【心理成长】永不反应、永不解释、只选择无视 · 疗愈过去的创
共 2 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 【心理成长】永不反应、永不解释、只选择无视 · 疗愈过去的创 | 16:24 |
| P2 | 【心理成长】永不反应、永不解释、只选择无视 · 疗愈过去的创 | 16:24 |
P1 · 【心理成长】永不反应、永不解释、只选择无视 · 疗愈过去的创伤 p01 中英字幕 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | You can read all of the books, listen to all of the podcast episodes and still find yourself | 你可以看所有的书, 听所有的播客 剧集,仍然发现自己 |
| 0:06 | being triggered by the same things and the same people over and over again. | 被同样的事物和同样的人 一次又一次地触发。 |
| 0:11 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 0:12 | you're not trying hard enough or because you're down or because there's something wrong with you. | 你不够努力 或因为你失望 或因为你有什么问题。 |
| 0:16 | It's because you're trying to control your reactions instead of actually understanding | 是因为你试图控制你的反应 而不是真正理解 |
| 0:22 | your reactions. | 你的反应。 |
| 0:23 | Because your reactions don't come from the present moment. | 因为你的反应不是从现在开始的 |
| 0:26 | They come from the past that hasn't fully been processed or healed yet. | 它们来自过去,还没有完全处理或治愈. |
| 0:31 | And until you really | 直到你变成真正的 |
| 0:32 | understand that, you'll keep repeating the same emotional patterns in your life, but in different | 理解这一点,你会不断重复 同样的情感模式 在你的生活中,但不同的 |
展开字幕全文（333 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | You can read all of the books, listen to all of the podcast episodes and still find yourself | 你可以看所有的书, 听所有的播客 剧集,仍然发现自己 |
| 2 | being triggered by the same things and the same people over and over again. | 被同样的事物和同样的人 一次又一次地触发。 |
| 3 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 4 | you're not trying hard enough or because you're down or because there's something wrong with you. | 你不够努力 或因为你失望 或因为你有什么问题。 |
| 5 | It's because you're trying to control your reactions instead of actually understanding | 是因为你试图控制你的反应 而不是真正理解 |
| 6 | your reactions. | 你的反应。 |
| 7 | Because your reactions don't come from the present moment. | 因为你的反应不是从现在开始的 |
| 8 | They come from the past that hasn't fully been processed or healed yet. | 它们来自过去,还没有完全处理或治愈. |
| 9 | And until you really | 直到你变成真正的 |
| 10 | understand that, you'll keep repeating the same emotional patterns in your life, but in different | 理解这一点,你会不断重复 同样的情感模式 在你的生活中,但不同的 |
| 11 | situations. | 情况 |
| 12 | And so today we're going to go deeper into what it actually means to become somebody | 所以今天我们要更深入地探讨 成为一个人的真正意义 |
| 13 | who actually doesn't react to anything. | 谁实际上没有反应什么。 |
| 14 | So let's dive into it. | 所以让我们潜入其中。 |
| 15 | To start off, | 开始 |
| 16 | I want to talk about something that I think a lot of people really misunderstand. | 我想谈一些我认为很多人 真正误解的事情。 |
| 17 | Being triggered | 被触发 |
| 18 | by somebody or something is not the problem. | 被别人或什么的不是问题。 |
| 19 | Think about that for a second. | 考虑一下 |
| 20 | Being triggered | 被触发 |
| 21 | is not the problem. | 这不是问题所在。 |
| 22 | Being triggered is the signal that you need to pay attention to. | 被触发是需要注意的信号. |
| 23 | It's not something to be ashamed of. | 何谓有愧. |
| 24 | It's something to be curious about, to look at and start to | 值得好奇,看看,开始 |
| 25 | question when you are triggered. | 当您被触发时提问 。 |
| 26 | Because if you just start to guilt yourself and shame yourself | 因为如果你开始 内疚和羞辱自己 |
| 27 | for being triggered, you learn nothing. | 因为被触发,你什么也学不到。 |
| 28 | But if you start to get curious around why you're getting | 但是如果你开始好奇 为什么你会得到 |
| 29 | triggered, now you really start to understand who you are and what's going on behind the scenes. | 触发,现在你真正开始 了解你是谁 以及幕后发生了什么。 |
| 30 | Because every time you get triggered, you're being shown a part of yourself that is still sensitive, | 因为每次你被触发, 你被显示自己的一部分 仍然敏感, |
| 31 | that is still reactive, that is still holding on to something, that is still not healed from the | 仍然有反应, 仍然持有的东西, 仍然没有治愈 |
| 32 | past. | 过去 |
| 33 | And most people's instinct, whenever they're triggered, is to look outward and ask | 而大多数人的本能,每当他们被触发, 是外观和问 |
| 34 | themselves questions. | 自己质疑。 |
| 35 | Why would they say that to me? | 他们为什么要对我这么说? |
| 36 | Why would they do that to me? | 他们为什么要这样对我? |
| 37 | What did I do to | 我做了什麽? |
| 38 | make them react that way? | 让他们那样反应? |
| 39 | And they're looking outward. | 他们向外看。 |
| 40 | But what you need to do is look inward | 但你需要做的是向内看 |
| 41 | whenever you're triggered. | 每当你触发。 |
| 42 | The deeper question here is why did that affect me so deeply in the | 更深层的问题是 为什么这深深地影响了我 |
| 43 | way that it did? | 是这样吗? |
| 44 | Why did that affect me so deeply in the way that it did? | 为什么这样对我影响如此深? |
| 45 | And I am now taking | 我现在要拿 |
| 46 | responsibility for being triggered. | 被触发的责任。 |
| 47 | The way I like to look at being triggered is this. | 我喜欢看被触发的方式就是这个。 |
| 48 | It's kind of | 有点 |
| 49 | like salt on a wound, right? | 就像伤口上的盐,对吧? |
| 50 | If the wound is healed, the salt doesn't do anything. | 若伤已愈,则咸无所为. |
| 51 | It doesn't hurt. | 不伤. |
| 52 | But if the wound has not healed, it hurts like hell. | 但是如果伤口没有痊愈,那么伤口会痛得要命. |
| 53 | That's the best analogy I can think of. | 这是我能想到的最佳类比。 |
| 54 | So whenever you're triggered, the triggering is like the salt. | 所以每当被触发,触发就像盐一样. |
| 55 | If you get trigger on just normal | 如果你能正常地触发 |
| 56 | skin that's healed over, no big deal. | 皮肤已经痊愈了 没什么大不了的 |
| 57 | But if you put salt on top of a wound, it's going to hurt like | 但如果你把盐放在伤口上 会很痛的 |
| 58 | hell. | 见鬼 |
| 59 | That is the universal way of life coming to you and saying, hey, you haven't healed here yet. | 这就是普遍的生活方式 来到你,说,嘿,你还没有在这里痊愈。 |
| 60 | You need to start working on yourself in this particular area. | 你得开始在这特殊领域工作 |
| 61 | So it's not about them. | 所以这和他们无关 |
| 62 | It's | 这是 |
| 63 | about what happened. | 关于发生了什么事。 |
| 64 | And it's not about the circumstances. | 而与情节无关. |
| 65 | It's about why did it affect | 这是关于为什么影响 |
| 66 | me in that way? | 我是这样吗? |
| 67 | And how do I need to heal myself? | 我该怎么治好自己? |
| 68 | Because most people don't really look at it through | 因为大多数人并不真正看穿它 |
| 69 | this way. | 这边 |
| 70 | They don't really understand something that's really important is that when you're | 他们并不真正理解什么是真正重要的是 当你是 |
| 71 | looking at something that's happened to you, every moment of your life, your mind is giving | 看着发生在你身上的东西, 你生命的每一刻, 你的思想正在给予 |
| 72 | meaning to everything that's happening around you. | 意味着你身边发生的一切 |
| 73 | Your brain is a meaning-making machine. | 你的大脑是创造意义的机器 |
| 74 | It's doing it all day long. | 终日作么生. |
| 75 | It's giving meaning to this and that and this person and what they said | 它赋予了这个,那个,这个人 和他们说的 |
| 76 | and what they're going to do. | 以及他们要做的事 |
| 77 | And that meaning is what creates your emotional response. | 而这个意思正是产生你情绪反应的原因. |
| 78 | The | 那个 |
| 79 | meaning that you're giving a situation or a circumstance is what creates your emotional | 意思是,你给一个情况或环境 是产生你的情感 |
| 80 | response. | 反应。 |
| 81 | And we will be right back. | 我们马上回来。 |
| 82 | Hey, if you're still watching this video, | 嘿,如果你还在看这个视频, |
| 83 | you're the type of person who wants to learn and grow and improve yourself. | 你是那种想学习 成长 改善自己的人 |
| 84 | Do me a favor, | 帮我个忙 |
| 85 | check below and see if you have subscribed to this channel. | 查看下方, 看看您是否订阅了此频道 。 |
| 86 | If you have not, do me a favor, | 如果你没有,帮我个忙 |
| 87 | hit that subscribe button so that you and I can go on this journey of self-improvement | 点击订阅按钮,这样我们就可以继续自我改进的旅程了 |
| 88 | and making your life better. | 让你的生活更美好 |
| 89 | So if you would subscribe to me, I would appreciate it. | 所以如果你同意的话 我会很感激的 |
| 90 | And now back to the show. | 现在回到节目。 |
| 91 | And so when someone says something and you feel triggered, | 所以当有人说些什么,你觉得触发, |
| 92 | it's not their words that are actually triggering you. | 不是他们的言语 真正触发你。 |
| 93 | It's the meaning your mind is attaching to | 这就是你的心意 |
| 94 | those words. | 这些话 |
| 95 | And that meaning is shaped by your past, shaped by your experiences, your identity, | 由你的过去 由你的经验和身份决定 |
| 96 | who you think you are, your wounds, you know, like a simple example is this. | 你以为你是谁,你的伤口,你知道, 就像一个简单的例子是这个。 |
| 97 | For instance, if somebody cuts you off on the road and there's no reaction, | 举例来说,如果有人在路上打断你,没有反应 |
| 98 | well, then there's no reaction. | 那么没有反应了 |
| 99 | But if somebody else gets cut off on the road | 但是如果有人在路上被切断 |
| 100 | and they blow up because of it, it's the same circumstance, but it's different meaning attached | 他们因为这个而爆炸, 情况是一样的, 但是它有不同的含义 |
| 101 | to being cut off. | 被切断。 |
| 102 | It's not because of the event, but because the person who is triggered is giving | 不是因为这个事件 而是因为被触发的人 |
| 103 | meaning to that event. | 对那个事件的意义。 |
| 104 | And it's something like, oh, that person doesn't care about me. | 这就像,哦, 那个人不在乎我。 |
| 105 | Or they | 或者他们 |
| 106 | think that they're more important than I am, or they aren't worried about my safety at all. | 认为他们比我更重要 或者他们一点都不担心我的安全 |
| 107 | So it's not the event. | 故不为事. |
| 108 | It's that your mind has attached some sort of meaning to that event. | 是因为你的思想对事件有某种意义 |
| 109 | And now you're reacting to the meaning, not the actual situation, whatever it is, | 而现在你对意义的反应, 不是实际情况, 不管是什么, |
| 110 | there's a negative meaning that you're attaching to it in that situation. | 在那种情况下,你对它有消极意义 |
| 111 | So we need to learn how | 所以我们需要学习如何 |
| 112 | to get to a point of not being reactive. | 达到不被动的地步 |
| 113 | And when I talk about like not reacting and not being | 当我说起不反应和不做 |
| 114 | reactive, I'm not talking about like becoming an emotionless statue. | 反应,我不是说成为无情感雕像 |
| 115 | It doesn't mean that I feel | 这并不意味着我觉得 |
| 116 | nothing. | 没什么 |
| 117 | That's not what I'm trying to say here. | 我不是这个意思 |
| 118 | What I'm talking about is becoming aware of what's | 我说的就是意识到 |
| 119 | going on inside of me before I react to anything. | 在我对任何事做出反应之前 一直在我体内进行着 |
| 120 | It's, it is extreme self-awareness. | 这是极端的自我意识。 |
| 121 | I'm talking | 我在说话 |
| 122 | about creating space within yourself because right now for most people, something happens | 在自己内部创造空间 因为现在对大多数人来说 事情发生了 |
| 123 | and the reaction is just instant. | 而反应只是瞬间。 |
| 124 | And there's no space. | 亦无空间. |
| 125 | There's no awareness that's in that space. | 那个空间里没有意识 |
| 126 | It's just an automatic response that you've been dealing with for 25 years. | 这只是你25年来处理的自动反应 |
| 127 | But the psychologist, | 但心理学家 |
| 128 | Victor Frankel says that growth happens in the tiny space between stimulus and response, | Victor Frankel说增长发生在刺激和反应之间的小空间里, |
| 129 | between something happening and us actually responding. | 发生的事情和我们的反应之间 |
| 130 | And in that tiny space, | 在那个小小的空间里 |
| 131 | if we become aware of what's happening within ourselves, we can choose how we want to respond | 如果我们意识到我们自己正在发生的事情, 我们可以选择我们想如何应对 |
| 132 | versus just responding in a pattern in a way that we have our entire life or something that we | 而不是仅仅以一种模式来回应 我们拥有整个生命或东西 |
| 133 | learned from our parents. | 从我们父母那里学到的 |
| 134 | So between something happening to you and you actually responding, | 所以,在你发生的事情 和你实际上的反应, |
| 135 | there's a moment where you can decide how you want to respond without being swept away by old | 有个时刻你可以决定如何应对 而不是被老掉牙 |
| 136 | emotions or old stories or old meanings. | 情感或旧故事或旧意义 |
| 137 | And so when I'm saying try to work towards never reacting, | 所以当我说努力做到永远不作出反应时 |
| 138 | I don't mean don't feel, I don't mean don't have emotions. | 我不是说不要感觉,我不是说不要情绪化 |
| 139 | I mean, don't let the feelings | 我的意思是,不要让 感觉 |
| 140 | control you. | 控制着你 |
| 141 | You can have feelings and not be controlled by feelings. | 你可以有感情,而不是被感情控制。 |
| 142 | Now that's, that's, | 现在,这是,这是, |
| 143 | I understand very foreign to a lot of people because for me, for a long time when I was younger, | 我理解很多人非常陌生 因为对我来说 在我年轻的时候 |
| 144 | I was just controlled by my emotions. | 我只是被情绪所控制 |
| 145 | I felt like I was just not in the driver's seat, | 我觉得自己没有坐在驾驶座上 |
| 146 | but it's not about not feeling. | 但这不是关于不感觉。 |
| 147 | It's about don't let your feelings control you. | 这是关于不要让你的感情控制你。 |
| 148 | You are experiencing | 你在经历 |
| 149 | feeling. | 感觉 |
| 150 | You can decide how you react. | 你可以决定你的反应 |
| 151 | You can notice it. | 你可以注意到这一点。 |
| 152 | You can sit with it for a minute, | 你可以坐一会儿 |
| 153 | start to get curious about it, understand it. | 开始对它感到好奇,理解它。 |
| 154 | Man, what, why do I feel this way? | 我怎么会有这种感觉? |
| 155 | Like what's | 喜欢什么 |
| 156 | going on in my head? | 我脑子里有问题吗? |
| 157 | Why do I always get mad when this happens? | 发生这种事我为什么总是生气? |
| 158 | What meaning am I giving this | 我给这个是什么意思? |
| 159 | situation? | 情况? |
| 160 | What does this situation remind me of in my past that's not healed yet? | 这让我想起了过去 还没有痊愈的什么? |
| 161 | And that is where your true growth will actually lie. | 这就是你真正的成长之处。 |
| 162 | When you actually start to get really curious | 当你真正开始变得非常好奇 |
| 163 | about your emotions and your feelings and your reactions and why you are triggered the way that | 关于你的情绪,你的感受和你的 反应,为什么你触发的方式 |
| 164 | you're triggered and the meaning that you're attaching to situations, because your, your | 你被触发 以及你对各种情况所依附的意义 因为... |
| 165 | emotions are not problems that you need to fix. | 情绪不是需要解决的问题 |
| 166 | There's signals that you need to listen to. | 有信号你需要听。 |
| 167 | They're pointing you in a direction. | 他们指着你的方向。 |
| 168 | Stop ignoring where they're trying to point you. | 别无视他们要指的你 |
| 169 | And so you have to start to think that this also has to deal with the way other people interact | 所以,你必须开始认为 这也必须处理 其他人互动的方式 |
| 170 | with you. | 和你们一起 |
| 171 | So it's like, we need to understand about ourself, but it's also very important when | 所以这就像,我们需要了解我们自己, 但当 |
| 172 | we understand this about ourself, this is also happening inside of every other person around you. | 我们了解我们自己 也发生在你周围的每一个人身上 |
| 173 | Like I always say, when you see a male, like a 40 year old man, who's just an | 就像我常说的 当你看到一个男人 就像一个40岁的男人 |
| 174 | asshole to everybody, right? | 对大家都是混蛋,对吧? |
| 175 | What you're seeing, or, you know, he's having a breakdown or he's | 你看到什么,或者,你知道, 他有一个崩溃或他正在 |
| 176 | yelling at somebody. | 对别人大喊大叫 |
| 177 | What you're seeing is a 40 year old body that happens to have a little | 你看到的是一个40岁的尸体 碰巧有一点点 |
| 178 | child still in it. | 孩子还在里面 |
| 179 | So it's a, it's a child that is still hurting and wounding in an adult's body. | 所以,它是一个,它是一个孩子 仍在伤害和伤害 在成年人的身体。 |
| 180 | So, and the reason why you can understand this is because people don't see you as you are, | 所以,你之所以能理解 是因为人们不像你这样看待你 |
| 181 | like I really want you to understand this. | 我真的希望你明白这一点。 |
| 182 | People don't see you as you are. | 众生不见如是. |
| 183 | They see you as they are | 他们看你的样子 |
| 184 | through their beliefs, through their past, through their wounds, through their conditionings, | 通过他们的信仰, 通过他们的过去, 通过他们的伤口, 通过他们的调节, |
| 185 | through their patterns, through what they learn from their parents unconsciously. | 通过他们的模式, 通过他们从父母那里学到的 不知不觉中。 |
| 186 | So no matter | 所以不管怎样 |
| 187 | how clearly you explain yourself, people will still misunderstand you because people can only | 你解释得多么清楚 人们仍然会误解你 因为人们只能 |
| 188 | understand from the level of their perception. | 从他们的认知水平来理解。 |
| 189 | And sometimes people just aren't going to be able | 有时候人们只是不能 |
| 190 | to understand you. | 来理解你 |
| 191 | And it's not because there's something wrong with you. | 且道不是因为你有些毛病. |
| 192 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 193 | you failed in explaining yourself, but sometimes it's just because they're filtering you through | 你解释自己失败了 但有时只是因为他们在过滤你 |
| 194 | their own lens of conditioning over their entire life. | 他们自己的镜头 调节他们一生。 |
| 195 | So what I mean by that is like, if you need | 所以我的意思是,如果你需要的话 |
| 196 | to set boundaries with somebody, your boundaries might feel like rejection of somebody who has | 和某人定界,你的界限 可能觉得拒绝某人 谁拥有 |
| 197 | abandonment wounds. | 弃伤. |
| 198 | It doesn't mean that your boundaries are bad. | 这并不意味着你的界限是坏的。 |
| 199 | It just means that they | 就是说他们 |
| 200 | healed that aspect of themselves. | 治疗了他们自己的问题 |
| 201 | If you are a confident person and somebody reacts to it, | 如果你是一个自信的人 有人对此作出反应, |
| 202 | your confidence might feel like arrogance to someone who's extremely insecure. | 对一个极度不安全的人来说 你的信心可能有点傲慢 |
| 203 | If you're an | 如果你是一个 |
| 204 | honest person and you don't want like to beat around the bush, your honesty might feel like | 诚实的人,你不想打 周围的灌木, 你的诚实可能感觉像 |
| 205 | an attack to someone who avoids truth. | 对逃避真相的人的攻击 |
| 206 | It's the same you, but it's just a different lens. | 和你一样,但只是不同的镜头 |
| 207 | And this is where most people get stuck because most people have other people react to them and | 这是大多数人被困的地方 因为大多数人有其他人的反应 |
| 208 | think, well, I need to change myself. | 我想改变自己 |
| 209 | And they're trying to change themselves or they're trying to | 他们试图改变自己 或者他们试图 |
| 210 | fix the other person's perception. | 修复他人的认知。 |
| 211 | So they will try to explain themselves more to be accepted, | 所以他们要多解释一点, |
| 212 | or they will soften themselves more for the other person. | 或者他们会为他人更柔软 |
| 213 | They will shrink more for the other person. | 他们会为另一个人而缩小 |
| 214 | But understanding this is really important because you understand that it's not just about how you | 但理解这一点真的很重要 因为你明白 这不仅仅是你是如何 |
| 215 | communicate and who you are. | 沟通与你是谁。 |
| 216 | It's also about how somebody is able to receive you. | 也是关于别人如何能接待你 |
| 217 | And it's | 这是 |
| 218 | really important to understand this because as you start to work on yourself and you become more | 理解这一点很重要,因为当你开始工作 自己,你变得更加 |
| 219 | confident in who you're becoming, it might trigger other people. | 相信你会变成什么样的人 可能会触发别人的情绪 |
| 220 | It doesn't mean there's | 这并不意味着有 |
| 221 | something wrong with you. | 你有点不对劲 |
| 222 | It can mean that there's something wrong with that person's perception | 可能意味着这个人的认知有问题 |
| 223 | based off of their past. | 基于他们的过去。 |
| 224 | They might not be able to perceive you at a different level. | 他们可能无法在不同的层面看待你 |
| 225 | So some people can only meet you at the level that they're at themselves, right? | 所以有些人只能在他们自己的水平上见你 对吧? |
| 226 | So if they | 所以如果他们 |
| 227 | don't respond to you in the way that you want them to respond to you, they might be triggered | 不要以你希望他们回应你的方式回应你, 他们可能被触发 |
| 228 | by you in some sort of way. | 由你某种方式。 |
| 229 | They might be protecting their own wounds and you don't realize it. | 他们可能在保护自己的伤口 你却不知道 |
| 230 | If | 若为 |
| 231 | you're not careful, you will accidentally change yourself in order to meet other people's | 你不小心,你会不小心地改变自己 以便遇到别人的 |
| 232 | expectations of you. | 对你的期望。 |
| 233 | You'll start to carry labels that were never yours in the first place. | 你将开始携带 从来就不是你的标签。 |
| 234 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 235 | oh, you know what? | 你知道吗? |
| 236 | Maybe I am too much, or maybe I am selfish, or maybe I am hard to love. | 也许我太过分了,或者我自私,或者我很难爱。 |
| 237 | That's really challenging, right? | 这真的有挑战性 对吧? |
| 238 | Or maybe someone just can't clearly understand you | 也许有人就是不明白你 |
| 239 | because they're just not able to understand you with the level that they're at in their life right | 因为他们无法理解你的人生 |
| 240 | now. | 现在 |
| 241 | Obviously, I want to kind of walk this line very carefully because it doesn't mean that you | 显然,我想非常小心地走这条线 因为这并不意味着你 |
| 242 | ignore all feedback from other people. | 忽略其他人的所有反馈。 |
| 243 | It means that you become clear so that you can learn the | 这意味着你变得清晰 以便你能够学习 |
| 244 | difference, right? | 区别,对不对? |
| 245 | Feedback from another person looks like, hey, this is how your behavior impacted | 别人的反馈 看起来像,嘿,这是如何影响你的行为 |
| 246 | me. | 来啊 |
| 247 | Somebody projecting their own crap on top of you is like, hey, this is who I've decided who you | 有人把自己的废话投射在你身上 就像,嘿,这是我决定谁你。 |
| 248 | are, right? | 是吗? |
| 249 | There's a big difference between those two things. | 这两件事有很大的不同. |
| 250 | You cannot explain yourself into | 你不能解释自己 |
| 251 | with someone that's committed to misunderstanding you. | 与一个致力于误解你的人。 |
| 252 | And so at some point, your piece might look | 所以,在某些时候,你的作品可能看起来 |
| 253 | like, hey, I know who I am, even if that person doesn't know who I am, because their lens is not | 喜欢,嘿,我知道我是谁, 即使那个人不知道我是谁, 因为他们的镜头不是 |
| 254 | ō | |
| 255 | Don't ever take on what somebody else says about you because that means that they're | 永远不要接受别人对你说的话 因为这意味着他们是 |
| 256 | filtering you through their lens. | 通过他们的镜头过滤你 |
| 257 | I'd rather make up my own identity of who I think I am and who I am | 我宁可编造我自己的自我 |
| 258 | versus looking to other people to tell me who I am when I know that their filter is already clouded. | 而不是期待别人告诉我我是谁 当我知道他们的过滤器已经蒙蔽了 |
| 259 | So the right people, the grounded people, the self-aware ones, they don't need you to change | 因此,正确的人,被禁足的人, 自我意识的人, 他们不需要你改变 |
| 260 | yourself. | 你自己来 |
| 261 | They don't need you to shrink so that they can understand you. | 他们不需要你收缩 这样他们才能理解你 |
| 262 | They will see you clearly | 他们会清楚地看到你的 |
| 263 | because they're already looking through clarity, not through clouded lenses. | 因为他们已经透过清晰度 而不是透透云镜 |
| 264 | And that's the shift | 这就是转变 |
| 265 | that you really need to understand is you won't fit everyone's lens and everyone's perception. | 你真正需要理解的是,你不会符合 每个人的镜头和每个人的感知。 |
| 266 | And everybody's lens is not about the truth about you anyways. | 而且每个人的镜头 都不关你的事 |
| 267 | And so really what you start to become | 所以,真的 你开始变成 |
| 268 | peaceful with is to accept yourself as you truly are. | 和平就是接受你真正的自我 |
| 269 | Once you go on this journey of self-discovery, | 一旦你踏上自我发现的旅程 |
| 270 | you start healing these wounds and coming in contact with who you truly are and starting | 你开始治好这些伤口 和真正的你接触 然后开始 |
| 271 | to work through your triggers. | 通过你的触发器工作。 |
| 272 | Peace comes when you start to really figure out who you are and | 和平降临,当你开始真正 找出你是谁和 |
| 273 | you accept it and you stop fighting against it and you stop trying to control everything around you. | 你接受它,你停止与它战斗, 你停止试图控制你周围的一切。 |
| 274 | And you're just okay with who you are. | 而你只是同意你是谁。 |
| 275 | You don't need to be accepted by other people. | 你不需要被别人接受 |
| 276 | And when you're truly okay with yourself, you don't need everyone to accept you. | 而当你真的 与你自己没关系, 你不需要每个人都接受你。 |
| 277 | That's the key. | 这是关键。 |
| 278 | Like what really matters to everybody listening to this podcast, | 像什么真正重要 对于每个人听播客, |
| 279 | what really matters more than almost anything else is not about, do other people accept you? | 还有什么比其他事情更重要的 别人会接受你吗? |
| 280 | It's do you accept you? | 你接受吗? |
| 281 | Because if you accept you, it doesn't matter if other people accept you | 因为如果你接受你 别人接受你不重要 |
| 282 | because you fully, 100% already accept yourself. | 因为你完全,100%已经接受自己。 |
| 283 | To accept yourself and to love yourself and to | 接受自己 爱自己 爱自己 |
| 284 | know yourself might be the highest form of enlightenment that we could all get to. | 知道自己可能是我们所能达到的最高启蒙形式 |
| 285 | And so the deepest truth of all of this, of being triggered, of going on this journey | 所以最深层的真相 这一切, 被触发, |
| 286 | of self-discovery is understanding that healing is not when life stops triggering you because | 自我发现是理解 治疗不是当生命停止 触发你,因为 |
| 287 | you'll always be triggered. | 你会永远被触发。 |
| 288 | We're probably not going to become a monk and get fully enlightened | 我们可能不会成为和尚 完全开明 |
| 289 | in this life that we're in right now. | 在我们现在的生活。 |
| 290 | But you realize that you may never get to the point | 但你意识到你可能永远无法达到目的 |
| 291 | where you're not triggered, but real healing is not being triggered. | 虽然你没有被触发 但真正的治愈并没有被触发 |
| 292 | It's when your reaction | 当你的反应 |
| 293 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}这些触发器会改变 | |
| 294 | Like the same situation that used to ruin your entire day, | 就像以前破坏你整个一天一样 |
| 295 | you now just pass this through and you don't even notice it. | 你现在只是通过这个 你甚至没有注意到它。 |
| 296 | The same comment | 同一评论 |
| 297 | that used to hit a nerve and make you feel like less than barely even lands anymore. | 让你觉得自己连着陆都不如 |
| 298 | Like that | 像这样 |
| 299 | is the proof as real as it can be that you're healing and that you're growing and that you're | 证明你正在治愈 正在成长 |
| 300 | developing a deeper relationship with yourself. | 与自己发展更深层次的关系. |
| 301 | That's what we all should be working towards. | 我们都应该为此而努力。 |
| 302 | And that's how you really know that you've grown. | 所以你才知道自己已经长大了 |
| 303 | Not because life got easier in any way, | 并不是因为生活变得更容易, |
| 304 | but because you became more grounded within yourself. | 但因为你变得更扎根于你自己。 |
| 305 | And this is what I love about Stoicism, | 这就是我喜欢的斯托伊克主义, |
| 306 | like the Stoics really understood this deeply. | 就像斯多克人非常明白这一点 |
| 307 | Like they didn't try to control the world. | 就像他们没有试图控制世界一样. |
| 308 | They worked on themselves. | 他们靠自己工作。 |
| 309 | They focused on what was within their control, their thoughts, | 他们把注意力集中在他们能控制的东西上, 他们的思想, |
| 310 | their responses, their inner state. | 他们的反应,他们的内在状态。 |
| 311 | And I think that's one of the reasons why Stoic philosophy is | 我认为这就是斯托伊克哲学的原因之一 |
| 312 | making such a big comeback in the past five to 10 years is because there's so much truth to it. | 在过去的5到10年里 有了如此大的回击 因为它有这么多的真理。 |
| 313 | And so many people resonate with it. | 这么多人对此有共鸣。 |
| 314 | To become more Stoic in everything that we do requires us | 要在一切事情中更加斯托伊克 需要我们 |
| 315 | to keep working on ourselves. | 继续努力 |
| 316 | We can't control most of the circumstances in our life, but we | 我们无法控制我们生活中的大部分情况,但我们 |
| 317 | can't control how we react to the circumstances in our life. | 无法控制我们对生活环境的反应 |
| 318 | And that's what we should be trying to | 这正是我们应该尝试 |
| 319 | That's pretty much the only thing that we can really control because the world is always going | 这几乎是唯一我们能真正控制的东西 因为世界总是在发展 |
| 320 | to be unpredictable. | 无法预料 |
| 321 | People will always say things, situations will always happen, but your peace, | 人们总是会说话, 情况总是会发生, 但你的和平, |
| 322 | that's something that you can build. | 这是你可以建造的东西。 |
| 323 | That's something that you're in control of. | 这是你控制的东西。 |
| 324 | That's | 这是 |
| 325 | something that you can get more of. | 一些你可以得到更多的东西。 |
| 326 | And when you get to a place of peace, your calm doesn't have to | 当你到达一个和平的地方, 你的平静不必 |
| 327 | be something that you're forcing. | 成为你强迫的东西。 |
| 328 | It's just something that you are, something that other | 它只是你的东西,其他的东西 |
| 329 | people feel by being around you. | 人们在你身边的感觉。 |
| 330 | And so I want you to remember this. | 所以我希望你记住这一点。 |
| 331 | The goal is not to stop | 目标不是停止 |
| 332 | reacting completely. | 完全反应。 |
| 333 | The goal is to heal the part of you that feels like you need to react. | 目标是治愈你感到需要反应的部分. |
该视频共有字幕 333 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 【心理成长】永不反应、永不解释、只选择无视 · 疗愈过去的创伤 p02 英文字幕 (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | You can read all of the books, listen to all of the podcast episodes and still find yourself | 你可以看所有的书, 听所有的播客 剧集,仍然发现自己 |
| 0:06 | being triggered by the same things and the same people over and over again. | 被同样的事物和同样的人 一次又一次地触发。 |
| 0:11 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 0:12 | you're not trying hard enough or because you're down or because there's something wrong with you. | 你不够努力 或因为你失望 或因为你有什么问题。 |
| 0:16 | It's because you're trying to control your reactions instead of actually understanding | 是因为你试图控制你的反应 而不是真正理解 |
| 0:22 | your reactions. | 你的反应。 |
| 0:23 | Because your reactions don't come from the present moment. | 因为你的反应不是从现在开始的 |
| 0:26 | They come from the past that hasn't fully been processed or healed yet. | 它们来自过去,还没有完全处理或治愈. |
| 0:31 | And until you really | 直到你变成真正的 |
| 0:32 | understand that, you'll keep repeating the same emotional patterns in your life, but in different | 理解这一点,你会不断重复 同样的情感模式 在你的生活中,但不同的 |
展开字幕全文（333 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | You can read all of the books, listen to all of the podcast episodes and still find yourself | 你可以看所有的书, 听所有的播客 剧集,仍然发现自己 |
| 2 | being triggered by the same things and the same people over and over again. | 被同样的事物和同样的人 一次又一次地触发。 |
| 3 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 4 | you're not trying hard enough or because you're down or because there's something wrong with you. | 你不够努力 或因为你失望 或因为你有什么问题。 |
| 5 | It's because you're trying to control your reactions instead of actually understanding | 是因为你试图控制你的反应 而不是真正理解 |
| 6 | your reactions. | 你的反应。 |
| 7 | Because your reactions don't come from the present moment. | 因为你的反应不是从现在开始的 |
| 8 | They come from the past that hasn't fully been processed or healed yet. | 它们来自过去,还没有完全处理或治愈. |
| 9 | And until you really | 直到你变成真正的 |
| 10 | understand that, you'll keep repeating the same emotional patterns in your life, but in different | 理解这一点,你会不断重复 同样的情感模式 在你的生活中,但不同的 |
| 11 | situations. | 情况 |
| 12 | And so today we're going to go deeper into what it actually means to become somebody | 所以今天我们要更深入地探讨 成为一个人的真正意义 |
| 13 | who actually doesn't react to anything. | 谁实际上没有反应什么。 |
| 14 | So let's dive into it. | 所以让我们潜入其中。 |
| 15 | To start off, | 开始 |
| 16 | I want to talk about something that I think a lot of people really misunderstand. | 我想谈一些我认为很多人 真正误解的事情。 |
| 17 | Being triggered | 被触发 |
| 18 | by somebody or something is not the problem. | 被别人或什么的不是问题。 |
| 19 | Think about that for a second. | 考虑一下 |
| 20 | Being triggered | 被触发 |
| 21 | is not the problem. | 这不是问题所在。 |
| 22 | Being triggered is the signal that you need to pay attention to. | 被触发是需要注意的信号. |
| 23 | It's not something to be ashamed of. | 何谓有愧. |
| 24 | It's something to be curious about, to look at and start to | 值得好奇,看看,开始 |
| 25 | question when you are triggered. | 当您被触发时提问 。 |
| 26 | Because if you just start to guilt yourself and shame yourself | 因为如果你开始 内疚和羞辱自己 |
| 27 | for being triggered, you learn nothing. | 因为被触发,你什么也学不到。 |
| 28 | But if you start to get curious around why you're getting | 但是如果你开始好奇 为什么你会得到 |
| 29 | triggered, now you really start to understand who you are and what's going on behind the scenes. | 触发,现在你真正开始 了解你是谁 以及幕后发生了什么。 |
| 30 | Because every time you get triggered, you're being shown a part of yourself that is still sensitive, | 因为每次你被触发, 你被显示自己的一部分 仍然敏感, |
| 31 | that is still reactive, that is still holding on to something, that is still not healed from the | 仍然有反应, 仍然持有的东西, 仍然没有治愈 |
| 32 | past. | 过去 |
| 33 | And most people's instinct, whenever they're triggered, is to look outward and ask | 而大多数人的本能,每当他们被触发, 是外观和问 |
| 34 | themselves questions. | 自己质疑。 |
| 35 | Why would they say that to me? | 他们为什么要对我这么说? |
| 36 | Why would they do that to me? | 他们为什么要这样对我? |
| 37 | What did I do to | 我做了什麽? |
| 38 | make them react that way? | 让他们那样反应? |
| 39 | And they're looking outward. | 他们向外看。 |
| 40 | But what you need to do is look inward | 但你需要做的是向内看 |
| 41 | whenever you're triggered. | 每当你触发。 |
| 42 | The deeper question here is why did that affect me so deeply in the | 更深层的问题是 为什么这深深地影响了我 |
| 43 | way that it did? | 是这样吗? |
| 44 | Why did that affect me so deeply in the way that it did? | 为什么这样对我影响如此深? |
| 45 | And I am now taking | 我现在要拿 |
| 46 | responsibility for being triggered. | 被触发的责任。 |
| 47 | The way I like to look at being triggered is this. | 我喜欢看被触发的方式就是这个。 |
| 48 | It's kind of | 有点 |
| 49 | like salt on a wound, right? | 就像伤口上的盐,对吧? |
| 50 | If the wound is healed, the salt doesn't do anything. | 若伤已愈,则咸无所为. |
| 51 | It doesn't hurt. | 不伤. |
| 52 | But if the wound has not healed, it hurts like hell. | 但是如果伤口没有痊愈,那么伤口会痛得要命. |
| 53 | That's the best analogy I can think of. | 这是我能想到的最佳类比。 |
| 54 | So whenever you're triggered, the triggering is like the salt. | 所以每当被触发,触发就像盐一样. |
| 55 | If you get trigger on just normal | 如果你能正常地触发 |
| 56 | skin that's healed over, no big deal. | 皮肤已经痊愈了 没什么大不了的 |
| 57 | But if you put salt on top of a wound, it's going to hurt like | 但如果你把盐放在伤口上 会很痛的 |
| 58 | hell. | 见鬼 |
| 59 | That is the universal way of life coming to you and saying, hey, you haven't healed here yet. | 这就是普遍的生活方式 来到你,说,嘿,你还没有在这里痊愈。 |
| 60 | You need to start working on yourself in this particular area. | 你得开始在这特殊领域工作 |
| 61 | So it's not about them. | 所以这和他们无关 |
| 62 | It's | 这是 |
| 63 | about what happened. | 关于发生了什么事。 |
| 64 | And it's not about the circumstances. | 而与情节无关. |
| 65 | It's about why did it affect | 这是关于为什么影响 |
| 66 | me in that way? | 我是这样吗? |
| 67 | And how do I need to heal myself? | 我该怎么治好自己? |
| 68 | Because most people don't really look at it through | 因为大多数人并不真正看穿它 |
| 69 | this way. | 这边 |
| 70 | They don't really understand something that's really important is that when you're | 他们并不真正理解什么是真正重要的是 当你是 |
| 71 | looking at something that's happened to you, every moment of your life, your mind is giving | 看着发生在你身上的东西, 你生命的每一刻, 你的思想正在给予 |
| 72 | meaning to everything that's happening around you. | 意味着你身边发生的一切 |
| 73 | Your brain is a meaning-making machine. | 你的大脑是创造意义的机器 |
| 74 | It's doing it all day long. | 终日作么生. |
| 75 | It's giving meaning to this and that and this person and what they said | 它赋予了这个,那个,这个人 和他们说的 |
| 76 | and what they're going to do. | 以及他们要做的事 |
| 77 | And that meaning is what creates your emotional response. | 而这个意思正是产生你情绪反应的原因. |
| 78 | The | 那个 |
| 79 | meaning that you're giving a situation or a circumstance is what creates your emotional | 意思是,你给一个情况或环境 是产生你的情感 |
| 80 | response. | 反应。 |
| 81 | And we will be right back. | 我们马上回来。 |
| 82 | Hey, if you're still watching this video, | 嘿,如果你还在看这个视频, |
| 83 | you're the type of person who wants to learn and grow and improve yourself. | 你是那种想学习 成长 改善自己的人 |
| 84 | Do me a favor, | 帮我个忙 |
| 85 | check below and see if you have subscribed to this channel. | 查看下方, 看看您是否订阅了此频道 。 |
| 86 | If you have not, do me a favor, | 如果你没有,帮我个忙 |
| 87 | hit that subscribe button so that you and I can go on this journey of self-improvement | 点击订阅按钮,这样我们就可以继续自我改进的旅程了 |
| 88 | and making your life better. | 让你的生活更美好 |
| 89 | So if you would subscribe to me, I would appreciate it. | 所以如果你同意的话 我会很感激的 |
| 90 | And now back to the show. | 现在回到节目。 |
| 91 | And so when someone says something and you feel triggered, | 所以当有人说些什么,你觉得触发, |
| 92 | it's not their words that are actually triggering you. | 不是他们的言语 真正触发你。 |
| 93 | It's the meaning your mind is attaching to | 这就是你的心意 |
| 94 | those words. | 这些话 |
| 95 | And that meaning is shaped by your past, shaped by your experiences, your identity, | 由你的过去 由你的经验和身份决定 |
| 96 | who you think you are, your wounds, you know, like a simple example is this. | 你以为你是谁,你的伤口,你知道, 就像一个简单的例子是这个。 |
| 97 | For instance, if somebody cuts you off on the road and there's no reaction, | 举例来说,如果有人在路上打断你,没有反应 |
| 98 | well, then there's no reaction. | 那么没有反应了 |
| 99 | But if somebody else gets cut off on the road | 但是如果有人在路上被切断 |
| 100 | and they blow up because of it, it's the same circumstance, but it's different meaning attached | 他们因为这个而爆炸, 情况是一样的, 但是它有不同的含义 |
| 101 | to being cut off. | 被切断。 |
| 102 | It's not because of the event, but because the person who is triggered is giving | 不是因为这个事件 而是因为被触发的人 |
| 103 | meaning to that event. | 对那个事件的意义。 |
| 104 | And it's something like, oh, that person doesn't care about me. | 这就像,哦, 那个人不在乎我。 |
| 105 | Or they | 或者他们 |
| 106 | think that they're more important than I am, or they aren't worried about my safety at all. | 认为他们比我更重要 或者他们一点都不担心我的安全 |
| 107 | So it's not the event. | 故不为事. |
| 108 | It's that your mind has attached some sort of meaning to that event. | 是因为你的思想对事件有某种意义 |
| 109 | And now you're reacting to the meaning, not the actual situation, whatever it is, | 而现在你对意义的反应, 不是实际情况, 不管是什么, |
| 110 | there's a negative meaning that you're attaching to it in that situation. | 在那种情况下,你对它有消极意义 |
| 111 | So we need to learn how | 所以我们需要学习如何 |
| 112 | to get to a point of not being reactive. | 达到不被动的地步 |
| 113 | And when I talk about like not reacting and not being | 当我说起不反应和不做 |
| 114 | reactive, I'm not talking about like becoming an emotionless statue. | 反应,我不是说成为无情感雕像 |
| 115 | It doesn't mean that I feel | 这并不意味着我觉得 |
| 116 | nothing. | 没什么 |
| 117 | That's not what I'm trying to say here. | 我不是这个意思 |
| 118 | What I'm talking about is becoming aware of what's | 我说的就是意识到 |
| 119 | going on inside of me before I react to anything. | 在我对任何事做出反应之前 一直在我体内进行着 |
| 120 | It's, it is extreme self-awareness. | 这是极端的自我意识。 |
| 121 | I'm talking | 我在说话 |
| 122 | about creating space within yourself because right now for most people, something happens | 在自己内部创造空间 因为现在对大多数人来说 事情发生了 |
| 123 | and the reaction is just instant. | 而反应只是瞬间。 |
| 124 | And there's no space. | 亦无空间. |
| 125 | There's no awareness that's in that space. | 那个空间里没有意识 |
| 126 | It's just an automatic response that you've been dealing with for 25 years. | 这只是你25年来处理的自动反应 |
| 127 | But the psychologist, | 但心理学家 |
| 128 | Victor Frankel says that growth happens in the tiny space between stimulus and response, | Victor Frankel说增长发生在刺激和反应之间的小空间里, |
| 129 | between something happening and us actually responding. | 发生的事情和我们的反应之间 |
| 130 | And in that tiny space, | 在那个小小的空间里 |
| 131 | if we become aware of what's happening within ourselves, we can choose how we want to respond | 如果我们意识到我们自己正在发生的事情, 我们可以选择我们想如何应对 |
| 132 | versus just responding in a pattern in a way that we have our entire life or something that we | 而不是仅仅以一种模式来回应 我们拥有整个生命或东西 |
| 133 | learned from our parents. | 从我们父母那里学到的 |
| 134 | So between something happening to you and you actually responding, | 所以,在你发生的事情 和你实际上的反应, |
| 135 | there's a moment where you can decide how you want to respond without being swept away by old | 有个时刻你可以决定如何应对 而不是被老掉牙 |
| 136 | emotions or old stories or old meanings. | 情感或旧故事或旧意义 |
| 137 | And so when I'm saying try to work towards never reacting, | 所以当我说努力做到永远不作出反应时 |
| 138 | I don't mean don't feel, I don't mean don't have emotions. | 我不是说不要感觉,我不是说不要情绪化 |
| 139 | I mean, don't let the feelings | 我的意思是,不要让 感觉 |
| 140 | control you. | 控制着你 |
| 141 | You can have feelings and not be controlled by feelings. | 你可以有感情,而不是被感情控制。 |
| 142 | Now that's, that's, | 现在,这是,这是, |
| 143 | I understand very foreign to a lot of people because for me, for a long time when I was younger, | 我理解很多人非常陌生 因为对我来说 在我年轻的时候 |
| 144 | I was just controlled by my emotions. | 我只是被情绪所控制 |
| 145 | I felt like I was just not in the driver's seat, | 我觉得自己没有坐在驾驶座上 |
| 146 | but it's not about not feeling. | 但这不是关于不感觉。 |
| 147 | It's about don't let your feelings control you. | 这是关于不要让你的感情控制你。 |
| 148 | You are experiencing | 你在经历 |
| 149 | feeling. | 感觉 |
| 150 | You can decide how you react. | 你可以决定你的反应 |
| 151 | You can notice it. | 你可以注意到这一点。 |
| 152 | You can sit with it for a minute, | 你可以坐一会儿 |
| 153 | start to get curious about it, understand it. | 开始对它感到好奇,理解它。 |
| 154 | Man, what, why do I feel this way? | 我怎么会有这种感觉? |
| 155 | Like what's | 喜欢什么 |
| 156 | going on in my head? | 我脑子里有问题吗? |
| 157 | Why do I always get mad when this happens? | 发生这种事我为什么总是生气? |
| 158 | What meaning am I giving this | 我给这个是什么意思? |
| 159 | situation? | 情况? |
| 160 | What does this situation remind me of in my past that's not healed yet? | 这让我想起了过去 还没有痊愈的什么? |
| 161 | And that is where your true growth will actually lie. | 这就是你真正的成长之处。 |
| 162 | When you actually start to get really curious | 当你真正开始变得非常好奇 |
| 163 | about your emotions and your feelings and your reactions and why you are triggered the way that | 关于你的情绪,你的感受和你的 反应,为什么你触发的方式 |
| 164 | you're triggered and the meaning that you're attaching to situations, because your, your | 你被触发 以及你对各种情况所依附的意义 因为... |
| 165 | emotions are not problems that you need to fix. | 情绪不是需要解决的问题 |
| 166 | There's signals that you need to listen to. | 有信号你需要听。 |
| 167 | They're pointing you in a direction. | 他们指着你的方向。 |
| 168 | Stop ignoring where they're trying to point you. | 别无视他们要指的你 |
| 169 | And so you have to start to think that this also has to deal with the way other people interact | 所以,你必须开始认为 这也必须处理 其他人互动的方式 |
| 170 | with you. | 和你们一起 |
| 171 | So it's like, we need to understand about ourself, but it's also very important when | 所以这就像,我们需要了解我们自己, 但当 |
| 172 | we understand this about ourself, this is also happening inside of every other person around you. | 我们了解我们自己 也发生在你周围的每一个人身上 |
| 173 | Like I always say, when you see a male, like a 40 year old man, who's just an | 就像我常说的 当你看到一个男人 就像一个40岁的男人 |
| 174 | asshole to everybody, right? | 对大家都是混蛋,对吧? |
| 175 | What you're seeing, or, you know, he's having a breakdown or he's | 你看到什么,或者,你知道, 他有一个崩溃或他正在 |
| 176 | yelling at somebody. | 对别人大喊大叫 |
| 177 | What you're seeing is a 40 year old body that happens to have a little | 你看到的是一个40岁的尸体 碰巧有一点点 |
| 178 | child still in it. | 孩子还在里面 |
| 179 | So it's a, it's a child that is still hurting and wounding in an adult's body. | 所以,它是一个,它是一个孩子 仍在伤害和伤害 在成年人的身体。 |
| 180 | So, and the reason why you can understand this is because people don't see you as you are, | 所以,你之所以能理解 是因为人们不像你这样看待你 |
| 181 | like I really want you to understand this. | 我真的希望你明白这一点。 |
| 182 | People don't see you as you are. | 众生不见如是. |
| 183 | They see you as they are | 他们看你的样子 |
| 184 | through their beliefs, through their past, through their wounds, through their conditionings, | 通过他们的信仰, 通过他们的过去, 通过他们的伤口, 通过他们的调节, |
| 185 | through their patterns, through what they learn from their parents unconsciously. | 通过他们的模式, 通过他们从父母那里学到的 不知不觉中。 |
| 186 | So no matter | 所以不管怎样 |
| 187 | how clearly you explain yourself, people will still misunderstand you because people can only | 你解释得多么清楚 人们仍然会误解你 因为人们只能 |
| 188 | understand from the level of their perception. | 从他们的认知水平来理解。 |
| 189 | And sometimes people just aren't going to be able | 有时候人们只是不能 |
| 190 | to understand you. | 来理解你 |
| 191 | And it's not because there's something wrong with you. | 且道不是因为你有些毛病. |
| 192 | And it's not because | 也不是因为 |
| 193 | you failed in explaining yourself, but sometimes it's just because they're filtering you through | 你解释自己失败了 但有时只是因为他们在过滤你 |
| 194 | their own lens of conditioning over their entire life. | 他们自己的镜头 调节他们一生。 |
| 195 | So what I mean by that is like, if you need | 所以我的意思是,如果你需要的话 |
| 196 | to set boundaries with somebody, your boundaries might feel like rejection of somebody who has | 和某人定界,你的界限 可能觉得拒绝某人 谁拥有 |
| 197 | abandonment wounds. | 弃伤. |
| 198 | It doesn't mean that your boundaries are bad. | 这并不意味着你的界限是坏的。 |
| 199 | It just means that they | 就是说他们 |
| 200 | healed that aspect of themselves. | 治疗了他们自己的问题 |
| 201 | If you are a confident person and somebody reacts to it, | 如果你是一个自信的人 有人对此作出反应, |
| 202 | your confidence might feel like arrogance to someone who's extremely insecure. | 对一个极度不安全的人来说 你的信心可能有点傲慢 |
| 203 | If you're an | 如果你是一个 |
| 204 | honest person and you don't want like to beat around the bush, your honesty might feel like | 诚实的人,你不想打 周围的灌木, 你的诚实可能感觉像 |
| 205 | an attack to someone who avoids truth. | 对逃避真相的人的攻击 |
| 206 | It's the same you, but it's just a different lens. | 和你一样,但只是不同的镜头 |
| 207 | And this is where most people get stuck because most people have other people react to them and | 这是大多数人被困的地方 因为大多数人有其他人的反应 |
| 208 | think, well, I need to change myself. | 我想改变自己 |
| 209 | And they're trying to change themselves or they're trying to | 他们试图改变自己 或者他们试图 |
| 210 | fix the other person's perception. | 修复他人的认知。 |
| 211 | So they will try to explain themselves more to be accepted, | 所以他们要多解释一点, |
| 212 | or they will soften themselves more for the other person. | 或者他们会为他人更柔软 |
| 213 | They will shrink more for the other person. | 他们会为另一个人而缩小 |
| 214 | But understanding this is really important because you understand that it's not just about how you | 但理解这一点真的很重要 因为你明白 这不仅仅是你是如何 |
| 215 | communicate and who you are. | 沟通与你是谁。 |
| 216 | It's also about how somebody is able to receive you. | 也是关于别人如何能接待你 |
| 217 | And it's | 这是 |
| 218 | really important to understand this because as you start to work on yourself and you become more | 理解这一点很重要,因为当你开始工作 自己,你变得更加 |
| 219 | confident in who you're becoming, it might trigger other people. | 相信你会变成什么样的人 可能会触发别人的情绪 |
| 220 | It doesn't mean there's | 这并不意味着有 |
| 221 | something wrong with you. | 你有点不对劲 |
| 222 | It can mean that there's something wrong with that person's perception | 可能意味着这个人的认知有问题 |
| 223 | based off of their past. | 基于他们的过去。 |
| 224 | They might not be able to perceive you at a different level. | 他们可能无法在不同的层面看待你 |
| 225 | So some people can only meet you at the level that they're at themselves, right? | 所以有些人只能在他们自己的水平上见你 对吧? |
| 226 | So if they | 所以如果他们 |
| 227 | don't respond to you in the way that you want them to respond to you, they might be triggered | 不要以你希望他们回应你的方式回应你, 他们可能被触发 |
| 228 | by you in some sort of way. | 由你某种方式。 |
| 229 | They might be protecting their own wounds and you don't realize it. | 他们可能在保护自己的伤口 你却不知道 |
| 230 | If | 若为 |
| 231 | you're not careful, you will accidentally change yourself in order to meet other people's | 你不小心,你会不小心地改变自己 以便遇到别人的 |
| 232 | expectations of you. | 对你的期望。 |
| 233 | You'll start to carry labels that were never yours in the first place. | 你将开始携带 从来就不是你的标签。 |
| 234 | Like, | 喜欢, |
| 235 | oh, you know what? | 你知道吗? |
| 236 | Maybe I am too much, or maybe I am selfish, or maybe I am hard to love. | 也许我太过分了,或者我自私,或者我很难爱。 |
| 237 | That's really challenging, right? | 这真的有挑战性 对吧? |
| 238 | Or maybe someone just can't clearly understand you | 也许有人就是不明白你 |
| 239 | because they're just not able to understand you with the level that they're at in their life right | 因为他们无法理解你的人生 |
| 240 | now. | 现在 |
| 241 | Obviously, I want to kind of walk this line very carefully because it doesn't mean that you | 显然,我想非常小心地走这条线 因为这并不意味着你 |
| 242 | ignore all feedback from other people. | 忽略其他人的所有反馈。 |
| 243 | It means that you become clear so that you can learn the | 这意味着你变得清晰 以便你能够学习 |
| 244 | difference, right? | 区别,对不对? |
| 245 | Feedback from another person looks like, hey, this is how your behavior impacted | 别人的反馈 看起来像,嘿,这是如何影响你的行为 |
| 246 | me. | 来啊 |
| 247 | Somebody projecting their own crap on top of you is like, hey, this is who I've decided who you | 有人把自己的废话投射在你身上 就像,嘿,这是我决定谁你。 |
| 248 | are, right? | 是吗? |
| 249 | There's a big difference between those two things. | 这两件事有很大的不同. |
| 250 | You cannot explain yourself into | 你不能解释自己 |
| 251 | with someone that's committed to misunderstanding you. | 与一个致力于误解你的人。 |
| 252 | And so at some point, your piece might look | 所以,在某些时候,你的作品可能看起来 |
| 253 | like, hey, I know who I am, even if that person doesn't know who I am, because their lens is not | 喜欢,嘿,我知道我是谁, 即使那个人不知道我是谁, 因为他们的镜头不是 |
| 254 | ō | |
| 255 | Don't ever take on what somebody else says about you because that means that they're | 永远不要接受别人对你说的话 因为这意味着他们是 |
| 256 | filtering you through their lens. | 通过他们的镜头过滤你 |
| 257 | I'd rather make up my own identity of who I think I am and who I am | 我宁可编造我自己的自我 |
| 258 | versus looking to other people to tell me who I am when I know that their filter is already clouded. | 而不是期待别人告诉我我是谁 当我知道他们的过滤器已经蒙蔽了 |
| 259 | So the right people, the grounded people, the self-aware ones, they don't need you to change | 因此,正确的人,被禁足的人, 自我意识的人, 他们不需要你改变 |
| 260 | yourself. | 你自己来 |
| 261 | They don't need you to shrink so that they can understand you. | 他们不需要你收缩 这样他们才能理解你 |
| 262 | They will see you clearly | 他们会清楚地看到你的 |
| 263 | because they're already looking through clarity, not through clouded lenses. | 因为他们已经透过清晰度 而不是透透云镜 |
| 264 | And that's the shift | 这就是转变 |
| 265 | that you really need to understand is you won't fit everyone's lens and everyone's perception. | 你真正需要理解的是,你不会符合 每个人的镜头和每个人的感知。 |
| 266 | And everybody's lens is not about the truth about you anyways. | 而且每个人的镜头 都不关你的事 |
| 267 | And so really what you start to become | 所以,真的 你开始变成 |
| 268 | peaceful with is to accept yourself as you truly are. | 和平就是接受你真正的自我 |
| 269 | Once you go on this journey of self-discovery, | 一旦你踏上自我发现的旅程 |
| 270 | you start healing these wounds and coming in contact with who you truly are and starting | 你开始治好这些伤口 和真正的你接触 然后开始 |
| 271 | to work through your triggers. | 通过你的触发器工作。 |
| 272 | Peace comes when you start to really figure out who you are and | 和平降临,当你开始真正 找出你是谁和 |
| 273 | you accept it and you stop fighting against it and you stop trying to control everything around you. | 你接受它,你停止与它战斗, 你停止试图控制你周围的一切。 |
| 274 | And you're just okay with who you are. | 而你只是同意你是谁。 |
| 275 | You don't need to be accepted by other people. | 你不需要被别人接受 |
| 276 | And when you're truly okay with yourself, you don't need everyone to accept you. | 而当你真的 与你自己没关系, 你不需要每个人都接受你。 |
| 277 | That's the key. | 这是关键。 |
| 278 | Like what really matters to everybody listening to this podcast, | 像什么真正重要 对于每个人听播客, |
| 279 | what really matters more than almost anything else is not about, do other people accept you? | 还有什么比其他事情更重要的 别人会接受你吗? |
| 280 | It's do you accept you? | 你接受吗? |
| 281 | Because if you accept you, it doesn't matter if other people accept you | 因为如果你接受你 别人接受你不重要 |
| 282 | because you fully, 100% already accept yourself. | 因为你完全,100%已经接受自己。 |
| 283 | To accept yourself and to love yourself and to | 接受自己 爱自己 爱自己 |
| 284 | know yourself might be the highest form of enlightenment that we could all get to. | 知道自己可能是我们所能达到的最高启蒙形式 |
| 285 | And so the deepest truth of all of this, of being triggered, of going on this journey | 所以最深层的真相 这一切, 被触发, |
| 286 | of self-discovery is understanding that healing is not when life stops triggering you because | 自我发现是理解 治疗不是当生命停止 触发你,因为 |
| 287 | you'll always be triggered. | 你会永远被触发。 |
| 288 | We're probably not going to become a monk and get fully enlightened | 我们可能不会成为和尚 完全开明 |
| 289 | in this life that we're in right now. | 在我们现在的生活。 |
| 290 | But you realize that you may never get to the point | 但你意识到你可能永远无法达到目的 |
| 291 | where you're not triggered, but real healing is not being triggered. | 虽然你没有被触发 但真正的治愈并没有被触发 |
| 292 | It's when your reaction | 当你的反应 |
| 293 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}这些触发器会改变 | |
| 294 | Like the same situation that used to ruin your entire day, | 就像以前破坏你整个一天一样 |
| 295 | you now just pass this through and you don't even notice it. | 你现在只是通过这个 你甚至没有注意到它。 |
| 296 | The same comment | 同一评论 |
| 297 | that used to hit a nerve and make you feel like less than barely even lands anymore. | 让你觉得自己连着陆都不如 |
| 298 | Like that | 像这样 |
| 299 | is the proof as real as it can be that you're healing and that you're growing and that you're | 证明你正在治愈 正在成长 |
| 300 | developing a deeper relationship with yourself. | 与自己发展更深层次的关系. |
| 301 | That's what we all should be working towards. | 我们都应该为此而努力。 |
| 302 | And that's how you really know that you've grown. | 所以你才知道自己已经长大了 |
| 303 | Not because life got easier in any way, | 并不是因为生活变得更容易, |
| 304 | but because you became more grounded within yourself. | 但因为你变得更扎根于你自己。 |
| 305 | And this is what I love about Stoicism, | 这就是我喜欢的斯托伊克主义, |
| 306 | like the Stoics really understood this deeply. | 就像斯多克人非常明白这一点 |
| 307 | Like they didn't try to control the world. | 就像他们没有试图控制世界一样. |
| 308 | They worked on themselves. | 他们靠自己工作。 |
| 309 | They focused on what was within their control, their thoughts, | 他们把注意力集中在他们能控制的东西上, 他们的思想, |
| 310 | their responses, their inner state. | 他们的反应,他们的内在状态。 |
| 311 | And I think that's one of the reasons why Stoic philosophy is | 我认为这就是斯托伊克哲学的原因之一 |
| 312 | making such a big comeback in the past five to 10 years is because there's so much truth to it. | 在过去的5到10年里 有了如此大的回击 因为它有这么多的真理。 |
| 313 | And so many people resonate with it. | 这么多人对此有共鸣。 |
| 314 | To become more Stoic in everything that we do requires us | 要在一切事情中更加斯托伊克 需要我们 |
| 315 | to keep working on ourselves. | 继续努力 |
| 316 | We can't control most of the circumstances in our life, but we | 我们无法控制我们生活中的大部分情况,但我们 |
| 317 | can't control how we react to the circumstances in our life. | 无法控制我们对生活环境的反应 |
| 318 | And that's what we should be trying to | 这正是我们应该尝试 |
| 319 | That's pretty much the only thing that we can really control because the world is always going | 这几乎是唯一我们能真正控制的东西 因为世界总是在发展 |
| 320 | to be unpredictable. | 无法预料 |
| 321 | People will always say things, situations will always happen, but your peace, | 人们总是会说话, 情况总是会发生, 但你的和平, |
| 322 | that's something that you can build. | 这是你可以建造的东西。 |
| 323 | That's something that you're in control of. | 这是你控制的东西。 |
| 324 | That's | 这是 |
| 325 | something that you can get more of. | 一些你可以得到更多的东西。 |
| 326 | And when you get to a place of peace, your calm doesn't have to | 当你到达一个和平的地方, 你的平静不必 |
| 327 | be something that you're forcing. | 成为你强迫的东西。 |
| 328 | It's just something that you are, something that other | 它只是你的东西,其他的东西 |
| 329 | people feel by being around you. | 人们在你身边的感觉。 |
| 330 | And so I want you to remember this. | 所以我希望你记住这一点。 |
| 331 | The goal is not to stop | 目标不是停止 |
| 332 | reacting completely. | 完全反应。 |
| 333 | The goal is to heal the part of you that feels like you need to react. | 目标是治愈你感到需要反应的部分. |
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