【人生感悟】我82岁：3类人我再也不会依赖 · 老人的人生忠
共 2 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 【人生感悟】我82岁：3类人我再也不会依赖 · 老人的人生忠 | 16:40 |
| P2 | 【人生感悟】我82岁：3类人我再也不会依赖 · 老人的人生忠 | 16:40 |
P1 · 【人生感悟】我82岁：3类人我再也不会依赖 · 老人的人生忠告：即使是家人也要设界限 p01 中英字幕 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | There are three people you must never depend on in old age. | 有三个人,你永远不能依赖 在老年。 |
| 0:04 | And yes, one of them is your family. | 是的,其中一个是你的家人。 |
| 0:07 | I know how that sounds. | 我知道这听起来如何。 |
| 0:09 | I loved all three of mine with my whole heart. | 我全心全意地爱着三个人 |
| 0:13 | I still do. | 我还在想 |
| 0:15 | But nobody warned me about this. | 但没人警告过我 |
| 0:17 | The people you love most won't always be there. | 你最爱的人不会一直在那里 |
| 0:21 | Your kids | 你的孩子们 |
| 0:22 | build their own lives. | 建立他们自己的生活。 |
| 0:23 | Your friends move away or get sick or die. | 你的朋友搬走或生病或死亡。 |
展开字幕全文（361 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | There are three people you must never depend on in old age. | 有三个人,你永远不能依赖 在老年。 |
| 2 | And yes, one of them is your family. | 是的,其中一个是你的家人。 |
| 3 | I know how that sounds. | 我知道这听起来如何。 |
| 4 | I loved all three of mine with my whole heart. | 我全心全意地爱着三个人 |
| 5 | I still do. | 我还在想 |
| 6 | But nobody warned me about this. | 但没人警告过我 |
| 7 | The people you love most won't always be there. | 你最爱的人不会一直在那里 |
| 8 | Your kids | 你的孩子们 |
| 9 | build their own lives. | 建立他们自己的生活。 |
| 10 | Your friends move away or get sick or die. | 你的朋友搬走或生病或死亡。 |
| 11 | Your husband or your wife may go | 你丈夫或妻子可以离开 |
| 12 | first. | 先说 |
| 13 | And one night, the house gets quiet. | 有一天晚上 房子变得安静 |
| 14 | And you ask yourself the question nobody prepares you for. | 你问自己一个没人准备好的问题 |
| 15 | When they're all gone, what's going to hold me up? | 当他们都走了,什么会拖累我? |
| 16 | I asked myself that at 79. | 我在79岁的时候问自己 |
| 17 | I was sitting alone at | 我一个人坐在这 |
| 18 | my kitchen table on a Sunday afternoon, in my good shoes, waiting for the phone to ring. | 我星期天下午的厨房餐桌 穿着好鞋子 等着电话铃声 |
| 19 | I'm 82 now. | 我现在82岁了 |
| 20 | So I'm going to tell you the three people you can't lean your whole life on. | 所以,我要告诉你三个人 你无法倾斜你的整个生活。 |
| 21 | Then the four things that held me up when they couldn't. | 然则四事不能时而牵我. |
| 22 | And then one more after that, | 之后又一个 |
| 23 | about a man I took care of who wore his good shoes every Sunday for six years. | 关于我照顾的一个男人 谁穿他的好鞋 每星期天六年。 |
| 24 | Stay for him. | 留下来陪他 |
| 25 | My name is Faye Sutter. | 我叫费・萨特 |
| 26 | I was a home health aide in Lubbock, Texas for 31 years. | 我在德克萨斯州卢布博克当了31年家庭保健助理 |
| 27 | I went into other people's homes every day. | 我每天都去别人的家里 |
| 28 | And I saw who had somebody and who was waiting. | 我看到谁有谁在等谁 |
| 29 | Before I start, put your age in the comments. | 在我开始之前 把你的年龄放在评论里 |
| 30 | Just the number. | 只有那个号码 |
| 31 | I want to know who's sitting with me. | 我想知道谁和我坐在一起 |
| 32 | Let me tell you about the first time I understood any of this. | 让我告诉你 我第一次知道这些 |
| 33 | I had a client named Lottie Graves. | 我有个客户叫洛蒂·格雷夫斯 |
| 34 | She was a 91. | 她是一个91。 |
| 35 | She lived alone in a little house off 50th Street. | 她独自住在50街的一间小房子里. |
| 36 | Her husband was gone. | 她丈夫不见了 |
| 37 | Her children lived up north. | 她的孩子住在北边 |
| 38 | Hardly anybody came to see her. | 几乎没有人来看她 |
| 39 | And she was the happiest woman I ever took care of. | 她是我照顾过最幸福的女人 |
| 40 | Every morning she sat by her kitchen window | 每天早上她都坐在厨房窗户边 |
| 41 | and fed the birds. | 并供养众鸟。 |
| 42 | She knew every one of them. | 她知道他们每个人。 |
| 43 | She'd named the blue jays. | 她给蓝鸦取了名字 |
| 44 | So one day I asked her, | 所以有一天我问她, |
| 45 | Lottie, don't you get lonely out here? | 洛蒂 你不寂寞吗? |
| 46 | She laughed at me. | 她对我笑了 |
| 47 | She said, honey, lonely is when | 她说,亲爱的,寂寞是什么时候 |
| 48 | you're waiting on somebody else to fill you up. | 你在等别人来填满你 |
| 49 | I learned a long time ago how to fill my own cup. | 很久之前我学会了如何填满自己的杯子 |
| 50 | I was 40 something years old. | 我那时才40岁 |
| 51 | I didn't understand her at all. | 我完全没理解她 |
| 52 | It took me a long, long time. | 我花了很长很长的时间 |
| 53 | So let's go through them, the three people. | 因此,让我们通过他们,三个人。 |
| 54 | Number one, your friends. | 第一,你的朋友们 |
| 55 | I want to be careful here because I've had wonderful friends. | 我想在这里小心 因为我有很好的朋友。 |
| 56 | My best friend Juanita and | 我最好的朋友胡安妮塔和 |
| 57 | I were close for 40 years. | 我亲近了40年 |
| 58 | We raised our kids together. | 我们一起抚养孩子 |
| 59 | We buried our mothers together. | 我们把母亲葬在一起 |
| 60 | And every Thursday there were eight of us at the same table at the same coffee shop. | 每个星期四,我们有八个人在同一家咖啡店的同一个桌子上。 |
| 61 | And then one at a time, it changed. | 然后一个一个地改变 |
| 62 | Juanita moved to Phoenix to be near her grandbabies. | 胡安妮塔搬到凤凰城,在她的孙子身边. |
| 63 | Two of the girls passed. | 其中两个女孩通过。 |
| 64 | One went into memory care and didn't know me anymore. | 一个人去照顾记忆 不再了解我。 |
| 65 | One moved in with her daughter in Houston. | 一个和她的女儿搬到休斯顿 |
| 66 | One just stopped coming and I never really found out why. | 一个只是停止来了, 我从来没有真正发现为什么。 |
| 67 | By the time I was 75, it was two of us at that table, me and a woman named Bev. | 在75岁的时候,我和一位叫贝夫的女人 坐在那个桌子上 |
| 68 | And Bev talked | 和贝芙说话 |
| 69 | about her knees the whole time. | 关于她的膝盖 整个时间。 |
| 70 | Now I'm not telling you to stop having friends. | 现在我不是要你停止交朋友 |
| 71 | Lord, no. | 主,没有。 |
| 72 | Keep everyone you can. | 尽你所能 |
| 73 | Call them. | 打给他们 |
| 74 | Send the card. | 发牌. |
| 75 | But don't build your whole week on them. | 但不要把整个星期都建在他们身上 |
| 76 | Don't make them the floor you stand on. | 别让他们在你站的地板上。 |
| 77 | Because at our age, friends move and friends get sick | 因为在我们这个年纪 朋友搬家 朋友生病了 |
| 78 | and friends die. | 朋友会死 |
| 79 | That's nobody's fault. | 这不是任何人的错。 |
| 80 | That's just what this part of life is. | 这就是生命的这一部分 |
| 81 | So here's my question for you. | 我问你个问题 |
| 82 | If your three closest friends were gone tomorrow, | 如果你三个最亲密的朋友明天走了 |
| 83 | what would your week look like? | 你的一周会是什么样子? |
| 84 | If the answer is empty, then you're leaning too hard on number one. | 如果答案是空的,那么你对第一的倾斜太用力了. |
| 85 | Love your friends. | 爱你的朋友。 |
| 86 | Just make sure you've still got a week left when they're not in it. | 只要确保你还有一个星期 当他们不在它。 |
| 87 | Number two is the one that's going to sting. | 其二是将刺者. |
| 88 | Number two, your children. | 第二,你们的孩子 |
| 89 | I'll start with what | 我先说 |
| 90 | I saw on the job because I saw it a hundred times. | 我在工作上看到,因为我看到它一百次。 |
| 91 | I'd walk into a house and the first thing a lot of | 我走进一个房子,第一件事很多 |
| 92 | my clients would tell me was when their son or daughter was coming. | 我的客户会告诉我 当他们的儿子或女儿来。 |
| 93 | My son's coming Saturday. | 我儿子星期六会来 |
| 94 | My daughter's flying in at Easter. | 我女儿在复活节飞来 |
| 95 | They'd tell me in March about Easter. | 他们会在三月告诉我复活节的事 |
| 96 | And then Saturday would | 然后周六会 |
| 97 | come and something came up. | 来了,有事发生。 |
| 98 | Work. | 工作时 |
| 99 | A kid's game. | 一个孩子的游戏。 |
| 100 | A flat tire. | 平轮胎。 |
| 101 | And I'd watch that mother or father | 我会看着那个母亲或父亲 |
| 102 | just fold up a little like the air went out of them. | 就像空气从他们身上消失一样 |
| 103 | I swore that would never be me. | 我发誓,那永远不会是我。 |
| 104 | And then, | 礛 |
| 105 | well, it was me. | 嗯,这是我。 |
| 106 | My daughter Renee lives in Dallas. | 我女儿蕾妮住在达拉斯 |
| 107 | She's a good daughter. | 她是个好女儿 |
| 108 | She's got a husband. | She婆有丈夫. |
| 109 | Three kids. | 三个孩子。 |
| 110 | A job that wears her out. | 一份令她疲惫的工作 |
| 111 | My son Mitch lives 40 minutes away and calls on Sundays. | 我儿子米奇住在40分钟外 周日打电话来 |
| 112 | 或者是他杀的 Or he did. | |
| 113 | I mean every Sunday. | 我是说每个星期天 |
| 114 | Then it was most Sundays. | 然后是大多数星期天。 |
| 115 | Then it was every other Sunday. | 之后每隔一个星期天 |
| 116 | And I noticed I was planning my whole Sunday around that phone call. | 我注意到我整个星期天都在计划 围绕那个电话。 |
| 117 | I wouldn't go to the | 我不会去 |
| 118 | store in case I missed it. | 以防我错过 |
| 119 | I'd put my good shoes on after church in case he said, | 我会穿上我的好鞋 在教堂后,以防他说, |
| 120 | Mom, we're stopping by. | 妈妈,我们要过来一趟 |
| 121 | I'd sit at this table with the phone right here and wait. | 我会坐在这个桌子上 电话就在这里等待。 |
| 122 | You might | 你会 |
| 123 | be doing that right now. | 现在就去 |
| 124 | Waiting for a call. | 等唤. |
| 125 | Waiting for a visit. | 等见. |
| 126 | Counting the days until | 数起直到 |
| 127 | Christmas because that's when they come. | 圣诞节就是他们来的时候 |
| 128 | So I want to say this as gently as I can. | 所以我想尽可能轻轻地说这些。 |
| 129 | Your children love you and your children have their own lives. | 你的孩子爱你和你的孩子有自己的生活。 |
| 130 | Both of those things are true | 这两件事都是真的 |
| 131 | at the same time. | 同时。 |
| 132 | And you can't make one of them go away. | 你不能让其中之一消失。 |
| 133 | When you make your children your whole | 当你把孩子变成你的完整 |
| 134 | reason to get up in the morning, you're handing them a weight they never asked to carry. | 早上起床的理由, 你给他们一个重量 他们从来没有要求携带。 |
| 135 | And they | 他们 |
| 136 | feel it, honey. | 感觉到它,亲爱的。 |
| 137 | They feel it every time they hear your voice drop when they say they can't come. | 他们每次听到你的声音 都觉得他们不能来 |
| 138 | Love your children. | 爱你的孩子 |
| 139 | Just don't make them hold your whole life up. | 别让他们耽误你的一生 |
| 140 | Number three, | 三号 |
| 141 | your husband or your wife. | 你丈夫还是你妻子 |
| 142 | This one I learned the hard way and I learned it at the worst possible | 这个是我学得最难的 最坏的方法 |
| 143 | time. | 时间。 |
| 144 | Glenn and I were married 54 years. | 格伦和我结婚54年了 |
| 145 | He was a good, quiet man and he took care of everything. | 他是个好人 安静的 他照顾一切 |
| 146 | He paid the bills. | 他支付了账单。 |
| 147 | He talked to the bank. | 他和银行谈过了 |
| 148 | He knew which man to call when the furnace went out. | 他知道火炉熄灭时该叫谁 |
| 149 | He did the taxes at this very table every April with a pencil behind his ear. | 他每年四月都用铅笔在这张桌子上交税 |
| 150 | I never once looked at the checkbook and I didn't think I needed to. | 我从未看过支票簿 我并不认为我需要 |
| 151 | Well, Glenn died the winter I | 格伦在冬天去世了 |
| 152 | was 77. | 当时77岁。 |
| 153 | It was his heart. | 这是他的心脏。 |
| 154 | It was quick. | 动作很快 |
| 155 | And about three weeks after the funeral, the furnace went | 大约三周后的葬礼, 炉子去了 |
| 156 | out. | 出来。 |
| 157 | It was 19 degrees outside and I stood in my kitchen in my coat and I didn't know who to call. | 外面是19度 我穿着外套站在厨房里 我不知道该给谁打电话 |
| 158 | I didn't know where he kept the number. | 我不知道他把号码放哪儿了 |
| 159 | I didn't know which bank the house insurance was with. | 我不知道房屋保险是哪家银行的 |
| 160 | I didn't even know the password to my own account. | 我都不知道自己账户的密码 |
| 161 | I sat down on the kitchen floor and cried. | 我坐在厨房地板上哭着 |
| 162 | And I'll be honest with you, I was crying for Glenn and I was crying because I was an old woman | 老实说 我为格伦而哭 因为我是个老女人 |
| 163 | who didn't know how to take care of herself. | 谁不知道如何照顾自己。 |
| 164 | So if you're married right now, I want you to do | 所以,如果你现在结婚了, 我希望你这样做 |
| 165 | something this week. | 这周的事 |
| 166 | Sit down with your husband or your wife and learn where everything is. | 与丈夫或妻子同坐,学一切处. |
| 167 | The bills, the bank, the furnace man. | 钞票 银行 炉匠 |
| 168 | Because one of you is going to go first | 因为你们中的一个先走 |
| 169 | and the one who's left deserves to know how to keep the heat on. | 和谁离开了谁应该知道 如何保持热。 |
| 170 | Love your husband or your wife with everything you've got. | 以一切法爱丈夫或妻子. |
| 171 | Just don't let them be the only one | 只是不要让他们是唯一一个 |
| 172 | who knows how your life works. | 谁知道你的生活如何运行。 |
| 173 | So those are the three. | 这就是三个。 |
| 174 | Your friends, your children, | 你的朋友,你的孩子们, |
| 175 | your husband or your wife. | 你丈夫还是你妻子 |
| 176 | Never depend on these three for everything. | 永不依依此三门一切. |
| 177 | Even family, | 连家人 |
| 178 | especially family because those are the ones that hurts the most to lose. | 特别是家庭,因为那些 伤害最大的损失。 |
| 179 | Now I can hear some of you saying, well then who in the world am I supposed to depend on? | 现在,我听到你们中的一些人说, 那么,我应该依赖谁呢? |
| 180 | That's the right question. | 问对了. |
| 181 | And here's what held me up when all three of mine couldn't. | 而这就是我三个人都做不到的时候 把我扶起来的原因 |
| 182 | There are four things. | 有四义. |
| 183 | I learned every one of them after Glenn died. | 格伦死后我学会了每一个 |
| 184 | The first thing is a quiet mind. | 第一件事是一个安静的心灵。 |
| 185 | After Glenn died, I couldn't stand the quiet in this house. | 格伦死后 我受不了这房子里的安静 |
| 186 | So I filled it. | 所以我装满了 |
| 187 | I had the TV going from the time I got up until I went to bed. | 我从起床到睡觉都把电视开着 |
| 188 | The news, | 新闻 |
| 189 | the game shows, the weather channel. | 游戏节目 天气频道 |
| 190 | I didn't even watch it. | 我都没看 |
| 191 | I just needed a voice. | 我只是需要一个声音。 |
| 192 | And the more noise I had, the worse I felt. | 声音越响,我感觉就越糟糕。 |
| 193 | I was nervous all the time. | 我一直都很紧张 |
| 194 | I couldn't sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| 195 | So one morning I tried something. | 所以有一天早上,我尝试了一些东西。 |
| 196 | I turned everything off for one hour, just one. | 我关了一小时,就一个小时 |
| 197 | I sat right here with my coffee and I let it be quiet. | 我坐在这里 与我的咖啡 我让它安静。 |
| 198 | The first few mornings, I mean, | 头几个早上,我的意思是, |
| 199 | it was awful. | 这是可怕的。 |
| 200 | All the old stuff came up. | 老东西都出来了 |
| 201 | Things I said to Glenn, I wish I hadn't. | 我对格伦说的话 真希望我没有 |
| 202 | Things I never said to my mother. | 我从未对我母亲说过的事 |
| 203 | But I kept doing it. | 但我一直这样 |
| 204 | And after a few weeks, something changed. | 几个星期后,情况发生了改变。 |
| 205 | I started sleeping through the night. | 我开始睡了一夜 |
| 206 | The quiet stopped scaring me. | 安静不让我害怕了 |
| 207 | I could sit here and watch | 我可以坐在这里看 |
| 208 | the birds at the feeder the way Lottie did and feel fine. | 鸟儿们在支线上 就像洛蒂一样 感觉很好 |
| 209 | I figured out what my real problem was. | 我发现我真正的问题是什么了 |
| 210 | I'd never learned how to sit with myself. | 我从来没有学过如何和自己坐在一起。 |
| 211 | The second thing is accepting what you can't change. | 第二件事是接受你无法改变的东西。 |
| 212 | For a long time after Glenn died, I kept a list in my head. | 在格伦死后很长一段时间里,我脑海中留了一张名单. |
| 213 | How many times Renee called? | 蕾妮打了多少电话? |
| 214 | How many times Mitch came by? | 米奇来过多少次? |
| 215 | How long since Juanita wrote? | 胡安娜塔写了多久? |
| 216 | I was keeping score and I was always losing. | 我在记分,我总是输 |
| 217 | Then well, I had a talk with an old friend from church, | 我和教会的老朋友谈过了 |
| 218 | a widow like me. | 像我这样的寡妇 |
| 219 | Her kids came to see her once a year at Christmas. | 她的孩子每年圣诞节来看她一次. |
| 220 | And she was the most peaceful | 她是最平静的 |
| 221 | woman I knew. | 我认识的女人 |
| 222 | So I asked her how she did it. | 所以我问她怎么做到的 |
| 223 | And she said, Faye, I quit fighting what I can't change. | 她说,Faye,我不再反抗我无法改变的东西了。 |
| 224 | My kids come once a year. | 我的孩子每年来一次。 |
| 225 | So I decided to love the once. | 所以我决定爱一次。 |
| 226 | That stuck with me. | 坚持住 |
| 227 | Her life didn't | 她的生活没有 |
| 228 | change one bit. | 改变一点。 |
| 229 | The way she lived it did. | 她的生活就是这样 |
| 230 | So I quit keeping score. | 所以我不再记分了 |
| 231 | Renee calls when she can. | 蕾妮在她有空的时候打电话 |
| 232 | Mitch comes when he can. | 米奇能来就来 |
| 233 | And when they do, I'm glad instead of hurt that it wasn't sooner. | 当他们这样做,我很高兴 而不是伤害它不是早。 |
| 234 | The third thing is somebody waiting on you. | 第三件事是有人等着你 |
| 235 | Something in your week outside your family | 在你周里你家人之外的东西 |
| 236 | that needs you to show up. | 这需要你出现。 |
| 237 | For me, it's Tuesday mornings at the elementary school down the street. | 对我来说,这是星期二早上 在街道的小学。 |
| 238 | I read to the first graders. | 我读到一年级。 |
| 239 | I've done it for three years now. | 我已经做了三年了 |
| 240 | There's a little boy named Mateo who | 有一个叫马特奥的小男孩 |
| 241 | saves me the seat next to him every single week. | 每星期都给我留一个座位 |
| 242 | And well, some Tuesdays my knees hurt so bad I | 周二我膝盖疼得要命 |
| 243 | don't want to go. | 不想去。 不想去吗? |
| 244 | But I think about Mateo sitting there next to an empty chair and I get my shoes on. | 但我想到马特奥坐在空椅子旁边 我穿着鞋子 |
| 245 | As long as somebody's waiting on me, I've got a reason to get dressed. | 只要有人在等我 我有理由换衣服 |
| 246 | It doesn't have to be a | 没必要是 |
| 247 | It can be a neighbor who needs a ride, a garden, a dog, a church that needs somebody to fold the | 可能是邻居需要搭车 需要花园 需要狗 需要有人来折叠 |
| 248 | bulletins. | 公告。 |
| 249 | It just has to be somewhere you're expected. | 它只是必须去你期待的地方。 |
| 250 | When your whole happiness depends on | 当你的幸福取决于 |
| 251 | people calling you, you're going to be disappointed a lot. | 人们打电话给你, 你会非常失望。 |
| 252 | When it depends on you showing up for | 当它取决于你出现 |
| 253 | something, you're in charge of it. | 某事,由你负责 |
| 254 | The fourth thing is God. | 第四义是神. |
| 255 | I know not everybody watching | 我知道不是每个人都在看 |
| 256 | believes the way I do. | 信我这样 |
| 257 | But I'd be lying to you if I left this out because this is the one that held | 但我会骗你,如果我不说这个, 因为这是一个持有 |
| 258 | me up the most. | 我最多起来。 |
| 259 | After Glenn died, I spent a long time asking God why. | 格伦死后,我花了很长时间问上帝为什么. |
| 260 | Why him? | 为什么是他? |
| 261 | Why now? | 为什么是现在? |
| 262 | Why me by | 为什么是我 |
| 263 | myself on a kitchen floor in the cold? | 在寒冷的厨房地板上? |
| 264 | And one night, well, I just stopped asking why. | 有一天晚上 我不再问为什么 |
| 265 | I started | 我开始 |
| 266 | asking him what's next. | 问他下一个是什么。 |
| 267 | That changed everything for me. | 那改变了我的一切 |
| 268 | Friends leave. | 朋友离开。 |
| 269 | Children move. | 小孩会动 |
| 270 | Husbands die. | 诸丈夫死. |
| 271 | But I have never once been in this kitchen by myself. | 但我从未一个人进过厨房 |
| 272 | Not really. | 没有 |
| 273 | When everybody else leaves, | 当其他人离开时, |
| 274 | he stays. | 他留下来。 |
| 275 | So that's the four. | 故此四谛. |
| 276 | A quiet mind. | 一个安静的头脑。 |
| 277 | Accepting what you can't change. | 接受你无法改变的东西 |
| 278 | Somebody | 有人吗? |
| 279 | waiting on you and God. | 等着你和上帝 |
| 280 | But I promised you one more. | 但我还答应过你一个 |
| 281 | Mr. Ochoa. | 奥乔亚先生 |
| 282 | Mr. Ochoa was one of my clients. | 奥乔亚先生是我的客户之一。 |
| 283 | About 15 years ago. | 大约15年前 |
| 284 | A retired mechanic. | 一个退休的机械师。 |
| 285 | Sweet man. | 帅哥 |
| 286 | His wife had passed and his only son lived in | 他的妻子去世了,他唯一的儿子住在这里 |
| 287 | Amarillo 在路上几个小时。 | |
| 288 | Every Sunday Mr. Ochoa put on his good shoes. | 每个星期天,奥乔亚先生都穿好鞋子 |
| 289 | Polished | 波兰语 |
| 290 | brown leather. | 棕色皮革(原变种). |
| 291 | He'd shine them on Saturday night. | 他会在周六晚上照亮他们 |
| 292 | And on Sunday, he'd sit in his chair by the front | 星期天,他坐在前面的椅子上 |
| 293 | window. | 图标。 |
| 294 | All dressed. | 皆着衣. |
| 295 | In his good shoes. | 穿着他的好鞋 |
| 296 | In case his son came. | 以防他儿子来 |
| 297 | I took care of him for six years. | 我照顾他六年了 |
| 298 | And his son came, I mean, twice. | 他儿子来了两次 |
| 299 | Twice. | 两次 |
| 300 | In six years. | 于六年内. |
| 301 | And every other Sunday Mr. Ochoa sat in | 每隔一周的星期天,奥乔亚先生就坐在那里 |
| 302 | that window in his good shoes. | 他鞋上的窗户 |
| 303 | Until it got dark. | 直到天黑为止 |
| 304 | Then he'd take them off real slow and set them by | 然后他慢慢地把它们脱下来,然后把他们送走 |
| 305 | for next week. | 下个星期 |
| 306 | He died on a Sunday. | 他死于一个星期天。 |
| 307 | And I was the one who found him. | 是我发现了他 |
| 308 | He was in his chair by the | 他坐在椅子旁边 |
| 309 | window. | 图标。 |
| 310 | And he had his good shoes on. | 他穿着他的好鞋。 |
| 311 | I went home that day and I sat in my car in the driveway for | 那天我回家 坐在车道上 |
| 312 | a long time. | 好久不见 |
| 313 | And I told myself, Faye, that will never be you. | 我告诉自己,费伊,那永远不会是你。 |
| 314 | And years later, there I was. | 数年后,我在那里。 |
| 315 | 79 | 页:1 |
| 316 | years old at my kitchen table in my good shoes waiting for a phone that didn't ring. | 年老在我的厨房桌 穿着我的好鞋 等待一个电话 没有响。 |
| 317 | That's when | 那时 |
| 318 | I remembered Mr. Ochoa. | 我记得奥乔亚先生 |
| 319 | And I remembered Lottie at her window feeding the birds. | 我记得洛蒂在她窗口喂鸟 |
| 320 | Happy as anything | 高兴什么的 |
| 321 | waiting on nobody. | 等待无人。 |
| 322 | Same kind of window. | 同样的窗口。 |
| 323 | Same kind of quiet house. | 一样安静的房子。 |
| 324 | One of them was waiting for somebody | 其中一个在等人 |
| 325 | to fill him up. | 以灌顶他. |
| 326 | The other one had learned how to fill her own cup. | 另一个已经学会了如何填满自己的杯子。 |
| 327 | So well I took my good shoes off. | 所以好,我脱掉了我的好鞋。 |
| 328 | And I put them in the closet. | 我把它们放在衣柜里 |
| 329 | And I haven't worn them on a Sunday afternoon since. | 我从星期天下午起就没穿过 |
| 330 | And here's the | 这是 |
| 331 | part that surprised me. | 这让我吃惊 |
| 332 | When I stopped leaning my whole life on my family, every single one of those | 当我不再把一生 都靠在家人身上时 每一个 |
| 333 | relationships got kinder. | 关系更亲切 |
| 334 | Renee calls now because she wants to instead of because she feels guilty. | Renee现在打电话来 是因为她想 而不是因为她觉得内疚 |
| 335 | Last month she said, Mom, you sound happy. | 上个月她说 妈妈 你听起来很开心 |
| 336 | And I said, Honey, I am. | 我说,亲爱的,我是。 |
| 337 | Mitch stops by and I'm not | 米奇来了,我不是 |
| 338 | hurt that he didn't come sooner. | 伤害他没早点来 |
| 339 | I'm just glad to see him. | 我很高兴见到他。 |
| 340 | And he stays longer because I'm not | 他留下来的时间更长 因为我不是 |
| 341 | making him feel bad for leaving. | 让他觉得离开不好 |
| 342 | When you stop needing people to hold you up, you finally get | 当你不再需要别人来抱你的时候 你终于得到了 |
| 343 | to just enjoy them. | 只是享受他们。 |
| 344 | So please hear me. | 所以请听我说。 |
| 345 | Never depend on these three for everything. | 永不依依此三门一切. |
| 346 | Your friends, | 你的朋友们 |
| 347 | your children, your husband, or your wife. | 你的孩子,你的丈夫,或你的妻子。 |
| 348 | Even family. | 乃至眷属. |
| 349 | Love them with all you've got. | 尽情爱他们 |
| 350 | Just learn to stand on your own two feet. | 只要学会站在自己的双脚。 |
| 351 | So loving them never has to be a burden on them. | 所以爱他们绝不是他们的负担 |
| 352 | Now tell me in the comments, which one of the three are you leaning on the hardest right now? | 现在在评论中告诉我,你现在最依赖的是哪一个? |
| 353 | Just tell me the truth. | 告诉我真相 |
| 354 | And if you've got a Lottie or a Mr. Ochoa in your life, | 如果你有 洛蒂或奥乔亚先生在你的生活中, |
| 355 | tell me about them. | 告诉我他们。 |
| 356 | I read every one. | 我每读一次。 |
| 357 | This Sunday I'll be in my house slippers. | 这个星期天我会在我的家里拖鞋。 |
| 358 | And when my son calls, I'll be so glad to hear from him. | 当我儿子打来电话时 我会很高兴听到他的消息 |
| 359 | And if he doesn't, I'll be just fine. | 如果他不这样做,我会很好。 |
| 360 | Take care of yourself, honey. | 保重 亲爱的 |
| 361 | I'll see you next time. | 下次见 |
该视频共有字幕 361 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 【人生感悟】我82岁：3类人我再也不会依赖 · 老人的人生忠告：即使是家人也要设界限 p02 英文字幕 (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | There are three people you must never depend on in old age. | 有三个人,你永远不能依赖 在老年。 |
| 0:04 | And yes, one of them is your family. | 是的,其中一个是你的家人。 |
| 0:07 | I know how that sounds. | 我知道这听起来如何。 |
| 0:09 | I loved all three of mine with my whole heart. | 我全心全意地爱着三个人 |
| 0:13 | I still do. | 我还在想 |
| 0:15 | But nobody warned me about this. | 但没人警告过我 |
| 0:17 | The people you love most won't always be there. | 你最爱的人不会一直在那里 |
| 0:21 | Your kids | 你的孩子们 |
| 0:22 | build their own lives. | 建立他们自己的生活。 |
| 0:23 | Your friends move away or get sick or die. | 你的朋友搬走或生病或死亡。 |
展开字幕全文（390 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | There are three people you must never depend on in old age. | 有三个人,你永远不能依赖 在老年。 |
| 2 | And yes, one of them is your family. | 是的,其中一个是你的家人。 |
| 3 | I know how that sounds. | 我知道这听起来如何。 |
| 4 | I loved all three of mine with my whole heart. | 我全心全意地爱着三个人 |
| 5 | I still do. | 我还在想 |
| 6 | But nobody warned me about this. | 但没人警告过我 |
| 7 | The people you love most won't always be there. | 你最爱的人不会一直在那里 |
| 8 | Your kids | 你的孩子们 |
| 9 | build their own lives. | 建立他们自己的生活。 |
| 10 | Your friends move away or get sick or die. | 你的朋友搬走或生病或死亡。 |
| 11 | Your husband or your wife may go | 你丈夫或妻子可以离开 |
| 12 | first. | 先说 |
| 13 | And one night the house gets quiet and you ask yourself the question nobody prepares you for. | 有一天晚上 房子变得安静 你问自己 没人准备好你的问题 |
| 14 | When they're all gone, what's going to hold me up? | 当他们都走了,什么会拖累我? |
| 15 | I asked myself that at 79. | 我在79岁的时候问自己 |
| 16 | I was sitting alone | 我一个人坐着 |
| 17 | at my kitchen table on a Sunday afternoon in my good shoes waiting for the phone to ring. | 星期天下午在我的厨房餐桌上 穿着好鞋子等着电话响 |
| 18 | I'm 82 now. | 我现在82岁了 |
| 19 | So I'm going to tell you the three people you can't lean your whole life on. | 所以,我要告诉你三个人 你无法倾斜你的整个生活。 |
| 20 | Then the four things that held me up when they couldn't. | 然则四事不能时而牵我. |
| 21 | And then one more after that about a | 之后又有一个 |
| 22 | man I took care of who wore his good shoes every Sunday for six years. | 我照顾谁穿他的好鞋 每星期天六年。 |
| 23 | Stay for him. | 留下来陪他 |
| 24 | My name is | 我的名字是 |
| 25 | Faye Sutter. | 费·萨特. |
| 26 | I was a home health aide in Lubbock, Texas for 31 years. | 我在德克萨斯州卢布博克当了31年家庭保健助理 |
| 27 | I went into other people's | 我去了别人家 |
| 28 | homes every day and I saw who had somebody and who was waiting. | 每天回家 我看见谁有谁在等 |
| 29 | Before I start, put your age in | 在我开始之前 把你的年龄放进去 |
| 30 | the comments. | 评论。 |
| 31 | Just the number. | 只有那个号码 |
| 32 | I want to know who's sitting with me. | 我想知道谁和我坐在一起 |
| 33 | Let me tell you about the first | 让我告诉你第一个 |
| 34 | time I understood any of this. | 我了解这一切 |
| 35 | I had a client named Lottie Graves. | 我有个客户叫洛蒂·格雷夫斯 |
| 36 | She was a 91. | 她是一个91。 |
| 37 | She lived alone in a | 她独居于一个 |
| 38 | house off 50th Street. | 50号大街外的房子 |
| 39 | Her husband was gone. | 她丈夫不见了 |
| 40 | Her children lived up north. | 她的孩子住在北边 |
| 41 | Hardly anybody came to | 几乎没有人来 |
| 42 | see her. | 见到她。 |
| 43 | And she was the happiest woman I ever took care of. | 她是我照顾过最幸福的女人 |
| 44 | Every morning she sat by her kitchen | 每天早上她都坐在厨房旁边 |
| 45 | window and fed the birds. | 并喂养鸟类。 |
| 46 | She knew every one of them. | 她知道他们每个人。 |
| 47 | She'd named the Blue Jays. | 她叫蓝杰 |
| 48 | So one day I asked | 所以有一天我问 |
| 49 | her, Lottie, don't you get lonely out here? | 她,洛蒂,你不觉得寂寞吗? |
| 50 | She laughed at me. | 她对我笑了 |
| 51 | She said, honey, lonely is when | 她说,亲爱的,寂寞是什么时候 |
| 52 | you're waiting on somebody else to fill you up. | 你在等别人来填满你 |
| 53 | I learned a long time ago how to fill my own cup. | 很久之前我学会了如何填满自己的杯子 |
| 54 | I was 40 something years old. | 我那时才40岁 |
| 55 | I didn't understand her at all. | 我完全没理解她 |
| 56 | It took me a long, long time. | 我花了很长很长的时间 |
| 57 | So let's go through them. | 让我们通过它们。 |
| 58 | The three people. | 三者众生. |
| 59 | Number one, your friends. | 第一,你的朋友们 |
| 60 | I want to be careful | 我想小心点 |
| 61 | here because I've had wonderful friends. | 因为我有很好的朋友 |
| 62 | My best friend Juanita and I were close for 40 years. | 我最好的朋友Juanita和我亲近了40年 |
| 63 | We raised our kids together. | 我们一起抚养孩子 |
| 64 | We buried our mothers together. | 我们把母亲葬在一起 |
| 65 | And every Thursday there were eight of | 每个星期四有8个 |
| 66 | us at the same table at the same coffee shop. | 我们在同一桌 在同一个咖啡店。 |
| 67 | And then one at a time. | 然后一时一时. |
| 68 | It changed. | 变了 |
| 69 | Juanita moved to | 胡安妮塔搬来 |
| 70 | Phoenix to be near her grandbabies. | 凤姐要靠近她的孙子 |
| 71 | Two of the girls passed. | 其中两个女孩通过。 |
| 72 | One went into memory care and didn't | 一个进过记忆护理,没有 |
| 73 | know me anymore. | 认识我了 |
| 74 | One moved in with her daughter in Houston. | 一个和她的女儿搬到休斯顿 |
| 75 | One just stopped coming and I never | 一个刚停止来,我从来没有 |
| 76 | really found out why. | 真的发现了原因。 |
| 77 | By the time I was 75, it was two of us at that table. | 我75岁的时候,我们两个在那桌 |
| 78 | Me and a woman | 我和一个女人 |
| 79 | 名为Bev. | |
| 80 | And Bev talked about her knees the whole time. | 毕夫一直在谈论她的膝盖 |
| 81 | Now I'm not telling you to stop having | 现在,我不是要你停止拥有 |
| 82 | friends. | 朋友们 |
| 83 | Lord, no. | 主,没有。 |
| 84 | Keep everyone you can. | 尽你所能 |
| 85 | Call them. | 打给他们 |
| 86 | Send the card. | 发牌. |
| 87 | But don't build your whole | 但不要建立你的整个 |
| 88 | on them. | 他们。 |
| 89 | Don't make them the floor you stand on. | 别让他们在你站的地板上。 |
| 90 | Because at our age, friends move. | 因为在我们这个年纪,朋友会搬家 |
| 91 | And friends get | 朋友会得到 |
| 92 | sick. | 恶心 |
| 93 | And friends die. | 朋友也会死 |
| 94 | That's nobody's fault. | 这不是任何人的错。 |
| 95 | That's just what this part of life is. | 这就是生命的这一部分 |
| 96 | So here's my | 这是我的 |
| 97 | question for you. | 问你问题 |
| 98 | If your three closest friends were gone tomorrow, what would your week look like? | 如果你三个最亲密的朋友明天走了 你一周会是什么样子? |
| 99 | If the answer is empty, then you're leaning too hard on number one. | 如果答案是空的,那么你对第一的倾斜太用力了. |
| 100 | Love your friends. | 爱你的朋友。 |
| 101 | Just make sure you've still got a week left when they're not in it. | 只要确保你还有一个星期 当他们不在它。 |
| 102 | Number two | 二号 |
| 103 | is the one that's going to sting. | 就是那个会刺痛的人 |
| 104 | Number two. | 第二义. |
| 105 | Your children. | 孩子们 |
| 106 | I'll start with what I saw on the job | 我先从工作上看到的开始 |
| 107 | because I saw it a hundred times. | 因为我看过一百遍了 |
| 108 | I'd walk into a house. | 我会走进一个房子。 |
| 109 | And the first thing a lot of my clients | 还有我很多客户的第一件事 |
| 110 | would tell me was when their son or daughter was coming. | 会告诉我他们儿子或女儿什么时候来 |
| 111 | My son's coming Saturday. | 我儿子星期六会来 |
| 112 | иㄠ | |
| 113 | flying in at Easter. | 飞进复活节。 |
| 114 | They'd tell me in March about Easter. | 他们会在三月告诉我复活节的事 |
| 115 | And then Saturday would come. | 然后周六会来 |
| 116 | And something came up. | 和一些东西出现了。 |
| 117 | Work. | 工作时 |
| 118 | A kid's game. | 一个孩子的游戏。 |
| 119 | A flat tire. | 平轮胎。 |
| 120 | And I'd watch that mother or father just | 我会看着那个父母 |
| 121 | fold up a little. | 叠起来一点。 |
| 122 | Like the air went out of them. | 就像空气从他们身上消失一样 |
| 123 | I swore that would never be me. | 我发誓,那永远不会是我。 |
| 124 | And then, well, | 礛 |
| 125 | it was me. | 刚才是我 |
| 126 | My daughter Renee lives in Dallas. | 我女儿蕾妮住在达拉斯 |
| 127 | She's a good daughter. | 她是个好女儿 |
| 128 | She's got a husband. | She婆有丈夫. |
| 129 | Three kids. | 三个孩子。 |
| 130 | A job that wears her out. | 一份令她疲惫的工作 |
| 131 | My son Mitch lives 40 minutes away and calls on Sundays. | 我儿子米奇住在40分钟外 周日打电话来 |
| 132 | 或者是他杀的 Or he did. | |
| 133 | I mean every Sunday. | 我是说每个星期天 |
| 134 | Then it was most Sundays. | 然后是大多数星期天。 |
| 135 | Then it was every other Sunday. | 之后每隔一个星期天 |
| 136 | And I noticed I | 我发现 |
| 137 | was planning my whole Sunday around that phone call. | 我整个星期天都在安排电话 |
| 138 | I wouldn't go to the store in case I missed | 我不会去商店 以防我错过 |
| 139 | it. | 这个 |
| 140 | I'd put my good shoes on after church in case he said, Mom, we're stopping by. | 我会穿上我的好鞋 在教堂后,以防他说,妈妈,我们来了。 |
| 141 | I'd sit at this | 我坐在这里 |
| 142 | table with the phone right here and wait. | 电话放在桌子上等着 |
| 143 | You might be doing that right now. | 你可能正在这样做。 |
| 144 | Waiting for a call. | 等唤. |
| 145 | Waiting for a visit. | 等见. |
| 146 | Counting the days until Christmas because that's when they come. | 计数圣诞节前的日子 因为那是他们来的时候。 |
| 147 | So I want to say this as gently as I can. | 所以我想尽可能轻轻地说这些。 |
| 148 | Your children love you and your children have their | 你的孩子爱你,你的孩子有他们 |
| 149 | own lives. | 拥有生命 |
| 150 | Both of those things are true at the same time. | 这两种情况同时是真实的。 |
| 151 | And you can't make one of them go away. | 你不能让其中之一消失。 |
| 152 | When you make your children your whole reason to get up in the morning, you're handing them a weight | 当你让你的孩子 你的全部理由 起床在早晨, 你给他们一个重量 |
| 153 | they never asked to carry. | 他们从来没有要求携带。 |
| 154 | And they feel it, honey. | 他们感觉到了 亲爱的 |
| 155 | They feel it every time they hear your voice drop | 他们每次听到你的声音都会感觉到 |
| 156 | when they say they can't come. | 当他们说不能来的时候 |
| 157 | Love your children. | 爱你的孩子 |
| 158 | Just don't make them hold your whole life up. | 别让他们耽误你的一生 |
| 159 | Number three. | 三号 |
| 160 | Your husband or your wife. | 你的丈夫或你的妻子。 你的丈夫或你的妻子。 |
| 161 | This one I learned the hard way. | 这个是我学的 |
| 162 | And I learned it at the | 我学会了在 |
| 163 | worst possible time. | 最糟糕的时间。 |
| 164 | Glenn and I were married 54 years. | 格伦和我结婚54年了 |
| 165 | He was a good, quiet man. | 他是个好,安静的人。 |
| 166 | And he took care | 他照顾好 |
| 167 | of everything. | 所有东西。 |
| 168 | He paid the bills. | 他支付了账单。 |
| 169 | He talked to the bank. | 他和银行谈过了 |
| 170 | He knew which man to call when | 他知道什么时候该找谁 |
| 171 | the furnace went out. | 炉子熄灭了 |
| 172 | He did the taxes at this very table every April with a pencil behind his | 他每年四月都用铅笔在桌子上交税 |
| 173 | ear. | 耳鸣. |
| 174 | I never once looked at the checkbook. | 我从来没有看过支票簿。 |
| 175 | And I didn't think I needed to. | 而且我不认为我需要。 |
| 176 | Well, Glenn died the | 格伦死了 |
| 177 | winter I was 77. | 冬天我77岁。 |
| 178 | It was his heart. | 这是他的心脏。 |
| 179 | It was quick. | 动作很快 |
| 180 | And about three weeks after the funeral, | 葬礼三周后 |
| 181 | the furnace went out. | 炉子熄灭了 |
| 182 | It was 19 degrees outside. | 这是19度外。 |
| 183 | And I stood in my kitchen in my coat. | 我穿着外套站在厨房里 |
| 184 | And I didn't | 我没有 |
| 185 | know who to call. | 知道该给谁打电话 |
| 186 | I didn't know where he kept the number. | 我不知道他把号码放哪儿了 |
| 187 | I didn't know which bank the house | 我不知道哪家银行的房子 |
| 188 | insurance was with. | 保险是和。 |
| 189 | I didn't even know the password to my own account. | 我都不知道自己账户的密码 |
| 190 | I sat down on the | 我坐下来 |
| 191 | kitchen floor and cried. | 厨房地板和哭泣。 |
| 192 | And I'll be honest with you, I was crying for Glenn. | 老实说 我为格伦哭泣 |
| 193 | And I was crying | 我当时在哭 |
| 194 | because I was an old woman who didn't know how to take care of herself. | 因为我是个不知道如何照顾自己的老女人 |
| 195 | So if you're married | 所以如果你结婚了 |
| 196 | right now, I want you to do something this week. | 现在,我要你 本周做一些事情。 |
| 197 | Sit down with your husband or your wife and learn | 和你丈夫或妻子坐下来学习 |
| 198 | where everything is. | 万物所在之处. |
| 199 | The bills, the bank, the furnace man. | 钞票 银行 炉匠 |
| 200 | Because one of you is going to | 因为你们中的一个会 |
| 201 | go first. | 先说 |
| 202 | And the one who's left deserves to know how to keep the heat on. | 而留之者,应知何以保热. |
| 203 | Love your husband or | 爱你的丈夫或 |
| 204 | your wife with everything you've got. | 你的妻子和你拥有的一切。 |
| 205 | Just don't let them be the only one who knows how your life | 只是不要让他们是唯一一个 谁知道如何你的生活 |
| 206 | works. | 工作时 |
| 207 | So those are the three. | 这就是三个。 |
| 208 | Your friends. | 你的朋友们 |
| 209 | Your children. | 孩子们 |
| 210 | Your husband or your wife. | 你的丈夫或你的妻子。 你的丈夫或你的妻子。 |
| 211 | Never depend on these three for everything. | 永不依依此三门一切. |
| 212 | Even family. | 乃至眷属. |
| 213 | Especially family because those are the | 特别是家庭,因为 |
| 214 | ones it hurts the most to lose. | 失去的伤害最大 |
| 215 | Now I can hear some of you saying, well then, who in the world | 现在我能听到你们中的一些人说, 那么,谁在世界上 |
| 216 | am I supposed to depend on? | 我应该依赖吗? |
| 217 | That's the right question. | 问对了. |
| 218 | And here's what held me up when all | 而这里的是什么 拖我起来,当所有 |
| 219 | three of mine couldn't. | 我三个都做不到 |
| 220 | There are four things. | 有四义. |
| 221 | I learned every one of them after Glenn died. | 格伦死后我学会了每一个 |
| 222 | The first thing is a quiet mind. | 第一件事是一个安静的心灵。 |
| 223 | After Glenn died, I couldn't stand the quiet in this house. | 格伦死后 我受不了这房子里的安静 |
| 224 | So I filled it. | 所以我装满了 |
| 225 | I had the TV going from the time I got up until I went to bed. | 我从起床到睡觉都把电视开着 |
| 226 | The news. | 澎湃新闻. |
| 227 | The game shows. | 游戏显示. |
| 228 | The weather channel. | 气象频道. |
| 229 | I didn't even watch it. | 我都没看 |
| 230 | I just needed a voice. | 我只是需要一个声音。 |
| 231 | And the more noise I had, the worse I felt. | 声音越响,我感觉就越糟糕。 |
| 232 | I was nervous all the time. | 我一直都很紧张 |
| 233 | I couldn't sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| 234 | So one morning I tried something. | 所以有一天早上,我尝试了一些东西。 |
| 235 | I turned everything off for one hour. | 我关掉了一小时 |
| 236 | Just one. | 只有一个 |
| 237 | I sat right here with my coffee and I let it be quiet. | 我坐在这里 与我的咖啡 我让它安静。 |
| 238 | The first few mornings, I mean, | 头几个早上,我的意思是, |
| 239 | it was awful. | 这是可怕的。 |
| 240 | All the old stuff came up. | 老东西都出来了 |
| 241 | Things I said to Glenn, I wish I hadn't. | 我对格伦说的话 真希望我没有 |
| 242 | Things I never said to my mother. | 我从未对我母亲说过的事 |
| 243 | But I kept doing it. | 但我一直这样 |
| 244 | And after a few weeks, | 几个星期后, |
| 245 | something changed. | 事情变了 |
| 246 | I started sleeping through the night. | 我开始睡了一夜 |
| 247 | The quiet stopped scaring me. | 安静不让我害怕了 |
| 248 | I could sit here and watch the birds at the feeder, the way Lottie did, and feel fine. | 我可以坐在这里,看着鸟儿在支线上, 像洛蒂一样,感觉很好。 |
| 249 | I figured out what my real problem was. | 我发现我真正的问题是什么了 |
| 250 | I'd never learned how to sit with myself. | 我从来没有学过如何和自己坐在一起。 |
| 251 | The second thing is accepting what you can't change. | 第二件事是接受你无法改变的东西。 |
| 252 | For a long time after Glenn died, I kept a list in my head. | 在格伦死后很长一段时间里,我脑海中留了一张名单. |
| 253 | How many times Renee called. | 多少次蕾妮打电话。 |
| 254 | How many times Mitch came by. | 米奇来过多少次了 |
| 255 | How long since Juanita wrote. | 胡安妮塔写了多久 |
| 256 | I was keeping score and I was | 我在记分,我是 |
| 257 | losing. | 输了 |
| 258 | Then well, I had a talk with an old friend from church, a widow like me. | 我和教会的老朋友谈过了 像我这样的寡妇 |
| 259 | Her kids | 她的孩子们 |
| 260 | came to see her once a year at Christmas. | 每年圣诞节来看她一次 |
| 261 | And she was the most peaceful woman I knew. | 她是我认识的最平静的女人 |
| 262 | So I asked her how she did it. | 所以我问她怎么做到的 |
| 263 | And she said, Faye, I quit fighting what I can't change. | 她说,Faye,我不再反抗我无法改变的东西了。 |
| 264 | My kids come once a year. | 我的孩子每年来一次。 |
| 265 | So I decided to love the once. | 所以我决定爱一次。 |
| 266 | That stuck with me. | 坚持住 |
| 267 | Her life didn't | 她的生活没有 |
| 268 | change one bit. | 改变一点。 |
| 269 | The way she lived it did. | 她的生活就是这样 |
| 270 | So I quit keeping score. | 所以我不再记分了 |
| 271 | Renee calls when she can. | 蕾妮在她有空的时候打电话 |
| 272 | Mitch comes when he can. | 米奇能来就来 |
| 273 | And when they do, I'm glad instead of hurt that it wasn't sooner. | 当他们这样做,我很高兴 而不是伤害它不是早。 |
| 274 | The third thing is somebody waiting on you. | 第三件事是有人等着你 |
| 275 | Something in your week outside your family | 在你周里你家人之外的东西 |
| 276 | that needs you to show up. | 这需要你出现。 |
| 277 | For me, it's Tuesday mornings at the elementary school down the street. | 对我来说,这是星期二早上 在街道的小学。 |
| 278 | I read to the first graders. | 我读到一年级。 |
| 279 | I've done it for three years now. | 我已经做了三年了 |
| 280 | There's a little boy named Mateo who | 有一个叫马特奥的小男孩 |
| 281 | saves me the seat next to him every single week. | 每星期都给我留一个座位 |
| 282 | And well, some Tuesdays my knees hurt so bad I | 周二我膝盖疼得要命 |
| 283 | don't want to go. | 不想去。 不想去吗? |
| 284 | But I think about Mateo sitting there next to an empty chair and I get my shoes on. | 但我想到马特奥坐在空椅子旁边 我穿着鞋子 |
| 285 | As long as somebody's waiting on me, I've got a reason to get dressed. | 只要有人在等我 我有理由换衣服 |
| 286 | It doesn't have to be a | 没必要是 |
| 287 | school. | 学校。 |
| 288 | It can be a neighbor who needs a ride, a garden, a dog, a church that needs somebody to | 可能是邻居需要搭车 需要花园 需要狗 需要别人的教堂 |
| 289 | fold the bulletins. | 折叠公告. |
| 290 | It just has to be somewhere you're expected. | 它只是必须去你期待的地方。 |
| 291 | When your whole happiness depends | 当你的幸福取决于 |
| 292 | on people calling you, you're going to be disappointed a lot. | 人们打电话给你 你会很失望的 |
| 293 | When it depends on you | 当它取决于你 |
| 294 | showing up for something, you're in charge of it. | 现身某事,由你负责. |
| 295 | The fourth thing is God. | 第四义是神. |
| 296 | I know not everybody | 我不认识大家 |
| 297 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}但如果我把这事不说出去 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我会骗你 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}因为就是这个 | |
| 298 | that held me up the most. | 这让我心烦意乱 |
| 299 | After Glenn died, I spent a long time asking God why. | 格伦死后,我花了很长时间问上帝为什么. |
| 300 | Why him? | 为什么是他? |
| 301 | Why now? | 为什么是现在? |
| 302 | Why | 为什么 |
| 303 | me by myself on a kitchen floor in the cold? | 我一个人在厨房地板上寒冷? |
| 304 | And one night, well, I just stopped asking why. | 有一天晚上 我不再问为什么 |
| 305 | I started | 我开始 |
| 306 | asking him what's next. | 问他下一个是什么。 |
| 307 | That changed everything for me. | 那改变了我的一切 |
| 308 | Friends leave. | 朋友离开。 |
| 309 | Children move. | 小孩会动 |
| 310 | Husbands die. | 诸丈夫死. |
| 311 | But I have never once been in this kitchen by myself. | 但我从未一个人进过厨房 |
| 312 | Not really. | 没有 |
| 313 | When everybody else leaves, | 当其他人离开时, |
| 314 | he stays. | 他留下来。 |
| 315 | So that's the four. | 故此四谛. |
| 316 | A quiet mind, accepting what you can't change. | 一个安静的头脑,接受你无法改变的东西。 |
| 317 | Somebody waiting | 有人在等着 |
| 318 | on you and God. | 对你和上帝。 |
| 319 | But I promised you one more. | 但我还答应过你一个 |
| 320 | Mr. Ochoa. | 奥乔亚先生 |
| 321 | Mr. Ochoa was one of my clients. | 奥乔亚先生是我的客户之一。 |
| 322 | About 15 years ago, a retired mechanic, sweet man. | 大约15年前 一个退休的技工 可爱的男人 |
| 323 | His wife had passed and his only son lived in | 他的妻子去世了,他唯一的儿子住在这里 |
| 324 | Amarillo 在路上几个小时。 | |
| 325 | Every Sunday, Mr. Ochoa put on his good shoes, | 每个星期天,奥乔亚先生都穿好鞋子 |
| 326 | polished brown leather. | 抛光棕色皮革. |
| 327 | He'd shine them on Saturday night. | 他会在周六晚上照亮他们 |
| 328 | And on Sunday, he'd sit in his chair by the | 星期天,他坐在椅子旁边 |
| 329 | window, all dressed, in his good shoes, in case his son came. | 都穿好衣服 以防他儿子来 |
| 330 | I took care of him for six years. | 我照顾他六年了 |
| 331 | And his son came, I mean, twice. | 他儿子来了两次 |
| 332 | Twice. | 两次 |
| 333 | In six years. | 于六年内. |
| 334 | And every other Sunday, Mr. Ochoa sat in | 每到另一个星期日,奥乔亚先生就坐在那里 |
| 335 | that window in his good shoes until it got dark. | 那扇窗在他的好鞋 直到天黑。 |
| 336 | Then he'd take them off real slow and set them by | 然后他慢慢地把它们脱下来,然后把他们送走 |
| 337 | the door for next week. | 下周的门。 |
| 338 | He died on a Sunday and I was the one who found him. | 他死于星期天,是我找到他的 |
| 339 | He was in his chair by | 他当时坐在椅子上 |
| 340 | the window and he had his good shoes on. | 窗户和他有他的好鞋子。 |
| 341 | I went home that day and I sat in my car in the driveway | 那天我回家,坐在车道上的车里 |
| 342 | for a long time. | 长久以来 |
| 343 | And I told myself, Faye, that will never be you. | 我告诉自己,费伊,那永远不会是你。 |
| 344 | And years later, there I was, 79 | 几年后,我在那里,79岁 |
| 345 | years old, at my kitchen table, in my good shoes, waiting for a phone that didn't ring. | 年老,在我的厨房桌子, 在我的好鞋子, 等待一个电话没有响。 |
| 346 | That's when I remembered Mr. Ochoa. | 那时我记得奥乔亚先生 |
| 347 | And I remembered Lottie at her window, feeding the birds, | 我记得洛蒂在窗边喂鸟 |
| 348 | happy as anything, waiting on nobody. | 快乐的任何东西,等待 没有人。 |
| 349 | Same kind of window. | 同样的窗口。 |
| 350 | Same kind of quiet house. | 一样安静的房子。 |
| 351 | One of them was waiting for somebody to fill him up. | 其中一个在等有人给他填满 |
| 352 | The other one had learned how to fill her own | 另一只已经学会了如何填满自己 |
| 353 | up. | 起来 |
| 354 | So well, I took my good shoes off. | 所以,我脱掉了我的好鞋。 |
| 355 | And I put them in the closet. | 我把它们放在衣柜里 |
| 356 | And I haven't worn them on a | 我还没穿过 |
| 357 | Sunday afternoon since. | 从星期天下午开始 |
| 358 | And here's the part that surprised me. | 这是让我惊讶的部分。 |
| 359 | When I stopped leaning my whole life | 当我停止倾斜我的一生 |
| 360 | on my family, every single one of those relationships got kinder. | 对我的家人来说, 每一个这样的关系 都变得更亲切。 |
| 361 | Renee calls now because | 蕾妮现在打电话是因为 |
| 362 | she wants to, instead of because she feels guilty. | 她想要,而不是因为她觉得内疚。 |
| 363 | Last month, she said, Mom, you sound happy. | 上个月她说 妈妈 你听起来很开心 |
| 364 | And I | 还有我 |
| 365 | said, Honey, I am. | 说,亲爱的,我是。 |
| 366 | Mitch stops by and I'm not hurt that he didn't come sooner. | 米奇来过,我没有受伤 他没有早一点来。 |
| 367 | I'm just glad to see | 我很高兴看到 |
| 368 | him. | 他,他是谁? |
| 369 | And he stays longer because I'm not making him feel bad for leaving. | 他呆得更久,因为我不让他为离开感到难过。 |
| 370 | When you stop needing | 当你不再需要的时候 |
| 371 | people to hold you up, you finally get to just enjoy them. | 人们要抱着你, 你终于可以享受他们。 |
| 372 | So please hear me. | 所以请听我说。 |
| 373 | Never depend on | 永远不要依赖 |
| 374 | these three for everything. | 这三件东西 |
| 375 | Your friends, your children, your husband or your wife, even family, | 你的朋友,你的孩子,你的丈夫或你的妻子,甚至家人, |
| 376 | love them with all you've got. | 爱他们所有的你。 |
| 377 | Just learn to stand on your own two feet. | 只要学会站在自己的双脚。 |
| 378 | So loving them never has to | 所以爱他们从不一定要 |
| 379 | be a burden on them. | 成为他们的负担。 |
| 380 | Now tell me in the comments, which one of the three are you leaning on the | 现在在评论中告诉我 这三个人中哪一个你靠着 |
| 381 | hardest right now? | 现在最难吗? |
| 382 | Just tell me the truth. | 告诉我真相 |
| 383 | And if you've got a Lottie or a Mr. Ochoa in your life, | 如果你有 洛蒂或奥乔亚先生在你的生活中, |
| 384 | tell me about them. | 告诉我他们。 |
| 385 | I read every one. | 我每读一次。 |
| 386 | This Sunday, I'll be in my house slippers. | 这个星期天,我会在我的家里拖鞋。 |
| 387 | And when my son calls, I'll be so glad to hear from him. | 当我儿子打来电话时 我会很高兴听到他的消息 |
| 388 | And if he doesn't, I'll be just fine. | 如果他不这样做,我会很好。 |
| 389 | Take care of yourself, honey. | 保重 亲爱的 |
| 390 | I'll see you next time. | 下次见 |
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