【跟着演讲学英语】脱口秀主持人Conan O'Brien(柯
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:05 | Welcome trustees, deans, faculty, alumni, graduates, | 欢迎董事、院长、教职员、校友、毕业生 |
| 0:13 | families, my fellow honorands, Justice Department spies, | 家人,我的荣誉朋友们, 司法部的间谍, |
| 0:20 | and that Uber Eats driver delivering mimosas. | 和Uber吃司机送米莫萨。 |
| 0:24 | As I look upon this gathering of tomorrow's greatest minds, | 当我看着这个明天最伟大的思想聚会时 |
| 0:28 | I'm confident saying there is no less flattering outfit | 我有信心说,有 同样的恭维服 |
| 0:32 | than the cap and gown. | 而不是帽子和礼服。 |
| 0:34 | We all look like the potions professor at Hogwarts. | 我们都像霍格沃茨的药剂教授 |
| 0:39 | Up here on stage, it feels like an AA meeting for druids. | 在这里的舞台上,感觉像一个AA会议 Druids。 |
| 0:47 | I want to thank President Garber for his incredible stewardship | 我要感谢加伯总统的出色领导 |
| 0:50 | of this graduating class. | 这个毕业班的 |
展开字幕全文（425 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Welcome trustees, deans, faculty, alumni, graduates, | 欢迎董事、院长、教职员、校友、毕业生 |
| 2 | families, my fellow honorands, Justice Department spies, | 家人,我的荣誉朋友们, 司法部的间谍, |
| 3 | and that Uber Eats driver delivering mimosas. | 和Uber吃司机送米莫萨。 |
| 4 | As I look upon this gathering of tomorrow's greatest minds, | 当我看着这个明天最伟大的思想聚会时 |
| 5 | I'm confident saying there is no less flattering outfit | 我有信心说,有 同样的恭维服 |
| 6 | than the cap and gown. | 而不是帽子和礼服。 |
| 7 | We all look like the potions professor at Hogwarts. | 我们都像霍格沃茨的药剂教授 |
| 8 | Up here on stage, it feels like an AA meeting for druids. | 在这里的舞台上,感觉像一个AA会议 Druids。 |
| 9 | I want to thank President Garber for his incredible stewardship | 我要感谢加伯总统的出色领导 |
| 10 | of this graduating class. | 这个毕业班的 |
| 11 | Fantastic job, sir. | 干得漂亮,长官 |
| 12 | Really nice. | 真不错 |
| 13 | Normally, I would give you an A plus. | 通常,我会给你一个A加。 |
| 14 | But in keeping with upcoming Harvard policy, | 但根据哈佛大学即将出台的政策 |
| 15 | I'm adjusting your grade to a C minus. | 我让你的成绩调整到C减 |
| 16 | Trust me, it's for the good of the school. | 相信我,这是为了学校的利益 |
| 17 | I will keep my remarks brief because MIT's graduation is also | 因为麻省理工学院的毕业也是 |
| 18 | today, and I want to give you a 15-minute head | 今天,我想给你一个15分钟的头 |
| 19 | start on your job hunt. | 开始打工 |
| 20 | Those nerds down the river won't know what hit them. | 那些在河边的书呆子不会知道是什么袭击了他们 |
| 21 | Also, just a quick announcement after the ceremony. | 还有,仪式后马上宣布 |
| 22 | Tequila shots are on me at the Porcelain Club. | 陶瓷俱乐部的龙舌兰酒要给我 |
| 23 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 24 | You're all invited. | 你们都被邀请了 |
| 25 | Just force your way inside and tell them Conan sent you. | 强迫你进去告诉他们柯南派你来的 |
| 26 | They're an understanding bunch. | 他们是一群理解者 |
| 27 | As we gather here today at this beautiful Tercentenary Theater, | 当我们今天聚集在这里 在一个美丽的三百年剧院, |
| 28 | I am struck by one thought. | 我对一个想法感到惊讶。 |
| 29 | Only someone from Harvard would call this patch of grass | 只有哈佛的人才会叫这草皮 |
| 30 | a Tercentenary Theater. | a 三百周年纪念剧院。 |
| 31 | Just look at this yard, Percival. | 看看这院子,帕西瓦尔 |
| 32 | Just a veritable Tercentenary Theater. | 只是一个真正的三百年剧院。 |
| 33 | Harvard, why use a $5 word when a $50 word will do? | 哈佛,为什么一个50元字会用5元字呢? |
| 34 | It's really nice to be back. | 回来真好 |
| 35 | At the very last place, I used the word querulous | 在最后一个地方,我用 querulous 这个词 |
| 36 | in a sentence. | 在一句话。 |
| 37 | Standing right over there by Widener, I asked someone, | 站在威德纳那边,我问人 |
| 38 | what does querulous mean? | 夸张是什么意思? |
| 39 | Fortunately, they knew the answer | 幸好他们知道答案 |
| 40 | because it was a Yale student. | 因为那是耶鲁大学的学生 |
| 41 | Man, they're good. | 男人,他们是很好的。 |
| 42 | Oh, please. | 哦,请。 |
| 43 | Please. | 请 |
| 44 | Let us not denigrate our fellow Ivies. | 让我们不要贬低我们的爱维兄弟。 |
| 45 | Let's admit that all seven are worthy institutions. | 承认七大都是有价值的机构. |
| 46 | Except for Princeton, those people are absolute tools. | 除了普林斯顿,那些人是绝对的工具。 |
| 47 | What the hell's going on over there? | 那边到底怎么了? |
| 48 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 49 | As I stand here, I'm flooded with so many rich memories | 当我站在这里,我充满了这么多丰富的记忆 |
| 50 | of this campus and especially of my dear beloved | 特别是我亲爱的爱人 |
| 51 | Mather House. | 马瑟之家. |
| 52 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 53 | Yeah, that's enough. | 对,够了 |
| 54 | Mather was named after former Harvard president, | 马瑟以哈佛大学前校长的名字命名 |
| 55 | Increase Mather, who was an infamous figure | 增加马瑟,他是名人 |
| 56 | in the Salem witch trials. | 在萨利姆女巫的审判。 |
| 57 | And if any of you spent more than an hour in Mather House, | 如果你们谁在马瑟楼待了一个多小时 |
| 58 | you know, the witches got the last laugh. | 女巫们最后才笑了 |
| 59 | It's such an ugly building. | 这是这么丑陋的建筑。 |
| 60 | Okay, I'm sorry. | 好吧,对不起。 |
| 61 | Just tear it down, start again. | 把它拆掉,再来一次 |
| 62 | All right, here we go. | 好了,开始了。 |
| 63 | Of course, we all make jokes about our school, | 当然,我们都在开玩笑 |
| 64 | but Harvard is still our nation's oldest | 但哈佛还是我们国家最古老的 |
| 65 | and most renowned seed of higher learning. | 和最有名的高等教育种子。 |
| 66 | And today, you are the 375th graduating class. | 今天,你是第375届毕业生 |
| 67 | Yes. | 对 |
| 68 | Did you know that the first graduating class | 你知道第一个毕业班吗? |
| 69 | in 1642 had only nine students? | 1642年只有九名学生? |
| 70 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 71 | And somehow even they were all legacies. | 不知何故,他们都是遗产。 |
| 72 | That's hard to do. | 这很难做。 |
| 73 | No university in our nation has produced | 我们国家没有一所大学 |
| 74 | more Nobel laureates or white collar criminals. | 更多诺贝尔奖得主或白领罪犯。 |
| 75 | So whether you choose good or evil, | 无论你选择善恶, |
| 76 | know that you are among the very best. | 知道你是最优秀的。 |
| 77 | Harvard is indeed an impressive place. | 哈佛的确是一个令人印象深刻的地方。 |
| 78 | Today, this university honors 13 esteemed colleges | 今天,这所大学 荣获13个受人尊敬的学院 |
| 79 | and I salute all of you, each and everyone. | 我向你们每个人致敬 |
| 80 | Now, of course, don't push it. | 现在,当然,不要推它。 |
| 81 | Of course, this includes the Harvard School | 当然,这包括哈佛学校 |
| 82 | of Dental Medicine. | 牙科医学 |
| 83 | Yes, yeah. | 对,对。 |
| 84 | And let me tell you something. | 让我告诉你一件事。 |
| 85 | When Harvard dentists say you may rinse and spit, | 当哈佛牙医说你可以冲洗和吐口水时 |
| 86 | they say it in Latin. | 他们用拉丁语说 |
| 87 | I wasn't gonna do that joke, | 我不会做那个笑话, |
| 88 | but the dental school said they'd give me free veneers | 但牙医学校说他们会给我免费的 |
| 89 | if I gave them a shout out. | 如果我叫他们出来。 |
| 90 | No, I take my assignment today seriously | 不,我今天的工作很认真 |
| 91 | and in preparation for this speech, | 为了准备这次演讲, |
| 92 | I asked the provost office for intel on all your concerns | 我问总办办公室要了解你所有的问题 |
| 93 | and I was told the following. | 我被告知如下。 |
| 94 | You're obsessed with doing laundry now that it's free. | 你沉迷于洗衣服 现在,它是免费的。 |
| 95 | You bemoan the lack of fresh berries. | 你为缺乏新鲜的浆果而呻吟 |
| 96 | You're upset that not all the dining halls | 你不高兴 不是所有的餐厅 |
| 97 | have hot breakfast. | 吃热早餐。 |
| 98 | And you're alarmed that the Kennedy School | 你对肯尼迪学校感到震惊 |
| 99 | has stopped providing complimentary coffee. | 不再提供辅佐性的咖啡 |
| 100 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 101 | If these are indeed your concerns, you sicken me. | 如果这些确实是你关心的, 你让我恶心。 |
| 102 | Half those complaints are things you'd hear | 一半的抱怨都是你会听到的 |
| 103 | from a brown bear. | 从棕熊。 |
| 104 | More berries. | 更多浆果. |
| 105 | Before I continue, there is one thing I must acknowledge. | 在我继续之前,我必须承认一件事。 |
| 106 | For your entire academic lives, | 在整个学术生活中 |
| 107 | you have been lectured to by lots and lots | 你们曾受许多教训, |
| 108 | of old white men. | 白人老头 |
| 109 | And now, when you are minutes from getting out the door, | 现在,当你离开门还有几分钟 |
| 110 | Harvard is saying, not so fast. | 哈佛说,不要这么快。 |
| 111 | We found one more. | 我们又找到了一个 |
| 112 | He graduated 41 years ago and he's not just white, | 他毕业于41年前 而且他不只是白人 |
| 113 | but shockingly white. | 但令人震惊的白色。 |
| 114 | Indirect sunlight, you can see his bones. | 间接阳光,你可以看到他的骨头。 |
| 115 | Well, I may be old and white, but let me assure you, | 好吧,我可能老了,白人, 但我向你保证, |
| 116 | I still fit in seamlessly with the long list | 我仍然与长名单无缝 |
| 117 | of Nobel laureates, heads of state, | 诺贝尔奖得主、国家元首、 |
| 118 | and civil rights activists | 和公民权利活动家 |
| 119 | who have given this commencement address. | 他们已经提供了这个开始地址。 |
| 120 | Now, sure, we did great things, | 现在,当然,我们做了伟大的事情, |
| 121 | but only I play a talking potty training gadget | 不过只有我演一个会说话的马屁精 |
| 122 | named Smarty Pants in the upcoming Toy Story 5 | 在即将到来的玩具故事5中命名为 Smarty Pants |
| 123 | in theaters everywhere on June 19th. | 在6月19日的剧院里 |
| 124 | Did Winston Churchill do that? | 是温斯顿·丘吉尔干的吗? |
| 125 | He did not. | 他没有。 |
| 126 | Former German Chancellor Angela Merkel, | 德国前总理安格拉·默克尔 |
| 127 | well, she did audition, | 她的确试镜了 |
| 128 | but testing showed she frightened children. | 但测试显示她吓坏了孩子 |
| 129 | Yes, I graduated 40 years ago, | 是的 我40年前毕业了 |
| 130 | but I promise you your lives here | 但我保证你在这里的生活 |
| 131 | were no different than mine was in 1981. | 和1981年一样 |
| 132 | Like you, I too had to put an extra long cord | 像你一样,我也得加一条长线 |
| 133 | on my dorm phone so I could cook my lean cuisine | 在我的宿舍电话上,我可以做我的瘦菜 |
| 134 | while talking to my friends about Mr. T. | 和我的朋友谈T先生 |
| 135 | Like you, I know the pain of losing my place | 像你一样,我知道失去位置的痛苦 |
| 136 | on the Ms. Pac-Man leaderboard | 在Pac-Man女士的领导板上 |
| 137 | because I was too busy buying an erase cartridge | 因为我正忙着买个擦黑盒 |
| 138 | for my Smith Corona typewriter. | 为我的史密斯科罗纳打字机。 |
| 139 | Yes, we are all bound by these ancient common truths. | 是的,我们都受这些古老的共同真理的约束。 |
| 140 | Now, of course, I understand the unprecedented difficulties | 现在,当然,我理解前所未有的困难 |
| 141 | you face today, including AI. | 包括人工智能 |
| 142 | Yeah, I know, I know. | 对,我知道,我知道 |
| 143 | Luckily, AI is not a problem at Harvard. | 幸运的是,在哈佛,AI不是一个问题。 |
| 144 | Here, professors have been able | 在这里,教授们已经做到了 |
| 145 | to quickly flag students' use of AI | 快速标注学生使用AI |
| 146 | thanks to the sophisticated AI software | 由于精密的AI软件 |
| 147 | they use to grade papers. | 他们用在等级论文。 |
| 148 | It all works out. | 皆能通达. |
| 149 | Yeah, and don't worry, despite your fears, | 是啊 别担心 尽管你害怕 |
| 150 | trust me when I say AI cannot replace you. | 相信我 我说AI不能代替你 |
| 151 | Yes, yes, yes. | 对,对,对。 |
| 152 | It'll be too busy replacing those creeps from Princeton. | 它会太忙 取代那些爬行 从普林斯顿。 |
| 153 | Anyway, of course, perhaps the biggest issue | 无论如何,当然,也许最大的问题 |
| 154 | facing this institution is that the federal government | 面对这个机构,联邦政府 |
| 155 | of the United States is suing our university. | 美国正在起诉我们的大学。 |
| 156 | Yeah, many people think I've come today to defend Harvard. | 是的,许多人认为我今天来是为了保护哈佛大学 |
| 157 | Well, sorry, those people are wrong. | 抱歉 那些人错了 |
| 158 | Not only am I not against these lawsuits, | 我不仅不反对这些诉讼 |
| 159 | I'm here to announce that I'm joining them. | 我是来宣布加入他们的 |
| 160 | I, too, am suing Harvard. | 我也起诉哈佛大学 |
| 161 | I'm suing Harvard for the cast iron bunk bed | 我起诉哈佛的铁床铺 |
| 162 | that greeted me upon my arrival at Hallworthy 16 | 我到达霍尔沃西16号时,他向我问候 |
| 163 | my freshman year, a bed that has since been confiscated | 我大一那张床被没收了 |
| 164 | by the Hague as an instrument of divine cruelty. | 作为神圣残酷的工具 |
| 165 | I'm suing Harvard for allowing me to sign up | 我控告哈佛大学允许我报名 |
| 166 | for a 9 a.m. class at the Science Center | 上午9时在科学中心上课 |
| 167 | and a 10 a.m. class down at Soldier's Field. | 和上午10点在士兵场下课 |
| 168 | For God's sakes, I was a child! | 看在上帝的份上,我还是个孩子! |
| 169 | I'm suing Harvard for my less than spectacular | 我告哈佛大学我不够壮观 |
| 170 | undergraduate sex life, for me having a three-way man | 性生活本科生,我有一个三行男子 |
| 171 | adding a second mirror to my dorm. | 在我的宿舍里加一面镜子 |
| 172 | I'm suing Harvard because once I had to listen | 我起诉哈佛,因为一旦我不得不听 |
| 173 | to the Harvard Crocodillos do an eight-minute rendition | 到哈佛鳄鱼队做8分钟的引渡 |
| 174 | of Splish Splash, I Was Taken a Bath, | 喷洒的喷洒,我被洗浴, |
| 175 | my god, each one took a solo, and it was awful. | 哦,我的上帝,每个人都独唱, 这是可怕的。 |
| 176 | And finally, I'm suing Harvard because, | 最后,我起诉哈佛,因为 |
| 177 | and this is absolutely true, in the spring | 这绝对是真的,在春天 |
| 178 | of my sophomore year, while trying to grab | 我大二的时候, 试图抓住 |
| 179 | a quick lunch at Adam's house, I was served a meal. | 在亚当家吃个快餐,我得到了一顿饭。 |
| 180 | I was served a meal called Captain Ben's Fish Spaghetti. | 我吃过一顿叫班队长的鱼面 |
| 181 | To this day, I have no idea who Captain Ben is | 直到今天,我不知道谁是班队长 |
| 182 | or why someone would combine government-issued cod | 或者为什么有人会把 政府发行的鳕鱼 |
| 183 | with spaghetti. | 还有意大利面 |
| 184 | Harvard, I'll see your ass in court. | 哈佛,我会看到你的屁股在法庭上。 |
| 185 | Yes, I'm confident that my claims will have more merit | 是的,我相信我的要求会更有价值 |
| 186 | than those filed by the President of the United States. | 比那些美国总统提出的。 |
| 187 | Yes, as you are aware, the current administration | 是的,如你所知,现任政府 |
| 188 | feels Harvard admits too many foreign students, | 觉得哈佛录取了太多外国学生 |
| 189 | and who knows, they may have a point. | 谁知道呢,他们也许有道理。 |
| 190 | After all, what has any foreigner ever added | 毕竟,任何外国人都说 |
| 191 | to our American culture? | 我们的美国文化? |
| 192 | With the possible exception of music, literature, art, | 除了音乐,文学,艺术, |
| 193 | cuisine, fashion, architecture, dance, | 美食 时尚 建筑 舞蹈 |
| 194 | scientific breakthroughs in the core of our moral codes | 我们道德准则核心的科学突破 |
| 195 | and ethical beliefs. | 和伦理信仰。 |
| 196 | Seriously, serious, if foreigners hadn't gummed up the works, | 说真的,说真的,如果外国人没有 口香糖的作品, |
| 197 | right now, we'd all be listening to delightful | 现在,我们都在听 |
| 198 | Calvinist reggae, eating savory Church of England ziti, | 加尔文主义的雷鬼 吃英国的美味教堂 |
| 199 | and dancing the forbidden and sexually-charged | 跳舞 禁止和性侵 |
| 200 | Lutheran lombada, but let me assure you, | 隆巴达路德会 但我向你保证 |
| 201 | I did not come here simply to toss off some jokes | 我不是来开玩笑的 |
| 202 | about my alma mater. | 关于我的母校。 |
| 203 | I mean, that was the main reason. | 我的意思是,这是主要的原因。 |
| 204 | But I really do, really do love this school. | 但我真的很喜欢这所学校 |
| 205 | It changed my life. | 这改变了我的生活。 |
| 206 | The day I told my bedridden grandmother, | 那天我告诉我睡着的奶奶 |
| 207 | a woman who had never had the opportunity to go to college, | 一个从未有机会上大学的女人, |
| 208 | that I had been accepted to Harvard, | 我被哈佛大学录取 |
| 209 | and seeing her weep is one of the happiest days of my life. | 看到她哭泣是我生命中最快乐的日子之一 |
| 210 | Of course, it turned out I was sitting on her leg, | 当然,结果我坐在她的腿上 |
| 211 | but I knew in addition to the pain, she felt real joy. | 但我知道除了痛苦之外 她感觉很快乐 |
| 212 | And I felt joy as well, | 我也感到欢乐 |
| 213 | especially when I sat here at my commencement in 1985. | 尤其是我1985年开始坐在这里的时候 |
| 214 | I understand, I really understand how much hard work | 我理解,我真的理解 多么艰苦的工作 |
| 215 | it took for all of you to get to this point. | 你们都到了这个地步 |
| 216 | And you should feel enormous pride, just as I did. | 你应该像我一样感到骄傲 |
| 217 | On my commencement day, I was content | 开始那天,我很满意 |
| 218 | if my Harvard degree was the first thing | 如果我的哈佛学位是第一件事 |
| 219 | people knew about me. | 人们知道我。 |
| 220 | But what I have found after all these years | 但是这些年来我发现的 |
| 221 | is that I am fine with Harvard being the last thing | 哈佛是最后一件事 我不介意 |
| 222 | anyone knows about me. | 谁都知道我 |
| 223 | This is not a diss on this institution in any way. | 这绝不是对本机构的破坏。 |
| 224 | I just believe that status, even when it's hard won, | 我只是相信这种状态 即使很难赢 |
| 225 | can be double-edged. | 可双刃. |
| 226 | When I started my career hosting a late night talk show, | 当我开始我的职业生涯 主持一个深夜脱口秀, |
| 227 | there was no internet. | 没有互联网。 |
| 228 | The only thing the media knew about Conan O'Brien | 只有媒体知道柯南·奥布莱恩的事 |
| 229 | was that he went to Harvard. | 他上过哈佛 |
| 230 | That association may have been fine | 这个协会可能很好 |
| 231 | if I were a burgeoning philosopher or physicist, | 如果我是一个新兴的哲学家或物理学家, |
| 232 | but for a comedian, that was a death knell. | 但对于一个喜剧演员来说 那是个死亡钟 |
| 233 | People thought the name of my show would be Late Night | 人们以为我节目的名字是深夜 |
| 234 | with He Thinks He's Better Than You, | 他觉得他比你强 |
| 235 | which I would have gone with, but it didn't fit on the shirt. | 我本来会去的,但它不适合在衬衫上。 |
| 236 | All these years later, Harvard is far, | 这么多年后,哈佛已经很遥远了 |
| 237 | far from the very first thing people think of | 远非人们最初想到的 |
| 238 | when they hear my name. | 当他们听到我的名字。 |
| 239 | I have made 10,000 hours of content, | 我做了一万个小时的内容, |
| 240 | and none of it screams Ivy League education. | 没有一个会尖叫常春藤联盟的教育。 |
| 241 | That's right, I'm the man who went on Hot Ones | 没错,我是那个热门的 |
| 242 | and rubbed hot sauce on my nipples. | 在我的乳头上涂热酱 |
| 243 | I shopped for weed with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. | 我和Kevin Hart和冰块一起买大麻 |
| 244 | I got drunk in an American Girl doll store. | 我在一家美国女孩娃娃店喝醉了 |
| 245 | I've done many things no man should do, | 我做过很多不该做的事 |
| 246 | and all of this was before I became | 这一切都是我成为前 |
| 247 | a Pixar potty training toy. | a 皮克斯陶器训练玩具。 |
| 248 | Now, some of you may think, well, that's comedy, Conan. | 你们有些人可能会认为,那是喜剧,柯南。 |
| 249 | How does that apply to me? | 这对我有什么影响? |
| 250 | And to you, I say, how dare you interrupt? | 对你,我说,你怎么敢打断? |
| 251 | I'm giving a commencement address. | 我给出一个开始地址。 |
| 252 | Yes, my challenges were unique to me, | 是的,我的挑战对我来说是独一无二的, |
| 253 | but I found that any single achievement, | 但我发现任何单一的成就, |
| 254 | like a Harvard diploma, becomes less important to me | 像哈佛毕业证书一样 对我而言就不那么重要了 |
| 255 | in all the very best ways | 尽一切可能 |
| 256 | when I embrace certain principles. | 当我接受某些原则时 |
| 257 | The first is that I endeavor to always remind myself | 第一,我努力提醒自己 |
| 258 | that I have done absolutely nothing alone. | 我绝对没有独自做任何事情。 |
| 259 | Walt Whitman wrote, I contain multitudes. | 沃尔特·惠特曼写道,我有很多 |
| 260 | Well, I contain a breakfast sandwich | 嗯,我有一个早餐三明治 |
| 261 | and an iced coffee from Tate, | 和泰特的冰咖啡, |
| 262 | but whatever I have achieved has been with the help | 但无论我取得了什么成就 都得到了帮助 |
| 263 | of an infinitely packed clown car of multitudes. | 一辆无穷无尽的小丑车 |
| 264 | If I could invite everybody, alive or dead, | 如果我能邀请所有人,无论死活, |
| 265 | who has contributed to my being | 他为我的存在做出了贡献 |
| 266 | your commencement speaker today, | 今天你的开场白 |
| 267 | all of Cambridge and half of Alston | 全剑桥和奥尔斯顿的一半 |
| 268 | would be crammed shoulder to shoulder | 会被挤在肩上 |
| 269 | with friends, family, well-wishers, | 与朋友,家人,好心人, |
| 270 | writers, producers, haters, fans, | 作家,制片人,仇恨者,粉丝, |
| 271 | and a billion chance encounters. | 和十亿的机会相遇。 |
| 272 | Recognizing that my accomplishments are not just my own | 承认我的成就不仅仅是我自己 |
| 273 | has given me much needed balance throughout my life, | 给了我一生中最需要的平衡 |
| 274 | and it really helps to spread the blame around | 这真的有助于把责任分散开来 |
| 275 | when things go south. | 当事情向南发展。 |
| 276 | Another thing I learned to do | 还有一件事我学会了做 |
| 277 | that has saved me repeatedly is to pivot. | 拯救了我无数次... ... |
| 278 | I have had to course correct so many times in my career | 我职业生涯中多次都得改正 |
| 279 | that my path is a crazed tangles of zigs and zags. | 我的道路是疯狂的缠绕 扎吉和扎吉。 |
| 280 | I famously lost a job that meant the world to me, | 我失去了一份对我很重要的工作 |
| 281 | and then years later, I saw the entire format | 几年后,我看到了整个格式 |
| 282 | of late night television, | 深夜电视, |
| 283 | something that I had dedicated my career to, | 我曾经为这个事业献身 |
| 284 | start to evaporate. | 开始蒸发。 |
| 285 | So at the suggestion of a very smart friend, | 所以,根据一个非常聪明的朋友的建议, |
| 286 | I started a podcast. | 我开始播客。 |
| 287 | I actually had to stain for the project | 其实我不得不在项目上涂污 |
| 288 | until with the help of guests, collaborators, | 直到在客人、合作者的帮助下, |
| 289 | and an assistant addicted to gummies, | 和一个对口香糖上瘾的助手 |
| 290 | I made something I love just as much, | 我做了我同样喜欢的东西, |
| 291 | if not more than my late night show. | 如果不超过我的深夜表演。 |
| 292 | I have had to pivot like this so many times | 我不得不这样摇摆过很多次 |
| 293 | that I've come to really love pivoting, | 我来到了真正爱的支点, |
| 294 | and I use the word pivot much more than I should | 我用这个词的支点 比我本该多得多 |
| 295 | in conversation and commencement speeches, | 在谈话和演讲中 |
| 296 | and now I pivot to my next truth. | 现在我决定下一个真相 |
| 297 | I always recognize the enormous role of luck in my life. | 我总是认识到幸运在我生命中的巨大作用. |
| 298 | Refusing to see how luck has played a role | 拒绝看运气如何发挥作用 |
| 299 | in anyone's success is simply ignorant. | 任何人的成功都是无知的。 |
| 300 | Many people are happy to mistake a lucky poker hand | 很多人都乐于误用幸运牌手 |
| 301 | for their own brilliance, | 因为他们的聪明, |
| 302 | and fighting that human instinct has kept me sane. | 与人类本能斗争 让我保持了理智 |
| 303 | I honestly believe that community, spontaneity, | 我真的相信这个社区,自发性, |
| 304 | and a real commitment to humility | 和真正的谦卑承诺 |
| 305 | has helped me build a rich life | 帮助我过上富贵的生活 |
| 306 | that means much more to me than any diploma. | 这对我比任何文凭都重要 |
| 307 | And believe me, I'm not saying the goal | 相信我,我不是说目标 |
| 308 | is to renounce accomplishments, | 放弃成就, |
| 309 | but rather to metabolize them. | 而不是代谢它们。 |
| 310 | If you carry your victories lightly, | 如果你轻轻地带着胜利 |
| 311 | other qualities, kindness, originality, | 其他品质 善良 独创性 |
| 312 | courage, humor, and humanity have room to emerge. | 勇气、幽默和人性都有出现的余地。 |
| 313 | Maybe, maybe, maybe the greatest lessons I've learned | 也许,也许,也许, 这是我学到的最大教训 |
| 314 | along these lines have been through my 24 travel shows. | 我24个旅行节目都看过 |
| 315 | I have degraded myself in Cuba, Ghana, Korea, Armenia, | 在古巴、加纳、韩国、亚美尼亚,我自卑了 |
| 316 | half of Europe, Argentina, Thailand, Mexico, and Greenland, | 欧洲半数、阿根廷、泰国、墨西哥和格陵兰, |
| 317 | where I visited a real estate office | 我去过一个房地产办公室 |
| 318 | and tried to buy the country. | 并试图购买国家。 |
| 319 | When I travel to another land, | 当我去别的地方时 |
| 320 | every quality I have discussed, community, adaptation, | 我讨论过的每一个质量,社区,适应, |
| 321 | and a sincerely humble approach are all necessary. | 和真诚的谦卑态度都是必要的。 |
| 322 | When you don't speak the language, | 当你不说语言, |
| 323 | no one truly cares where you went to college | 没有人真正在乎你在哪里上大学 |
| 324 | and you have no choice but to make friends. | 你别无选择,只能交朋友 |
| 325 | It's on these travels that I learned a great lesson. | 我从这些旅行中学到了一个伟大的教训。 |
| 326 | Let yourself be bad at things. | 让你自己做坏事吧 |
| 327 | I have been a bad dancer in every country I have visited, | 我去过的每一个国家我都是个坏舞者 |
| 328 | but the people laugh because it turns out | 但人们却笑着说 |
| 329 | everyone everywhere is related | 到处都有亲戚 |
| 330 | to at least one terrible dancer. | 给至少一个可怕的舞者 |
| 331 | For me, humility on these trips | 对我来说,谦卑的这些旅行 |
| 332 | can easily lead to humiliation, which is also a useful tool. | 很容易导致羞辱,这也是有用的工具。 |
| 333 | Three weeks ago, I visited Amsterdam, | 三周前,我访问了阿姆斯特丹 |
| 334 | dressed up as Van Gogh, | 装扮成梵高 |
| 335 | and forced my way into the Van Gogh Museum, | 强迫我进入梵高博物馆 |
| 336 | where I started loudly demanding a cut of the merchandising | 在那里,我开始大声要求削减 交易 |
| 337 | because I made no money during my lifetime. | 因为我这辈子没赚钱 |
| 338 | Guards forcibly ejected me. | 警卫们强行驱逐我 |
| 339 | I was roundly mocked by patrons for my pathetic display, | 我被赞助人嘲弄为我可悲的表演 |
| 340 | but I did see a lot of smiles. | 但我确实看到很多笑容 |
| 341 | And not one person said, now that's a Harvard grad. | 没有人说,现在是哈佛大学毕业。 |
| 342 | In Tokyo, I met with a teacher of Japanese etiquette | 在东京,我认识了一位日本礼仪老师 |
| 343 | who volunteered I wasn't her type. | 谁自愿我不是她喜欢的类型。 |
| 344 | And when I asked her why, she just said, face. | 当我问她为什么,她只是说,脸。 |
| 345 | In Ghana, after accepting a royal invitation, | 在加纳,在接受皇家邀请后 |
| 346 | I was kicked out of the Ashanti Palace by the Queen Mother | 我被太后赶出阿散蒂宫 |
| 347 | because her favorite soap opera was starting. | 因为她最喜欢的肥皂剧已经开始了 |
| 348 | I understand that I am preaching modesty and connection | 我理解我在宣扬谦虚和联系 |
| 349 | at a time when this is not in style. | 此时,这不是风格。 |
| 350 | We are living through a period of extreme narcissism. | 我们生活在极端自恋的时期。 |
| 351 | Our current leadership in Washington | 我们华盛顿的现任领导 |
| 352 | believes that empathy is a weakness | 认为同情是弱点 |
| 353 | and that our nation stands supreme and alone. | 我们的国家是至高无上的,是孤独的。 |
| 354 | Add to that, everyone here today has a phone in their pocket | 此外,今天在座的每个人都有一个电话在口袋里 |
| 355 | that is algorithmically programmed to celebrate you | 算法程序来庆祝你 |
| 356 | and you alone by making you the protein-maxing hero | 你独自一人 让你成为蛋白质大英雄 |
| 357 | of your own special journey. | 你自己的特殊旅程。 |
| 358 | Much has been written about how isolated | 已经写了很多关于 如何孤立 |
| 359 | and siloed we've become, | 和仓储我们已经成为, |
| 360 | but for me, the antidote is quite simple. | 但对我来说,解药很简单 |
| 361 | By de-emphasizing what makes us special, | 通过去强调什么让我们特别, |
| 362 | in your case, a prize degree, | 在你的情况下,一个大奖学位, |
| 363 | we can really find one another, | 我们真的可以找到对方, |
| 364 | not as an exercise in virtue, | 不是一种善行, |
| 365 | but as a path towards greater laughter, love, | 但作为通往更大的欢笑和爱的道路, |
| 366 | and real growth. | 和真正的增长。 |
| 367 | And believe me, I struggle daily with my own pretensions. | 相信我,我每天都在自欺欺人 |
| 368 | I am aware that I am telling you to transcend your glories | 我知道,我告诉你 超越你的荣耀 |
| 369 | as I stand on this stage, | 当我站在这个舞台上, |
| 370 | accepting a doctorate I didn't really earn, | 接受博士学位,我真的没有挣到, |
| 371 | well-dressed like a 12th century pope. | 穿得像12世纪的教皇 |
| 372 | Big surprise, I have a giant ego. | 大惊喜,我有一个巨大的自我。 |
| 373 | I mean, come on, | 我的意思是,来吧, |
| 374 | the titles of my shows have been | 我节目的标题是 |
| 375 | A Late Night with Conan O'Brien, | 深夜与柯南奥布莱恩, |
| 376 | The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, | 今晚与柯南·奥布莱恩的表演, |
| 377 | Conan, where'd I think of that one, | 柯南,我从哪想出来的? |
| 378 | Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, | 柯南·奥布莱恩需要朋友 |
| 379 | and Conan O'Brien Must Go. | 和柯南奥布莱恩必须去。 |
| 380 | I fought like hell to have today's ceremony named | 我为今天的仪式而拼命奋斗 |
| 381 | Conan O'Brien Presents, | 柯南·奥布莱恩的礼物 |
| 382 | The Harvard Commencement Starring Conan O'Brien. | 哈佛大学开学典礼主演柯南·奥布莱恩. |
| 383 | Yeah, let's get that done. | 是啊,让我们做到这一点。 |
| 384 | So when I realized that my message today | 所以当我意识到今天的信息 |
| 385 | would be about the rejection of honor and status, | 是关于拒绝荣誉和地位, |
| 386 | did I consider for a second turning this doctorate down? | 我考虑过第二次拒绝博士学位了吗? |
| 387 | Did I say, no, President Garber, | 我说了没有,加伯总统 |
| 388 | my achievements are not my own, I must decline. | 我的成就不是我的,我必须拒绝。 |
| 389 | Hell no, not for a second. | 地狱没有,没有一秒钟。 |
| 390 | My grandfather, who everyone called Hoofer, | 我爷爷,大家都叫胡佛 |
| 391 | and who had to drop out of the seventh grade | 和谁不得不 退出七年级 |
| 392 | to support his parents, | 养家糊口 |
| 393 | was a traffic cop in Worcester, Massachusetts. | 是马萨诸塞州伍斯特的交通警察 |
| 394 | Yeah, and he had a saying, | 是啊,他有一个说法, |
| 395 | take what you can get and ask for more. | 拿走你能得到的 并且要求更多。 |
| 396 | Very wise man. | 非常聪明的人。 |
| 397 | Hoofer is an essential passenger | Hoofer是个必不可少的乘客 |
| 398 | in my clown car of multitudes. | 在我的小丑车 多人。 |
| 399 | And in his honor, I will grab this doctorate | 作为他的荣誉,我会抓住这个博士学位 |
| 400 | and then ask President Garber | 然后问加伯总统 |
| 401 | if there's also a cash component. | 如果还有现金成分的话 |
| 402 | You see, I, like you, | 你看,我,喜欢你, |
| 403 | am still very much a work in progress. | 这项工作仍在进行中。 |
| 404 | But the ideals I stress today | 但我今天强调的理想 |
| 405 | have made my life infinitely richer and happier. | 使我的生活变得无限丰富和快乐。 |
| 406 | So maybe my wish for you is not that Harvard | 所以也许我对你的愿望不是哈佛 |
| 407 | becomes the last thing people know about you, | 成为人们了解你的最后一件事 |
| 408 | but instead that Harvard becomes the least important thing | 但哈佛却成了最重要的事情 |
| 409 | people know about you. | 人们知道你。 |
| 410 | Because your real education starts now, | 因为你真正的教育现在开始, |
| 411 | with friends you've made and friends you've yet to meet, | 和你交过朋友 交过朋友 |
| 412 | with stunning successes and miserable defeats, | 有重大的成功和惨败, |
| 413 | and with a humble acceptance that your greatness comes | 谦卑地接受你的伟大降临 |
| 414 | from the mess around you, not despite it. | 从你周围的乱七八糟的, 尽管它。 |
| 415 | From the depths of my heart, | 从我内心深处 |
| 416 | I congratulate you, class of 2026, | 恭喜你 2026级 |
| 417 | not for any piece of paper you receive today, | 不是为了你今天收到的任何一张纸, |
| 418 | but because of your hard work, determination, humanity, | 但是因为你的辛勤工作,决心,人性, |
| 419 | and the boundless community that you have and will create. | 以及你们所创造的无穷无尽的民族。 |
| 420 | Let us all resolve on this great day | 让我们在这伟大的一天下定决心 |
| 421 | to go forward together | 一起前进 |
| 422 | and see Toy Story 5 in theaters everywhere, | 在剧院里看到玩具故事5 |
| 423 | June 19th, thank you. | 6月19日 谢谢 |
| 424 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| 425 | CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 欢呼与掌声 |
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