【外刊精读·哈佛】如何管理一个不安全感领导

发布于 2026-10-31 · 时长 17:51

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00		今日精读,如何管理一个不安全感领导,来自哈佛商业评论,欢迎收听。.
0:07	You're a competent, strategic professional.	你是个能干,有战略眼光的专业人士.
0:10	You think clearly, execute well, and deliver results.	你清楚的思考,执行得好,并带来结果。
0:13	But there's one part of your job no one prepared you for.	但有一部分你的工作没有人准备好你。
0:17	Managing an insecure boss or colleague.	管理一个不安全的老板或同事.
0:20	This is a more common problem than organizations like to admit, even at senior levels of the hierarchy.	这是一个比组织更普遍的问题,它们喜欢承认,甚至在高层。
0:26	Recent research suggests that about 36% of adults have an insecure attachment style.	最近的研究表明,大约36%的成年人具有不安全的依恋风格.
0:33	And a 2024 Korn Ferry report found that 71% of U.S. CEOs and 65% of other senior executives	一份2024年的Korn Ferry报告发现71%的美国CEO 和65%的其他高级执行官
0:40	experience symptoms of imposter syndrome, the persistent fear of being exposed as incompetent.	经历冒牌货综合症的症状,持续害怕暴露为无能.
0:46	Leaders, including CEOs, other C-suite executives and board chairs, may appear confident and	包括首席执行官、其他C套装执行官和董事长在内的领导人可能显得自信,

展开字幕全文（303 条）

序号	英文	中文
1		今日精读,如何管理一个不安全感领导,来自哈佛商业评论,欢迎收听。.
2	You're a competent, strategic professional.	你是个能干,有战略眼光的专业人士.
3	You think clearly, execute well, and deliver results.	你清楚的思考,执行得好,并带来结果。
4	But there's one part of your job no one prepared you for.	但有一部分你的工作没有人准备好你。
5	Managing an insecure boss or colleague.	管理一个不安全的老板或同事.
6	This is a more common problem than organizations like to admit, even at senior levels of the hierarchy.	这是一个比组织更普遍的问题,它们喜欢承认,甚至在高层。
7	Recent research suggests that about 36% of adults have an insecure attachment style.	最近的研究表明,大约36%的成年人具有不安全的依恋风格.
8	And a 2024 Korn Ferry report found that 71% of U.S. CEOs and 65% of other senior executives	一份2024年的Korn Ferry报告发现71%的美国CEO 和65%的其他高级执行官
9	experience symptoms of imposter syndrome, the persistent fear of being exposed as incompetent.	经历冒牌货综合症的症状,持续害怕暴露为无能.
10	Leaders, including CEOs, other C-suite executives and board chairs, may appear confident and	包括首席执行官、其他C套装执行官和董事长在内的领导人可能显得自信,
11	charismatic, but under pressure their unresolved fears of inadequacy and rejection quietly distort	充满魅力,但迫于压力他们对不足和拒绝的恐惧
12	decision-making and can undermine collaboration.	决策,并可能破坏合作。
13	They may micromanage, emotionally withdraw,	他们可能微弱的处理, 情感的退缩,
14	resist feedback or seek excessive praise.	抵制反馈或寻求过度赞扬。
15	If you work for or with such individuals,	如果你为这些人工作或与之合作,
16	you're not alone.	你不是一个人。
17	According to a 2023 report from Pew Research Center,	根据皮尤研究中心2023年的报告,
18	more than a third of American workers describe their bosses as somewhat or extremely dismissive	超过三分之一的美国工人形容他们的老板有点或极其无礼
19	or unpredictable, traits often linked to insecurity.	或无法预测,特征往往与不安全有关。
20	When teams are negatively impacted	当团队受到不利影响时
21	by those kinds of managers or colleagues, it can lead to pervasive stress, higher burnout	管理者或同事, 会导致无处不在的压力,
22	and increased turnover.	并增加营业额。
23	However, when insecurity is driving the behavior of someone who is senior	然而,当不安全正在驱动一个高年级的人的行为
24	to you or more powerful, it is possible to manage up.	对你或更强大的, 它有可能管理起来。
25	Drawing on our peer-reviewed research into	利用我们经同行审查的研究,
26	attachment dynamics in organizations and on our work with executives, we've created a	组织内部的动态以及我们与高管的合作
27	framework for addressing two common forms of insecure leadership and building a more	解决两种共同形式的不安全领导和建立更加
28	functional working relationship with any insecure manager, peer or team member.	与任何不安全的管理人员、同行或团队成员的职能工作关系。
29	Two types of insecurity and security is fundamentally relational.	两类不安全和安全从根本上是相互关联的。
30	It's shaped by early life experiences and amplified under stress.	它由早期的生活经历所塑造,在压力下放大.
31	Our research has explored	我们的研究已经探索
32	two common insecure attachment patterns, anxious and avoidant, and how they show up in work	两种常见的无保障的依恋模式,焦虑和避免,以及他们如何在工作上出现
33	relationships.	关系
34	Anxious leaders crave an affirming, constant and often unrealistic connection,	愤怒的领导人渴望一种肯定、持续和往往不切实际的联系,
35	lighting up with praise but spiraling when they feel excluded or criticized.	当他们感到被排斥或受到批评时,他们就会受到赞美,但螺旋上升。
36	They may micromanage, over-apologize or change direction abruptly in reaction to the latest	它们可能微观管理、过度道歉或突然改变方向,以响应最新的
37	conversation or imagined slight.	交谈或想象的轻微。
38	They pull teams close and then when overwhelmed, push them away.	他们把队伍拉近,然后当不堪重负时,把他们推走.
39	Their energy can be infectious, even inspiring, but it can also be draining, as teams feel dragged	他们的能量可能具有感染性,甚至鼓舞人心,但也可能在消耗,因为队伍感到被拖累
40	into emotional turbulence.	进入情绪动荡
41	Catherine Graham, the late former publisher of the Washington Post,	凯瑟琳·格雷厄姆,《华盛顿邮报》前出版人,
42	began her leadership journey with anxious insecurity.	她的领导能力始于焦急的不安全。
43	After her husband's suicide in 1963,	1963年丈夫自杀后
44	she unexpectedly took control of the paper.	她意外地控制了报纸
45	She admitted to being terrified in meetings and	她承认在会议上害怕
46	hesitant to speak up.	不敢直说.
47	Her own account and biographies note that she was seen as an insecure	她自己的账户和传记都显示她被视为一个不安全的人
48	woman thrust into a man's world and made mistakes as a result, including mishandling	女人被推入男人的世界,因此犯了错误,包括处理不当
49	the 1975 Pressman strike.	1975年普雷斯曼罢工。
50	However, in part because of her relationship with then editor Ben Bradley,	然而,部分由于她与时任编辑本·布拉德利的关系,
51	she began to overcome those anxieties.	她开始克服这些焦虑
52	One of us, Jeffrey, coached a senior finance	我们中的一个,杰弗里,教练一个高级财务
53	executive whose challenge was not technical competence but visible anxiety anytime the CEO	执行官的挑战不是技术能力,而是首席执行官随时明显的焦虑
54	questioned his recommendations.	质疑他的建议。
55	This executive struggled to separate professional disagreements	这个行政官为了分清职业上的分歧
56	from personal rejection, another common problem.	从个人拒绝, 另一个常见的问题。
57	Avoident leaders, by contrast,	相形之下,避免的领导者
58	tend to appear calm and rational, projecting an image of control and independence.	往往显得平静和理性,呈现出一种控制和独立的形象。
59	But beneath that surface is a discomfort with vulnerability that keeps them distant and hard	但是在地表之下, 有一种不适与脆弱, 使他们远离和艰难
60	to reach.	到达。
61	They pride themselves on being self-reliant, shun open dialogue, reject criticism,	他们以自力更生为傲拒绝公开对话拒绝批评
62	and rarely show uncertainty.	也很少显示出不确定性。
63	To work with them is to work around a wall built from a fear of	和他们一起工作就是在一堵墙周围工作墙上建造的恐惧
64	others too much.	别人太过分了
65	They may shut down when challenged or become hypervigilant when the stakes are high.	当他们面临挑战时,他们可能会停业,或者在利害关系重大时,会变得过度兴奋。
66	Steve Jobs, the late co-founder of Apple, was sometimes described as displaying avoidant	史蒂夫·乔布斯(Steve Jobs)是苹果公司已故的联合创始人,有时被描述为展示避风的
67	tendencies, emotional distance, rapid withdrawal when challenged, and a strong need to preserve	趋势、感情距离、在遇到挑战时迅速退出,以及保护
68	control.	控制系统
69	Reports suggest that few colleagues felt secure enough to fully connect with him	报告表明,很少有同事感到安全,足以与他充分联系。
70	because he rarely acknowledged his mistakes or showed emotional openness.	因为他很少承认自己的错误或者表现出情感上的开放.
71	However, some of his	不过,他的一些
72	collaborators such as designer Johnny Ive were able to break through.	设计师约翰尼·伊夫等合作者得以突破.
73	We can find good examples	我们可以找到好的例子
74	of subordinates working to counteract insecure leadership in the political realm too.	在政治领域努力对抗不安全的领导层的下属。
75	Consider	考虑
76	Henry Kissinger, arguably the 20th century's most influential American diplomat, who spent much of	亨利·基辛格(英語:Henry Kissinger),可以说是20世纪最有影响力的美国外交官,他花费了大部分时间
77	his career managing the brilliant but deeply insecure President Richard Nixon, a man known	他的事业管理辉煌但极度不安全的总统理查德·尼克松,一个已知的人
78	to be distrustful of many and in need of constant reassurance.	不信任许多人,需要不断保证。
79	Of course, Kissinger did not prevent	当然,基辛格没有阻止
80	Watergate, but he did push Nixon toward meaningful foreign policy successes, including the withdrawal	水门,但他确实将尼克松推向了有意义的外交政策成功,包括退出
81	of U.S. troops from Vietnam, the establishment of relations with China, and a détente with the	美军从越南, 建立与中国的关系,
82	Soviet Union, which otherwise might not have been achieved.	苏联,否则可能无法实现.
83	Common pitfalls to avoid many people who	常见的陷阱避免许多人谁
84	work with insecure leaders or colleagues respond in counterproductive ways.	与不安全的领导人或同事合作,以适得其反的方式作出反应。
85	In our research,	在我们的研究中,
86	we've identified three common traps that people fall into, thereby exacerbating the negative	我们发现了三个常见的陷阱人们陷入, 从而加剧了负
87	dynamics in their workplaces.	工作场所的动态。
88	Overaccommodation.	过度住宿。
89	When leaders feel uncertain, it's natural to want	当领导人感到不确定时,自然想要
90	to ease their anxiety by anticipating their needs, agreeing quickly, or glossing over bad news.	通过预测他们的需要、迅速同意或掩盖坏消息来缓解他们的焦虑。
91	When they are withdrawn or unpredictable, you might avoid bringing them in on issues,	当它们被撤回或无法预料的时候, 你可能会避免把它们带进问题,
92	shield them from criticism, or limit their exposure to others.	保护他们不受批评,或限制他们接触他人。
93	But overaccommodating often	但经常过度调和
94	leads to blurred boundaries and unrealistic expectations.	导致边界模糊和不现实的期望。
95	It reinforces the leaders' insecurities	这强化了领导人的不安全感
96	and, for you, can result in burnout, frustration, and diminished credibility.	而对于你来说, 会导致燃烧, 沮丧, 和降低信誉。
97	Consider a strategy	考虑一项战略
98	director who, worried about an anxious chief executive's reaction, quietly rewrites the	导演在担心首席执行官的反应时,悄悄地改写了
99	investor deck himself after every minor comment and removes any data that might trigger concern.	投资者自己在每一个小评论后都会去掉任何可能引起关注的数据.
100	The CEO becomes even more dependent on him to fix things and increasingly intolerant of ambiguity,	首席执行官越来越依赖他来修正事情并且越来越不容忍模糊不清
101	while the director burns out and loses respect with peers who see him as serving one person's	导演烧焦失去对同伴的尊重他们认为他为一个人服务
102	anxiety more than the organization's needs.	比组织的需要更焦虑
103	Withdrawal.	撤资
104	Your instinctive response to neediness	你本能地对需要的反应
105	or volatility from a boss might be to pull back, disengaging emotionally, communicating only when	或来自老板的波动可能是撤退, 分散情绪, 沟通只有在
106	necessary with holding feedback, or tuning out altogether.	需要保持反馈,或完全调整。
107	This creates a vacuum, reducing	这造成真空,减少
108	transparency and trust, and may reinforce leaders' beliefs that they can't rely on others.	透明与信任,并可能强化领导人的信念,即他们不能依赖他人.
109	We see this happen often with avoidant leader relationships.	我们经常看到这种情况发生与避免的领导关系。
110	A regional sales head, for example,	例如,区域销售主管,
111	stops bringing tough pipeline issues to her distant SVP reasoning he doesn't want to engage	别再给SVP带来困难他不想参与的推理
112	anyway.	无论如何
113	She sends short, cryptic emails instead of having real conversations.	她发送了简短的,加密的电子邮件,而不是进行真正的对话.
114	While this self-protection is understandable, it cuts the leader off from information and contact	虽然这种自我保护是可以理解的,但它切断了领导人的信息和联系
115	undermining trust.	破坏了信任。
116	Confrontation without calibration.	对抗而不校准.
117	Attempting to confront an insecure	试图面对不安全
118	leader's behavior head-on can backfire.	头头的行为会反射
119	Even well-intentioned advice can be perceived as a	即使意图良好的建议也可被视为一种
120	threat, leading to defensiveness, retaliation, or a further breakdown in communication.	威胁,导致防卫性,报复性,或通信进一步中断.
121	What matters is timing, tone, and strategic empathy.	重要的是时机、语气和战略同情。
122	Addressing issues too bluntly or too soon can close doors rather than open dialogue.	过于直率或过早地解决问题可以关闭大门,而不是公开对话。
123	Mary Haastijk-Vuys consider a scenario one of us, Drichen, observed involving a talented	Mary Haastijk -Vuys 认为我们其中之一德里奇恩所观察到的有才华的情景
124	operations manager and his avoidant VP.	操作经理和他的避让副总裁。
125	Frustrated by the VP's lack of engagement	对副总统缺乏参与感到失望
126	and delayed decision-making, the manager confronted him during a tense project review.	在紧张的项目审查中,经理与他进行了对质。
127	Your unavailability is paralyzing the team, and we need clear direction from you now.	你的缺席令团队瘫痪我们需要你明确指示
128	Though the feedback was accurate, the VP experienced it as a public challenge to his	虽然反馈是准确的,但副总统认为,这是对他的公开挑战。
129	competence.	权限。
130	He shut down, cut the conversation short, and then became even less accessible,	他关闭, 缩短谈话, 然后变得更难接触,
131	gradually sidelining the manager from key decisions.	逐渐将管理人员从关键决定中忽略。
132	What had been intended as a plea	原意是认罪
133	for collaboration was interpreted as a direct threat to authority.	合作被解释为对当局的直接威胁。
134	Now let's look at how you	现在让我们看看你如何
135	can operate more like Bradley, Ive, and Kissinger to build more productive relationships with and	可以像布拉德利、艾弗和基辛格那样运作建立更富有成效的关系
136	better manage both anxious and avoidant leaders.	更好的管理既焦急又避险的领导人。
137	The three are process we teach people a three-step	三个是过程,我们教人们三步
138	process, regulate, relate, reason for managing the insecure behaviors of others.	管理他人的不安全行为。
139	It's based on a framework developed by Bruce Perry, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist	它基于一个框架由Bruce Perry, 一个精神病学家和神经科学家
140	specializing in attachment and brain development.	专门从事附着和大脑发育.
141	This three are sequence recognizes that when	这三个是序列承认当
142	people are under pressure, as most leaders often are, they revert to relying on their instincts,	人们承受着压力,就像大多数领导人一样, 他们重新依靠他们的本能,
143	which can hinder logical thought.	这会妨碍逻辑思考
144	Before you can connect with and exert influence over insecure	在你与不安全联系和施加影响之前
145	leaders, you must first help them regulate their nervous systems.	领导者,你必须首先帮助他们调节他们的神经系统。
146	After that, you can relate	之后,你可以联系
147	through connection and then and only then reason through the issue at hand.	然后才通过手头的问题来解释
148	Here's how the model	模型是这样的
149	works in practice.	实际工作。
150	One, regulate.	一,规范.
151	When people feel danger, no amount of logic or strategy will get	当人们感到危险时逻辑和策略都得不到
152	through to them until their brains are calm.	直到他们的大脑平静。
153	That is especially true for insecurely attached leaders	对无保障的领袖来说尤其如此
154	who may be more likely to perceive feedback or ambiguity as threats.	他们更可能将反馈或含糊视为威胁。
155	An avoidant leader may need	避免的领袖可能需要
156	space and predictability.	空间和可预测性。
157	An anxious leader may need soothing nonverbal signals.	一个焦急的领导人可能需要安慰非语言信号.
158	With anxious	充满焦虑
159	leaders, your role is to anchor the conversation with steadiness.	领导人,你的作用是把对话固定在稳健状态
160	A grounded, confident tone and	一种有根据、有信心的语气
161	a clear message can ease their anxiety.	明确的信息可以缓解他们的焦虑。
162	Consider phrases like, we have time to address this.	想想看,我们有时间来讨论这个问题。
163	Avoid mirroring their anxiety or dismissing their concerns.	避免反映他们的焦虑或忽略他们的关切。
164	Instead, acknowledge the concerns and	相反,承认人们的关切,
165	slow down the pace.	减速
166	With avoidant leaders, regulation involves minimizing perceived	与避避的领导人相比,监管涉及尽量减少人们所认为的
167	intrusion and emotion and emphasizing structure.	侵入和情感和强调结构。
168	Consider phrases like, I've analyzed the options	想想这些话,我分析过了
169	and have a recommendation that signals clearheaded thinking rather than emotional turmoil and conveys	并有一个建议, 信号头脑清醒的思维而不是情绪动荡并传达
170	respect for their space and authority while demonstrating competence.	尊重他们的空间和权威,同时表现出他们的能力。
171	Two, relate.	二,关系。
172	Because	因为
173	insecure reactions are rooted in early attachment patterns and stem from a disrupted sense of	不安全的反应源于早期的附着模式,源于一种被破坏的情绪。
174	belonging or worth, they require a relational response.	拥有或价值,它们需要关系反应。
175	This doesn't mean becoming overly	这并不意味着过度
176	personal or indulgent.	个人或放纵。
177	It's simply being present, attuned, and trustworthy.	它只是在场,调和,值得信赖。
178	Leaders who feel safe	觉得安全的领导人
179	are more likely to listen, reflect, and grow.	更有可能倾听、反思和成长。
180	With anxious leaders, consistency matters.	对焦急的领导人来说,一致性很重要。
181	Check-ins, follow-through, and predictable behavior create the scaffolding they need.	登机跟踪和可预测的行为创造了他们需要的脚手架
182	Use inclusive language, let's explore this together, and signal shared commitment.	使用包容性语言,让我们一起探索,并表明共同的承诺。
183	Be	成为
184	cautious with sudden changes or ambiguity, which they can read as abandonment.	注意突然变化或模糊,他们可以读作放弃。
185	Being physically	体质
186	present is also important because it calms an anxious nervous system.	现在也很重要因为它能平息焦虑的神经系统
187	Put away devices,	收起设备
188	maintain appropriate eye contact, and lean in slightly.	保持适当的眼睛接触, 稍稍倾斜。
189	Move away from your desk to sit	远离你的桌子坐
190	beside the anxious person during difficult discussions.	除了在艰难的讨论中焦躁不安的人
191	These proximity cues work at a	这些近距离提示在
192	pre-verbal level, signaling availability and engagement in ways that words alone cannot.	以单词无法表达的方式表示可用性和参与。
193	With avoidant leaders, respect their preference for independence and predictable,	与躲避的领导人,尊重他们对独立和可预测的偏爱,
194	emotionally undemanding relationships while creating subtle opportunities for connection.	感情上不要求的关系,同时为连接创造微妙的机会.
195	Instead of asking, how do you feel about this?	与其问,不如问,你对此事有何感想?
196	Try what's your take on this?	试试看,你对此有什么看法?
197	Before challenging	在挑战之前
198	their plans, first align with their intent.	他们的计划,首先符合他们的意图。
199	I see how this supports the efficiency targets you set	我了解这如何支持你设定的效率目标
200	last quarter.	最后一个季度。
201	I've been thinking about one potential side effect we might want to mitigate.	我一直在想一个可能的副作用我们可能想要缓解。
202	The idea is to signal, I'm on your side, which makes it more likely they will stay engaged when	想法是信号,我是站在你这边的, 这使得他们更有可能保持接触,当
203	you eventually raise concerns.	你最终会引起关注
204	Relating also means respecting their preferred channels.	联系还意味着尊重他们喜欢的渠道。
205	Some avoidant leaders genuinely do better with written communication than with frequent meetings.	一些避讳的领导人在书面沟通方面确实比频繁会晤做得更好。
206	Working side by side in a shared document or sending a brief update instead of insisting on	在共同文件中并肩工作或发送简短的更新,而不是坚持
207	another call can be a way of being with them that feels safe enough for them to stay available.	另一通电话可以是和他们在一起的一种方式,让他们感到足够安全,可以随时待命。
208	Reason When leaders feel regulated and connected,	原因当领袖们感到被约束和联系时,
209	they're ready to engage their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible	他们准备接触前额皮层大脑负责的部分
210	for executive function, reasoning, and planning.	执行职能、推理和规划。
211	This is when you introduce feedback, strategy,	当你引入反馈,策略,
212	or problem solving.	或解决问题。
213	Frame your reasoning within the relationship you've built.	将你的推理纳入你建立的关系
214	Communicate clearly and ask for input.	沟通明确,要求输入.
215	This not only invites collaboration,	这不仅吸引了合作,
216	but also strengthens the leader's sense of agency.	但也加强了领导者的权责感.
217	It's key with both anxious and	这是关键与焦虑和
218	avoidant executives.	避职高管
219	With anxious leaders frame problem solving collaboratively,	带着焦急的领袖们共同解决问题,
220	now that we've identified the concern, what options do we see?	现在,我们已经确定了关注, 我们有什么选择?
221	Then think aloud,	然后大声地想
222	I'm weighing three factors, the client's history, the email content, and our relationship context.	我在权衡三个因素客户的历史电子邮件内容还有我们的关系背景
223	This transparency reduces the uncertainty where anxiety flourishes.	这种透明度减少了焦虑泛滥的不确定性。
224	Document decisions to prevent post-meeting spirals.	防止会议后螺旋式的决定文件。
225	Send a simple follow-up email	发送一个简单的后续邮件
226	confirming agreement, which they can return to when doubt creeps in.	以证实协议,当怀疑降临的时候,他们可以返回协议。
227	With avoidant leaders present information in a way that maximizes their autonomy,	避免的领导人以最大限度的自主方式提供信息,
228	I've identified two paths.	我找到了两条路
229	Option A optimizes efficiency, whereas B maximizes stakeholder buy-in.	备选方案A优化了效率,而B则最大限度地吸引了利益攸关方。
230	I am leaning toward A.	我向A倾斜。
231	But what is your opinion?	但你的意见是什么?
232	This framing positions you as a thinking partner rather than someone seeking emotional or	这个框架将你定位为一个思维伴侣而不是寻求情感或
233	caretaking.	照顾。
234	Build arguments systematically and dispassionately.	系统而冷静地建立论据。
235	Clear logic and empirical	明确的逻辑和经验
236	evidence are key.	证据是关键。
237	If our goal is market penetration, then consumer survey research	如果我们的目标是市场渗透, 那么消费者调查研究
238	shows that A is the way to go.	显示A是前进之路。
239	If it's margin improvement, then the financial data indicates	如果这是利润提高,那么财务数据表明
240	that B makes sense.	B说得通
241	This approach respects their need for intellectual control while opening doors	这种做法在打开大门的同时尊重知识控制的需要
242	for collaboration.	合作计划。
243	Accounts indicate that Kissinger practiced the three rupees in his	记录显示基辛格练习了3卢比
244	interactions with Nixon.	与尼克松互动.
245	In the face of the president's volatility, he offered calm,	面对总统的动荡他表示冷静
246	structured analysis.	结构分析。
247	He would publicly reinforce Nixon's sense of control and legitimacy,	他会公开强化尼克松的控制意识和合法性,
248	even when privately pushing for a different course of action.	即使在私人推动不同的行动方针。
249	I've also seems to have employed the three rupees at Apple.	我好像还在苹果公司用过三卢比
250	Instead of pushing jobs into	而不是推动工作
251	open-ended conversations about feelings or team morale, he centered nearly every interaction on	关于感情或团队士气的无限制对话他几乎把每一次互动都集中在
252	the work itself and invited jobs into a highly structured design process, where visits to the	工作本身和邀请工作进入结构严密的设计过程,访问
253	studio revolved around concrete prototypes and clear product questions.	工作室围绕混凝土原型和清晰的产品问题展开.
254	That preserved	保留下来的
255	Jobs' sense of control, while still giving I've regular access to his judgment.	Jobs的掌控感,同时仍然让我能正常了解他的判断.
256	Graham has described receiving similar support from Bradley during the post-S coverage of the	Graham描述在S后报道期间得到布拉德利的类似支持.
257	Pentagon papers and Watergate, unwavering reassurance, regular detailed updates and	五角大楼的文件和水门, 坚定不移的保证, 定期详细更新和
258	thoughtful discussions of his opinions as editor and her choices as publisher.	深思熟虑地讨论了他作为编辑的意见以及她作为出版商的选择.
259	The operations manager we mentioned earlier also received three our guidance from a senior	我们刚才提到的业务经理也得到了我们三位高层的指导
260	colleague who coached him to first give his VP space, interacting through structured emails,	他的同事指导他先给他的VP空间, 通过结构化的电子邮件进行互动,
261	and then to build rapport by focusing on common interests and shared wins before	然后通过关注共同利益和共享赢先建立关系
262	finally proposing solutions in the form of clear options that preserved the VP's autonomy.	最终提出解决方案,其形式是保留了退伍军人自主权的明确选项.
263	The 3R framework is adaptive.	3R框架是适应性的。
264	Some situations require rapid cycling through all three phases,	有些情况需要在所有三个阶段快速循环,
265	while others may need an extended focus on regulation.	另一些国家可能需要扩大对监管的重视。
266	In a hallway escalation with an	在走廊升级与一个
267	insecure coworker, it is possible to move through all three steps in five minutes.	安全无保障的同工,5分钟内就可以走完所有三个步骤.
268	First, a calming comment and steady tone regulate, then a brief affirmation of partnership relate,	首先,冷静的评论和稳健的语气调节,然后简短地申明伙伴关系,
269	and finally, a choice between two options, reason.	最后,在两个选项之间做出选择,理由。
270	But when you're trying to work toward	但当你试图努力
271	major strategic decision with an insecure boss, you might have to spend more time on	和没有安全感的老板一起做出重大战略决策你可能得花更多的时间
272	each of the three rupees.	每三卢比。
273	The point is not to apply a rigid script but to be conscious	关键不是应用僵硬的脚本而是要自觉
274	of which mode you are in and not to skip ahead.	您所在的模式中, 而不是跳过前面。
275	You must read your leader's attachment cues and	你必须读你的领袖的附属提示
276	respond accordingly.	相应回应。
277	Remember too that instinctive patterns intensify under stress.	记住这种本能模式在压力下会加剧
278	When feeling	当感觉
279	pressure, avoidant bosses can become even more distant and controlling, whereas anxious leaders	压力, 避避的老板可能变得更加遥远和控制, 而焦虑的领导人
280	need even more reassurance and are more easily thrown off course.	需要更多的保障,更容易偏离航线。
281	In those moments,	在那些时刻,
282	you need to resist being pulled into their pattern.	你要抵制被拉进他们的图案
283	If you can stay grounded enough to	如果你能保持足够的禁足
284	regulate first, relate second, and reason last, you are far more likely to achieve a constructive	首先,第二,最后,你更有可能实现建设性的
285	outcome.	结果。
286	Whether you're managing up, down, or across, understanding the psychological roots	无论你正在管理上,下,还是跨越, 了解心理根源
287	of insecure behavior can transform how you relate to those displaying it.	不安全的行为可以改变你与那些展示它的人的关系。
288	Instead of labeling a boss,	而不是给老板贴标签
289	peer, or employee as difficult or emotional, you can see dysregulation for what it is,	同事,或员工作为困难或情感, 你可以看到阻力是什么,
290	a psychological state.	心理状态
291	Kissinger's approach to Nixon, Ive's partnership with Jobs,	基辛格对尼克松的态度,我和乔布斯的伙伴关系,
292	and Bradley's relationship with Graham all followed that logic.	布拉德利和格雷厄姆的关系都遵循了这个逻辑.
293	They calmed their leaders	他们平息了他们的领袖
294	insecurities, invested in the relationship before pushing for change, and chose their moments for	不安全感,在推动变革之前投资于关系,并选择了他们的时刻
295	reasoning carefully.	仔细推理
296	You may not be redesigning the iPhone or negotiating treaties alongside	您可能不会重新设计 iPhone 或谈判条约
297	insecure leader or colleague, but the same process applies.	缺乏安全感的领导人或同事,但适用同样的程序。
298	Regulate first.	先规范.
299	Relate next.	接下来再谈
300	Reason last.	最后一个原因
301	Over time that disciplined approach can protect your well-being,	随着时间的推移, 纪律严明的方法可以保护你的福祉,
302	help your team stay steady, and channel a leader's insecurity in ways that serve rather than	帮助你的团队保持稳定, 引导一个领导人的不安全的方式服务而不是
303	undermine the common good. Over time that disciplined approach can protect your well-being,	损害共同利益。随着时间的推移, 纪律严明的方法可以保护你的福祉,

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