【英音】20岁最后悔的几件事 | 英文字幕
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | This is my painting of Venus, the Greek goddess of beauty. | 这是我画的金星,希腊美女神。 |
| 0:03 | The myth goes that she was born from a seashell in the sea, the Dolphin of Zeus, | 传说她来自海中的海贝 宙斯的海豚 |
| 0:07 | and quite importantly, in fully adult form. | 相当重要的是,完全成年。 |
| 0:10 | So she symbolizes a woman who was always mature and who never had to grow up. | 因此,她象征着一个永远成熟,从来就不用长大的女人. |
| 0:16 | Now, unfortunately, this was definitely not the case for me. | 不幸的是,我绝对不是这样的 |
| 0:19 | My twenties have been a period of huge change and discovery, | 我的20多岁时期 发生了巨大的变化和发现 |
| 0:22 | to the point that I would hardly recognize the girl that I was to, | 以至于我几乎认不出我该认识的女孩 |
| 0:25 | three, or God forbid, five years ago. | 3,或者上帝禁止, 五年前。 |
| 0:28 | And although Alain de Porto would say that this is a good thing, | 虽然阿兰·德·波尔图会说这是件好事 |
| 0:30 | because he says that if you are not completely embarrassed | 因为他说如果你不完全尴尬 |
展开字幕全文（473 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | This is my painting of Venus, the Greek goddess of beauty. | 这是我画的金星,希腊美女神。 |
| 2 | The myth goes that she was born from a seashell in the sea, the Dolphin of Zeus, | 传说她来自海中的海贝 宙斯的海豚 |
| 3 | and quite importantly, in fully adult form. | 相当重要的是,完全成年。 |
| 4 | So she symbolizes a woman who was always mature and who never had to grow up. | 因此,她象征着一个永远成熟,从来就不用长大的女人. |
| 5 | Now, unfortunately, this was definitely not the case for me. | 不幸的是,我绝对不是这样的 |
| 6 | My twenties have been a period of huge change and discovery, | 我的20多岁时期 发生了巨大的变化和发现 |
| 7 | to the point that I would hardly recognize the girl that I was to, | 以至于我几乎认不出我该认识的女孩 |
| 8 | three, or God forbid, five years ago. | 3,或者上帝禁止, 五年前。 |
| 9 | And although Alain de Porto would say that this is a good thing, | 虽然阿兰·德·波尔图会说这是件好事 |
| 10 | because he says that if you are not completely embarrassed | 因为他说如果你不完全尴尬 |
| 11 | by the person that you were 12 months ago, | 由你12个月前的人 |
| 12 | then you haven't done enough growing, | 那你没有做足够的成长, |
| 13 | which basically means that I must be the most overgrown adult ever | 这基本上意味着我一定是史上最繁衍的成年人 |
| 14 | if we are measuring this by the amount of cringe or embarrassment for ourselves. | 如果我们用我们自己的尴尬度量这一点 |
| 15 | As I'm still on this journey of self-growth and discovery | 因为我还在自我成长和发现的旅程中 |
| 16 | and changing my mind about things, | 改变我对事物的想法, |
| 17 | I thought let's chat about it all together here with you as a family. | 我想让我们和你们一家人一起谈谈 |
| 18 | Because in my twenties, I've completely changed my mind about life, | 因为20多岁时 我彻底改变了对生活的看法 |
| 19 | about friendships and relationships, about money, about growth, | 关于友谊和关系, 关于金钱, 关于成长, |
| 20 | about self-improvement, at all of these things. | 关于自我改善, 所有这些事情。 |
| 21 | So I thought let's break down the main things | 所以,我想让我们 打破主要的事情 |
| 22 | that I've completely shifted my mindset about. | 我完全改变了我的心态。 |
| 23 | Let's go. | 我们走吧。 |
| 24 | Now, the first thing I've completely changed my mind about | 现在,第一件事 我彻底改变了主意 |
| 25 | is that you always need to be helpful or valuable to people. | 你总是需要帮助 或有价值的人。 |
| 26 | I don't know if this is because I'm the oldest daughter | 我不知道是不是因为我是大女儿 |
| 27 | and I've always been in a role of kind of trying to help other people, | 我一直都在努力帮助别人 |
| 28 | but I've definitely internalized throughout my whole life | 但我的一生绝对是内化的 |
| 29 | this view of your self-worth or your worth is measured by how helpful you are. | 这个关于你自我价值或价值的观点 是以你有多有帮助来衡量的。 |
| 30 | Like, what do I need you for? | 喜欢,我需要你做什么? |
| 31 | What are you useful for? | 你有什么用处? |
| 32 | Can you do something for me? | 你能帮我个忙吗? |
| 33 | And I definitely internalized this in the way that I became almost a fixer | 我绝对是内化的 我几乎成为一个固定者 |
| 34 | and I only recognized this very recently | 我最近才认出这个 |
| 35 | where I thought that unconsciously every time that I would meet someone | 在那里,我想,无意识地,我每次遇到某人 |
| 36 | or every time that I would care about someone, | 或者每次我关心一个人的时候 |
| 37 | the way that I showed my love or affection or attention | 我表达爱 爱 或关注的方式 |
| 38 | is through doing things and helping people. | 是通过做事情和帮助人们。 |
| 39 | As soon as I meet someone and I like them, | 只要我遇到一个喜欢的人 |
| 40 | my mind subconsciously goes to, | 我的思想潜意识去, |
| 41 | oh my god, what do they need help with? | 哦,我的上帝,他们需要什么帮助? |
| 42 | And I'll just ask them, oh, what are you working on? | 我问他们 你在忙什么? |
| 43 | And then I'll try to kind of do some work with them | 然后我会试着和他们合作 |
| 44 | or do some work for them | 或为他们工作 |
| 45 | or just like send them a link to something that might be helpful. | 或只是给他们一个链接 一些可能有用的东西。 |
| 46 | And this is definitely the role that I took | 这绝对是我扮演的角色 |
| 47 | in all of my friendships and relationships so far in my life. | 在我的所有友谊和关系 在我生命中, |
| 48 | In the last two years, I've met a few people in my life | 在过去两年里,我遇到了几个人 |
| 49 | with whom this just didn't work. | 这和谁没有关系 |
| 50 | They would just deflect my attempts to help them | 他们只会转移我帮他们的努力 |
| 51 | because they didn't want it. | 因为他们不想这样 |
| 52 | And this might be very obvious to those of you | 这对你们来说是显而易见的 |
| 53 | who are quite healthy in this regard. | 他们在这方面相当健康。 |
| 54 | But to me, it was the first time in my life | 但对我来说,这是我人生中第一次 |
| 55 | that someone said that they liked to be around me | 有人说他们喜欢在我身边 |
| 56 | as opposed to I was helping them for something. | 而不是我帮了他们什么 |
| 57 | And it completely blew my mind. | 这让我心神不宁 |
| 58 | And I think since then, I've kind of realized | 我想从那时起 我意识到 |
| 59 | how concerning my behavior has been. | 我的行为怎么样? |
| 60 | This has been the thing that kind of uncovered this whole fact | 这件事情已经揭开了 |
| 61 | that my relationships with people | 我和别人的关系 |
| 62 | are completely built around how helpful I can be for them. | 完全围绕我对他们有什么帮助 |
| 63 | And my self-worth is so tied to how helpful or valuable I am | 我的自我价值与我有多有帮助或价值 |
| 64 | as a member of society | 作为社会成员 |
| 65 | or as a person in a friendship or relationship. | 或作为一个在友谊或关系中的人。 |
| 66 | And this is really concerning. | 这是真正相关的。 |
| 67 | I think that self-esteem can fluctuate | 我觉得自尊心会波动 |
| 68 | because sometimes you just don't feel good about yourself | 因为有时你只是觉得自己不好 |
| 69 | and that's fine. | 这没关系。 |
| 70 | But self-worth should not fluctuate | 但自我价值不应该波动 |
| 71 | and my self-worth fluctuates so much | 我的自我价值波动很大 |
| 72 | around how helpful I am for other people. | 我对别人的帮助有多大 |
| 73 | So this is something that I've really changed my mind on | 所以我真的改变主意了 |
| 74 | which is the fact that human beings have inherent value | 这就是人有内在价值的事实 |
| 75 | just by existing. | 只是通过存在。 |
| 76 | They don't need to do things. | 他们不需要做任何事情。 |
| 77 | I don't need to do things to become valuable. | 我不需要做一些事情来成为有价值的。 |
| 78 | I don't need to do things to become likeable. | 我不需要做一些事情 变得喜欢。 |
| 79 | I'm fine just the way I am. | 我没事,只是我的方式。 |
| 80 | And anything else is a cherry on top. | 还有的就是上面的樱桃 |
| 81 | I hope this was blatantly obvious to the rest of you | 我希望你们都明白这一点 |
| 82 | but if it's not, I wish someone would have told this to me | 但如果不是,我希望有人告诉我 |
| 83 | years and years ago that it's fine. | 年复数年前,它很好。 |
| 84 | People can just like you for you | 人们可以喜欢你 |
| 85 | rather than what you give them and what you bring them. | 而不是你们所施舍的,和你们所昭示的。 |
| 86 | And this doesn't always need to be kind of an exchange of value. | 而这并不总是 一种价值交换。 |
| 87 | You have inherent value by yourself. | 你有自己的内在价值 |
| 88 | That should never change. | 这绝不应改变。 |
| 89 | The second thing that I've completely changed my mind about | 第二件事我彻底改变了主意 |
| 90 | is the fact that you need a very clear and defined passion | 其实你需要一个非常明确和明确的激情 |
| 91 | in life in order to be successful. | 在生活中,为了成功。 |
| 92 | When I was younger and I would see interviews | 当我年轻的时候,我会看到采访 |
| 93 | or read biographies of top athletes or singers | 或阅读优秀运动员或歌手的传记 |
| 94 | or musicians or businessmen or anything like this | 音乐家、商人之类的 |
| 95 | they would always say that | 他们总是这么说 |
| 96 | I always knew what I wanted to do from a very young age. | 我从小就知道我想做什么 |
| 97 | It was crystal clear to me that this was my path in life | 我很清楚,这是我人生的道路 |
| 98 | and I took it. | 我把它带走了。 |
| 99 | So I kind of internalized the view that | 所以我把观点内部化了 |
| 100 | in order to be successful you need to know what you want. | 为了成功 你需要知道自己想要什么 |
| 101 | And if you don't know this | 如果你不知道这一点 |
| 102 | then you will obviously never be successful | 那你显然就永远也不会成功 |
| 103 | because if you're just aiming for nothing you will get nowhere. | 因为如果你无所事事 你将无处可逃 |
| 104 | And this really concerned me | 这真的关系到我 |
| 105 | because I had no clear passion in life. | 因为我没有明显的激情生活。 |
| 106 | I like so many completely different things equally | 我同样喜欢很多完全不同的东西 |
| 107 | and it really really stressed me out when I thought | 它真的让我压力很大 当我想 |
| 108 | oh my god I'm never going to be successful | 哦,我的上帝,我永远不会成功 |
| 109 | because I just don't know what I want | 因为我不知道自己想要什么 |
| 110 | and I'm completely hopeless | 我完全没有希望 |
| 111 | and why do I not have this one strong calling | 为什么我没有这个强大的呼唤 |
| 112 | and this one strong passion? | 而这个强烈的激情? |
| 113 | And I genuinely would sit down and write and think | 我真的会坐下来写作思考 |
| 114 | so much around figuring | 这么多在想 |
| 115 | do I like this thing slightly a bit more? | 我更喜欢这个吗? |
| 116 | Could I do this for the rest of my life? | 我能一辈子都这样吗? |
| 117 | Is this my calling? | 这是我的决定吗? |
| 118 | And I just never found it. | 而我只是没有找到它。 |
| 119 | And I've come to the point in my life where I realized that | 我终于意识到 |
| 120 | this is just not true. | 这不是真的 |
| 121 | And yes there are some fields where you cannot get by | 是的,有些田地你无法度过 |
| 122 | without extreme amounts of dedication. | 没有极端的奉献。 |
| 123 | I can't suddenly decide that I want to be an Olympic athlete | 我不能突然决定我想成为奥运运动员 |
| 124 | for next year and apply for that. | 并申请明年。 |
| 125 | That just doesn't happen. | 这不可能 |
| 126 | But with most other things in life | 但是生活中其他的东西 |
| 127 | you don't need to have these levels of dedication | 你不需要有这种程度的奉献 |
| 128 | and sometimes things are not crystal clear | 有时事情并不清晰 |
| 129 | and you don't need to have a single linear path in life. | 你不需要有一条线性的道路 在生活中。 |
| 130 | This is especially true when it comes to my career | 说到我的事业,这是特别真实的 |
| 131 | and I often think that oh my god should I go for this or this? | 我常想,哦,我的上帝 我应该去这个或这个? |
| 132 | And I like these two things equally. | 我同样喜欢这两件事。 |
| 133 | What must I do? | 我该怎么办? |
| 134 | And it seems to be such a tragedy in my mind. | 在我脑海里,这似乎是一场悲剧 |
| 135 | I've come to the point of realizing that | 我开始意识到 |
| 136 | my life doesn't need to have a single career | 我的生活不需要一个职业 |
| 137 | but my life is my career. | 但我的生活是我的事业。 |
| 138 | And I can change, I can shift, I can grow, | 我可以改变,我可以改变,我可以成长, |
| 139 | I can switch around and it doesn't need to be set in stone. | 我可以换个位置 不需要用石头 |
| 140 | So there's no chance I'm going to be | 所以我不可能成为 |
| 141 | one of these super successful people | 这些超级成功的人之一 |
| 142 | but also I don't want to anymore. | 我也不想再这样了 |
| 143 | And I think that was just like a childish dream | 我觉得那就像一个幼稚的梦 |
| 144 | that had a very long time ago. | 这已经是很久以前的事了 |
| 145 | And I don't actually need this quote unquote success | 我其实不需要这句不引证的成功 |
| 146 | that these people have had. | 这些人有。 |
| 147 | Okay the next thing is a very recent one | 好,接下来是最近的事 |
| 148 | that I've changed my mind about. | 我改变主意了 |
| 149 | And that is that being indecisive is a bad thing. | 这就是不果断是件坏事。 |
| 150 | I am famous for being extremely indecisive as a person | 我以一个人的无动于衷而闻名 |
| 151 | and switching my mind from one extreme | 并改变我的想法 从一个极端 |
| 152 | to the other extreme super, super fast. | 到另一个超级超快。 |
| 153 | And I call myself a passionate mind changer | 我自称是一个热情的改变心灵的人 |
| 154 | which basically means I strongly feel one thing | 基本上意味着我强烈地感觉到一件事 |
| 155 | and I'm like, yes, this is amazing. | 我很喜欢,是的,这是惊人的。 |
| 156 | We're going to do this. | 我们要做到这一点。 |
| 157 | And then I let go of that | 然后我就放弃了 |
| 158 | and go for the whole other extreme. | 并去整个另一个极端。 |
| 159 | I go, oh no, no, this other thing is great | 我去,哦,不,不,这另一件事是伟大的 |
| 160 | and I'm going to do this. | 我会做到这一点。 |
| 161 | And I just flip between these so, so fast. | 我只是在中间翻转 如此,如此之快。 |
| 162 | It's been this space since the very start | 从一开始就是这个空间 |
| 163 | with big picture things. | 有大局的东西。 |
| 164 | For example, oh, I want to live in this country. | 例如,我想住在这个国家。 |
| 165 | No, I want to live in this country. | 不,我想住在这个国家。 |
| 166 | I want to be a pure city girl. | 我想成为一个纯洁的城市女孩。 |
| 167 | Girl, no, I want to live in a cottage | 女孩,不,我想住在一个小屋里 |
| 168 | in the woods by myself. | 一个人在树林里 |
| 169 | Oh, I want to be an artist. | 哦,我想成为一个艺术家。 |
| 170 | No, I want to be a doctor. | 不 我想当医生 |
| 171 | I want to be a scientist. | 我想成为一个科学家。 |
| 172 | No, I want to have absolutely never be in the lab. | 不 我想永远不要在实验室里 |
| 173 | So I really, really shift between these things. | 所以我真的,真的 转移这些东西。 |
| 174 | This is why I call my newsletter | 所以我才叫我的通讯 |
| 175 | Strong Opinions loosely held too | 强烈的意见也松散了 |
| 176 | because I genuinely feel so passionate | 因为我真有激情 |
| 177 | and I'm convinced in my mind | 我深信不疑,我心里有数 |
| 178 | that I'm going to do one thing | 我会做一件事 |
| 179 | before my mind completely changes. | 在我的思想完全改变之前 |
| 180 | And this has always been pointed out to be problematic | 这一点一直被指出是有问题的 |
| 181 | because I'm not only indecisive with big picture things. | 因为我不仅对大局不知情 |
| 182 | I'm very indecisive with small things. | 我对一些小事很犹豫 |
| 183 | Like I hate picking what to eat, where to live, | 就像我讨厌挑什么吃, 在哪里生活, |
| 184 | what to do, what to wear. | 怎么办,穿什么。 |
| 185 | I just don't like making choices in general. | 我只是不喜欢做一般的选择。 |
| 186 | And this has always been seen as a negative thing. | 这一直被视作一种负面的东西。 |
| 187 | And I get it. | и笵 |
| 188 | When other people are involved, | 当其他人参与的时候, |
| 189 | it can be really, really bad | 可能真的,真的会很糟 |
| 190 | to completely change your mind about things. | 彻底改变你对事物的看法。 |
| 191 | So I've kind of got to the point | 所以我说到重点了 |
| 192 | where if other people are involved | 如果其他人参与其中 |
| 193 | and I've said I'm going to do one thing, | 我说我要做一件事, |
| 194 | I just end up doing it | 我最终会这么做的 |
| 195 | because I don't want to switch around with others. | 因为我不想和别人交换 |
| 196 | But when it comes to myself, it's quite dangerous. | 但对自己来说,这是相当危险的. |
| 197 | I still do the thing of, | 我仍然这样做, |
| 198 | oh no, I'm going to go to medical school. | 哦,不,我要上医学院。 |
| 199 | I'm not going to go to medical school. | 我不会去医学院。 |
| 200 | I'm going to take a gap year. | 我要花一个空白年。 |
| 201 | I'm not going to take a gap year. | 我不会花一个空白年。 |
| 202 | So I often do this mind switching thing. | 所以我经常做这种思维转换。 |
| 203 | And I used to think that this was a bad thing | 我以前觉得这是件坏事 |
| 204 | I used to try to do exercises | 我以前常练习 |
| 205 | to kind of train myself to be more decisive | 训练自己更果断 |
| 206 | and kind of force myself to make more decisions in general. | 迫使我做出更多的决定 |
| 207 | But I think I've come to the point of realizing | 但我想我已经意识到 |
| 208 | it's actually a superpower to be indecisive | 它实际上是一个超能力 寡不敌众 |
| 209 | because what that has led to is | 因为那导致了什么 |
| 210 | me often making very opposite choices | 我经常做出相反的选择 |
| 211 | means that I have lived life in two extremes | 意味着我生活在两个极端 |
| 212 | very, very often. | 非常,非常经常。 |
| 213 | And I've had to be okay with both of them. | 我不得不接受他们两人 |
| 214 | And I think this has led to me | 我认为这导致了我 |
| 215 | kind of being a lot more calmer as a person | 有点像一个更冷静的人 |
| 216 | and going, well, you know, | 并且,嗯,你知道, |
| 217 | I don't really care what happens. | 我不在乎会发生什么 |
| 218 | And I think I genuinely feel this way very often with things | 我觉得我经常这样感觉 |
| 219 | where no matter what happens in the end, | 不管最后发生了什么 |
| 220 | I'm like, oh, whatever, it's fine. | 我很喜欢,哦,随便,它很好。 |
| 221 | And although this can be quite frustrating | 虽然这很让人沮丧 |
| 222 | if you're the sort of person who says, | 如果你是那种人 谁说, |
| 223 | oh yeah, you know, whatever goes, | 哦,是的,你知道, 无论去, |
| 224 | but I genuinely feel that way that whatever goes | 但我真的觉得不管怎样 |
| 225 | and I feel like I have a lot less resistance | 我觉得我抵抗力小很多 |
| 226 | to what happens to me in life. | 我生命中会发生什么 |
| 227 | And very often I don't have control of things anyway. | 经常我无法控制一切 |
| 228 | So what is the point of trying to make | 那么,有什么意义 试图使 |
| 229 | these big picture decisions? | 这些大局的决定? |
| 230 | Because I genuinely think it's a good thing | 因为我真的觉得这是件好事 |
| 231 | to be able to be genuinely passive | 能够真正被动 |
| 232 | about things that happen to you | 关于发生在你身上的事情 |
| 233 | and kind of go with the flow and feel that, yeah, it's fine. | 和那种随流 并感觉,是的,它的罚款。 |
| 234 | I'm happy either way. | 不管怎么样我都很开心 |
| 235 | So I think this has contributed to my happiness. | 所以我认为这为我的幸福做出了贡献。 |
| 236 | Exercising long-term non-decision making | 长期不作决定 |
| 237 | has contributed toward my happiness. | 为我的幸福做出了贡献。 |
| 238 | So it's a bit of a controversial one. | 故略具争议. |
| 239 | I would love to know your opinions on this, | 我很想知道你对此的看法 |
| 240 | but I genuinely feel this way at the moment. | 但我现在真的有这种感觉 |
| 241 | That is good to kind of be okay with anything. | 做任何事都行,这很好 |
| 242 | So the next thing that I've changed my mind on | 接下来我改变主意了 |
| 243 | is that saving money is a good thing. | 储蓄是好事 |
| 244 | Now, of course, to some extent, | 当然,在某种程度上, |
| 245 | you need to have some money saved in order to be safe. | 为了安全起见 你得省点钱 |
| 246 | And I genuinely do this and I have this still, | 我真正这样做,我还有这个, |
| 247 | but I feel like I took this way too far in the beginning. | 但我觉得自己一开始太过份了 |
| 248 | When I was a medical student, | 我当医科生的时候 |
| 249 | I used to work part-time quite a lot. | 我以前经常做兼职 |
| 250 | My salary was like nine pounds per hour, | 我的薪水就像每小时九磅 |
| 251 | so it was quite low. | 所以这是相当低的。 |
| 252 | And if you work during university, | 如果你在大学工作 |
| 253 | you know what I mean when you are kind of | 你知道我的意思 当你是那种 |
| 254 | putting your money into buckets and being like, | 把钱放进桶里,然后说 |
| 255 | okay, this is my rent, this is my food, | 好吧,这是我的租金,这是我的食物, |
| 256 | and this is my transport, and oh my God, | 这是我的交通工具,哦,我的上帝, |
| 257 | I have no money left, and these kind of calculations. | 我没钱了,还有这种计算 |
| 258 | But when I was a medic, I would still save so much money. | 但当我是一名医生时, 我仍然会节省这么多钱。 |
| 259 | And what I mean so much money, | 我的意思是这么多钱, |
| 260 | it wasn't genuinely a lot. | 并不是很多。 |
| 261 | Like in the end of the year, | 就像年底一样 |
| 262 | I would have a thousand pounds saved | 我本来可以省一千镑的 |
| 263 | and that felt like so much to me and it felt so good. | 感觉我是如此之多 感觉如此之好。 |
| 264 | But in order to do this, | 但为了做到这一点, |
| 265 | I was skipping out on so many experiences. | 我错过了这么多的经验。 |
| 266 | I wasn't going out with my friends. | 我没和朋友约会 |
| 267 | I wasn't eating out almost ever. | 我几乎没出去吃东西 |
| 268 | I wasn't doing anything and I would just save | 我什么也没做,我会救 |
| 269 | all the little money I had in a pot | 我的钱都放在锅里 |
| 270 | because I felt like it was a good thing to save the money. | 因为我觉得省钱是件好事 |
| 271 | I don't think this is a good idea. | 我不认为这是一个好主意。 |
| 272 | I think beyond some basic level of, | 我认为超越一些基本水平, |
| 273 | okay, if I get fired today or if I'm unwell | 好吧,如果我今天被解雇 或者我身体不舒服 |
| 274 | or if I can't work for a while, | 或者如果我暂时不能工作 |
| 275 | I have some money saved. | 我存了些钱 |
| 276 | Beyond that, I don't think it's valuable saving | 除此之外,我不认为这是宝贵的储蓄 |
| 277 | during the time that I was in university. | 在大学期间 |
| 278 | Because 20 or 30 pounds as a university student | 因为作为大学生20到30磅 |
| 279 | is about four or more hours of work | 大约四个或四个以上的工作时间 |
| 280 | and it translates to a very good night out almost. | 这几乎意味着一个非常好的夜晚。 |
| 281 | But as saving this money for the future version of myself | 但为了将来的我 省下这笔钱 |
| 282 | who is potentially earning this money in an hour or less | 可能一小时或不到一小时就能赚到这笔钱 |
| 283 | and it doesn't contribute that much joy to my life, | 它没有为我的生活贡献这么多快乐, |
| 284 | this money is depreciating in value very, very fast | 这笔钱的贬值非常非常非常快 |
| 285 | and it's saved for a future me | 它为未来我而存 |
| 286 | who will not appreciate it anywhere near | 他们几乎不欣赏它, |
| 287 | what I would have at the time. | 我当时会得到的 |
| 288 | So I think at the time, | 所以当时我想 |
| 289 | I wish I would have saved just a little bit of money | 我希望我能省点钱 |
| 290 | to be safe and then beyond that, | 为了安全,然后超越, |
| 291 | I would have kind of had so much more experiences | 我会有这么多的经验 |
| 292 | with the money rather than saving it | 用钱而不是储蓄 |
| 293 | because very, very soon, | 因为很快 |
| 294 | I can save those 1,000 pounds a lot sooner in the future | 以后我早点可以省一千斤 |
| 295 | when I'm actually earning a salary | 当我挣工资的时候 |
| 296 | than I would be saving them when I was in university. | 比我在大学时救他们还多 |
| 297 | So with some caveats, | 所以,有一些警告, |
| 298 | I think saving money as a very young adult | 我想在年轻的时候就省钱了 |
| 299 | is a horrible idea | 真是个可怕的主意 |
| 300 | and that money should rather be spent on experiences | 钱应该花在经验上 |
| 301 | with having some financial safety, of course. | 当然还有财务安全 |
| 302 | The next thing I've completely changed my mind on | 接下来我彻底改变了主意 |
| 303 | is that I can solve all my problems. | 我可以解决所有问题 |
| 304 | I'm very much a problem solver. | 我是一个非常解决问题的人。 |
| 305 | I love to create lists | 我喜欢创建列表 |
| 306 | and to write everything down that I need to do | 写下我需要做的一切 |
| 307 | and then to solve all of these issues | 然后解决所有这些问题 |
| 308 | and kind of I get so much pleasure | 我很高兴 |
| 309 | out of fixing things even for myself. | 甚至为我自己修东西 |
| 310 | However, I feel like this 99% of the time | 然而,我觉得这99%的时间 |
| 311 | is a complete waste of time. | 完全是浪费时间 |
| 312 | The only thing that is guaranteed | 唯一的保证 |
| 313 | is that more problems will arise | 将会出现更多的问题 |
| 314 | and by being a problem solver, | 并作为一个问题解决者, |
| 315 | I genuinely feel that subconsciously | и痷谋眔硂琌潜谋 |
| 316 | I was creating issues and self-sabotaging | 我在制造问题和自我破坏 |
| 317 | to create problems for me to fix so I could feel good. | 给自己制造麻烦 让我感觉好点 |
| 318 | I was associating so much pleasure | 我太喜欢了 |
| 319 | with solving issues rather than just enjoying the moments | 而不是只是享受时光 |
| 320 | and I don't think I was even capable in the past | 我觉得过去我甚至没有能力 |
| 321 | of enjoying the moments in any shape or form. | 以任何形态或形式享受这些时刻。 |
| 322 | I would only get pleasure from solving things, | 我只会从解决问题中得到乐趣 |
| 323 | fixing things, or anticipating | 修补东西,或预测 |
| 324 | the solving of things in the future. | 解决未来的事情。 |
| 325 | So I was so much future-focused, | 所以,我这么多 关注未来, |
| 326 | problem-solving-focused | 注重解决问题 |
| 327 | rather than just sitting down with myself | 而不是只和自己坐下来 |
| 328 | and feeling, oh, things are okay. | 感觉,哦,一切都好。 |
| 329 | I almost never was able to do this | 我几乎从来没有做到这一点 |
| 330 | and I genuinely think that the anticipation of pleasure | 我真心地认为 期待快乐 |
| 331 | is so, so toxic and so pointless. | 如此,如此有毒 如此毫无意义。 |
| 332 | If I think I'm going to be happy once I graduate | 如果我认为我毕业后会快乐 |
| 333 | that is not true | 这不是真的 |
| 334 | because I'm going to have a million more new problems | 因为我还有一百万个新问题 |
| 335 | at the time | 当时 |
| 336 | and that doesn't mean I can't be happy then | 这并不表示我无法幸福 |
| 337 | just as it doesn't mean I can't be happy now. | 这并不意味着我现在不能快乐 |
| 338 | So I genuinely think that everything will be okay | 所以我真心觉得一切都会好起来的 |
| 339 | when you are okay with everything | 当你可以与一切 |
| 340 | and this is just a mindset issue. | 而这只是一个心态问题。 |
| 341 | I have really, really changed my mind into thinking | 我真的,真的改变了我的想法 |
| 342 | if something doesn't genuinely need solving | 如果真的需要解决的话 |
| 343 | because it's a blockage in my life | 因为这是我生命中的障碍 |
| 344 | or because it affects other people, | 或者因为它影响到其他人, |
| 345 | I should just completely ignore this and move on | 我应该完全忽略这一点,继续前进。 |
| 346 | and I've become so much better at kind of living in the moment | 和我已经变得更好 在那种生活在那一刻 |
| 347 | and appreciating what I have | 并欣赏我所拥有的一切 |
| 348 | rather than thinking, oh, this needs to be fixed, | 而不是想,哦, 这需要固定, |
| 349 | that needs to be changed, this needs to be changed, | 需要改变, 这需要改变, |
| 350 | this is not perfect, this is not okay. | 这是不完美的,这是不好的。 |
| 351 | I still struggle with this a lot | 我还在挣扎着呢 |
| 352 | but I'm a lot better than I was in the past. | 但我比过去强多了 |
| 353 | The only exception here is emotional issues. | 这里唯一的例外是情绪问题。 |
| 354 | This I feel completely differently about | 我的感觉完全不同 |
| 355 | because I think that in your 20s | 因为我认为 在你的20多岁 |
| 356 | this is a great time to kind of realize | 这是一个伟大的时间 那种意识到 |
| 357 | how am I overreacting to things? | 我怎么反应过度了? |
| 358 | How am I not okay? | 我怎么不好吗? |
| 359 | How have I been shaped wrong or formed wrong | 我是如何被塑造成错误或形成错误的 |
| 360 | or how am I dysfunctional in my life? | 或我是如何功能失调在我的生活? |
| 361 | And I feel that we have a 100% responsibility at this time | 我觉得我们现在有百分之百的责任 |
| 362 | to work on these things. | 做这些事情。 |
| 363 | This I'm completely brutal about. | 我对此很残忍 |
| 364 | I will, every time I realize that I overreact to something | 我会的,每当我意识到 我反应过度的东西 |
| 365 | or that I'm potentially being not nice to other people | 或者说我对别人不好 |
| 366 | or that I have instincts to not be nice to other people | 或者我本能对别人不友善 |
| 367 | or that I unintentionally do bad things, | 或者我无意中做坏事, |
| 368 | I go, what is happening there? | 我走了,发生什么事了? |
| 369 | Can we just solve this? | 我们能解决吗? |
| 370 | And there are so many resources to do this. | 有很多资源可以做这个。 |
| 371 | In your 20s, I genuinely feel that you really, really | 在你20多岁的时候,我真心觉得,你真的,真的 |
| 372 | have the time and space and the intellectual capacity | 拥有时间、空间和智力 |
| 373 | to kind of reflect on yourself and fix yourself | 有点反省自己 并修复自己 |
| 374 | because there's no excuse to not do this. | 因为没有借口不这样做。 |
| 375 | There are books, there are free YouTube videos, | 有书籍,有免费的YouTube视频, |
| 376 | there's therapy if you can afford it. | 如果你能负担得起,那就进行治疗。 |
| 377 | There's so many things that you can do | 有这么多事情你可以做 |
| 378 | to kind of solve your issues | 解决你的问题 |
| 379 | and to uncover your issues at this time | 并找出你的问题 在这个时候 |
| 380 | that will make you a much more functional adult. | 这会让你成为一个更实用的成年人。 |
| 381 | This is so important, especially if like me, | 这很重要 尤其是像我一样 |
| 382 | you really want to be a parent in the future. | 您真的想成为未来的家长。 |
| 383 | I think understanding as much as you can about yourself | 我想尽量理解你自己 |
| 384 | and about how you were shaped will definitely make you, | 并且关于你是如何被塑造的 肯定会让你, |
| 385 | I think, a much better parent. | 我觉得,一个更好的父母。 |
| 386 | So this is something that I'm really working on in my 20s. | 这是我20多岁时真正在努力的工作。 |
| 387 | So emotional issues are the only thing | 所以只有感情问题 |
| 388 | that I will definitely try to fix as much as I can. | 我一定会尽力修复 |
| 389 | All other issues, I really just kind of ignore them | 其他所有的问题,我真的有点忽略了 |
| 390 | and I try to be happy in the moment. | 我试着在此刻快乐 |
| 391 | The last thing I've changed my mind on | 我改变主意的最后一件事 |
| 392 | is that resilience is a virtue. | 复原能力是一种美德。 |
| 393 | This has been so internalized for me | 这对我来说太内化了 |
| 394 | because when I was younger, I was described this way. | 因为我年轻的时候 被这样描述 |
| 395 | Everyone would be like, | 每个人都会像, |
| 396 | Elizabeth is such a strong girl. | 伊丽莎白是个坚强的女孩 |
| 397 | I'm so proud of you for being so strong. | 我以你这么强壮为荣 |
| 398 | You stick through things so much. | 你总是坚持在事情上。 |
| 399 | You don't complain. | 你没有抱怨。 |
| 400 | Horrible, horrible, horrible stuff. | 可怕的,可怕的,可怕的东西。 |
| 401 | Resilience is not a virtue. | 复原力不是美德。 |
| 402 | Yes, if you are a parent or if you are older | 是的,如果您是父母,或者您年龄较大 |
| 403 | or if you are in kind of extreme circumstances, | 或者如果你处于某种极端的环境下 |
| 404 | being able to stick through things | 能够坚持的东西 |
| 405 | especially for the benefit of multiple other people | 特别是为了其他多人的利益 |
| 406 | can be a good thing. | 也可以是件好事 说吧 |
| 407 | But making it your personality | 但让你的个性 |
| 408 | you can stick through pain is such a toxic thing | 痛得要命,这样就有毒了 |
| 409 | and I definitely, definitely had this. | 我绝对有这个 |
| 410 | I think it kind of ties into the problem-solving thing | 我想这和解决问题有关 |
| 411 | where I would genuinely seek difficult | 在那里我会真正寻求困难 |
| 412 | or toxic environments for me to sit in, | 或有毒的环境 让我坐在那里, |
| 413 | for me to get self-worth and to go like, | 让我得到自我价值 并去喜欢, |
| 414 | oh, I'm so proud of myself for sticking through this | 哦,我太骄傲自己坚持这一点 |
| 415 | and not complaining. | 而不是抱怨。 |
| 416 | Awful, awful, awful. | 糟透了 糟透了 糟透了 糟透了 |
| 417 | There is no pride in this. | 这一点没有骄傲。 |
| 418 | I genuinely now feel that I am proud | 我现在真正感到骄傲 |
| 419 | where I can go, I don't need to deal with this | 我可以去的地方,我不需要处理这个 |
| 420 | and just leave a situation. | 并留下一个情况。 |
| 421 | This is so much better. | 这样好多了 |
| 422 | And I feel that more people should tell each other, | 我觉得更多的人应该告诉对方 |
| 423 | it's fine, it's fine to be a quitter. | 没关系,当戒酒员也不错 |
| 424 | If something is not healthy for you | 如果有东西不适合你 |
| 425 | and it's not contributing to anyone else's happiness | 也无助于别人的幸福 |
| 426 | just leave, absolutely leave. | 离开,绝对离开。 |
| 427 | There is no problem. | 没有问题。 |
| 428 | If you can't afford to leave your house, | 如果你没钱离开你家 |
| 429 | leave your job, leave your career, | 离开你的工作,离开你的事业, |
| 430 | I just wish someone would have told me this | 我只是希望有人告诉我这个 |
| 431 | that you can just go, you know, you'll be fine. | 你可以去,你知道, 你会好起来的。 |
| 432 | Like you can, none of these things are necessary. | 像你一样,这些东西都不是必要的. |
| 433 | And of course there's an extent to which | 当然 也在某种程度上 |
| 434 | you can't just like flick and just go wherever you want | 你不能只是喜欢闪闪发光 然后随便去哪 |
| 435 | and you need to be able to accept the situation | 你必须能够接受这种情况 |
| 436 | that you're in. | 你加入我们了 |
| 437 | But if you sit on the extreme that I sat of going that, | 但如果你坐在我坐的极点上 |
| 438 | oh no, everything is fine. | 哦,不,一切都没事。 |
| 439 | I will just stick through this | 我会坚持下去的 |
| 440 | and I'm such a strong person for doing this. | 我是一个坚强的人 这样做。 |
| 441 | That's completely crazy. | 这是完全疯狂的。 |
| 442 | You can cut people out, you can leave situations. | 你可以切断人,你可以离开情况。 |
| 443 | I wish someone would have told this to me a lot earlier | 我希望有人早点告诉我 |
| 444 | because internalizing the view of being a quitter, | 因为内在的观念 一个退出者, |
| 445 | being such a bad thing | 这么坏的事 |
| 446 | and kind of taking it as a personal insult. | 并把它当作个人的侮辱。 |
| 447 | Everything that doesn't work out is my fault. | 一切不成就皆是我过失. |
| 448 | Why did you not fix this friendship? | 你为什么不修复这种友谊? |
| 449 | Why did you not fix this relationship? | 你为什么不修复这种关系? |
| 450 | Why did you not fix this job? | 为什么你不解决这工作? |
| 451 | Sometimes things are not worth fixing | 有时候事情不值得修复 |
| 452 | and you can just drop and leave and move on with your life. | 你可以直接离开 继续你的生活 |
| 453 | So if you sit on the extreme of identifying | 所以,如果你坐在极端 识别 |
| 454 | with being a strong person, | 作为一个坚强的人, |
| 455 | maybe you need to hear this also. | 也许你也需要听到这个。 |
| 456 | If you're on the other extreme, | 如果你在另一个极端, |
| 457 | this is not advice for you. | 这不是给你的建议。 |
| 458 | Maybe you need to kind of sit in situations longer. | 也许你需要多坐一段时间 |
| 459 | But yeah, I generally think that extreme resilience | 但是,我一般认为极端的适应力 |
| 460 | is not a virtue and is not necessary. | 这不是美德,也不是必要的。 |
| 461 | There's various different books that have helped me | 有不同的书 帮助了我 |
| 462 | on this journey of self-discovery. | 在这个自我发现的旅程中 |
| 463 | I'm actually going to link the short form. | 我实际上要把短表连起来。 |
| 464 | This video is not sponsored, | 这段视频没有赞助 |
| 465 | but I'm going to link the short form kind of summaries | 但我会把简短的总结联系起来 |
| 466 | of these books if you want to have a quick view of them later. | 这些书,如果你想 快速查看它们以后。 |
| 467 | But yeah, otherwise, | 不过是的 否则 |
| 468 | thank you so much for spending this time with me. | 谢谢你这次陪我 |
| 469 | I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. | 希望你今天有美好的休息时间 |
| 470 | Be kind to yourself and others | 对自己和其他人好一点 |
| 471 | and don't believe everything you think. | 不要相信一切你的想法。 |
| 472 | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| 473 | Bye. | 再见。 |
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