | wanted to share this story because I don't know. | 我想分享这个故事,因为我不知道。 |
| 1328 | I think it's an interesting story and you could | 我认为这是一个有趣的故事 你可以 |
| 1329 | probably learn a lot of English from it. | 可能从中学习了很多英语. |
| 1330 | And I've never really told the whole story from beginning | 我从来没有真正说 整个故事从一开始 |
| 1331 | to end like that with the latest updated details as well. | 以最新的细节结束。 |
| 1332 | Because I just got the names. | 因为我刚拿到名字 |
| 1333 | Like my | 就像我的一样 |
| 1334 | aunt just texted me like a month ago or something the names. | 阿姨刚发短信给我 就像一个月前什么的 名字。 |
| 1335 | So this is new. | 所以这是新的。 |
| 1336 | This is some news. | 这是新闻 |
| 1337 | So yeah, I've never told the whole story like this from beginning to end all in one go. | 所以,是的,我从来没有讲 整个故事像这样 从开始到结束 在一个去。 |
| 1338 | So I | 所以说 |
| 1339 | kind of wanted to do it. | 那种想做到这一点。 |
| 1340 | And yeah, it feels good. | 是的,感觉很好 |
| 1341 | And yeah, hopefully it wasn't too boring or slow. | 是的,希望它不是太无聊或慢。 |
| 1342 | But it was real. | 但这是真的 |
| 1343 | And that's the point of these kinds of videos. | 这就是这些视频的要点。 |
| 1344 | And if you don't like these kinds | 如果你不喜欢这些种类 |
| 1345 | of videos, well, I think if you've made it to the end, you probably like this kind of video. | 视频,嗯,我想如果你已经做到了它 结尾,你可能喜欢这种视频。 |
| 1346 | But if | 不过如果 |
| 1347 | I probably should have said this at the beginning, but if you don't like it, I will make other | 我本该在开头说这个的 但如果你不喜欢 我会做别的 |
| 1348 | videos like more English teaching style also. | 更多英语教学风格的视频。 |
| 1349 | But I wanted to make some kind of podcast style | 但我想制作一种播客风格 |
| 1350 | videos. | 视频。 |
| 1351 | And a lot of people seem to like it. | 很多人似乎都很喜欢 |
| 1352 | So once again, all of you who are telling me that | 再说一遍,你们都告诉我 |
| 1353 | you really appreciate and enjoy this format, this kind of video, and you like the stories, | 你真的很欣赏和欣赏这种格式, 这种视频, 你喜欢的故事, |
| 1354 | the story time in English, I am happy to provide. | 用英语讲故事的时间,我很乐意提供。 |
| 1355 | And once again, I'm sorry about the noise. | 再说一遍,我对噪音感到抱歉 |
| 1356 | If you hear noises, I'm sure you do because yeah, main road in Lima and people are a lot, | 如果你听到声音,我相信你这样做,因为 是的,利马的主要道路和人们是很多, |
| 1357 | people are honking like crazy. | 人们的鸣叫像疯了。 |
| 1358 | So much honking backing up big trucks. | 这么多的喇叭备份 大卡车。 |
| 1359 | I don't know why it's so | 我不知道为什么 |
| 1360 | loud right here, but it is. | 这里声音很大,但确实如此。 |
| 1361 | And the windows, it's the noise is coming from behind is because | 窗户,是来自后面的噪音,因为 |
| 1362 | over there is like a kitchen and there's there's windows that are like really thin and they don't | 那边就像厨房 那里有窗子,好像很薄 |
| 1363 | really fully shut like well. | 完全关闭,就像很好。 |
| 1364 | There's like and they're just they're too thin. | 好像他们太瘦了 |
| 1365 | And yeah, there's | 是的,这是 |
| 1366 | just there's a there's a main road over there. | 那边有条主干道 |
| 1367 | Can you hear that? | 你能听到吗? |
| 1368 | It's like so much honking. | 这就像这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1369 | I'm like now it's probably starting to get into rush hour, but yeah, so much honking. | 就像现在它可能 开始进入高峰时间, 但是是的,这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1370 | OK, anyways, thank you for watching. | 好吧,无论如何,谢谢你的观看。 |
| 1371 | Thank you for listening. | 谢谢你的聆听 |
| 1372 | I appreciate you so much. | 非常感谢你 |
| 1373 | And | 还有 |
| 1374 | yeah, overall, I'm happy with my life. | 是啊,总的来说,我很高兴我的生活。 |
| 1375 | And despite, you know, everything that happened | 虽然,你知道, 发生的一切 |
| 1376 | and everything that that I told you, I'm doing I'm doing well. | 和所有我告诉你, 我做得很好。 |
| 1377 | You know, it's been like 14 years | 你知道,这就像14年 |
| 1378 | almost since my mom died. | 几乎从我妈妈死后 |
| 1379 | I don't regret cutting ties with William. | 我不后悔和威廉断绝关系 |
| 1380 | Like I said, | 就像我说的, |
| 1381 | I have a great relationship with the with other family members. | 我和其他家庭成员的关系很好 |
| 1382 | Overall, I'm doing good. | 总的来说,我做得很好。 |
| 1383 | I'm happy, | 我很高兴 |
| 1384 | happy with my life and myself. | 与我的生活和我自己快乐。 |
| 1385 | And yeah, and I hope you are to wherever you are. | 是的,我希望你能去任何地方。 |
| 1386 | And if you're not, | 如果你没有 |
| 1387 | that's OK, too. | 也没关系 |
| 1388 | You don't have to be happy with it. | 不须欢喜. |
| 1389 | We learn a lot from the struggles that we go | 我们从斗争中学到很多东西 |
| 1390 | through. | 通过。 |
| 1391 | And I hope that I inspired someone to I hope to inspire people to to set boundaries. | 我希望我激励别人,希望我激励人们 划定界限。 |
| 1392 | You know, I notice a lot of people struggle to set boundaries. | 我注意到很多人都在挣扎着去划定界限 |
| 1393 | I think I'm very good at that. | 我觉得我很擅长这个 |
| 1394 | I think a lot of people have a hard time setting boundaries with family members. | 我认为很多人很难与家人建立界限。 |
| 1395 | I am the type of person who always sets boundaries. | 我是那种总能划定界限的人 |
| 1396 | You know, my family knows they have | 你知道,我的家人知道他们有 |
| 1397 | to treat me with a certain level of respect now that I'm an adult. | 以某种程度的尊敬对待我 现在我是成年人了。 |
| 1398 | And yeah, I won't even | 是啊,我甚至不会 |
| 1399 | even before I was an adult, I wouldn't tolerate it. | 甚至在我成年之前 我也不会容忍 |
| 1400 | You know, I used to say, OK, well, then I | 你知道,我曾经说, 好吧,好吧,然后我 |
| 1401 | don't like you and I'm not going to talk to you. | 我不喜欢你,我不会跟你说话。 |
| 1402 | I've always been that way because, yeah, I just | 我总是这样,因为,是的,我只是 |
| 1403 | we are people. | 我们是人。 |
| 1404 | It doesn't matter that we are younger than you. | 我们比你年轻不重要 |
| 1405 | We are people. | 我们是人。 |
| 1406 | We | 我们 |
| 1407 | deserve to be respected. | 应受到尊重。 |
| 1408 | And yeah, don't settle. | 是的,不要解决。 |
| 1409 | Don't settle for bad treatment. | 别因治疗不当而安顿. |
| 1410 | It is a privilege to be in your life. | 我很荣幸能进入你的生活 |
| 1411 | It is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 1412 | It's not a right. | 谓非权. |
| 1413 | Remember that. | 记住这一点。 |
| 1414 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 1415 | Take care. | 小心点 |
| 1416 | I'll see you in the next one. | 后一见. |
| 1417 | Have a nice day. | 祝你们愉快 |
| 1418 | Bye bye. | 再见 |
该视频共有字幕 1422 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 p02 英文字幕 (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 0:07 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 0:08 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 0:14 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 0:17 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 0:18 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud, | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 而且声音很大 |
| 0:22 | so I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 0:24 | This month, we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月,我们只需要应付噪音. |
| 0:27 | You guys say that | 你们都这么说 |
| 0:28 | you don't really hear a lot of the noise. | 你没有听到太多的噪音。 |
展开字幕全文（1418 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 2 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 3 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 4 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 5 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 6 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud, | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 而且声音很大 |
| 7 | so I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 8 | This month, we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月,我们只需要应付噪音. |
| 9 | You guys say that | 你们都这么说 |
| 10 | you don't really hear a lot of the noise. | 你没有听到太多的噪音。 |
| 11 | That's great. | 赞曰. |
| 12 | I try to minimize it in the audio editing, | 我试图在音频编辑中尽量减少它, |
| 13 | but because this place is so loud, it's even louder than the last place in Medellin, I think | 但是由于这个地方如此响亮, 它甚至比麦德林最后的地方,我认为 |
| 14 | that you will hear some of the noises. | 你将听到一些声音。 |
| 15 | I'm sorry about that, but that's just the reality of living | 我很抱歉,但这只是生活的现实 |
| 16 | in a city and living in a place. | 住在一个城市和一个地方。 |
| 17 | Before I booked an apartment, I don't know how loud it's going to be, | 在订公寓之前 我不知道会有多大声 |
| 18 | I thought this place would be quieter, but yeah, that's just life. | 我以为这个地方会比较安静, 但是啊,这只是生活。 |
| 19 | I think it helps if you don't | 你不这样会有帮助的 |
| 20 | use headphones. | 使用耳机。 |
| 21 | If you want to use headphones, that's fine, but if you don't use headphones, | 如果你想用耳机,那很好, 但如果你不使用耳机, |
| 22 | I think you don't hear as much of the background noise, but I don't know. | 我想你没有听到太多的背景噪音, 但我不知道。 |
| 23 | I like using headphones | 我喜欢用耳机 |
| 24 | when I listen to stuff, so yeah, you do what you want. | 当我听东西,所以是的, 你做你想做的。 |
| 25 | But anyways, if you're new to my new style | 不过,如果你是我新风格的新人 |
| 26 | of making videos, if you didn't watch the last episode where I talked about my four years in the | 如果你没有看上一集 我谈论我的四年 |
| 27 | Amazon, in Ecuador, living in the Amazon. | 亚马逊,厄瓜多尔人,生活在亚马逊. |
| 28 | By the way, thank you to everybody who commented on that | 顺便说一句,谢谢大家评论 |
| 29 | video, who said they love it. | 视频,谁说他们喜欢它。 |
| 30 | They want more videos like this, long style, long format stories | 他们想要更多这样的视频, 长风格,长格式的故事 |
| 31 | from my life. | 从我的生活。 |
| 32 | That really encourages me and I'm really happy about that. | 这真的鼓励我 我真的很高兴。 |
| 33 | So thank you so much for | 所以,谢谢你这么多 |
| 34 | support. | 支助。 |
| 35 | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| 36 | Yeah, so if you didn't watch that food video, basically my new style is | 是啊,所以如果你没有看 食物视频,基本上我的新风格是 |
| 37 | just recording myself talking for a while. | 刚刚录制我自己说话一段时间。 |
| 38 | Some videos are going to be like just podcasts, just | 有些视频会像播客一样 |
| 39 | like this, just talking from my mind. | 像这样,只是从我的脑海里说话。 |
| 40 | Some are going to be more like typical English teaching | 有些人会更像典型的英语教学 |
| 41 | videos that I do, but the difference is that I'm not going to be editing because I always | 视频是我做的,但区别是 我不会去编辑 因为我总是 |
| 42 | film myself for a long time and then I edit it and I get rid of everything to make it like super | 拍了很长一段时间,然后我剪辑它, 我摆脱了一切 使它像超级 |
| 43 | fast and jumpy and to hold your attention. | 动作快 动作快 注意点 |
| 44 | And then I end up wasting a lot of my time and energy | 之后我浪费了很多时间和精力 |
| 45 | doing that. | 这样做。 |
| 46 | And then you guys get even less material, less content to improve your English. | 然后,你们得到更少的材料, 更少的内容来改进你的英语。 |
| 47 | So I think it's good for you to be exposed to real English without all the cuts, the artificial | 因此,我认为这是很好的 你接触真正的英语 没有所有的切,人工 |
| 48 | cuts. | 切开。 |
| 49 | I think it's good for you to hear every time I say um, and every time I say um, but yeah, | 我觉得每次我说嗯,每次我说嗯, 对你有好处,但是是的, |
| 50 | so because you know, I do that a lot, but that's real life. | 所以,因为你知道,我这样做很多, 但这是真实的生活。 |
| 51 | That's real speaking. | 这是真的说话。 |
| 52 | It's important | 这很重要 |
| 53 | to hear the real breathing, the real speed, the real rhythm, everything, because that's real life. | 听到真正的呼吸,真正的速度,真正的节奏,一切, 因为这是真实的生活。 |
| 54 | If you really want to learn a language, that's what it is. | 如果你真的想学习一种语言,那就是它。 |
| 55 | And if you don't like it or whatever, | 如果你不喜欢它什么的, |
| 56 | if you want to change anything, you can always increase, you can increase or you can decrease | 如果你想改变任何事情, 你总是可以增加, 你可以增加或者可以减少 |
| 57 | YouTube上的视频速度。 | |
| 58 | You can always do that and you can always also turn on the | 你永远可以做到这一点, 你永远可以打开 |
| 59 | captions. | 标题。 |
| 60 | So if you want to know what I'm saying and you don't, you don't know based off listening | 所以,如果你想知道我在说什么 而你不知道,你不知道基于 倾听 |
| 61 | to what I said and you want to see the words, you can turn on the captions and yeah, you can use those | 对我说的,你想看字, 你可以打开标题,是的,你可以使用这些 |
| 62 | resources for studying English, for learning English. | 学习英语、学习英语的资源。 |
| 63 | Whatever I don't say that you're like, | 无论我说什么,你喜欢, |
| 64 | no sorry, whatever I say and you're like, what was that? | 不,对不起,无论我说什么,你喜欢什么? |
| 65 | What did she say? | 她说什么? |
| 66 | You could just turn | 你可以转身 |
| 67 | the captions go back and you'll see what it is. | 标题放回去,你会看到是什么。 |
| 68 | Hopefully, unless the captions are not very | 希望,除非标题不太 |
| 69 | accurate, but I think they are most of the time. | 准确的,但我想他们大部分时间。 |
| 70 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 71 | So today I have another very personal | 所以今天我还有另一个非常私人的 |
| 72 | story for you from my life. | 从我生命中给你的故事。 |
| 73 | So basically I'm going to be talking about why my biological father | 所以,基本上,我要谈论 为什么我的生父 |
| 74 | is unknown. | 不详。 |
| 75 | So to tell you the story, I need to start back at the beginning. | 所以,告诉你的故事, 我需要从头开始。 |
| 76 | By the way, | 对了 |
| 77 | I consider myself to be an open book. | 我认为自己是一本公开的书。 |
| 78 | So I don't have an issue with sharing a lot of personal | 所以,我没有问题 分享很多个人 |
| 79 | things about myself. | 关于我自己的事 |
| 80 | Obviously, I don't share every single personal detail. | 显然,我不分享每一个个人细节。 |
| 81 | I pick and choose | 我选择 |
| 82 | which things I'm willing to share, but generally for the most part, I am fine with sharing a lot | 我愿意分享的东西, 但总的来说,我同意分享很多 |
| 83 | about myself in my life. | 关于我的生活。 |
| 84 | I think that the art or the practice of storytelling is a beautiful ancient | 我认为讲故事的艺术或实践 是一个美丽的古老 |
| 85 | part of human culture, humanity. | 人类文化 人类的一部分 |
| 86 | And so I love it. | 所以我喜欢它。 |
| 87 | I think it's great for us to share information | 我觉得我们分享情报是件好事 |
| 88 | and share stories from our lives and we can teach each other things, inspire each other. | 分享我们生活中的故事 我们可以互相教导 互相启发 |
| 89 | We can | 我们可以 |
| 90 | just relate to each other, learn about each other and see things through different eyes. | 互相交流 互相学习 透过不同的眼睛看事物 |
| 91 | And yeah, I just think that it's a really awesome part of being a human. | 是的,我只是认为这是 一个真正真棒的一部分 作为一个人类。 |
| 92 | And we're already so | 而且我们已经如此 |
| 93 | disconnected. | 已断开 。 |
| 94 | I think that we're so disconnected. | 我觉得我们很脱节 |
| 95 | We're living so independent. | 我们活得如此独立 |
| 96 | If you go long | 如果你走长 |
| 97 | enough back, far enough back, we lived in situations where everybody knew everything about | 足够回,足够回, 我们生活的情况,每个人都知道 |
| 98 | everyone. | 每个人。 |
| 99 | We lived in tribes and stuff like that. | 我们住在部落之类的地方 |
| 100 | There was no privacy or even just really small | 没有隐私甚至很小 |
| 101 | close-knit communities. | 近亲社区. |
| 102 | So now a lot of you watching will never even meet me in real life. | 所以,现在你们很多人看 甚至永远不会见到我在现实生活中。 |
| 103 | I'll never even meet you. | 我甚至永远不会见到你。 |
| 104 | So we live so disconnected. | 所以,我们的生活是如此的脱节。 |
| 105 | It's strange. | '然怪异. |
| 106 | But yeah, I have so much personal | 但是,是的,我有这么多个人 |
| 107 | space and privacy and whatnot that I really don't see any issue with sharing stories about myself | 空间和隐私,什么 我并不认为任何问题 分享关于我自己的故事 |
| 108 | on the internet. | 在互联网上。 |
| 109 | And I think it's a beautiful thing. | 我觉得这是件好事 |
| 110 | I think we have to make effort to connect | 我想我们必须努力联系 |
| 111 | with each other because otherwise we're losing that kind of community thing. | 彼此之间,因为否则,我们就要失去那种社区。 |
| 112 | Anyways, that's | 总之,这是 |
| 113 | another tangent I could get on, but back to the point. | 我还可以继续 但回到重点 |
| 114 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 115 | So let's start at the beginning with | 所以让我们从头开始 |
| 116 | my story. | 我的故事。 |
| 117 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 118 | So where does it begin? | 从哪里开始的? |
| 119 | It begins at my conception, but you know what? | 从我怀孕开始,但你知道吗? |
| 120 | It goes back | 它会回到过去 |
| 121 | even further than that because it starts with my mother, my mother. | 更进一步,因为它开始 我的母亲,我的母亲。 |
| 122 | Her name was Rachel. | 她的名字是瑞秋。 她的名字是瑞秋。 |
| 123 | I say was | 我说是 |
| 124 | because she died when I was 14. | 因为我十四岁的时候她就死了 |
| 125 | She passed away. | 她过世了 |
| 126 | I like to just say she died. | 我想说她死了 |
| 127 | She died when I was | 我那时她死了 |
| 128 | 14. | 14个 |
| 129 | I was a freshman in high school, my first year of high school, and she died from cancer, | 我是高中新生 我高中第一年 她死于癌症 |
| 130 | but really it was from like the cancer plus the cancer treatment plus, yeah, it's like where does | 但实际上,它是从像癌症 加上癌症治疗, |
| 131 | the cancer and the cancer treatment line cross? | 癌症和癌症治疗线交叉? |
| 132 | Because cancer treatment also is toxic. | 因为癌症治疗也有毒. |
| 133 | So it's | 所以这是 |
| 134 | so yeah, anyway, she died of cancer. | 所以,无论如何,她死于癌症。 |
| 135 | But we need to go back to my mom's childhood. | 但我们需要回到我妈妈的童年 |
| 136 | My mom had a | 我妈妈有一个 |
| 137 | difficult childhood. | 难熬的童年 |
| 138 | She had a pretty horrible father for various reasons. | 她有一个相当可怕的父亲 出于各种原因。 |
| 139 | And my mom had breast | 我妈妈有乳房 |
| 140 | cancer. | 癌症。 癌症。 |
| 141 | No, sorry. | 不,对不起。 |
| 142 | I'm getting ahead of myself. | 我渐渐超前. |
| 143 | My mom had ovarian cancer when she was 12. | 我妈妈12岁时得了卵巢癌 |
| 144 | When | 何时 |
| 145 | my mom was 12 years old, she had ovarian cancer. | 我妈妈12岁 她得了卵巢癌 |
| 146 | So cancer in the ovaries. | 卵巢中的癌症。 |
| 147 | If you're a woman, | 如果你是个女人 |
| 148 | have ovaries. | 还有卵巢 |
| 149 | You have two, two ovaries. | 你有两个卵巢 |
| 150 | My mom had ovarian cancer. | 我妈妈得了卵巢癌 |
| 151 | She had one of her | 她有一个 |
| 152 | ovaries removed and she went through chemotherapy, chemo, we call it. | 卵巢被切除 然后她接受了化疗 化疗 我们称之为化疗 |
| 153 | And she basically got better. | 她基本上变好了。 |
| 154 | She went into remission. | 她恢复了记忆 |
| 155 | She was fine. | 她没事 |
| 156 | She didn't have cancer anymore. | 她没有癌症了。 |
| 157 | So she was like | 所以她喜欢 |
| 158 | cured of that. | 已经痊愈了 |
| 159 | So she lost one of her ovaries during that experience, which was very hard for | 因此她失去了她的卵巢 在那次经历中,这是非常困难的 |
| 160 | | |
| 161 | She used to tell me about how hard it was. | 她经常告诉我这有多难 |
| 162 | She'd be in the hospital. | 她会去医院的 |
| 163 | She would be throwing | 她会扔 |
| 164 | up because of the chemotherapy. | 因为化疗 |
| 165 | She hated having to wear, she used to wear wigs to school and felt | 她讨厌穿,她曾经穿假发上学,觉得 |
| 166 | embarrassed about that and uncomfortable. | 尴尬和不舒服。 |
| 167 | She said it was so uncomfortable to wear a wig and | 她说戴假发太不舒服了 |
| 168 | she would get home from school and throw it off, like take it off and throw it. | 她会从学校回家 扔下来, 像脱下来扔出去。 |
| 169 | Um, so yeah, so my, my mom dealt with that when she was 12 and she lost one of her ovaries and the | 嗯,所以是的,所以我,我妈妈处理 当她12岁 她失去了一个她的卵巢和 |
| 170 | doctor told her that she might not be able to get pregnant or she would have a decreased chance of | 医生告诉她,她可能不能怀孕,或者,她将减少 |
| 171 | getting pregnant. | 怀孕时 |
| 172 | So my mom took that very seriously. | 所以我妈很认真对待这个 |
| 173 | She believed it. | 她相信这一点。 |
| 174 | I mean, she said, | 我的意思是,她说, |
| 175 | oh wow, so I have a low chance of getting pregnant. | 哦,哇,所以我有一个 低的机会怀孕。 |
| 176 | And so I think as an adult, she wasn't so, | 所以我想作为一个成年人,她不是, |
| 177 | my mom in general, wasn't a super, super responsible person compared to like me. | 我妈妈总的来讲 和我相比 不是一个超级的 超级负责任的人 |
| 178 | For example, I think I'm very responsible. | 比如说,我觉得我有责任 |
| 179 | My mom wasn't the most responsible person in general | 我妈不是最负责任的人 |
| 180 | compared to me, but I think she was extra irresponsible as an adult because she thought | 和我相比 我觉得她作为一个成年人 特别不负责任 因为她认为 |
| 181 | that she probably couldn't get pregnant. | 她可能不会怀孕。 |
| 182 | And so I think she didn't really try to use like birth | 所以我觉得她并没有像出生那样尝试使用 |
| 183 | control, for example. | 例如,控制。 |
| 184 | So my mom got pregnant with me and it was a miracle for her. | 我妈妈怀了我,这对她来说是个奇迹 |
| 185 | She was very | 她非常喜欢 |
| 186 | happy because she wanted to have kids, but she, she wasn't trying. | 因为她想生孩子而高兴,但她没有尝试。 |
| 187 | Uh, it was still like an | 嗯,它仍然像一个 |
| 188 | accident. | 意外 意外发生 |
| 189 | I was an accident, but like a happy accident because she didn't think that she could | 我是一个意外,但就像一个快乐的事故 因为她不认为她可以 |
| 190 | get pregnant. | 怀孕了。 怀孕吗? |
| 191 | And she was 27 and she felt like she was ready, even though her life was kind of a mess, | 她27岁,她觉得自己准备好了 尽管她的生活有点乱 |
| 192 | but she had a job, um, and she was a teacher and she felt like she was ready and she wanted | 但她有份工作,嗯,她是个老师 她觉得自己准备好了,她想 |
| 193 | to have a child. | 生个孩子 |
| 194 | So she was happy about the surprise pregnancy and she learned that she | 所以她对意外怀孕感到高兴 她得知她 |
| 195 | can get pregnant. | 可能怀孕了。 。 。 |
| 196 | So when my mom was at this age, uh, before she realized she was pregnant, | 所以当我妈妈在这个年龄, 呃,在她意识到她怀孕之前, |
| 197 | she was going through a hard time. | 她经历了一个艰难的时期。 |
| 198 | Uh, my mom had a lot of personal issues her whole life. | 呃,我妈妈有很多个人问题 她的整个生活。 |
| 199 | | |
| 200 | a lot of it is from the childhood, but, um, yeah, it's complicated, but my mom overall had a lot of, | 很多都是从童年时期开始的, 但是,嗯,是的,它很复杂, 但我妈妈总体上有很多, |
| 201 | a lot of personal issues, emotional issues. | 很多个人问题 情感问题 |
| 202 | Um, and so she was going through a time in her life | 嗯,所以她经历了一个时间 在她的生活 |
| 203 | when she was around 27 where she was, I think my mom did have a problem with alcohol and I think | 她27岁左右的时候,我想我妈妈确实有酗酒的问题,我想 |
| 204 | she was partying a lot. | 她经常开派对 |
| 205 | I think she was, um, she was kind of, she had this on and off relationship | 我觉得她,嗯,她是有点, 她有这种 开和关的关系 |
| 206 | with this one guy who she was not compatible with at all, but was kind of obsessed with him, | 和一个她完全不相容的人在一起 但有点迷恋他 |
| 207 | like kind of was attached to him, but they would fight all the time. | 和他一样 但他们会一直战斗 |
| 208 | And so they had this on and | 所以他们有这个, |
| 209 | off again relationship, we call it. | 解除关系,我们称之为。 |
| 210 | So sometimes they're together. | 所以有时他们在一起。 |
| 211 | Sometimes they're not on and | 有时候,他们不在和 |
| 212 | off again. | 再次关闭。 |
| 213 | My grandma always says they were like oil and water. | 我奶奶总是说它们就像油和水 |
| 214 | They didn't mix. | 他们没有混合。 |
| 215 | Um, so, but yeah, | 嗯,所以,但没错, |
| 216 | had this kind of, kind of obsession with this, this guy, but she was, so when they were not | 有这种,那种迷恋 这个家伙, 但她是,所以当他们不是 |
| 217 | together, she was like partying and, uh, meeting other people, hanging out with other people. | 在一起,她就像聚会 和,呃,遇见其他人, 挂出其他人。 |
| 218 | And, | 还有, |
| 219 | and so during this time she got pregnant with me and she didn't know who the father was. | 所以在这段时间里 她怀上了我 她不知道父亲是谁 |
| 220 | | |
| 221 | wasn't sure who the father was. | 不知道父亲是谁 |
| 222 | So instead of doing the responsible mature thing, which is | 而不是做负责任的 成熟的事情,这就是 |
| 223 | what I think I would do is say, okay, honestly, I don't know who the father is. | 我想我会做的是说,好吧,说实话, 我不知道谁是父亲。 |
| 224 | So let's wait | 所以,让我们等待 |
| 225 | until the child is born. | 直到孩子出生为止 |
| 226 | Let's take paternity tests. | 我们做亲子鉴定吧 |
| 227 | Let's figure it out before we make any | 我们先想清楚再说 |
| 228 | assumptions. | 假设。 |
| 229 | But my mom, I think that she thought I was the child of a particular guy who was, | 但我妈妈,我想她认为我是一个孩子 一个特殊的家伙,谁是, |
| 230 | he was only in my state temporarily. | 他只是暂时在我的状态。 |
| 231 | He was like on vacation, but he was going to leave. | 他就像在度假, 但他要离开。 |
| 232 | So my mom thought that that wouldn't be a good father for me because he's, | 我妈妈觉得那对我来说不是一个好父亲 因为他... |
| 233 | he doesn't live there. | 他不住这 |
| 234 | He's going to leave soon and he lives far away and they didn't have a | 他马上就要离开了 他住在很远的地方 他们没有 |
| 235 | relationship. | 关系。 |
| 236 | Um, so she made the decision to tell the man that did live there, the man that she's, | 嗯,所以她做了决定 告诉那个住在那里的男人, 那个男人,她是, |
| 237 | she was obsessed with, that he is the father. | 她沉迷于他的父亲 |
| 238 | So she told this man, let's give him a name. | 所以她告诉了这个人 让我们给他一个名字 |
| 239 | It's | 这是 |
| 240 | not his real name because I want to change the names here, but, um, just, just so that we | 不是他的真名,因为我想在这里更改名字, 但是,嗯,只是,让我们 |
| 241 | understand the story, um, let's, okay, let's give some names here. | 了解这个故事,嗯,让我们, 好吧,让我们在这里给出一些名字。 |
| 242 | Um, I didn't even think about | 嗯,我甚至没有想到 |
| 243 | this. | 这个 |
| 244 | Um, whatever we can call my mom. | 嗯,无论我们可以叫我妈。 |
| 245 | Her real name is Rachel. | 她的真名是瑞秋(Rachel). |
| 246 | I, we can say that. | 我,我们可以这么说。 |
| 247 | Let's say my | 这么说吧 |
| 248 | mom, my mom's name is Rachel. | 我妈妈叫瑞秋 |
| 249 | I want to use her real name, but we'll give a fake name to the other | 我想用她的真名 但我们会给另一个假名 |
| 250 | people. | 人们 |
| 251 | So, um, yeah. | 所以,嗯,对了。 |
| 252 | So let's say Vincent, Vincent is the guy who lived somewhere else that was | 所以说文森特 文森特是那个住在别的地方的人 |
| 253 | leaving. | 离开 |
| 254 | And let's say that, um, William, let's say William, I'm just thinking of random names. | 让我们假设,嗯,威廉, 让我们假设威廉,我只是在想 随机的名字。 |
| 255 | William is the guy who she was obsessed with and who was living there. | 威廉是她迷恋的那个人 住在那 |
| 256 | So she told, she, | 所以她告诉,她, |
| 257 | she thought that Vincent was the child, but she was the father, sorry. | 她以为文森特是孩子 但她是父亲,对不起 |
| 258 | But she told William that | 但她告诉威廉 |
| 259 | he was the father and William was like, cause they remember, they had an on and off again | 他是父亲,威廉说,因为他们记得, 他们有一次和一次 |
| 260 | relationship, William and her. | 威廉和她的关系 |
| 261 | So he was like, I don't know if I'm the father. | 所以他说 我不知道我是不是父亲 |
| 262 | Like the dates | 像日期一样 |
| 263 | don't really seem to add up. | 似乎没什么好说的 |
| 264 | Like I don't, I don't see, I don't think so. | 譬如不见,不见,不觉. |
| 265 | But my mom and my grandma | 但我妈妈和奶奶 |
| 266 | were like, how dare you question how, like, they denied it. | 你竟敢质疑他们如何否认 |
| 267 | They said, of course, of course | 他们说,当然,当然 |
| 268 | you're the father. | 你是父亲。 |
| 269 | How dare you say that? | 你怎么敢这么说? |
| 270 | Don't say that. | 别这么说 |
| 271 | And William, now William should have | 威廉,现在威廉应该 |
| 272 | said, look, I'm not saying that I'm not, but let's just get a test done. | 说,你看,我不是说我不是, 但让我们只是做一个测试。 |
| 273 | But William said, | 但威廉说, |
| 274 | okay. | 还好。 |
| 275 | And he just accepted it. | 他刚刚接受了 |
| 276 | And he didn't push it any further. | 他没有再推了 |
| 277 | He said, all right, | 他说,好吧, |
| 278 | I'm the father. | 我是父亲。 |
| 279 | And then I was born. | 后生 I. |
| 280 | And then I think William started to feel that feeling that | 然后我觉得威廉开始感觉到 |
| 281 | a father feels when they see their children being born. | 当他们看到孩子出生时 父亲会觉得 |
| 282 | And as a baby, they, they feel | 作为一个孩子,他们感到 |
| 283 | this connection, this excitement, not as much as a mother often. | 这种连接,这种兴奋, 不像一个母亲经常。 |
| 284 | I think my mom felt it a lot | 我觉得我妈妈觉得它很多 |
| 285 | stronger, but I think that William felt this, this kind of desire to be my father. | 但我觉得威廉有这种感觉 想要成为我父亲 |
| 286 | So he didn't bring | 所以他没带 |
| 287 | it up again. | 再来一次 |
| 288 | He said, yes, I am her father. | 他说,是的,我是她父亲 |
| 289 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 290 | And I don't know, maybe it was meant to be that | 我不知道,也许这是注定的 |
| 291 | way. | 就是这样 |
| 292 | Maybe he was just, he wanted to be a dad. | 也许他只是, 他想成为一个父亲。 |
| 293 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 294 | So that's, that's the | 所以,这就是 |
| 295 | way it was. | 就是这样 |
| 296 | Now, William and my mom, they did not stay together, of course. | 现在,威廉和我妈妈, 他们没有在一起,当然。 |
| 297 | So they were quickly | 所以他们很快 |
| 298 | separated for good and they started to date other people. | 然后他们开始和别人约会 |
| 299 | And so my mom started to get with this, | 所以我妈妈开始接受这个 |
| 300 | this new guy, my stepdad, they, they ended up getting married and, and whatever. | 这个新人,我的继父, 他们,他们最后结婚了,等等。 |
| 301 | And | 还有 |
| 302 | that's still my stepfather today, even though my mom died, but they were married when she died | 今天我还是继父,虽然我妈妈死了,但他们是结婚的 |
| 303 | and he was my stepdad my whole life. | 他是我的继父 我的一生。 |
| 304 | So, so I have stepfather. | 所以我有继父了 |
| 305 | We don't need to give him a name | 我们不需要给他一个名字 |
| 306 | because he's not very important in this, in this story particularly, but yeah. | 因为在这个故事里 他并不重要 但是是的 |
| 307 | So if mother, | 所以如果妈妈 |
| 308 | so I lived half the time with my mother and stepfather and I lived half the time with my, | 所以我和妈妈和继父住在一起 和我的... |
| 309 | the man who believed he was my father, William and his new partner. | 他相信自己是我父亲 威廉和他的新搭档 |
| 310 | That was my stepmother. | 那是我的继母。 |
| 311 | They got married and yeah, eventually later on they got a divorce and whatever, but I still | 他们结婚了,是的, 最终他们离婚,什么的, 但我仍然 |
| 312 | considered that woman like my stepmother because she was a big part of my childhood. | 认为那个女人像我的继母 因为她是我童年的一大部分 |
| 313 | And I still | 我依旧 |
| 314 | have a good relationship with those step-parents today. | 今天和继父母的关系很好 |
| 315 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 316 | So, so I, I lived between these two | 所以,我,我住在这两个人之间 |
| 317 | houses. | 房屋。 |
| 318 | I grew up like this. | 我这样长大的 |
| 319 | Eventually when I was around the age of eight, eight years old, | 最终当我八八岁左右 |
| 320 | sorry, during this time also my mom had another child. | 对不起,在这段时间里,我妈妈还有另一个孩子 |
| 321 | She had a son, my brother Logan. | 她有个儿子 我弟弟洛根 |
| 322 | He was | 他曾经是 |
| 323 | when I was about five years old, six years old. | 当我大约5岁,6岁。 |
| 324 | So his father is my stepfather. | 所以他的父亲是我的继父 |
| 325 | So we have the same | 所以我们有同样的 |
| 326 | mother and a different, different father. | 母亲和不同的父亲 |
| 327 | So when I was about eight years old, William and my stepmom | 我八岁的时候,威廉和我继母 |
| 328 | got a divorce and then William started to have a hard time. | 然后威廉开始很难过 |
| 329 | He started to kind of spiral, | 他开始有点螺旋形, |
| 330 | started to go downhill. | 开始下山 |
| 331 | Everything in his life started to kind of go badly from my perspective. | 从我的角度来说,他生命中的一切 都变得很糟糕 |
| 332 | And he started to have new girlfriends and a new lifestyle. | 他开始有了新的女友和新的生活方式. |
| 333 | He was drinking. | 他在喝东西 |
| 334 | He had a problem with | 他有一个问题 |
| 335 | alcohol. | 饮酒。 |
| 336 | Pretty much all my parents had problems with alcohol. | 差不多我父母都酗酒有问题 |
| 337 | Thankfully I do not. | 幸好我没有 |
| 338 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 339 | And he, | 还有他 |
| 340 | he had a problem with alcohol, with money, with just being a responsible present father in my life. | 他有酗酒的问题, 钱的问题, 只是一个负责任的父亲 在我的生活中。 |
| 341 | He started to kind of be a bad dad. | 他开始是一个坏爸爸。 |
| 342 | Like he was good before and then he started to be | 好像他以前是好人 然后他开始是 |
| 343 | kind of bad. | 有点糟 |
| 344 | But I don't know, when I say he was good before, I think he did the, | 但我不知道,当我说 他以前是好人时, 我认为他做了, |
| 345 | I think he did the minimum of what he did, the normal thing that is required to be a father. | 我认为他做了他做过的最起码的事 做父亲的正常事情 |
| 346 | I don't like when people praise men for doing things that is just part of being a normal father. | 我不喜欢人们赞美男人 做一些只是做一个正常父亲的事情 |
| 347 | You know, like women do so much as mothers and they don't get the same praise often that men who | 你知道,就像女人做这么多 像母亲,她们没有得到同样的赞美 男人谁 |
| 348 | do like bare minimum father things with their kids get praised about. | 做一些像最小的父亲的事情 与他们的孩子得到称赞。 |
| 349 | They get praised for normal | 他们被称赞为正常人 |
| 350 | stuff. | 东西。 |
| 351 | So he was just being a normal father. | 所以他只是一个正常的父亲。 |
| 352 | But when I was around eight years old, he got a divorce | 但我八岁左右 他离婚了 |
| 353 | and he started to actually be a bad father. | 他开始是一个坏父亲。 |
| 354 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 355 | His life just got kind of messy. | 他的生活只是有点混乱。 |
| 356 | And I didn't | 我没有 |
| 357 | really want to live with him anymore. | 真的很想和他住在一起了。 |
| 358 | I didn't want to be a part. | 我不想成为其中的一部分。 |
| 359 | I wanted to see him sometimes. | 我有时想见他 |
| 360 | I still wanted him in my life, but I didn't want as much as before. | 我生命中仍然想要他 但我没有以前那么想要他 |
| 361 | And I was starting to get really | 我开始变得真的 |
| 362 | upset by his behavior because, you know, he would tell me like, oh, we're going to hang out next | 因为他会告诉我,我们接下来要出去玩 |
| 363 | weekend and then he would never show up, stuff like that. | 周末,然后他永远不会出现之类的东西。 |
| 364 | So I started to get, or a lot of things | 所以我开始得到很多东西 |
| 365 | happened. | 发生了 |
| 366 | You know, I would say how I don't want to stay at his girlfriend's house and he would get | 你知道,我会说,我如何不想 留在他的女朋友的房子,他会得到 |
| 367 | mad at me. | 生我的气,你疯了吗? |
| 368 | And, you know, just he started to be a bad dad, basically. | 而且,你知道,只是他开始 一个坏爸爸,基本上。 |
| 369 | And when I would confront him | 当我面对他 |
| 370 | about it, he never took responsibility. | 他从不承担责任 |
| 371 | You know, he never acknowledged that I was right. | 他从未承认我是对的 |
| 372 | And so I | 所以我才会 |
| 373 | started to get really angry at him. | 开始对他很生气 |
| 374 | And my mom, my mom, she, she told me that she wanted to make me | 我妈妈,我妈妈,她告诉我 她想让我 |
| 375 | feel better. | 感觉好多了。 |
| 376 | She wanted to give me hope that maybe he wasn't my father and maybe my real father was | 她想给我希望,也许他不是我父亲,也许我真正的父亲是 |
| 377 | better. | 好多了,你还好吧? |
| 378 | That's what she told me. | 这是她告诉我的。 |
| 379 | She said, you were so angry at him. | 她说,你很生他的气 |
| 380 | I thought, maybe if I tell you | 我想,也许如果我告诉你 |
| 381 | that he's, he might not be your father, it would make you happy. | 他可能不是你父亲 会让你高兴的 |
| 382 | That's what she said. | 她就是这么说的 |
| 383 | I'm just | 我只是说 |
| 384 | saying what she told me. | 说她告诉我的 |
| 385 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 386 | But I am glad that she told me, but that was a little crazy that she | 但我很高兴她告诉我, 但这是有点疯狂,她 |
| 387 | said that like that. | 这么说的 |
| 388 | But, but I understand, I understand where she was coming from. | 但是,但我知道,我知道她从哪里来。 |
| 389 | So she told | 所以她告诉 |
| 390 | me, she told me that he might not be my father. | 她告诉我他可能不是我父亲 |
| 391 | And she told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 392 | She told me about | 她告诉我的 |
| 393 | this other guy who lives in a different state. | 那个住在不同状态的人 |
| 394 | And she thinks that he is my father. | 她认为他是我父亲 |
| 395 | And she thought | 她认为 |
| 396 | that ever since I was born and that I even look more like him or there's certain, we have certain | 自从我出生以来,我甚至看起来更像他,或者肯定,我们有把握 |
| 397 | things in common. | 共同之处 |
| 398 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 399 | She gave me his name. | 她告诉我他的名字。 |
| 400 | She told me some things about him that she remembered. | 她告诉我一些关于他的事 她记得。 |
| 401 | And yeah, it was just from her memory. | 是的,这只是从她的记忆。 |
| 402 | She, she didn't have any contact with him. | 她没有和他有任何联系 |
| 403 | So she told me | 所以她告诉我 |
| 404 | that William might not be my father. | 威廉可能不是我父亲 |
| 405 | She told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 406 | She said, he might be, he said, | 她说,他可能是,他说, |
| 407 | she thinks he might be. | 她认为他可能是。 |
| 408 | She didn't tell me about anyone else. | 她没告诉我还有谁 |
| 409 | So she just said it's either Vincent | 她只是说不是文森特 |
| 410 | or William. | 或威廉。 或威廉吗? |
| 411 | She didn't give me another option. | 她没有给我另一个选择。 |
| 412 | So I thought, okay, it's between those two. | 所以我想,好吧,这是 在这两个之间。 |
| 413 | But at | 不过 |
| 414 | that age, I was like eight years old or nine years old, like one of those eight or nine. | 那时我八岁或九岁 就像那八九人中的一个 |
| 415 | And I knew that if my, I knew that if William found out about this, he would be very angry. | 我知道,如果我,我知道 如果威廉发现了这件事, 他会非常生气。 |
| 416 | He would be very upset at my mom for, for lying, for keeping this a secret. | 他对我妈妈很不高兴 因为她撒谎 隐瞒这件事 |
| 417 | And I would be caught | 我会被抓住的 |
| 418 | up in it. | 进去吧 |
| 419 | And I, I didn't want to deal with that. | 而我,我不想处理。 |
| 420 | And it kind of like protecting my mother. | 这就像保护我的母亲。 |
| 421 | I made the decision to not take a paternity test. | 我决定不做亲子鉴定 |
| 422 | I said, I don't want to know right now. | 我说,我现在不想知道。 |
| 423 | Like I don't care. | 就像我不在乎一样 |
| 424 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 425 | I said, I don't care. | 我说,我不在乎。 |
| 426 | He's been the only man that has, | 他是唯一一个 |
| 427 | you know, considered himself to be my father. | 你知道,认为自己是我父亲。 |
| 428 | He helped raise me like he is my father. | 他把我当父亲一样抚养长大 |
| 429 | So whatever, | 所以不管怎么样 |
| 430 | let's just continue with this idea that he is my father. | 让我们继续这个想法 他是我的父亲。 |
| 431 | But I always knew in the back of my head, | 但我总是在脑后知道 |
| 432 | he might not be. | 他也许不是。 |
| 433 | But I didn't, I never like saw him in a different light or felt something | 但我没有,我从来没有喜欢看到他 在不同的光或感觉的东西 |
| 434 | different toward him because of that. | 对他不同,因为那样。 |
| 435 | I truly believe that like if I was angry at him, it was | 我真心相信,如果我对他生气,那就是 |
| 436 | because of his behavior. | 因为他的行为 |
| 437 | It wasn't because I thought, oh, this man is not even my father. | 不是因为我想,哦,这个人甚至不是我父亲 |
| 438 | Like I didn't care about that. | 就像我不在乎那样 |
| 439 | I judged him for his behavior, whether he's my father or not. | 我评价他的行为 不管他是不是我父亲 |
| 440 | To me, | 对我来说 |
| 441 | father is less about the blood and more about the role that you have in someone's life. | 父亲不关心血 更关心你在别人生活中的角色 |
| 442 | And I can recognize that. | 我能认出来 |
| 443 | I could see that at that age. | 那年纪我看得出来 |
| 444 | So I said, I don't care so much. | 所以我说,我不在乎 |
| 445 | I just, | и琌 |
| 446 | I just want him to be better. | 我只想让他好起来 |
| 447 | But to be honest, I was a little bit excited. | 但说实话 我有点兴奋 |
| 448 | I was excited by the | 我很兴奋 |
| 449 | idea of maybe my father is somebody else. | 也许我父亲是别人 |
| 450 | I don't know the idea, the mystery of it, | 我不知道这个想法,它的秘密, |
| 451 | of this other father who is mysterious and interesting and unknown. | 一个神秘 有趣 未知的父亲 |
| 452 | It interested me at | 这让我感兴趣 |
| 453 | that age. | 那个年龄。 |
| 454 | It piqued my interest, but I didn't look into it. | 引起了我的兴趣 但我没有调查 |
| 455 | I didn't explore that further. | 我没有进一步探索 |
| 456 | So the years went by and my relationship with William did not get any better. | 几年过去了,我和威廉的关系也没有好转。 |
| 457 | And when I was | 当我是 |
| 458 | 14, at this point, like they had basically, my William had basically, I keep saying my, | 14,在这一点上,就像他们基本上, 我的威廉基本上,我一直说, |
| 459 | because I want to say like my dad, because that's what I called him most of my life. | 因为我想像我爸那样说 因为我一生中都这么叫他 |
| 460 | But, and I still refer to him. | 但我还是提到他 |
| 461 | I still call him my dad nowadays, but not always. | 我至今仍称他为我爸爸,但并非始终如此。 |
| 462 | It depends. | 这取决于。 |
| 463 | But anyways, I'm, I'm not giving anything away. | 但不管怎样,我,我不会放弃任何东西。 |
| 464 | I feel like you already know where the story is | 我感觉你已经知道故事在哪里了 |
| 465 | going. | 继续 |
| 466 | So yeah, I've given way too many clues, too many hints. | 所以,我放弃了太多的线索,太多的暗示。 |
| 467 | So, but maybe you don't know where | 所以,但也许你不知道在哪里 |
| 468 | the story is going. | 故事正在继续 |
| 469 | Let's see. | 让我看看。 |
| 470 | There are some twists and turns. | 有一些曲折和转弯。 |
| 471 | There are some unexpected twists | 有一些意外的曲折 |
| 472 | and turns that I think you don't anticipate. | 转过来,我认为你没有预料到。 |
| 473 | So buckle up. | 系好安全带 |
| 474 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 475 | So at this point, | 所以现在 |
| 476 | like by the time I was a teenager, William basically accepted that I live at my mom's | 就像我十几岁的时候 威廉基本上接受了我住在我妈妈家 |
| 477 | house. | 房子,这是... |
| 478 | I live with my mom and my stepdad and my brother. | 我和我妈妈、继父和弟弟住在一起 |
| 479 | And that's my home. | 这是我的家。 |
| 480 | And he just | 他刚刚 |
| 481 | would come and take me for, you know, a night, a day or two, once in a while. | 偶尔会来带我过一晚 一两天 |
| 482 | And we'd hang out. | 而我们挂出。 |
| 483 | He'd, you know, take me to his girlfriend at the times house, whichever girlfriend he had. | 他会,你知道,带我去他的女朋友 在时代的房子,无论他有女朋友。 |
| 484 | I never liked doing that. | 我从来没有喜欢这样做。 |
| 485 | I never liked any of his girlfriends or I didn't even really like him. | 我从来不喜欢他的任何女朋友 或者我真的不喜欢他。 |
| 486 | But it was my dad's, you know, I tried to make the best out of it. | 但这是我爸爸的,你知道的, 我试图使最好的出来。 |
| 487 | But yeah, I just didn't like | 但我不喜欢 |
| 488 | these kind of people. | 这种人。 |
| 489 | I felt like I had nothing in common with them. | 我觉得我跟他们没什么共同点 |
| 490 | Like they're people at the | 就像他们都是人一样 |
| 491 | end of the day, they're people, but like people are people. | 最后,他们是人, 但就像人是人。 |
| 492 | We all can relate to each other in | 我们都能在 |
| 493 | some way. | 某种方式。 |
| 494 | But I just felt like I had, I had nothing in common with these people and these | 但我觉得自己有, 我没有什么共同点 这些人和这些 |
| 495 | I would never hang out with them if I didn't have to. | 如果没必要,我绝不会和他们在一起 |
| 496 | I felt like obligated. | 我觉得我有义务 |
| 497 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 498 | And usually | 通常 |
| 499 | their house smelled like cigarettes and it made all my clothes and hair smell like cigarettes. | 他们的房子闻起来像香烟 它让我所有的衣服和头发闻起来像香烟 |
| 500 | And yeah, I just, I just didn't like a lot of things about that. | 是的,我只是,我只是不喜欢 很多事情。 |
| 501 | And I felt obligated. | 我感到有义务。 |
| 502 | I felt like my mom was like, just go make him happy. | 我觉得我妈妈喜欢, 只是去让他快乐。 |
| 503 | Go hang out with, you know, | 出去玩玩吧,你知道的,我... |
| 504 | go hang out with them. | 和他们一起玩吧 |
| 505 | And then my dad would pressure me. | 然后我爸会给我施压 |
| 506 | William, my William would pressure | 威廉,我的威廉会施压 |
| 507 | me and my mom would pressure me and everybody would pressure me to hang out, to go spend time | 我和我妈会给我压力,每个人都会给我压力,让我出去玩,去花点时间 |
| 508 | with William, with my dad at the time. | 和威廉, 和我父亲在当时。 |
| 509 | And I think that is so wrong. | 我认为这是错误的。 |
| 510 | I think that is so wrong to | 我觉得这样不对 |
| 511 | pressure a child to spend time with a family member that they don't want to spend time with. | 迫使孩子和他们不想在一起的家庭成员在一起 |
| 512 | I don't care if it's a father or mother. | 不论父母. |
| 513 | I don't care who it is. | 我不在乎是谁 |
| 514 | You should never pressure someone. | 你不应该强迫别人 |
| 515 | You never pressure a child to hang out with. | 你从不强迫一个孩子出去玩 |
| 516 | That's, I think it's horrible, honestly. | 老实说,我认为这是可怕的。 |
| 517 | But | 不过 |
| 518 | that's, that's how I felt. | 这就是我的感受 |
| 519 | And that's what was done. | 事情就是这样的 |
| 520 | And yeah, I mean, I have a long list of | 是的,我的意思是,我有一个长列表 |
| 521 | things I disagree with my parents about with the way that I was raised and the way that they are | 我不同意我父母对我成长的方式 和他们的方式 |
| 522 | and whatever. | 还有别的什么 |
| 523 | I am very different than my parents. | 我和我父母很不一样 |
| 524 | A lot of things they didn't, a lot of things they | 很多他们没有的东西, 很多他们 |
| 525 | didn't understand that I understood. | 不明白,我明白这一点。 |
| 526 | Yeah, a lot of, they had a lot of issues that I don't have. | 是啊,很多,他们有很多问题 我没有。 |
| 527 | Maybe I was born different. | 也许我生来不同 |
| 528 | Maybe I was, maybe I learned from their mistakes. | 也许我是从他们的错误中吸取教训的 |
| 529 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 530 | But | 不过 |
| 531 | yeah, my parents had a lot of issues and they didn't really know what they were doing. | 是啊,我的父母有很多问题 他们真的不知道他们在做什么。 |
| 532 | I mean, nobody really does, but they really didn't know what they were doing. | 我的意思是,没有人真的做, 但他们真的不知道 他们在做什么。 |
| 533 | So yeah, I think I'm a lot more qualified to be a parent, but we'll see. | 所以,是的,我想我更有资格 当一个父母, 但我们会看到。 |
| 534 | I don't have my own kids | 我没有自己的孩子 |
| 535 | yet, but my mom always used to like to remind me about that. | 但是,但我妈妈总是喜欢提醒我这一点。 |
| 536 | You'll see when you have your own kids. | 你会看到当你有自己的孩子。 |
| 537 | Yeah, but we're different. | 是啊,但我们是不同的。 |
| 538 | We're very different. | 我们很不一样 |
| 539 | I am very different than my mom and my everyone, | 我和我妈妈和我每个人 都不一样 |
| 540 | everyone in my family. | 我家里的每一个人 |
| 541 | I am super different. | 我超级不同。 |
| 542 | The choices I make in my life. | 我生命中的选择 |
| 543 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 544 | Anyways, | 总之, |
| 545 | I could talk about that all day long. | 我可以整天谈论这个 |
| 546 | But anyways, so at that point, yeah, my home was my mom, | 但无论如何,所以当时, 是的,我的家是我妈妈, |
| 547 | my stepdad and my brother's house. | 我的继父和我哥哥的房子。 |
| 548 | But when I was 14, my mom died. | 但当我14岁的时候,我妈妈死了。 |
| 549 | She was diagnosed with cancer | 她被诊断患有癌症 |
| 550 | when I was like 11. | 当我11岁时 |
| 551 | So she'd been living with it for like a few years. | 所以她已经和它同居了几年了 |
| 552 | So it was normal, but | 所以这是正常的,但 |
| 553 | I didn't really think she was going to die. | 我没想到她会死 |
| 554 | She would always tell me there's no cure, there's no | 她总是告诉我没有解药,没有 |
| 555 | cure, whatever. | 治疗什么的 |
| 556 | But I, I always, I never thought that she would really die, but she did. | 但我,我总是,我从来没有想过 她会真的死,但她做到了。 |
| 557 | And at | 还有 |
| 558 | that point, no, what am I saying? | 不,我在说什么? |
| 559 | What's his name? | 他叫什么来着? |
| 560 | Oh yeah, William. | 哦,对,威廉。 |
| 561 | William, when my mom died, | 威廉,当我妈妈去世时 |
| 562 | William tried to get me to go live with him and his girlfriend or wife or whatever at the time. | 威廉试图让我去 与他和他的女朋友或妻子, 或任何在当时。 |
| 563 | I don't remember. | 我不记得了 |
| 564 | And I was like, no, no, I don't want, I live with my stepdad and my brother just | 我当时想,不,不,我不想,我和我继父和我弟弟住在一起 |
| 565 | because my mom died. | 因为我妈妈死了 |
| 566 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 567 | I'm still going to live here. | 我还是要住在这里。 |
| 568 | This is my, this is my home. | 这是我的,这是我的家。 |
| 569 | This is | 这是 |
| 570 | I'm not leaving. | 我不会离开的 |
| 571 | So yeah, I think, I think he tried to fight me about that. | 所以,我想,我想,他试图 跟我争这个。 |
| 572 | I forgot a lot of | 我忘记了很多 |
| 573 | the details, but my stepdad reminded me that I think he even called the cops because he was, | 细节,但我继父提醒我, 我想他甚至报警 因为他是, |
| 574 | he was really trying to force me to live with him. | 他真的想强迫我跟他住在一起 |
| 575 | And I was like, are you crazy? | 我当时想,你疯了吗? |
| 576 | Like I have | 就像我有一样 |
| 577 | not lived with you full time since I was like seven. | 从我七岁起就一直没跟你住在一起 |
| 578 | I'm not, uh-uh. | 我没有... |
| 579 | I don't even like you, bro. | 我甚至不喜欢你,兄弟。 |
| 580 | I'm not | 我没有 |
| 581 | doing that. | 这样做。 |
| 582 | I don't even, I don't even want to hang out with you for three days. | 我甚至不,我甚至不想 挂与你三天。 |
| 583 | What do you mean | 你说什么 |
| 584 | live with you? | 跟你住吗? |
| 585 | You freaking crazy. | 你这疯子 |
| 586 | Uh, so yeah. | 嗯,所以对了。 |
| 587 | So, but eventually he, once he saw that, like, | 所以,但最终他, 一旦他看到,喜欢, |
| 588 | I think he called the cops and the cops in like, cop was like, she's, she lives here. | 我想他给警察和警察打了电话 她住在这里 |
| 589 | She's fine | 她没事 |
| 590 | here. | 在这里。 |
| 591 | I can't force her to go live with you, bro. | 我不能强迫她跟你一起住 兄弟 |
| 592 | Like this is her home. | 就像这里是她的家 |
| 593 | Like just because her mom | 就像因为她妈妈 |
| 594 | died, you know, she's still living with her brother and her stepdad and she wants to. | 她死了,你知道,她仍然 与她的哥哥和她的继父生活 她想。 |
| 595 | So, so then he | 所以,他现在 |
| 596 | backed off. | 退缩了 |
| 597 | He backed down and then because he was forced to basically, he had no choice. | 他退缩了,然后因为他基本上被迫,他别无选择。 |
| 598 | And then my stepdad was having a hard time. | 后来我继父也很难过 |
| 599 | All of these people, God, they had such a hard time | 所有这些人,上帝, 他们有这么困难的时间 |
| 600 | with life. | 与生命相伴而来。 |
| 601 | They just couldn't get it together. | 他们只是不能得到它在一起。 |
| 602 | He was having a hard time. | 他当时很辛苦 |
| 603 | He's abusing alcohol. | 他滥用酒精。 |
| 604 | He's | 琌 |
| 605 | starting to be rude to me and treat me not like, um, nobody in my family was ever physically abusive | 开始对我粗鲁对待我 不像,嗯, 没有人在我家 曾经身体虐待 |
| 606 | to me, but he would drink and he would get a little like verbally abusive, like bullying, | 对我来说,但他会喝酒, 他会得到一点点 像辱骂,像欺负, |
| 607 | like, like he would say, you know, say rude things to me. | 就像他会说,你知道, 对我说粗鲁的事情。 |
| 608 | And I was like, I was, yeah, | 我当时想,是的, |
| 609 | I didn't have a great relationship with him either. | 我也和他没有很好的关系 |
| 610 | Um, so we started to have problems and I, | 嗯,所以我们开始 有问题和我, |
| 611 | and I really wanted to stay living with my brother, but I just started to have problems | 我真的很想和我哥哥住在一起 但我开始有麻烦了 |
| 612 | with my stepdad. | 和我的继父。 |
| 613 | And so when I started to have problems with my stepdad, William saw it as an | 所以当我开始跟我的继父有问题时 威廉视之为 |
| 614 | opportunity to come in and take me to live with him, but I was still fighting that I did not want | 但我仍然在战斗,我不想 |
| 615 | to go live with William. | 和威廉一起过日子 |
| 616 | That's the last place I wanted to go live. | 这是我最不想住的地方 |
| 617 | I'd rather live with my grandma. | 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 |
| 618 | So for a time I went to live with my grandma. | 所以有一段时间我跟我奶奶住在一起 |
| 619 | Um, I lived with one of my aunts. | 嗯,我和我的一个阿姨住在一起。 |
| 620 | It's complicated. | 这很复杂。 |
| 621 | It was a whole, a whole thing, but, um, basically I was like, I want to live anywhere but with him. | 整个事情,但,嗯,基本上,我就像, 我想住任何地方,但与他。 |
| 622 | Like I will live with any family member, any person except him. | 就像我会和家人一起生活 除了他 |
| 623 | And he didn't like that. | 他不喜欢这样 |
| 624 | He was, he hated that. | 他是,他讨厌那。 |
| 625 | And so he was like calling up my aunt and like basically harassing her and | 所以他喜欢打电话给我姨妈 基本上骚扰她 |
| 626 | like just even my grandma was pressuring me to go live with him. | 就像我奶奶逼我跟他住一样 |
| 627 | Everybody was kind of like, | 每个人都喜欢, |
| 628 | I don't want to fight him. | 我不想和他战斗 |
| 629 | He's your father. | 他是你父亲 |
| 630 | He should take you. | 他应该带你走 |
| 631 | And they couldn't empathize | 他们无法同情 |
| 632 | me or understand how I felt. | 或者理解我的感觉 |
| 633 | And so it got to a point where he, William was trying so hard, | 威廉很努力地尝试 |
| 634 | fighting so hard for me to live with him that I, I got basically desperate. | 为了我和他住在一起 我非常绝望 |
| 635 | I got to, I reached | 我必须去,我到了 |
| 636 | my limit of the maximum I could take. | 我最大的极限,我能承受。 |
| 637 | I couldn't handle it anymore. | 我受不了了,我无法承受 |
| 638 | So I told him, and by the way, | 所以我告诉他,顺便说一句, |
| 639 | I'm speaking slowly. | 我说话慢。 |
| 640 | It's not because I'm feeling emotional or because I am, um, trying to talk | 不是因为我情绪激动 也不是因为我... |
| 641 | slower for you guys. | 你们慢点 |
| 642 | I'm just talking this because I'm literally thinking about what to say as like, | 我只是在说这个 因为我正想着该说什么 |
| 643 | how to tell you the story as I'm doing it. | 如何告诉你的故事 当我这样做。 |
| 644 | So I'm trying to focus. | 所以我想专注。 |
| 645 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 646 | What do I say next? | 接下来我要说什么? |
| 647 | What | 什麽? |
| 648 | do I, how do I say this? | 我该怎么说呢? |
| 649 | That's why. | 故说. |
| 650 | So yeah, so I hit, I hit my limit. | 所以,我打,我达到极限。 |
| 651 | I said, I can't take this | 我说,我受不了了 |
| 652 | anymore. | 现在。 |
| 653 | I can't handle this anymore. | 我受不了这个了 |
| 654 | There is one thing I know, there's one chance I have at | 我知道一件事,我有一个机会 |
| 655 | getting him to stop, to stop harassing, to stop trying to force me to live with him, to stop | 阻止他 停止骚扰 停止强迫我和他生活 |
| 656 | fighting. | 战斗 |
| 657 | There's one thing I can use. | 有一点我可以用 |
| 658 | There's one card I can play. | 我可以打一张牌 |
| 659 | And that is, you might not be my | 也就是说,你可能不是我的 |
| 660 | father. | 父亲 |
| 661 | I want a paternity test. | 我要做亲子鉴定 |
| 662 | William, now, give it to me now, you little. | 威廉,现在给我,你这个小家伙 |
| 663 | And so I wrote him a letter and I told him and he was all emotional. | 我给他写了封信 告诉他他很激动 |
| 664 | And believe me, | 并且相信我, |
| 665 | I truly empathize with him. | 我真心的同情他,我爱他 |
| 666 | I can't imagine 15 at this point, I was 15 years old, 15 years later, | 我无法想象15岁,15年后 |
| 667 | after thinking that I'm somebody's parent, that I'm somebody's father to find out 15 years later, | 认为我是别人的家长 认为我是别人的爸爸 发现15年后 |
| 668 | that I might not be their father or that I'm not their father, crushing. | 我可能不是他们的父亲 或者我不是他们的父亲,粉碎。 |
| 669 | I mean, obviously | 我的意思是,很明显 |
| 670 | shouldn't change the way that you feel about the person, like, you know, that you should, you know, | 不应该改变你对人的感觉 就像,你知道,你应该,你知道, |
| 671 | the way you want to still be their father. | 你想成为他们父亲的方式 |
| 672 | But just to find that out is, I think it's devastating. | 但是为了找出问题 我认为这很严重 |
| 673 | It's very upsetting. | 真让人心烦 |
| 674 | And yeah, I mean, I can't imagine. | 是的,我是说,我不能想象。 |
| 675 | I mean, I empathize with him for | 我是说 我同情他 |
| 676 | experiencing that. | 经历那。 |
| 677 | I'm sure that was very hard for him. | 我肯定那对他来说是很难的 |
| 678 | I think it's still hard for him years and | 我觉得对他来说还是很难过 |
| 679 | years later. | 数年后. |
| 680 | So yeah, so that was very hard for him to realize that he might not be. | 所以他很难意识到他可能不是 |
| 681 | But he agreed, | 不过他同意了 |
| 682 | he agreed to do it, to get a paternity test. | 他同意这样做, 得到一个父子关系测试。 |
| 683 | And so we did it. | 所以,我们做到了。 |
| 684 | We did it. | 我们成功了 |
| 685 | We went to a lab and we | 我们去了实验室 |
| 686 | did it. | 已经做到了。 |
| 687 | And then we waited patiently for the results. | 然后我们耐心等待结果。 |
| 688 | And I'll never forget the day when he | 我永远不会忘记他 |
| 689 | picked me up with his new wife or whatever. | 接我和他的新妻子什么的。 |
| 690 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 691 | You know, it's like, I don't care. | 你知道,这就像, 我不在乎。 |
| 692 | Wife, girlfriend, whoever it was. | 老婆 女朋友 不管是谁 |
| 693 | What was her name? | 她叫什么来着? |
| 694 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 695 | No, I remember. | 不,我记得 |
| 696 | I'm kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| 697 | I just didn't like her. | 我只是不喜欢她 |
| 698 | But I didn't like him either. | 但我也不喜欢他 |
| 699 | Don't get it | 你不要这样 |
| 700 | twisted. | 扭曲。 |
| 701 | I'll never forget when they picked me up and there was kind of like, I knew that this was | 我永远不会忘记 当他们来接我的时候... ... ...... |
| 702 | the day they were going to give me the results. | 那天他们要给我结果 |
| 703 | And there was this kind of tension in the air, | 空气中出现了这种紧张 |
| 704 | this kind of silence, awkward silence, tension, something in the air when I got in the car. | 这种沉默,尴尬的沉默,紧张, 东西在空中 当我上车。 |
| 705 | But I'm just like, okay. | 但我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 706 | Secretly, I was thinking probably he's not my father. | 秘密地,我在想他是不是我父亲。 |
| 707 | They want to tell | 他们想告诉 |
| 708 | me in person because they want to say, he wants to say, oh, but I still feel like I'm your father | 我亲自来,因为他们想说, 他想说,哦,但我仍然感觉我是你爸爸 |
| 709 | and he's going to do this emotional thing. | 他将会做这种情感的事情。 |
| 710 | And I need to just, even though I'm probably going to | 我需要只是, 尽管我可能要去 |
| 711 | be happy, I need to just pretend like be serious and be respectful because I understand that this | 高兴点,我需要假装认真点 尊重别人 因为我明白 |
| 712 | is hard for him. | 对他来说很难 |
| 713 | So I was just like, Hey guys, what's up? | 所以,我只是喜欢, 嘿,伙计们,怎么了? |
| 714 | How you know, how you doing blah, blah, | 你怎么知道,你怎么样 诸如此类, |
| 715 | trying to be civil, trying to be respectful. | 努力做到文明,努力做到尊重. |
| 716 | We go to a restaurant and we sit down in the restaurant. | 我们去一家餐厅,坐在餐厅里 |
| 717 | The waitress takes our order. | 服务员听我们吩咐 |
| 718 | And then after he told me, he told me the results were negative. | 然后他告诉我,他告诉我 结果是负面的。 |
| 719 | He is not my father. | 他不是我父亲 |
| 720 | William, you are not the father. | 威廉 你不是父亲 |
| 721 | And I immediately was extremely relieved, | 我立即感到非常宽慰, |
| 722 | extremely happy. | 非常快乐 |
| 723 | And that tells you everything you need to know. | 这告诉你所有你需要知道的 |
| 724 | But I didn't want to show this joy. | 但我不想展示这种快乐。 |
| 725 | So I just tried to maintain seriousness, like, okay, okay, okay. | 所以我试图保持严肃, 像,好吧,好吧,好吧。 |
| 726 | And he's telling me, | 他告诉我, |
| 727 | but this doesn't change how I feel. | 但这并不改变我的感受 |
| 728 | I'm always going to be a father. | 我永远会是一个父亲。 |
| 729 | But yeah, he's telling me | 但是,他告诉我 |
| 730 | how he just, he got really mad at my mom. | 他对我妈很生气 |
| 731 | He was swearing about my mom and he was angry toward her, | 他发誓说我妈妈 他对她生气 |
| 732 | which is reasonable, justified. | 这是合理的,合理的。 |
| 733 | Of course he has every right to be angry at my mom. | 他当然有权利对我妈生气 |
| 734 | And thankfully, | 谢天谢地, |
| 735 | she was not there. | 她不在场。 |
| 736 | She already died. | 她已经死了。 |
| 737 | So, cause if she was alive, she probably would have never | 所以,因为 如果她还活着, 她可能永远不会 |
| 738 | heard the end of that. | 听到结束。 |
| 739 | And yeah, she probably should have had to face that consequence of | 是的,她可能不得不面对 后果 |
| 740 | her action. | 她的行为。 |
| 741 | Yeah, she should have. | 是啊,她应该有。 |
| 742 | That was so wrong of her. | 这太错了她。 |
| 743 | But well, she avoided that one. | 但是,她避免了那个。 |
| 744 | And then he asked me, William asked me, like, why did you decide to bring this up now? | 然后他问我,威廉问我, 像,为什么你决定 现在提出这个? |
| 745 | Why did you decide to tell me now and to do all of this now? | 为什么你现在决定告诉我 现在做这一切? |
| 746 | Why now? | 为什么是现在? |
| 747 | And to me, I'm like, bro, | 对我来说,我就像,兄弟, |
| 748 | isn't it obvious? | 是不是很明显? |
| 749 | Like, isn't it obvious? | 是不是很明显? |
| 750 | You're being like a tyrant and this is the only way for | 你像个暴君 这是唯一的办法 |
| 751 | me to break free from you. | 我从你身上解脱出来 |
| 752 | But I told him, like, I just wanted to know. | 但我告诉他,喜欢, 我只是想知道。 |
| 753 | I'm just curious. | 我只是有点好奇 |
| 754 | Just | 刚刚 |
| 755 | curious. | 好奇吗? |
| 756 | Just curious. | 只是好奇罢了 |
| 757 | Like, bro, are you stupid? | 像,兄弟,你傻吗? |
| 758 | Are you stupid? | 你傻吗? |
| 759 | Obviously, you're an authoritarian | 很明显,你是个独裁者 |
| 760 | prick. | 阴茎。 |
| 761 | You're, you're an asshole. | 你是,你是一个混蛋。 |
| 762 | Like, you're, you're so messed up. | 喜欢,你,你是如此搞砸了。 |
| 763 | I hate you. | 我讨厌你 |
| 764 | What the hell? | 什么情况? |
| 765 | Of course I'm happy about not being your biological daughter. | 我当然很高兴没有做你的亲生女儿 |
| 766 | You can't act like you can control me, | 你不能装作可以控制我 |
| 767 | even though you're still on my birth certificate. | 即使你还在我的出生证上 |
| 768 | He is. | 没错 |
| 769 | He's still on my birth certificate. | 他还在我的出生证上 |
| 770 | And, | 还有, |
| 771 | and I still have his last name. | 我还有他的姓 |
| 772 | So, um, but yeah, but I was, I was okay because I knew this was hard | 所以,嗯,但是是的, 但我是,我没事 因为我知道这很难 |
| 773 | for him. | 为了他 |
| 774 | And yeah, I spent a good amount of my childhood with him. | 是的,我花了很多时间 与他的童年。 |
| 775 | So I was okay with being, | 所以,我没事的, |
| 776 | I was okay with continuing, like, to call him dad and to treat him like my father. | 我同意继续叫他爸爸 像对待我父亲一样 |
| 777 | But I just | 但我刚刚 |
| 778 | wanted him to know that like legally he doesn't have the right to force me to live with him. | 想要他知道在法律上 他无权强迫我和他一起生活 |
| 779 | That's all I wanted. | 这就是我想要的。 |
| 780 | You could, you could be my dad and take me to go get ice cream and whatever. | 你可以做我爸爸 带我去吃冰淇淋什么的 |
| 781 | We can ha ha and have dad daughter time, but do not force me to live with you. | 我们可以有爸爸的女儿时间, 但不要强迫我和你一起生活。 |
| 782 | So I got what I | 所以我得到了我的东西 |
| 783 | wanted. | 被通缉了 |
| 784 | And that's what I wanted. | 这就是我想要的。 |
| 785 | And yeah, so after he told me we were in the restaurant, | 所以在他告诉我我们在餐厅后 |
| 786 | right. | 对 |
| 787 | And I go to the bath, I say, I need to go to the bathroom. | 我得去洗个澡 我得去洗手间 |
| 788 | So I go to the bathroom | 所以我去厕所 |
| 789 | and I'm in the bathroom by myself and I'm just like, yes, thank you. | 我一个人在洗手间里,谢谢 |
| 790 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 791 | I was so happy. | 我很高兴。 |
| 792 | I was celebrating so hard in the bathroom. | 我在洗手间很辛苦地庆祝 |
| 793 | I was like, yes, like I went in the stall, | 我就像,是的,就像我走进摊位, |
| 794 | the toilet stall. | 厕所 |
| 795 | I was like, oh my God, I wanted, I want to have a party. | 我当时想,哦,我的上帝, 我想,我想有一个党。 |
| 796 | It's just so happy. | 真开心 |
| 797 | It's | 这是 |
| 798 | of course there was like a little bit of like, oh yeah, he's really not my dad. | 当然,有一样有点像, 哦,是的,他真的不是我爸爸。 |
| 799 | You know, obviously I have good memories with him from my childhood. | 很明显 我从小就和他有着美好的回忆 |
| 800 | Obviously I have good | 很明显,我有很好的 |
| 801 | memories with him. | 他的记忆 |
| 802 | There were many times when he was a good dad, you know, a normal dad, | 当他是一个好爸爸的时候 曾经有很多次 一个正常的爸爸 |
| 803 | but a good dad, you know, of course, of course, my family always likes to remind me that when I was | 但是个好爸爸,你知道, 当然,我的家人总是喜欢提醒我 当我是 |
| 804 | little, when I was really little, he was a good dad, you know, and I loved him. | 我小时候,他是个好爸爸,我爱他 |
| 805 | Of course, when | 当然,当 |
| 806 | kids are little, they worship their parents, you know, when their kids are little, they think | 孩子们很小,他们崇拜他们的父母, 你知道,当他们的孩子很小, 他们认为 |
| 807 | their parents are the best thing ever and they, they're gods and you know, it's very easy to be | 他们的父母是有史以来最好的 他们,他们是神 你知道,这很容易 |
| 808 | loved by little children. | 被小孩爱着 |
| 809 | And yeah, he, he's not a bad guy necessarily in general. | 是的,他,他不是一个坏人 必然在总体上。 |
| 810 | And yeah, | 没错, |
| 811 | he always would play with me, play with me and joke around with me and, you know, spoil me. | 他总是和我玩,和我玩 和我开玩笑,你知道,宠坏我。 |
| 812 | And | 还有 |
| 813 | yeah, I mean, I have a lot of good memories of him when I was a little kid and I, I recognize | 是啊,我的意思是,我有很多好的回忆 他,当我还是个孩子,我承认 |
| 814 | that and I acknowledge that. | 我承认这一点。 |
| 815 | And it's a little sad. | 则稍悲. |
| 816 | It's a little sad to think about that and, | 想想这个有点悲哀, |
| 817 | and stuff, but, but you don't get a free pass to treat me however you want when I'm a teenager, | 但你没有免费通行证 来对待我 当我还是青少年的时候 |
| 818 | just because you played Barbies with me when I was four, you know, or eight or whatever. | 就因为我四岁时 你跟我玩芭比娃娃 或者是八岁之类的 |
| 819 | Just, you don't, you can't just, you don't get like a free pass. | 只是,你没有,你不能 只是,你没有得到像一个免费通行证。 |
| 820 | You people, a lot of people | 你们这些人,很多人 |
| 821 | don't understand this, but I think times are changing and younger generations are starting | 不明白,但我觉得时代在改变 年轻一代在开始 |
| 822 | to realize this. | 要意识到这一点。 |
| 823 | This idea that we need to stop objectifying children. | 这个想法,我们需要停止 将儿童作为对象。 |
| 824 | They're not your property | 他们不是你的财产 |
| 825 | that you can just do what you want with. | 你可以随心所欲 |
| 826 | They are people. | 他们是人。 |
| 827 | You need to respect them. | 你要尊重他们 |
| 828 | And you don't | 你没有 |
| 829 | have the right, once they get to a certain age, when they're little, okay, whatever, as long as | 有权利,一旦他们到了某个年龄, 当他们很小,好吧,随便什么,只要 |
| 830 | you're not like abusing them, like, okay, you're their parent, whatever. | 你不喜欢虐待他们, 像,好吧,你是他们的父母,随便什么。 |
| 831 | But, but I would say when | 但我会说 |
| 832 | they're a teenager, twenties, when they're an adult or they're getting to be adult age, you don't | 她们是十几岁,二十几岁, 她们成年了,或者成年了,你不会 |
| 833 | have a right to be in your child's life. | 有权进入你的孩子的生活。 |
| 834 | That is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 835 | Just because you are a blood family | 就因为你是血族 |
| 836 | or just because you raised someone does not mean you have a right to be in their life when they're | 或者只是因为你养了一个人 并不意味着你有权利 在他们的生活,当他们 |
| 837 | older. | 年长。 |
| 838 | It is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 839 | You don't get respect just by being related to someone or older than | 你不只是因为和某个人或比他年长的人有亲戚关系 就得不到尊重 |
| 840 | someone. | 有人吗? |
| 841 | Respect is earned. | 尊重是赢得的。 |
| 842 | So, so yeah. | 所以,所以对了。 |
| 843 | So when my family always tells me like, he was a good dad | 所以当我的家人总是告诉我 他是个好爸爸 |
| 844 | when you were little. | 你小时候 |
| 845 | I'm just like, okay. | 我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 846 | And, you know, it's not good enough. | 而且,你知道,这还不够好。 |
| 847 | It's easy to be a | 做一个容易 |
| 848 | dad when, when your child is three and, you know, is super easy. | 爸爸,当你的孩子三岁, 你知道,是超级容易。 |
| 849 | But what about when your child is | 但当你的孩子是 |
| 850 | 13? | 13号? |
| 851 | Can you be a good dad when your child is 13? | 你的孩子13岁的时候能当个好爸爸吗? |
| 852 | What about when your child is 23? | 你的孩子23岁时怎么办? |
| 853 | Can you be a | 你能成为一个 |
| 854 | good dad when your child is 23? | 你孩子23岁的时候,是个好爸爸? |
| 855 | So, yeah. | 对 |
| 856 | So that's that. | 就这样 |
| 857 | And so I went that year, I went to go live | 于是我去了那一年,我去了生活 |
| 858 | with my, my mom's sister and aunt and I lived with her and I had two more years of high school | 我和我妈的姐姐和阿姨住在一起 我又读了两年高中 |
| 859 | before I graduated. | 在我毕业之前 |
| 860 | But I, because of my state, my state allows some students, like my state allows | 但我,因为我的州, 我的州允许一些学生, 就像我的州允许 |
| 861 | you to combine the last two years into one year if you want to. | 如果你愿意的话,你将把过去两年合并为一年。 |
| 862 | So that's what I did because I | 所以这就是我所做的,因为我 |
| 863 | didn't like school and I wanted to get out and yeah. | 不喜欢上学 我想出去,是啊。 |
| 864 | So, and I was tired of living with my family | 我厌倦了和家人住在一起 |
| 865 | and I just wanted, I wanted freedom. | 我只是想,我想要自由。 |
| 866 | I wanted to leave my state and I, so I combined the last, | 我想离开我的州和我, 所以我结合最后一个, |
| 867 | I combined the last two years. | 我合并过去两年。 |
| 868 | I graduated that, that year when I was 16 and I was able to get | 我16岁那年就毕业了,我得到了 |
| 869 | enough financial aid to allow me to go to college in Florida. | 足够我上佛罗里达大学的财政援助 |
| 870 | So I went to school, went to college | 所以我去学校,上大学 |
| 871 | in Florida. | 在佛罗里达州。 |
| 872 | So then I was kind of free. | 所以我就有点自由了 |
| 873 | I was, you know, I was, I left my home state. | 我,你知道,我是,我离开了我的家乡。 |
| 874 | I was far away | 我远道而来 |
| 875 | from, from Maine, from all my family and I was going to school and I was living there and I, | 来自缅因州,来自所有我的家人 我上学,我住在那里,我, |
| 876 | yeah. | 对 |
| 877 | So that was the last time that I saw him. | 那是我最后一次见到他 |
| 878 | Okay, but I need to go back. | 好吧,但我必须回去。 |
| 879 | I need to rewind | 我要倒车 |
| 880 | because this is an important part of the story I forgot to tell you. | 因为这是我忘记告诉你的故事的一个重要部分。 |
| 881 | So during this last year | 所以去年这段日子 |
| 882 | of high school, after I found out that William is not my father and while I was living with my aunt, | 高中的时候,我发现威廉不是我父亲 当我和我姨妈住在一起时, |
| 883 | I was curious about this Vincent guy. | 我对这个文森特很好奇 |
| 884 | I said, okay, well, if William's not my father, then | 我说,好吧,好吧, 如果威廉不是我父亲,那么 |
| 885 | Vincent must be my father. | 文森特一定是我父亲 |
| 886 | So I remembered Vincent's full name and I, I started to search | 所以我想起文森特的全名 我开始搜索 |
| 887 | on the internet and I found a guy with this name on Facebook and he looked like maybe he could be | 我在Facebook上找到一个叫这个名字的人 他看起来可能是 |
| 888 | my father. | 我的父亲。 |
| 889 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 890 | We didn't look super alike, but maybe. | 我们看起来不是超级相似,但也许。 |
| 891 | And it's hard because I was | 这很难,因为我 |
| 892 | a teenage girl. | 一个少女。 |
| 893 | It's hard to compare to like a father aged man, you know, in physical appearance | 很难比得上一个像父亲的老人, 你知道,在外表上 |
| 894 | we're very different, but yeah, but I don't know. | 我们很不一样,但是是的,但我不知道。 |
| 895 | My aunt said we looked alike. | 我姨妈说我们长得像 |
| 896 | I didn't really see | 我真的没看到 |
| 897 | it, but anyway, so I, I contacted this guy and I, and I asked him if he remembered my mom and he | 我联系了这家伙 我问他是否记得我妈妈和他 |
| 898 | said he did. | 他说他做到了。 |
| 899 | So I said, okay, so this is the guy then. | 所以我说,好吧,这就是那个家伙。 |
| 900 | And I told him, I told him what everything | 我告诉他,我告诉他一切 |
| 901 | my mom told me. | 我妈妈告诉我的 |
| 902 | And he obviously was surprised, but I think he reacted pretty good. | 显然他很惊讶 但我觉得他的反应很好 |
| 903 | He seemed like | 他看起来像 |
| 904 | a very genuine guy. | 一个非常真实的人。 |
| 905 | He seemed to be genuinely interested, happy. | 他看起来很感兴趣,很快乐 |
| 906 | He was happy to talk to me, | 他很高兴能和我说话 |
| 907 | to get to know me. | 来了解我 |
| 908 | He thought there is a chance I am your father. | 他以为我是你父亲 |
| 909 | He was living in a different | 他住的地方不一样 |
| 910 | part of the country. | 国家的一部分。 |
| 911 | He had his own family. | 他有自己的家庭。 |
| 912 | He had two kids that were younger than me, obviously. | 显然他有两个比我小的孩子 |
| 913 | And yeah, so we started to, we started to talk, like to get to know each other. | 是啊,所以我们开始, 我们开始谈, 像开始了解对方。 |
| 914 | We started to | 我们开始 |
| 915 | talk on the phone, like multiple times a week. | 在电话上说话, 像每周多次。 |
| 916 | Like he would call me after school and we would | 就像他放学后打电话给我一样 |
| 917 | just talk. | 说话就好 |
| 918 | I don't know why we talked so long before getting a paternity test. | 我不知道我们为什么在做亲子鉴定之前就谈了这么久 |
| 919 | I think we were | 我想我们是 |
| 920 | trying to figure out how to do it because we were in different places, but I was waiting for him to | 试图想出怎么做,因为我们在不同的地方, 但我在等待他 |
| 921 | figure it out. | 想办法 |
| 922 | I think he was busy with a lot of things going on, but he made time to talk to me | 我觉得他忙着很多事情 但他有时间跟我说话 |
| 923 | to get to know me. | 来了解我 |
| 924 | And he seemed like a cool guy. | 他看起来是个很酷的家伙 |
| 925 | And I was like, Oh, this would be cool if he was | 我当时就想,哦,如果他是... |
| 926 | my dad. | 我的父亲。 |
| 927 | Like he seemed, I wasn't looking for a father figure. | 就像他看起来,我不是在找一个父亲 |
| 928 | I never was looking for a father | 我从来没有找过父亲 |
| 929 | figure. | 数字。 |
| 930 | I just wanted to know who my biological father was because I was interested in knowing | 我只是想知道我的生父是谁 因为我有兴趣知道 |
| 931 | what he looks like, what his genetics are, what his personality is like. | 他的长相,他的遗传学,他的个性是什么样. |
| 932 | Cause I would like to | 因为我想 |
| 933 | know who my biological father is so that I can see how we compare what we have in common, | 知道我的亲生父亲是谁 这样我就能看见我们如何比较 我们的共同点 |
| 934 | what things I might get from him. | 我可能从他那里得到什么 |
| 935 | I think that's interesting. | 我认为这很有趣。 |
| 936 | I mean, who, who wouldn't know, | 我的意思是,谁,谁不知道, |
| 937 | who wouldn't want to know who their biological parents are, right? | 谁不想知道他们的亲生父母是谁? |
| 938 | Just out of curiosity. | 出于好奇 |
| 939 | But I | 不过 |
| 940 | wasn't looking to like live with him or move to where he is or like, I don't know. | 不想和他住在一起 或者搬到他现在或喜欢的地方 我不知道 |
| 941 | And so | 这样 |
| 942 | finally we, we, he ordered a paternity test. | 最后我们,我们,我们, 他命令一个父子关系测试。 |
| 943 | And so how it works is it's like through the mail. | 因此,它是如何工作的,就像通过邮件。 |
| 944 | So they sent me a little test. | 所以他们送我一个小测试。 |
| 945 | So I take a swab of my saliva or whatever, and I mail it, mail it | 所以我拿我的唾液什么的, 我邮寄,邮寄 |
| 946 | out. | 出来。 |
| 947 | And so we did that kind of a thing because we were living in different places. | 所以我们做了这种事情,因为我们生活在不同的地方。 |
| 948 | And then finally | 终于 |
| 949 | we got the result and it was negative, which means he, he is not my father. | 我们得到了结果,这是负面的, 这意味着他,他不是我父亲。 |
| 950 | And we were both | 我们都是 |
| 951 | very surprised because like I said, my mom never gave me another name. | 非常惊讶,因为就像我说的, 我妈妈从来没有给我另一个名字。 |
| 952 | So I don't, I didn't know, | 所以我没有,我不知道, |
| 953 | if it's not him, who would it be? | 如果不是他,那会是谁? |
| 954 | Everybody was shocked. | 每个人都很震惊。 |
| 955 | My aunt, my grandma, like everybody was | 我阿姨,我奶奶,就像大家一样 |
| 956 | like, I don't believe that. | 喜欢,我不相信。 |
| 957 | To this day, I think my aunt and grandma think that he somehow faked it | 直到今天,我觉得我姑妈和奶奶都认为他伪造了 |
| 958 | or they think that he faked the test or he did something to, to mess it up. | 或者他们认为他伪造了测试 或者他做了一些事情 搞砸了它。 |
| 959 | But they never really | 但是他们从来没有真正 |
| 960 | talked to him. | 跟他谈过了 |
| 961 | I talked to him for months. | 我跟他谈了几个月 |
| 962 | Yes, I was 16 years old and you never know. | 是的,当时我16岁,你永远不知道。 |
| 963 | Somebody | 有人吗? |
| 964 | might seem like a honest person and then they're really not. | 也许看起来是个诚实的人 然后他们真的不是 |
| 965 | I don't think he faked it. | 我不认为他伪造的。 |
| 966 | They think | 他们觉得 |
| 967 | he faked it. | 他伪造的 |
| 968 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 969 | But he seemed very surprised by the result. | 但他似乎对结果非常惊讶. |
| 970 | And so he decided to | 所以他决定 |
| 971 | order another one and it wasn't cheap. | 再点一个,不便宜 |
| 972 | It was kind of expensive. | 有点贵 |
| 973 | He ordered another one because he | 他又订了一张,因为他 |
| 974 | just, he didn't believe the result. | 只是他不相信结果 |
| 975 | That's what he said. | 他就是这么说的 |
| 976 | And so we took another one, came back | 于是我们又拿了一张回来 |
| 977 | negative. | 负. |
| 978 | So at this point, it's kind of like, you just have to accept this guy is not your father | 所以,现在,这有点像, 你只需要接受这家伙不是你爸爸 |
| 979 | unless you're my aunt or my grandma. | 除非你是我姨妈或祖母 |
| 980 | They still think he is. | 他们仍然认为他是。 |
| 981 | They think he faked it. | 他们认为是他伪造的 |
| 982 | I think they're | 我想他们是 |
| 983 | in denial and they just, no, I don't really know if they still think that. | 在否认,他们只是, 不,我真的不知道 如果他们仍然认为。 |
| 984 | But yeah, I think they | 但是,我想他们 |
| 985 | just didn't want to accept that my mom had many partners at the time and she was not doing well. | 只是不想接受我妈妈当时有很多搭档 而她表现不好 |
| 986 | And she, yeah, there's more than just two options of who my father is. | 她,是的,有不止两个选择 谁是我父亲。 |
| 987 | But I can accept, I believe it. | 但我可以接受,我相信这一点。 |
| 988 | And so, yeah, so it was a little sad because I think even this guy, Vincent, he was like a little, | 所以,是的,所以它有点悲伤 因为我认为即使这个人,文森特, 他就像一点点, |
| 989 | seemed a little disappointed that he's not my father because he'd been talking to me for months | 他好像有点失望,他不是我父亲 因为他已经跟我说话好几个月了 |
| 990 | and he thought we had a lot in common. | 他认为我们有很多共同点 |
| 991 | And I think he was a little disappointed, but he was like, | 我觉得他有点失望, 但他喜欢, |
| 992 | okay, well, life goes on. | 好了,好了,生活继续。 |
| 993 | But he was a nice guy and I never, I never got any sign. | 但他是个好人,我从来没有,我没有任何迹象。 |
| 994 | I never felt | 我从来没有感觉 |
| 995 | any sign of like shadiness, like not being a genuine person, like lying or not having good | 任何像阴暗的征兆, 像不是一个真正的人, 像说谎或没有好 |
| 996 | intentions or I never felt that. | 或者我从未感觉到 |
| 997 | I felt like he was very genuine. | 我觉得他很真诚 |
| 998 | So that happened with Vincent. | 文森特就是这样 |
| 999 | So here I am. | 所以我在这里。 |
| 1000 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1001 | William's not my father. | 威廉不是我父亲 |
| 1002 | Vincent's not my father. | 文森特不是我父亲 |
| 1003 | Who is it? | 是谁? |
| 1004 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1005 | Nobody has any names. | 没人知道名字 |
| 1006 | Only my mom would know. | 只有我妈知道 |
| 1007 | This is what I thought. | 这就是我的想法。 |
| 1008 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1009 | Nobody's saying anything. | 没有人在说什么。 |
| 1010 | So the years go by, like I told you in my last video, I went to Florida | 岁月流逝,就像我上次录影时告诉你的,我去了佛罗里达州 |
| 1011 | for a few years. | 几年时间 |
| 1012 | I moved to Ecuador. | 我搬到了厄瓜多尔。 |
| 1013 | I lived in the Amazon in Ecuador for years. | 我在厄瓜多尔的亚马逊生活了好几年。 |
| 1014 | I didn't go back | 我没有回去 |
| 1015 | to my home state. | 去我的家乡 |
| 1016 | I didn't go back to Maine until 10 years later, until I was 26. | 直到10年后我才回到缅因州,直到26岁. |
| 1017 | I left when I was | 我离开的时候 |
| 1018 | 16. | 16号. |
| 1019 | I went back when I was 26. | 我26岁时回去了 |
| 1020 | That is when I started to try to rekindle my relationships | 那时我开始尝试重燃我的感情 |
| 1021 | with my family members. | 与我家人。 与我的家庭成员。 |
| 1022 | I started to try to like start over, like clean slate. | 我开始尝试重新开始, 像干净的板块。 |
| 1023 | Let's start over. | 让我们重新开始。 |
| 1024 | What happened in the past, what happened in the past, I'm older now, 10 years have gone by. | 过去发生的事情,过去发生的事情,我现在年纪大了,十年过去了. |
| 1025 | I've gone through healing and growing up and you know, I think I've dealt with some of my trauma | 我经历了治疗和成长, 你知道, 我想我已经处理了一些创伤 |
| 1026 | and whatever. | 还有别的什么 |
| 1027 | I understand that we are very different and my family members did a lot of | 我知道我们很不一样 我的家人做了很多 |
| 1028 | But you know, everybody is living for the first time. | 但你知道 每个人都是第一次活着 |
| 1029 | Everybody is living for the first time | 每个人都是第一次活着 |
| 1030 | in this life, in their current body. | 在他们现在的身体里 |
| 1031 | Even if you believe in reincarnation, everybody | 即使你相信转世,每个人 |
| 1032 | was born very recently, at least in this lifetime. | 出生于最近,至少在这一辈子。 |
| 1033 | And so we all are just trying to figure out life | 所以,我们都在试图 找出生活 |
| 1034 | as we go and we all have different experiences and we all make different decisions and think | 当我们去,我们都有不同的经历, 我们都做出不同的决定和思考 |
| 1035 | differently and whatever. | 不同或别的 |
| 1036 | So I'll never forget things, but I forgive my family for everything | 所以我永远不会忘记一切 但我原谅我的家人 |
| 1037 | that they ever did that I didn't like or hurt me or whatever. | 他们做了我不喜欢或伤害我什么的。 |
| 1038 | There's so much more to the story, | 故事还有很多 |
| 1039 | obviously, of my childhood that I didn't share because that's not what this video is about. | 显然,我的童年,我没有分享 因为这不是这个视频的内容。 |
| 1040 | But I had a pretty good childhood in some ways, but in other ways, I had a pretty rough time. | 但我的童年在有些方面相当不错, 但在其他方面,我度过了相当艰难的时光。 |
| 1041 | Childhood was very hard for me. | 童年对我来说非常艰难。 |
| 1042 | I don't, for a second, wish I could be a kid again. | 我不,一秒钟, 希望我可以再次成为一个孩子。 |
| 1043 | You know | 你知道吗 |
| 1044 | how some adults wish that they could be a kid again? | 一些成年人希望他们能再次成为孩子? |
| 1045 | I don't wish that for a second. | 我并不想那样 |
| 1046 | The freedom | 自由 |
| 1047 | that I have as an adult, the peace that I have as an adult that I couldn't get as a child, | 作为成年人,我拥有的安宁 作为成年人,我无法得到 作为一个孩子, |
| 1048 | there are no words. | 没有字。 |
| 1049 | I felt like a prisoner as a child. | 我小时候感觉像个囚犯 |
| 1050 | I felt like I was forced to live with | 我觉得我被迫与 |
| 1051 | people and live in a certain way that I didn't want. | 以我所不希望的方式生活 |
| 1052 | I struggled a lot in my childhood and I | 我童年时经常挣扎 |
| 1053 | went through a lot and I needed those 10 years. | 经历了很多,我需要那10年。 |
| 1054 | I needed those four years in the Amazon to just | 我需要在亚马逊的四年时间 |
| 1055 | scream into the jungle and sleep in the jungle. | 尖叫进入丛林 睡在丛林里 |
| 1056 | So the years went by and at 26 years old, I went | 26岁时,我去了 |
| 1057 | back. | 回来 |
| 1058 | I did a big family visit and I gave everybody a fresh chance. | 我做了一个很大的探亲 我给了每个人一个新的机会。 |
| 1059 | Now I'm 28. | 现在我28岁了 |
| 1060 | I'm turning | 我要转身了 |
| 1061 | 28 this month. | 本月28号 |
| 1062 | I think I have a good relationship with everybody except William. | 我和除了威廉以外的人的关系很好 |
| 1063 | I'm not going to | 我不会 |
| 1064 | get into this too much, but all I can say is I tried. | 太多事了 但我只能说 我尽力了 |
| 1065 | I tried to give William another chance, | 我试图给威廉另一个机会, |
| 1066 | a clean slate like I gave everybody else. | 就像我给其他人一样 |
| 1067 | My stepdad, my stepmom, my aunt, my grandma. | 我的继父 我的继母 我姨妈 我奶奶 |
| 1068 | Hey, nice to meet you. | 嘿,很高兴见到你。 |
| 1069 | Let's start over. | 让我们重新开始。 |
| 1070 | I did. | 没错 |
| 1071 | I really tried, but I tried to talk to him | 我真的试过了,但是我想跟他谈谈 |
| 1072 | on the phone. | 在电话。 |
| 1073 | I even tried to hang out with him in person and I just couldn't do it. | 我甚至想亲自和他出去玩 但我做不到 |
| 1074 | I tried and I | 我试过,我 |
| 1075 | realized that as a kid, I felt forced. | 我小时候感觉很强迫 |
| 1076 | I felt pressured to hang out with this person, to talk | 我感到压力 和这个人在一起 聊天 |
| 1077 | to this person, whatever, to have this person in my life. | 这个人,不管怎样, 拥有这个人在我的生活中。 |
| 1078 | And I don't want to, as an adult, | 我不想,作为一个成年人, |
| 1079 | continue that pressure, continue to pressure myself or to let other people pressure me to | 继续施压 继续施压 或让别人施压 |
| 1080 | maintain a relationship with this person that I don't want in my life. | 和这个人保持一段我生活所不希望的关系 |
| 1081 | So I made the decision | 所以我决定了 |
| 1082 | to cut ties with William, not because he's not my father, but because of our relationship or | 不是因为他不是我父亲 而是因为我们的关系 |
| 1083 | lack thereof. | 没有。 |
| 1084 | He's just someone that I don't want to talk to. | 他只是一个我不想和他说话的人 |
| 1085 | I don't want to hang out with. | 我不想和他们在一起 |
| 1086 | He's not all bad. | 他不尽坏. |
| 1087 | Of course, there are good things about him. | 当然,他有好东西。 |
| 1088 | He's not a bad person, necessarily, | 他肯定不是一个坏人 |
| 1089 | but I evaluated all the evidence. | 但我评估了所有的证据 |
| 1090 | I thought about everything, everything that I've ever learned | 我想了一切,我学到的一切 |
| 1091 | about him, seen from him, witnessed and felt. | 关于他,从他那里看见的,是见证和感觉的。 |
| 1092 | And I decided that it's unfortunate. | 我决定这是不幸的。 |
| 1093 | It's unfortunate, | 很遗憾 |
| 1094 | but I need to do what's right for me. | 但我需要做对我做的 |
| 1095 | And it is a privilege to be in my life. | 我很荣幸能进入我的生活 |
| 1096 | And unfortunately for | 很遗憾 |
| 1097 | him, I don't want to give him that privilege. | 我不想给他这种特权 |
| 1098 | So yes, I don't believe this thing that, oh, | 所以,是的, 我不相信这个东西,哦, |
| 1099 | just because they are your parent or your blood family or whatever, just because they were part | 因为他们是你的父母 或你的血族 或什么的, 只是因为他们的一部分 |
| 1100 | of your childhood, you can't cut them off. | 在你的童年, 你不能切断他们。 |
| 1101 | You can't do, you know, I don't believe that. | 你不能这样做,你知道, 我不相信这一点。 |
| 1102 | I don't believe in that. | 不信此义. |
| 1103 | Yeah, that's not what I would teach my children. | 是啊,这不是我会 教我的孩子。 |
| 1104 | And if I have kids, | 如果我有孩子的话 |
| 1105 | I don't want him in their life anyways. | 反正我也不想他进入他们的生活 |
| 1106 | So I made that decision to cut ties with him, to not talk | 所以我决定和他断绝联系,不说话 |
| 1107 | anymore. | 现在。 |
| 1108 | And he probably thinks that a big reason is because he's not my biological father. | 他可能认为一个大原因 因为他不是我的亲生父亲 |
| 1109 | And | 还有 |
| 1110 | that's unfortunate that he probably thinks that because that's not true. | 这很不幸,他可能认为 因为那不是真的。 |
| 1111 | But if that makes him | 但是如果那样他 |
| 1112 | feel better, so he doesn't feel like it's because I don't like him as a person, because that's | 感觉好点了,所以他不觉得 喜欢是因为我不喜欢他作为一个人,因为 |
| 1113 | really what it's about. | 真实的它是什么。 |
| 1114 | I don't like him as a person and I don't want him in my life. | 我不喜欢他作为一个人,我不想他在我的生活中。 |
| 1115 | It's not | 这不是 |
| 1116 | about, you know, so yeah, it's not about being my biological. | 关于,你知道,所以是的, 这不是关于我的生物。 |
| 1117 | It's not about relation. | 这不是关系。 |
| 1118 | My stepdad | 我的继父 |
| 1119 | is not biologically related to me. | 跟我没有生理联系 |
| 1120 | And I, even though my stepdad and I haven't always had the | 而我,虽然我的继父和我 并不总是有 |
| 1121 | best relationship, I want that man to be a part of my life. | 最好的关系, 我希望他成为我生命的一部分。 |
| 1122 | And I will, yeah, I would never, | 我会,是的,我永远不会, |
| 1123 | I would never cut ties with him because I actually enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him. | 我绝对不会和他断绝联系 因为我真的喜欢和他交谈 和他在一起 |
| 1124 | I think he actually adds to my life instead of takes away. | 我认为他实际上增加了我的生活 而不是带走。 |
| 1125 | So it's not about, yeah, same thing | 所以,这不是关于,是的,同一件事 |
| 1126 | with my stepmom. | 我继母。 |
| 1127 | So it's not, it's not about blood, blood relation. | 所以这不是,它不是关于血,血的关系。 |
| 1128 | But anyways, so however | 但无论如何,所以 |
| 1129 | he's processing this is his business. | 他正在处理这是他的生意。 |
| 1130 | I don't know, but I obviously he's probably very upset | 我不知道,但我显然他可能很生气 |
| 1131 | about this. | 关于这个。 |
| 1132 | I sent him a message and that I am ending the relationship. | 我给他发了条信息 我要结束关系 |
| 1133 | And yeah, he he's | 对 他 |
| 1134 | probably very upset about it, emotional, angry, whatever. | 可能很生气,情绪,愤怒,随便什么。 |
| 1135 | And so probably out of desperation and | 可能是因为绝望 |
| 1136 | all this emotion and whatever, he ended up reaching out to my aunt, my, my mom's sister. | 他最后联系了我姑妈 我母亲的妹妹 |
| 1137 | And, you know, they don't talk, but he probably had her number and was like, let me text her. | 而且,你知道,他们不说话, 但他可能有她的电话号码 并喜欢,让我发短信给她。 |
| 1138 | So he texts her and he, he sends her the message that I sent him. | 所以他给她发了短信,然后,他给她发了我给他的信息。 |
| 1139 | And he says, like kind of playing | 他说,就像一种演奏 |
| 1140 | dumb, like, I don't, I don't know what this means. | 我不知道这是什么意思 |
| 1141 | Like, can you help me figure this out? | 你能帮我弄明白吗? |
| 1142 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1143 | my aunt is like, my, my aunt is very, she, yeah, she's just like, it is what it is. | 我姨妈喜欢,我姨妈非常, 她,是的,她只是喜欢,这是它是什么。 |
| 1144 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1145 | she's very logical by the book kind of person. | 她很合乎逻辑的书 那种人。 |
| 1146 | Like, yeah, she, she was just like, | 喜欢,是的,她只是喜欢, |
| 1147 | well, it looks, well, William, it looks pretty, pretty obvious what this is about. | 看起来 威廉 看起来很明显 |
| 1148 | She clearly does not want a relationship with you. | 她显然不想和你谈恋爱 |
| 1149 | So yeah, it's not rocket science. | 所以,这不是火箭科学。 |
| 1150 | And he's like, | 他喜欢, |
| 1151 | okay, yeah, yeah, I, that's what I thought. | 好吧,是啊,是啊,我,这就是我想的。 |
| 1152 | But I wasn't sure. | 但我还不确定 |
| 1153 | And yeah, I mean, I think my aunt, | 是的,我的意思是,我认为我的姨妈, |
| 1154 | my aunt, because she is a mother and she knows, you know, I think she has empathy for him too, | 我姨妈,因为她是母亲 她知道,你知道,我想她也同情他, |
| 1155 | you know, because obviously I empathize with any parent who, whose child does not want a | 你知道,因为很明显我同情 任何父母 谁,谁的孩子不想要一个 |
| 1156 | relationship with them because I know that that hurts. | 和他们的关系,因为我知道那伤害。 |
| 1157 | That probably hurts like crazy. | 这可能像疯狂。 |
| 1158 | But I think that the child is justified. | 但我认为这孩子是有道理的。 |
| 1159 | I think if a child, no matter what their age is, if they, | 我认为,如果一个孩子, 无论他们的年龄, 如果他们, |
| 1160 | well, when they're an adult, if they don't want a relationship with you, even a teenager, if they | 当他们成年了,如果他们不想和你建立关系, 即使是青少年,如果他们 |
| 1161 | don't want a relationship with you, I mean, even any age, even a child. | 不想和你谈恋爱,甚至任何年龄,甚至一个孩子 |
| 1162 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1163 | If no matter the age, | 如果不管年龄 |
| 1164 | if any child does not want a relationship with their parent, it's the parent's fault. | 如果任何孩子不想和他们的父母建立关系,那是父母的错。 |
| 1165 | It's never the child's fault. | 这不是孩子的错。 |
| 1166 | It's the parent's fault because why, why would they not want a | 这是父母的错 因为为什么,他们为什么不想要一个 |
| 1167 | relationship with you? | 和你的关系? |
| 1168 | You know, children want relationships with their parents. | 你知道,孩子想要 与父母的关系。 |
| 1169 | So to get to | 所以,为了得到 |
| 1170 | that point of deciding, nah, it's not worth it. | 这不值得 |
| 1171 | It takes a lot to get to that point. | 说到这一点需要很多时间。 |
| 1172 | So that's on | 所以这是在 |
| 1173 | the parent to spend some time reflecting on how they let it get to that point. | 父母会花一些时间思考 他们是如何让它达到这个地步的 |
| 1174 | It's usually not | 一般不会 |
| 1175 | one thing. | 还有一件事 |
| 1176 | It's usually many things accumulating. | 通常有很多东西在积累. |
| 1177 | So yeah. | 对啊 |
| 1178 | So my aunt probably empathizes with him, | 所以我姨妈可能对他很同情 |
| 1179 | but at the same time is like saying, you know, Lao is totally justified in her decision to, | 但与此同时,就像说,你知道, 老挝是完全有道理的 她的决定, |
| 1180 | to do that. | 这样做。 |
| 1181 | Sucks for you, William, but you know, she can make that decision. | 威廉,你很烂,但她可以做决定 |
| 1182 | And it's not like I made that decision. | 也不是我决定的 |
| 1183 | I gave him so much time, you know, I didn't make that | 我给了他这么多时间,你知道, 我没有做到这一点 |
| 1184 | decision when I was 18 and like just angry and you know, no, I, I waited until I was 27 years old. | 我18岁的时候决定了,就像生气,你知道, 不,我,我等了27岁。 |
| 1185 | I thought about this for a long time. | 我考虑过很久了 |
| 1186 | I gave him many chances and I, yeah, | 我给了他很多机会 我,是的, |
| 1187 | I spent a lot of time thinking about this decision. | 我花了很多时间来考虑这个决定. |
| 1188 | And so it wasn't a hasty decision. | 所以这不是一个仓促的决定。 |
| 1189 | It wasn't a decision made out of, you know, it wasn't a quick decision. | 这不是一个决定,你知道, 这不是一个快速的决定。 |
| 1190 | But so out of all of this | 但是,所有这一切 |
| 1191 | from all of this emotion, intense emotion and anger and frustration and whatever, or I don't | 从所有这些情感, 强烈的情感和愤怒, 挫折等等, 否则我不 |
| 1192 | know if that's the reason or I don't, I don't know, but for whatever reason, for whatever reason, | 如果这就是原因,或者我不这样做, 我不知道,但出于任何理由,出于任何理由, |
| 1193 | William told my aunt that he has two names of two potential fathers, two men that he knows that my | 威廉告诉我姑妈 他有两个名字 两个潜在的父亲,两个男人 他知道我 |
| 1194 | mom was hanging out with, spending time with during the time that I was conceived that could | 妈妈和他在一起, 和我在一起的时间 我被孕育的时候,可以 |
| 1195 | be my father. | 做我父亲吧 |
| 1196 | He told my aunt that he has been sitting on these names for years. | 他告诉我姑妈,他多年来一直坐着这些名字。 |
| 1197 | Basically, | 基本上说 |
| 1198 | since we found out he's not my father, he has known of these two names, these two people, | 自从我们发现他不是我的父亲, 他知道这两个名字,这两个人, |
| 1199 | and he never told me. | 他从来没有告诉我。 |
| 1200 | Over 10 years later, like 11, 12 years later, 11, 12 years have gone by | 十年之后,像11年,12年之后,11年,12年过去了 |
| 1201 | and he never told me, he knew, he knew that I wanted to know who my biological father was. | 他从来没有告诉我,他知道, 他知道我想知道谁是我的生父。 |
| 1202 | He knew that I wanted to know and he never revealed the names until, and maybe he, he would have | 他知道我想知道,他从未透露过名字 直到他,也许他,他会 |
| 1203 | never revealed them until I ended the relationship and then he told my aunt. | 直到我结束关系 他才告诉我姑妈 |
| 1204 | That's a good example of how problematic he is, selfish, egotistical, you know. | 这是一个很好的例子,证明他有多问题,自私,自私自利,你知道的。 |
| 1205 | I understand that | 我理解你的话 |
| 1206 | he wanted to be my father, he didn't want somebody else to be, but to hold, to guard that information, | 他想做我父亲,他不想让别人做,而是要守住这个消息, |
| 1207 | the ego, the selfishness, and that's the kind of person he is. | 自我,自私, 这就是他的那种人。 |
| 1208 | Like that's, there's many examples | 就像那样,有很多例子 |
| 1209 | of this, you know, him not listening to me, forcing me to, no, you need to live with me, | 你知道,他不听我的, 强迫我,不,你需要和我一起生活, |
| 1210 | it's all ego, it's all selfishness. | 都是自负,都是自私 |
| 1211 | Even his political views, even his, everything, you know, | 甚至他的政治观点 甚至他的一切 |
| 1212 | he posts on Facebook, all the propaganda he believes, all the media he believes, everything he, | 他在脸书上贴了 他相信的所有宣传 他相信的媒体 |
| 1213 | everything he thinks and does, I swear, is from having an inflated ego. | 我发誓,他所想和做的事 都是因为自负过度 |
| 1214 | That's all those people | 就是这些人 |
| 1215 | that think that we should be deporting immigrants and ego, giant ego. | 认为我们应该驱逐 移民和自我,巨大的自我。 |
| 1216 | Their life sucks. | 他们的生活很糟 |
| 1217 | They don't know why it sucks. | 他们不知道为什么它很烂。 |
| 1218 | They want, they feel powerless in their life. | 他们想要,他们觉得生活中无能为力。 |
| 1219 | They want to blame other | 他们想怪别人 |
| 1220 | people for their problems. | 人们为自己的问题。 |
| 1221 | They want to control other people and other people's lives. | 他们想控制别人和其他人的生活. |
| 1222 | It's all | 没事 |
| 1223 | ego. | 自我主义。 |
| 1224 | Look at who they elected. | 看看他们选谁 |
| 1225 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1226 | He is the king of ego. | 他是自负的国王。 |
| 1227 | The president of the United | 美国总统 |
| 1228 | States is the ego king. | 国家是自大之王。 |
| 1229 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1230 | So it's an inflated ego, not being able to check yourself, | 因此,这是一个膨胀的自我, 无法检查自己, |
| 1231 | not being able to see your place, not being able to see how you create your problems. | 无法看到你的位置, 无法看到你如何制造你的问题。 |
| 1232 | You are responsible for your problems, generally. | 一般来说,你对自己的问题负责。 |
| 1233 | And yeah, I mean, he probably blames me for not | 是的,我的意思是,他可能 怪我没有 |
| 1234 | wanting to have a relationship with him, but it's his fault, you know? | 想要和他建立关系, 但这是他的错,你知道吗? |
| 1235 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1236 | People not being able | 无法做到的人 |
| 1237 | to take accountability. | 负责。 |
| 1238 | This man, William, he has two, he is a felon because he has two domestic | 这个男人,威廉,他有两个,他是一个重罪 因为他有两个家庭 |
| 1239 | violence charges from his interactions with his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, someone, two. | 他与前妻或前女友的交往中的暴力指控,某人,两人. |
| 1240 | Now, | 现在, |
| 1241 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1242 | I don't know if this man ever laid a finger on someone. | 我不知道这个人有没有碰过别人 |
| 1243 | Maybe he did. | 也许他做到了。 |
| 1244 | Maybe he didn't. | 也许他没有 |
| 1245 | I never thought that William was physically abusive. | 我从来没想过威廉在虐待别人 |
| 1246 | I never thought that he would be | 我从未想过他会 |
| 1247 | charged with domestic violence. | 被控家庭暴力。 |
| 1248 | He never was toward me. | 他从来没有对我。 |
| 1249 | I never witnessed that. | 我从来没亲眼见过 |
| 1250 | I never heard | 我从来没听说过 |
| 1251 | that from my mom, from my stepmom, who were in a relationship with him for many years. | 从我妈妈, 从我的继母, 谁与他多年的关系。 |
| 1252 | So I never | 所以我从来没有 |
| 1253 | thought that he was that kind of person. | 以为他是那种人 |
| 1254 | I still don't think he's that kind of person. | 我还是觉得他不是那种人 |
| 1255 | But in order | 但按顺序 |
| 1256 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你必须得学会教训 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你必须学会 | |
| 1257 | the first time, go back and disrespect someone again. | 第一次,回去再不尊重别人 |
| 1258 | Even if you didn't touch them, you get the | 即使你没有碰他们,你得到 |
| 1259 | second one by having an inflated ego, thinking that you have the right to go bother someone, | 第二,因为有 膨胀的自负, 认为你有权利去打扰某人, |
| 1260 | even if you're just verbally, whatever, fighting with them, whatever. | 即使你只是口头上,什么的, 与他们战斗,什么的。 |
| 1261 | It's the ego. | 这是自负。 |
| 1262 | It's not | 这不是 |
| 1263 | understand, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, not being humble, | 明,不卑,不卑,不卑,不卑. ...... |
| 1264 | by your first charge and thinking that you have the right to go bother a woman again. | 想到你有权再去骚扰一个女人 |
| 1265 | And yeah, he went to jail for a month for that. | 他为此入狱一个月 |
| 1266 | Probably should have been longer. | 也许应该更久些 |
| 1267 | And yeah, then he had this grand awakening and stopped drinking alcohol and | 对 然后他醒了 戒了酒 |
| 1268 | stopped being in relationships and seemed like his life was getting better and I'm happy for him. | 不再有关系了 似乎他的生活越来越好 我为他感到高兴 |
| 1269 | But I don't know, it's not enough. | 但我不知道,这还不够。 |
| 1270 | It's not enough to make him the type of person that I want to hang | 这不足以让他成为我想要绞死的人 |
| 1271 | out with. | 出来。 |
| 1272 | And yeah, that one day I hung out with him, it was bad. | 是啊,有一天我和他在一起,这是不好的。 |
| 1273 | Okay, anyways, so that's that. | 好吧,无论如何,所以这就是。 |
| 1274 | That's the story of, I don't know who my biological father is. | 故事是这样的 我不知道我的亲生父亲是谁 |
| 1275 | The names that he gave to my aunt, | 他给我姑妈的名字 |
| 1276 | I have the names, but now it's so late. | 我有名字,但现在太晚了。 |
| 1277 | It's so late that I don't care anymore. | 今已迟至不思议. |
| 1278 | I could try to | 我可以试着 |
| 1279 | contact to find these people. | 找到这些人 |
| 1280 | Now that I have the names, I know the states that they lived in. | 现在我有了名字 我知道他们住的州 |
| 1281 | I can't even be bothered. | 我甚至不会被打扰。 |
| 1282 | I don't even care anymore. | 我已经不在乎了 |
| 1283 | I'm not concerned. | 我不担心。 |
| 1284 | Maybe I'll do it | 也许我会做 |
| 1285 | someday. | 总有一天 |
| 1286 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1287 | I should probably do it sooner than later. | 我也许应该早点做 |
| 1288 | They might die if I wait too | 我等他们也会死 |
| 1289 | long. | 长。 |
| 1290 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1291 | But I don't know. | 却不知. |
| 1292 | At this point, I'm just like, why? | 此时此刻,我只是喜欢,为什么? |
| 1293 | So I can see a picture, | 这样我才能看到一张照片 |
| 1294 | so I can see what they look like. | 这样我就能看清他们的样子 |
| 1295 | Yeah, I'm curious. | 对,我很好奇 |
| 1296 | I still want to know, but I don't know | 我还是想知道,但我不知道 |
| 1297 | I want to put in the effort to try to find who these guys are. | 我想努力找到这些人 |
| 1298 | And then not only would I have | 我不仅会 |
| 1299 | to find them, we'd have to do a paternity test. | 为了找到他们,我们得做个亲子鉴定 |
| 1300 | And I don't even live in the United States. | 我甚至不 住在美国。 |
| 1301 | And | 还有 |
| 1302 | I don't want to do all that. | 我不想做这一切。 |
| 1303 | I don't want to do paternity tests again. | 我不想再做亲子鉴定了 |
| 1304 | I don't want to. | 我不想这样 |
| 1305 | It's like, | 这就像, |
| 1306 | I just don't care. | 我只是不关心。 |
| 1307 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 1308 | So I've just accepted that I don't know who my biological | 所以我刚刚接受了 我不知道我的生物 |
| 1309 | father is. | 父亲是。 |
| 1310 | And I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1311 | I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1312 | And I'm okay with that. | 我不介意这样 |
| 1313 | Because that's what I thought it was. | 因为这就是我想的 |
| 1314 | I already accepted that before he told me the names, | 我已经接受了 在他告诉我名字之前 |
| 1315 | told my aunt the names. | 告诉了我阿姨名字 |
| 1316 | So I kind of feel like an orphan because my mom died and I don't know who | 所以我有点像孤儿 因为我妈妈死了 我不知道是谁 |
| 1317 | my biological father is. | 我的亲生父亲是。 |
| 1318 | And I don't want to have a relationship with William. | 我不想和威廉发生关系 |
| 1319 | But that's my choice. | 但这是我的选择 |
| 1320 | And I have my stepmom, my stepdad, my aunt, my brother, my grandma. | 还有继母,继父,姨妈,弟弟,奶奶 |
| 1321 | And I'm happy with those | 我很高兴这些 |
| 1322 | family relationships that I have. | 我有过的家庭关系。 |
| 1323 | I'm happy with that. | 我很高兴。 |
| 1324 | I feel good with that. | 我觉得很好。 |
| 1325 | And yeah. | 对 |
| 1326 | So I just | 所以,我刚刚 |
| 1327 | wanted to share this story because I don't know. | 我想分享这个故事,因为我不知道。 |
| 1328 | I think it's an interesting story and you could | 我认为这是一个有趣的故事 你可以 |
| 1329 | probably learn a lot of English from it. | 可能从中学习了很多英语. |
| 1330 | And I've never really told the whole story from beginning | 我从来没有真正说 整个故事从一开始 |
| 1331 | to end like that with the latest updated details as well. | 以最新的细节结束。 |
| 1332 | Because I just got the names. | 因为我刚拿到名字 |
| 1333 | Like my | 就像我的一样 |
| 1334 | aunt just texted me like a month ago or something the names. | 阿姨刚发短信给我 就像一个月前什么的 名字。 |
| 1335 | So this is new. | 所以这是新的。 |
| 1336 | This is some news. | 这是新闻 |
| 1337 | So yeah, I've never told the whole story like this from beginning to end all in one go. | 所以,是的,我从来没有讲 整个故事像这样 从开始到结束 在一个去。 |
| 1338 | So I | 所以说 |
| 1339 | kind of wanted to do it. | 那种想做到这一点。 |
| 1340 | And yeah, it feels good. | 是的,感觉很好 |
| 1341 | And yeah, hopefully it wasn't too boring or slow. | 是的,希望它不是太无聊或慢。 |
| 1342 | But it was real. | 但这是真的 |
| 1343 | And that's the point of these kinds of videos. | 这就是这些视频的要点。 |
| 1344 | And if you don't like these kinds | 如果你不喜欢这些种类 |
| 1345 | of videos, well, I think if you've made it to the end, you probably like this kind of video. | 视频,嗯,我想如果你已经做到了它 结尾,你可能喜欢这种视频。 |
| 1346 | But if | 不过如果 |
| 1347 | I probably should have said this at the beginning, but if you don't like it, I will make other | 我本该在开头说这个的 但如果你不喜欢 我会做别的 |
| 1348 | videos like more English teaching style also. | 更多英语教学风格的视频。 |
| 1349 | But I wanted to make some kind of podcast style | 但我想制作一种播客风格 |
| 1350 | videos. | 视频。 |
| 1351 | And a lot of people seem to like it. | 很多人似乎都很喜欢 |
| 1352 | So once again, all of you who are telling me that | 再说一遍,你们都告诉我 |
| 1353 | you really appreciate and enjoy this format, this kind of video, and you like the stories, | 你真的很欣赏和欣赏这种格式, 这种视频, 你喜欢的故事, |
| 1354 | the story time in English, I am happy to provide. | 用英语讲故事的时间,我很乐意提供。 |
| 1355 | And once again, I'm sorry about the noise. | 再说一遍,我对噪音感到抱歉 |
| 1356 | If you hear noises, I'm sure you do because yeah, main road in Lima and people are a lot, | 如果你听到声音,我相信你这样做,因为 是的,利马的主要道路和人们是很多, |
| 1357 | people are honking like crazy. | 人们的鸣叫像疯了。 |
| 1358 | So much honking backing up big trucks. | 这么多的喇叭备份 大卡车。 |
| 1359 | I don't know why it's so | 我不知道为什么 |
| 1360 | loud right here, but it is. | 这里声音很大,但确实如此。 |
| 1361 | And the windows, it's the noise is coming from behind is because | 窗户,是来自后面的噪音,因为 |
| 1362 | over there is like a kitchen and there's there's windows that are like really thin and they don't | 那边就像厨房 那里有窗子,好像很薄 |
| 1363 | really fully shut like well. | 完全关闭,就像很好。 |
| 1364 | There's like and they're just they're too thin. | 好像他们太瘦了 |
| 1365 | And yeah, there's | 是的,这是 |
| 1366 | just there's a there's a main road over there. | 那边有条主干道 |
| 1367 | Can you hear that? | 你能听到吗? |
| 1368 | It's like so much honking. | 这就像这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1369 | I'm like now it's probably starting to get into rush hour, but yeah, so much honking. | 就像现在它可能 开始进入高峰时间, 但是是的,这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1370 | OK, anyways, thank you for watching. | 好吧,无论如何,谢谢你的观看。 |
| 1371 | Thank you for listening. | 谢谢你的聆听 |
| 1372 | I appreciate you so much. | 非常感谢你 |
| 1373 | And | 还有 |
| 1374 | yeah, overall, I'm happy with my life. | 是啊,总的来说,我很高兴我的生活。 |
| 1375 | And despite, you know, everything that happened | 虽然,你知道, 发生的一切 |
| 1376 | and everything that that I told you, I'm doing I'm doing well. | 和所有我告诉你, 我做得很好。 |
| 1377 | You know, it's been like 14 years | 你知道,这就像14年 |
| 1378 | almost since my mom died. | 几乎从我妈妈死后 |
| 1379 | I don't regret cutting ties with William. | 我不后悔和威廉断绝关系 |
| 1380 | Like I said, | 就像我说的, |
| 1381 | I have a great relationship with the with other family members. | 我和其他家庭成员的关系很好 |
| 1382 | Overall, I'm doing good. | 总的来说,我做得很好。 |
| 1383 | I'm happy, | 我很高兴 |
| 1384 | happy with my life and myself. | 与我的生活和我自己快乐。 |
| 1385 | And yeah, and I hope you are to wherever you are. | 是的,我希望你能去任何地方。 |
| 1386 | And if you're not, | 如果你没有 |
| 1387 | that's OK, too. | 也没关系 |
| 1388 | You don't have to be happy with it. | 不须欢喜. |
| 1389 | We learn a lot from the struggles that we go | 我们从斗争中学到很多东西 |
| 1390 | through. | 通过。 |
| 1391 | And I hope that I inspired someone to I hope to inspire people to to set boundaries. | 我希望我激励别人,希望我激励人们 划定界限。 |
| 1392 | You know, I notice a lot of people struggle to set boundaries. | 我注意到很多人都在挣扎着去划定界限 |
| 1393 | I think I'm very good at that. | 我觉得我很擅长这个 |
| 1394 | I think a lot of people have a hard time setting boundaries with family members. | 我认为很多人很难与家人建立界限。 |
| 1395 | I am the type of person who always sets boundaries. | 我是那种总能划定界限的人 |
| 1396 | You know, my family knows they have | 你知道,我的家人知道他们有 |
| 1397 | to treat me with a certain level of respect now that I'm an adult. | 以某种程度的尊敬对待我 现在我是成年人了。 |
| 1398 | And yeah, I won't even | 是啊,我甚至不会 |
| 1399 | even before I was an adult, I wouldn't tolerate it. | 甚至在我成年之前 我也不会容忍 |
| 1400 | You know, I used to say, OK, well, then I | 你知道,我曾经说, 好吧,好吧,然后我 |
| 1401 | don't like you and I'm not going to talk to you. | 我不喜欢你,我不会跟你说话。 |
| 1402 | I've always been that way because, yeah, I just | 我总是这样,因为,是的,我只是 |
| 1403 | we are people. | 我们是人。 |
| 1404 | It doesn't matter that we are younger than you. | 我们比你年轻不重要 |
| 1405 | We are people. | 我们是人。 |
| 1406 | We | 我们 |
| 1407 | deserve to be respected. | 应受到尊重。 |
| 1408 | And yeah, don't settle. | 是的,不要解决。 |
| 1409 | Don't settle for bad treatment. | 别因治疗不当而安顿. |
| 1410 | It is a privilege to be in your life. | 我很荣幸能进入你的生活 |
| 1411 | It is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 1412 | It's not a right. | 谓非权. |
| 1413 | Remember that. | 记住这一点。 |
| 1414 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 1415 | Take care. | 小心点 |
| 1416 | I'll see you in the next one. | 后一见. |
| 1417 | Have a nice day. | 祝你们愉快 |
| 1418 | Bye bye. | 再见 |
该视频共有字幕 1422 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P3 · 【英语播客】我的父亲身份成谜 p03 无字幕 (P3)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 0:07 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 0:08 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 0:14 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 0:17 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 0:18 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud. | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 声音很大 |
| 0:22 | So I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 0:24 | This month we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月我们只得应付噪音. |
| 0:27 | You guys say that you don't | 你们说你们不会 |
| 0:28 | really hear a lot of the noise. | 真的听到很多声音。 |
展开字幕全文（1437 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hello everyone, welcome to episode number two of my new video podcast series. | 大家好 欢迎收看第二集 我的新视频播客系列。 |
| 2 | I am in Lima, Peru. | 我在秘鲁利马。 |
| 3 | I just got here a few days ago and I'm in my apartment, which is nice, | 我几天前刚到这里,我在我的公寓,这是很好的, |
| 4 | very nice, but it is very noisy. | 很不错,但很吵 |
| 5 | I'm very close. | 我非常亲近。 |
| 6 | I'm right next to a main street and it's very loud. | 我就在一条主要街道旁边 声音很大 |
| 7 | So I'm sorry. | 所以,对不起。 |
| 8 | This month we're just going to have to deal with the noise. | 这个月我们只得应付噪音. |
| 9 | You guys say that you don't | 你们说你们不会 |
| 10 | really hear a lot of the noise. | 真的听到很多声音。 |
| 11 | That's great. | 赞曰. |
| 12 | I try to minimize it in the audio editing, but | 我试图在音频编辑中尽量减少它,但 |
| 13 | because this place is so loud, it's even louder than the last place in Medellin, I think that | 因为这地方太吵了 比麦德林的最后一个地方还响 |
| 14 | you will hear some of the noises. | 你会听到一些噪音。 |
| 15 | So I'm sorry about that, but that's just the reality of | 所以,我很抱歉,但这只是现实 |
| 16 | living in a city and living in a place. | 住在一个城市,住在一个地方。 |
| 17 | Before I booked an apartment, I don't know how loud | 在订公寓之前,我不知道有多大声 |
| 18 | it's going to be, how quiet. | 它会是,多么安静。 |
| 19 | I thought this place would be quieter, but yeah, that's just life. | 我以为这个地方会比较安静, 但是啊,这只是生活。 |
| 20 | So I think it helps if you don't use headphones. | 所以我觉得如果你不使用耳机会有所帮助。 |
| 21 | If you want to use headphones, that's fine, | 如果你想用耳机, 没关系, |
| 22 | but if you don't use headphones, I think you don't hear as much of the background noise, but | 但是如果你不使用耳机, 我想你没有听到 太多的背景噪音,但 |
| 23 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 24 | But I like using headphones when I listen to stuff. | 但我喜欢听东西的时候用耳机 |
| 25 | So yeah, you do what you want. | 所以,是的,你做你想做的。 |
| 26 | But anyways, if you're new to my new style of making videos, if you didn't watch the last | 但是无论如何,如果你是新颖的 我的新风格制作视频, 如果你没有看最后一个 |
| 27 | episode where I talked about my four years in the Amazon, in Ecuador, living in the Amazon. | 讲述我在亚马逊的四年生活, |
| 28 | By the way, thank you to everybody who commented on that video, who said they love it. | 顺便说一下,谢谢大家 对这段视频的评论, 谁说他们喜欢它。 |
| 29 | They want | 他们想要 |
| 30 | more videos like this, long style, long format stories from my life. | 更多这样的视频, 长风格,长格式的故事 从我的生活。 |
| 31 | That really encourages me | 这真的鼓励了我 |
| 32 | and I'm really happy about that. | 我真的很高兴 |
| 33 | So thank you so much for the support. | 所以,非常感谢你的支持。 |
| 34 | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| 35 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 36 | So if you didn't watch that food video, basically my new style is just recording myself | 所以,如果你没有看 食物视频,基本上 我的新风格只是录制我自己 |
| 37 | talking for a while. | 聊一会 |
| 38 | Some videos are going to be like just podcasts, just like this, just talking | 有些视频会像播客一样 像这样 说话 |
| 39 | from my mind. | 从我的脑海。 |
| 40 | Some are going to be more like typical English teaching videos that I do, | 有些人会更像 典型的英语教学视频 我做, |
| 41 | but the difference is that I'm not going to be editing because I always film myself for a long | 但不同之处在于 我不会被剪辑 因为我总是拍摄自己很长一段时间 |
| 42 | time and then I edit it and I get rid of everything to make it like super fast and jumpy and to hold | 时间,然后我编辑它,我摆脱一切 使它像超级快速, 狂躁和持有 |
| 43 | your attention. | 请注意 |
| 44 | And then I end up wasting a lot of my time and energy doing that. | 最后我浪费了我很多时间和精力 |
| 45 | And then you guys | 然后你们 |
| 46 | get even less material, less content to improve your English. | 获得更少的材料, 更少的内容来改进你的英语。 |
| 47 | So I think it's good for you to be | 所以我觉得这样对你有好处 |
| 48 | exposed to real English without all the cuts, the artificial cuts. | 接触到真正的英语 没有所有的切,人工切。 |
| 49 | I think it's good for you to hear | 我想这对你有好处 |
| 50 | every time I say, um, and every time I say, um, but yeah, so cause you know, I do that a lot, | 每次我说,嗯, 每次我说,嗯,但 是的,所以你知道, 我做很多, |
| 51 | but that's real life. | 但这是真实的生活。 |
| 52 | That's real speaking. | 这是真的说话。 |
| 53 | It's important to hear the real breathing, | 听到真正的呼吸声很重要 |
| 54 | the real speed, the real rhythm, everything, because that's, that's real life. | 真正的速度,真正的节奏,一切, 因为,这就是真正的生活。 |
| 55 | If you really | 如果你真的这样 |
| 56 | want to learn a language, that's what it is. | 想学习一种语言,这就是它是什么。 |
| 57 | And if you don't like it or whatever, if you want to | 如果你不喜欢什么的, 如果你想 |
| 58 | change anything, you can always increase, you can increase, or you can decrease the speed of the | 改变任何东西,你总是可以增加,你可以增加,或者你可以降低速度 |
| 59 | video, um, on YouTube, you can always do that. | 视频,嗯,在YouTube上, 你可以永远做到这一点。 |
| 60 | And you can always also turn on the captions. | 你也可以打开字幕。 |
| 61 | So | 这么说 |
| 62 | if you want to know what I'm saying and you don't, you don't know based off listening to what I said | 如果你想知道我在说什么,你不知道,你不知道基于 倾听我的话 |
| 63 | and you want to see the words, you can turn on the captions and yeah, you can use those resources | 你想看字,你可以打开 标题,是的,你可以使用这些资源 |
| 64 | for studying English, for learning English, whatever I don't say that you're like, no, sorry, | 学习英语,学习英语, 无论我说什么,你喜欢,不,对不起, |
| 65 | whatever I say. | 随便我怎么说 |
| 66 | And you're like, what was that? | 你长什么样? |
| 67 | What did she say? | 她说什么? |
| 68 | You could just turn on the | 你可以打开 |
| 69 | captions, go back and you'll see what it is. | 标题,回去,你会看到是什么。 |
| 70 | Hopefully, unless the captions are not very | 希望,除非标题不太 |
| 71 | accurate, but I think they are most of the time. | 准确的,但我想他们大部分时间。 |
| 72 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 73 | Um, so today I have another very | 嗯,所以今天我有另一个非常 |
| 74 | personal story for you, uh, from my life. | 为你写的个人故事,呃,从我的生活。 |
| 75 | So basically I'm going to be talking about | 所以,基本上我要去谈论 |
| 76 | why my biological father is unknown. | 为什么我的亲生父亲不知道 |
| 77 | So for it to tell you the story, I need to start back | 因此,为了告诉你这个故事,我需要从头开始 |
| 78 | at the beginning. | 在开始。 |
| 79 | Um, by the way, uh, I consider myself to be an open book, so I don't have an | 嗯,顺便说一句,我认为自己是一本公开的书, 所以我没有一本 |
| 80 | issue with sharing a lot of personal things about myself. | 和很多关于我个人的事情 |
| 81 | Obviously I don't share every single | 显然,我不分享每一个 |
| 82 | personal detail. | 个人细节 |
| 83 | I pick and choose which things I'm willing to share, but generally for the most | 我选择我愿意分享的事物 但一般情况下 |
| 84 | part, I am fine with sharing a lot about myself in my life. | 部分,我很好 分享很多关于我自己在我的生活。 |
| 85 | I think that the, the art or the practice | 我认为,艺术或实践 |
| 86 | of storytelling is a beautiful, ancient part of human, human culture, humanity. | 讲故事是人类、人类文化、人类的一个美丽、古老的部分。 |
| 87 | And so I love it. | 所以我喜欢它。 |
| 88 | I think it's great for us to share information and share stories from our lives | 我觉得我们分享信息 分享我们生活中的故事是件好事 |
| 89 | and we can teach each other things, inspire, inspire each other. | 我们可以互相教导 互相启发 |
| 90 | We can just relate to each | 我们可以只与每个 |
| 91 | other, um, learn about each other and see things through different eyes. | 互相学习 透过不同的眼睛看事物 |
| 92 | And yeah, I just think | 是啊,我只是觉得 |
| 93 | that it's a really awesome part of being a human. | 这是作为人类真正令人惊叹的一部分。 |
| 94 | And I, we're already so disconnected. | 而我,我们已经如此脱节。 |
| 95 | I already think that, I think that we're so disconnected. | 我已经这么想了 我觉得我们很脱节 |
| 96 | We were living so independent, | 我们生活如此独立 |
| 97 | you know, compared like we used to, if you go, you know, long enough back, far enough back, | 你知道,比起我们以前, 如果你去,你知道, 足够长的回,足够远的回, |
| 98 | we lived in situations where everybody knew everything about every, everyone, you know, | 我们生活在一个人人皆知的境地, 每个人,你知道, |
| 99 | like we lived in tribes and stuff like that. | 就像我们住在部落里之类的 |
| 100 | There was no privacy. | 没有隐私。 |
| 101 | So, uh, or even just really small, | 所以,呃,甚至只是很小, |
| 102 | like close knit communities. | 喜欢紧密的编织社区。 |
| 103 | So now, you know, a lot of you watching will never even meet me | 所以,现在,你知道, 很多你们看 甚至永远不会见到我 |
| 104 | in real life. | 在现实生活中。 |
| 105 | I'll never even meet you. | 我甚至永远不会见到你。 |
| 106 | Um, we, so we live so disconnected. | 嗯,我们,所以我们生活 如此断续续。 |
| 107 | It's strange, but, um, | 这很奇怪,但是,嗯, |
| 108 | but yeah, I, I have so much personal space and privacy and whatnot that I really don't see any | 但是,我,我,我有这么多的个人空间和隐私 和什么,我没有看到任何 |
| 109 | issue with, uh, sharing, you know, stories about myself on the internet. | 在互联网上分享关于我自己的故事 |
| 110 | And, and I, and I, I think | 还有,我,我,我想 |
| 111 | it's a, I think it's a beautiful thing. | 这是一个,我认为这是一个美丽的东西。 |
| 112 | I think, um, we have to make effort to connect with each | 我想,嗯,我们必须努力 连接每一个 |
| 113 | other because otherwise we're, you know, we're losing that, that kind of community thing. | 其他的,否则我们,你知道, 我们正在失去, 那种社区的事情。 |
| 114 | Anyways, that's another tangent I could get on, but back to the point. | 无论如何,这是另一个切合 我可以得到,但回到重点。 |
| 115 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 116 | So let's start at | 所以,让我们开始 |
| 117 | the beginning with my story. | 从我的故事开始 |
| 118 | Um, okay. | 嗯,还好。 |
| 119 | So where does it begin? | 从哪里开始的? |
| 120 | It begins at my conception, | 从我怀孕开始 |
| 121 | but you know what? | 你知道吗? |
| 122 | It goes back even further than that because it starts with my mother, | 它比那还远 因为它从我妈妈开始, |
| 123 | my mother, uh, her name was Rachel. | 我妈妈 她叫瑞秋 |
| 124 | I say was because she died when I was 14. | 我说是因为我14岁时她死了 |
| 125 | She passed away. | 她过世了 |
| 126 | I like to just say she died. | 我想说她死了 |
| 127 | She died when I was 14. | 我14岁的时候她就死了 |
| 128 | I was a freshman in high school, | 我高中的时候是新生 |
| 129 | my first year of high school and she died from cancer, but really it was from like the cancer | 我高中一年级的时候 她死于癌症 但其实是癌症造成的 |
| 130 | treatment plus, uh, yeah, it's, it's, you know, it's like, where does the cancer and the cancer | 治疗加,嗯,是的,这是, 它,你知道,就像,哪里有癌症和癌症 |
| 131 | treatment line cross? | 治疗线交叉? |
| 132 | Like, you know, cause cancer treatment also is toxic. | 比如说,因为癌症治疗也有毒 |
| 133 | So it's like, | 所以说, |
| 134 | you know, which one really killed her? | 你知道,谁真的杀了她? |
| 135 | I don't know, but they both did together. | 我不知道,但他们都在一起 |
| 136 | So yeah, | 所以,没错, |
| 137 | anyway, she died of cancer. | 无论如何,她死于癌症。 |
| 138 | Um, but we need to go back to my mom's childhood. | 嗯,但我们需要回到 我妈妈的童年。 |
| 139 | My mom had a difficult | 我妈妈有困难 |
| 140 | childhood. | 童年时 |
| 141 | She had a pretty horrible father for various reasons. | 她有一个相当可怕的父亲 出于各种原因。 |
| 142 | And my mom had breast cancer. | 我妈妈得了乳腺癌 |
| 143 | No, sorry. | 不,对不起。 |
| 144 | I'm getting ahead of myself. | 我渐渐超前. |
| 145 | My mom had ovarian cancer when she was 12. | 我妈妈12岁时得了卵巢癌 |
| 146 | When my mom | 当我妈妈 |
| 147 | was 12 years old, she had ovarian cancer. | 她12岁时得了卵巢癌 |
| 148 | So cancer in the ovaries. | 卵巢中的癌症。 |
| 149 | If you're a woman, you have | 如果你是一个女人,你有 |
| 150 | ovaries, you have two, two ovaries. | 卵巢,你有两个,两个卵巢。 |
| 151 | Um, my mom had ovarian cancer. | 我妈妈得了卵巢癌 |
| 152 | She had one of her ovaries | 她有一个卵巢 |
| 153 | removed and she went through chemotherapy, chemo, we call it. | 她接受了化疗 化疗 我们称之为化疗 |
| 154 | And she basically got better. | 她基本上变好了。 |
| 155 | She went into remission. | 她恢复了记忆 |
| 156 | She was, she was fine. | 她,她没事。 |
| 157 | She didn't have cancer anymore. | 她没有癌症了。 |
| 158 | Um, so she was like | 嗯,所以她喜欢 |
| 159 | cured of that. | 已经痊愈了 |
| 160 | Um, so she lost one of her ovaries during that experience, which was very hard for | 嗯,所以她失去了一个她的卵巢 在那次经历,这是非常困难的 |
| 161 | | |
| 162 | She used to tell me about how hard it was. | 她经常告诉我这有多难 |
| 163 | She'd be in the hospital. | 她会去医院的 |
| 164 | She would be throwing up | 她会吐的 |
| 165 | because of the chemotherapy. | 因为化疗。 |
| 166 | Um, she hated having to wear, she used to wear wigs to school | 她讨厌戴假发去上学 |
| 167 | and felt embarrassed about that. | 觉得很尴尬 |
| 168 | Uh, and uncomfortable. | 呃,还有不舒服。 |
| 169 | She said it was so uncomfortable | 她说很不舒服 |
| 170 | to wear a wig and she would get home from school and throw it off, like take it off and throw it. | 戴假发 然后她就从学校回家扔下来 比如脱下来扔出去 |
| 171 | Um, so yeah, so my, my mom dealt with that when she was 12 and she lost one of her ovaries and the | 嗯,所以是的,所以我,我妈妈处理 当她12岁 她失去了一个她的卵巢和 |
| 172 | doctor told her that she might not be able to get pregnant or she would have a decreased chance | 医生告诉她,她可能不能怀孕 或者她的机会会减少 |
| 173 | of getting pregnant. | 怀孕时 |
| 174 | So my mom took that very seriously. | 所以我妈很认真对待这个 |
| 175 | She believed it. | 她相信这一点。 |
| 176 | I mean, she said, | 我的意思是,她说, |
| 177 | oh wow. | 哦,哇呜。 |
| 178 | So I have a low chance of getting pregnant. | 所以我怀孕的机会很小 |
| 179 | And so I think as an adult, she wasn't so, | 所以我想作为一个成年人,她不是, |
| 180 | my mom in general, wasn't a super, super responsible person compared to like me, | 我妈妈总的说 和我一样 不是一个超级的 超级负责任的人 |
| 181 | for example, I think I'm very responsible. | 比如说,我觉得我很负责 |
| 182 | My mom wasn't the most responsible person in general | 我妈不是最负责任的人 |
| 183 | compared to me, but I think she was extra irresponsible as an adult because she thought | 和我相比 我觉得她作为一个成年人 特别不负责任 因为她认为 |
| 184 | that she probably couldn't get pregnant. | 她可能不会怀孕。 |
| 185 | And so I think she didn't really try to use like birth | 所以我觉得她并没有像出生那样尝试使用 |
| 186 | control, for example. | 例如,控制。 |
| 187 | So my mom got pregnant with me and it was a miracle for her. | 我妈妈怀了我,这对她来说是个奇迹 |
| 188 | She was very happy | 她很开心 |
| 189 | because she wanted to have kids, but she, she wasn't trying. | 因为她想生孩子, 但她,她没有尝试。 |
| 190 | It was still like an accident. | 那还是个意外 |
| 191 | I | 一、导 言 |
| 192 | was an accident, but like a happy accident because she didn't think that she could get pregnant. | 是一个意外,但就像一个快乐的意外 因为她认为她不能怀孕。 |
| 193 | And she was 27 and she felt like she was ready, even though her life was kind of a mess, but | 她27岁,她觉得自己准备好了 尽管她的生活有点乱,但是... |
| 194 | she had a job and she was a teacher and she felt like she was ready and she wanted to have a child. | 她有工作,她是个老师 她觉得自己准备好了,她想生个孩子 |
| 195 | So she was happy about the surprise pregnancy and she learned that she can get pregnant. | 于是她对意外怀孕感到高兴,得知自己可以怀孕. |
| 196 | So when my mom was at this age, before she realized she was pregnant, she was going | 所以当我妈妈在这个年龄, 在她意识到她怀孕之前, 她要去 |
| 197 | through a hard time. | 经历了一段艰难的时光。 |
| 198 | My mom had a lot of personal issues her whole life. | 我妈妈一生都有私人问题 |
| 199 | She, which a lot of it is | 她,这是很多 |
| 200 | from the childhood, but yeah, it's complicated. | 童年时期的,但是是的,这是复杂的。 |
| 201 | But my mom overall had a lot of personal issues, | 我妈妈总的来讲有很多个人问题 |
| 202 | emotional issues. | 感情问题。 |
| 203 | And so she was going through a time in her life when she was around 27 | 所以她经历了一个时期 在她27岁左右 |
| 204 | where she was, I think my mom did have a problem with alcohol and I think she was | 她在哪里,我想我妈妈确实有 酗酒的问题,我认为她是 |
| 205 | partying a lot. | 派对很多。 |
| 206 | I think she was, she was kind of, she had this on and off relationship | 我想她是,她是有点, 她有这种开和关的关系 |
| 207 | with this one guy who she was not compatible with at all, but was kind of obsessed with him, | 和一个她完全不相容的人在一起 但有点迷恋他 |
| 208 | like kind of was attached to him, but they would fight all the time. | 和他一样 但他们会一直战斗 |
| 209 | And so they had this on and off again relationship, we call it. | 因此,他们有这个和关闭 关系,我们称之为。 |
| 210 | So sometimes they're | 所以有时候他们 |
| 211 | together, sometimes they're not on and off again. | 在一起,有时他们不 打开和关闭。 |
| 212 | My grandma always says they were like oil and | 我奶奶总是说他们像油一样 |
| 213 | water水. | |
| 214 | They didn't mix. | 他们没有混合。 |
| 215 | So, but yeah, she had this kind of kind of obsession with this, this guy, | 所以,但是是的,她有这种 迷恋这个,这家伙, |
| 216 | but she was, so when they were not together, she was like partying and meeting other people, | 但她是,所以当他们不在一起, 她喜欢聚会和会见其他人, |
| 217 | hanging out with other people. | 和别人一起玩 |
| 218 | And so during this time she got pregnant with me and she didn't know | 所以在这段时间里 她怀上了我 她不知道 |
| 219 | who the father was. | 谁是父亲。 |
| 220 | She wasn't sure who the father was. | 她不知道父亲是谁 |
| 221 | So instead of doing the responsible, | 所以,不做责任人, |
| 222 | mature thing, which is what I think I would do is say, okay, honestly, I don't know who the father | 成熟的事情,这就是我想 我会说,好吧,说实话,我不知道谁是父亲 |
| 223 | is. | 没错 |
| 224 | So let's wait until the child is born. | 故当等生子. |
| 225 | Let's take paternity tests. | 我们做亲子鉴定吧 |
| 226 | Let's figure it out before | 我们先想办法 |
| 227 | we make any assumptions. | 我们做任何假设。 |
| 228 | But my mom, I think that she thought I was the child of a particular guy | 但我妈妈,我觉得她觉得我是某个人的孩子 |
| 229 | who was, he was only in my state temporarily. | 他是,他只是暂时在我的状态。 |
| 230 | He was like on vacation, but he was going to leave. | 他就像在度假, 但他要离开。 |
| 231 | So my mom thought that that wouldn't be a good father for me because he's, he doesn't live there. | 我妈妈觉得那对我来说不是一个好父亲 因为他不住在那里 |
| 232 | He's going to leave soon and he lives far away and they didn't have a relationship. | 他很快就要离开,他住在很远的地方,他们没有关系. |
| 233 | And so she | 所以说她 |
| 234 | made the decision to tell the man that did live there, the man that she's, she was obsessed with | 决定告诉那个住在那里的男人 她的那个人 她迷上了 |
| 235 | that he is the father. | 他是他的父亲。 |
| 236 | So she told this man, let's give him a name. | 所以她告诉了这个人 让我们给他一个名字 |
| 237 | It's not his real name | 这不是他的真名 |
| 238 | because I want to change the names here, but just, just so that we understand the story, | 因为我想在这里改变名字, 但只是,只是为了让我们了解故事, |
| 239 | um, let's, okay, let's give some names here. | 嗯,让我们,好吧, 让我们在这里给出一些名字。 |
| 240 | Um, I didn't even think about this. | 嗯,我什至没有想到这一点。 |
| 241 | Um, whatever, | 嗯,不管怎样, |
| 242 | we can call my mom. | 我们可以打电话给我妈妈。 |
| 243 | Her real name is Rachel. | 她的真名是瑞秋(Rachel). |
| 244 | I, we can say that let's say my mom, my mom's name is | 我们可以说我妈妈,我妈妈的名字 |
| 245 | Rachel. | 雷切尔 |
| 246 | I want to use her real name, but we'll give a fake name to the other people. | 我想用她的真名 但我们会给其他人一个假名 |
| 247 | So, um, | 所以,嗯,我们... |
| 248 | yeah. | 对 |
| 249 | So let's say Vincent, Vincent is the guy who lived somewhere else that was leaving. | 所以说文森特 文森特就是那个 住在别处的人 |
| 250 | And let's say that, um, William, let's say William, I'm just thinking of random names. | 让我们假设,嗯,威廉, 让我们假设威廉,我只是在想 随机的名字。 |
| 251 | William is the guy who she was obsessed with and who was living there. | 威廉是她迷恋的那个人 住在那 |
| 252 | So she told, she, | 所以她告诉,她, |
| 253 | she thought that Vincent was the child, but she was the father, sorry. | 她以为文森特是孩子 但她是父亲,对不起 |
| 254 | But she told William that | 但她告诉威廉 |
| 255 | he was the father and William was like, cause they remember they had an on and off again | 他是他的父亲,威廉一样, 因为他们记得 他们有一次和一次 |
| 256 | relationship, William and her. | 威廉和她的关系 |
| 257 | So he was like, I don't know if I'm the father. | 所以他说 我不知道我是不是父亲 |
| 258 | Like the dates | 像日期一样 |
| 259 | don't really seem to add up. | 似乎没什么好说的 |
| 260 | Like, I don't, I don't see, I don't think so, but my mom and my | 喜欢,我不,我不看,我不认为, 但我的妈妈和我 |
| 261 | grandma were like, how dare you question how, like they denied it. | 奶奶说,你竟敢质疑,好像他们否认了 |
| 262 | They said, of course, of course | 他们说,当然,当然 |
| 263 | you're the father. | 你是父亲。 |
| 264 | How dare you say that? | 你怎么敢这么说? |
| 265 | Don't say that. | 别这么说 |
| 266 | And William, now William should have | 威廉,现在威廉应该 |
| 267 | said, look, I'm not saying that I'm not, but let's just get a test done. | 说,你看,我不是说我不是, 但让我们只是做一个测试。 |
| 268 | But William said, okay. | 但是威廉说,好吧。 |
| 269 | And he just accepted it. | 他刚刚接受了 |
| 270 | And he didn't push it any further. | 他没有再推了 |
| 271 | He said, all right, I'm the father. | 他说,好吧,我是父亲。 |
| 272 | Um, and then I was born. | 嗯,然后我诞生了。 |
| 273 | And then I think William started to feel that feeling that a father feels | 然后我觉得威廉开始感觉到 父亲的感觉 |
| 274 | when they see their children being born. | 当他们看见他们的孩子出生的时候 |
| 275 | And as a baby, they, they feel this connection, | 作为一个婴儿,他们感觉到这种联系, |
| 276 | this excitement, not as much as a mother often. | 这种兴奋, 不像一个母亲经常。 |
| 277 | I think my mom felt it a lot stronger, but I think | 我觉得我妈妈觉得它更强壮 但我想 |
| 278 | that William felt this, this kind of desire to be my father. | 威廉有这种感觉, 这种渴望成为我父亲。 |
| 279 | So he didn't bring it up again. | 所以他没再提了 |
| 280 | He said, | 他说, |
| 281 | yes, I am her father. | 是的,我是她的父亲。 |
| 282 | Um, yeah. | 对 |
| 283 | And I don't know, maybe it was meant to be that way. | 我不知道,也许这是注定的。 |
| 284 | Maybe | 也许 |
| 285 | he was just, he wanted to be a dad. | 他只是, 他想成为一个父亲。 |
| 286 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 287 | So that's, that's the way it was. | 所以,这是它的方式。 |
| 288 | Now, William and my mom, they did not stay together, of course. | 现在,威廉和我妈妈, 他们没有在一起,当然。 |
| 289 | So they were quickly separated | 所以他们很快就分开了 |
| 290 | for good and they started to date other people. | 他们开始和别人约会 |
| 291 | And so my mom started to get with this, this new | 所以我妈妈开始接受这个,这个新的 |
| 292 | guy, my stepdad, they, they ended up getting married and, and whatever. | 我继父,他们最终结婚了,什么的。 |
| 293 | And, uh, that's still | 而且,呃,这仍然是 |
| 294 | my stepfather today, even though my mom died, but they were married when, uh, she died and he was | 今天我的继父,虽然我妈妈死了, 但他们结婚了,当,呃,她死了,他是 |
| 295 | my stepdad my whole life. | 我继父的一生 |
| 296 | So, so I have stepfather. | 所以我有继父了 |
| 297 | Um, we don't need to give him a name because he's | 嗯,我们不需要给他一个名字 因为他是 |
| 298 | not very important in this, in this story particularly, but yeah. | 在这件事情中并不重要 特别是在这个故事中 |
| 299 | So if mother, so I lived | 所以,如果妈妈, 所以我生活 |
| 300 | half the time with my mother and stepfather and I lived half the time with my, the man who believed | 一半的时间与我的母亲和继父 我住 一半的时间与我的, 男人谁相信 |
| 301 | he was my father, William, and his new partner, um, that was my stepmother. | 他是我的父亲,威廉 他的新搭档,嗯,那是我的继母。 |
| 302 | They got married and | 他们结婚了 |
| 303 | yeah, eventually later on they got a divorce and whatever, but I still considered that woman like | 是啊,后来他们离婚了 但我仍然认为那个女人喜欢 |
| 304 | my stepmother because she was a big part of my childhood. | 我的继母,因为她是 我童年的一大部分。 |
| 305 | And I still have a good, I still have | 我还有好东西,我还有 |
| 306 | a good relationship with those stepparents today. | 今天跟继父母的关系很好 |
| 307 | Um, okay. | 嗯,还好。 |
| 308 | So, so I, I lived between these two houses. | 所以我就住在这两栋房子之间 |
| 309 | I grew up like this. | 我这样长大的 |
| 310 | Um, eventually when I was around the age of eight, eight years old, um, uh, | 最终当我八八岁的时候 |
| 311 | sorry, during this time, also my mom had another child. | 对不起,在这期间, 我妈妈还有另一个孩子。 |
| 312 | She had a son, my brother Logan. | 她有个儿子 我弟弟洛根 |
| 313 | Um, he was | 嗯,他曾经是 |
| 314 | born when, when I was about five years old, six years old. | 生于五岁左右六岁时. |
| 315 | And so his father is my stepfather. | 所以他的父亲是我的继父 |
| 316 | So | 这么说 |
| 317 | when I was about eight years old, um, my, uh, William and my stepmom got a divorce and then | 我八岁的时候 我... 威廉和继母离婚了 |
| 318 | William started to have a, a hard time. | 威廉开始过着艰难的生活 |
| 319 | He started to kind of spiral, started to go downhill. | 他开始有点螺旋,开始下坡。 |
| 320 | Um, | 额... |
| 321 | everything in his life started to kind of go badly from my perspective and he started to have | 从我的角度来说 他生命中的一切开始变得很糟 他开始有 |
| 322 | new girlfriends and a new lifestyle. | 新的女朋友和新的生活方式。 |
| 323 | He was, um, drinking. | 他,嗯, 喝着。 |
| 324 | He had a problem with alcohol. | 他酗酒有问题 |
| 325 | Pretty much all my parents had problems with alcohol. | 差不多我父母都酗酒有问题 |
| 326 | Thankfully I do not. | 幸好我没有 |
| 327 | Um, yeah. | 对 |
| 328 | And he, | 还有他 |
| 329 | yeah, he had a problem with alcohol, with money, with, uh, just being a responsible present father | 是啊,他有一个问题 酒精,钱, 和,呃,只是一个负责任的 现任父亲 |
| 330 | in my life. | 在我的生命中,我曾经是 |
| 331 | Um, he started to kind of be a bad dad, like he was good before. | 嗯,他开始 有点坏爸爸, 像他以前很好。 |
| 332 | And then he started | 然后他开始 |
| 333 | to be kind of bad, but I don't know when I say he was good before, I think he did the, I think he | 有点坏,但我不知道什么时候 我说他以前是好, 我认为他做了,我认为他 |
| 334 | did the minimum of what he did. | 做了他做过的最起码的事 |
| 335 | The normal thing that is required to be a father. | 做父亲需要的正常东西 |
| 336 | I don't like | 我不喜欢 |
| 337 | when people praise men for doing things that is just part of being a normal father, you know, | 当人们称赞男人 做一些只是 作为正常父亲的一部分,你知道, |
| 338 | like women do so much as mothers and they don't get the same praise often that men who do like | 就像女人做这么多 母亲和她们不 得到同样的赞美 男人谁喜欢 |
| 339 | bare minimum father things with their kids get praised about. | 最小的父亲和孩子的事情 得到赞扬。 |
| 340 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 341 | They get praised for | 他们被称赞 |
| 342 | normal stuff. | 正常的东西。 |
| 343 | So he was just being a normal father. | 所以他只是一个正常的父亲。 |
| 344 | But when I was around eight years old, | 但当我8岁左右, |
| 345 | he got a divorce and his, he started to actually be a bad father. | 他离婚了 他开始做一个坏父亲 |
| 346 | Um, yeah, his, his life just got | 嗯,是的,他的, 他的生活刚刚得到 |
| 347 | kind of messy and, and I didn't really want to live with him anymore. | 有点乱,我不想再和他住在一起了 |
| 348 | I didn't want to be a part. | 我不想成为其中的一部分。 |
| 349 | I wanted to see him sometimes. | 我有时想见他 |
| 350 | I still wanted him in my life, but I didn't want as much as before. | 我生命中仍然想要他 但我没有以前那么想要他 |
| 351 | And I was starting to get really upset by his behavior because, you know, he would tell me like, | 我开始对他的行为感到很不安 因为,你知道,他会告诉我, |
| 352 | Oh, we're going to hang out next weekend. | 哦,我们下周要出去玩 |
| 353 | And then he would never show up, stuff like that. | 然后他永远不会出现 像这样的东西。 |
| 354 | So I started to get, or a lot of things happened. | 所以我开始得到, 或者很多事情发生。 |
| 355 | You know, I would say how I don't want to stay at | 你知道,我会说如何 我不想呆在那里 |
| 356 | his girlfriend's house and he would get mad at me and, you know, just, he started to be a bad dad. | 他女朋友的房子,他会生我的气 而且,你知道,只是,他开始是一个坏爸爸。 |
| 357 | Basically. | 基本上是这样。 |
| 358 | Um, and he, and I, when I, when I would confront him about it, he never took responsibility. | 嗯,他,我,当我, 当我会面对他 这件事,他从来没有承担责任。 |
| 359 | You know, he never, he never acknowledged that I was right. | 他从来不承认我是对的 |
| 360 | And so I started to get really angry | 所以我开始生气 |
| 361 | at him and my mom, my mom, she, she told me that she wanted to make me feel better. | 她告诉我她想让我好过点 |
| 362 | She wanted to | 她想这样 |
| 363 | give me hope that maybe he wasn't my father and maybe my real father was better. | 希望他不是我父亲 或许我真正的父亲更好 |
| 364 | That's what she | 这就是她 |
| 365 | told me. | 告诉我。 |
| 366 | She said, you were so angry at him. | 她说,你很生他的气 |
| 367 | I thought maybe if I tell you that he's, he might | 我想也许如果我告诉你,他可能 |
| 368 | not be your father, it would make you happy. | 不是你的父亲, 它会让你快乐。 |
| 369 | That's what she said. | 她就是这么说的 |
| 370 | I'm just quoting. | 我只是引证一下 |
| 371 | I'm just saying | 我只是说 |
| 372 | what she told me. | 她告诉我的 |
| 373 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 374 | Um, but I, I am glad that she told me, but that was a little crazy what | 嗯,但我,我很高兴 她告诉我, 但这是有点疯狂什么 |
| 375 | she said that like that. | 她这么说的 |
| 376 | But, but I understand. | 不过,我明白 |
| 377 | I understand where she was coming from. | 我知道她从哪里来 |
| 378 | Um, so she | 所以说她 |
| 379 | told me, she told me that he might not be my father. | 她告诉我 他可能不是我父亲 |
| 380 | And she told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 381 | She told | 她告诉 |
| 382 | me about this other guy who lives in a different state. | 关于另一个住在不同状态的人 |
| 383 | And she thinks that he is my father. | 她认为他是我父亲 |
| 384 | And | 还有 |
| 385 | she thought that ever since I was born and that I even look more like him or there's certain, | 她觉得自从我出生以来 我更像他 或者肯定 |
| 386 | we have certain things in common. | 我们有些共同点 |
| 387 | Um, yeah, she gave me his name. | 嗯,是的,她给我他的名字。 |
| 388 | She told me some things about | 她告诉我一些事情 |
| 389 | him that she remembered. | 她记得的那个人 |
| 390 | And yeah, it was just from her memory. | 是的,这只是从她的记忆。 |
| 391 | She, she didn't have any contact | 她没有联系人 |
| 392 | with him. | 跟着他 |
| 393 | So she told me that William might not be my father. | 她告诉我威廉可能不是我父亲 |
| 394 | She told me about Vincent. | 她跟我说了文森特的事 |
| 395 | She said | 她说 |
| 396 | he might be, he said she thinks he might be. | 他可能,他说她认为他可能是。 |
| 397 | She didn't tell me about anyone else. | 她没告诉我还有谁 |
| 398 | So she just said | 所以她说 |
| 399 | it's either Vincent or William. | 是文森特还是威廉 |
| 400 | She didn't give me another option. | 她没有给我另一个选择。 |
| 401 | So I thought, okay, it's between | 所以我想,好吧,这是 |
| 402 | those two. | 那两个 |
| 403 | But at that age, I was like eight years old or nine years old, like one of those, | 那时我八岁或九岁 就像其中一个 |
| 404 | eight or nine. | 八九岁. |
| 405 | And I knew that if my, I knew that if William found out about this, he would be | 我知道,如果我的,我知道 如果威廉发现了这一点,他会 |
| 406 | very angry. | 非常愤怒。 |
| 407 | He would be very upset at my mom for, for lying, for keeping this a secret. | 他对我妈妈很不高兴 因为她撒谎 隐瞒这件事 |
| 408 | And I would be caught up in it. | 我也会被卷入其中 |
| 409 | And I, I didn't want to deal with that. | 而我,我不想处理。 |
| 410 | And it kind of like | 有点像 |
| 411 | protecting my mother. | 保护我的母亲 |
| 412 | I made the decision to not take a paternity test. | 我决定不做亲子鉴定 |
| 413 | I said, I, I don't want to | 我说,我不想 |
| 414 | know right now. | 现在知道。 |
| 415 | Like I don't care. | 就像我不在乎一样 |
| 416 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 417 | I said, I don't care. | 我说,我不在乎。 |
| 418 | Um, he's been the only man | 他是唯一一个 |
| 419 | that has, you know, considered himself to be my father. | 这已经,你知道, 认为自己是我父亲。 |
| 420 | He helped raise me like he is my father. | 他把我当父亲一样抚养长大 |
| 421 | So whatever, let's just continue with this idea that he is my father, but I always knew in the | 所以不管怎样,让我们继续这个想法 他是我的父亲,但我一直知道 |
| 422 | back of my head, he might not be. | 在我的脑后,他可能不是。 |
| 423 | Um, but I didn't, I never like saw him in a different light or felt | 嗯,但是我没有,我从来没有喜欢看到他 在不同的光 或感觉 |
| 424 | something different toward him because of that. | 对他来说是不一样的 |
| 425 | I truly believe that like, if I was angry at him, | 我真的相信,就像, 如果我对他生气, |
| 426 | it was because of his behavior. | 是因为他的行为 |
| 427 | It wasn't because I thought, oh, this man is not even my father. | 不是因为我想,哦,这个人甚至不是我父亲 |
| 428 | And, you know, like I didn't care about that. | 而且,你知道,就像我不在乎这一点。 |
| 429 | I, I judged him for his behavior, | 我评价他的行为 |
| 430 | whether he's my father or not. | 不管他是不是我父亲 |
| 431 | To me, father is less about the blood and more about the role that | 对我来说,父亲不太关心血,更关心角色 |
| 432 | you have in someone's life. | 你有在别人的生活中。 |
| 433 | And I can recognize that I could see that at that age. | 我能认出那个年龄的我可以看到。 |
| 434 | So I said, I | 所以我说,我 |
| 435 | to be honest, I was a little bit excited. | 老实说 我有点兴奋 |
| 436 | I was excited by the idea of maybe my father is somebody | 我对父亲是某个人的想法很兴奋 |
| 437 | else. | 别的 |
| 438 | I don't know the idea, the mystery of it, of this other father who is mysterious and interesting | 我不知道这个神秘而有趣的父亲的想法,神秘之处 |
| 439 | and unknown. | 和未知数。 |
| 440 | It interested me at that age. | 那时我对这个年龄感兴趣 |
| 441 | It piqued my interest, but I didn't look into it. | 引起了我的兴趣 但我没有调查 |
| 442 | I didn't explore that further. | 我没有进一步探索 |
| 443 | So the years went by and my relationship with William did not get | 几年过去了,我和威廉的关系没有 |
| 444 | better. | 好多了,你还好吧? |
| 445 | And when I was 14, at this point, like they had basically my William had basically, | 当我14岁的时候,现在, 就像他们基本上有 我的威廉基本上, |
| 446 | I keep saying my, because I want to say like my dad, because that's what I called him most of my | 我不停地说,因为我想说 像我爸爸一样, 因为我叫他大多数我 |
| 447 | life. | 活着 |
| 448 | But, and I still refer to him. | 但我还是提到他 |
| 449 | I still call him my dad nowadays, but not always. | 我至今仍称他为我爸爸,但并非始终如此。 |
| 450 | It depends. | 这取决于。 |
| 451 | But anyways, I'm, I'm not giving anything away. | 但不管怎样,我,我不会放弃任何东西。 |
| 452 | I feel like you already know where this story is | 我感觉你已经知道这个故事在哪里了 |
| 453 | going. | 继续 |
| 454 | So yeah, I've given way too many clues, too many hints. | 所以,我放弃了太多的线索,太多的暗示。 |
| 455 | So, but maybe you don't know where | 所以,但也许你不知道在哪里 |
| 456 | the story is going. | 故事正在继续 |
| 457 | Let's see. | 让我看看。 |
| 458 | There are some twists and turns. | 有一些曲折和转弯。 |
| 459 | There are some unexpected twists | 有一些意外的曲折 |
| 460 | and turns that I think you don't anticipate. | 转过来,我认为你没有预料到。 |
| 461 | So buckle up. | 系好安全带 |
| 462 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 463 | So at this point, like | 所以,现在,像 |
| 464 | by the time I was a teenager, William basically accepted that I live at my mom's house. | 我十几岁的时候 威廉基本上接受了我住在我妈家 |
| 465 | I live | 我活着 |
| 466 | with my mom and my stepdad and my brother, and that's my home. | 和我妈妈,我的继父 和我的兄弟, 这是我的家。 |
| 467 | And he just would come and take | 他只会来带走 |
| 468 | me for a night, a day or two, once in a while. | 我过一晚,一两天,偶尔 |
| 469 | And we'd hang out. | 而我们挂出。 |
| 470 | He'd take me to his girlfriend | 他会带我去见他的女朋友 |
| 471 | at the times house, whichever girlfriend he had. | 在那个时候,房子, 无论他有女朋友。 |
| 472 | I never liked doing that. | 我从来没有喜欢这样做。 |
| 473 | I never liked any of his | 我从来不喜欢他的 |
| 474 | girlfriends or I didn't even really like him, but it was my dad's. | 女朋友或我甚至不喜欢他, 但这是我爸爸的。 |
| 475 | I tried to make the best out of | 我试着让最好的 |
| 476 | it. | 这个 |
| 477 | But yeah, I just didn't like these kind of people. | 但我只是不喜欢这种人 |
| 478 | I felt like I had nothing in common with | 我觉得我没有什么共同点 |
| 479 | them. | 他们。 |
| 480 | Like they're people at the end of the day, they're people, but like people are people. | 犹如临终是人,是人但如人. |
| 481 | We all | 我们都是 |
| 482 | can relate to each other in some way. | 能够以某种方式互相联系。 |
| 483 | But I just felt like I had nothing in common with these | 但我觉得自己和这些没什么共同点 |
| 484 | people and these people, I would never hang out with them if I didn't have to. | 人和这些人,我永远不会 与他们挂出,如果我没有必要。 |
| 485 | I felt like | 我觉得 |
| 486 | obligated. | 义务。 |
| 487 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 488 | And usually their house smelled like cigarettes and it made all my clothes and | 通常他们的房子闻起来像香烟 它让我所有的衣服和 |
| 489 | hair smell like cigarettes. | 头发闻起来像香烟 |
| 490 | And yeah, I just didn't like a lot of things about that. | 是的,我只是不喜欢很多事情。 |
| 491 | And I | 还有我 |
| 492 | felt obligated. | 觉得有义务。 |
| 493 | I felt like my mom was like, just go make him happy. | 我觉得我妈妈喜欢, 只是去让他快乐。 |
| 494 | Go hang out with, you know, | 出去玩玩吧,你知道的,我... |
| 495 | go hang out with them. | 和他们一起玩吧 |
| 496 | And then my dad would pressure me, William. | 然后我爸会给我压力,威廉 |
| 497 | William would pressure me | 威廉会给我压力 |
| 498 | and my mom would pressure me and everybody would pressure me to hang out, to go spend time with | 我妈妈会给我压力 所有人都会给我压力 来陪我 |
| 499 | William, with my dad at the time. | 威廉,当时和我爸在一起 |
| 500 | And I think that is so wrong. | 我认为这是错误的。 |
| 501 | I think that is so wrong to | 我觉得这样不对 |
| 502 | pressure a child to spend time with a family member that they don't want to spend time with. | 迫使孩子和他们不想在一起的家庭成员在一起 |
| 503 | I don't care if it's a father or mother. | 不论父母. |
| 504 | I don't care who it is. | 我不在乎是谁 |
| 505 | You should never pressure someone. | 你不应该强迫别人 |
| 506 | You never pressure a child to hang out with. | 你从不强迫一个孩子出去玩 |
| 507 | I think it's horrible, honestly. | 我觉得这很可怕,说实话。 |
| 508 | But that's how I | 但我就是这样 |
| 509 | felt and that's what was done. | 感觉就是这样的 |
| 510 | And yeah, I mean, I have a long list of things I disagree with | 是啊,我的意思是,我有很多 我不同意的东西 |
| 511 | my parents about, with the way that I was raised and the way that they are and whatever. | 我的父母,我长大的方式, 他们的方式和什么的。 |
| 512 | I am very different than my parents. | 我和我父母很不一样 |
| 513 | A lot of things they didn't, a lot of things they just | 很多他们没有的东西, 很多他们只是的东西 |
| 514 | didn't understand that I understood. | 不明白,我明白这一点。 |
| 515 | Yeah, a lot of, they had a lot of issues that I don't have. | 是啊,很多,他们有很多问题 我没有。 |
| 516 | Maybe I was born different. | 也许我生来不同 |
| 517 | Maybe I was, maybe I learned from their mistakes. | 也许我是从他们的错误中吸取教训的 |
| 518 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 519 | But | 不过 |
| 520 | yeah, my parents had a lot of issues and they didn't really know what they were doing. | 是啊,我的父母有很多问题 他们真的不知道他们在做什么。 |
| 521 | I mean, nobody really does, but they really didn't know what they were doing. | 我的意思是,没有人真的做, 但他们真的不知道 他们在做什么。 |
| 522 | So yeah, I think I'm a lot more qualified to be a parent, but we'll see. | 所以,是的,我想我更有资格 当一个父母, 但我们会看到。 |
| 523 | I don't have my own | 我没有自己的 |
| 524 | kids yet, but my mom always used to like to remind me about that. | 孩子们,但我妈妈总是喜欢 提醒我这一点。 |
| 525 | You'll see when you have | 你会看到当你有 |
| 526 | your own kids. | 亲生孩子 |
| 527 | Yeah, but we're different. | 是啊,但我们是不同的。 |
| 528 | We're very different. | 我们很不一样 |
| 529 | I am very different than my mom | 我跟我妈不一样 |
| 530 | and my, everyone, everyone in my family. | 还有我的,每个人,我的家人 |
| 531 | I am super different. | 我超级不同。 |
| 532 | The choices I make in my life. | 我生命中的选择 |
| 533 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 534 | Anyways, I could talk about that all day long. | 总之,我可以整天谈论这个 |
| 535 | But anyways, so at that point, yeah, | 但无论如何,所以当时,是的, |
| 536 | my home was my mom, my stepdad and my brother's house. | 我的家是我妈妈 我的继父和哥哥的房子 |
| 537 | But when I was 14, my mom died. | 但当我14岁的时候,我妈妈死了。 |
| 538 | She was | 她曾经是 |
| 539 | diagnosed with cancer when I was like 11. | 我11岁时被诊断患有癌症 |
| 540 | So she'd been living with it for like a few years. | 所以她已经和它同居了几年了 |
| 541 | So it | 就这样 |
| 542 | was normal, but I didn't really think she was going to die. | 虽然很正常 但我没想到她会死 |
| 543 | She would always tell me there's | 她总是告诉我有 |
| 544 | no cure, there's no cure, whatever. | 没有治疗,没有治疗,什么的。 |
| 545 | But I, I always, I never thought that she would really die, | 但我,我总是, 我从没想过她会真的死, |
| 546 | but she did. | 但她确实这么做了 |
| 547 | And at that point, no, what am I saying? | 这时候,不,我说什么? |
| 548 | What's his name? | 他叫什么来着? |
| 549 | Oh yeah, William. | 哦,对,威廉。 |
| 550 | William, when my mom died, William tried to get me to go live with him and his girlfriend or wife | 威廉,当我妈妈去世时, 威廉试图让我去 与他和他的女朋友或妻子生活 |
| 551 | or whatever at the time. | 或任何时间。 |
| 552 | I don't remember. | 我不记得了 |
| 553 | And I was like, no, no, I don't want, I live with my | 我当时想,不,不,我不想,我和我的 |
| 554 | stepdad and my brother just because my mom died. | 繼父和我弟弟只是因为我妈妈死了 |
| 555 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 556 | I'm still going to live here. | 我还是要住在这里。 |
| 557 | This | 这个 |
| 558 | is my home. | 就是我的家,你在这里干什么? |
| 559 | This is where I live. | 这就是我住的地方。 |
| 560 | I'm not leaving. | 我不会离开的 |
| 561 | So yeah, I think, I think he tried to fight me | 所以,我想,我想,他试图打我 |
| 562 | about that. | 关于那个。 |
| 563 | I forgot a lot of the details, but my stepdad reminded me that I think he even called | 我忘了很多细节 但我的继父提醒我 我想他甚至打过电话 |
| 564 | the cops because he was, he was really trying to force me to live with him. | 因为是警察,他真的想逼我跟他住 |
| 565 | And I was like, | 我当时想, |
| 566 | are you crazy? | 你疯了吗? |
| 567 | Like I have not lived with you full time since I was like seven. | 就像我从七岁起就没跟你住过一样 |
| 568 | I'm not, uh-uh. | 我没有... |
| 569 | I don't even like you, bro. | 我甚至不喜欢你,兄弟。 |
| 570 | I'm not doing that. | 我不会那么做的 |
| 571 | I don't even, I don't even want to hang out with | 我甚至不,我甚至不想 挂出来 |
| 572 | you for three days. | 给你三天时间 |
| 573 | What do you mean live with you? | 你说跟你住在一起是什么意思? |
| 574 | You freaking crazy. | 你这疯子 |
| 575 | Uh, so yeah. | 嗯,所以对了。 |
| 576 | So, but | 所以,虽然 |
| 577 | eventually he, once he saw that, like, I think he called the cops and the cops in like cop was like, | 最后,他,一旦他看到, 像,我想他叫警察和警察一样, |
| 578 | she's, she lives here. | 她是,她住在这里。 |
| 579 | She's fine here. | 她在这里很好。 |
| 580 | I can't force her to go live with you, bro. | 我不能强迫她跟你一起住 兄弟 |
| 581 | Like this is | 像这样 |
| 582 | her home. | 產 |
| 583 | Like just because her mom died, you know, she's still living with her brother and her | 就像因为她妈妈死了, 你知道,她仍然 和她的兄弟和她住在一起 |
| 584 | stepdad and she wants to. | 继父和她想。 |
| 585 | So, so then he backed, he backed off, he backed down and then because he | 所以,然后他备份, 他退出, 他退缩,然后因为他 |
| 586 | was forced to basically, he had no choice. | 基本上,他别无选择。 |
| 587 | And then my stepdad was having a hard time. | 后来我继父也很难过 |
| 588 | All of | 全体 |
| 589 | these people, God, they had such a hard time with life. | 这些人,上帝, 他们有一个如此艰难的生活。 |
| 590 | They just couldn't get it together. | 他们只是不能得到它在一起。 |
| 591 | He was | 他曾经是 |
| 592 | having a hard time. | 很难过 |
| 593 | He's abusing alcohol. | 他滥用酒精。 |
| 594 | He's starting to be rude to me and treat me not like, | 他开始对我粗鲁对待我 |
| 595 | nobody in my family was ever physically abusive to me, but he would drink and he would get a little | 我家里没有人对我施虐 但他会喝酒 然后得到一点 |
| 596 | like verbally abusive, like bullying, like, like he would say, you know, say rude things to me. | 像辱骂 欺凌 喜欢,像, 他会说,你知道, 说粗鲁的事情给我。 |
| 597 | And I was like, I was, yeah, I didn't have a great relationship with him either. | 我很喜欢,我,是的, 我和他没有 一个伟大的关系。 |
| 598 | So we started to | 所以我们开始 |
| 599 | have problems and I, and I really wanted to stay living with my brother, but I just started to have | 我真的很想和我哥哥住在一起 但我刚开始 |
| 600 | problems with my stepdad. | 我继父有问题 |
| 601 | And so when I started to have problems with my stepdad, William saw it as | 所以当我开始跟我的继父有问题时 威廉认为 |
| 602 | an opportunity to come in and take me to live with him. | 有机会来带我和他一起生活 |
| 603 | But I was still fighting that I did not want | 但我还在战斗,我不想 |
| 604 | to go live with William. | 和威廉一起过日子 |
| 605 | That's the last place I wanted to go live. | 这是我最不想住的地方 |
| 606 | I'd rather live with my grandma. | 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 我宁愿和我奶奶住在一起 |
| 607 | So for a time I went to live with my grandma. | 所以有一段时间我跟我奶奶住在一起 |
| 608 | I lived with one of my aunts. | 我和我姨妈住在一起 |
| 609 | It's complicated. | 这很复杂。 |
| 610 | It | 这个 |
| 611 | was a whole thing, but basically I was like, I want to live anywhere but with him. | 整个事情,但基本上,我一样, 我想住任何地方,但与他。 |
| 612 | Like I will | 就像我会 |
| 613 | live with any family member, any person except him. | 与任何家庭成员,除他外的任何人住在一起。 |
| 614 | And he didn't like that. | 他不喜欢这样 |
| 615 | He was, he hated that. | 他是,他讨厌那。 |
| 616 | And so he was like calling up my aunt and like basically harassing her and like just even my | 所以他喜欢打电话给我姑妈 喜欢基本上骚扰她 就像只是我的 |
| 617 | grandma was pressuring me to go live with him. | 奶奶逼我跟他住在一起 |
| 618 | Everybody was kind of like, I don't want to fight | 每个人都喜欢,我不想打架 |
| 619 | him. | 他,他是谁? |
| 620 | He's your father. | 他是你父亲 |
| 621 | He should take you. | 他应该带你走 |
| 622 | And they couldn't empathize with me or understand | 他们无法同情我 也无法理解 |
| 623 | how I felt. | 我的感觉 |
| 624 | And so it got to a point where he, William was trying so hard, fighting so hard for | 威廉很努力地为他而战 |
| 625 | me to live with him, that I got basically desperate. | 我和他住在一起, 我基本上绝望。 |
| 626 | I got to, I reached my limit of the maximum | 我到了极限 |
| 627 | 我可以带走 I could take. | |
| 628 | I couldn't handle it anymore. | 我受不了了,我无法承受 |
| 629 | So I told him, and by the way, I'm speaking slowly. | 所以我告诉他,顺便说一句,我说话很慢。 |
| 630 | It's not because I'm feeling emotional or because I am trying to talk slower for you guys. | 不是因为我情绪激动 也不是因为我想为你们慢慢说话 |
| 631 | I'm just | 我只是说 |
| 632 | talking this because I'm literally thinking about what to say as like how to tell you the story as | 说这些是因为我正想着该说什么 就像如何告诉你的故事 |
| 633 | I'm doing it. | 我这样做。 |
| 634 | So I'm trying to focus. | 所以我想专注。 |
| 635 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 636 | What do I say next? | 接下来我要说什么? |
| 637 | How do I say this? | 我该怎么说呢? |
| 638 | That's why. | 故说. |
| 639 | So yeah. | 对啊 |
| 640 | So I hit my limit. | 所以我达到了极限。 |
| 641 | I said, I can't take this anymore. | 我说 我受不了了 |
| 642 | I can't handle this anymore. | 我受不了这个了 |
| 643 | There is one thing I know. | 有一件事我知道,我记得 |
| 644 | There's one chance I have at getting him to stop, to stop harassing, | 我有机会让他停止骚扰 |
| 645 | to stop trying to force me to live with him, to stop fighting. | 停止强迫我和他一起生活 停止战斗 |
| 646 | There's one thing I can use. | 有一点我可以用 |
| 647 | There's one card I can play. | 我可以打一张牌 |
| 648 | And that is, you might not be my father. | 也就是说,你可能不是我父亲 |
| 649 | I want a paternity test. | 我要做亲子鉴定 |
| 650 | I want a paternity test, William, now. | 我要做个亲子鉴定,威廉 |
| 651 | Give it to me now, you little. | 现在给我,你这个小东西。 |
| 652 | And so I wrote him a letter and I told him, and he was all emotional. | 我给他写了封信 告诉他,他很情绪化 |
| 653 | And believe me, | 并且相信我, |
| 654 | I truly empathize with him. | 我真心的同情他,我爱他 |
| 655 | I can't imagine 15, at this point I was 15 years old, 15 years later | 我无法想象15岁,此时我15岁,15年后 |
| 656 | after thinking that I'm somebody's parent, that I'm somebody's father, to find out 15 years later | 想到我是别人的家长,我是别人的父亲,15年后才发现 |
| 657 | that I might not be their father or that I'm not their father, crushing. | 我可能不是他们的父亲 或者我不是他们的父亲,粉碎。 |
| 658 | I mean, obviously, | 我的意思是,很明显, |
| 659 | it shouldn't change the way that you feel about the person, like, you know, that you should, you | 它不应该改变你对一个人的感觉, 比如,你知道,你应该,你 |
| 660 | know, the way you want to still be their father. | 你知道,你想成为他们父亲的方式。 |
| 661 | But just to find that out is, I think it's | 但为了找出问题 我认为 |
| 662 | devastating. | 毁灭性的。 |
| 663 | It's very upsetting. | 真让人心烦 |
| 664 | And yeah, I mean, I can't imagine. | 是的,我是说,我不能想象。 |
| 665 | I mean, I empathize with him for | 我是说 我同情他 |
| 666 | experiencing that. | 经历那。 |
| 667 | I'm sure that was very hard for him. | 我肯定那对他来说是很难的 |
| 668 | I think it's still hard for him years | 我觉得对他来说还是很难过 |
| 669 | and years later. | 和多年之后, 。 。 |
| 670 | So yeah, so that was very hard for him to realize that he might not be. | 所以他很难意识到他可能不是 |
| 671 | But he | 不过他 |
| 672 | agreed. | 已经同意了。 |
| 673 | He agreed to do it, to get a paternity test. | 他同意这样做, 得到一个父子关系测试。 |
| 674 | And so we did it. | 所以,我们做到了。 |
| 675 | We did it. | 我们成功了 |
| 676 | We went to a | 我们去了一个 |
| 677 | lab and we did it. | 实验室和我们做到了。 |
| 678 | And then we waited patiently for the results. | 然后我们耐心等待结果。 |
| 679 | And I'll never forget the day | 我永远不会忘记这一天 |
| 680 | when he picked me up with his new wife or whatever. | 当他接我和他的新妻子什么的。 |
| 681 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 682 | You know, it's like, | 你知道,这就像, |
| 683 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 684 | Wife, girlfriend, whoever it was. | 老婆 女朋友 不管是谁 |
| 685 | What was her name? | 她叫什么来着? |
| 686 | I don't even know. | 我什至不晓得。 |
| 687 | No, I remember. | 不,我记得 |
| 688 | I'm kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| 689 | I just didn't like her. | 我只是不喜欢她 |
| 690 | But I didn't like him either. | 但我也不喜欢他 |
| 691 | Don't get it | 你不要这样 |
| 692 | twisted. | 扭曲。 |
| 693 | I'll never forget when they picked me up and there was kind of like, I knew that this was | 我永远不会忘记 当他们来接我的时候... ... ...... |
| 694 | they were going to give me the results. | 他们打算给我结果 |
| 695 | And there was this kind of tension in the air, | 空气中出现了这种紧张 |
| 696 | this kind of silence, awkward silence, tension, something in the air when I got in the car. | 这种沉默,尴尬的沉默,紧张, 东西在空中 当我上车。 |
| 697 | But I'm just like, okay. | 但我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 698 | Secretly, I was thinking probably he's not my father. | 秘密地,我在想他是不是我父亲。 |
| 699 | They want to tell me | 他们想告诉我 |
| 700 | in person because they want to say, he wants to say, oh, but I still feel like I'm your father | 因为他们想说,他想说,哦,但我仍然感觉我是你父亲 |
| 701 | and he's going to do this emotional thing. | 他将会做这种情感的事情。 |
| 702 | And I need to just, even though I'm probably going to | 我需要只是, 尽管我可能要去 |
| 703 | be happy, I need to just pretend like be serious and be respectful because I understand that this | 高兴点,我需要假装认真点 尊重别人 因为我明白 |
| 704 | is hard for him. | 对他来说很难 |
| 705 | So I was just like, Hey guys, what's up? | 所以,我只是喜欢, 嘿,伙计们,怎么了? |
| 706 | How you know, how you doing blah, blah, | 你怎么知道,你怎么样 诸如此类, |
| 707 | trying to be civil, trying to be respectful. | 努力做到文明,努力做到尊重. |
| 708 | We go to a restaurant and we sit down in the restaurant. | 我们去一家餐厅,坐在餐厅里 |
| 709 | The waitress takes our order. | 服务员听我们吩咐 |
| 710 | And then after he told me, he told me the results were negative. | 然后他告诉我,他告诉我 结果是负面的。 |
| 711 | He is not my father. | 他不是我父亲 |
| 712 | William, you are not the father. | 威廉 你不是父亲 |
| 713 | And I immediately was extremely relieved, | 我立即感到非常宽慰, |
| 714 | extremely happy. | 非常快乐 |
| 715 | And that tells you everything you need to know. | 这告诉你所有你需要知道的 |
| 716 | But I didn't want to show this joy. | 但我不想展示这种快乐。 |
| 717 | So I just tried to maintain seriousness, like, okay, okay, okay. | 所以我试图保持严肃, 像,好吧,好吧,好吧。 |
| 718 | And he's telling me, | 他告诉我, |
| 719 | but this doesn't change how I feel. | 但这并不改变我的感受 |
| 720 | I'm always going to be a father. | 我永远会是一个父亲。 |
| 721 | But yeah, he's telling me | 但是,他告诉我 |
| 722 | how he just, he got really mad at my mom. | 他对我妈很生气 |
| 723 | He was swearing about my mom and he was angry toward her, | 他发誓说我妈妈 他对她生气 |
| 724 | which is reasonable, justified. | 这是合理的,合理的。 |
| 725 | Of course he has every right to be angry at my mom. | 他当然有权利对我妈生气 |
| 726 | And thankfully | 谢天谢地 |
| 727 | she was not there. | 她不在场。 |
| 728 | She already died. | 她已经死了。 |
| 729 | So, cause if she was alive, she probably would have never heard | 所以,因为 如果她还活着, 她可能永远不会听到 |
| 730 | the end that. | 结束这一点。 |
| 731 | And yeah, she probably should have had to face that consequence of her action. | 是的,她可能不得不面对 她的行为的后果。 |
| 732 | Yeah, | 对 |
| 733 | she should have. | 她应该有。 |
| 734 | That was so wrong of her. | 这太错了她。 |
| 735 | But well, she avoided that one. | 但是,她避免了那个。 |
| 736 | And then he asked me, | 然后他问我, |
| 737 | William asked me, like, why did you, why did you decide to bring this up now? | 威廉问我,像,为什么你, 为什么你决定 现在提出这个? |
| 738 | Why did you decide | 你为什么决定 |
| 739 | to tell me now and to do all of this now? | 现在告诉我,现在做这一切? |
| 740 | Why now? | 为什么是现在? |
| 741 | And to me, I'm like, bro, isn't it obvious? | 对我来说,我就像,兄弟, 是不是很明显? |
| 742 | Isn't it obvious? | 这不明显吗? |
| 743 | You're being like a tyrant and this is the only way for me to | 你像个暴君 这是我唯一的办法 |
| 744 | break free from you. | 离开你 |
| 745 | But I told him, like, I just wanted to know. | 但我告诉他,喜欢, 我只是想知道。 |
| 746 | I'm just curious. | 我只是有点好奇 |
| 747 | Just curious. | 只是好奇罢了 |
| 748 | Like, bro, are you stupid? | 像,兄弟,你傻吗? |
| 749 | Are you stupid? | 你傻吗? |
| 750 | Obviously you're an authoritarian | 很明显你是个独裁者 |
| 751 | prick. | 阴茎。 |
| 752 | You're, you're an asshole. | 你是,你是一个混蛋。 |
| 753 | Like you're, you're so messed up. | 就像你一样,你太乱了 |
| 754 | I hate you. | 我讨厌你 |
| 755 | The hell? | 见鬼? |
| 756 | Of course I'm happy about not being your biological daughter. | 我当然很高兴没有做你的亲生女儿 |
| 757 | You can't act like you can | 你不能表现得像自己 |
| 758 | control me, even though you're still on my birth certificate. | 尽管你还在我的出生证上 |
| 759 | He is. | 没错 |
| 760 | He's still on my birth | 他还在我出生的时候 |
| 761 | certificate. | 证书。 |
| 762 | And, and I still have his last name. | 我还有他的姓 |
| 763 | So, but yeah, but I was, I was okay because I knew | 所以,但是是的, 但我是,我没事 因为我知道 |
| 764 | this was hard for him. | 这对他来说很难 |
| 765 | And yeah, I spent a good amount of my childhood with him. | 是的,我花了很多时间 与他的童年。 |
| 766 | So I was okay | 所以我没事 |
| 767 | with being, I was okay with continuing like to call him dad and to treat him like my father. | 和父亲一样对待他 |
| 768 | But I just wanted him to know that like legally he doesn't have the right to force me to live with | 但我只想让他知道 法律上他无权强迫我 |
| 769 | him. | 他,他是谁? |
| 770 | That's all I wanted. | 这就是我想要的。 |
| 771 | You could, you could be my dad and take me to go get ice cream and | 你可以做我爸爸 带我去吃冰淇淋 |
| 772 | whatever. | 随便吧 |
| 773 | We can ha ha and have dad daughter time, but do not force me to live with you. | 我们可以有爸爸的女儿时间, 但不要强迫我和你一起生活。 |
| 774 | So I got | ┮и眔 |
| 775 | what I wanted and that's what I wanted. | 我想要的,这就是我想要的。 |
| 776 | And yeah. | 对 |
| 777 | So after he told me we were in the restaurant, | 所以在他告诉我我们在餐厅后 |
| 778 | right. | 对 |
| 779 | And I go to the bath, I say, I need to go to the bathroom. | 我得去洗个澡 我得去洗手间 |
| 780 | So I go to the bathroom | 所以我去厕所 |
| 781 | and I'm in the bathroom by myself and I'm just like, yes, thank you. | 我一个人在洗手间里,谢谢 |
| 782 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 783 | I was so happy. | 我很高兴。 |
| 784 | I was celebrating so hard in the bathroom. | 我在洗手间很辛苦地庆祝 |
| 785 | I was like, yes. | 我很喜欢,是的。 |
| 786 | Like I went in the stall, | 就像我走进摊子一样 |
| 787 | the toilet stall. | 厕所 |
| 788 | I was like, oh my God, I wanted, I want to have a party. | 我当时想,哦,我的上帝, 我想,我想有一个党。 |
| 789 | It's just so happy. | 真开心 |
| 790 | It's | 这是 |
| 791 | such a happy moment. | 这么开心的时刻 |
| 792 | It's such a joyful moment in my life. | 我生命中如此快乐的时刻 |
| 793 | So much relief. | 如此解脱. |
| 794 | And yeah, of course there | 当然了 |
| 795 | was like a little bit of like, oh yeah, he's really not my dad. | 有点像,哦,是啊,他真的不是我爸爸。 |
| 796 | You know, obviously I have good | 你知道,显然我有很好的 |
| 797 | memories with him from my childhood. | 我小时候和他在一起的回忆 |
| 798 | Obviously I have good memories with him. | 显然我和他有美好的回忆 |
| 799 | There were many times | 有过很多次 |
| 800 | he was a good dad, you know, a normal dad, but a good dad, you know, of course, of course, | 他是个好爸爸,你知道, 一个正常的爸爸, 但是个好爸爸,你知道, 当然, |
| 801 | my family always likes to remind me that when I was little, when I was really little, he was | 我的家人总是喜欢提醒我, 当我很小, 当我真的很小,他是 |
| 802 | a good dad, you know, and I loved him. | 一个好爸爸,你知道, 我爱他。 |
| 803 | Of course, when kids are little, they worship their parents, | 当然,当孩子很小, 他们崇拜他们的父母, |
| 804 | you know, when their kids are little, they think their parents are the best thing ever and they | 你知道,当他们的孩子是小, 他们认为他们的父母是最好的事情,他们 |
| 805 | gods and, you know, it's very easy to be loved by little children. | 和,你知道,这是非常容易 被小孩子们爱。 |
| 806 | And yeah, he, he's not a bad guy | 对,他不是坏人 |
| 807 | necessarily in general. | 绝对是一般的。 |
| 808 | And yeah, he always would play with me, play with me and joke around with me | 是啊,他总是和我玩 和我玩 和我开玩笑 |
| 809 | and, you know, spoil me. | 而且,你知道,宠坏我。 |
| 810 | And yeah, I mean, I have a lot of good memories of him when I was a little | 是的,我的意思是,我有很多好的回忆 他的时候,我有点 |
| 811 | kid. | 孩子们。 |
| 812 | And I recognize that and I acknowledge that. | 我承认这一点,我承认这一点。 |
| 813 | And it's a little sad. | 则稍悲. |
| 814 | It's a little sad to think | 想起来有点悲哀 |
| 815 | about that and stuff. | 关于那个之类的。 |
| 816 | But you don't get a free pass to treat me however you want when I'm a | 但你没有免费的通行证 来对待我 当我是一个 |
| 817 | teenager, just because you played Barbies with me when I was four, you know, or eight or whatever. | 青少年,只是因为你玩芭比 和我,当我四,你知道,或八或什么的。 |
| 818 | Just you don't, you can't just, you don't get like a free pass. | 只是你没有,你不能只是, 你没有得到像自由通行证。 |
| 819 | People, a lot of people don't | 很多人不会 |
| 820 | understand this, but I think times are changing and younger generations are starting to realize | 但是我觉得时代正在改变 年轻一代开始意识到 |
| 821 | this. | 这个 |
| 822 | This idea that we need to stop objectifying children. | 这个想法,我们需要停止 将儿童作为对象。 |
| 823 | They're not your property that you can | 他们不是你可以拥有的财产 |
| 824 | just do what you want with. | 随你便 |
| 825 | They are people. | 他们是人。 |
| 826 | You need to respect them. | 你要尊重他们 |
| 827 | And you don't have the right, | 而你没有权利 |
| 828 | once they get to a certain age, when they're little, okay, whatever, as long as you're not | 一旦他们到了某个年龄, 当他们很小, 好吧,随便,只要你不是 |
| 829 | like abusing them, like, okay, you're their parent, whatever. | 就像虐待他们一样,好吧,你是他们的父母,什么的。 |
| 830 | But, but I would say when they're | 但我会说,当他们 |
| 831 | teenager twenties, when they're an adult or they're getting to be adult age, you don't have a right | 二十几岁,当他们成年了 或者他们成年了,你没有权利 |
| 832 | to be in your child's life. | 在你孩子的生活中。 |
| 833 | That is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 834 | Just because you are a blood family or just because | 只是因为你是一个血族或仅仅因为 |
| 835 | you raised someone does not mean you have a right to be in their life when they're older. | 你养大一个人,并不意味着你有权利 在他们的生活,当他们长大。 |
| 836 | It is a | 这是一个 |
| 837 | privilege. | 特权。 |
| 838 | You don't get respect just by being related to someone or older than someone. | 你不只是因为与某个人或比某个人年长的人有亲戚关系而得到尊重. |
| 839 | Respect | 尊重 |
| 840 | is earned. | 被获取。 |
| 841 | So, so yeah, so when my family always tells me like, he was a good dad when you were | 所以,所以是的,所以当我的家人 总是告诉我喜欢, 他是个好爸爸,当你是 |
| 842 | little, I'm just like, okay. | 一点点,我只是喜欢,好吗。 |
| 843 | And, you know, it's not good enough. | 而且,你知道,这还不够好。 |
| 844 | It's easy to be a dad when | 做爸爸很简单 |
| 845 | your child is three and, you know, is super easy. | 你的孩子是三,你知道, 超级容易。 |
| 846 | But what about when your child is 13? | 但你的孩子13岁的时候呢? |
| 847 | Can you be a good dad when your child is 13? | 你的孩子13岁的时候能当个好爸爸吗? |
| 848 | What about when your child is 23? | 你的孩子23岁时怎么办? |
| 849 | Can you be a good | 你能成为一个好人吗? |
| 850 | dad when your child is 23? | 23岁的时候爸爸? |
| 851 | So, yeah. | 对 |
| 852 | So that's that. | 就这样 |
| 853 | And so I went that year, I went to go live | 于是我去了那一年,我去了生活 |
| 854 | with my mom's sister and aunt and I lived with her and I had two more years of high school | 我跟我妈的姐姐和阿姨住在一起 我又读了两年高中 |
| 855 | before I graduated. | 在我毕业之前 |
| 856 | But I because of my state, my state allows some students, like my state allows | 但我因为我的状态, 我的状态允许一些学生, 就像我的状态允许 |
| 857 | you to combine the last two years into one year if you want to. | 如果你愿意的话,你将把过去两年合并为一年。 |
| 858 | So that's what I did because I | 所以这就是我所做的,因为我 |
| 859 | didn't like school and I wanted to get out. | 不喜欢上学 我想出去 |
| 860 | And yeah, so and I was tired of living with my family | 是的,所以我厌倦了和家人住在一起 |
| 861 | and I just wanted I wanted freedom. | 我只想要自由,我却想要自由 |
| 862 | I wanted to leave my state and I so I combine the | 我想离开我的州 所以我结合 |
| 863 | I combine the last two years. | 我结合过去两年。 |
| 864 | I graduated that that year when I was 16 and I was able to get | 16岁那年我毕业,我得到了 |
| 865 | enough financial aid to allow me to go to college in Florida. | 足够我上佛罗里达大学的财政援助 |
| 866 | So I went to school, went to college | 所以我去学校,上大学 |
| 867 | in Florida. | 在佛罗里达州。 |
| 868 | So then I was kind of free. | 所以我就有点自由了 |
| 869 | I was you know, I was I left my home state. | 我离开了我的家乡 |
| 870 | I was far away | 我远道而来 |
| 871 | from from Maine from all my family and I was going to school and I was living there and I | 从缅因州 从我所有的家庭 我上学 我住在那里,我 |
| 872 | yeah. | 对 |
| 873 | So that was the last time that I saw him. | 那是我最后一次见到他 |
| 874 | OK, but I need to go back. | 好吧,但我必须回去。 |
| 875 | I need to rewind | 我要倒车 |
| 876 | because it's an important part of the story I forgot to tell you. | 因为这是我忘了告诉你的故事的重要部分。 |
| 877 | So during this last year | 所以去年这段日子 |
| 878 | of high school, after I found out that William is not my father and while I was living with my aunt, | 高中的时候,我发现威廉不是我父亲 当我和我姨妈住在一起时, |
| 879 | I was curious about this Vincent guy. | 我对这个文森特很好奇 |
| 880 | I said, OK, well, if William's not my father, then | 我说,好吧,好吧, 如果威廉不是我父亲,那么 |
| 881 | Vincent must be my father. | 文森特一定是我父亲 |
| 882 | So I remembered Vincent's full name and I started to search | 所以我想起文森特的全名 我开始搜索 |
| 883 | on the Internet and I found a guy with this name on Facebook and he looked like maybe he could be | 在互联网上,我发现一个家伙 与这个名字在Facebook上, 他看起来像他可能 |
| 884 | my father. | 我的父亲。 |
| 885 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 886 | We didn't look super alike, but maybe. | 我们看起来不是超级相似,但也许。 |
| 887 | And it's hard because I was | 这很难,因为我 |
| 888 | a teenage girl. | 一个少女。 |
| 889 | It's hard to compare to like a father aged man, you know, in physical appearance | 很难比得上一个像父亲的老人, 你知道,在外表上 |
| 890 | were very different. | 不一样 |
| 891 | But yeah, I don't know. | 不过是的,我不知道。 |
| 892 | My aunt said we looked alike. | 我姨妈说我们长得像 |
| 893 | I didn't really see it. | 我没有看到它。 |
| 894 | But anyway, so I contacted this guy and I asked him if he remembered my mom and he said he did. | 但无论如何, 所以我联系了这家伙, 我问他是否记得我妈妈, 他说他做到了。 |
| 895 | So I said, OK, so this is the guy then. | 所以我说,好吧,这就是那个人。 |
| 896 | And I told him I told him what everything my mom told me. | 我告诉他,我告诉他什么 我妈妈告诉我。 |
| 897 | And he obviously was surprised, but I think he reacted pretty good. | 显然他很惊讶 但我觉得他的反应很好 |
| 898 | He seemed like a very | 他看起来像一个非常 |
| 899 | genuine guy. | 真实的人。 |
| 900 | He seemed to be genuinely interested, happy. | 他看起来很感兴趣,很快乐 |
| 901 | He was happy to talk to me, | 他很高兴能和我说话 |
| 902 | to get to know me. | 来了解我 |
| 903 | He thought there is a chance I am your father. | 他以为我是你父亲 |
| 904 | He was living in a different | 他住的地方不一样 |
| 905 | part of the country. | 国家的一部分。 |
| 906 | He had his own family. | 他有自己的家庭。 |
| 907 | He had two kids that were younger than me, obviously. | 显然他有两个比我小的孩子 |
| 908 | And yeah, so we started to we started to talk, like to get to know each other. | 是的,所以我们开始 我们开始交谈, 喜欢了解对方。 |
| 909 | We started to talk on the phone, like multiple times a week. | 我们开始通过电话交谈, 就像每周多次。 |
| 910 | Like he would call me after school | 好像放学后会打电话给我一样 |
| 911 | and we would just talk. | 我们只是谈谈。 |
| 912 | I don't know why we talked so long before getting a attorney test. | 我不知道为什么我们在接受律师测试前 已经聊了这么久 |
| 913 | I think we were trying to figure out how to do it because we were in different places. | 我想我们试图找出 如何做到这一点,因为我们是在不同的地方。 |
| 914 | But I was waiting for him to figure it out. | 但我在等他想出来 |
| 915 | I think he was busy with a lot of things going on. | 我觉得他忙着很多事情 |
| 916 | But he made time to talk to me and get to know me. | 但他有时间跟我说话 了解我 |
| 917 | And he seemed like a cool guy. | 他看起来是个很酷的家伙 |
| 918 | And I was like, | 我当时想, |
| 919 | oh, this would be cool if he was my dad. | 哦,这将是很酷,如果他是我爸爸。 |
| 920 | I wasn't looking for a father figure. | 我不是在找一个父亲 |
| 921 | I never was looking | 我从不看 |
| 922 | for a father figure. | 对于一个父亲人物。 |
| 923 | I just wanted to know who my biological father was because I was interested | 我只是想知道我生父是谁 因为我有兴趣 |
| 924 | in knowing what he looks like, what his genetics are, what his personality is like. | 知道他的长相 遗传学 个性 |
| 925 | Because I would | 因为我会 |
| 926 | like to know who my biological father is so that I can see how we compare what we have in common, | 想知道我的亲生父亲是谁 这样我就能看到我们如何比较 我们的共同点 |
| 927 | what things I might get from him. | 我可能从他那里得到什么 |
| 928 | I think that's interesting. | 我认为这很有趣。 |
| 929 | Who wouldn't want to know who their | 誰不想知道他們是誰 |
| 930 | biological parents are? | 亲生父母是? |
| 931 | Just out of curiosity. | 出于好奇 |
| 932 | But I wasn't looking to live with him or move | 但我不想和他住在一起,也不想搬家 |
| 933 | to where he is. | 到他现在的位置 |
| 934 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 935 | And so finally he ordered a paternity test. | 最后他下令进行亲子鉴定 |
| 936 | And so how it works | 所以它是如何运作的 |
| 937 | is through the mail. | 是通过邮件。 |
| 938 | So they sent me a little test. | 所以他们送我一个小测试。 |
| 939 | So I take a swab of my saliva or whatever | 所以我用我的唾液或别的什么 |
| 940 | and I mail it out. | 我把它寄出来。 |
| 941 | And so we did that kind of a thing because we were living in different places. | 所以我们做了这种事情,因为我们生活在不同的地方。 |
| 942 | And then finally we got the result. | 最后我们得到了结果。 |
| 943 | And it was negative, which means he is not my father. | 这是负面的, 这意味着他不是我父亲。 |
| 944 | And we were both very surprised because, like I said, my mom never gave me another | 我们都很惊讶,因为,就像我说的, 我妈妈从来没有给我另一个 |
| 945 | name. | 名称。 |
| 946 | So I didn't know, well, if it's not him, who would it be? | 所以我不知道,如果不是他,那会是谁呢? |
| 947 | Everybody was shocked. | 每个人都很震惊。 |
| 948 | My aunt, | 我姑妈 |
| 949 | my grandma, like everybody was like, I don't believe that. | 我奶奶,就像大家一样 我不相信 |
| 950 | To this day, I think my aunt and | 直到今天,我觉得我姨妈 |
| 951 | grandma think that he somehow faked it or they think that he faked the test or he did something | 奶奶觉得他弄错了 或者他们觉得他伪造了测试 或者他做了一些事情 |
| 952 | to mess it up. | 弄得一团糟 |
| 953 | But they never really talked to him. | 但他们从来没有真正跟他说话。 |
| 954 | I talked to him for months. | 我跟他谈了几个月 |
| 955 | Yes, I was 16 | 是的,我16岁 |
| 956 | years old. | 岁. |
| 957 | And you never know. | 你永远不知道。 |
| 958 | Somebody might seem like an honest person and then they're really | 可能有人看起来像一个诚实的人 然后他们真的 |
| 959 | not. | 没有 |
| 960 | I don't think he faked it. | 我不认为他伪造的。 |
| 961 | They think he faked it. | 他们认为是他伪造的 |
| 962 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 963 | But he seemed very surprised | 但他看起来很惊讶 |
| 964 | by the result. | 由结果。 |
| 965 | And so he decided to order another one. | 于是他决定再订购一个. |
| 966 | And it wasn't cheap. | 且不贵. |
| 967 | It was kind of expensive. | 有点贵 |
| 968 | He ordered another one because he just he didn't believe the result. | 他又订了一个 因为他不相信结果 |
| 969 | That's what he said. | 他就是这么说的 |
| 970 | And so | 这样 |
| 971 | we took another one, came back negative. | 我们又拿了一张, 回来负数。 |
| 972 | So at this point, it's kind of like you just have to accept | 所以,现在,这有点像 你只需要接受 |
| 973 | this guy is not your father. | 这家伙不是你的父亲。 |
| 974 | Unless you're my aunt or my grandma, they still think he is. | 除非你是我姨妈或祖母 他们仍然认为他是 |
| 975 | They think he faked it. | 他们认为是他伪造的 |
| 976 | I think they're in denial and they just, no, I don't really know if they | 我觉得他们是在否认 他们只是,不,我真的不知道他们是否 |
| 977 | still think that. | 还是这样想 |
| 978 | But yeah, I think they just didn't want to accept it. | 但我想他们只是不想接受 |
| 979 | My mom had many partners at the | 我妈妈有很多合伙人 |
| 980 | time and she was not doing well. | 时间,她表现不好。 |
| 981 | And she, yeah, there's more than just two options of who my | 她,是的,有 不止两个选择 谁是我的 |
| 982 | father is. | 父亲是。 |
| 983 | But I can accept, I believe it. | 但我可以接受,我相信这一点。 |
| 984 | And so, yeah, so it was a little sad because I think | 所以,是的,所以有点伤心 因为我觉得 |
| 985 | even this guy, Vincent, he was like a little, seemed a little disappointed that he's not my father | 文森特,他好像有点 有点失望,因为他不是我父亲 |
| 986 | because he had been talking to me for months and he thought we had a lot in common. | 因为我们有很多共同点 |
| 987 | And I think he | 我觉得他 |
| 988 | was a little disappointed, but he was like, OK, well, life goes on. | 有点失望, 但他喜欢,OK,好了,生活继续。 |
| 989 | But he was a nice guy and I | 但他是个好人和我 |
| 990 | never got any sign. | 从来没有任何迹象。 |
| 991 | I never felt any sign of like shadiness, like not being a genuine person, | 我从来没有觉得任何迹象 像影子, 像不是一个真正的人, |
| 992 | like lying or not having good intentions. | 喜欢说谎或没有好意。 |
| 993 | I never felt that. | 我从来没有这种感觉。 |
| 994 | I felt like he was very genuine. | 我觉得他很真诚 |
| 995 | So that happened with Vincent. | 文森特就是这样 |
| 996 | So here I am. | 所以我在这里。 |
| 997 | OK, William's not my father. | 威廉不是我父亲 |
| 998 | Vincent's not my father. | 文森特不是我父亲 |
| 999 | Who is it? | 是谁? |
| 1000 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1001 | Nobody has any names. | 没人知道名字 |
| 1002 | Only my mom would know. | 只有我妈知道 |
| 1003 | This is | 这是 |
| 1004 | what I thought. | 和我想的一样 |
| 1005 | Nobody knows. | 没有人知道。 |
| 1006 | Nobody's saying anything. | 没有人在说什么。 |
| 1007 | So the years go by. | 故岁月往. |
| 1008 | Like I told you | 我告诉过你 |
| 1009 | in my last video, I went to Florida for a few years. | 在我最后的录像里,我去了佛罗里达州几年。 |
| 1010 | I moved to Ecuador. | 我搬到了厄瓜多尔。 |
| 1011 | I lived in the Amazon | 我住在亚马逊 |
| 1012 | in Ecuador for years. | 在厄瓜多尔多年。 |
| 1013 | I didn't go back to my home state. | 未回故国. |
| 1014 | I didn't go back to Maine until 10 years | 我10年才回缅因州 |
| 1015 | later, until I was 26. | 后来,直到我26岁。 |
| 1016 | I left when I was 16. | 我16岁时就离开了 |
| 1017 | I went back when I was 26. | 我26岁时回去了 |
| 1018 | That is when I started | 从那时开始 |
| 1019 | to try to rekindle my relationships with my family members. | 试着重燃我和家人的关系 |
| 1020 | I started to try to like start over, | 我开始尝试喜欢重新开始, |
| 1021 | like clean slate. | 像干净的板块。 |
| 1022 | Let's let's start over. | 让我们重新开始吧。 |
| 1023 | What happened in the past? | 过去发生了什么? |
| 1024 | I'm older now. | 我现在老了 |
| 1025 | Ten years have gone by. | 十年过去了 |
| 1026 | I've I've gone through healing and growing up and, you know, | 我经历了治愈和成长,你知道, |
| 1027 | I think I've dealt with some of my trauma and whatever. | 我想我已经处理了一些我的创伤和什么的。 |
| 1028 | I understand that we are very different | 我知道我们很不一样 |
| 1029 | and my family members did a lot of things that I would never do. | 我家人做了很多我永远不会做的事 |
| 1030 | But, you know, everybody is | 但是,你知道,每个人都是 |
| 1031 | living for the first time. | 第一次活着。 |
| 1032 | Everybody is living for the first time in this life, in this in their | 每个人都是第一次 生活在这个生命中,在他们 |
| 1033 | current body. | 现在的身体。 |
| 1034 | Even if you believe in reincarnation, everybody is, you know, was born very recently, | 即使你相信转世, 每个人都是,你知道, 出生最近, |
| 1035 | at least in this lifetime. | 至少在这一辈子里 |
| 1036 | And so we all are just trying to figure out life as we go and we all have | 所以,我们都在试图 找出生活,因为我们走了,我们都有 |
| 1037 | different experiences and we all make different decisions and think differently and whatever. | 不同的经历,我们都做出不同的决定, 不同的思考,什么的。 |
| 1038 | So I'll never forget things, but I forgive my family for everything that they ever did that I | 所以我永远不会忘记一切 但我原谅了我的家人 |
| 1039 | didn't like or hurt me or whatever. | 不喜欢或伤害我什么的。 |
| 1040 | There's so much more to the story, obviously, of my childhood | 很明显,我的童年故事还有很多 |
| 1041 | that I didn't share, because that's not what this video is about. | 我没有分享, 因为这不是这个视频的内容。 |
| 1042 | But I had a pretty good childhood | 但我有一个相当好的童年 |
| 1043 | in some ways, but in other ways, I had a pretty rough time. | 在某些方面,但在其他方面, 我有一个相当艰难的时间。 |
| 1044 | Childhood was very hard for me. | 童年对我来说非常艰难。 |
| 1045 | I don't for a second wish I could be a kid again. | 我不希望我再次成为孩子 |
| 1046 | You know how some adults wish that | 你知道一些成年人希望这样 |
| 1047 | they could be a kid again? | 他们可能还是个孩子? |
| 1048 | I don't wish that for a second. | 我并不想那样 |
| 1049 | The freedom that I have as an adult, | 我作为成年人所拥有的自由 |
| 1050 | the peace that I have as an adult that I couldn't get as a child. | 我作为一个成年人拥有的平静 我无法从小获得 |
| 1051 | There are no words. | 无有言语. |
| 1052 | I felt like a prisoner as a child. | 我小时候感觉像个囚犯 |
| 1053 | I felt like I was forced to live with people and live in a | 我觉得我被迫和人生活在一起 |
| 1054 | certain way that I didn't want, that I didn't want. | 某种方式,我不想, 我不想。 |
| 1055 | So, yeah. | 对 |
| 1056 | So I struggled a lot in my childhood | 所以我在童年时期挣扎了很久 |
| 1057 | and I went through a lot and I needed those 10 years. | 我经历了很多,我需要那10年。 |
| 1058 | I needed those four years in the Amazon | 我需要那四年在亚马逊 |
| 1059 | to just like scream into the jungle and sleep in the jungle. | 就像在丛林里尖叫 睡在丛林里 |
| 1060 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1061 | So the years went by and at 26 | 过了26岁 |
| 1062 | years old, I went back, I did a big family visit and I gave everybody a fresh chance. | 年老,我回去,我做了一个大 探亲,我给每个人一个新的机会。 |
| 1063 | And now I'm | 现在我 |
| 1064 | 28. | 28岁 |
| 1065 | I'm turning 28 this month and I think I have a good relationship with everybody except William. | 这个月我28岁了 我和除了威廉以外的人的关系很好 |
| 1066 | And I'm not going to get into this too much, but all I can say is I tried. | 但我只能说我尽力了 |
| 1067 | I tried. | 我试过了 |
| 1068 | I tried to give | 我想给 |
| 1069 | William another chance, a clean slate like I gave everybody else. | 威廉又一次机会,一个干净的板子 就像我给其他人一样。 |
| 1070 | My stepdad, my stepmom, my aunt, | 我的继父、继母、姨妈 |
| 1071 | my grandma. | 我的外婆,我爱她 |
| 1072 | I tried to, hey, nice to meet you. | 我试着,嘿,很高兴见到你。 |
| 1073 | Let's start over. | 让我们重新开始。 |
| 1074 | I did. | 没错 |
| 1075 | I really tried, but | 我真的试过了,但是 |
| 1076 | I tried to talk to him on the phone. | 我想和他通过电话 |
| 1077 | I even tried to hang out with him in person and I just | 我甚至想亲自和他出去玩 |
| 1078 | couldn't do it. | 不能做到这一点。 |
| 1079 | I tried and I couldn't. | 我试过了,但我不能。 |
| 1080 | I can't. | 我没办法 |
| 1081 | It made me very upset for a lot of reasons. | 这让我非常不高兴 有很多原因。 |
| 1082 | And I just realized that, you know, as a kid I was, I felt forced, I felt pressured to hang out | 我只是意识到,你知道,作为一个孩子 我感到被迫,我感到压力 挂出 |
| 1083 | with this person, to talk to this person, whatever, to have this person in my life. | 和这个人, 和这个人说话,不管什么, 有这个人在我的生活中。 |
| 1084 | And I don't want | 我也不想这样 |
| 1085 | to, as an adult, continue that pressure, continue to pressure myself or to let other people pressure | 作为成年人,继续承受这种压力,继续自我施压或让其他人施压 |
| 1086 | me to maintain a relationship with this person that I don't want in my life. | 我和这个我这辈子不想有的人保持关系 |
| 1087 | So I made the | 所以我做了一个 |
| 1088 | decision to cut ties with William, not because he's not my father, but because of our relationship | 决定和威廉断绝关系 不是因为他不是我父亲 而是因为我们的关系 |
| 1089 | or lack thereof. | 或没有。 |
| 1090 | He's just someone that I don't, I don't want to talk to. | 我只是不想和他说话 |
| 1091 | I don't want to hang out | 我不想闲逛 |
| 1092 | with. | 带。 |
| 1093 | He's not all bad. | 他不尽坏. |
| 1094 | Of course, there are good things about him. | 当然,他有好东西。 |
| 1095 | He's not a bad person, | 他不是一个坏人, |
| 1096 | necessarily. | 当然 |
| 1097 | But I just, I evaluated all the evidence. | 但我刚刚评估了所有的证据 |
| 1098 | I thought about everything, | 我考虑过一切 |
| 1099 | everything that I've ever learned about him, seen from him, witnessed and felt. | 我从他身上得知的一切,从他身上看到,见证和感受. |
| 1100 | And I, | 还有我 |
| 1101 | I decided that it's unfortunate. | 我决定这是不幸的。 |
| 1102 | It's unfortunate, but I need to do what's right for me. | 虽然很不幸 但我得做对的事 |
| 1103 | And | 还有 |
| 1104 | it is a privilege to be in my life. | 成为我生命中的荣耀 |
| 1105 | And unfortunately for him, I don't want to give him | 很遗憾,我不想给他 |
| 1106 | that privilege. | 那个特权。 |
| 1107 | So, yes, I don't, I don't believe this thing that, oh, just because they are your | 所以,是的,我不,我不相信 这件事情,哦,只是因为他们是你的 |
| 1108 | parent or your blood family or whatever, just because they were part of your childhood, you | 父母或你的血亲或什么的, 只是因为他们是 你童年的一部分,你 |
| 1109 | can't, you can't cut them off. | 不能,你不能切断他们。 |
| 1110 | You can't do, you know, I don't believe that. | 你不能这样做,你知道, 我不相信这一点。 |
| 1111 | I don't believe in | иぃ獺 |
| 1112 | that. | 那个 |
| 1113 | Yeah, that's not what I would teach my children. | 是啊,这不是我会 教我的孩子。 |
| 1114 | And if I have kids, I, I don't want | 如果我有孩子,我就不会 |
| 1115 | him in their life anyways. | 他的一生,无论如何。 |
| 1116 | So, so I made that decision to, to cut ties with him, to, to not | 所以,所以我做了那个决定, 切断与他的联系, 去,不 |
| 1117 | talk anymore. | 继续说 |
| 1118 | And he, he, he probably thinks that a big reason is because he's not my biological | 而他,他,他可能认为 一个大的原因 因为他不是我的生物 |
| 1119 | father. | 父亲 |
| 1120 | And that's unfortunate that he probably thinks that because that's, but because that's | 这很不幸,他可能认为 因为那是,但因为 |
| 1121 | not true. | 这不是真的。 |
| 1122 | But if that makes him feel better, so he doesn't feel like it's because I don't like him | 但是如果他感觉好点了 所以他不觉得是因为我不喜欢他 |
| 1123 | as a person, because that's really what it's about. | 作为一个人, 因为这就是它的真正目的。 |
| 1124 | I don't like him as a person and I don't | 我不喜欢他,我不喜欢他 |
| 1125 | want him in my life. | 想要他进入我的生活 |
| 1126 | It's not about, you know, so yeah, it's not about being my biological, | 这不是关于,你知道,所以是的, 这不是关于我的生物, |
| 1127 | it's not about relation. | 这不是关系。 |
| 1128 | My stepdad is not biologically related to me. | 我的继父跟我没有生理上的联系 |
| 1129 | And I, even though | 而我,虽然 |
| 1130 | my stepdad and I haven't always had the best relationship, I want that man to be a part of | 我的继父和我一直没有 最好的关系,我希望男人的一部分 |
| 1131 | my life. | 我的生活,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命,我的生命 |
| 1132 | And I will, yeah, I would never, I would never cut ties with him because I actually enjoy | 我会,是的,我永远不会, 我永远不会切断与他的联系 因为我实际上喜欢 |
| 1133 | talking to him and hanging out with him. | 和他说话 和他在一起 |
| 1134 | I think he actually adds to my life instead of takes away. | 我认为他实际上增加了我的生活 而不是带走。 |
| 1135 | So it's not about, yeah, same thing with my stepmom. | 所以,它不是,是的, 与我的继母一样。 |
| 1136 | So it's not, it's not about blood, | 所以不是,不是关于血, |
| 1137 | blood relation. | 血缘关系 |
| 1138 | But anyways, so however he's processing this is his business. | 但不管怎样,不管他正在处理什么 这是他的生意。 |
| 1139 | I don't know, | 我不知道,你觉得呢? |
| 1140 | but I obviously he's probably very upset about this. | 但我很显然 他可能对此很不高兴 |
| 1141 | I sent him a message and that I am ending | 我给他发了个信息,我要结束了 |
| 1142 | the relationship. | 关系。 |
| 1143 | And yeah, he, he's probably very upset about it, emotional, angry, whatever. | 是的,他,他可能非常 生气,情绪,愤怒,不管。 |
| 1144 | And so probably out of desperation and all this emotion and whatever, he ended up reaching out to | 所以也许出于绝望 和所有的情感,什么的, 他最后联系 |
| 1145 | my aunt, my, my mom's sister. | 我姨妈,我妈妈的妹妹 |
| 1146 | And, you know, they don't talk, but he probably had her number and | 而且,你知道,他们不说话, 但他可能有她的电话号码, |
| 1147 | was like, let me text her. | 让我给她发短信 |
| 1148 | So he texts her and he, he sends her the message that I sent him. | 所以他给她发了短信,然后,他给她发了我给他的信息。 |
| 1149 | And he says, like, kind of playing dumb, like, I don't, I don't know what this means. | 他说,像, 那种装傻, 像,我不知道这意味着什么。 |
| 1150 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 1151 | can you help me figure this out? | 你能帮我弄明白吗? |
| 1152 | Like, and my aunt is like, my, my aunt is very, she, yeah, she's just | 喜欢,我姨妈就像, 我姨妈是非常, 她,是的,她只是 |
| 1153 | like, it is what it is. | 就像,这是它是什么。 |
| 1154 | Like she's very logical by the book kind of person. | 就像她很合乎逻辑的书 那种人。 |
| 1155 | Like, yeah, she, she was | 喜欢,是的,她,她是 |
| 1156 | like, well, it looks, well, William, it looks pretty, pretty obvious what this is about. | 威廉,看起来很明显 |
| 1157 | | |
| 1158 | clearly does not want a relationship with you. | 显然不想和你发生关系 |
| 1159 | So yeah, it's not rocket science. | 所以,这不是火箭科学。 |
| 1160 | And he's like, | 他喜欢, |
| 1161 | okay, yeah, yeah, I, that's what I thought, but I wasn't sure. | 好吧,是的,是的,我是这样想的,但我不确定。 |
| 1162 | And yeah, I mean, I think my aunt, | 是的,我的意思是,我认为我的姨妈, |
| 1163 | my aunt, because she is a mother and she knows, you know, I think she has empathy for him too, | 我姨妈,因为她是母亲 她知道,你知道,我想她也同情他, |
| 1164 | you know, because obviously I empathize with any parent whose child does not want a relationship | 你知道,因为很明显我同情 任何父母 谁的孩子不希望有关系 |
| 1165 | with them because I know that that hurts. | 和他们在一起是因为我知道那很痛 |
| 1166 | That probably hurts like crazy, but I think that the | 可能痛得像疯了, 但我认为 |
| 1167 | child is justified. | 儿童是正当的。 |
| 1168 | I think if a child, no matter what their age is, if they, well, when they're an | 我认为,如果一个孩子,不管他们的年龄, 如果他们,当他们是一个 |
| 1169 | adult, if they don't want a relationship with you, even a teenager, if they don't want a | 成年了,如果他们不想和你交往, 即使是青少年,如果他们不想 |
| 1170 | relationship with you, I mean, even any age, even a child. | 和你的关系,我的意思是, 即使任何年龄,甚至一个孩子。 |
| 1171 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1172 | If, no matter the age, if any child | 如果,无论年龄,如果有任何孩子 |
| 1173 | does not want a relationship with their parent, it's the parent's fault. | 不想和父母有关系,这是父母的错。 |
| 1174 | It's never the child's | 这不是孩子的 |
| 1175 | fault. | 错 |
| 1176 | It's the parent's fault because why, why would they not want a relationship with you? | 这是父母的错,因为为什么, 他们为什么不想要和你的关系? |
| 1177 | You know, children want relationships with their parents. | 你知道,孩子想要 与父母的关系。 |
| 1178 | So to get to that point of deciding, | 所以为了达到决定的地步 |
| 1179 | nah, it's not worth it. | 不,这不值得。 |
| 1180 | It takes a lot to get to that point. | 说到这一点需要很多时间。 |
| 1181 | So that's on the parent to spend some | 所以,这是父母 花一些 |
| 1182 | time reflecting on how they let it get to that point. | 时间思考一下他们是如何让事情发展到那个地步的 |
| 1183 | It's usually not one thing. | 这通常不是一回事。 |
| 1184 | It's usually | 这通常 |
| 1185 | many things accumulating. | 许多东西积累。 |
| 1186 | So yeah. | 对啊 |
| 1187 | So my aunt probably empathizes with him, but at the same time | 所以我姨妈可能对他很同情 但与此同时 |
| 1188 | is like saying, you know, Lau is totally justified in her decision to do that. | 这就像说,你知道, 刘是完全正当的 她的决定这样做。 |
| 1189 | Sucks for you, | 为你感到恶心 |
| 1190 | William, but you know, she can make that decision. | 威廉,但你知道, 她可以做出这个决定。 |
| 1191 | And it's not like I made that decision. | 也不是我决定的 |
| 1192 | I gave | 我给了 |
| 1193 | him so much time. | 他有这么多的时间。 |
| 1194 | You know, I didn't make that decision when I was 18 and like just angry and, | 我18岁的时候没有做那个决定 就像生气一样 |
| 1195 | you know, no, I waited until I was 27 years old. | 你知道,不,我等待 直到我27岁。 |
| 1196 | I thought about this for a long time. | 我考虑过很久了 |
| 1197 | I gave him | 我给了他 |
| 1198 | many chances and I, yeah, I spent a lot of time thinking about this decision. | 很多机会,我,是的,我花了很多时间 想着这个决定。 |
| 1199 | And so it wasn't a | 所以它不是一个 |
| 1200 | hasty decision. | 仓促的决定。 |
| 1201 | It wasn't a decision made out of, you know, it wasn't a quick decision. | 这不是一个决定,你知道, 这不是一个快速的决定。 |
| 1202 | But so out | 但是这样 |
| 1203 | of all of this from all of this emotion, intense emotion and anger and frustration and whatever, | 所有这一切 从所有的情感, 强烈的情感和愤怒, 沮丧等等, |
| 1204 | or I don't know. | 或者说我不知道 |
| 1205 | I don't know if that's the reason or I don't know. | 我不知道这是原因还是原因 |
| 1206 | But for whatever reason, | 但是无论出于什么原因 |
| 1207 | for whatever reason, William told my aunt that he has two names of two potential fathers, two men | 不管什么原因,威廉都告诉我姑妈 他有两个名字 两个潜在的父亲,两个男人 |
| 1208 | that he knows that my mom was hanging out with, spending time with during the time that I was | 他知道我妈和我在一起 和我在一起的时候 |
| 1209 | conceived that could be my father. | 想到他可能是我父亲 |
| 1210 | He told my aunt that he has been sitting on these names | 他告诉我姑妈 他一直坐着这些名字 |
| 1211 | for years. | 几年来 |
| 1212 | Basically, since we found out he's not my father, he has known of these two names, | 基本上,我们发现他不是我父亲 他知道这两个名字 |
| 1213 | these two people, and he never told me. | 这些人,他从来没有告诉我。 |
| 1214 | Over 10 years later, like 11, 12 years later, | 10年后, 大约11,12年后, |
| 1215 | 11, 12 years have gone by and he never told me. | 11,12年过去了,他从来没有告诉我。 |
| 1216 | He knew, he knew that I wanted to know who my | 他知道,他知道我想知道 谁是我的 |
| 1217 | father was and he never revealed the names until, and maybe he would have never revealed them, | 父亲是,他从来没有透露 名字直到, 也许他永远不会透露他们, |
| 1218 | until I ended the relationship and then he told my aunt. | 直到我结束了关系 然后他告诉我姑妈 |
| 1219 | That's a good example of how problematic | 这是个好例子,说明问题多严重 |
| 1220 | he is. | 他确实在 |
| 1221 | Selfish, egotistical, you know. | 自私自利,自负,你知道的。 |
| 1222 | I understand that he wanted to be my father. | 我知道他想当我父亲 |
| 1223 | You didn't want | 你没有想要 |
| 1224 | somebody else to be. | 别人是。 |
| 1225 | But to guard that information, the ego, the selfishness, and that's the kind of | 但为了保护信息,自我,自私, 这就是那种 |
| 1226 | person he is. | 他是谁 |
| 1227 | There's many examples of this, you know. | 这个例子很多 |
| 1228 | Him not listening to me, forcing me to, | 他不听我的,强迫我 |
| 1229 | no, you need to live with me. | 不,你必须和我住在一起。 |
| 1230 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1231 | It's all selfishness. | 皆为自私. |
| 1232 | Even his political views, | 甚至他的政治观点 |
| 1233 | even his everything, you know, he posts on Facebook all the propaganda he believes, all the media he | 甚至他的一切,你知道, 他张贴在Facebook 所有他相信的宣传, 所有媒体他 |
| 1234 | believes. | 相信这一点。 |
| 1235 | Everything he thinks and does, I swear, is from having an inflated ego. | 我发誓,他所想和所做的一切 都来自自我膨胀 |
| 1236 | That's all those | 就这样 |
| 1237 | people that think that we should be deporting immigrants and ego, giant ego. | 认为我们应该驱逐移民和自我 巨大的自我 |
| 1238 | Their life sucks. | 他们的生活很糟 |
| 1239 | They don't know why it sucks. | 他们不知道为什么它很烂。 |
| 1240 | They want, they feel powerless in their life. | 他们想要,他们觉得生活中无能为力。 |
| 1241 | They want to blame other | 他们想怪别人 |
| 1242 | people for their problems. | 人们为自己的问题。 |
| 1243 | They want to control other people and other people's lives. | 他们想控制别人和其他人的生活. |
| 1244 | It's all | 没事 |
| 1245 | ego. | 自我主义。 |
| 1246 | Look at who they elected. | 看看他们选谁 |
| 1247 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1248 | He is the king of ego. | 他是自负的国王。 |
| 1249 | The President of the United | 安全理事会主席 |
| 1250 | States is the ego king. | 国家是自大之王。 |
| 1251 | It's all ego. | 都是自负 |
| 1252 | So it's an inflated ego, not being able to check yourself, | 因此,这是一个膨胀的自我, 无法检查自己, |
| 1253 | not being able to see your place, not being able to see how you create your problems. | 无法看到你的位置, 无法看到你如何制造你的问题。 |
| 1254 | You are | 琌 |
| 1255 | responsible for your problems, generally. | 对你的问题负总责 |
| 1256 | And yeah, I mean, he probably blames me for not wanting to | 是啊,我的意思是,他可能 怪我不愿意 |
| 1257 | have a relationship with him, but it's his fault, you know. | 和他有关系, 但这是他的错,你知道的。 |
| 1258 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1259 | People not being able to take | 无法接受的人 |
| 1260 | accountability. | 问责制。 |
| 1261 | This man, William, he has two, he is a felon because he has two domestic violence | 这个男人,威廉,他有两个, 他是一个重罪犯,因为他有两个家庭暴力 |
| 1262 | charges from his interactions with his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, someone. | 指控他与前妻或前女友的交往 |
| 1263 | Two. | 两个 |
| 1264 | Now, I don't know. | 现在,我不知道。 |
| 1265 | I don't know if this man ever laid a finger on someone. | 我不知道这个人有没有碰过别人 |
| 1266 | Maybe he did. | 也许他做到了。 |
| 1267 | Maybe he didn't. | 也许他没有 |
| 1268 | I never | 我从来没有 |
| 1269 | thought that William was physically abusive. | 以为威廉是身体虐待。 |
| 1270 | I never thought that he would be charged with | 我从没想过他会被指控 |
| 1271 | domestic violence. | 家庭暴力行为。 |
| 1272 | He never was toward me. | 他从来没有对我。 |
| 1273 | I never witnessed that. | 我从来没亲眼见过 |
| 1274 | I never heard that from | 我从来没有听说过 |
| 1275 | my mom, from my stepmom who were in a relationship with him for many years. | 我妈妈,从我的继母 谁与他多年的关系。 |
| 1276 | So I never thought that | 所以我从没想过 |
| 1277 | he was that kind of person. | 他就是这样的人。 |
| 1278 | I still don't think he's that kind of person. | 我还是觉得他不是那种人 |
| 1279 | But in order to get two | 但为了两个 |
| 1280 | domestic violence charges, you would have to not learn your lesson the first time, go back and | 家庭暴力指控,你不必 第一次吸取教训,回去 |
| 1281 | disrespect someone again. | 又不尊重别人 |
| 1282 | Even if you didn't touch them, you get the second one by having | 即使你没有碰他们, 你得到第二个通过有 |
| 1283 | an inflated ego thinking that you have the right to go bother someone. | 一个膨胀的自负 认为你有权去打扰某人。 |
| 1284 | Even if you're just verbally, | 即使你只是口头上, |
| 1285 | fighting with them, whatever, it's the ego. | 和他们战斗,不管怎样,都是自负 |
| 1286 | It's not being humble, it's not being humble. | 非谦非谦. |
| 1287 | by your first charge and thinking that you have the right to go bother a woman again. | 想到你有权再去骚扰一个女人 |
| 1288 | And yeah, he went to jail for a month for that. | 他为此入狱一个月 |
| 1289 | Probably should have been longer. | 也许应该更久些 |
| 1290 | And yeah, then he had this grand awakening and stopped drinking alcohol and | 对 然后他醒了 戒了酒 |
| 1291 | stopped being in relationships and seemed like his life was getting better and I'm happy for him. | 不再有关系了 似乎他的生活越来越好 我为他感到高兴 |
| 1292 | But I don't know, it's not enough. | 但我不知道,这还不够。 |
| 1293 | It's not enough to make him the type of person that I want to hang | 这不足以让他成为我想要绞死的人 |
| 1294 | out with. | 出来。 |
| 1295 | And yeah, that one day I hung out with him, it was bad. | 是啊,有一天我和他在一起,这是不好的。 |
| 1296 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1297 | Anyways, so that's that. | 总之,就是这样。 |
| 1298 | That's the story of, I don't know who my biological father is. | 故事是这样的 我不知道我的亲生父亲是谁 |
| 1299 | The names that he gave to my aunt, | 他给我姑妈的名字 |
| 1300 | I have the names, but now it's so late. | 我有名字,但现在太晚了。 |
| 1301 | It's so late that I don't care anymore. | 今已迟至不思议. |
| 1302 | I could try to | 我可以试着 |
| 1303 | contact, to find these people. | 联系人 找到这些人 |
| 1304 | Now that I have the names, I know the states that they lived in. | 现在我有了名字 我知道他们住的州 |
| 1305 | I just don't, I can't even be bothered. | 我只是没有,我甚至不能被打扰。 |
| 1306 | I don't even care anymore. | 我已经不在乎了 |
| 1307 | Like I'm not concerned. | 就像我不担心。 |
| 1308 | Maybe | 也许 |
| 1309 | I'll do it someday. | 总有一天我会的 |
| 1310 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1311 | I mean, I should probably do it sooner than later. | 我的意思是,我也许应该 做到这一点比晚。 |
| 1312 | They might die. | 他们可能会死 |
| 1313 | You know, if I wait too long, I don't know. | 你知道,如果我等待太长, 我不知道。 |
| 1314 | But I don't know. | 却不知. |
| 1315 | Like at this point, like why, | 就像现在,为什么, |
| 1316 | I'm just like, why? | 我只是喜欢,为什么? |
| 1317 | So I can see a picture, so I can see what they look like. | 所以我可以看到一张照片, 我可以看到它们是什么样子。 |
| 1318 | I mean, yeah, | 我是说,是的, |
| 1319 | I'm curious. | 我有点好奇 |
| 1320 | I still want to know, but like, I don't know if I want to put in the effort | 我还是想知道,但是,像, 我不知道,如果我想 努力 |
| 1321 | to try to find who these guys are. | 试着找出这些人是谁 |
| 1322 | And then not only would I have to find them, | 我不仅得找到他们 |
| 1323 | we'd have to do a paternity test. | 我们得做个亲子鉴定 |
| 1324 | And I don't even live in the United States and I don't want | 我甚至不 住在美国 我不想 |
| 1325 | to do all that. | 做这一切。 |
| 1326 | I don't want to do a paternity test again. | 我不想再做亲子鉴定了 |
| 1327 | I don't want to, it's like, I just | 我不想,这就像,我只是 |
| 1328 | don't care. | 别管了 |
| 1329 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 1330 | So I've just accepted that I don't know who my biological father is. | 所以我刚刚接受了 我不知道我的生父是谁 |
| 1331 | And I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1332 | I'm never going to know. | 我永远不会知道。 |
| 1333 | And I'm okay with that. | 我不介意这样 |
| 1334 | Cause that's, | 因为... |
| 1335 | that's what I thought it was. | 这就是我的想法。 |
| 1336 | I already accepted that before he told me the names, | 我已经接受了 在他告诉我名字之前 |
| 1337 | told my aunt the names. | 告诉了我阿姨名字 |
| 1338 | So, so I kind of feel like a, like an orphan because my mom died and I, | 所以我觉得自己像个孤儿 因为我妈妈死了 我 |
| 1339 | and I don't know who my biological father is and I don't want to have a relationship with | 我不知道我的生父是谁 我不想和他发生关系 |
| 1340 | 威廉 威廉 William. | |
| 1341 | But I have, but that's my choice. | 但我有,但这是我的选择。 |
| 1342 | And I have my stepmom, my stepdad, my aunt, | 我有继母、继父、姨妈 |
| 1343 | my brother, my grandma, and I'm happy with those family relationships that I have. | 我哥哥,我奶奶,我很高兴 与我的家庭关系。 |
| 1344 | I'm happy with that. | 我很高兴。 |
| 1345 | I feel good with that. | 我觉得很好。 |
| 1346 | And yeah, so I just wanted to share this story | 是的,所以我只是想分享这个故事 |
| 1347 | cause I, I don't know, I think it's an interesting story and you could probably learn a lot, | 因为我,我不知道, 我认为这是一个有趣的故事 你也许可以学到很多, |
| 1348 | a lot of English from it. | 很多英语从它。 |
| 1349 | And I've never really told the whole story from beginning to end like | 我从来没有真正说 整个故事从开始到结束 |
| 1350 | that with the latest updated details as well, because I just got the names. | 还有最新细节 因为我刚拿到名字 |
| 1351 | Like my aunt just | 就像我姨妈一样 |
| 1352 | texted me like a month ago or something, the names. | 一个月前给我发了短信 名字 |
| 1353 | So this is new. | 所以这是新的。 |
| 1354 | This is some news. | 这是新闻 |
| 1355 | So yeah, | 所以,没错, |
| 1356 | I've never, I've never told the whole story like this from beginning to end all in one go. | 我从来没有,我从来没有讲过 整个故事从开始到结束 在一个去。 |
| 1357 | So I | 所以说 |
| 1358 | kind of wanted to, to do it and yeah, it feels good. | 那种想,做它 是的,感觉很好。 |
| 1359 | And yeah, hopefully it wasn't too boring | 是的,希望它不会太无聊 |
| 1360 | or slow, but it was real. | 或慢,但这是真实的。 |
| 1361 | And that's the point of these, these kinds of videos. | 这就是这些视频的要点。 |
| 1362 | And if you don't | 如果你不这样做 |
| 1363 | like these kinds of videos, well, well, I think if you've made it to the end, you probably like | 像这些视频,嗯,嗯,嗯,我想 如果你已经做到这一点到最后,你可能喜欢 |
| 1364 | this kind of video. | 这种视频。 |
| 1365 | But if you, I probably should have said this at the beginning, but if you don't | 但是,如果你,我也许应该 说这个开头,但如果你不 |
| 1366 | like it, I will make other videos, like more English teaching style also, but, but I wanted | 喜欢它,我会做其他的视频, 像更多的英语教学风格 也,但我想 |
| 1367 | to make the, some, some kind of podcast style videos. | 制作一些播客风格的视频 |
| 1368 | So, and a lot of people seem to seem to | 所以,很多人似乎看起来 |
| 1369 | like it. | 喜欢它。 |
| 1370 | So, so once again, all of you who were telling me that you really appreciate and enjoy | 所以,所以再次,你们所有人 谁告诉我,你真的很欣赏和享受 |
| 1371 | this, this format, this kind of video and you like, yeah, you like the stories, the story time in | 这个,这个格式,这种视频 你喜欢,是的, 你喜欢故事,故事的时间在 |
| 1372 | English, I am happy to provide. | 英语,我很高兴提供。 |
| 1373 | And once again, I'm sorry about the noise. | 再说一遍,我对噪音感到抱歉 |
| 1374 | If, if you hear noises, | 如果你听到声音 |
| 1375 | I'm sure you do because yeah, main, main road in Lima and people are a lot, people are honking like | 我敢肯定,你这样做,因为是的,主干道 在利马和人们是很多, 人们在鸣叫像 |
| 1376 | crazy. | 疯了。 |
| 1377 | So much honking backing up big trucks. | 这么多的喇叭备份 大卡车。 |
| 1378 | I don't know why it's so, so loud right here, | 我不知道为什么这么吵 |
| 1379 | but it is. | 但它确实是。 |
| 1380 | And the windows it's the noise is coming from behind is because over there is like a | 窗户是来自后面的噪音 因为那边就像一个 |
| 1381 | kitchen and there's, there's windows that are like really thin and they don't really fully shut like | 厨房和有,有窗户 像真的薄,他们不 真的关闭像 |
| 1382 | well. | 不错 |
| 1383 | There's like, and they're just, they're too thin. | 好像,他们只是,他们太瘦了。 |
| 1384 | And yeah, there's just, there's a, there's a | 对,有,有,有 |
| 1385 | main road over there. | 那边的大路 |
| 1386 | Can you hear the, it's like so much honking. | 你能听到吗, 这就像这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1387 | I'm like, now it's probably | 我好像,现在可能 |
| 1388 | starting to get into rush hour, but yeah, so much honking. | 开始进入高峰时间, 但是是的,这么多的喇叭。 |
| 1389 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 1390 | Anyways, thank you for watching. | 无论如何,谢谢你的观看。 |
| 1391 | Thank you for listening. | 谢谢你的聆听 |
| 1392 | I appreciate you so much. | 非常感谢你 |
| 1393 | And yeah, overall I'm happy with my life. | 是的,总的来说,我很高兴我的生活。 |
| 1394 | And | 还有 |
| 1395 | despite, you know, everything that happened and everything that, that I told you, I'm doing, | 尽管,你知道, 发生的一切和所有的一切, 我告诉过你,我在做, |
| 1396 | I'm doing well, you know, it's been like 14 years almost since my mom died. | 我妈妈去世14年了 |
| 1397 | I don't regret | 我不会后悔的 |
| 1398 | cutting ties with William. | 切断与威廉的联系。 |
| 1399 | Like I said, I have a great relationship with the, with other family | 就像我说的,我和别人的关系很好 |
| 1400 | members. | 成员。 |
| 1401 | Overall, I'm doing good. | 总的来说,我做得很好。 |
| 1402 | I'm happy, happy with my life and myself. | 我很高兴,对我的生活和我自己快乐。 |
| 1403 | And yeah, and I hope you | 对,我希望你 |
| 1404 | are too, wherever you are. | 无论你在哪里 都一样 |
| 1405 | And if you're not, that's okay too. | 如果你不是,那也没关系。 |
| 1406 | You don't have to be happy with it. | 不须欢喜. |
| 1407 | We learn a lot from the struggles that we go through. | 我们从我们经历的斗争中吸取了很多教训. |
| 1408 | And I hope that I inspired someone to, | 我希望我激励别人 |
| 1409 | I hope to inspire people to, to set boundaries. | 我希望激励人们去,去设定界限。 |
| 1410 | You know, I notice a lot of people struggle to | 我注意到很多人都在挣扎 |
| 1411 | set boundaries. | 设置边界。 |
| 1412 | I think I'm very good at that. | 我觉得我很擅长这个 |
| 1413 | I think a lot of people have a hard time setting | 我觉得很多人都很难受 |
| 1414 | boundaries with family members. | 与家庭成员的界限。 |
| 1415 | I am the type of person who always sets boundaries. | 我是那种总能划定界限的人 |
| 1416 | You know, | 你知道吗, |
| 1417 | my family knows they have to treat me with a certain level of respect now that I'm an adult. | 我的家人知道 他们必须尊重我 因为我是成年人了 |
| 1418 | And yeah, I won't, and even before I was an adult, I wouldn't tolerate it. | 是的,我不会的,甚至在我成年之前, 我也不会容忍它。 |
| 1419 | You know, | 你知道吗, |
| 1420 | I used to say, okay, well then I don't like you and I'm not going to talk to you. | 我曾经说,好吧,那么我不喜欢你,我不会跟你说话。 |
| 1421 | I've always been that way. | 我一直都是这样 |
| 1422 | Cause yeah, I just, we are people. | 因为是啊,我只是,我们是人。 |
| 1423 | It doesn't matter that we are younger | 我们年轻不重要 |
| 1424 | than you. | 比你还强 |
| 1425 | We are people. | 我们是人。 |
| 1426 | We deserve to be respected. | 我们应该得到尊重。 |
| 1427 | And yeah, don't settle, don't settle for bad | 对,不要和解,不要和解 |
| 1428 | treatment. | 治疗。 |
| 1429 | It is a privilege to be in your life. | 我很荣幸能进入你的生活 |
| 1430 | It is a privilege. | 这是一种特权。 |
| 1431 | It's not a right. | 谓非权. |
| 1432 | Remember that. | 记住这一点。 |
| 1433 | All right. | 好吧,我们走。 |
| 1434 | Take care. | 小心点 |
| 1435 | I'll see you in the next one. | 后一见. |
| 1436 | Have a nice day. | 祝你们愉快 |
| 1437 | Bye bye. | 再见 |
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