【真实对话】妈妈去世前给我录的视频 · 最真实的母语者英语
共 2 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 【真实对话】妈妈去世前给我录的视频 · 最真实的母语者英语 | 1:02:51 |
| P2 | 【真实对话】妈妈去世前给我录的视频 · 最真实的母语者英语 | 1:02:51 |
P1 · 【真实对话】妈妈去世前给我录的视频 · 最真实的母语者英语 p01 中英字幕 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hi everyone. | 大家好,你们好 |
| 0:00 | Today I have a very special video. | 今天我有一个非常特别的视频。 |
| 0:03 | I always say that but this one is like extra | 我总是这么说,但这个像额外 |
| 0:05 | special. | 特别 |
| 0:06 | It's extra personal. | 这是额外的个人。 |
| 0:08 | I don't know if I have ever or will ever share something | 我不知道我是否曾经 或将永远分享的东西 |
| 0:11 | this personal on this channel. | 这个个人在这个频道。 |
| 0:13 | For a while I was debating whether or not to even post it | 有一阵子,我一直在争论是否要贴出来 |
| 0:16 | but at the end of the day I think it's a cool thing that I want to share with the world and | 但到最后 我觉得这很酷 我想和全世界分享 |
| 0:22 | I think some of you might be interested or you might benefit from it because well it is related | 我想你们中有些人可能感兴趣 或者你们可能从中得益 因为这有关系 |
展开字幕全文（667 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hi everyone. | 大家好,你们好 |
| 2 | Today I have a very special video. | 今天我有一个非常特别的视频。 |
| 3 | I always say that but this one is like extra | 我总是这么说,但这个像额外 |
| 4 | special. | 特别 |
| 5 | It's extra personal. | 这是额外的个人。 |
| 6 | I don't know if I have ever or will ever share something | 我不知道我是否曾经 或将永远分享的东西 |
| 7 | this personal on this channel. | 这个个人在这个频道。 |
| 8 | For a while I was debating whether or not to even post it | 有一阵子,我一直在争论是否要贴出来 |
| 9 | but at the end of the day I think it's a cool thing that I want to share with the world and | 但到最后 我觉得这很酷 我想和全世界分享 |
| 10 | I think some of you might be interested or you might benefit from it because well it is related | 我想你们中有些人可能感兴趣 或者你们可能从中得益 因为这有关系 |
| 11 | to English, English speakers, native English speakers but also some of you guys like more | 向英语、英语、英语讲者讲母语 但也有些人喜欢更多 |
| 12 | personal stuff because it's more interesting, it's more engaging and you actually learn more | 个人的东西,因为它更有趣, 它更参与,你实际上学到更多 |
| 13 | that way. | 那边 |
| 14 | So I'm sharing the video that my mom made for me before she died. | 所以我分享了我妈妈死前为我制作的视频. |
| 15 | She made it in three | 她三分钟就到了 |
| 16 | parts. | 组件。 |
| 17 | When she died I was 14 and in this video she's talking to me and saying that I'm 13 at | 她去世时,我14岁,在这段视频里 她跟我说话,说我13岁 |
| 18 | the time. | 时间 |
| 19 | So this was about a year before she died or less than a year before she died. | 这大约是她去世前的一年 或不到去世前的一年 |
| 20 | | |
| 21 | made a video for me and my brother as well. | 我和哥哥也拍了个录像 |
| 22 | He has his own video in case she were to die because | 他有他自己的视频 以防她死了,因为 |
| 23 | she knew that she had cancer at the time and there was the possibility. | 她知道她当时得了癌症 而且有可能 |
| 24 | I mean there's always the | 我的意思是,总是有 |
| 25 | possibility that we could die tomorrow but my mom was facing something pretty serious and so | 可能我们明天会死 但我妈妈正面临非常严重的事情 |
| 26 | she thought it would be a good idea to make a video talking to me and my brother so that we | 她觉得做个视频 跟我和我哥哥聊天是个好主意 这样我们才能 |
| 27 | could have that and watch that forever and I'm really glad she did. | 我很高兴她这样做。 |
| 28 | The problem is that her friend | 问题是她的朋友 |
| 29 | helped her record it and whatever they used to record it was absolutely atrocious. | 帮她录下来 不管他们用什么方法 都太残忍了 |
| 30 | It was horrible | 这太可怕了 |
| 31 | so the audio quality is trash. | 因此,音频质量是垃圾。 |
| 32 | It's really bad. | 这真的很糟。 |
| 33 | So I don't want you to use this as a way to test | 所以我不想你用这个来测试 |
| 34 | your listening comprehension because even I don't understand what she said at certain points and | 你听得懂,因为我连她说的话 都听不懂 |
| 35 | certain points where the video it cuts and it goes really fast and nobody can understand. | 影片剪辑得很快 没人能理解 |
| 36 | So | 这么说 |
| 37 | don't use it to practice your listening. | 不要用它来练习你的听力。 |
| 38 | Just use it to practice English in general or like you know | 用它来练习一般的英语或者像你知道的一样 |
| 39 | see how native speakers really talk because I put subtitles. | 看当地人怎么说话 因为我放字幕 |
| 40 | I went through the video and wrote the | 我翻过录像,写了 |
| 41 | subtitles. | 字幕组。 |
| 42 | I edited all the subtitles so you know that they are accurate. | 我编辑了所有的字幕 让你知道它们是准确的。 |
| 43 | You can read along with | 你可以随读 |
| 44 | subtitles all right. | 字幕没问题。 |
| 45 | Don't feel like you need to be able to understand just off listening. | 不要觉得你需要 能够理解只是听。 |
| 46 | You can | 你当然可以 |
| 47 | read it and that's what native speakers do when the quality is not very good anyways but you can | 读它,这是土著语 做,如果质量不是很好 反正你可以 |
| 48 | still see and hear generally what she's saying for the most part even though it's not the best | 仍然能看到和听到她所说的话 尽管这不是最好的 |
| 49 | quality. | 质量。 |
| 50 | If you've been watching this channel for a while you might know that I have already talked | 如果你已经看这个频道一段时间, 你可能会知道我已经谈过了 |
| 51 | about my family history, some of my childhood story, my parents, my mom, my dad and you might | 关于我的家庭历史, 一些我的童年故事, 我的父母,我的妈妈,我的爸爸和你可能 |
| 52 | that I didn't have the best relationship with my mom especially in the years leading up to her death | 我和我妈的关系并不好 尤其是她死前的那几年 |
| 53 | and so when I watch this video of her talking there are moments where even today I'm rolling my eyes | 所以当我看她说话的视频时... ... ...... |
| 54 | like you know she just didn't get certain things and she did her best. | 就像你知道她只是没有得到一些东西 她做了她最好的。 |
| 55 | I'm able to recognize that | 我能认出来 |
| 56 | she did her best and she absolutely loved me even if her best wasn't up to my standards you know | 她尽了最大努力 她绝对爱我 即使她最优秀的成绩不符合我的标准 |
| 57 | because I believe that I am more conscious about certain things than my mom was and like I've said | 因为我相信 我比我妈更清楚某些事情 就像我说过的 |
| 58 | in previous videos my mom had a lot of emotional and mental issues. | 在之前的视频中 我妈妈有很多情感和精神问题 |
| 59 | She carried a lot of trauma | 她承受了很多创伤 |
| 60 | and things with her. | 还有和她在一起的事 |
| 61 | Life was not easy for my mom. | 对我妈妈来说生活并不容易 |
| 62 | She struggled every day with her emotions | 她每天用她的情绪挣扎 |
| 63 | and her situations that she put herself in and just dealing with a lot of things. | 以及她自己的处境 和处理很多事情 |
| 64 | My mom had a | 我妈妈有一个 |
| 65 | lot of anger. | 很多愤怒。 |
| 66 | I as I got older was a difficult child because I am a very intellectual type and | 我长大了 是个很困难的孩子 因为我很聪明 |
| 67 | I like to challenge her and I like to question everything that she says and does and I had an | 我喜欢挑战她 我喜欢质疑她所说的一切 我有一个 |
| 68 | answer for everything and I had a question for everything and you know and that drove my mom | 回答一切,我有一个问题 对于一切,你知道,那驱动了我妈妈 |
| 69 | crazy and that was really hard for her. | 疯了,这对她来说真的很难。 |
| 70 | My mom was very much you know because I said so and I was | 我妈妈非常清楚,因为我这么说,我... |
| 71 | like that's not a good enough reason but regardless I know that she loved me and I know that she did | 这理由还不够好 但我知道她爱我 我知道她爱我 |
| 72 | her best. | 她的最好选择 |
| 73 | You don't need to remind me of that in the comments because I'm already aware. | 你不必在评论中提醒我 因为我已经知道了 |
| 74 | I just | и琌 |
| 75 | ask that you please be respectful so you know if you're going to comment something about my mom | 请你尊重我,这样你就能知道 如果你要评论我妈妈的话 |
| 76 | please say something nice or respectful about her or nothing at all because it is my mom. | 请对她说点好话 或尊重她 或根本不是 因为那是我妈妈 |
| 77 | Let's let's have some respect even though I sometimes talk about issues that I had with | 尽管我有时会谈论我曾经遇到的问题 |
| 78 | her on this channel but you know that doesn't mean that you can criticize her for that okay. | 她在这个频道,但你知道 这并不意味着 你可以批评她,好吗。 |
| 79 | I can you can't all right you got it okay so I think this video is very interesting. | 你不可能没事的 所以我觉得这段录像很有趣 |
| 80 | It's | 这是 |
| 81 | it's very emotional just to let you know she tears up she she starts crying a few times so | 让你知道她哭起来 她开始哭过几次 |
| 82 | just be prepared for that but I think it's very interesting to see the way that my mom talks | 准备一下,但我觉得看到我妈说话的方式很有趣 |
| 83 | because she talks very much like me. | 因为她说话很像我 |
| 84 | In this video you might be able to see where I get my | 在这部影片中,你也许可以看到 我在哪里得到我的 |
| 85 | way of talking from. | 说话的方式。 |
| 86 | Now I edit my videos a lot but the way that I normally talk is with a lot | 现在,我经常编辑我的视频 但通常我说话的方式 与很多 |
| 87 | filler words a lot of pauses and hesitation like I'm thinking while I'm speaking and I will start | 填满的词 很多暂停和犹豫 就像我在思考 当我说话,我会开始 |
| 88 | a sentence and then start saying something else and start saying you know like I'm constantly | 一句话,然后开始说别的东西 开始说你知道,就像我一直 |
| 89 | speaking in these broken fragmented sentences. | 这些破碎的句子 |
| 90 | I thought that I did this very badly but then I | 我以为我这样做非常糟糕 但后来我 |
| 91 | watched the video of my mom and I'm like oh she's worse than me like this is where I get it from. | 看了我妈妈的视频,我就像 哦,她比我更糟糕 这样是我从那里得到的。 |
| 92 | Me and my mom are not the best speakers we have a lot of like good good ideas good thoughts and | 我和我妈妈不是最好的演讲者 我们有很多像好想法 好想法和 |
| 93 | you know a lot of smart things going on up here but it doesn't come out so easily and both my mom | 你知道很多聪明的事情在这里 但它不会这么容易 和我妈妈 |
| 94 | and and I were good at writing but when we have to speak in the moment and get the thoughts out | 我善于写作,但当我们不得不在此刻说话,把想法拿出来 |
| 95 | in the moment it can be it can be hard for us so you might be able to see like a similar speech | 在那一刻,它可能 对我们来说是很难的 这样你可能可以看到类似的讲话 |
| 96 | pattern comparing my mom to me so okay enough talking thanks for listening to the introduction | 把我妈妈和我比起来 说得够清楚了 感谢大家收听我的介绍 |
| 97 | and here is the video. | 这是录像 |
| 98 | I have been wanting to create this video for you and I wanted to create | 我一直想为你创作这段视频 我想为你创作 |
| 99 | one for your brother for you to have as a keepsake even though I've rehearsed this even though I | 一个给你弟弟,给你做个纪念品 尽管我已经排练过这个 尽管我 |
| 100 | practice I'd like to say to you I mean there's lots of things that I say to you every day. | 练习 我想对你说... ...我的意思是... ...有很多事情,我每天对你说。 |
| 101 | This can be emotional for me and and sometimes you know as humans we get emotional and if I | 这可能是情感 对于我,有时你知道 作为人类,我们得到情感 如果我 |
| 102 | get that way during the video it's just because this is a kind of an awkward funny thing for me | 在录影带里用那种方式... ...只是因为这对我来说是一件尴尬的有趣的事情 |
| 103 | too. | 也一样。 |
| 104 | I want you to have the opportunity to see me physically speaking to you because you know even | 我希望你有机会看到我和你说话 因为你甚至知道 |
| 105 | though I believe that we're not just physical beings we're also spiritual beings I will always | 虽然我相信我们不仅仅是物理生命... ...我们也是精神生命... |
| 106 | be spiritually in your life I believe if I even if I wasn't here on earth say something happened to | 在你的生活中,精神上,我相信,如果我 即使我不在这里 在地球上说一些事情发生了 |
| 107 | and I was not here but I just want you to know that I feel like I want you to have this opportunity | 我当时不在这里 但我只想让你知道 我觉得我想让你有这个机会 |
| 108 | to be able to look at me and see me speaking to you in this way you know I've been dealing | 看着我 看到我用这种方式跟你说话 你知道我一直在交易 |
| 109 | with breast cancer and it's been ups and downs and you know since my diagnosis and I've been | 乳腺癌,而且它一直上下 和你知道,自从我 诊断和我一直 |
| 110 | trying to keep you informed it's hard because right now you're 13 years old and when I was | 试图让你知道这很难 因为现在你13岁 当我是 |
| 111 | friends your friendship school and all of the daily you know your sports and everything is such | 朋友,你的友谊学校 和所有的日常,你知道 你的运动和一切是这样的 |
| 112 | a such an integral part of your life right now and I know from having been 13 parents are not really | 成为你生命中不可分割的一部分 我知道从13岁起 |
| 113 | the most important thing right now and probably won't be for several more years but this is my | 现在最重要的事情 可能再过几年也不会了 但这是我的 |
| 114 | gift to you this is my as your mother and I apologize if my eye looks a little funny but | 送给你的礼物 这是我作为你妈妈 我道歉 如果我的眼睛看起来有点好笑 |
| 115 | radiation and I'm trying to focus with one eye I'm not going to put my pirate patch on because | 辐射和我想集中精力 一只眼睛 我不会把我的海盗补丁。 |
| 116 | I would be a little silly and I don't want to play dress up for Halloween but basically I | 我会有点傻 我不想在万圣节打扮 但基本上我 |
| 117 | I know that there's been videos made for you know parents have made videos for children if you know | 我知道有些视频是为你制作的 你知道父母为孩子们制作的视频 |
| 118 | they think something might happen to them or they would just like to make a video just to have | 他们觉得他们可能会出事 或者他们只是想拍个视频 |
| 119 | and I've seen some of the formats of how they've been done the way I would like to to create this | 我见过一些格式 如何做 他们的方式 我想创造这个 |
| 120 | video for you is to give you a sense that I there are many things that I would like to say and there | 视频是给你一种感觉 我有很多话想说 |
| 121 | are many things that I would like to wish for you as you venture through life that I'm you know if | 有很多事我希望你 冒险过一生 |
| 122 | for some reason something happens I'm not able to say those words or do that I don't think that I | 不知何故 我无法说出那些话 也无法做我想我不该做的事 |
| 123 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}会涵盖我所想的 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}所有我不期望做到的细节 | |
| 124 | expect to be my long-term goals are to be at major events in your life major landmark events | 期待成为我的长期目标 是在你生活中的重大事件 重大里程碑事件 |
| 125 | such as joyous things that you're going to experience that you haven't even got to yet | 喜欢快乐的事情,你会 经历,你甚至还没有 |
| 126 | your graduation from high school um a prom maybe going to a prom with a boy ha ha I know that it's | 你高中毕业 舞会也许要去舞会 和一个男孩哈哈 我知道这是 |
| 127 | not something that you think about but you know those are things that I think about as mom um | 不是你想的,但你知道这些东西 我以妈妈的身分思考 |
| 128 | possibly a wedding we don't know you know I mean you never know I know you talk about different | 可能是婚礼,我们不知道 你知道,我的意思是,你永远不知道 我知道你谈论不同 |
| 129 | and you have lots of ideas but you're 13 so you might change your mind a new job going to college | 你有很多想法 但你才13岁 这样你就可以改变主意 新的工作要上大学了 |
| 130 | those are going to be major things that happen to you but they're also going to happen to me | 这些会是大事 发生在你身上,但也会发生在我身上 |
| 131 | because as your parent I'm going to experience those on an emotional level um since I gave birth | 因为作为你的父母,我会体验这些 在情感层面,嗯,因为我生了 |
| 132 | to you and I've been a part of your life and I've been raising you and and all of that um if for some | 对你,我一直是你生活的一部分 我一直在抚养你和所有嗯,如果一些 |
| 133 | reason I am not able to physically be at those events um those are my long-term goals and I have | 因为我不能参加那些活动 那些是我的长期目标 |
| 134 | every intention of being then I hope that this video can give you the opportunity to just | 我希望这段录像能给你机会,让大家 |
| 135 | hear what I wish for you without having to be right there in the moment I'm not going to go | 听到我对你的愿望 不必在我不走的时候就在那里 |
| 136 | through details and try to just be there um because you know you like changes and what I might wish | 通过细节,尝试只是 在那里,嗯,因为你知道 你喜欢改变,什么我可能希望 |
| 137 | you know may not be what I wish for you that but it but in general I would like to there are | 你知道,也许不是我想要的 但总的来说,我想有 |
| 138 | certain things that I know feel um I'm going to go back to your birth because this is where it all | 有些事情我知道 我觉得嗯... ...我要回到你的出生... ...因为这就是一切 |
| 139 | started my relationship with you started when I discovered I had life when I found out that I was | 我开始和你的关系 当我发现我有生活 当我发现我是 |
| 140 | pregnant with you and I want to even though I've talked to you and you've asked me questions on | 怀孕了,我想 即使我已经和你谈过了 你问我的问题 |
| 141 | the bed and we've chatted about stuff I really want to kind of go through that with you to lead | 床,我们聊过一些事情 我真的很想和你一起经历 |
| 142 | to the place where you know the next segment of this video will be sort of just you know going | 你知道这段视频的下一段 将会是那种你知道去的地方 |
| 143 | through the journey of your life um but I want to start back at your birth 13 years ago from | 历经你一生的旅程 但我想从你出生开始 13年前 |
| 144 | September um I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl I knew even though I was not a married person um | 九月,我生了一个美丽的女婴,我认识,虽然我不是已婚的人 |
| 145 | I knew I always you just know growing up you just know whether it be I don't know if I was | 我知道,我总是你只是知道 长大了,你只是知道 是不是,我不知道,如果我是 |
| 146 | middle school high school I don't know if it was when I was a child I just knew I would always have | 中学,我不知道,如果它是 当我还是个孩子,我知道我会永远 |
| 147 | children I always wanted children I chose a profession around children to be a teacher | 儿童 我一直想要孩子 我选择一个职业 围绕孩子做老师 |
| 148 | and I have that passion to to educate and be and help children in that capacity and so that was | 我热衷于教育、成为和帮助儿童 |
| 149 | always with me and I always knew that that's what I wanted to do and I went through so much as a | 总是和我在一起,我一直知道,这就是我想做的, 我经历了这么多作为一个 |
| 150 | child myself I felt like I really just wanted to it was my mission and goal to make sure that | 孩子,我觉得我只是想... ...我的使命和目标就是确保... |
| 151 | children had in all fairness the benefit of experiencing happiness and quality in their | 公平地说,儿童享有享受幸福和幸福的好处。 |
| 152 | childhood as best as can now when I found out that I had life inside me I was overjoyed I mean I was | 童年的最好,现在,当我发现我有 生活在我的内心,我过度快乐,我的意思是,我是 |
| 153 | just thrilled I mean it may have been a surprise at first but I talked to you when you were in the | 只是很激动 我的意思是它可能是一个惊喜 一开始,但我和你说话 当你在 |
| 154 | womb I I even bought books because I knew my you know my education that you know this was going to | 子宫 我甚至买了书 因为我知道我 你知道我的教育 |
| 155 | everything that I possibly could to make sure that you had a good start to life and I think that | 所有我可能能够确保 你有一个良好的开始 生活,我认为 |
| 156 | you know and that was just such a it was a time of like anticipation and I I did have some nervous | 你知道,那只是 这样一个时间 像期待,我确实有些紧张 |
| 157 | feelings naturally I was going to be a mom but I just always had this confidence that I was | 我本来想做个妈妈 但我一直有信心 |
| 158 | destined to be a mother and you were somehow I had this instinct motherly instinct or whatever | 注定要成为母亲 你不知怎的 我有这种本能 母亲的本能 |
| 159 | I don't want to call it that you were first of all I knew you were a girl before I had the scans | 我不想说你在做扫描之前 就已经是女孩了 |
| 160 | I don't know how but I did and I was correct in in in thinking that but I I also had this feeling | 我不知道如何,但我做到了,我正确的想法, 但我也有这种感觉 |
| 161 | that you were a strong individual don't ask me how I just had this feeling that you were going to be | 你是一个强壮的人 不要问我 是什么感觉,你会是 |
| 162 | a strong willed a strong girl um maybe because of myself maybe because I I knew that I had some of | 一个坚强的意志 一个坚强的女孩... 也许是因为我自己... 也许是因为我知道我有一些... |
| 163 | those qualities but I I just had a feeling that you were going to be and we were going to be okay | 这些品质,但我只是觉得 你会是,我们会没事的 |
| 164 | and um you know your dad when he learned about the pregnancy and things because I | 嗯,你知道你爸爸 当他得知怀孕和事情 因为我 |
| 165 | mentally don't think that I mean I'm not going to speak for him I don't think he was quite ready at | 精神上不要认为我是说 我不会为他说话 我觉得他没有准备好 |
| 166 | first but I but I was 100 ready and willing so um I didn't have all the answers I didn't have all | 首先,我只有100个准备,我愿意 所以,嗯,我没有所有的答案,我没有所有的答案 |
| 167 | the results of how you know my living arrangements how things would pan out financially what's going | 你了解我生活安排的结果 如何在财务上解决问题 |
| 168 | on but I did have a job I had a teaching job and I was I was just you know and my doctor wished me | 但我有一份工作 我有一份教书的工作 我只是你知道 我的医生希望我 |
| 169 | all the luck and had confidence in me and so I just went on my way um with all of that as you | 所有的运气,对我有信心 所以我就继续走... ... |
| 170 | developed inside me and then you know your birth you know I knew I had a healthy pregnancy it was | 在我体内发育,然后你知道你的出生 你知道我有一个健康的怀孕 |
| 171 | it was a great pregnancy and I felt good um and then it came to be that you were ready to be born | 这是一个伟大的怀孕,我感觉很好 嗯,然后它开始 你准备好出生 |
| 172 | and you weren't gonna wait you you know it was it was my first pregnancy so it was a long you | 你不会等的,你知道这是我第一次怀孕,所以你很长 |
| 173 | know 24 hours I I had started my labor and then I you know they they did have to break my water and | 24小时前我开始工作,然后你知道 他们必须打破我的水 |
| 174 | I went in and so it was a long process but it was well worth that I had a my college roommate Mary | 我进去了,所以这是一个漫长的过程 但我有一个大学室友玛丽是值得的 |
| 175 | with me and you know your dad popped in and then of course granny came in and um she wasn't invited | 我和你知道你爸爸进来了 然后奶奶当然进来了 她没被邀请 |
| 176 | she came anyway um I I just had a good feeling about the whole thing and I just knew that we | 她来了,嗯,我只是有一个很好的预感 整个事情,我只是知道我们 |
| 177 | know things were going to be great um you were born in the dark under a spotlight because I was | 你知道事情会是伟大的... 你出生在黑暗中 在聚光灯下 因为我是 |
| 178 | just so exhausted from a whole day of just you know I thought you were ready to come they said | 一天到晚都累得要死 我还以为你准备来了 |
| 179 | you were but it just took a while so we're both stubborn and so when you came finally under that | 你曾经是,但只是花了一阵子,所以我们两个都很固执 所以当你终于下 |
| 180 | spotlight uh Dr. Ziegler handed you to me and I just watching you I just knew all this is you know | 聚光灯... 齐格勒博士把你交给我 我只是看着你... |
| 181 | I could feel your strength I could feel your um just how how strong and vibrant and healthy you | 我能感觉到你的力量 我能感觉到你的... 你有多强壮、充满活力和健康 |
| 182 | were as a baby and I knew you know I didn't have any worries there was no you weren't weak there | 小时候,我知道你知道我没有担心 没有你没有软弱 |
| 183 | was nothing wrong all you you checked up great and um so all of that was great um but from that time | 你所做的一切都很好 所以一切都很好 但从那时起 |
| 184 | from that moment and you know and I brought you home and of course it wasn't easy you had some | 从那一刻起,你知道,我带你回家, 当然不容易,你有一些 |
| 185 | issues and you were cocky and I had to kind of like troubleshoot with the um the formulas and | 问题和你是自大 我不得不有点喜欢 解决与嗯的公式和 |
| 186 | I know you get upset with me and wonder why I didn't nurse you and things like that and | 我知道你生我的气 想知道我为什么没照顾你之类的东西 |
| 187 | if I could have gone back there were some changes I would have made we are not perfect I | 如果我可以回去 有一些改变 我本可以让我们不完美 |
| 188 | I made that decision based on my work and being a single mom it wasn't something that I would have | 我做这个决定是基于我的工作 和作为一个单身母亲... ... |
| 189 | made a couple years later but life happens that way I was a formula-fed baby I felt that would be | 过了几年,但生活发生 那样我是一个配方奶的婴儿,我觉得这将是 |
| 190 | okay um so I I did um move forward and when you got past your collic and all that I watched you | 好吧,嗯,所以我做了,嗯前进 当你通过你的collic 和所有我看着你 |
| 191 | develop into a little girl and from the time you were a baby I just all I could do is just stare at | 成长成一个小女孩 从你还是个孩子时起 我只能盯着她看 |
| 192 | you of course you were my first child and I think that had to do with it but I just found myself in | 当然,你是我的第一个孩子 我认为这与它有关 但我刚刚发现自己在 |
| 193 | awe um I had taken developmental psych classes I had studied babies I loved babies I I worked | 我上过发育心理课 学习我爱的婴儿 我工作过 |
| 194 | with children I was a teacher but it your development in learning and growing it just | 我曾经是老师,但是你学习和成长的发展 |
| 195 | just amazed me and that was I mean that whoever experienced that as a mom someday even if you | 只是让我惊讶,这就是说,无论谁 经历这一点作为一个母亲 有一天,即使你 |
| 196 | don't you know you choose a different path and you don't have children that is fine um but hopefully | 你不知道你选择了另一条路 而你没有孩子 那很好,但希望 |
| 197 | you feel some of that joy that that just it just that I felt and probably not all parents feel it | 你感觉到一些欢乐, 只是它只是我觉得,也许不是所有的父母都觉得 |
| 198 | but I did and I do think there are a lot that do and it's just your heart is bursting with how proud | 但我做到了,我确实认为 有很多事情要做, 它只是你的心脏 爆发了多么骄傲 |
| 199 | you are and I watched you just all I could say is that it was like you were a sponge you you looked | 我只能说 你就像一只海绵 |
| 200 | at me with eyes that were knowing all knowing you were aware of your surroundings I knew that this | 对我的眼睛,他们知道 所有人都知道你的周围 我知道这一点 |
| 201 | is a this is a bright child who is just taking in her world left and right and she's not going to | 这是一个聪明的孩子, 她只是把世界 左右,她不会 |
| 202 | I think the important thing is to keep doing them and we do that most of our lives but I just want | 我认为重要的是要继续做 我们做我们的大部分生活 但我只是想 |
| 203 | I want you to know that I just found myself in awe of you and um you know I of course did my my | 我想你知道,我刚刚发现自己 在敬畏你,嗯你知道 我当然做了我的 |
| 204 | nightly books with you and I would read to you and you know you had your little uh good night moon | 和你一起读夜书,我会读给你听,你知道你有你的夜月 |
| 205 | book that I used to read to you and of course brown bear rounder and all those beginner books | 以前我读给你听的书 当然还有棕熊圆圈 以及所有初学者的书 |
| 206 | but I had good night moon which the verse changed and it was a book that wasn't really repetitive so | 但我有美好的夜晚月亮 诗句改变了, 它是一本书 不是真的重复,所以 |
| 207 | it did but it didn't and you just it was unbelievable how quickly you were able to | 是的,但是它没有,你只是令人难以置信 你能够如此之快 |
| 208 | just learn the words and the language developed from you um and the methods in which you you | 只要学习语言和语言 从你,嗯,你的方法 |
| 209 | picked up the book on your own and I knew I had worked with you and I knew that I had kept that | 你独自拿起那本书 我知道我曾与你合作 我知道我一直留着它 |
| 210 | that um going with you and I felt felt very good about that but it was just it was all experimental | 跟你一起走,我感觉很好 但这只是实验 |
| 211 | it was just so cool because I was experimenting as a mom I had watched children's minds develop | 这太酷了 因为我在做一个妈妈的实验 我看着孩子们的思想发展 |
| 212 | in classrooms but I never ever experienced how early it can start how quickly it can happen | 在教室里,我从来没有经历过 有多早可以开始 有多快可以发生 |
| 213 | if given the opportunity and the time to do it and you just amazed me how quickly you picked up | 如果有机会和时间去做 你只是让我惊讶 你接得这么快 |
| 214 | the language and how you just took to books and I was just so pleased with it um and when you | 语言和如何你刚拿 书籍,我只是 很高兴它,嗯,当你 |
| 215 | and you were so articulate at a very young age um so all of that just intrigued me and I found | 那时你还很年轻 所以这一切让我很感兴趣 我发现 |
| 216 | myself just staring at you with your bottle between your lips at night rocking you and then | 夜里我用瓶子盯着你 摇晃你 然后 |
| 217 | laying you down and then I'd leave the room and then you know a commercial would come on television | 把你放下,然后我离开房间 然后你知道一个广告会出现在电视上 |
| 218 | I'd go in and I would just stare at you and watch you sleep I mean I'm sure there are lots of moms | 我会进去看着你睡觉 我肯定有很多妈妈 |
| 219 | who do that but I but I just really want you to know that that's where I was at that's where I | 但我只想让你知道 我当时在那里 |
| 220 | felt I was just so content in being such an important part of your life at that moment | 感觉我太满足于成为你生命中如此重要的一部分 |
| 221 | and you were very loved you very loved you had an aunt who who just adored you you know she wasn't | 你非常爱你 你有一个姨妈 谁只是喜欢你 你知道她不是 |
| 222 | she didn't have her children yet she wasn't in that motive but she just you know had gifts for | 她没有孩子,但她没有这个动机 但她只是你知道有礼物 |
| 223 | you all the time she just you could tell the way she spoke and the way she came over it was just | 你所有的时间,她只是你可以 告诉如何她说话和 她过来它只是 |
| 224 | was just so proud of you and and happy and to see you and and listen to me about stories about you | 为你感到骄傲 很高兴见到你 听我讲你的故事 |
| 225 | things that you were doing and developing and growing and she learned I think a lot | 你所做的事, 发展和成长, 她学到了我的想法很多 |
| 226 | from me before and then that helped her later I think she had her own children um but like a lot | 从我之前和后来 这帮助了她 后来我认为她有自己的孩子 嗯,但喜欢很多 |
| 227 | of pride in that you know and you you know your dad is a different person and we didn't end up | 骄傲的是你知道,你知道 你的父亲是一个不同的人,我们没有最终 |
| 228 | together and and that was a good thing but that was we just you know things have me involved that | 在一起,这是一件好事 但我们只是你知道事情让我卷入了 |
| 229 | but I don't think you know his love for you came and it was a whole different you know I mean it | 但我不认为你知道 他爱你来了, 这是完全不同的,你知道我的意思 |
| 230 | it was there and it was unconditional and he felt it too in his way and I could see that he did | 在那里,这是无条件的,他觉得太 在他的方式,我可以看到他做到了 |
| 231 | but I you know for me it was just this whole other world of just like just immersed in everything | 但我知道,对我来说,它只是 整个其他的世界 就像只是浸透在一切 |
| 232 | you did everything growing developing every um now later on as you know you you turned into a girl | 你做了每件事物 成长,现在嗯... ...现在你知道 你变成一个女孩 |
| 233 | and you became school age and I made you know we made decisions about where you go to preschool | 你进入了学龄期,我让你知道 我们决定了你在哪里上幼儿园 |
| 234 | we decided all of those things um and you were a sweet girl and you and you were very | 我们决定了所有这些事... ...嗯... ...你是一个可爱的女孩... |
| 235 | a good girl and you you listened and you know I I was blessed I really didn't have a lot of it | 一个好女孩,你听了 你知道我是幸运的 我真的没有太多 |
| 236 | didn't have to make a lot of effort with you you just were very very good and fairly easy um but I | 不需要你付出很多努力 你只是非常的好,相当容易,嗯,但我 |
| 237 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你得说你知道 嗯 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}而且你很灵活 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}人们就像... | |
| 238 | do that and they were amazed by you the very first babysitter was amazed by the things you could do | 这样做,他们惊讶于你 第一个保姆 惊讶于你能做的事 |
| 239 | um and you know and this isn't just mom speaking this is really how I've observed you over the | 嗯,你知道,这不只是妈妈说话 这真的是我如何观察你过 |
| 240 | years as you've grown now as you've developed and grown I noticed that characteristics of you and | 你成长的岁月... ...你成长的岁月... |
| 241 | things that have come out um are human traits you know I started to start to see other aspects of | 发现的东西是人类的特质 我开始看到其他方面 |
| 242 | you as as a young girl and and how you are taking the world in and how you responded to things and | 你作为一个年轻女孩, 和你是如何把世界 和如何应对事物, |
| 243 | I could see that you had a little perfectionism in you where you wanted things to be just right | 我看得出来,你有一个小完美主义 在你想要的事情是正确的 |
| 244 | you felt that was your comfort zone you wanted things to be right and you admit that today that | 你觉得那是你的舒适地带 你希望事情是对的 你承认今天 |
| 245 | that's that's how things are for you and I I see that you still have that um quality about you and | 事情就是这样的,我看你 仍然有那么嗯质量 你和 |
| 246 | we talked about how that can be a good thing and that can be a bad thing but mostly it's been a | 我们谈论了如何能成为一件好事 也可能是件坏事 但大多是一件 |
| 247 | good thing for you to assert you well in your endeavors and it's made you a successful uh girl | 幸好你在努力中表现良好 让你成为一个成功的女孩 |
| 248 | and it's it's made you noticed by your teachers and recognized and I think that it's been it's | 这是让你注意到 你的老师 并承认 我认为这是 |
| 249 | been a good thing for you um sometimes you were hard on yourself you know gotta learn how to do | 对你有好处 有时你对自己很苛刻 你知道要学会怎么做 |
| 250 | that cartwheel gotta learn how to do that that hula hoop gotta learn how to do that and you were | 车轮必须学会怎么做, 胡拉豪普必须学会怎么做, 而你是 |
| 251 | so cute trying to learn it and of course you know being your mom and I had it I had to share you | 这么可爱的尝试 学习它,当然你知道 作为你的妈妈 我得到了它,我不得不分享你 |
| 252 | for a couple years with with Nicole who loves you so much and I am so thankful for that family that | 和妮可在一起的几年 妮可非常爱你 我非常感激那家人 |
| 253 | just I felt very pleased with myself that I was able to step outside the box and I think maybe | 我只是觉得很高兴 我能够走出盒子 我觉得也许 |
| 254 | the teacher in me allowed that to happen I knew how important it was for you to have those | 老师允许发生这种事 我知道拥有这些对你有多重要 |
| 255 | relationships and I when I knew that they were healthy and good I stepped back and I allowed you | 当我知道他们很健康,很好的时候 我退了一步,我允许你 |
| 256 | to have them if I didn't think they were that may have been a whole different story um probably not | 如果我不认为他们是 可能是一个完全不同的故事,也许不是 |
| 257 | one that I would have would have liked to have remembered or tell told I'm so glad it worked out | 我本想记住的 或告诉大家我很高兴 |
| 258 | we got very lucky um I don't think your dad knew who you know knew at the time how good that that | 我们很幸运,嗯,我不认为 你爸爸知道谁 你知道在当时, |
| 259 | family was to you and and how it would pan out in the end but I think that he probably realizes it | 家人是属于你的, 和如何它会 最终会出来,但我想,他可能意识到 |
| 260 | now it's just very it was a very good connection very good thing um I kept like a teacher I kept | 现在它只是非常 它是一个非常好的连接 非常好的事情... 我保持像一个老师,我保持 |
| 261 | that communication going openly with her we talked she's younger than me but we we talked and it it | 跟她公开的交流 我们谈她比我年轻 但我们谈了 |
| 262 | mattered it was women woman to woman I wanted so much for you that it really didn't matter to me | 关键是女人对女人... ...我非常想要你... |
| 263 | how I got it if it meant communicating with somebody who loved you like a mother and cared | 我怎么得到它,如果它意味着 沟通的人 谁爱你 像母亲和关心 |
| 264 | that much to spend an hour and a half on the telephone I was willing to do it you know it | 在电话上花一个半小时的时间 我愿意做,你知道的 |
| 265 | meant that much to me so over the years I watched you grow and of course you know when Darren and | 对我来说意味着很多 所以我看着你成长 当然你知道当达伦和 |
| 266 | I got married and you were such a cute little flower girl at my wedding and walked me down the | 我结婚了,你是一个可爱的小花姑娘 在我婚礼上,走我下来 |
| 267 | aisle and I was so proud to have you next to me I mean that's really ultimately what I wanted | 过道和我很自豪 有你旁边我,我的意思是,这是 最终我想 |
| 268 | you know I mean that relationship with with you know and that that's something that you know I mean | 你知道,我的意思是 与你的关系 你知道,这是的东西,你知道我的意思 |
| 269 | I just wanted to nurture and grow and Darren was natural with you and had nieces and nephews and he | 我只是想抚育和成长 达伦很自然地和你在一起 还有侄女和侄子和他 |
| 270 | just thought you were adorable and just really just took you very naturally and and for me that | 只是觉得你很可爱,只是真的 把你非常自然,对我来说 |
| 271 | felt very good because there was no stiffness about it there was no it was just it just all | 感觉很好,因为没有僵硬 没有它只是所有 |
| 272 | just flowed and that was also important to me as a mom so you know over the years I've you know I | 这对我母亲来说也很重要 所以你知道这些年来 |
| 273 | just really wanted I just always had this confidence that you were so strong that you could just you | 我真的很想我一直有这种信心 你是如此的坚强,你可以只有你 |
| 274 | could handle things as they happened and and you could you know a lot of times you know you were | 能够处理事情 当它们发生, 你可以知道 很多次你知道你 |
| 275 | part of like the adults around you because you know even before you had your little brother | 就像你身边的大人一样 因为你在有你弟弟之前就知道了 |
| 276 | on the scene you know you you kind of were you just had this I always knew you had this little | 在现场你知道你有点 你刚刚有这个 我一直知道你有这个小 |
| 277 | like older intuition about you like a like an old soul like you just you had these these thoughts | 像你这样老的直觉 就像一个像你这样的老灵魂 |
| 278 | and these you know right now at your age now I'm watching those kind of like transition like I'm | 而这些你现在知道 在你的年龄,现在 我看着这种 像过渡像我 |
| 279 | starting to see more for the actual age that you are because that 13 year old age is tricky it's | 开始看到更多的你的实际年龄, 因为13岁是困难的 |
| 280 | just a very complex complicated age it's a transitioning time and but but like I said you | 只是一个非常复杂的时代 这是一个过渡的时间,但就像我说过的 |
| 281 | know as you developed and things I just was so proud of you I I want you to know okay that with | 你知道随着你的发展 和事物 我只是以你为荣 我希望你知道 |
| 282 | all my love and with all my dedication with all of my I mean all these things just were naturally | 我所有的爱,我所有的奉献... ...我所有的... |
| 283 | poured from my heart and instinctively I I was your mom and I wasn't going anywhere | 我本能地倾注了我的心 我是你妈妈 我哪儿也不去 |
| 284 | unfortunately you know we still as humans we bring things to table that we don't always intend to | 很不幸,你知道我们作为人类, 我们带来了一些东西 我们并不总是打算 |
| 285 | and there were moments as your mom and I'd like to address those moments um without going into | 你妈妈和我想谈谈那些事 而不谈恋爱 |
| 286 | detail because I don't think it's necessary or relevant at this point but I I do I do want you | 细节,因为我不认为它的必要性 或与此有关 现在,但我确实想要你 |
| 287 | know that my my innate kind of my my I don't even want to I don't want to say primitive but | 知道我的天生 那种我的 我甚至不想说 原始但 |
| 288 | my kind of my behaviors from as a result of things I grew up with and things I was I was | 我那种行为 是因为我长大 和事物,我是 |
| 289 | exposed to as a child and sort of the real anger and I've talked to you about this before the real | 童年时就被曝光了 有点生气 我之前就跟你谈过了 |
| 290 | struggles that I went through at your age now was the worst of it but I went through all the period | 我在你这个年纪经历的挣扎 是其中最糟糕的 但我经历了所有的时间 |
| 291 | of just resentment and anger and even as a young child anxiousness that was fair you know it was | 怨恨和愤怒 即使是年幼的小孩 焦虑也是公平的 |
| 292 | unfair for a child my age to to have gone through what I had to go through um because I unfortunately | 对一个我这个年纪的孩子来说 经历了我不得不经历的... 因为我很不幸 |
| 293 | grew up in an alcoholic home and the dynamics of growing up in an alcoholic home are just I mean | 在一个酒鬼家里长大 在一个酒鬼家里长大的动态 |
| 294 | there's lots of books on the bookshelves about that and I don't need to go into all of that but | 书架上有很多关于这个的书 我不用再谈了 |
| 295 | I want you to know that there are roles that we play in those families I mean no family is perfect | 我想让你知道 我们家族中有些角色... ...我的意思是没有家庭是完美的 |
| 296 | and we all have dysfunctional stuff that goes on but as your mom there were moments when you saw me | 我们都有一些功能失调的东西 继续,但作为你妈妈,有的时候你看到我 |
| 297 | in a place where I should not have been in front of you I should not have exposed you or lashed out | 在一个我不该站在你面前的地方... ...我不该暴露你,也不应该把你甩掉 |
| 298 | or put myself into this all I can describe as childlike behavior because really that's what | 我只能形容自己是幼稚的行为 因为真的 |
| 299 | does just goes right back to my childhood and its behavior that's like primitive it comes from me | 回到我的童年 和它的行为,就像原始 它来自我 |
| 300 | without control and even though I was there as your mom an adult I still have these you opposed | 即使我作为你妈妈在那里 我仍然有这些你反对的 |
| 301 | to it you may have seen it I may have lashed out and but then I retreated in absolute guilt um because | 你可能已经看到它,我可能已经撕裂了, 但我退却了 绝对的内疚,嗯,因为 |
| 302 | I knew I know it was wrong I knew it was wrong um if we could go back and like say our life was | 我知道这是错的 我知道这是错的 如果我们能回去 就像说我们的人生 |
| 303 | a cookie dough and we could just go back just pluck out the bad chops you know all the raisins | 一块饼干的钱,我们就可以回去了 只要拔出坏的切片,你知道所有的葡萄干。 |
| 304 | or whatever I don't like raisins in my cookies but if I could just take them out one by one and do so | 或者我不喜欢饼干里的葡萄干... ...但如果我能把葡萄干一个接一个地拿出来 |
| 305 | I would go back and do that it's not possible and unfortunately you know these things happen | 我会回去做那是不可能的 可惜你知道这些事情会发生 |
| 306 | and and it does affect us and um and I'm a fool I know how it affects because growing up in the home | 它确实影响我们,嗯,我是一个傻瓜 我知道它如何影响 因为成长在家中 |
| 307 | and the behaviors I witnessed um it exposed to I had to then reflect back on those box later on | 我亲眼目睹的... ...我不得不反省那些盒子 |
| 308 | and really look back my father on my mother and think in terms of all right you know they did the | 并真正地回顾我父亲对我的母亲 并思考所有的权利 你知道他们做了 |
| 309 | best could did I do that at 13 no I didn't have the ability because I'm still in remote um later | 13岁的时候我最好这么做 因为我现在还很偏僻 |
| 310 | on I did and it doesn't mean that I look for counseling I still try to figure why maybe I'm | 这并不意味着我在找咨询... ...我仍然在试着想,为什么我可能 |
| 311 | attached to certain things in my life or why any certain things didn't fall into place I think | 我生命中的某些东西 或者为什么某些东西没有出现 我想 |
| 312 | because I spent much of my 20s just you know I had you there but I felt like life was just | 因为我花了我20多岁 只不过你知道我有你 但我觉得生活只是 |
| 313 | unfolding before me I really didn't have a sense of control but you having you in my life was like | 在我之前,我真的没有控制感 但你有你在我的生活就像 |
| 314 | the grounding you were the anchor in my life not in an unhealthy other way dependent on it was a | 让你成为我生命的锚 不是以不健康的方式依赖它 |
| 315 | way that it just it grounded me and me realized this is what our goal is this is what you're | 我意识到这就是我们的目标 这就是你 |
| 316 | aimed to do this is your focus right now so what's your focus unfortunately there are times when I | 所以不幸的是,有时我... |
| 317 | know you see me at a temper tant or gang rape in a very first thing that we're not | 你知道,你看到我在 脾气暴躁或轮奸 在第一,我们不是 |
| 318 | go back and take them up someday I can just um know that your heart | 改天回去带他们去... ...我可以知道你的心 |
| 319 | somehow understand it's hard when we're close to agents I'm close we want able to be our parents | 不知何故理解,当我们接近特工时,我和他们很亲近,我们想成为父母 |
| 320 | want to be able to say that you understand it and even as about times you have trouble struggles | 想要能够说,你理解它, 即使有时候你有困难的斗争 |
| 321 | in because sometimes we feel cheated and that's the whole other thing that you know I talked to | 因为我们有时觉得被骗了 而这是另一回事 你知道我谈过 |
| 322 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我显然可以多说说 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你知道作为一个女孩 | |
| 323 | adult I was really appreciated of my relationship with that and I think it's important to have a | 大人,我真的很欣赏我和那段关系 我认为有一个 |
| 324 | relationship with their fathers a healthy relationship so I'm very grateful that I had | 和父亲的关系很健康 所以我很感激 |
| 325 | I always talk about my grandpa my mom's dad because he was he was the only male role model in my life | 我总是说外公 我妈妈的爸爸 因为他是我一生中唯一的男性榜样 |
| 326 | that brought good things to the table and he was a stubborn guy but he was he had a deep faith in | 他把好东西带到了桌子上 他是个顽固的人 但他很有信心 |
| 327 | God he had values and morals and beyond I mean he it just you know I mean he raised I have a lot | 上帝,他有价值和道德 除了他,我的意思是 它只是你知道,我的意思是,他养育了我很多 |
| 328 | of admiration for him and I always talk about his life because he went through struggles and | 我总是谈论他的生活 因为他经历了挣扎 |
| 329 | I just said no you just develop a respect for that he worked hard he was a hard worker so there was | 我只是说不,你只是培养一种尊重 他努力工作,他是一个艰苦的工作 所以有 |
| 330 | no there was nothing about him that would ever make me think that he didn't try hard enough or | 没有,他没有任何东西 会让我觉得他没有尽力,或者 |
| 331 | whatever I think that he used all of the skills he had available to him and he used them to his | 无论我怎么想,他用 他拥有的所有技能, 他用他们到他的 |
| 332 | ultimate optimal best and I and I have nothing but good to say though and even though I felt | 最终最好,我和我没什么好说的 尽管我觉得 |
| 333 | I was in college I went back and on my tongue when I felt ready I arranged it with him | 我在大学的时候,我回去了,当我觉得准备好的时候,我用舌头和他安排的 |
| 334 | and I sat with him and I let him know that he's no longer alive and I can no longer speak to him | 我和他坐在一起 告诉他他已经不在了 我不能再跟他说话了 |
| 335 | but there's no need to I have nothing that was it for me that that was finished that was business | 但没有必要我没有任何东西 对我来说,结束了,这是生意 |
| 336 | that you know um I more feel feel sad for him I feel bad that he was also cheated out of a | 你知道... 我更为他难过... ...我为他感到难过... |
| 337 | later on and he missed out of course on grandchildren all that you know but you | 后来,他错过了孙子们 除了你 |
| 338 | your grandmother's around she's she's never left and I you know my relationship with my mom I've | 你奶奶在她身边 她从不离开 你知道我和我妈的关系 |
| 339 | always told you it's you know I love my mother dearly my mother's always been there for me | 一直告诉你,你知道我爱我的母亲 我母亲一直陪着我 |
| 340 | she's a rock but she's uh you know her and I have had a lot of history of ups and downs and | 她是一个岩石,但她,呃... 你知道她,我有很多历史 升降和 |
| 341 | you know all of that and and I think a lot of why my mom you know being in that relationship | 你知道这一切,我想了很多为什么 我妈妈你知道在那种关系 |
| 342 | as long as she did it doesn't make me hate her in any way I love my mother I mean my mother again | 只要她这样做,不会让我恨她 以任何方式,我爱我的母亲,我的意思是,我的母亲再次 |
| 343 | did what she did based on what she had available to her uh do I wish she made some different | 做她所做的,根据 她有她 呃... 我希望她 做一些不同的 |
| 344 | choices yes do I feel cheated by her yes yes I do you know but I want you to know that even | 我是不是觉得被她欺骗了 是的,是的,你知道 但我想让你知道,即使 |
| 345 | though I'm not perfect and I've I've been you know I've had my flaws as a mom I I want you to know | 虽然我并不完美,我一直都是... ...你知道我作为一个母亲的缺点... ...我想你知道 |
| 346 | that my intentions and my intelligence and my understanding of the world I feel is steps maybe | 我的意图,我的智慧,我对世界的理解... ...我觉得可能是步子 |
| 347 | even more above what my parents had so I know I know that I was even if I may not have always | 比我父母拥有的还要多 所以我知道 即使我并非一直 |
| 348 | I was very capable and very able and and and mentally I was more on the scene I think with | 我非常有能力,非常有能力 和精神上,我更 在现场我想 |
| 349 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}妈妈对孩子的爱 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你总有一天会明白 | |
| 350 | you watch this video or if you even if you just just know that about me that I am I've always had | 你看着这段录像,或者,即使你只是知道 关于我,我一直拥有 |
| 351 | the most unconditional relationship and love for you and always will and I have so much respect | 最无条件的关系和对你的爱, 永远会,我有这么多的尊重 |
| 352 | for you and I'm very very proud of you and I so look forward to being a part of so many more | 为了你 我为你感到非常骄傲 我期待着成为更多 |
| 353 | events in life that are going to be so important to you and me um but like I said you know I mean | 生活中的事件 将会对你和我如此重要 嗯,但就像我说的你知道我的意思 |
| 354 | I'm not going anywhere but the nature of this illness you know I try to keep you posted on my | 我不会去任何地方,但这个疾病的性质 你知道我试图保持你 张贴在我的 |
| 355 | doctor's appointments I try to keep you updated I just don't have all the answers and there may | 医生的预约,我试图保持你更新... ...我只是没有所有的答案,也许 |
| 356 | when I have to face a certain a situation where you know I have to make a decision that is the | 当我必须面对某种情况时 你知道我必须做出一个决定 |
| 357 | next phase of my life which is you know and I don't know when or if or what or what we don't know | 我生命的下一个阶段 就是你知道 我不知道何时、是否、什么 我们不知道 |
| 358 | I mean none of us know but for right now it's important for me to to let you know that no | 我的意思是,我们没有人知道 但是现在,我 重要的是让你知道,没有 |
| 359 | matter where you are you know what happens to you and what you know when you graduate when you | 无论你在哪里,你知道你发生了什么 当你毕业时你知道什么 |
| 360 | make all these big transitions in your life I have so much confidence in you you can't even | 让你生活中的这些大转变 我对你充满信心 你甚至不能 |
| 361 | imagine I mean I just know that everything that you do is going to be successful and even if it's | 想象我的意思是,我只是知道 你所做的一切都会成功 即使它是 |
| 362 | not you will work it out because you've been working things out since you were that little | 不是因为你从小就一直在工作 |
| 363 | baby in the corner picking up a book and reading the words or remembering the words and then just | 小宝贝在角落捡起一本书 读着这些话 或记住这些话 然后 |
| 364 | developing you in your language and just everything just everything that you've done | 用你的语言来培养你 以及你所做的一切 |
| 365 | I've watched you do and I see how you are about it and I just know that I've had confidence in you | 我看着你这样做,我看到你是如何 关于它,我只是知道,我已经对你有信心 |
| 366 | since you were in me in my womb and I just want you to know that I have I've always had that feeling | 既然你在我的子宫里 我只想告诉你 我一直有那种感觉 |
| 367 | I've learned something over the past couple of years my journey with cancer and my journey | 在过去几年里,我学到了一些东西 癌症的旅程和旅程 |
| 368 | in trying to really get in touch with my spiritual inner my soul is that this what you feel here | 试图真正接触我的精神内心... ...我的灵魂... ...这就是你在这里的感觉 |
| 369 | is far more important than what's up here I mean sometimes our heads can mess with what we really | 这比上面的东西重要得多 我是说有时候我们的头会乱来 |
| 370 | feel here and I I've discovered that and I've seen that I I'm seeing it a lot uh and uh you know | 感觉在这里,我发现, 我看见,我看到它很多 呃,呃,你知道 |
| 371 | that's my take on on on things and I I'm not working right now I got done with work and I | 这就是我在事情上的责任 我现在不工作 我完成了工作 |
| 372 | and you know what in this time that I'm not working I I really really hope to solidify | 你知道在这个时候,我不工作 我真的希望巩固 |
| 373 | to really really solidify our relationship and and what better time than 13 years old | 真正巩固我们的关系 还有比13岁更好的时间 |
| 374 | when you are just you know this is like I said that awkward age I remember gosh my 13 year old | 当你只是你知道,这就像我说过, 尴尬的年龄,我记得耶稣 我的13岁 |
| 375 | I mean you know what I did I was dealing with cancer and I mean I was a whole other place but | 我的意思是你知道我做了什么 我处理癌症 我的意思是我是一个完全 其他地方,但 |
| 376 | I but I was struggling my parents I didn't know if they were together separated divorced what was | 但我在挣扎着 我父母 我不知道他们是否分居了 |
| 377 | going to happen and I told you this before my life was topsy-turvy I mean I went to three different | 我会发生,我告诉你, 在我的生命是 精神错乱之前,我的意思是,我去了三个不同的 |
| 378 | schools in the sixth grade I you know I I just didn't know and I was I was lost I was a kind of | 6年级的学校,你知道我只是不知道 我迷路了,我是那种 |
| 379 | a lost child but I've always but something I've learned as an adult that I never lost you know I | 一个迷路的孩子,但我总是... ...但是我作为一个成年人学到的东西... ...我从未失去... |
| 380 | may have been lost in many ways but I I never really lost is that I I'm strong I'm a strong | 可能在许多方面都迷路了 但我从未真正失去过 |
| 381 | person inside and I'm determined and I can't say that I've always been able to pride myself in that | 内心的人,我决心,我不能说 我一直能够骄傲自己 |
| 382 | throughout my life but I can say that now I say now and and you have that you have that | 在我的一生中,但我可以说, 现在我说,现在,你拥有 |
| 383 | in you and that is going I feel like that it's going to take you far I feel like it gets me to | 在你身上,我感觉它会带你走远 我觉得它会让我走远 |
| 384 | places where I need to be when when times are down I sometimes when you know you just think | 需要我的地方 当时间到了... ...我有时... |
| 385 | all hope is lost and I've reached that place I told you that you know we we we reached that place | 所有希望都丧失了 我已经到达我告诉你的那个地方 你知道我们到了那个地方 |
| 386 | but my biggest concerns are you and Logan your brother's well-being and your happiness and our | 但我最担心的是 你和罗根 你弟弟的幸福 幸福和我们 |
| 387 | stability and you know we have issues with family dynamics right now right now you're not getting | 稳定,你知道我们有 家庭动态的问题 现在,你没有得到 |
| 388 | along with Darren and I know the whole there's a whole issue there but I have confidence that | 和达伦一起 我知道整个问题都存在 但我有信心 |
| 389 | that will work through I know that you're going through a lot right now and this is a funny age | 这会通过工作 我知道你正在经历很多 现在,这是一个有趣的时代 |
| 390 | but I'm home and I'm able to really I want to really connect with you that's my goal | 但是,我回来了,我真的可以 我真的想联系你,这是我的目标 |
| 391 | is to really you know not be up in your face but just be there for you and and to solidify | 真的,你知道不 在你的脸上, 只是在那里为你和巩固 |
| 392 | our relationship because with what I'm going through and you're my daughter and I know you're | 我们的关系,因为我正在经历 你是我的女儿,我知道你是 |
| 393 | going through it too you know I know it's not something you like to talk about and we've tried | 经历它,你知道 我知道这不是你喜欢谈论的东西 我们试过了 |
| 394 | the counseling route and I think you're pretty strong with or without counseling but I really | 咨询路线 我觉得你很强壮 或没有咨询 但我真的 |
| 395 | I think that it's important for me to just be there I'm not going to call up someone come | 我觉得我一定要到那儿去 我不会叫人来的 |
| 396 | to the house to talk with you and here I am right here you know it's let's let's talk let's let's | 到家里跟你谈谈,我在这里 你知道它让我们谈谈,让我们谈谈 |
| 397 | sit down and talk let's I'm here I'm an open ear for you whenever you know I I may be recovering | 坐下来谈谈吧,我在这里... ...每当你知道我可能康复的时候,我就会为你敞开心扉 |
| 398 | from radiation or on medication or not feeling my very best but I'm going to try my darndest to be | 辐射或药物... ...或感觉不到我最好的... ...但我会尝试我最该死的是... |
| 399 | able to be able to hear you even if I'm just laying there half listening please know that I'm | 即使我躺在那听一半 请知道我在听 |
| 400 | listening it's important it's important to me just as much as it was important to me to communicate | 听着 这很重要 对我很重要 跟我沟通一样重要 |
| 401 | to you when you were in the womb because I knew that would be beneficial to you later on it was | 当你在子宫里的时候 对你有好处 因为我知道那以后对你有好处 |
| 402 | it's as important to me for me to read books to you at night for me to help nurture your mind in | 我晚上读书给你听 帮助培养你的思想 对我同样重要 |
| 403 | your in your in you and and just really facilitate all those things all of those things I did as a mom | 你内心深处,我做母亲时所做的一切 |
| 404 | to benefit you those were just as important as me laying on a couch listening to your stories | 对你有好处 和我躺在沙发上听你们的故事一样重要 |
| 405 | about school in your friendship situations I want to hear them I want to hear them and you know if | 关于学校 在你的友谊状况 我想听到他们 我想听到他们 |
| 406 | I give advice or if I you know say things to you that you know you might not want to hear | 我给建议,或者如果你知道 告诉你的事情,你知道 你可能不想听到 |
| 407 | it's okay to let me know that too right now I've been a little bit tough on you because I've been | 现在也让我知道 对你有点苛刻,因为我一直 |
| 408 | demanding a certain degree of respect because respect needs to happen it just needs to happen | 要求一定程度的尊重 因为尊重需要发生 它只需要发生 |
| 409 | I've I got you on your way into life and I have done a fairly good job I feel as a mom | 我让你踏上人生的旅程 我做了件很出色的工作 |
| 410 | to get you to a good place at this point you know you may not be completely thrilled everything and | 带你到一个好地方 此时此刻,你知道 你可能并不完全兴奋的一切 |
| 411 | emotionally I know sometimes you feel a wreck and you know you feel like sometimes you can't stand | 情感上,我知有时你会觉得一团糟 有时你会觉得自己受不了 |
| 412 | and you want me to make decisions to but you know what my you know how I feel on that you | 你想让我做决定 但你知道我对你的感受 |
| 413 | know what my take is on that and I I just want you to please hang in there please hang in please | 知道我拿的是什么,我只想请你坚持住,请坚持住 |
| 414 | know that we love and support you we and I don't speak for anyone else but I do know that the love | 我们爱和支持你... ...我们不代表任何人... ...但我知道爱 |
| 415 | comes from Dan as well you just don't even see that you don't see that everybody everybody has | 丹也来了 你根本看不出来 每个人都有 |
| 416 | you know when somebody really loves someone I it and you know when they don't and I I would know | 你知道,当有人真的爱一个人 我,你知道 当他们不,我会知道 |
| 417 | if that were the case it's not the case at all it's just that we all have different ways of | 如果情况是这样的话 根本不是这样 只是我们都有不同的方式 |
| 418 | presenting our love and sharing our love and my approach a different person we're different people | 展示我们的爱 分享我们的爱 和我的方法 一个不同的人 我们是不同的人 |
| 419 | we're all different people on this earth and that's the biggest thing and I just want you to know | 我们都是不同的人 在这个地球上,这是最大的事情 我只是想让你知道 |
| 420 | that as you go through life please understand and and I'm just trying to teach you in a very | 当你经历生命的时候 请理解 我只是想教你一个非常 |
| 421 | and know you can understand I want to try to in simple terms explain to you that you are going | 并且你知道,你可以理解 我想尝试 简言之,解释给你 你要去 |
| 422 | to run into so many different people and personalities in life and sometimes they bombard you and you just | 在生活中遇到这么多不同的人和个性 有时他们会轰炸你和你 |
| 423 | don't even know where they came from and and life doesn't seem worth living sometimes and you're | 甚至不知道他们从哪里来 生活似乎不值得生活 有时,你 |
| 424 | just like what is this but as long as you stay true to yourself and who you are which I have | 就像这是什么 只要你忠于自己 和我拥有的你 |
| 425 | confidence that you will be you've always been that way you can't go wrong you cannot go wrong | 相信自己会成为你永远是那样的 你不能犯错 你不能犯错 |
| 426 | so just don't be quick to reject others don't be so quick to shoot people away you know out of | 别急着拒绝别人 别急着开枪打死别人 |
| 427 | anger out of frustration out of and you will and accidentally we always we make these mistakes and | 我们总是犯这些错误 |
| 428 | we do but I I want you to to just know that I've learned from my experience and I'm not perfect | 但是我想让你知道 我从我的经验中吸取了教训 我并不完美 |
| 429 | believe me I'm not but I just want you to really get that message that you just have to be know | 相信我,我不是,但我只是想让你 真正得到的信息,你只需要知道 |
| 430 | where you stand but really be able to step outside and be able to look at where other people are | 你站在哪里,但真的可以 走出门 并能够看别人在哪里 |
| 431 | coming from seeing all different other perspectives and seeing where some might be coming from and | 从所有不同的其他视角来看 也从哪里来的 |
| 432 | trying to take in another point of view is a good healthy thing to do it's probably the best thing | 试图从另一种观点来看待 做健康的事情是件好事 这可能是最好的事情 |
| 433 | you can do when you're trying to develop relationships in life it's going to help you | 当你试图在生活中发展关系时 就能帮助你 |
| 434 | it's going to help you to cope unfortunately you know a lot of these things I didn't learn | 这会帮助你 应付不幸 你知道很多这些东西 我没有学到 |
| 435 | until later I mean I didn't learn these things right off the bat I we all live in like our little | 直到后来,我的意思是,我没有 学习这些东西 从球棒上... ... |
| 436 | bubble and we think we've got things figured out and we think we handle things the way we've | 气泡,我们觉得我们已经想通了 我们认为我们处理事情的方式 |
| 437 | used to handle but something new comes up and then we have to deal with that and it's like oh | 曾经处理,但有新的东西出现, 然后我们必须处理 这一点,它就像哦 |
| 438 | okay so lifelong learners is really what it's about my grandfather was a lifelong learner | 好吧,所以终身学习 真的是关于我的祖父是一个终身学习者 |
| 439 | some people are some people aren't but I strive to be that lifelong learner even after I was | 有些人是别人不是 但我努力成为毕生的学习者 |
| 440 | diagnosed I knew that day I wasn't going to stop learning about what was happening to me what could | 那天我知道了 我不会停止 了解我发生了什么 |
| 441 | happen to me what other things out there I wasn't going to stop and I know that you are that way and | 发生在我身上什么其他的事情 我不打算停止 我知道你是这样, |
| 442 | that makes me really pleased that you are you don't give up and you're passionate about the | 这让我非常高兴 你没有放弃,你对 |
| 443 | that you like and are interested in and I'm thrilled with that just don't shut out other | 你喜欢并且感兴趣 我对这感到兴奋 只是不要排斥其他 |
| 444 | people's opinions because in the process of you developing your own knowledge and abilities | 人们的意见 因为你们在发展自己的知识和能力的过程中 |
| 445 | shutting people turning people away isn't really going to help you get your point across to others | 把人关起来不会帮助你向别人表达你的观点 |
| 446 | you in whatever way you want to share it with the world or with other people I you know opening | 不管你想怎么和世界分享 或和别人分享 你认识的开场白 |
| 447 | keeping those doors open it's going to help you with that this part of the video I just wanted to | 保持这些门打开 它会帮助你 这部分视频 我只是想 |
| 448 | address you know where I'm at right now I wanted to talk about your birth my feelings from the | 地址你知道我现在在哪里 我想谈谈你的出生 |
| 449 | moment you were born and moving forward watching you grow from a little girl into a young lady | 看着你从一个小女孩成长成一个年轻的女士 看着你出生和前进 |
| 450 | and you know you are not a woman in my eyes yet but you are a young lady who is on her way well | 而且你知道你不是我眼中的女人 但你是一个年轻的女士 她正在路上很好 |
| 451 | on her way to being a very strong woman someday and I'm very proud of you and the next time you | 有一天她会成为一个非常坚强的女人 我为你感到骄傲,下次你 |
| 452 | in this video I hope to just sort of talk about some things that may happen to you later on that | 我希望在影片中 谈谈你以后可能遇到的事 |
| 453 | I just want to give you you know talk to you a little bit about my feelings | 我只想告诉你,你知道 和你谈谈我的感受 |
| 454 | without trying to be in that moment because I don't I don't want to take away from anything | 不想在那一刻 因为我不想夺走任何东西 |
| 455 | that you might experience individually I just want you to hear from me and I love you I just | 你可能亲身经历 我只想让你听到我的声音 我爱你 我只是... |
| 456 | want you to know that I say it and you might hear it and it means you know mom's words I love you | 想要你知道,我说,你可能会听到 它意味着你知道妈妈的话我爱你 |
| 457 | it just kind of comes and goes but I but I want you to know my love isn't just a love it's that | 它只是一种来去去 但我希望你知道 我的爱不仅仅是爱 |
| 458 | deep deep unconditional love that means there's nothing attached to it no strengths it's just it | 深深的无条件的爱 意味着没有什么附属于它 没有优势 |
| 459 | is here and it will it could never be broken up or leave nothing nothing could ever happen to it | 在这里,它会永远无法被打破 或留下任何事情 永远不会发生 |
| 460 | from the moment you were born I signed a contract with my heart that that love began and my contract | 从你出生的那一刻起 我和我的心一起签署了一份合同 爱的开始和我的合同 |
| 461 | continues okay all set hi honey it's mom as you can see I've changed a little bit up top | 继续,好了,蜂蜜,这是妈妈,你可以看到,我已经 改变了一点点顶端 |
| 462 | since the last time the first part of this video and when I look back on it I'm missing my hair | 自从上次这段视频的第一部分 当我回过头来的时候 我想念我的头发 |
| 463 | already but um I know that there are some things that you know you you're going through right now | 但是,嗯,我知道有些事情 你知道你正在经历 |
| 464 | and seeing my hair gone but I know you wouldn't admit it admit to it I guess for I guess for me | 看到我的头发不见了 但你不会承认的 |
| 465 | it's just kind of a natural thing because I lost my hair before in my life and I've been on chemotherapy | 这很自然 因为我以前没发过 也做过化疗 |
| 466 | before and so for me it it doesn't seem like such a big deal and I'm more prepared for it this time | 之前,所以对我来说,它似乎没有 这么大的事情,我更准备了这次 |
| 467 | than I certainly was at 12 years old which you know was like I told you before it's a very rough | 比我12岁那年还好,你知道的 就像我之前告诉你的,这是很粗暴的 |
| 468 | time it's a hard time in your life to begin with and you don't see that now but you will someday | 时间是你生命中的艰难时刻 开始,你看不到 现在,但你会有一天 |
| 469 | and you know to lose your hair and you know to make sure that you know your friends don't know | 你知道失去你的头发 你知道确保你知道你的朋友不知道 |
| 470 | I had one close friend that knew about I knew about things that she went through and she | 我有一个亲密的朋友知道 我知道的事情,她经历了,她 |
| 471 | knew about things that I went through and she was the only one that knew that I was wearing a wig | 知道我经历的事情 她是唯一知道我戴假发的人 |
| 472 | and maybe some kids suspected that I was but I thought I got away with it pretty well so as long | 也许有些孩子怀疑我是... ...但我觉得我逃过一劫 |
| 473 | psychologically it helped me quite a bit putting this tape together for you I really just wanted to | 从心理上来说,它帮助了我 将这盘磁带集中起来 对你来说,我真的很想 |
| 474 | give you a sense of where where you know my mind is in in in how I've raised you and how I've | 让你知道我的心在什么地方 如何把你养大 |
| 475 | you know things that I've done for years you know good or bad and I know someday when you become | 你知道一些我多年做过的事 你知好知坏 |
| 476 | an adult you will understand that you know we make mistakes we fall down we get up and we dust | 一个成年人,你会明白,你知道我们犯错 我们跌倒,我们起来,我们灰尘 |
| 477 | ourselves off and we move forward as best as we can and that's all I've ever tried to do and | 自己离开,我们尽可能的前进, 这就是我一直试图做的, |
| 478 | and there are times in my life when you remind me of me in many ways because I am hard on myself | 有时候你让我想起我 因为我对自己很苛刻 |
| 479 | and I've been hard on myself and worried about what other people think and it's natural to | 我对自己很苦心 担心别人会怎么想 这很自然 |
| 480 | feel that way your age but then again it's part of been part of my personality and part of who I am | 感觉你的年龄,但再次 它的一部分是我的个性的一部分,我是谁的一部分 |
| 481 | you know just some of my insecurities you know we call them insecurities but you know I | 你知道只是我的一些不安全感 你知道我们称之为不安全感 但你知道我 |
| 482 | I've worried about what people thought and things like that um you know I'm not super old and I | 我担心人们的想法和那些事... 你知道我不是超级老了,我... |
| 483 | don't have you know lots and lots of years and years of wisdom to tell you but I do have I do | 你并不知道多少年的智慧 告诉你,但我确实知道 |
| 484 | have 41 years now that I can say that I you know I I know that in my heart those things don't matter | 现在有41年了,我可以说,你知道,我知道,我知道 在我心里,那些事情不重要 |
| 485 | as much anymore and I know that at some point in your life you'll get to that place too or you just | 我知道在你生命的某个时刻 你也会去那个地方 或者你只是 |
| 486 | don't it's not that you don't care it's just that little things like that just don't matter | 别忘了你不在乎 只是那种小事不重要 |
| 487 | um whatever you decide to do in life as far as whether you get married have children I know you | 嗯,不管你决定做什么 在生活中,你是否结婚 有孩子,我认识你 |
| 488 | are very opinionated sometimes I think it's very funny you know I laugh about it inside and there | 有时候很有见解,我觉得这很有趣 你知道我嘲笑它在里面和那里 |
| 489 | are other times when I take you seriously because I know that you're such a planner and you you | 其他时候,当我认真对待你 因为我知道你是这样一个计划家 而你 |
| 490 | fall through with a lot of things that you say but I also know that you're 13 years old and that a lot | 经历很多你说的话 但我也知道 你已经13岁了 |
| 491 | of the things that you say they may not materialize the way you think it's going to so just keep that | 你所说的那些事 可能无法如你所想的那样实现 |
| 492 | you know if you plan to to get married someday I hope you are absolutely in love with person | 如果你打算有一天结婚 我希望你绝对爱上一个人 |
| 493 | that you can call your friend you are the person that you can you know talk with and go to if you | 你可以打电话给你的朋友,你能够知道 与你交谈和去 如果你 |
| 494 | have problems um I know in my heart at this point in time in my life that there are certain things | 有问题,嗯,我知道在我的心 在这个时候 在我的生命中, 有某些事情 |
| 495 | that we do in life and we don't know exactly how it's going to be but there's one thing I there are | 在生活中,我们做,我们不知道 它是如何是确切的,但有一件事,我有 |
| 496 | some things that I have learned over the years and that is these important little things and | 我这些年来学到的一些东西 就是这些重要的小东西 |
| 497 | you just don't know until you go through it and you know you may find yourself in a place where | 你只是不知道 直到你经历它,你知道 你可能会发现自己在一个地方 |
| 498 | you're not in a place where you want to be but it's never too late it never ever too late to | 你不是在一个地方 你想成为 但永远不会太晚 它永远不会太晚 |
| 499 | change your mind or to change your decision about things the only thing that makes it difficult | 改变你的想法 或改变你的决定 事物 唯一使它困难的东西 |
| 500 | and that I've learned over the years is that once you have a family once you have children | 这些年来我了解到 一旦你有了家庭 一旦你有了孩子 |
| 501 | and children become a part of your life it does complicate things a little bit more so that if you | 孩子们成为你生活的一部分 事情会变得更复杂一些 如果你 |
| 502 | make a decision to not either be with the person that you think you is your soul mate for the rest | 做一个决定 要么不与你认为 你是你的灵魂伴侣 剩下的 |
| 503 | your life or you think that you know maybe you could have made a better decision at some point | 或者你认为你知道 也许你可以做出更好的决定 |
| 504 | along the way it's a little bit more difficult to just go back and fix you can't really do that | 一路走下去 回去修补一下就有点难了 |
| 505 | can't go back and try to change things as easily when you have children because you know we want | 不能回去改变事情 当你有孩子,因为你知道我们想要 |
| 506 | certain things in life to be stable and to be um just the same you know your children you don't | 生活中的某些东西是稳定的,嗯... 就像你了解你的孩子一样... |
| 507 | you know i don't i i've been very careful about not upsetting your life too much and you know | 你知道,我没有,我一直非常小心 不打扰你的生活太多,你知道 |
| 508 | whether it be changing schools um you know there was a time when i really did in my heart i wanted | 是否正在改变学校... ...你知道,有一段时间,我真心希望 |
| 509 | to move closer to my own sister to be you know but i don't want you to feel in any way shape or form | 靠近我的妹妹,你知道 但我不希望你有任何感觉 |
| 510 | that you know when you if you watch this someday that you think you know maybe you could have done | 你知道,当你看到这一天,你认为 你知道,也许你可以做 |
| 511 | that for your mom and and um allowed me to be closer to my doctors and things like that but i | 为了你妈妈和嗯... ...让我更接近我的医生和诸如此类的事情... |
| 512 | i want you to know that i made this decision because i care about you and i love you and i | 我要你知道,我做了这个决定 因为我关心你,我爱你,我爱你 |
| 513 | want you but it wasn't just about that it was about not upsetting your life and making it | 想要你... ...但不只是... ...它不是关于... |
| 514 | so difficult that you couldn't stand to not only have a mom with cancer but to have to meet new | 如此艰难,你无法忍受 不仅有一个母亲 有癌症,并且不得不满足新的 |
| 515 | friends and go to a new school all of those adjustments i took into consideration and that's | 朋友和去新学校 我考虑了所有的调整 |
| 516 | why you know we chose to live where we live and we we made these decisions because i really thought | 为什么你知道我们选择住的地方 我们做了这些决定 因为我真的认为 |
| 517 | carefully about what you the things you had said to me and your little your four-page letter to me | 仔细想想你对我说的话 还有你给我的四页信 |
| 518 | i'll never forget um that's just proof of what a planner you are and when you mean business you | 我永远不会忘记,嗯,这只是证明 你是一个规划者 当你的意思是生意你 |
| 519 | business and i and you do your homework you do and i have to give you credit for that | 做生意,我和你做你的功课 你做,我不得不给你的功劳 |
| 520 | and i hope you always do your homework i hope you always you know research things | 我希望你总是做功课 希望你永远知道研究 |
| 521 | look look up things before you make decisions and step into you know a pot of boiling water so to | 在你做决定前先看清楚一些事情 然后走进你身边,知道一壶沸水 |
| 522 | speak there's been many times in my life when i've been very impulsive and i've kind of made quick | 说吧,我生命中 有过很多次,当我一直非常冲动, 我有点快 |
| 523 | decisions and it's just part of growing and figuring out you know me thinking that life is | 做决定,这只是成长的一部分 并且想出来 你知道我认为生活是 |
| 524 | going to take me to a certain place because i just was convinced that if i do this well | 我要带我去某个地方 因为我坚信 如果我做得好 |
| 525 | it'll just happen you know i'll uh it'll all work out sometimes it had it did work out for me | 它会只是发生,你知道我会... ...它会一切都会成功... ...有时它确实工作对我来说 |
| 526 | sometimes it didn't and what i like very much and what i'm so proud of of you is that you do | 有时它没有,我非常喜欢什么 我以你为荣的是你做的 |
| 527 | your you look at things before you just make a decision um you know you might not right now | 在你做决定之前你先看看事情 你知道你现在可能不会 |
| 528 | because of your age but you definitely have that that is part of your personality and it was when | 因为你的年龄,但你肯定有 这是你人格的一部分,它当时 |
| 529 | you were a little girl i mean you didn't just do things quickly and i am really i'm reassured | 你还是个小女孩,我的意思是,你不只是做 事情很快,我真的放心 |
| 530 | that you're going to make decisions someday and even if they're not the right decisions they're | 你总有一天会做决定 即使不是正确的决定 |
| 531 | going to be ones that um you've done your homework for you you looked at before you | 做你的功课,你之前看过 |
| 532 | jumped into so to speak um you know you say often that you and your brother are very different you're | 跳进去说,嗯,你知道你经常说 你和你哥哥很不一样 |
| 533 | very different personalities i do say that i say it pretty clear because it's pretty obvious and | 不同的个性,我确实说,我说得很清楚,因为它非常明显, |
| 534 | it's obvious to a lot of other people other than you know your mom and your dad um but i have to | 除了你认识你妈妈和你爸爸之外,其他很多人都很清楚 但我必须 |
| 535 | say that i i told you this many times there are just there are things about you that i absolutely | 说我跟你说过很多次了 只是有些事我绝对 |
| 536 | love absolutely love about you i love that you are who you are in certain ways just like i love | 爱绝对爱着你 我爱你在某种意义上的你 就像我爱的那样 |
| 537 | you know how your brother is about his little personality and things will be interesting over | 你知道你哥哥怎么看他的个性 事情会很有趣的 |
| 538 | the years to see how that grows and develops um just like i have i've gotten to watch you develop | 几年来看它是如何成长和发展的,嗯 就像我有,我得到了看你的发展 |
| 539 | in just 13 years but you know it hasn't been very long but i so look forward to you know many more | 在短短的13年,但你知道 它没有很长 但我希望你知道更多 |
| 540 | years of watching you grow into and have your personality and your um just watch you change | 看着你成长 拥有你的个性 看着你改变 |
| 541 | and mature and you know maybe um and i'm very thrilled and excited to be thinking about being | 而且成熟,你知道 也许嗯,我非常兴奋和兴奋 |
| 542 | a part of those times and i want you to know i tell you this often i don't know how often you | 我经常告诉你,我不知道你有多少次 |
| 543 | hear me but i'm there all the time i had to go over to wal-mart and get some new tapes and um | 听着,但我一直在那里 我不得不去华尔马 得到一些新的磁带和嗯 |
| 544 | kathy did that with me and um i just wanted to sort of um i watched the end of the last tape and i | Kathy和我做了那些 我只是想有点嗯 我看着最后一段录像带的结尾 |
| 545 | think i'm pretty not quite sure exactly what i was saying to you at the moment in that moment but i | 我觉得我不太清楚 我当时在跟你说什么 |
| 546 | know that um at this point i just want to say you um i was talking about decisions that you make | 你知道,嗯,在这一点上,我只是想说,嗯,我在谈论的决定 你做 |
| 547 | later in your life and um how much no matter what you make for a decision or what you decide to do | 以后你的生活,嗯... 无论你做出什么决定 或你决定做什么 |
| 548 | i'm going to be there to support you 110 percent um and it doesn't mean that i won't be there to | 我会在那里支持你110% 嗯,这并不意味着我不会在那里 |
| 549 | give you motherly advice my mother tries to give me advice today and sometimes i find myself getting | 给你母亲的建议 我妈妈今天试图给我的建议 有时我发现自己得到 |
| 550 | caught up in telling her that i already know i know i know i know but sometimes there's been | 告诉她我知道我知道 我知道 但有时 |
| 551 | many times in my life when i walked away and when i think about it her advice hasn't been so bad | 在我生命中很多次,当我离开 当我想到它的时候, 她的建议没有那么糟糕 |
| 552 | it's actually been advice that she'd given to me from hard-earned experience and you can't really | 其实是她从辛苦的经历给我的忠告 而你真的不能 |
| 553 | argue with any of that because sometimes our mother's just no best it might be a overused | 与其中任何一个争论,因为有时 我们的母亲只是不是最好的 它可能是过度使用 |
| 554 | little saying but it is just what it is it's hard to explain sometimes to people how that happens | 只是说说而已 但有时候很难解释 |
| 555 | but it just does sometimes i get advice from her that i don't always want to accept but it is it is | 但有时候我从她那里得到建议 我并不总想接受 但其实是 |
| 556 | turns out to be good advice and maybe because she's from the outside looking in on me and there's | 可能是因为她来自外面 看着我 |
| 557 | no me since i was born and you just have to trust that that's how i feel about you i've known you | 从我出生起就没有我 你只需要相信 这就是我对你的感觉 我认识你 |
| 558 | since you're born and i know you always say well i'm a different person and you don't know everything | 既然你出生了 我知道你老是说我变了人 你什么都不知道 |
| 559 | little thing but you know i give you credit because i do know quite a bit i do know a lot | 一点点,但你知道我给你的功劳 因为我知道很多事情 |
| 560 | more than you think and when you um give birth to a child and you raise that child you you know a lot | 比你想象的还要多 当你生了孩子 抚养了那个孩子 你认识很多 |
| 561 | tend to know a lot about them do i know every little thought that goes on in your mind no i | 常知道很多关于他们的事... ...我知道在你脑海中的每一个小想法... ... |
| 562 | don't and i'm glad that you have you're able to have you know your opinions and your own thoughts | 不要,而且我很高兴你有 你能够知道你的意见和你自己的想法 |
| 563 | that you can keep to yourself and or write down whatever whatever it is however you like to | 你可以保持自己,或记下 无论你喜欢什么 |
| 564 | to do i know you and i are different that way i'm sort of write my thoughts down on paper and that's | 我知道你和我是不一样的 这样我就会把想法写在纸上 |
| 565 | kind of how that propelled me into wanting to you know write a book about my life and things like | 那种方式促使我 想要你知道 写一本关于我的生活和事物的书 |
| 566 | that not everybody likes to do that not that's not for everybody not everybody likes to put their | 不是每个人都喜欢这么做 不是每个人都喜欢这样 |
| 567 | feelings on paper and and you and i are a little different that way um and i hope someday to be | 纸上的感觉和你我有点不一样 我希望有一天 |
| 568 | able to have that book for you to be able to read and or share with others or just i hope to have | 能够有这本书 让你能够阅读 或与其他人分享 或者只是我希望有 |
| 569 | of these things i wanted you to be able to see my face and whether i'm here 10 years from now or | 我想让你看看我的脸 以及10年后我是否在这里 |
| 570 | 20 years from now or whether i'm not for you know god forbid something happens to me um with this | 20年后,或者我不适合你... ...你知道,上帝保佑我... ... |
| 571 | illness or whatever i mean we don't know what could happen to any of us from day to day moment to | 疾病或什么,我的意思是,我们不知道 会发生什么 我们从一天到一天的时间到 |
| 572 | moment but i i know that this making this tape for you was important to me for you to be able to | 我知道这段录影带对你很重要 |
| 573 | see my face talking to you um even if you've heard many of these words before um it's still | 看见我的脸跟你说话 即使你听过很多这些话 |
| 574 | important for me to be able to say them again and have you hear them again and have this as a keepsake | 对我来说很重要,可以再说一遍 让你再听到一遍 把这当作一个收藏品 |
| 575 | that you could play again and again to listen to whenever you so chose to um you know i i've said | 你可以一遍又一遍地演奏 每当你选择 嗯... ...你知道我说过 |
| 576 | this and i've said this in the early part of the tape that you know i'm very very proud of you i'm | 我之前在录像带里说过 我为你感到非常骄傲 |
| 577 | proud of everything that you've done it just ceases to amaze me what you are capable of doing | 为你所做的一切感到骄傲 只是不再让我惊讶 你有能力做的事 |
| 578 | and what you have shown me that you're able to do and i so look forward to future years of just | 以及你给我看的 你能做到的 我期待未来 |
| 579 | watching you be successful and grow um but the most important thing to me at this point especially | 看着你成功成长 但对我来说最重要的一件事是 |
| 580 | where the age that you're at right now where you're sort of kind of struggling with you know am i an | 在那里,你现在的年龄 在那里,你有点 挣扎,你知道我是一个 |
| 581 | and you want to voice them and you want to have the opportunity to do that and sometimes you | 并且你想表达他们 你希望有机会这样做 有时你 |
| 582 | fight me and you fight darren and you you're fighting the world right now because you feel | 跟我打,你和Darren打 而你现在打世界 因为你觉得 |
| 583 | like your opinions need to be voiced and they're strong you're a strong willed girl and you're a | 就像你的意见需要表达 和它们很强 你是一个坚强的意志女孩 你是一个 |
| 584 | very strong um personality and in your in your beliefs and those the idea that you are is | 非常强壮的... ... 个性... |
| 585 | i'm very proud of i like the fact that you are a strong old girl nobody's really going to persuade | 我很骄傲你是个强壮的老姑娘 没有人会真正说服你 |
| 586 | you to do anything that you don't want to do really and that i know for a fact i've known this about | 你做你不想做的事 而我知道事实 |
| 587 | you since you were five years old i've known this but i do i want to go back to you know exactly how | 从你五岁起我就知道了 但我想回去告诉你 |
| 588 | i felt about you from the moment you were born i knew that you were a strong person and you that's | 从你出生的那一刻起 我就觉得你很坚强 |
| 589 | a very good quality to have um but there are times during your growing up years when i've noticed that | 一个非常好的品质,嗯... ...但有时,在你长大的岁月里,我注意到 |
| 590 | sometimes your strong personality and your strong opinions have kind of gotten in the way of you | 有时候你的强个性 和你的强烈意见 有点妨碍到你 |
| 591 | being able to see all that you can around you and if i could give you one last message that would | 能看见你身边的一切 如果我能给你最后一条信息 |
| 592 | be to really open up your eyes to really look around make sure that you're not using your | 是真正打开你的眼睛 真正看看周围 确保你没有使用你的 |
| 593 | strong opinions to propel you to doing things and making decisions about other people and other | 强烈的意见推动你做一些事情 和决定别人和其他人 |
| 594 | things and being sort of allowing it to create sort of an ignorance and sort of opinions about | 事物和某种 允许它制造 某种无知 和某种观点 |
| 595 | things that unless you like i told you this from day one and i know this having been through cancer | 除非你喜欢 我从第一天开始就告诉你 我知道这已经是癌症 |
| 596 | in my life having been through hardships in my life even people who have been through it they can't | 在我的生活中,我经历了艰难的一生 即使是经历过它的人 他们也不能 |
| 597 | always speak to this but i have to say this is very important to me as a mom saying to you | 总是这样说话 但我不得不说 这对我很重要 作为妈妈对你说话 |
| 598 | unless you walk in somebody else's shoes do not claim to know how they feel or what they're going | 除非你走在别人的鞋 并不声称知道他们的感受或他们要去什么 |
| 599 | or what they should do or what they should have done because everybody makes their decisions based | 或他们应该做什么 或他们应该做什么 因为每个人都根据 |
| 600 | on in the moment what they are feeling and they make it based on what is best for them and not | 在他们所感受的瞬间 他们根据对他们最有利的 而不是 |
| 601 | everybody makes good decisions and i haven't i've told you this throughout the tape i've not made | 每个人都做好决定,我还没有告诉你 整个带子我还没有做 |
| 602 | the most perfect decisions in my life that i could have made for myself but and you're not going to | 我一生中最完美的决定 我本可以为自己做出 但你不会 |
| 603 | want you to know that no matter what you decide to do i will support you it doesn't mean i'm not | 想让你知道 无论你决定做什么 我都会支持你 这并不意味着我不是 |
| 604 | going to give you my opinion as a mom on what i think you could do but i would never ever push | 我以母亲的身份给你我的意见... ...关于你所能做到的... ...但我永远不会推 |
| 605 | that on you in a strong way and lead you to feel so differently than what you feel already about | 以强烈的方式 引导你 感觉如此不同 |
| 606 | yourself i want you to try i really would like to see you make a decision and i will either support | 我想让你试试 我真的很想看你做决定 我要么支持 |
| 607 | you or i will share my opinion but it's going to be in a really really really really really | 你或我会同意我的看法 但真的真的会 |
| 608 | really neutral way. | 非常中立的方式。 |
| 609 | If I don't, you're allowed to remind me of that. | 如果我不这样做,你可以提醒我这一点。 |
| 610 | As you get older, I | 随着你长大,我 |
| 611 | will give you permission for that. | 将允许你这样做。 |
| 612 | But please be gentle, and please be respectful when you | 但请温柔点,请尊重你 |
| 613 | do. | 说吧 |
| 614 | I wish, looking back, that I had been a little more respectful and a little more | 我希望,回头看,我一直 有点更尊重,一点点 |
| 615 | gentle on my mother and some of her opinions on things, because I know she didn't well | 温柔地对待我母亲 以及她对于事情的一些看法 因为我知道她不好 |
| 616 | in the end, but I didn't always take it the way. | 最终,但我并不总是 把它的方式。 |
| 617 | It's hard for us to know that when we're | 我们很难知道 当我们是 |
| 618 | growing up. | 长大了 |
| 619 | But I know in time you will learn it because you're a smart girl and I've watched | 但我知道到时候你会学会的 因为你是个聪明的女孩 我看过 |
| 620 | you evolve and mature and learn things over time that you didn't get when you were seven | 你进化和成熟 学习的东西 随着时间的推移,你没有得到 当你七岁 |
| 621 | years old. | 岁. |
| 622 | You get now at 13. | 你现在13点到 |
| 623 | So my last message to you is I absolutely love you with all of | 所以,我最后的信息是 我绝对爱你与所有 |
| 624 | my heart, unconditionally. | 我的心脏,无条件。 |
| 625 | There are no strings attached. | 没有附加条件。 |
| 626 | This, it is just a love that will | 这,这只是一个爱会 |
| 627 | never ever decrease, diminish, no matter what happens, no matter what. | 不管发生什么 也不管发生什么 永远不要减少 |
| 628 | You could say very | 你可以说非常 |
| 629 | hurtful things to me, and I'm going to tell you they hurt me. | 伤害我的东西,我要告诉你 他们伤害了我。 |
| 630 | But it doesn't mean I would | 但这并不意味着我会 |
| 631 | ever stop loving you as a person and as my daughter. | 永远不爱你 作为一个人和我女儿。 |
| 632 | And I feel very, very lucky to have | 我感到非常非常幸运 |
| 633 | you as a daughter. | 你作为一个女儿。 |
| 634 | And I feel very, very blessed to be able to see you achieve things that | 我感到非常,非常幸运 能看到你实现的东西 |
| 635 | you want to achieve. | 你想实现。 |
| 636 | And you go after things and you talk to me about things. | 你追寻事物 和我谈论事物。 |
| 637 | And I just | 我刚刚 |
| 638 | know in my heart that you're going to be successful no matter what you decide to do. | 我心里知道 无论你决定做什么 你都会成功 |
| 639 | And if you | 狦 |
| 640 | fail, if you feel in your heart that you failed, just know that you can get back up again, | 如果你心里觉得自己失败了 只要知道你能再站起来 |
| 641 | brush yourself off and start again. | 梳洗一下,重新开始。 |
| 642 | You don't. | 你没有。 |
| 643 | It is not the end of the world. | 这不是世界末日。 |
| 644 | It is not. | 事实并非如此。 |
| 645 | It is never too late. | 它永远不会太晚。 |
| 646 | Sometimes we can't undo things that have happened, but it is never | 有时我们无法扭转 已经发生的事情,但它永远不会 |
| 647 | too late to change and fix things. | 来不及改变和修补了 |
| 648 | I mean, I've met older people along the way, people in | 我的意思是,我遇到了老年人 沿途,人们在 |
| 649 | groups, 10, 20 years older than me, that are just discovering things about their lives, | 一群比我大10到20岁的人 正在发掘他们的生活 |
| 650 | making changes, and become extremely happy in a way that they've never been before. | 以他们从未有过的方式 变得极度快乐 |
| 651 | And I | 还有我 |
| 652 | know, and when you see this happening, you know that life is just a series of learning events. | 你知道,当你看到这种情况发生, 你知道生活只是一系列学习事件。 |
| 653 | And it continues. | 它继续。 |
| 654 | It's never ending. | 它永远不会结束。 |
| 655 | And, you know, what you learn today doesn't mean you're | 而且,你知道,你今天学到的 并不意味着你是 |
| 656 | not going to change your mind later on and evolve and think differently about things. | 以后你不会改变主意 进化和思考不同的东西。 |
| 657 | So just keep that in mind. | 所以记住这一点。 |
| 658 | Keep an open mind, please. | 请保持开放的心态。 |
| 659 | I love you very much and I'm very proud | 我非常爱你,我很骄傲 |
| 660 | of you. | 你们的 |
| 661 | And I guess that's really the bottom line. | 我想这就是底线。 |
| 662 | That's pretty much all I have to say at this | 我只能这么说了 |
| 663 | point. | 点。 |
| 664 | I hope you enjoy watching this videotape. | 我希望你喜欢看这个录像带。 |
| 665 | Sometimes you might get a little bored with it, | 有时候你可能会觉得无聊 |
| 666 | especially if there are things, like I said, you've heard before, but I hope someday because | 特别是有事情发生,就像我说的, 你以前听说过, 但我希望有一天,因为 |
| 667 | it's beneficial to you and I hope that you can watch it and think, get a good sense of who your | 对你有好处 我希望你能看一看 想一想 |
该视频共有字幕 667 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 【真实对话】妈妈去世前给我录的视频 · 最真实的母语者英语 p02 无字幕 (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hi everyone. | 大家好,你们好 |
| 0:00 | Today I have a very special video. | 今天我有一个非常特别的视频。 |
| 0:03 | I always say that but this one is like extra special. | 我总是这么说,但这个有点特别 |
| 0:06 | It's extra personal. | 这是额外的个人。 |
| 0:08 | I don't know if I have ever or will ever share something this personal on this | 我不知道我是否曾经 或将永远分享 这件事情的私人 |
| 0:12 | channel. | 频道. |
| 0:13 | For a while I was debating whether or not to even post it but at the end of the day | 有一阵子,我一直在辩论 是否甚至张贴,但最后 |
| 0:18 | I think it's a cool thing that I want to share with the world and I think some of you might be | 我觉得这很酷 我想和世界分享 我想你们中有些人 |
| 0:23 | interested or you might benefit from it because well it is related to English, English speakers, | 或者你可能从中得益 因为这和英语、英语有关 |
| 0:29 | native English speakers. | 母语英语。 |
展开字幕全文（652 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hi everyone. | 大家好,你们好 |
| 2 | Today I have a very special video. | 今天我有一个非常特别的视频。 |
| 3 | I always say that but this one is like extra special. | 我总是这么说,但这个有点特别 |
| 4 | It's extra personal. | 这是额外的个人。 |
| 5 | I don't know if I have ever or will ever share something this personal on this | 我不知道我是否曾经 或将永远分享 这件事情的私人 |
| 6 | channel. | 频道. |
| 7 | For a while I was debating whether or not to even post it but at the end of the day | 有一阵子,我一直在辩论 是否甚至张贴,但最后 |
| 8 | I think it's a cool thing that I want to share with the world and I think some of you might be | 我觉得这很酷 我想和世界分享 我想你们中有些人 |
| 9 | interested or you might benefit from it because well it is related to English, English speakers, | 或者你可能从中得益 因为这和英语、英语有关 |
| 10 | native English speakers. | 母语英语。 |
| 11 | But also some of you guys like more personal stuff because it's more | 也有些人喜欢更多个人的东西 因为更多 |
| 12 | interesting. | 有趣,你喜欢我 |
| 13 | It's more engaging and you actually learn more that way. | 这更吸引人,你实际上学到了更多。 |
| 14 | So I'm sharing the video | 所以我分享视频 |
| 15 | that my mom made for me before she died. | 我妈妈死前给我做的 |
| 16 | She made it in three parts. | 她分三个部分完成的 |
| 17 | When she died I was 14 and in | 她死的时候,我14岁 |
| 18 | this video she's talking to me and saying that I'm 13 at the time. | 这段视频她跟我说话 说我当时才13岁 |
| 19 | So this was about a year before | 所以这是大约一年前 |
| 20 | she died or less than a year before she died. | 在她去世前不到一年她就已经去世了 |
| 21 | She made a video for me and my brother as well. | 她也为我和我弟弟拍了个视频 |
| 22 | He | |
| 23 | has his own video in case she were to die because she knew that she had cancer at the time and there | 有他自己的视频以防她死 因为她知道她当时得了癌症 |
| 24 | was the possibility. | 这是可能的。 |
| 25 | I mean there's always the possibility that we could die tomorrow but my mom | 我的意思是,总是有 我们可能明天就死了,但我妈妈 |
| 26 | was facing something pretty serious and so she thought it would be a good idea to make a video | 面对着很严重的事情 所以她觉得拍个视频是个好主意 |
| 27 | talking to me and my brother so that we could have that and watch that forever and I'm really glad | 和我和我哥哥聊天 这样我们就能拥有它 永远看着它 我真的很高兴 |
| 28 | she did. | 琌 |
| 29 | The problem is that her friend helped her record it and whatever they used to record it was | 问题在于她的朋友帮她录了下来 不管他们用什么记录 |
| 30 | absolutely atrocious. | 绝对残忍。 |
| 31 | It was horrible so the audio quality is trash. | 这太可怕了 所以音频质量是垃圾。 |
| 32 | It's really bad. | 这真的很糟。 |
| 33 | So I don't want | ┮иぃ稱 |
| 34 | you to use this as a way to test your listening comprehension because even I don't understand | 你用这个来测试你的听力理解,因为即使我不明白 |
| 35 | what she said at certain points and there's certain points where the video it cuts and it | 她在某些点上说的话 也有一些点 视频剪辑和它 |
| 36 | really fast and nobody can understand. | 很快 没人能理解 |
| 37 | So don't use it to practice your listening. | 所以别用它来练习听 |
| 38 | Just use it | 随便用 |
| 39 | to practice English in general or like you know see how native speakers really talk because I put | 来练习英语 或像你知道 当地人怎么说话 因为我说 |
| 40 | subtitles. | 字幕组。 |
| 41 | I went through the video and wrote the subtitles. | 我翻过录像,写了字幕 |
| 42 | I edited all the subtitles so you know | 我编辑了所有的字幕,所以你知道 |
| 43 | that they are accurate. | 他们是准确的。 |
| 44 | You can read along with the subtitles all right. | 你可以随字幕一起看 |
| 45 | Don't feel like you need | 不要觉得你需要 |
| 46 | to be able to understand just off listening. | 能够理解 刚刚关闭听。 |
| 47 | You can read it and that's what native speakers do | 你可以读它,这就是讲母语的 |
| 48 | when the quality is not very good anyways but you can still see and hear generally what she's saying | 不过你还是能看到她所说的 |
| 49 | for the most part even though it's not the best quality. | 大部分虽然不是最好的品质 |
| 50 | If you've been watching this channel for | 如果你一直在看这个频道 |
| 51 | a while you might know that I have already talked about my family history, some of my childhood story, | 一会儿你可能知道 我已经谈过我的家族历史 和我的童年故事 |
| 52 | my parents, my mom, my dad and you might know that I didn't have the best relationship with my mom | 我的父母,我的母亲, 我爸爸和你也许知道 我和我妈妈的关系不是最好的 |
| 53 | especially in the years leading up to her death and so when I watch this video of her talking | 特别是在她死前的几年里 所以当我看她说话的录像时 |
| 54 | there are moments where even today I'm rolling my eyes like you know she just didn't get certain | 有些时候,即使在今天,我也会转动我的眼睛 就像你知道她只是没有得到确定 |
| 55 | things and she did her best. | 她尽了最大的努力 |
| 56 | I'm able to recognize that she did her best and she absolutely loved me | 我能认出她尽了最大的努力 她绝对爱我 |
| 57 | even if her best wasn't up to my standards you know because I believe that I am more conscious | 即使她最好不达我的标准... ...你知道,因为我相信我更清醒 |
| 58 | about certain things than my mom was and like I've said in previous videos my mom had a lot | 关于某些事情,比我妈妈是, 就像我在之前的视频里说过的 我妈妈有很多 |
| 59 | of emotional and mental issues. | 情感和精神问题 |
| 60 | She carried a lot of trauma and things with her. | 她带着很多创伤和东西 |
| 61 | Life was not easy | 生活并不轻松 |
| 62 | for my mom. | 为了我妈妈 |
| 63 | She struggled every day with her emotions and her situations that she put herself | 她每天都在挣扎着 情绪和处境 她把自己 |
| 64 | in and just dealing with a lot of things. | 处理很多事情 |
| 65 | My mom had a lot of stress. | 我妈妈压力很大 |
| 66 | She had a lot of anger. | 她非常愤怒 |
| 67 | As I got older I was a difficult child because I am a very intellectual type and I like to challenge | 当我长大了,我是一个困难的孩子 因为我是一个非常聪明的人 我喜欢挑战 |
| 68 | her and I like to question everything that she says and does and I had an answer for everything | 她和我喜欢质疑她所说的一切 我对一切都有答案 |
| 69 | and I had a question for everything and you know and that drove my mom crazy and that was really | 我有一个问题 关于一切,你知道, 这驱使我妈妈疯了,这是真的 |
| 70 | hard for her. | 对她来说很难 |
| 71 | My mom was very much you know because I said so and I was like that's not a | 我妈妈非常清楚,因为我这么说,我就像不是一个 |
| 72 | good enough reason but regardless I know that she loved me and I know that she did her best. | 理由充分,但无论我知道她爱我 我知道她尽力了 |
| 73 | You don't need to remind me of that in the comments because I'm already aware. | 你不必在评论中提醒我 因为我已经知道了 |
| 74 | I just ask | 我只是问 |
| 75 | that you please be respectful so you know if you're going to comment something about my mom | 请你尊重我,这样你就知道 如果你要评论我妈妈的话 |
| 76 | please say something nice or respectful about her or nothing at all because it is my mom. | 请对她说点好话 或尊重她 或根本不是 因为那是我妈妈 |
| 77 | Let's let's have some respect even though I sometimes talk about issues that I had with | 尽管我有时会谈论我曾经遇到的问题 |
| 78 | her on this channel but you know that doesn't mean that you can criticize her for that okay. | 她在这个频道,但你知道 这并不意味着 你可以批评她,好吗。 |
| 79 | I can you can't all right you got it okay so I think this video is very interesting it's it's | 你不可能没事的 所以我觉得这段视频很有趣 |
| 80 | very emotional just to let you know she tears up she she starts crying a few times so just be | 非常情绪化 让你知道她哭了 她开始哭几次 |
| 81 | prepared for that but I think it's very interesting to see the way that my mom talks because she talks | 已经做好了准备 但我觉得看到我妈妈说话的方式 很有趣 因为她说话 |
| 82 | very much like me. | 非常喜欢我 |
| 83 | In this video you might be able to see where I get my way of talking from. | 在这段录像里,你也许能看到 我从哪里得到我说话的方式。 |
| 84 | Now I edit my videos a lot but the way that I normally talk is with a lot of filler words | 现在,我经常编辑我的视频 但通常我说话的方式 是用很多填充词 |
| 85 | a lot of pauses and hesitation like I'm thinking while I'm speaking and I will start a sentence | 我说话的时候 总是犹豫不决 我会开一句 |
| 86 | and then start saying something else and start saying you know like I'm constantly speaking in | 然后开始说别的事 开始说你知道 就像我不停地说话 |
| 87 | these broken fragmented sentences. | 这些破碎的句子 |
| 88 | I thought that I did this very badly but then I watched | 我以为我这样做非常糟糕 但我看着 |
| 89 | the video of my mom and I'm like oh she's worse than me like this is where I get it from. | 我妈妈和我的视频 就像哦,她比我更糟糕 像这样,是我从那里得到的。 |
| 90 | иcm | |
| 91 | my mom are not the best speakers we have a lot of like good good ideas good thoughts and you know | 我妈妈不是最好的演说家 我们有很多像好想法 好想法,你知道的 |
| 92 | a lot of smart things going on up here but it doesn't come out so easily and both my mom and | 有很多聪明的事情在这里进行 但不会那么容易出来 我妈妈和 |
| 93 | and I were good at writing but when we have to speak in the moment and get the thoughts out | 我善于写作,但当我们不得不在此刻说话,把想法拿出来 |
| 94 | in the moment it can be it can be hard for us so you might be able to see like a similar speech | 在那一刻,它可能 对我们来说是很难的 这样你可能可以看到类似的讲话 |
| 95 | pattern comparing my mom to me so okay enough talking thanks for listening to the introduction | 把我妈妈和我比起来 说得够清楚了 感谢大家收听我的介绍 |
| 96 | and here is the video. | 这是录像 |
| 97 | I have been wanting to create this video for you and I wanted to create | 我一直想为你创作这段视频 我想为你创作 |
| 98 | one for your brother for you to have as a keepsake even though I've rehearsed this even though I | 一个给你弟弟,给你做个纪念品 尽管我已经排练过这个 尽管我 |
| 99 | practice I'd like to say to you I mean there's lots of things that I say to you every day this | 练习,我想说,我的意思是,有很多事情 我每天对你说 |
| 100 | can be emotional for me and and sometimes you know as humans we get emotional and if I get that way | 对我有感情,有时你知道 作为人类,我们得到情感 如果我得到这样 |
| 101 | during the video it's just because this is a kind of an awkward funny thing for me too. | 在视频中,它只是因为这是 一种尴尬的滑稽的事情 我也。 |
| 102 | I want you to have the opportunity to see me physically speaking to you because you know even | 我希望你有机会看到我和你说话 因为你甚至知道 |
| 103 | though I believe that we're not just physical beings we're also spiritual beings I will always | 虽然我相信我们不仅仅是物理生命... ...我们也是精神生命... |
| 104 | be spiritually in your life I believe if I even if I wasn't here on earth say something happened | 在你的生命中,精神上,我相信 如果我不在这里,在地球上说一些事情发生 |
| 105 | to me and I was not here but I just want you to know that I feel like I want you to have this | 对我而言,我当时不在这里 但我只想让你知道 我觉得我想你拥有这个 |
| 106 | opportunity to be able to look at me and see me speaking to you in this way you know I've been | 有机会看着我 看到我以这种方式跟你说话 你知道我一直 |
| 107 | dealing with breast cancer and it's been ups and downs and you know since my diagnosis and I've | 和乳腺癌 并且它一直在上升和下降 你知道,自从我的诊断和我 |
| 108 | been trying to keep you informed it's hard because right now you're 13 years old and when I was | 一直试图让你知道 这很难 因为现在你13岁 当我是 |
| 109 | you were you know even two years younger and it's hard because I know you your friends your | 你年轻了两岁 很难过 因为我认识你你的朋友 |
| 110 | friendship school and all of the daily you know your sports and everything is such a such an | 友谊学校,所有你熟悉的日常 运动和一切是如此 |
| 111 | integral part of your life right now and I know from having been 13 parents are not really the | 你生命中不可分割的一部分 现在 我知道从13岁起 |
| 112 | most important thing right now and probably won't be for several more years but this is my gift to | 现在最重要的事情 可能再过几年也不会了 但这是我的礼物 |
| 113 | this is my as your mother and I apologize if my eye looks a little funny but mom just had radiation | 这是我作为你的母亲,我道歉 如果我的眼睛看起来有点好笑,但妈妈只是有辐射 |
| 114 | and I'm trying to focus with one eye I'm not going to put my pirate patch on because I would | 我试着只用一只眼睛集中注意力 我不会把我的海盗补丁穿上 因为我会 |
| 115 | be a little silly and I don't want to play dress up for Halloween but basically I I know that there's | 有点傻 我不想在万圣节打扮 但我基本上知道 |
| 116 | been videos made for you know parents have made videos for children if you know anything might | 被制作的视频你知道,父母 已经做了视频的孩子 如果你知道什么可能 |
| 117 | happen to them or they would just like to make a video just to have and I've seen some of the | 碰巧他们或者他们只是想 做一个视频只是拥有 我见过一些 |
| 118 | to create this video for you is to give you a sense that I there are many things that I would | 为你制作这段视频 是给你一种感觉 我有很多事情想做 |
| 119 | like to say and there are many things that I would like to wish for you as you venture through life | 喜欢说,有很多事情我想 为你,当你冒险 一生 |
| 120 | that I'm you know if for some reason something happens I'm not able to say those words or do | 你知道,如果因为某种原因发生一些事情... ...我无法说那些话或做 |
| 121 | that I don't think that I would cover everything that I would think of every detail I don't expect | 我不认为我会 覆盖一切,我会想到 每一个我不期望的细节 |
| 122 | to do that but I I don't expect to be my long-term goals are to be at major events in your life major | 但我不想成为我的长期目标 是在你生活中的重大事件 |
| 123 | landmark events such as joyous things that you're going to experience that you haven't even got to | 划时代的事件,例如你将要经历的 快乐的事情,你甚至没有 |
| 124 | yet your graduation from high school a prom maybe going to a prom with a boy haha I know that it's | 不过你高中毕业了 舞会也许要去舞会 和一个男孩哈哈 我知道这是 |
| 125 | not something that you think about but you know those are things that I think about as mom um | 不是你想的,但你知道这些东西 我以妈妈的身分思考 |
| 126 | possibly a wedding we don't know you know I mean you never know I know you talk about | 可能是婚礼,我们不知道 你知道,我的意思是 你永远不知道 我知道你在谈论 |
| 127 | different things and you have lots of ideas but you're 13 so you might change your mind a new job | 你有很多想法 但你才13岁 这样你就可以改变主意 做个新工作 |
| 128 | going to college those are going to be major things that happen to you but they're also going | 上大学是大事 发生在你身上,但他们也要去 |
| 129 | to happen to me because as your parent I'm going to experience those on an emotional level um since | 发生在我身上,因为 作为你的父母,我会 体验这些在情感层面,嗯,从那时起 |
| 130 | I gave birth to you and I've been a part of your life and I've been raising you and on all of that | 我生了你,我一直是你生命的一部分 我养育你,所有这一切 |
| 131 | if for some reason I am not able to physically be at those events um those are my long-term goals | 如果因为某种原因我不能参加那些活动... 这些是我的长期目标 |
| 132 | and I have every intention of being then I hope that this video can give you the opportunity to | 我希望这段录像能让你有机会 |
| 133 | just hear what I wish for you without having to be right there in the moment I'm not going to | 只要听到我对你的愿望 不必在此刻在场 |
| 134 | go through details and try to just be there um because you know you life changes and what I | 仔细研究一下 试着在那里 因为你知道生活会改变 |
| 135 | wish for you now may not be what I wish for you that but it but in general I would like to there | 现在对你的希望也许不是我想要的 但总的来讲,我想去 |
| 136 | are certain things that I know feel um I'm going to go back to your birth because this is where it | и笵и谋眔 и璶ネlnよ 硂碞琌иよ |
| 137 | all started my relationship with you started when I discovered I had life when I found out that I was | 开始我和你们的关系 当我发现我有生活 当我发现我是 |
| 138 | pregnant with you and I want to even though I've talked to you and you've asked me questions on | 怀孕了,我想 即使我已经和你谈过了 你问我的问题 |
| 139 | the bed and we've chatted about stuff I really want to kind of go through that with you to lead | 床,我们聊过一些事情 我真的很想和你一起经历 |
| 140 | to the place where you know the next segment of this video will be sort of just you know going | 你知道这段视频的下一段 将会是那种你知道去的地方 |
| 141 | through the journey of your life um but I want to start back at your birth 13 years ago from | 历经你一生的旅程 但我想从你出生开始 13年前 |
| 142 | September um I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl I knew even though I was not a married person um | 九月,我生了一个美丽的女婴,我认识,虽然我不是已婚的人 |
| 143 | I knew I always you just know growing up you just know whether it be I don't know if I was | 我知道,我总是你只是知道 长大了,你只是知道 是不是,我不知道,如果我是 |
| 144 | middle school high school I don't know if it was when I was a child I just knew I would always have | 中学,我不知道,如果它是 当我还是个孩子,我知道我会永远 |
| 145 | children I always wanted children I chose a profession around children to be a teacher | 儿童 我一直想要孩子 我选择一个职业 围绕孩子做老师 |
| 146 | and I have that passion to to educate and be and help children in that capacity and so that was | 我热衷于教育、成为和帮助儿童 |
| 147 | always with me and I always knew that that's what I wanted to do and I went through so much as a | 总是和我在一起,我一直知道,这就是我想做的, 我经历了这么多作为一个 |
| 148 | child myself I felt like I really just wanted to it was my mission and goal to make sure that | 孩子,我觉得我只是想... ...我的使命和目标就是确保... |
| 149 | had in all fairness the benefit of experiencing happiness and quality in their childhood as best | 公平地说,在他们的童年中 享受幸福和品质的好处 |
| 150 | as can now when I found out that I had life inside me I was overjoyed I mean I was just | 当我发现我内心有生命的时候 我太高兴了,我的意思是 |
| 151 | thrilled I mean it may have been a surprise at first but I talked to you when you were in the | 很高兴,我的意思是,这可能是一个惊喜 一开始,但我和你说话 当你在 |
| 152 | womb I I even bought books because I knew my you know my education that you know this was going to | 子宫 我甚至买了书 因为我知道我 你知道我的教育 |
| 153 | be beneficial I read to you I ate well I did everything that I possibly could to make sure | 我读给你听,我吃得很好 我尽力确保 |
| 154 | that you had a good start to life and I think that you know and that was just such it was a | 你有一个好的开始 生活,我认为你知道, 就是这样,这是一个 |
| 155 | time of like anticipation and I I did have some nervous feelings naturally I was going to be a | 期待的时光 我确实有些紧张的感受 我自然会成为一个 |
| 156 | mom but I just always had this confidence that I was destined to be a mother and you were somehow | 妈妈,但我一直有信心 我注定要当母亲 而你却不知怎的 |
| 157 | I had this instinct motherly instinct or whatever you want to want to call it that you are first of | 我有这种本能 母亲的本能 或任何你想称之为 你是第一 |
| 158 | all I knew you were a girl before I had the scans I don't know how but I did and I was correct in | 我只知道你是个女孩 之前,我得到了扫描 我不知道如何 但我做到了,我是正确的 |
| 159 | thinking that but I I also had this feeling that you were a strong individual don't ask me how I | 我想,但我也有这种感觉 你是一个坚强的个人 不要问我如何 |
| 160 | just had this feeling that you were going to be a strong willed a strong girl um maybe because of | 只是有种感觉,你会成为一个坚强的意志 一个坚强的女孩,也许因为 |
| 161 | I just had a feeling that you were going to be and we were going to be okay | и琌谋眔穦琌 и穦癬ㄓ |
| 162 | and um you know your dad when he learned about the pregnancy and things because I | 嗯,你知道你爸爸 当他得知怀孕和事情 因为我 |
| 163 | mentally don't think that I mean I'm not going to speak for him I don't think he was quite | 精神上不要认为我的意思是 我不会为他说话 我不认为他是相当 |
| 164 | ready at first but I but I was 100 ready and willing so um I didn't have all the answers | 一开始已经准备好了,但我已经准备好了100个了 所以,嗯,我没有所有的答案 |
| 165 | I didn't have all the results of how you know my living arrangements how things would pan out | 我没有得到所有的结果 你怎么知道我的生活安排 如何事情会平息 |
| 166 | financially what's going on but I did have a job I had a teaching job and I was I was just | 经济上发生了什么 但我确实有一份工作 我有一份教学工作 我只是 |
| 167 | you know and my doctor wished me all the luck and had confidence in me and so I just went on my way | 你知道,我的医生 祝愿我所有的运气 并对我有信心 所以我只是走我的路 |
| 168 | with all of that as you developed inside me and then you know your birth you know I knew I had a | 你在我的内心深处发展了这么多 然后你知道你的出生 |
| 169 | healthy pregnancy it was it was a great pregnancy and I felt good um and then it came to be that | 健康怀孕,这是一次伟大的怀孕, 我觉得很好 嗯,然后它开始 |
| 170 | you were ready to be born and you weren't gonna wait you you know it was a it was my first | 你准备好要出生了 不想等 你知道这是第一次 |
| 171 | pregnancy so it was a long you know 24 hours I I had started my labor and then I you know they | 怀孕很长,你知道我24小时 开始我的工作,然后你知道他们 |
| 172 | they did have to break my water and I went in and so it was a long process but it was well worth | 他们确实打破了我的水,我进去了 所以这是一个漫长的过程,但它是值得的 |
| 173 | that I had a my college roommate Mary with me and you know your dad popped in and then of course | 我有一个大学室友玛丽和我在一起 你知道你爸爸来了 当然了 |
| 174 | granny came in and um she wasn't invited but she came anyway um I I just had a good feeling about | 奶奶进来了,嗯... ...她没有被邀请... ...但是她来了... |
| 175 | the whole thing and I just knew that we you know things were going to be great um you were born in | 这一切,我只知道,我们 你知道事情会是伟大的,嗯,你出生在 |
| 176 | the dark under a spotlight because I was just so exhausted from a whole day of just you know I | 黑暗在聚光灯下 因为我从一天到晚都精疲力竭 |
| 177 | thought you were ready to come they said you were but it just took a while so we're both stubborn | 还以为你已经准备好过来了 他们说你已经来了 但只是花了一阵子 |
| 178 | and so when you came finally under that spotlight Dr. Ziegler handed you to me and I just watching | 所以当你终于在聚光灯下 齐格勒博士把你交给我 我只是看着 |
| 179 | you I just knew all this is you know I could feel your strength I could feel your um just how how | 我只是知道这一切 你知道 我能感觉到你的力量 我能感觉到你的... |
| 180 | strong and vibrant and healthy you were as a baby and I knew you know I didn't have any worries | 强壮,充满活力,健康 你作为一个婴儿,我知道 你知道我没有任何担心 |
| 181 | there was no you weren't weak there was nothing wrong all you you checked up great and um so all | 没有,你不是弱者 没有错 你检查了所有的东西 |
| 182 | of that was great um but from that time from that moment and you know and I brought you home and of | 但从那时起 我带你回家 |
| 183 | it wasn't easy you had some stomach issues and you were cocky and I had to kind of like troubleshoot | 你有点胃部问题,你很自大,我不得不像找麻烦一样 |
| 184 | with the um the formulas and I know you get upset with me and wonder why I didn't nurse you and | 和嗯,配方 我知道你对我很生气 并想知道为什么我没有 照顾你和 |
| 185 | things like that and if I could have gone back there were some changes I would have made we are | 那样的事情 如果我能回去的话 会有改变的 |
| 186 | not perfect I I made that decision based on my work and being a single mom it wasn't something | 不完美,我根据我的工作做了决定 作为一个单身妈妈,这不是什么 |
| 187 | that I would have made a couple years later but life happens that way I was a formula fed baby I | 几年后我本可以做到的 但生活发生了,我是一个配方奶胎 |
| 188 | did um move forward and when you got past your colleague and all that I watched you develop into | 我看着你发展成 |
| 189 | a little girl and from the time you were a baby I just all I could do is just stare at you of | 一个小女孩 从你小的时候起 我只能盯着你 |
| 190 | course you were my first child and I think that had to do with it but I just found myself in awe | 当然,你是我的第一个孩子 我认为这与它有关 但我刚刚发现自己 敬畏 |
| 191 | um I had taken developmental psych classes I had studied babies I loved babies I I worked with | 嗯,我参加了发育心理课程 我学习了婴儿 我爱我的婴儿,我工作在一起 |
| 192 | I was a teacher but your development in learning and growing it just just amazed me and that was | 我是老师 但你在学习和成长方面的发展 只是让我惊讶,那就是 |
| 193 | I mean that whoever experienced that as a mom someday even if you don't you know you choose | 我的意思是,无论谁经历 作为母亲的某一天 即使你不知道 你选择 |
| 194 | a different path and you don't have children that is fine um but hopefully you feel some of that joy | 不同的路,你没有孩子 这是好的,嗯,但希望你感到一些快乐 |
| 195 | that that just it just that I felt and probably not all parents feel it but I did and I do think | 我只是觉得 可能不是所有父母都感觉到了 但我确实觉得 |
| 196 | there are a lot that do and it's just your heart is bursting with how proud you are and I watched | 有很多事情要做,只是你的心脏 被你多么骄傲,我看着 |
| 197 | you just all I could say is that it was like you were a sponge you you looked at me with eyes that | 我只能说你就像一只海绵 你看着我的眼睛 |
| 198 | were knowing all knowing you were aware of your surroundings I knew that this is this is a bright | 知道你知道周围的环境 我知道这是个光明 |
| 199 | child who is just taking in her world left and right and she's not going to stop until she gets | 孩子,她只是 进入她的世界 左右,她不会停止 直到她得到 |
| 200 | all the information she needs and the important thing is to keep doing them and we do that most | 她需要的所有信息 最重要的是继续做 我们做的最多 |
| 201 | of our lives but I just want I want you to know that I just found myself in awe of you and um you | 但我只想让你知道 我刚刚发现我对你的敬畏 |
| 202 | know I of course did my my nightly books with you and I would read to you and you know you had your | 我当然会跟你做我的夜书 我会读给你听 你知道你有你的 |
| 203 | little uh good night moon book that I used to read to you and of course brown bear and all those | 我曾经读给你听的夜月小书 当然还有棕熊和那些 |
| 204 | beginner books but I had good night moon which the verse changed and it was a book that wasn't | 初学者的书,但我有一个美好的夜晚月亮 诗句改变了,它是一个书 不是 |
| 205 | really repetitive so but it it did but it didn't and you just it was unbelievable how quickly you | 真的很重复,但是它做到了,但它没有... ...你只是令人难以置信的你有多快 |
| 206 | were able to just learn the words and the language developed from you um and in the methods in which | 能够从你那里学到语言和语言 以及用什么方法 |
| 207 | you you picked up the book on your own and I knew I had worked with you and I knew that I had kept | 你独自拿起那本书 我知道我曾与你合作 我知道我一直保持 |
| 208 | that that um going with you and I felt felt very good about that but it was just it was all | 和你说的,我感觉很好... ...只是... |
| 209 | experimental it was just so cool because I was experimenting as a mom I had watched children's | 实验是太酷了 因为我在做实验 作为母亲,我看孩子的 |
| 210 | minds develop in classrooms but I never ever experienced how early it can start how quickly | 思想在课堂上发展 但我从来没有经历过 有多早可以开始多快 |
| 211 | it can happen if given the opportunity and the time to do it and you just amazed me how quickly | 如果有机会和时间去做 你让我惊讶得很快 |
| 212 | you picked up a language and how you just took to books and I was just so pleased with it um and | 你拿起一种语言,你是如何 刚拿到书,我太高兴了,嗯, |
| 213 | you started to say words and you were so articulate at a very young age um so all of that just | 你开始说,你是如此清晰 在一个很小的年龄... ... |
| 214 | intrigued me and I found myself just staring at you with your bottle between your lips at night | 好奇我,我发现自己只是 盯着你与你的瓶子 在你的嘴唇之间,晚上 |
| 215 | rocking you and then laying you down and then I'd leave the room and then you know a commercial would | 摇动你 然后放下你 然后我就离开房间 然后你知道一个广告会 |
| 216 | come on television I'd go in and I would just stare at you and watch you sleep I mean I'm sure | 上电视吧,我会进去 看着你睡觉,我确定 |
| 217 | there are lots of moms who do that but I but I just really want you to know that that's where I | 有很多妈妈这样做,但我... ...但我真的希望你知道,这就是我。 |
| 218 | was at that's where I where I felt I was just so content in being such an important part of your | 在那里,我感觉我是如此满足 成为你如此重要的一部分 |
| 219 | life at that moment and you were very loved you very loved you had an aunt who just adored you | 那一刻的生活,你非常的爱 你非常的爱 你有一个姨妈 谁刚刚喜欢你 |
| 220 | you know she wasn't she didn't have her children yet she wasn't in that motive but she just you | 你知道她不是没有孩子 但她不是那种动机 而是你 |
| 221 | know had gifts for you all the time she just you could tell the way she spoke and the way she came | 知道她有礼物给你 所有的时间,她只是你能 说出她说话的方式和来的方式 |
| 222 | over it was just she was just so proud of you and and happy and to see you and and listen | 她只是为你感到骄傲 很高兴见到你 听 |
| 223 | to me about stories about you things that you were doing and developing and growing and she | 对我讲故事 关于你的事情 你正在做, 发展和成长,她 |
| 224 | learned I think a lot from me before and then if that helped her later I think she had her own | 我之前从我这里想了很多 如果后来能帮到她的话 我觉得她有自己的 |
| 225 | children um but like a lot of pride in that you know and you you know your dad is a different | 孩子们,但喜欢很多的骄傲 你知道,你知道,你知道 你爸爸是一个不同的 |
| 226 | person we didn't end up together and and that was a good thing but that was we just you know | 人,我们没有最终在一起 这是一件好事, 但我们只是你知道 |
| 227 | things have been involved that way but I don't think you know his love for you came and it was | 事情一直被卷入,但我想你不知道 他爱你来了,这是 |
| 228 | a whole different you know I mean it it was there and it was unconditional and he felt it too in his | 完全不一样,你知道我的意思是 它在那里, 它是无条件的,他感觉 |
| 229 | way and I could see that he did um but I you know for me it was just this whole other world of just | 我可以看到他这样做了... ...但你知道,对我来说... ...只是... |
| 230 | like just immersed in everything you did everything growing developing every um now later on as you | 就像沉浸在每件事物中一样 你所做的每件事物 正在成长 |
| 231 | about where you go to preschool and we we decided all of those things um and you were a sweet girl | 关于你上学前班的事 我们决定了所有这些事... ...嗯,你是一个可爱的女孩 |
| 232 | and you and you were very a good girl and you you listened and you know I I was blessed I really | 你和你是一个很好的女孩 你听了,你知道我被祝福 我真的 |
| 233 | didn't have a lot of it didn't have to make a lot of effort with you you just were very very good | 没有太多的它 不必做很多努力与你 只是你很好 |
| 234 | and and fairly easy um but I have to say you know um and you were flexible and people were just like | 和相当容易,嗯,但我不得不说 你知道,嗯,你很灵活, 人们就像 |
| 235 | wow you know she can do this do that and they were amazed by you the very first babysitter was amazed | 哇,你知道她能做到这一点, 他们惊讶于你, 最开始的保姆是惊讶 |
| 236 | by the things you could do um and you know and this isn't just mom speaking this is really how | 事情你可以做,嗯,你知道 这不只是妈妈说话 这是真正的如何 |
| 237 | I've observed you over the years as you've grown now as you've developed and grown I noticed that | 这些年来,我一直观察着你... ...随着你的成长... ...随着你的成长... |
| 238 | characteristics of you and and things that have come out um are human traits you know I start to | 你的特点和已经出来的东西 嗯是人类的特质 你知道我开始 |
| 239 | start to see other aspects of you as as a young girl and and how you are taking the world in and | 开始看到你的其他方面 作为一个年轻女孩 和你如何对待世界 |
| 240 | how you responded to things and I could see that you had a little perfectionism in you where you | 你对事情的反应 我看得出来 你有一个小完美主义 |
| 241 | wanted things to be just right you felt that was your comfort zone you wanted things to be right | 想要事情的正确,你觉得那是你的舒适地带 你希望事情的正确 |
| 242 | and you admit that today that that's that's how things are for you and I I see that you still have | 而你承认,今天,这是 事情如何为你 我看你仍然有 |
| 243 | that um quality about you and we talked about how that can be a good thing and that can be a bad | 关于你的质量,我们谈论 如何可以是一个好的事情, 这可能是坏 |
| 244 | thing but mostly it's been a good thing for you to assert you well in your endeavors and it's made | 但多半是件好事 让你在自己的事业中表现得更好 |
| 245 | you a successful uh girl and and it's it's made you noticed by your teachers and recognized and | 你是一个成功的,呃女孩, 这是它让你注意到 你的老师和承认, |
| 246 | I think that it's been it's been a good thing for you um sometimes you were hard on yourself you | 我觉得这对你来说是件好事 有时候你对自己很苛刻 |
| 247 | know gotta learn how to do that cartwheel gotta learn how to do that that hula hoop gotta learn | 要学会如何做那个车轮 要学会如何做那个呼拉浩要学会 |
| 248 | how to do that and you were so cute trying to learn it and of course you know being your mom | 如何做到这一点,你是如此可爱 努力学习它,当然你知道 作为你的妈妈 |
| 249 | and I had it I had to share you for a couple years with with Nicole who loves you so much and I am so | 我得到了它,我不得不分享你 与妮可几年 谁爱你这么多,我是如此 |
| 250 | thankful for that family that had just I felt very pleased with myself that I was able to step | 感谢那家人,我对自己感到非常满意,因为我能够步入 |
| 251 | outside the box and I think maybe the teacher in me allowed that to happen I knew how important it | 在盒子外,我想也许我的老师 允许这种情况发生 我知道有多重要 |
| 252 | was for you to have those relationships and I when I knew that they were healthy and good I stepped | 就是让你有这些关系 当我知道他们是健康的好,我踩了 |
| 253 | back and I allowed you to have them if I didn't think they were that may have been a whole | 我允许你拥有他们 如果我不认为他们是 可能是整个 |
| 254 | different story um probably not one that I would have would have liked to have remembered or tell | 不同的故事,嗯... 可能不是一个我本想 记得或告诉 |
| 255 | I'm so glad it worked out the way it did we got very lucky um I don't think your dad knew | и蔼砍挡 и┋笲 и谋眔ぃ笵 |
| 256 | you know knew at the time how good that that family was to you and and how it would pan out | 你知道当时那个家庭对你有多好 以及会怎样发展 |
| 257 | in the end but I think that he probably realizes it now it's just very it was a very good connection | 但最后我觉得他可能意识到了 这是一种非常好的联系 |
| 258 | very good thing um I kept like a teacher I kept that communication going openly with her we talked | 非常好,嗯,我像老师一样 一直跟她公开交流,我们谈过 |
| 259 | younger than me but we we talked and it didn't matter it was women woman to woman I wanted so | 比我年轻,但我们谈了, 无关紧要的是女人对女人 我想要这样 |
| 260 | much for you that it really didn't matter to me how I got it if it meant communicating with somebody | 对你来说,这真的不重要 我怎么得到它,如果它意味着与某人沟通 |
| 261 | who who loved you like a mother and cared that much to spend an hour and a half on the telephone | 谁爱你 像一个母亲,关心这么多 花一个半小时的电话 |
| 262 | I was willing to do it you know it meant that much to me so over the years I watched you grow | 我愿意这么做 你知道这对我很重要 所以我看着你长大了 |
| 263 | and of course you know when Darren and I got married and you were such a cute little flower | 你当然知道,当达伦和我结婚 你是一个可爱的小花 |
| 264 | girl at my wedding and want me down the aisle and I was so proud to have you next to me I mean | 女孩在我的婚礼上 想要我走下过道 我非常自豪 有你旁边我,我的意思是 |
| 265 | that's really ultimately what I wanted you know I mean that relationship with with you know and | 这才是我最终想要的... ...你知道我的意思... ... |
| 266 | that that's something that you know I mean um I just wanted to nurture and grow and Darren was | 那是你所知道的 我的意思是 我只是想养育和成长 达伦是 |
| 267 | natural with you and had nieces and nephews and he just thought you were adorable and just really | 自然与你,有侄女和侄子 他只是觉得你很可爱,只是真的 |
| 268 | took you very naturally and for me that felt good that felt very good because there was no | 把你自然地带走了 对我来说 感觉很好 感觉非常好 因为没有 |
| 269 | stiffness about it there was no it was just it just all just flowed and that was also important | 僵硬地说,没有,它只是 它只是所有只是流畅, 这也很重要 |
| 270 | to me as a mom so you know over the years I've you know I just really wanted I just always had | 对我做妈妈 这样你知道这些年来... ...我只是想... |
| 271 | this confidence that you were so strong that you could just you could handle things as they | 这种自信,你是如此坚强,你可以 只是你可以处理的事情,因为他们 |
| 272 | happened and and you could you know a lot of times you know you were part of like the adults | 发生了,你可以知道很多次 你知道你像成年人一样 |
| 273 | around you because you know even before you had your little brother on the scene you know you you | 在你身边 因为你在你的小弟弟出现之前就已经知道了 你认识你 |
| 274 | kind of were um you just had this I always knew you had this little like older intuition about | 那种嗯,你刚刚有这个... ...我一直知道你有这个小 像更古老的直觉 关于 |
| 275 | you like a like an old soul like you just you had these these thoughts and these um you know right | 你就像一个像你一样的老灵魂 只是你有这些想法 和这些嗯 你知道正确的 |
| 276 | now at your age now I'm watching those kind of like transition like I'm starting to see more | 现在在你这个年纪 我看着这种转变 就像我开始看到更多 |
| 277 | for the actual age that you are because that 13 year old age is tricky it's just a very complex | 就你的实际年龄来说 因为13岁很棘手 只是非常复杂 |
| 278 | complicated age it's a transitioning time and um but but like I said you know as you developed | 复杂的年龄,这是一个过渡 时间和嗯,但就像我说,你知道 随着你的发展 |
| 279 | and things I just was so proud of you I um I want you to know okay that with all my love | 我以你为荣 我想告诉你 |
| 280 | and with all my dedication with all of my I mean all these things just were naturally poured from | 我全心全意的奉献着... ...所有这一切... |
| 281 | my heart and instinctively I was your mom and I wasn't going anywhere unfortunately you know | 我的心和本能地,我是你妈妈 我不会去任何地方 很不幸你知道 |
| 282 | we still as humans we bring things to table that we don't always intend to and there were moments | 我们仍然作为人类,我们带 的东西,我们并不总是打算和 有时刻 |
| 283 | as your mom and I'd like to address those moments um without going into detail because I don't think | 作为你妈妈和我想谈谈那些时刻... ...嗯,不谈细节,因为我不认为 |
| 284 | it's necessary or relevant at this point but I do I do want you to know that my my innate kind of | 此时此刻是必要或相关的 但我确实想让你知道我的天生 |
| 285 | my my I don't even want to I don't want to say primitive but my kind of my behaviors from as a | 我什至不想说 原始 但我的类行为 从作为一个 |
| 286 | result of things I grew up with and things I worked I was exposed to as a child and sort of | 我从小就接触过的工作 |
| 287 | the real anger and I've talked to you about this before the real struggles that I went through at | 真正的愤怒,我和你谈过 之前,我经历了真正的斗争 |
| 288 | your age now was the worst of it but I went through a whole period of just resentment and anger | 你现在这个年纪是最糟的,但我经历了 整个时期的怨恨和愤怒 |
| 289 | and even as a young child anxiousness that was fair you know it was unfair for a child my age to | 即使是年幼的小孩的焦虑也是公平的 你知道对于我这个年纪的孩子来说是不公平的 |
| 290 | to have gone through what I had to go through um because I unfortunately grew up in an alcoholic | 经历了我不得不经历的... 因为我不幸在酒鬼中长大 |
| 291 | home and the dynamics of growing up in an alcoholic home are just I mean there's lots of books on the | 家和在酒鬼家长大的动态 只是我的意思是有很多书 |
| 292 | I do I want you to know that there are roles that we play in those families I mean no family is | 我想让你知道 我们扮演的角色 在那些家庭,我的意思是没有家庭 |
| 293 | perfect and we all have dysfunctional stuff that goes on but as your mom there were moments when | 完美,我们都有 功能失调的东西 继续,但作为你妈妈 有的时候 |
| 294 | you saw me in a place where I should not have been in front of you I should not have exposed you or | 你看见我在一个地方 我不应该在你面前 我不应该暴露你或 |
| 295 | lashed out or put myself into this all I can describe as childlike behavior because really | 我只能形容自己是孩子般的行为 因为真的 |
| 296 | that's what it does just goes right back to my childhood and it's behavior that's like primitive | 这就是它所做的只是回到我的童年 和它的行为就像原始 |
| 297 | it comes from me without control and even though I was there as your mom an adult I still have these | 它来自我,没有控制 即使我在那里 作为你妈妈一个成年人,我仍然有这些 |
| 298 | eros to it you may have seen it I may have lashed out and but then I retreated in absolute guilt | 你可能已经看到它了 我可能已经撕裂了,但后来我完全退缩了 |
| 299 | because I knew I know it was wrong I knew it was wrong if we could go back and like say our life | 因为我知道这是错的,我知道这是错的 如果我们可以回去 像说我们的生活 |
| 300 | was like a cookie dough and we could just go back just pluck out the bad chucks you know all the | 就像饼干一样,我们可以回去 刚刚拔出那些坏的Chucks 你知道所有的 |
| 301 | raisins or whatever I don't like raisins in my cookies but I could back and just take them out | 葡萄干或任何我不喜欢的 葡萄干在我的饼干 但我可以回来,只是取出来 |
| 302 | one by one and do so I would go back and do that it's not possible and unfortunately you know | 一个接一个地做,这样我就会回去 做那是不可能的,不幸的是你知道 |
| 303 | things happen and it does affect us and um and I'm a fool I know how it affects because growing up | 事情发生,它确实影响我们 我是一个傻瓜 我知道它如何影响 因为长大了 |
| 304 | in the home that I did and the behaviors I witnessed um and be exposed to I had to then | 在家里,我做了,我目睹的行为 嗯,被暴露在 我不得不到那时 |
| 305 | reflect back on those box later on and really look back my father on my mother and think in | 回头回想那些盒子 真实地回想我父亲对我母亲的感受 |
| 306 | terms of all right you know they did the best could did I do that at 13 no I didn't have the | 好吧,你知道他们做了最好的 我13岁的时候做了那些,我没有 |
| 307 | because I was still in anger mode um later on I did and it doesn't mean that I didn't look for | 因为我仍然处于愤怒状态... ...嗯后来我做了... ...这并不意味着我没有寻找 |
| 308 | counseling I still try to figure out why maybe I'm attached to certain things in my life or | 咨询我仍然试图 找出为什么我可能 依恋于我生命中的某些事情 |
| 309 | why I need certain things to do because I spent much of my 20s just you know I had you there | 为什么我需要做一些事情 因为我花了我的20多岁 只是你知道我有你在那里 |
| 310 | makes but I felt like life was just a falling before me I really didn't have sense of control | 但是,我觉得生活只是 跌倒在我面前 我真的没有控制感 |
| 311 | but you having you my life was like the grounding you were the anchor in my life not an unhealthy | 但你有我的生命 就像在地上扎根一样 你是我生命的锚 不是不健康的 |
| 312 | way depended on it was a way that it just it grounded me and me realize this is like our | 方法依赖它的方式 它只是它禁足了我 我意识到这就像我们的 |
| 313 | goal is this is your aim to do this is your focus right so it's called your focus | 目标是你的目标 这样做是你的重点,所以它叫做你的焦点 |
| 314 | unfortunately there are times when I know that focus you just get cloudy and I would just you | 可惜有时我知道 焦点你只是 变得模糊,我会只有你 |
| 315 | know you see me at a temper tant or gang rape in a bad way or say thing that we're not | 你知道你看到我在脾气暴躁 或轮奸的方式不好 或者说我们不是 |
| 316 | go back and take them up someday I can just um know that your heart will be able to | 改天回去拿吧 我只能知道你的心能 |
| 317 | point here on me as long as a human being and somehow understand it's hard when we're | 在这里指点我,只要作为一个人, 不知何故理解这很难 当我们是 |
| 318 | close to agent cycles we want able to get our parents want to be able to say that you understand | 接近代理循环 我们想让我们的父母 能够说,你明白 |
| 319 | and even as about times we have trouble struggles in because sometimes we feel cheated and um that's | 有时我们很难相处 因为有时候我们觉得被骗 |
| 320 | a whole other thing I know I talked to you about and I obviously I could talk more about you know | 另一件事我知道 我跟你谈过了 而且我显然可以多说一些 |
| 321 | as a girl you know when I look back at it all I was I was cheated of my relationship with that | 作为一个女孩,你知道 当我回头看它的一切 我被欺骗 我的关系与那 |
| 322 | and it's important to have a relationship with their fathers a healthy relationship so I'm very | 和他们的父亲保持一段健康的关系很重要 所以我非常 |
| 323 | grateful that I had I always talk about my grandpa my mom's dad because he was he was the only | 感谢我一直谈论我爷爷 我妈妈的爸爸 因为他是唯一一个 |
| 324 | male role model in my life that brought good things to the table and he was a stubborn guy | 男人的榜样 在我的生活 带来好的事物 摆在桌面上 他是一个顽固的家伙 |
| 325 | but he was he had a deep faith in God he had values and morals and beyond I mean he it just | 但他对上帝有很深的信仰 他有价值和道德 |
| 326 | you know I mean he raised I have a lot of admiration for him and I always talk about his life | 你知道我的意思是,他长大了 我对他非常钦佩 我总是谈论他的生活 |
| 327 | because he went through struggles and I just said no you just develop a respect for that | 因为他经历了挣扎 我只是说不 你只是培养尊重 |
| 328 | he worked hard he was a hard worker so there was no there was nothing about him that would ever | 他辛勤工作,他是个勤奋的工人 所以他没有任何东西会 |
| 329 | make me think that he didn't try hard enough or whatever I think that he used all of the skills | 让我觉得他不够努力 或我认为他用了所有技能 |
| 330 | available to him and he used them to his ultimate optimal best and I and I have nothing but | 他利用了最好的手段 我和他除了 |
| 331 | good to say about and even though I felt cheated by my father I you know I wrote my letter I was | 说得好,虽然我觉得被我父亲欺骗了 你知道,我写了信 |
| 332 | in college I went back and on my tongue when I felt ready I arranged it with him and I sat with | 大学的时候,我回去了,我说话的时候觉得准备好了 我和他安排好了,我坐在一起 |
| 333 | him and I let him know that he's no longer alive and I can no longer speak to him but there's no | 我告诉他他已经不在了 我不能再跟他说话了 |
| 334 | need to I have nothing that was it for me that that was finished that was business that you know | 需要我没有什么是 它对我来说,结束了,这是生意 你知道 |
| 335 | I more feel feel sad for him I feel bad that he was also cheated out of a relationship with his | 我更为他感到悲伤 我为他还被骗了 |
| 336 | two daughters that he could have had later on and he missed out of course on grandchildren all that | 两个女儿,他本来可以有 以后,他当然错过了孙子。 |
| 337 | you know but you your grandmother's around she's she's never left and I you know my relationship | 你知道,但你奶奶在她身边 她从来没有离开,我知道我的关系 |
| 338 | with my mom I've always told you it's you know I love my mother dearly my mother's always been | 我妈妈我一直告诉你... ...你知道我爱我的母亲... ... |
| 339 | there for me she's a rock but she's uh you know her and I have had a lot of history of ups and | 对我来说,她是一个石头,但她呃... 你知道她,我有很多历史 上升和 |
| 340 | downs and you know all of that and and I think a lot of why my mom you know being in that | 下来,你知道这一切, 我想了很多为什么我妈妈 你知道在那个 |
| 341 | relationship for as long as she did it doesn't make me hate her in any way I love my mother I | 只要她这么做,我就不会恨她 我爱我妈妈 |
| 342 | mean my mother again did what she did based on what she had available to her uh do I wish | 意思是,我的母亲再次做了她做的 根据她有 给她,呃,我希望 |
| 343 | she made some different choices yes do I feel cheated by her yes yes I do you know but I want | 她做了一些不同的选择 是的 我觉得被她欺骗了 是的 是的 是的 |
| 344 | you to know that even though I'm not perfect and I've I've been you know I've had my flaws as a mom | 你知道,虽然我并不完美,我曾经是 你知道,我有一个缺陷 作为一个母亲 |
| 345 | I I want you to know that my intentions and my intelligence and my understanding of the world | 我要你知道,我的意图,我的智慧和对世界的理解 |
| 346 | I feel is steps maybe even more above what my parents had so I know I know that I was even if | 我觉得我父母的脚步可能比现在还要高 所以我知道,即使我 |
| 347 | I may not have always I was very capable and very able and and mentally I was more on the scene I | 我可能并不总是 我非常有能力,非常有能力 和精神上我更在现场 |
| 348 | think with you mother to child than you can ever imagine I hope you get the sense of that someday | 想想你从母亲到孩子 你永远想象不到 我希望有一天你会明白 |
| 349 | or if you watch this video or if you even if you just just know that about me that I am I've always | 或者你看过这段视频 或者你就算只是知道我是 |
| 350 | had the most unconditional relationship and love for you and always will and I have so much respect | 与你有着最无条件的关系和爱 永远会 我非常尊敬你 |
| 351 | for you and I'm very very proud of you and I so look forward to being a part of so many more | 为了你 我为你感到非常骄傲 我期待着成为更多 |
| 352 | life that are going to be so important to you and me um but like I said you know I mean I'm | 对你我如此重要的生活... 但就像我说的... ...你知道我的意思是... |
| 353 | not going anywhere but the nature of this illness you know I try to keep you posted on my doctor's | 不是去任何地方,但这种病的本性 你知道我试图让你 在我的医生的 |
| 354 | appointments I try to keep you updated I just don't have all the answers and there may come | 约会时间我尽量告诉你最新消息... ...我只是没有全部的答案... |
| 355 | a day when I have to face a certain a situation where you know I have to make a decision that | 有一天,我不得不面对某种情况,你知道 我必须做出一个决定, |
| 356 | is the next phase of my life which is you know and I don't know when or if or what or what | 那是我生命的下一个阶段,你知道, 我不知道何时,是否,什么 |
| 357 | we don't know I mean none of us know but for right now it's important for me to to let you | 我们不知道我的意思是,没有人知道 但是现在,我必须让你 |
| 358 | know that no matter where you are you know what happens to you and what you know when you graduate | 不论你在哪里,你都知道你的命运 以及你毕业时所知道的 |
| 359 | when you make all these big transitions in your life I have so much confidence in you you can't | 当你做所有这些大转变 在你的生活中,我有这么多的信心 你无法 |
| 360 | even imagine I mean I just know that everything that you do is going to be successful and even | 想象一下 我只是知道 你所做的一切都会成功 甚至 |
| 361 | if it's not you will work it out because you've been working things out since you were that little | 如果不是的话,你会解决的 因为你从小就一直在工作 |
| 362 | baby in the corner picking up a book and reading the words or remembering the words and then just | 小宝贝在角落捡起一本书 读着这些话 或记住这些话 然后 |
| 363 | developing you in your language and just everything just everything that you've done | 用你的语言来培养你 以及你所做的一切 |
| 364 | I've watched you do and I see how you are about it and I just know that I've had confidence in you | 我看着你这样做,我看到你是如何 关于它,我只是知道,我已经对你有信心 |
| 365 | since you were in me in my womb and I just want you to know that I have I've always had that feeling | 既然你在我的子宫里 我只想告诉你 我一直有那种感觉 |
| 366 | I've learned something over the past couple of years my journey with cancer and my journey | 在过去几年里,我学到了一些东西 癌症的旅程和旅程 |
| 367 | in trying to really get in touch with my spiritual inner my soul is that this what you feel here is | 试图真正接触我的精神内心... ...我的灵魂... ...这就是你的感觉... |
| 368 | far more important than what's up here I mean sometimes our heads can mess with what we really | 远比上面的东西重要,我的意思是 有时我们的头可以惹 我们真正的东西 |
| 369 | feel here and I I've discovered that and I've seen that I I'm seeing it a lot and you know | 感觉在这里,我已经发现, 我看见它很多,你知道 |
| 370 | that's my take on on on things and I I'm not working right now I got done with work and I | 这就是我在事情上的责任 我现在不工作 我完成了工作 |
| 371 | and you know what in this time that I'm not working I I really really hope to solidify | 你知道在这个时候,我不工作 我真的希望巩固 |
| 372 | to really really solidify our relationship and in what better time than 13 years old | 真正巩固我们的关系 在比13岁更好的时间 |
| 373 | when you are just you know this is like I said that awkward age I remember gosh my 13 year old | 当你只是你知道,这就像我说过, 尴尬的年龄,我记得耶稣 我的13岁 |
| 374 | I mean you know what I did I was dealing with cancer and I mean I was a whole place but I | 我的意思是你知道我做了什么 我处理癌症 我的意思是我是一个整体的地方 但我 |
| 375 | but I was struggling with my parents I didn't know if they were together separated divorced | 但我和父母在挣扎 我不知道他们是否离婚了 |
| 376 | what was going to happen and I told you this before my life was topsy-turvy I mean I went | 接下来会发生什么 我之前就告诉过你了 我是说我去了 |
| 377 | to three different schools in the sixth grade I you know I I just didn't know and I was kind | 在六年级的三所不同的学校, 你知道我只是不知道,我很善良 |
| 378 | of lost I was a kind of a lost child but I've always but something I've learned as an adult | 迷路了,我是一个迷路的孩子 但我总是... ... |
| 379 | that I never lost you know I may have been lost in many ways but I I never really lost is that I | 我从未失去你... ...知道我可能在许多方面都失去了... ...但我从未真正失去... |
| 380 | I'm strong I'm a strong person inside and I'm determined and I can't say that I've always | 我坚强,我是一个坚强的人 内心,我决心,我不能说我一直 |
| 381 | been able to pride myself in that verbally throughout my life but I can say that now | 我一生都在言语上感到骄傲 但我现在可以说 |
| 382 | and and you have that you have that in you and that is going I feel like that it's going to take | 而你拥有你体内的这个... ...而现在... ...我觉得这需要... |
| 383 | you far I feel like it gets me to places where I need to be when when times are down I sometimes | 你远走高飞 我觉得它能让我 到达我需要的地方 |
| 384 | when you know you just think all hope is lost and I've reached that place I told you that | 你知道你只是觉得所有的希望都丧失了 而我已经到了我告诉你的地方 |
| 385 | you know we we we reached that place and but my biggest concerns are you and Logan your brother's | 我们到了那个地方 但我最担心的是 你和你哥哥的罗根 |
| 386 | well-being and your happiness and our our stability and you know we have issues with | 幸福和幸福 还有我们的稳定 |
| 387 | fire family dynamics right now right now you're not getting along with Darren and I know the whole | 现在火家族的动态 你现在和达伦不和了 我知道整个 |
| 388 | there's a whole issue there but I have confidence that that will work through I know that you're | 这儿有一大堆问题 但我相信这能通过你 |
| 389 | going through a lot right now and this is a funny age but I'm home and I'm able to really I want | 经历了很多 现在,这是一个有趣的时代 但我在家,我可以 真的我想要 |
| 390 | to really connect with you that's my goal is to really you know not be up in your face but just | 真正与你联系,这是我的目标, 真的你知道,不是在你的脸上,只是 |
| 391 | be there for you and and to solidify our relationship because with what I'm going through | 为你和巩固我们的关系 因为我经历的 |
| 392 | and you're my daughter and I know you're going through it too you know I know it's not something | 你是我女儿 我知道你也经历过 你知道这没什么 |
| 393 | you like to talk about and we've tried the counseling route and I think you're pretty strong | 你喜欢谈 我们试过咨询路线 我觉得你很强壮 |
| 394 | with or without counseling but I really I think that it's important for me to just be there I'm | 不管有没有咨询 但我真的认为我必须在那里 |
| 395 | not going to call up someone come to the house to talk with you when here I am right here you know | 我在这的时候,不会叫人来跟你说话的 |
| 396 | let's let's talk let's let's sit down and talk let's I'm here I'm an open ear for you whenever | 让我们谈谈,让我们坐下来谈谈... ... |
| 397 | you know I I may be recovering from radiation or a medication or not feeling my very best | 我可能从辐射或药物中恢复 或者感觉不到我最好的 |
| 398 | but I'm going to try my darndest to be able to be able to hear you even if I'm just laying there | 但我会试着让我最能听到你的声音 即使我躺在那 |
| 399 | half listening please know but I'm listening it's important it's important to me just as | 半听 请知道 但我在听 这对我很重要 |
| 400 | it was important to me to communicate to you when you're in the womb because I knew that would be | 这对我很重要 当你在子宫里的时候 和你沟通,因为我知道这将是 |
| 401 | official to you later on it was it's as important to me for me to read books to you at night for me | 晚点正式告诉你 对我来说 晚上给你看书也同样重要 |
| 402 | to help nurture your mind in your in your in you and and just really facilitate all those things | 帮助培养你的思想 在你的心中 和只是真正促进所有的东西 |
| 403 | all of those things I did as a mom to benefit you those were just as important as me laying on a | 作为妈妈我所做的那些事 都是为了让你受益 那些和我躺在床上一样重要 |
| 404 | couch listening to your stories about school in your friendship situations I want to hear them | 沙发听你们关于学校的故事 在你们的友谊中 我想听听 |
| 405 | I want to hear them and you know if I give advice or if I you know say things to you that you know | 我想听他们,你知道,如果 我给出建议或你知道 告诉你的事情你知道 |
| 406 | you might not want to hear it's okay to let me know that too right now I've been a little bit | 你可能不想听,它的权利 让我知道,现在,我已经一点点 |
| 407 | tough on you because I've been demanding a certain degree of respect because respect needs to happen | 对你很严厉,因为我一直要求某种程度的尊重 因为尊重需要发生 |
| 408 | it just needs to happen I've I got you on your way into life and I have done a fairly good job | 它只是需要发生 我让你进入了生活 我已经做了一个相当好的工作 |
| 409 | I feel as a mom to get you to a good place at this point you know you may not be completely | 我觉得作为一个母亲,让你到一个好地方 此时此刻,你知道你可能并不完全 |
| 410 | thrilled everything and emotionally I know sometimes you feel a wreck and you know you feel like | 激动万分,情绪激动... ...我知道你有时会觉得一团糟... |
| 411 | sometimes you can't stand Aaron and you want me to make decisions to but you know what my you know | 有时你受不了亚伦,你想让我做决定 但你知道我知道什么 |
| 412 | how I feel on that you know what my take is on that and I I just want you to please hang in please | и稰谋琌 笵и钡琌ぐ或 и琌稱叫绊 |
| 413 | and please know that we love and support you we and I don't speak for anyone else but I do know | 并且请知道,我们爱和支持你 我们和我不为任何人说话 但我知道 |
| 414 | that the love comes from Dan as well you just don't even see that you don't see that you know | 爱情也来自丹 你根本看不出来 |
| 415 | everybody everybody has you know when somebody really loves someone I it and you know when they | 每个人都知道,当有人真的爱一个人 我,你知道,当他们 |
| 416 | don't and I I would know if that were the case it's not the case at all it's just that we all | 不要,我会知道 如果是这样的话... ... |
| 417 | have different ways of presenting our love and sharing our love and my approach a different | 以不同的方式表达我们的爱 分享我们的爱 和我的方法 |
| 418 | person we're different people we're all different people on this earth and that's the biggest thing | 人,我们是不同的人 我们都是不同的人 在这个地球上,这是最大的事情 |
| 419 | and I just want you to know that as you go through life please understand and and I'm just trying to | 我只是想让你知道,当你经历 生活,请理解,我只是想 |
| 420 | teach you in a very trying in a simplistic way even though you're very smart I know you can | 虽然你很聪明,但很努力地教你们 |
| 421 | understand I want to try to in simple terms explain to you that you are going to run into | 理解,我想尝试 简言之, 解释给你,你会遇到 |
| 422 | so many different people and personalities in life and sometimes they bombard you and you just | 生活中有很多不同的人和个性 有时他们轰炸你和你 |
| 423 | don't even know where they came from and and life doesn't seem worth living sometimes and you're | 甚至不知道他们从哪里来 生活似乎不值得生活 有时,你 |
| 424 | just like what is this but as long as you stay true to yourself and who you are which I have | 就像这是什么 只要你忠于自己 和我拥有的你 |
| 425 | complete confidence that you will be you've always been that way you can't go wrong you cannot go | 完全有信心你会是 你一直这样 你不能走错路 你不能走 |
| 426 | so just don't be quick to reject others don't be so quick to shoot people away no out of anger | 所以不要急着拒绝别人 不要那么急着射杀别人,不是因为愤怒 |
| 427 | out of frustration out of and you will and accidentally we always we make these mistakes | 我们总是犯这些错误 |
| 428 | and we do but I I want you to to just know that I've learned from my experience and I'm not perfect | иΤ и稱琵笵 и眖и竒喷厩ㄓ иぃЧ |
| 429 | believe me I'm not but I just want you to really get that message that you just have to be know | 相信我,我不是,但我只是想让你 真正得到的信息,你只需要知道 |
| 430 | where you stand but really be able to step outside and be able to look at where other people are | 你站在哪里,但真的可以 走出门 并能够看别人在哪里 |
| 431 | coming from seeing all different other perspectives and seeing where some might be coming from and | 从所有不同的其他视角来看 也从哪里来的 |
| 432 | trying to take in another point of view is a good healthy thing to do it's probably the best thing | 试图从另一种观点来看待 做健康的事情是件好事 这可能是最好的事情 |
| 433 | you can do when you're trying to develop relationships in life it's going to help you | 当你试图在生活中发展关系时 就能帮助你 |
| 434 | it's going to help you to cope unfortunately you know a lot of these things I didn't learn until | 这会帮助你 应付不幸 你知道很多这些事情 我直到 |
| 435 | later I mean I didn't I didn't learn these things right off the bat I we all live in like a little | 后来,我的意思是,我没有 学习这些东西 从蝙蝠... ... |
| 436 | bubble and we think we've got things figured out and we think we handle things the way we've | 气泡,我们觉得我们已经想通了 我们认为我们处理事情的方式 |
| 437 | used to handle but something new comes up and then we have to deal with that and it's like | 曾经处理,但新的东西 出现,然后我们必须处理 这一点,它就像 |
| 438 | oh okay so lifelong learners is really what it's about my grandfather was a lifelong learner | 哦,好吧,所以终身学习 真的是关于我的祖父是一个终身学习者 |
| 439 | some people are some people aren't but I strive to be that lifelong learner even after I was | 有些人是别人不是 但我努力成为毕生的学习者 |
| 440 | I knew that day I wasn't going to stop learning about what was happening to me what could happen | 那天我知道我不会停止了解 发生在我身上的事 |
| 441 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我知道你们是那样的 | |
| 442 | makes me really pleased that you are you don't give up and you're passionate about the things | 我很高兴你没有放弃 你对事情充满激情 |
| 443 | that you like and are interested in and I'm I'm thrilled with that just don't shut out other | 你喜欢和感兴趣 我对这个很兴奋 只是不要排斥其他 |
| 444 | people's opinions because in the process of you developing your own knowledge and abilities | 人们的意见 因为你们在发展自己的知识和能力的过程中 |
| 445 | shutting people turning people away isn't really going to help you get your point across to others | 把人关起来不会帮助你向别人表达你的观点 |
| 446 | you in whatever way you want to share it with the world or with other people I you know opening | 不管你想怎么和世界分享 或和别人分享 你认识的开场白 |
| 447 | keeping those doors open it's going to help you with that this part of the video I just wanted | 保持这些门打开 它会帮助你 这部分视频 我只是想 |
| 448 | to just address you know where I'm at right now I wanted to talk about your birth my feelings | 我现在想谈谈你的出生 我的感受 |
| 449 | from the moment you were born and moving forward watching you grow from a little girl into a young | 从你出生的那一刻开始 向前走 看着你从一个小女孩成长为年轻 |
| 450 | lady and you know you are not a woman in my eyes yet but you are a young lady who is on her way | 小姐,你知道你不是我眼中的女人 但你是一个年轻的女士 她正在路上 |
| 451 | well on her way to being a very strong woman someday and I'm very proud of you and in the | 有一天她会成为一个非常坚强的女人 我为你感到骄傲 |
| 452 | time you know in this video I hope to just sort of talk about some things that may happen to you | 时间你知道在这个视频中 我希望只是谈谈一些事情 可能发生在你身上 |
| 453 | later on that I just want to give you you know talk to you a little bit about my feelings | 之后,我只想告诉你,你知道 和你谈谈我的感受 |
| 454 | without trying to be in that moment because I don't I don't want to take away from anything | 不想在那一刻 因为我不想夺走任何东西 |
| 455 | that you might experience individually I just want you to hear from me and I love you I just | 你可能亲身经历 我只想让你听到我的声音 我爱你 我只是... |
| 456 | want you to know that I say it and you might hear it and it means you know mom's words I love you | 想要你知道,我说,你可能会听到 它意味着你知道妈妈的话我爱你 |
| 457 | it just kind of comes and goes but I but I want you to know my love isn't just a love it's that | 它只是一种来去去 但我希望你知道 我的爱不仅仅是爱 |
| 458 | deep deep unconditional love that means there's nothing attached to it no strengths it's just it | 深深的无条件的爱 意味着没有什么附属于它 没有优势 |
| 459 | is here and it will it could never be broken up or leave nothing nothing could ever happen to it | 在这里,它会永远无法被打破 或留下任何事情 永远不会发生 |
| 460 | from the moment you were born I signed a contract with my heart that that love began and my contract | 从你出生的那一刻起 我和我的心一起签署了一份合同 爱的开始和我的合同 |
| 461 | continues okay all set hi honey it's mom as you can see I've changed a little bit up top | 继续,好了,蜂蜜,这是妈妈,你可以看到,我已经 改变了一点点顶端 |
| 462 | since the last time well first part of this video and when I look back on it I'm missing my hair | 自从上次这段视频的第一部分 当我回过头来的时候 我想念我的头发 |
| 463 | already but um I know that there are some things that you know you you're going through right now | 但是,嗯,我知道有些事情 你知道你正在经历 |
| 464 | and seeing my hair gone but I know you wouldn't admit it admit to it I guess for I guess for me | 看到我的头发不见了 但你不会承认的 |
| 465 | it's just kind of a natural thing because I lost my hair before in my life and I've been on | 这很自然,因为我失去了我的头发 在我的生活,我一直在 |
| 466 | therapy before and so for me it doesn't seem like such a big deal and I'm more prepared for it this | 之前的治疗 对我来说似乎没什么大不了的 我更愿意做这个 |
| 467 | time um than I certainly was at 12 years old which you know was like I told you before it's a very | 时间,嗯,我肯定 12岁,你知道,就像我告诉你 之前,这是一个非常 |
| 468 | rough time it's a hard time in your life to begin with and um you don't see that now but you will | 难熬的时刻,这是你生活中的艰难时期 开始,嗯,你不看到 现在,但你会 |
| 469 | someday and you know to lose your hair and you know to make sure that you know your friends | 有一天,你知道 失去你的头发,你知道 确保你知道你的朋友 |
| 470 | don't know I had one close friend that that knew about I knew about things that she went through | 不知道我有个熟人知道 她经历的事情 |
| 471 | and she knew about things that I went through and um she was the only one that knew that I was | 她知道我所经历的一切 她是唯一一个知道我 |
| 472 | wearing a wig um and maybe some kids suspected that I was but I I thought I got away with it | 戴着假发,也许有些孩子怀疑我是,但我想我逃脱了 |
| 473 | so as long as psychologically um it helped me quite a bit and putting this tape together for | 只要在心理上帮助我 并整理了这盘带子 |
| 474 | you I really just wanted to give you a sense of where where um you know my mind is in in in how | 我真的想给你一个感知 哪里,嗯,你知道 我的头脑在如何 |
| 475 | I've raised you and how I've um you know things that I've done all years you know good or bad | 我把你养大了,你知道我做了多少事... |
| 476 | and I know someday when you become an adult you will understand that you know we make mistakes | 我知道有一天你长大 你会明白我们犯错 |
| 477 | we fall down we get up and we dust ourselves off and we move forward as fast as we can um and that's | 我们跌倒,我们站起来,我们尘埃落下, 我们尽可能快地前进,嗯,这就是 |
| 478 | all I've ever tried to do and and there are times in my life when you remind me of me in many ways | 所有我曾经尝试做, 在我的生活中有时,你让我想起我 在许多方面 |
| 479 | because I am hard on myself and I've been hard on myself and worried about what other people think | 因为我对自己很苛刻 我对自己很苛刻 担心别人怎么想 |
| 480 | and it's natural to to feel that way your age but then again it's part of been part of my | 自然的感觉是那样的,你的年龄, 但再次,它的一部分是我的 |
| 481 | personality and part of who I am um you know just some of my insecurities you know we call them | 性格和我的一部分,嗯... ...你知道我的一些不安全感... ...你知道我们称之为他们 |
| 482 | insecurities but you know I I've worried about what people thought and things like that um you | 不安全,但你知道我一直担心 人们的想法 和类似的事情,嗯,你 |
| 483 | know I'm not super old and I don't have you know lots and lots of years and years of wisdom to | 知道我不是超老的,我没有你知道 很多,很多年和很多年的智慧 |
| 484 | tell you but I do have I do have 41 years now that I can say that I you know I I know that in my heart | 告诉你,但我确实有41年 现在,我可以说,我知道,我知道,在我心里 |
| 485 | those things don't matter as much anymore and I know that at some point in your life you'll get | 那些东西已经不重要了 我知道在你生命的某个时刻 你会得到 |
| 486 | to that place too or you just don't it's not that you don't care it's just that little things like | 也去那个地方,或者你只是不 它不是你不在乎 它只是小事情喜欢 |
| 487 | that just don't matter um whatever you decide to do in life as far as whether you get married | 这不重要,嗯... 无论你决定做什么 在生活中,你是否结婚 |
| 488 | have children I know you you are very opinionated sometimes I think it's very funny you know I laugh | 有孩子 我知道你很有意见 有时候我觉得很有趣 你知道我笑 |
| 489 | about it inside and there are other times when they take you seriously because I know that you're | 里面还有其它时候 他们认真对待你 因为我知道你是 |
| 490 | such a planner and you you fall through with a lot of things that you say but I also know that you're | 这么个策划者 你却被你说的很多事情所迷惑 但我也知道你是 |
| 491 | 13 years old and that a lot of the things that you say they may not materialize the way you think | 13岁,你说的很多事情 可能无法实现你的想法 |
| 492 | it's going to so just keep that in mind you know if you plan to to get married someday I hope you | 记住,如果你想结婚,我希望你 |
| 493 | are absolutely in love with person that you can call your friend you are the person that you can | 绝对爱的人,你可以打电话给你的朋友 你是你可以的人 |
| 494 | you know talk with and go to if you have problems um I know in my heart at this point in time in my | 如果你有问题的话,我心里有数 |
| 495 | life that there are certain things that we do in life and we don't know exactly how it's going to | 生活,有 我们做的某些事情 在生活中,我们不知道 它到底如何 |
| 496 | but there's one thing I there are some things that I have learned over the years and that is | 但有一件事,我有 一些东西,我已经学到 多年来,这就是 |
| 497 | these important little things and you just don't know until you go through it and you know you may | 这些重要的小事,你只是不知道 直到你经历了它,你知道你可以 |
| 498 | find yourself in a place where you're not in a place where you want to be but it's never too late | 发现自己在一个地方,你没有 在你想去的地方,但它永远不会太迟 |
| 499 | it's never ever too late to change your mind or to change your decision about things um the only | 改变你的想法或改变你对事情的决定 永远也不会太晚 |
| 500 | that makes it difficult and that I've learned over the years is that once you have a family | 这让我很难过 这些年来我了解到 一旦你有一个家庭 |
| 501 | once you have children and children become a part of your life it does complicate things a little | 一旦你有了孩子和孩子 成为你生活的一部分 事情就变得有点复杂 |
| 502 | bit more so that if you make a decision to not either be with the person that you think you is | 更多一点,这样,如果你做出一个决定 既不与你认为的人 |
| 503 | your soulmate for the rest of your life or you think that you know maybe you could have made a | 你的灵魂伴侣的余生 或者你认为你知道 也许你可以做一个 |
| 504 | better decision at some point along the way it's a little bit more difficult to just go back and fix | 在某一时刻做出更好的决定 回去修补会比较困难 |
| 505 | can't really do that can't go back and try to change things as easily when you have children | 做不来,不能回去 尝试改变事情 当你有孩子 |
| 506 | because you know we want certain things in life to be stable and to be um just the same you know | 因为我们想要生活中的某些东西 稳定下来 和你知道的一样 |
| 507 | your children you don't want you know i i don't i i've been very careful about not upsetting | 你的孩子,你不想 你知道,我不... ...我一直非常小心 不惹恼 |
| 508 | your life too much and you know whether it be changing schools um you know there was a time | 你的生活太多了,你知道它是否正在改变 学校,你知道有一段时间 |
| 509 | when i really did in my heart i wanted to move closer to my own sister to be you know but i don't | 当我在心里真的做了,我想 更接近我自己的妹妹,你知道, 但我不 |
| 510 | want you to feel in any way shape or form that you know when you if you watch this someday that | 想要你感受任何形状或形式 当你看到这个时 |
| 511 | you think you know maybe you could have done that for your mom and and um allowed me to be closer | 你以为你知道也许你可以为你妈妈做那些事 然后让我更亲近 |
| 512 | to my doctors and things like that but i i want you to know that i made this decision because i | 对我的医生和类似的事情 但我想让你知道 我做了这个决定 因为我 |
| 513 | care about you and i love you and i want you but it wasn't just about that it was about not upsetting | 关心你,我爱你,我希望你... ...但不只是因为... |
| 514 | your life and making it so difficult that you couldn't stand to not only have a mom with cancer | 你的生活变得如此艰难 以至于你无法忍受 不仅有一个有癌症的母亲 |
| 515 | but to have to meet new friends and go to a new school all of those adjustments i took into | 但必须满足新的朋友 并去一所新学校 所有这些调整 我做了 |
| 516 | consideration and that's why you know we chose to live where we live and we we made these decisions | 考虑一下,这就是为什么你知道 我们选择了生活 我们做了这些决定 |
| 517 | because i really thought carefully about what you the thing you had said to me and you're a little | 因为我真的仔细考虑过 你对我说的话 你有点 |
| 518 | your four-page letter to me i'll never forget um that's just proof of what a planner you are | 你给我的四页信 我永远不会忘记的 只是证明你是一个规划者 |
| 519 | and when you mean business you mean business and i and you do your homework you do and i have to | 当你指生意时 你指生意 我和你做功课 |
| 520 | give you credit for that and i hope you always do your homework i hope you always you know research | 希望你总是做功课 希望你永远懂研究 |
| 521 | things look look up things before you make decisions and step into you know a pot of boiling | 事情在做决定前会看东西 然后走进你身边 |
| 522 | water so to speak there's been many times in my life when i've been very impulsive and i've kind | 说到水,我一生中 有过很多次,我一直很冲动,很善良 |
| 523 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}而这只是成长的一部分 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你知道我在想 | |
| 524 | that life is going to take me to a certain place because i just was convinced that if i do this | 生活会带我到某个地方 因为我坚信如果我这样做 |
| 525 | it'll just happen you know i'll it'll all work out sometimes it had it did work out for me | 它只是发生,你知道,我会 它会一切都会成功 有时它有它的工作对我来说 |
| 526 | sometimes it didn't and what i like very much and what i'm so proud of of you is that you do | 有时它没有,我非常喜欢什么 我以你为荣的是你做的 |
| 527 | your you look at things before you just make a decision um you know you might not right now | 在你做决定之前你先看看事情 你知道你现在可能不会 |
| 528 | because of your age but you definitely have that that is part of your personality and it was when | 因为你的年龄,但你肯定有 这是你人格的一部分,它当时 |
| 529 | you were a little girl i mean you didn't just do things quickly and i i'm really i'm reassured | 你是一个小女孩 我的意思是你没有 做事情很快 我真的放心 |
| 530 | that you're going to make decisions someday and then even if they're not the right decisions | 你总有一天会做决定 即使他们不是正确的决定 |
| 531 | they're going to be ones that um you've done your homework for you you looked at before you | 他们将会是那些 嗯,你做了你的功课 你看着之前 |
| 532 | jumped into so to speak um you know you say often that you and your your brother are very different | 你经常说 你和你哥哥很不一样 |
| 533 | you're very different personalities i do say that i say it pretty clear because it's pretty obvious | 你个性很不一样 我说得很清楚 因为很明显 |
| 534 | and it's obvious to a lot of other people other than you know your mom and your dad um but i have | 除了你认识你妈妈和你爸爸 但我有 |
| 535 | to say that i i told you this many times there are just there are things about you that i absolutely | 我告诉过你很多次了 只是有些事我绝对 |
| 536 | love absolutely love about you and i love that you are who you are in certain ways just like i love | 爱绝对爱着你 爱绝对爱着你 |
| 537 | you know how your brother is about his little personality and things will be interesting over | 你知道你哥哥怎么看他的个性 事情会很有趣的 |
| 538 | the years to see how that grows and develops um just like i have i've gotten to watch you develop | 几年来看它是如何成长和发展的,嗯 就像我有,我得到了看你的发展 |
| 539 | in just 13 years but you know it hasn't been very long but i so look forward to you know many more | 在短短的13年,但你知道 它没有很长 但我希望你知道更多 |
| 540 | years of watching you grow into and have your personality and your um just watch you change | 看着你成长 拥有你的个性 看着你改变 |
| 541 | and you know maybe um and i'm very thrilled and excited to be thinking about being a part of those | 你知道,也许嗯,我非常兴奋和兴奋 想成为其中的一部分 |
| 542 | times and i want you to know i tell you this often i don't know how often you hear me but | 我想告诉你,我经常告诉你... ...我不知道你听得见我多少次... |
| 543 | i'm there all the time i had to go over to walmart and get some new tapes and um happy did that with | 我在那里所有的时间,我必须去华尔马 和得到一些新的磁带,嗯高兴做 |
| 544 | and um i just wanted to sort of um i watched the end of the last tape and i think i'm pretty | 嗯,我只是想 排序嗯,我看 最后一个磁带的结尾 我觉得我漂亮 |
| 545 | not quite sure exactly what i was saying to you at the moment in that moment but i know that um | 我当时不太清楚我对你说了什么 但我知道 |
| 546 | at this point i just want to say you um i was talking about decisions that you make later in | 此时此刻,我只想说,嗯,我在谈论 你做的决定,以后 |
| 547 | your life and um how much no matter what you make for a decision on what you decide to do | 你的生活,嗯,无论你做出什么决定 你决定做什么 |
| 548 | i'm going to be there to support you 110 percent um and it doesn't mean that i won't be there to | 我会在那里支持你110% 嗯,这并不意味着我不会在那里 |
| 549 | give you motherly advice my mother tries to give me advice today and sometimes i find myself getting | 给你母亲的建议 我妈妈今天试图给我的建议 有时我发现自己得到 |
| 550 | caught up in telling her that i already know i know i know i know but sometimes there's been | 告诉她我知道我知道 我知道 但有时 |
| 551 | many times in my life when i walked away and when i think about it her advice hasn't been so bad | 在我生命中很多次,当我离开 当我想到它的时候, 她的建议没有那么糟糕 |
| 552 | it's actually been advice that she'd given to me from a hard-earned experience and you can't | 实际上,这是她给我的建议 从辛苦的经验,你不能 |
| 553 | argue with any of that because sometimes our mother's just no best it might be a overused | 与其中任何一个争论,因为有时 我们的母亲只是不是最好的 它可能是过度使用 |
| 554 | little saying but it is just what it is it's hard to explain sometimes to people how that happens | 只是说说而已 但有时候很难解释 |
| 555 | but it just does sometimes i get advice from her that i don't always want to accept but it is it is | 但有时候我从她那里得到建议 我并不总想接受 但其实是 |
| 556 | it turns out to be good advice and maybe because she's from the outside looking in on me and has | 事实证明是好建议 也许因为她来自外面 看着我,并且有 |
| 557 | i've known you since you were born and i know you always say well i'm a different person and you | 我认识你,因为你出生 我知道你总是说好 我是一个不同的人和你 |
| 558 | don't know everything little thing but you know i give you credit because i do know quite a bit | 不知所措,但你知道我给你的功劳 因为我知道很多 |
| 559 | i do know a lot more than you think and when you um give birth to a child and you raise that child | 我比你想象的要清楚得多 当你生下孩子,抚养孩子 |
| 560 | you you know a lot tend to know a lot about them um do i know every little thought that goes on in | 你知道很多事情 往往知道很多关于他们... ... |
| 561 | your mind no i don't and i'm glad that you have you're able to have you know your opinions and | 我很高兴你能知道你的意见 |
| 562 | thoughts that you can keep to yourself and or write down whatever whatever it is however you like to | 思想,你可以保持自己 或记下来 无论你喜欢什么 |
| 563 | to do i know you and i are different that way i'm sort of write my thoughts down on paper and that's | 我知道你和我是不一样的 这样我就会把想法写在纸上 |
| 564 | kind of how that propelled me into wanting to um you know write a book about my life and things | 那种让我想写一本关于我的生活和事物的书 |
| 565 | like that not everybody likes to do that not that's not for everybody not everybody likes to put their | 不是每个人都喜欢这样 不是每个人都喜欢这样 |
| 566 | feelings on paper and and you and i are a little different that way um and i hope someday to be | 纸上的感觉和你我有点不一样 我希望有一天 |
| 567 | able to have that book for you to be able to read and or share with others or just i hope to have | 能够有这本书 让你能够阅读 或与其他人分享 或者只是我希望有 |
| 568 | both of these things i wanted you to be able to see my face and whether i'm here 10 years from now | 我想让你看看我的脸 以及10年后我是否在这里 |
| 569 | or 20 years from now or whether i'm not for you know god forbid something happens to me | 或二十年后 或者我是否不适合你... ...知道上帝保佑我出事 |
| 570 | um with this illness or whatever i mean we don't know what could happen to any of us from day to | 嗯,有这种疾病 或什么 我的意思是,我们不知道 会发生什么 我们从一天到一天 |
| 571 | day moment to moment but i i know that this making this tape for you was important to me for you to | 我知道这段录影带对你很重要 |
| 572 | be able to see my face talking to you um even if you've heard many of these words before um | 能看见我的脸跟你说话 即使你听过很多这些话 |
| 573 | it's still important for me to be able to say them again and have you hear them again and have this | 让我能再说一遍 让你再听一遍 拿着这个 |
| 574 | keepsake that you could play again and again to listen to whenever you so chose to um you know i | 一直以来,你可以玩 一遍又一遍地听 当你选择嗯,你知道我 |
| 575 | i've said this and i've said this in the early part of the tape that no i'm very very proud of | 我已经说过了,我已经说过 这在录像带的早期部分 我非常自豪 |
| 576 | you i'm proud of everything that you've done it just ceases to amaze me what you are capable | 我为你所做的一切感到骄傲 只是不再让我惊叹你的能力 |
| 577 | of doing and what you have shown me that you're able to do and i so look forward to future years | 以及你向我展示的 你能做到的事 我期待未来 |
| 578 | of just watching you be successful and grow um but the most important thing to me at this point | 眼睁睁看着你成功成长 但此刻对我最重要的事情 |
| 579 | especially where the age that you're at right now where you're sort of kind of struggling with | 特别是你现在所处的年龄 那种你挣扎 |
| 580 | you know am i an adult no am i a child no you're not you're not alone anymore and you do have | 你知道我是成年人 也不是孩子 你不再是一个人了 |
| 581 | opinions and you want to voice them and you want to have the opportunity to do that and sometimes | 意见,你想表达他们 你想有机会做到这一点,有时 |
| 582 | you fight me and you fight darren and you you're fighting the world right now because you feel like | 你跟我打,你和达伦打 而你现在打世界 因为你觉得 |
| 583 | opinions need to be voiced and they're strong you're a strong willed girl and you're a very | 需要表达意见,他们很坚强 你是个坚强的意志女孩,你是一个非常 |
| 584 | strong um personality and in your in your beliefs and those the idea that you are | 强烈的,嗯 个性,在你的信仰 和那些你的想法 |
| 585 | is i'm very proud of i like the fact that you are a strong old girl nobody's really going to persuade | 我很骄傲你是个强壮的老姑娘 没有人会说服你 |
| 586 | you do anything that you don't want to do really and that i know for a fact i've known this about | 你做你不想做的事 而我知道一个事实 |
| 587 | you since you were five years old i've known this but i do i want to go back to you know exactly | 你五岁起我就知道了 但我想回去告诉你 |
| 588 | how i felt about you from the moment you were born i knew that you were a strong person and you | 从你出生那一刻起 我就知道你是一个坚强的人 而你 |
| 589 | that's a very good quality to have um but there are times during your growing up years when i've | 那是个非常好的品质,嗯... ...但有时,在你长大的年代,我曾经 |
| 590 | noticed that sometimes your strong personality and your strong opinions have kind of gotten in the | 注意,有时 你的强个性 和你的强烈意见 有点进入 |
| 591 | way of you being able to see all that you can around you and if i could give you one last | 你可以看到你身边的一切 如果我能给你最后一个 |
| 592 | message that would be to really open up your eyes to really look around make sure that you're not | 信息,这将是真正打开你的眼睛 真正看看周围 确保你不是 |
| 593 | using your strong opinions to propel you to doing things and making decisions about other people | 利用你强烈的意见 推动你做事 和决定别人 |
| 594 | and other things and being sort of allowing it to create sort of an ignorance and sort of opinions | 和其他一些事情, 并某种地允许它 制造某种无知 和某种意见 |
| 595 | about things that unless you like i told you this from day one and i know this having been through | 除非你喜欢我从第一天开始就告诉你 我知道这一切已经过去 |
| 596 | cancer in my life having been through hardships in my life even people who have been through it | 癌症在我一生中 经历了艰难的生活 甚至那些经历过它的人 |
| 597 | they can't always speak to this but i have to say this is very important to me as a mom saying to | 他们不能总是说话 但我不得不说 这对我很重要 作为一个妈妈说 |
| 598 | you unless you walk in somebody else's shoes do not claim to know how they feel or what they're | 除非你走在别人的鞋 并不声称知道他们的感受或他们是什么 |
| 599 | going through or what they should do or what they should have done because everybody makes their | 经历 或他们应该做什么 或他们应该做什么 因为每个人都做了自己的 |
| 600 | decisions based on in the moment what they are feeling and they make it based on what is best | 在他们所感受的瞬间做出决策, 并根据什么是最好的决定 |
| 601 | for them and not everybody makes good decisions and i haven't i've told you this throughout the | 对他们来说,不是每个人都做好决定 我还没有告诉你 |
| 602 | tape i've not made the most perfect decisions in my life that i could have made for myself | 带子 我这辈子没有做出过 最完美的决定 |
| 603 | but and you're not going to want you to know that no matter what you decide to do i will support you | 但你不会想让你知道 无论你决定做什么 我都会支持你 |
| 604 | it doesn't mean i'm not going to give you my opinion as a mom on what i think you could do | 这并不意味着我不会给你 我的意见作为一个母亲,我认为你能做什么 |
| 605 | but i would never ever push that on you in a strong way and lead you to feel so differently | 但我永远也不会用强力的方式逼你 让你有如此不同的感觉 |
| 606 | than what you feel already about yourself i want you to try i really would like to see you make | 而不是你已经对你自己的感受 我想要你试试 我真的很想看你做出 |
| 607 | decision and i will either support you or i will share my opinion but it's going to be in a really | 我要么支持你 要么同意我的意见 但它将会是真正的 |
| 608 | really neutral way. | 非常中立的方式。 |
| 609 | If I don't, you're allowed to remind me of that as you get older. | 如果我不这样做,你可以提醒我 当你长大。 |
| 610 | I will | 我会的 |
| 611 | give you permission for that, but please be gentle and please be respectful when you do. | 请您允许,但请保持温柔,请您尊重。 |
| 612 | I wish looking back that I had been a little more respectful and a little more gentle on my mother | 我倒希望回想起来 我对我母亲的尊敬和温柔 |
| 613 | and some of her opinions on things because I know she didn't well in the end, but I didn't | 以及她的一些观点 因为我知道她最后表现不好 但我没有 |
| 614 | always take it the way. | 总是这样 |
| 615 | It's hard to know that when we're growing up, but I know in time you will | 很难知道,当我们长大, 但我知道在时间你会 |
| 616 | learn it because you're a smart girl and I've watched you evolve and mature and learn things | 学它是因为你是个聪明的女孩 我看着你进化成熟 学东西 |
| 617 | over time that you didn't get when you were seven years old. | 在你7岁那年没拿到的 |
| 618 | You get now at 13. | 你现在13点到 |
| 619 | So my last message | 所以,我最后一个信息 |
| 620 | to you is I absolutely love you with all of my heart unconditionally. | 我全心全意地爱你 |
| 621 | There are no strings | 没有弦 |
| 622 | attached to this. | 随附此经. |
| 623 | It is just a love that will never ever decrease, diminish, no matter what happens, | 不管发生什么 爱永远不会减少 减少 |
| 624 | no matter what. | 不管怎样 |
| 625 | You could say very hurtful things to me and I'm going to tell you they hurt me, | 你可以对我说很伤人的话 我会告诉你他们伤害了我 |
| 626 | but it doesn't mean I would ever stop loving you as a person and as my daughter. | 但这并不意味着我将永远停止爱你 作为一个人和作为我的女儿。 |
| 627 | I feel very, | 我觉得非常 |
| 628 | very lucky to have you as a daughter and I feel very, very blessed to be able to see you achieve | 非常幸运,有你作为一个女儿, 我感觉非常,非常,非常吉祥 看到你成就 |
| 629 | things that you want to achieve and you go after things and you talk to me about things and I just | 你想实现的事情 你追求的东西 你跟我谈事情 我只是 |
| 630 | know in my heart that you're going to be successful no matter what you decide to do and if you fail, | 我心里知道 无论你决定做什么 你都会成功 如果你失败 |
| 631 | if you feel in your heart that you failed, just know that you can get back up again, | 如果你心里觉得自己失败了 只要知道你能再站起来 |
| 632 | brush yourself off and start again. | 梳洗一下,重新开始。 |
| 633 | It is not the end of the world. | 这不是世界末日。 |
| 634 | It is not. | 事实并非如此。 |
| 635 | It is never too late. | 它永远不会太晚。 |
| 636 | Sometimes we can't undo things that have happened, but it is never too late | 有时候我们无法扭转已经发生的事情, 但永远不会太迟 |
| 637 | to change and fix things. | 改变和修复事物。 |
| 638 | I've met older people along the way, people in groups, | 我在路上遇到过老年人 一群人 |
| 639 | 10, 20 years older than me that are just discovering things about their lives and making | 比我大10,20岁, 刚刚发现的东西 他们的生活和制作 |
| 640 | changes and become extremely happy in a way that they've never been before and when you see this | 改变和变得极其快乐的方式 他们从来没有去过 当你看到这一点 |
| 641 | happening, you know that life is just a series of learning events and it continues. | 生活只是一系列的学习活动,它仍在继续。 |
| 642 | It's never | 从来没有 |
| 643 | ending and you know what you learn today doesn't mean you're not going to change your mind later | 结束,你知道你今天学到了什么 并不意味着你以后不会改变主意 |
| 644 | on and evolve and think differently about things. | 和进化 思考不同的事物。 |
| 645 | So just keep that in mind and keep an open mind | 所以,只要记住这一点 并保持开放的思想 |
| 646 | please. | 请 |
| 647 | I love you very much and I'm very proud of you and I guess that's really the bottom line. | 我非常爱你,我以你为荣 我猜这才是底线 |
| 648 | That's pretty much all I have to say at this point. | 这就是我现在要说的 |
| 649 | I hope you enjoy watching this videotape. | 我希望你喜欢看这个录像带。 |
| 650 | Sometimes you might get a little bored with it, especially if there are things like I said you've | 有时候你可能会觉得有点无聊 尤其是如果有我说过的东西 |
| 651 | heard before, but I hope someday it's beneficial to you and I hope that you can watch it and think, | 之前听到的,但我希望有一天 它对你有益 我希望你可以看它,并思考, |
| 652 | Get a good sense of who your mom is. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I | 好好了解你妈妈是谁 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 我爱你 一、导 言 |
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